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the-bjd-community-confess · 4 years ago

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Many Divaz/Z3st confos

Mod: Not all the ones in the inbox, but a batch of them to peruse at your leisure.

1. Z3st got told by a mod on the BJD Discord to stop with his drama-mongering. He argued with the mod. In b4 he whines here about the BJD Discord.

~Anonymous

2. @A certain someone: DOA mods warning you to stop making drama or else ban is not an attack on you. BJD Discord mod warning you to stop making drama or ban is not an attack on you. They're just doing their jobs. To stop finding yourself in situations where you feel attacked, don't make drama. Seriously it's getting super tiresome seeing your crap all over the place esp since you're acting like someone shot your dog or smth. You're doing this to yourself and blaming others for your own actions.

~Anonymous

3. My friend got messaged on FB by Z3st because they posted in support of Divaz. Z3st called them names and tried to prove his "innocence". Apparently my friend wasn't the only person Z3st did this to, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to everyone who commented in support of Divaz. Z3st is crying about being the victim but all I see is him being the aggressor. Who the fuck messages people they don't know to harass them like that?

~Anonymous

4.@al3xcessive... you can't blame someone for "doxxing" you when you put your information out there first. Also, that's not what "doxxing" is, they've literally only showed your name AFTER YOU SHOWED IT YOURSELF PUBLICLY. All of your other information was hidden. I searched for your name on FB and wouldn't have ever found you if you hadn't gone and shown yourself by spamming comments on the post.

~Anonymous

5.lol al3xcess claiming he'd been "harassed" when he DMs random people to call them bootlickers and they tell him to fuck off xD

~Anonymous

6.If the customer is batshit terrible to work with, you refund them and ban them. Don’t feed trolls and all. Seems simple? But Div4s just gonna dox somebody like that? Even their most hardcore fans ought to be sayin “hol up” instead of cheering.

~Anonymous

7.Lol @ Z3st calling Divaz "insidiously hostile" when he himself is this way and he even admitted it: "i had been nothing but nice, and ABSURDLY patient, and understanding and looking back now the gushing tone in which i took makes me sick" - Looking at HIS OWN receipts, his "absurdly nice" is just normal decency. It really says a lot about him that he considers it absurd and that it makes him sick. Divas aren't the ones being insidious, Z3st, you admitted you were deceptive from the getgo.

~Anonymous

8.I'm done with r_s who defend BJDivaz on DoA. I had to wait MONTHS for any sign of life from them, they NEVER answer their emails, and they've mishandled ALL of my orders. They won't be an adult about this! If you're ordering from them, you're pretty much supporting them. Stop.

~Anonymous

9.Neutral to Divaz but seeing them did a call out to a troublesome customer is a bit uncomfortable. I believe they should have kept the person's name as anon, never mention their irl or username. I understand that they are upset that their business reputation is damaged by the customer's words but still a business shouldn't blast their customer's personal info on public platform. A business should be a business. Personal feelings should be handled off the business page.

Again I fully understand Divaz is human too and they can feel upset by exaggerated rumours but a business shouldn't be so sensitive to any provocation. I'm sure other dealers also get a lot of negative comments but we seldom hear them talk about it publicly. Really not my place to say, I think Divaz should try to keep personal emotions off their business page. Occasional bad press will naturally go away on its own if they can maintain good and satisfied customers on a long run. I feel like them fighting back against angry (ex) customers and seeking comfort from others is not the best move as a business. It is fine that they express their frustration to their family and friends but definitely not on a public business page. It just feels unprofessional. It's my 2 cents.

Sorry Divaz, I know you don't want to hear this but please do try to keep personal feelings aside when running a business. It will really help you on a long run. Haters will only use this against you because they know you will react to their provocation. This will never end and only damge your reputation further. Hope for the best.

~Anonymous

10. Cheeesus, that long Divaz post on that DoA user is too much. With all the precise time-stamps details and quotations, it's like a lawyer presenting a courtcase like "the evidence here shows that at 'hour;minute' you said this XXX. Is it true?" And we, the witnesses/audience, are all called to participate in the judgment. lol

~Anonymous

11. ne1 else get msged by Z3st on fb cuz he wants to bitch u out for posting on divaz?

~Anonymous

12. Divaz doxxes and stalks people, talks shit about customers on their FB, forgets to place orders, hands out tons of excuses for why they can't reply... among other things. Why the fuck are you all still dealing with them? Cl0ver singing, Alice's and a bunch of other companies are ten times better. Stop👏 validating👏 shitty 👏companies 👏

~Anonymous

13.There are certain people who always jump to the defense of BjDivaz and get mad when other people have legitimate issues with them. Get a life. Some of us have real problems and bad experiences ordering from them.

~Anonymous

14. I know everyone has a different situation and state their opinion with what they have already experienced, but I'm not gonna lie that I felt bad when I read someone saying that bjdivaz long layaways aren't even neccesary and they should just remove it. While I do agree bjdivaz could improve in how they manage some stuff, at the same time they are the only ones that let me "join" the hobby and don't feel bad because I can't pay in full or put down big payments as other hobbyists. I know it's not neccesary and I can save, but from someone who comes from a place of poverty I already feel guilty enough spending in a hobby and having big amounts of money always end up in paying emergencies and starting from 0 again. So these "really long and unnecessary layaways" give me the opportunity to not feel as guilty and enjoy something like the rest without spending too much every month to the point that it could affect my daily life.

~Anonymous

15. Z3st/Alex is legitimately evil for what he's doing, trying to put a company out of business that, per the emails that he himself posted, has never been anything but helpful to him (and many others). I'd bet he's the main source of all the BJDivaz hate going on here, and the miserable people around here were more than happy to grab their pitchforks and join his mob. Stop it.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers #BJD Groups

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grailfinders · 4 years ago

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Fate and Phantasms #159

Today on Fate and Phantasms we bring you the outlaw star himself, Assassin of Shinjuku! As always, it’s hard to go into detail about Sassyshin’s abilities without giving away his identity, so true name spoilers below the cut.

Check out his build breakdown below, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Wait a minute, I thought King Arthur was a girl!

This build blends Yan Qing’s Shadow Monk techniques with the Doppelganger’s shapeshifting, here represented by the Whispers Bard levels. Kill people, steal their identity, repeat!

Race and Background

Technically Yan Qing is part ghost, but it’s a lot easier to call him a Variant Human instead. If you really want to lean into the doppelganger thing Changeling’s right there, but then you won’t get +1 Dexterity and Charisma, Acrobatics proficiency to jump up entire castles with ease, and the Observant feat to show off why they call you the Skillful Star. This feat gives you +1 Wisdom, the ability to read lips, and you get +5 to your passive Perception and Investigation scores so your disguises are a bit more detailed.

Of course you get the Criminal background, giving you Deception and Stealth proficiencies.

Ability Scores

Speaking of being the Skillful Star, all that martial arts training should make your Dexterity pretty freaking high. After that is Charisma, you’re really good at disguises, and almost as good at making convincing arguments. Almost. After that is Wisdom for more skill and more observational skills. Your Constitution isn’t half bad, you can take a lot of damage and keep going. When you’re fighting against Guda. When you’re actually on their team, that’s a different story. Your Strength should probably be a bit higher, but it’s not very useful for the build. Finally, dump Intelligence. Sassy-shin is many things to many people, but Himbo is definitely one of them.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Starting with monk will help you get your shirtless scenes going earlier thanks to your Unarmored Defense giving you an AC based on your dexterity and wisdom. You also get some Martial Arts, letting you use dexterity instead of strength when fighting, giving you a minimum of a d4 in damage when using unarmed attacks, and you can attack as a bonus action if you attack as an action.

On top of all that, you also get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves as well as Athletics for even better climbing skills and Insight, because you can’t manipulate people if you don’t know what they want.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks get Ki points each short rest equal to their monk level. Currently, that lets you Dash, Disengage, Dodge, or Attack Twice as a bonus action, but more stuff will come up as we go. Your Unarmored Movement also lets you move just a bit faster while shirtless.

3. Bard 1: Your impersonation powers come from the doppelganger, a fictional creature (also you’re fictional, but hush), so bard’s as good as any class to get their powers from. Grabbing bard second gives you Perception proficiency for even more detailed disguises, as well as Bardic Inspiration. Right now they’re a pool of d6s that recharge on long rests. You can hand out to allies to help them with their d20 rolls-checks, saves, attacks, all that good stuff. Unless your DM somehow incorporated C. Stars into their game, this is one of the closest ways you have to get the actual Skillful Star skill in D&D.

Beyond that, you also learn a couple Spells that use your Charisma to cast. Light helps your dumb human eyes see in the dark and also do the glowy hand thing. It won’t actually help with damage, but it looks cool, and that’s what’s really important. You also get Vicious Mockery, tbh stealing the memory of an enemy’s loved ones means you can get some really disturbing insults.

For first level spells, grab Bane for more insults, Disguise Self for a cheapo disguise that doesn’t even work physically, Longstrider to press your speed advantage further, and Heroism, because you’re a pretty nice guy when you put aside the identity theft.

4. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to checks that you’re not proficient in, even making you a little bit faster by boosting your initiative bonus. You can also use a Song of Rest to add a d6 to the healing your party does over a short rest. I mean, you’re a character in a novel, you’ve got to have some good stories to share, right?

For your spell this level, grab Speak with Animals. Working with Lobo is always rough, but at least now you’ll be able to tell his “I’ll tear you limb from limb” bark from his “I’ll tear you limb from limb later” bark.

5. Bard 3: Your doppelganger side grants you the power of a bard from the college of Whispers. When you join the college, you can use your bardic inspiration to create Psychic Blades, adding 2d6 psychic damage to a weapon attack once per turn. I’ve given up trying to figure out if hitting things with your hands count as weapon attacks, so maybe just keep a knife on standby.

You also learn Words of Terror, spending a minute alone with your target to force a wisdom save (DC 8+proficiency+charisma mod) or they become frightened of a creature you choose for up to an hour or until it or an ally takes damage where it can see you. You can use this once per short rest, and if they succeed on their save there’s not tell that you did anything. You also get Expertise in Insight and Deception to make your disguises flawless.

Your spell this time is Enhance Ability, making you even better at whatever you set out to do by giving you (or another creature) advantage on one kind of ability check. For those of you playing along at home, this means you now have a +8 to deception checks, with advantage. Even without your disguises, you’re already doing pretty well for yourself.

6. Bard 4: But “pretty well” isn’t perfect. We can do better. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Actor feat, rounding up your Charisma for extra inspiration and stronger spells. You also get advantage on deception and performance checks to act as a different person, no spells required. On top of all that, you can mimic the speech of a creature you’ve heard talking for at least a minute, requiring a contested Insight check vs your Deception check to figure things out.

For those rare times you’re trying to be yourself, you can also use Friends to get advantage instead. When that inevitably backfires, use Mirror Image to create some shadow clones for an easier escape. The spell makes three copies of yourself, and when you would get hit by an attack there’s a 75% chance it will hit one of them instead. After they take a hit for you, they pop, reducing the odds of blocking the next attack. MI is technically UA, but it’s not exactly a massive power boost.

7. Bard 5: Fifth level bards see their inspiration dice grow to d8s. While that doesn’t affect your psychic blades, your Font of Inspiration does, letting you recharge inspiration on short rests for more consistent support and damage.

You also learn how to Feign Death to escape any criminal/detective duos on your trail. Admittedly this isn’t as effective as disguising yourself as a civilian, as it basically knocks you out for an hour, giving you resistance to most types of damage and prevents any sort of effect from diseases or poison.

8. Bard 6: The sixth level of bard is where our plan really comes together. No, I’m not talking about Countercharm, get that shit outta here. We’re here for the Mantle of Whispers, letting you steal a humanoid’s shadow when it dies nearby once per short rest. Using their shadow, you can create an hour-long disguise that not only makes you look like the person, but gives you information they would give away to acquaintances. Creatures can see through the disguise with an Insight check against your Deception check, but you get a +5 to that, on top of everything else.

9. Monk 3: Stealing peoples’ identity is nice, but it’s time we got back to punching good. Third level monks get their way, and Way of Shadow helps you take advantage of Shinjuku’s oppressive atmosphere to make the town your own. Your Shadow Arts lets you cast spells like Darkness, Darkvision, Pass without Trace, or Silence using your Ki points. You can also cast Minor Illusion to take your stealth to the next level with some free distractions.

Besides all that, you can Deflect Missiles, catching them out of the air to reduce damage and possibly even throwing them back as a reaction.

Now that you have a bunch of things eating away at your Ki points, you can use your Ki-Fueled Attack to attack as a bonus action if your main action uses your Ki. Now nothing can stop you from delivering those hands.

10. Monk 4: Been a while since your last ASI, huh? Use this one to boost your Dexterity for a better AC and stronger attacks. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction, reducing fall damage by five times your monk level. As Moriarty could tell you, falling off a skyscraper hurts.

11. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each attack action, and you can turn those attacks into Stunning Strikes by using Ki. If the target fails a constitution save all attacks on them for the round have advantage. Great way to fish for crits for your psychic blades.

12. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magic against resistances. You’re a Tier-3 character, you’ll probably need this.

You can also use your brand new Shadow Step to teleport between shadows as a bonus action. Moving so quickly also gives you advantage on your next attack.

13. Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like using Phantasmal Killer to create a more offensive shadow clone. For up to a minute one targeted creature needs to make a wisdom save. If they fail, they’re frightened and at the end of each turn they have to make another wisdom save or they take psychic damage.

14. Bard 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma again for stronger spells and inspiration. You can also use Freedom of Movement to escape from impossible binds. Just disguise yourself as a free person, I can’t believe nobody thought of this before.

15. Bard 9: Our last level of bard charges your Song of Rest to a d8, and you get a fifth level spell. Mislead lets you move so fast enemies will have to hit your afterimage, simultaneously turning you invisible and creating an illusion of yourself. The illusion lasts for an hour, but you only stay invisible until you attack or cast another spell. It can speak or gesture just like you, and you can even see through its eyes.

16. Monk 7: Seventh level monks finally get Evasion, turning your dex saves into supersaves. Now your failures deal as much damage as your successes, and your successes avoid all damage entirely. Your Stillness of Mind also lets you shut down effects that are charming or frightening you.

17. Monk 8: Use your last ASI to bump up your Wisdom for a stronger AC. Technically grabbing more Dexterity would be better here, but I like rounding stuff up more than capping it out. Makes room for DM stuff.

18. Monk 9: Your Unarmored Movement Improvement lets you run up walls and over water, so long as you don’t end your turn there. You can finally climb up that huge freaking castle you’ve been eyeing for a while!

19. Monk 10: Tenth level monks get a Purity of Body that makes you immune to disease and poison. At least this isn’t your capstone?

20. Monk 11: As an eleventh level shadow monk gets a Cloak of Shadows, letting you disguise yourself as a Vashta Narada as an action, becoming invisible in dim light or darker. This lasts until you attack, cast a spell, or leave the shadows. I’m pretty sure this qualifies for that whole “cast no shadow” thing you’re always going on about, right?

Pros:

You are the one true imposter. With advantage as well as +21 to all your deception rolls to disguise yourself, you’re pretty much undiscoverable. On top of that, you’re also great at reading people with a +15 to insight. The only person doing impressions around here is you, thank ya kindly.

Like all monks, you’re really fast, with 50′ of movement speed, dash options, teleporting options, and ways to make yourself even faster via magic. You go down harder than the KT event, but you’re fine as long as you don’t get hit.

You also come with tons of ways to mess with the enemy. Make yourself invisible, shoot darkness like a squid shoots ink, have them chasing an illusion, or even just disguise yourself as a loved one. You are a terror to fight.

Cons:

Touching on that thing I said back in Pro #2, you’re pretty squishy, with barely over 100 HP and only 17 AC. Stick to the shadows, you’ll need them.

You also have a serious issue with range. Anything that can outspeed you will find it pretty easy to have you running in circles, since your best ranged attacks are cantrips.

This build is also a little bit complicated, with balancing your Ki, inspirations, who you can disguise as, who you can mimic, and all that fun stuff. Like a lot of the clever people builds, don’t expect to play this one like you would a barbarian.

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #DND #Assassin of Shinjuku #Bard #Monk

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vietzuko · 4 years ago

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if we used to share a discord server, this post is for you!

hello! i am going to try to do this as anonymously and non-confrontationally as possible. i do not want this to be a spectacle or call out post, but i will say that i am quite disturbed by the way situations have transpired on the server.

in case you didn’t notice, i left! when i left, i wrote a little goodbye post in #general, which has since been deleted. either the mods deleted my goodbye or they banned me from the server (which automatically would delete my message). in case you didn’t see it, here was my goodbye message:

hi everyone, i’m leaving the server. if you’re a POC who is interested in joining an ATLA server where POC can talk about ATLA and critically discuss race, feel free to PM me for a link! otherwise, this is goodbye. see you all around.

i won’t rehash everything that happened in the events leading to this, nor will i name names in this post. if you were on the server, you probably saw what happened publicly or you can message me personally, either here or on discord. if we know each other through the server and you want some clarity over names/events in this post, please PM me.

if you are a POC in the ATLA fandom who is concerned by the events of this post and you would like me to clarify which server i’m talking about, please PM me.

i just wanted to share the very long message that i sent to the mods (on their prompting!) because i feel that it shows my perspective on what transpired. unfortunately, this message did not result in any meaningful change, except for me getting banned/my messages removed from the server. i suppose that’s a type of meaning! haha.

anyway. here’s the message. cw for racism, yellowface

hi MOD 1 (and presumably the other mods who will read this message)! thanks for reaching out. i’ve had some time to dwell on the situation and discuss it with other people in the server who witnessed it and reached out to me personally. this is going to be an unbelievably long message, so i apologize in advance and thank you for your time in reading it.

i think the first thing i’d like to do is give some context for the incident and to give my perspective on why i said the things i said.

i have PMed a mod about a racist incident in the server exactly once. it was when i first joined, and i saw a picture of a white person in yellowface in the cosplay channel. i didn’t know any of you personally yet (and this was before some of you even joined on as mods). i have since told SERVER MEMBER 1 about this incident and i’m pretty sure they mentioned it to you because i noticed you’ve changed the yellowface rule. but i think that the context of me pinging a mod about a racist incident and then witnessing another (although less egregious) instance of racism by the mods might explain why i am, in general, hesitant about talking to mods about racism on the server. i am just trying to live my life and experience as few micro-aggressions as possible.

i also think the fact that i regularly educate and push back against white people’s racially harmful messages in the server is also important context. i realize none of you likely know this, but about every two weeks i receive an unsolicited PM from a different white person apologizing/asking for forgiveness/asking for reassurance/asking further questions about their racism on the server. i’m glad people are learning from me, but this is a huge amount of emotional labor that i put into the server and its members because of course i have to reply and explain things and tell them not to worry and thank them for apologizing, etc. i know that these messages aren’t your fault, nor am i asking you to do anything about this. but it feels important that you know the price that i (and perhaps other poc in the server, although i can’t speak to that) pay in order to share space with you.

MOD 2 has even messaged me personally to thank me for educating people in the server and responding to racist messages, saying: “really appreciate how much effort you put in and everything, i was trying to type something up but floundering badly.” it was a nice message, and i appreciated it a lot! it also led me to believe that the mods would prefer if i engage with racist messages myself, rather than ping them, because it felt like i was just going to be more able/willing to articulate a response anyway.

so when SERVER MEMBER 2 messaged the zukka channel “thought that lives in my head rent free: Sokka's hairstyle in canon is just a warrior's hairstyle and has meaning because of that. Sokka wearing the same hairstyle in a modern AU is undisputably queer-coded” and nobody replied for a while, i assumed that it was because they had seen what i had seen-- a racially insensitive message that totally ignores sokka’s indigenous heritage and the history behind indigenous hair-- so i decided to step in with what i thought was a balanced response.

SERVER MEMBER 2 then replied with a cheery “Fair enough! I will defer to your greater knowledge,” which i couldn’t tell was sarcastic or not, but i decided to be generous and to believe they were genuinely thankful for my reply, so i responded with a “you too can have great knowledge. i only know things because i read things. anyone can read things and learn,” which is something i firmly believe and also a way to divert the conversation away from SERVER MEMBER 2’s mistake, which i felt was the most dignified solution for them. i suppose this message could be read as aggressive because i didn’t use exclamation marks? but that feels unfair and ungenerous because i genuinely did not mean this message in a harsh way.

then SERVER MEMBER 3 jumped in and asked a few questions, which i read as a request for clarification, so i tried to continue to explain my point. it felt like SERVER MEMBER 3 wasn’t understanding what i was trying to explain, or at least i wasn’t able to articulate myself well enough, which was making me a little tired and stressy (and i was also thinking about my own race and queerness in stressful and triggering ways), so i decided to tap out of the conversation.

me: dude i love u and i respect u and i truly believe that u are trying very hard to understand, but this conversation is making me kinda heated

SERVER MEMBER 3: I’m gonna step back from it because it’s not my conversation to insert myself into, which is what I did initially and apologize for

me: i think it's so important to engage + ask questions & i appreciate that u respect my opinions on these things, but i think i'm just. i have said what i need to say and now must sleep. much love to all.

to me, this felt like me expressing that i was feeling tired and upset and leaving the conversation, while still attempting to reassure SERVER MEMBER 3 that i still admired him as a friend. i felt like the conversation had ended peacefully!

i hope this helps explain why MOD 3’s message came as such a surprise.

“the escalation to defensiveness and accusation regarding the original (relatively benign) statement was unnecessary and exaggerated. There’s an atmosphere of purity policing that’s been growing, which is why I took away the squick channel, as I assumed that a space that encouraged no repercussions was facilitating irresponsibility aggressive arguments. “

i truly didn’t believe i was being defensive. i was very careful not to accuse anyone of anything. in fact, i tried as far as i could to coat my language in “i” statements-- “i would personally not choose…”, “i would just. stay away from…” in order to avoid “accusations.” i was also trying very hard not to be aggressive, and i (and other poc that i have spoken to about this) believe that the idea that my messages were aggressive is racialized. just because a poc is upset about racism, it doesn’t mean they’re attacking you personally!

i feel so hurt that my messages were wilfully interpreted in this way, instead of being read generously and from a more compassionate perspective, especially since i voiced my own upset and discomfort during the conversation. it distresses me to think that me expressing negative emotions is seen as aggressive, rather than a cause for empathy or care, and i do believe that this is because of my race.

if a mod had asked me to take the messages to the DMs or to squick or even just let me know that someone was interpreting my messages as aggressive, i would have changed my behavior. (like i said earlier, i spend a HUGE amount of energy coddling white people on this server. i am very used to it.)

instead, i got the shock of 45 minutes after the fact, being publicly chastised and labeled as aggressive and being told that my conversation was “something nasty or unwanted.”

the idea that SERVER MEMBER 3 was de-escalating a “clearly escalating situation” feels untrue to me. i was ready to move on after i sent my message to SERVER MEMBER 2, but he kept engaging me on the subject! (no hate to SERVER MEMBER 3 on this.)

i think one of the most painful parts of this whole situation is the implication that i was attempting to “purity police,” as though i am a person who picks fights just because i want to feel good about picking fights?? or to act holier-than-thou???? i do not do this. if you have witnessed ANY interaction i’ve had with a racially insensitive white person on the server, you will know this.

i am simply a person of color trying to live my life. i do not want to fight about racism. i want to chill out and watch my cartoons. unfortunately, sometimes, someone will say something that i consider racially insensitive and i will do my best to engage and explain why i find this insensitive. that is all. (it is important to note that most of the time, when i see racially insensitive things on the server, i do not say anything because i am tired and it is a lot of effort to engage. i truly only engaged this time because nobody had replied to the message and i was just like, oh, fine, i guess i’ll educate, since no one else has!)

this whole incident has honestly made me really hurt and disrespected. i have enjoyed my time on the server and i have made some good friends there. however, it feels clearer and clearer to me that the server is a space where white feelings of safety (not being criticized for their racist content) are prioritized over poc’s feelings of safety (not having to witness and experience racist content). i sincerely considered myself to be an active and enthusiastic member of the server, maybe even friends with some of you, but it feels to me that all of our previous positive interactions have been displaced by this idea of me as an aggressive, overzealous purity cop who calls things racist for fun.

i don’t even know how to repair my relationship with the server after this because i really do feel horrible and sick about the whole thing. i have spoken to other poc who also expressed their concerns about the way the mods handled the situation, even if these other poc weren’t directly involved, and some of us are considering leaving the server, if we haven’t already. (i would also like to note that these people reached out to me, unprompted, to make sure i was doing okay after what they and i interpreted as a micro-aggression by the mods. like, we independently read the situation in this way.)

(also, not sure if this matters, but i talked to SERVER MEMBER 3 the morning after the incident because i wanted to make sure he was okay, and we both ended up apologizing to each other and having a really good and productive talk.)

thanks again for reading this. i hope that you’ll be able to better understand my perspective on what occurred. i truly appreciate the work that you put into the server (especially as someone who also puts work into the server lol), and i know it’s difficult to mod a large server (i also mod an atla server!), but i continue to feel hurt about this. i know it’s hard to read tone over server messages, but i really wish that my (and SERVER MEMBER 4′s and SERVER MEMBER 5′s ) server messages had been read with greater compassion.

...

and that’s all folks! i’m going to be remaking my blog soon, partially because this whole experience has exhausted me and partially because i have been meaning to anonymize my internet presence for some time.

#felix.txt

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avenger-hawk · 5 years ago

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(1/3)HELLO! It's me, Anon who loves you again(lol). But you can call me Zera since I feel like we are going to interact more now (if u want to of course). But Damn, I just went back to finally read your response and I agree so much with what you say. I have an entire essay to write back and this shitty ask will not let me express myself lmao. Anyway, those past few days I felt so shitty just because of how degratory people can be on the internet because they think they are anonymous.

(2/3)Tumblr at this point is so…f*ucked. Constant slandering denigration, muckraking and aspersions. Some people try to negate the toxic and keep it alive but this platform is a breeding place for mob mentality. I’ve seen so many people bullied out of the place just for having a differing opinion. And so many people being all woke trying to “spill tea”, “expose” real people. They tarnish people’s feelings and reputations all behind their safe anonymous cocoon.

(3/3) And they justify this abuse/slander with “I am allowed to express my opinions so gtfo if you don’t agree bitch”. They play the victim when people tell them that opinions do not mean denigrating real people for bullshit reasons with no real proof. At this point sweetie, I am just ranting. Sorry if I am bothering you with those negative thoughts but I felt so shitty those past few days and you are pratically the only one I can get behind in this hellhole tumblr shit. Also, I am writing out-

(Last Part) As I was TRYING TO SAY before the limit bullshit cut me off, I am writing out a response to your previous response to my previous ask. It’s way too long already so I will either need to send you through dm or cut it out into pieces after I have fully written everything out. Thankkk you so much for talking to me despite me being so sudden with you. I appreciate you so much and I hope you are taking care out there (both physically AND mentally). Also, loving those art reblogs

Hello Zera and nice to meet you by your name (or nickname, it’s cute anyway~) and I’m glad you like my fanart reblogs.

I am sorry that you are feeling shitty…it’s frustrating, to say the least, to see people hide behind anonymous and slander blogs, names, real people who are behind them, for an opinion, a taste, whatever. I find irritating even the words/expressions they use, maybe because as a non native English speaker I saw them for the first time used in this bad context so they are only associated to tumblr fake woke idiots and their ‘that’s the tea’ shit. And it’s ironic that they can talk shit about people however they want but when people do the same to them they justify with not only the reasons I listen in my last reply but also with this thing you mentioned, that they are allowed to express their opinion…like, what about the person they slandered? oh but they are not ‘valid’ (I hate this word too) because their opinion is wrong. Says them, ofc. Then ofc they start playing the victim because poor kids, everyone is a bully to them.

It’s ok to rant, I understand your feeling well and I’d like to tell you that if you ‘stop paying attention’ to this it will be ok, but I do fall into the frustration & irritation pit too sometimes. But it happens less often, cause I channeled my fandom time and interested on positive stuff instead and so I want to stay. I don’t want to be preachy or belittle this problem because I know how hard it is (and you can see in my blog that I struggled with these problems directly too, both from dumbasses like those you describe, and from a different kind of creep lol, and even in my other fandom there is slandering and calling out and horrible things), but recently even more, all this coronavirus lockdown (my country is in quarantine since more than a month now) and something horrible that happened to the person I love, made me reconsider certain things. At least for me, at least for now, their importance is dulled down now…Even more than before where I was already detached from fandom dramas.

And since I can see things from a detached perspective I might try ‘suggesting’ something to not let this shit get to you…because life is a b*tch and you can’t allow yourself to suffer for f*ckers who don’t even show themselves, hiding behind an anonymous, or running a shitty blog where they just shit on people, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t engage in fandom discussion (or, like they call it, ‘discourse’, another word I hate) anyway, and I recommend everyone to not engage in anything with those f*ckers. Not because you (not just you Zera but you guys in general) are scared of them but because what they want is attention, and receiving replies, reblogs, attacks, everything, is what they want. blocking them, even making fun of them like they do to others, is ok, cause it’s repaying them with their same treatment. But cut communication. Block people, everyone. These idiots, their friends, those who put likes on their shit, those who put likes on their shit but also to your stuff because they can’t pick a side and maybe they’re good people who don’t think much about these things. Block every single person who irritates you even just a little, and everyone around them. Unfollow people, but mostly block them. The fanarts I post now has little notes compared to the ones I had in the past when I posted them, because I blocked everyone who annoys me, everyone whose opinions annoy me, everyone who starts shit even though I don’t want to speak to them, like every SN/SI/canon stans and puritans and more. I unfollowed friends who followed one of those fake woke b*tches, who reblogged their stuff I didn’t want to see, and made them unfollow me. Marie Kondo my a** lol

And make it clear, so that those who’ll see these people shitting on someone who clearly said they blocked them, will realize who’s bullying who. Maybe it won’t change anything in the short period but in the long run it will, because these assholes have their same behavioral pattern, being overt or even more, covert narcissistic b*tches in need of attention, so if their target ignores them they’ll move to another, in the same ‘area’.

The temptation to check their blogs and see if they attack you, your friends, or what they do in order to protect yourself is strong, but it won’t help getting over this. I know it’s hard and I fell into this a lot, but we all should use fandoms in a positive way to get distracted when we feel like shit because of fandoms…like looking at fanarts, fanfiction or using some private chat group that you know it’s a safe space, even though I read that a dischord chat became moralistic hell unexpectedly, for some the people who joined.

Anyway, sometimes we (and I include myself) fall into this ‘addiction’ where we consider fandom things so important, and we neglect real life people and things…and negative shit like bullying, slandering and all this makes us feel horribly and it’s not different from real life bullying. Sometimes it’s even worse because we join a fandom as a distraction, an escape route sometimes for real life problems, and instead we end up feeling like shit because of it. But, as someone who spent a whole year trying to expose a very bad person who did bad things to me online, and as a person who was slandered many times and always fought back, I can say that letting this affect our real life is bad. Because real life is even harder and we don’t need more weights on our shoulders. And if something like illness or death get close to your circle of people, you realize how all this is pointless, how these f*ckers have no purpose in their pathetic lives other than making others feel bad, and how we can and must fight back everything, but not let it get inside our heads and hearts, where we must keep things we like, our fave characters, ships, dynamics, kinks, people, whatever.

Because, and really everything I say I tried and try on myself first, there will come a time where you’ll look back at this and you’ll realize you might have missed something more important in your life, real or online it doesn’t matter, both are important…Life, I was saying, sometimes is cruel in big and small ways, taking something or someone away from you when you least expect it, making it hard to do the things you like because some a**holes decides it’s wrong, online and offline (like, try feeding crows in my area and see how much hate you can get, and being hated for something so harmless is really horrible, and it’s like the real life representation of online shit imo) is too short to worry about shitty blogs run by shitty people or shitty anons~

I really hope you’re feeling better Zera, and if you celebrate Easter I wish you a happy one!

#Anonymous #replies &co #fanon and fandom stuff

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transkieran · 6 years ago

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anyway, guarma & colm-odriscoll-is-my-daddy (& friends) think abusive ships are a funny way to get under someone’s skin

JUST FYI: I woulda had this conversation in private, but @guarma keeps calling Erin a bitch with a god-complex, even though everything she accuses Erin of is something I did, and she refuses to acknowledge me. So no more private, she called me a pussy for not confronting her. Well here's the confront ig!

background context: people decided to start shitting on the Yehaw Function server again in another server (let’s say ‘A’ bc I do not wish to drag the owner into this, they were rarely online). @ssupeck21 thought it was perfectly fine to mock the gender and race of a two-spirited native trans guy. nice transphobia and racism there!

considering i remarked on it, they realized i knew him and suspected me of leaking the above screenshot to the YF server. i had already left this server at the end of february over several reasons, including erin’s server becoming my main one. i’m also reasonably sure i have mentioned no longer being in YF at some point. damage done: kate (guarma) and pongo ( @colm-odriscoll-is-my-daddy ) now think i’m “a spy” for YF. (ironic because @ssupeck21 let @jennyxbeans into erin’s server bc she was spying for jenn. and more irony later)

as proven in DM to someone later (oh no, a spied image?), they had the amazing idea to bait me and erin with something that is a massive trigger for me (bully/victim ships). some weirdness: by that time, i’d only made about 2 b/k posts on my blog, neither of which mentioned my trauma i’m pretty sure. erin meanwhile, wasn’t even in the original convi from the first screenshot, though she has mentioned she finds b/k gross.

so whilst this in its entirety is already immature in itself (really? you think someone is sending screenshots and wanna get ‘revenge’ when you constantly rely on getting screenshots yourself? yes i know someone leaked you screenshots of YF, kate). but also: for someone who talked about being abused and having anxiety, she should know better than use an abusive ship to get back at someone. because i’m 99% sure she knows b/k is a trigger for me; whilst not on my blog, i have had plenty of rants and vents in servers about how b/k is not good for my mental health and that it will make me panic.

conversation #1 (i do not have screenshots of this): someone asked what everyone’s ships are in rdr2. bill/kieran gets mentioned, at some point i put rooWut (a disgusted looking emote) and remark something about abusive gay ships being cute to them. it gets glossed over, i leave.

conversation #2. the conversation moves to the nsfw channel, where they pin the message in the above screenshot. ha ha , bully/victim ships are a funny joke! conversation moves on to arthur and other things until Pongo clearly feels like she wants to force a reaction out of me and/or erin. (living dead girl is erin, i am dan’s achy breaky heart).

at this point, my anxiety spikes and i put something along the lines of “my fist up your ass would look cute” in the vent chat of Erin’s server. NSFW with b/k is not good for me, at all. it made me flashback to something, i’m basically just trying to not have a panic attack. but ! ofc , why stop now.

pongo makes another comment, now not under a spoiler tag and clearly with the context of the DM to get another reaction out of me. erin puts a completely unrelated image to try and divert the conversation, because i’m like entirely losing it at this point---but kate and pongo think it’s hilarious to talk about actually shipping it and kate (micah bell’s dumb hair in the screenshots) is all “omg i wanna write a smut now for them”.

also: my nickname in this server includes ‘trans kieran’ at this point , either as just my url or like “lion ♡ trans kieran��. they all know i am a gay trans guy, even if some of them currently like to pretend they don’t know me. (hi, @morlawny who doesn’t even wanna say my name at this point despite being all nice in erin’s server.)

i can’t entirely remember my own message, nor do i have screenshots of it because i send it and left and they deleted it like straight after it seems (because an older screenshot, from the day itself, also didn’t have my message anymore). i left because at that point, i lost all ability to think straight. because someone can remark on b/k before and they’ll still be all “ha ha funny!”

at this point, in erin’s server, two things happen. one friend of kate, who isn’t in the server this happened in, asks if she ships bill/kieran and kate admits her plan to just trigger me. because of this, kate starts acting like the victim and making me out like the bad guy who’s shittalking her and refuses to talk to her--which, during a panic attack and with my feelings very clear, i don’t need to.

secondly, another friend of kate decides my trauma is funny and starts to send kate (on request) screenshots of the vent conversation in erin’s server, starting from the goddamn my fist up your ass comment. the conversation also includes details of my trauma. my trauma is being send around like gossip.

also this happens in the server i left and i get send it:

i dunno what planet anyone is living on but, apparently my melt down was only good for one thing: getting mocked. “kieran’s coochie” is transphobic as fuck when you’re laughing at a trans guy getting upset over bill/kieran. especially when it’s very clear i hc kieran as trans. yet, pongo, wolfy ( @soulheartthewolf ) and kate seem to think it’s fucking hilarious.

kate and pongo then try to play the “we were just joking!” card. when everyone i’ve had read those screenshots agrees nothing about it reads as a joke, and we’re now very sure they weren’t joking about, they were being vile and malicious. (but hey, what’s to expect from someone who says they’d fuck a fictional racist if he was real! that’s ... excusing racism, kate).

(guarma is micah bell? you mean my husband ;; pongo is arthur morgan is an incel. the other person is the artist who drew young micah, idk their url anymore)

“my mocking of the Bill/Kieran ship” I’m so sorry, Kate, but nothing about nsfw b/k and wanting to write a fic about it, reads as mocking. This entire “it’s just a joke!” doesn’t diminish the fact that you triggered a panic attack. Yes, I shittalked you, because I felt like it was goddamn deserved for "joking” about an abusive ship in a way that didn’t read as a joke. because after I left neither of you got the damn hint and just went straight for the transphobia. It’s not get together and hate guarma, it’s “lion has a panic attack and will actually react insanely aggressively about the things that upset him”. You can turn and twist this into you being the victim all you want, but you ain’t. You’re a pathetic example of a 19 year old who thinks it’s funny to trigger flashbacks and panic attacks. I didn’t talk to you, because at the time the only thing I would’ve probably said, which is also what I’m saying now, is: go shove an entire cactus up your ass, you pathetic cunt of a human being.

Leave Erin out of this, it’s goddamn hilarious you keep going after a cis bi woman instead of after me, a gay trans guy, and god I fucking wonder why.

You interact with people who think they can just be racist and transphobic towards anyone they like ( @ssupeck21 ), with people who’ll willing send you all the screenshots you want, with people who send anon hate ( @jennyxbeans ), you’re treating trauma and abuse like a joke and then have the gal to be all “i’d never because i have anxiety!” No. Own up to your shit.

(I could go on in this post about how she’s just as bad a shittalking, leaked screenshot-wanting piece of shit but hey, the post is very long already so whatever).

edit: i have deleted screenshot leaking accusations towards morlawny bc i can’t actually prove them but i’m keeping up the thing where you decided to be all nice to me in servers, but then turned around and were all “idk kate didn’t say any of that” (i literally know u were there for those conversations, your name in screenshots!) and tried to defend her constantly in a DM with someone.

#red dead redemption #guarma #userguarma #idk if she has a tag lmao #colm-odriscoll-is-my-daddy

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fmlfpl · 5 years ago

Photo

Lineup Lamentations - GW22

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

And for those Patreon subs who missed it we did a super late night Friday My Life episode last night. Get in there.

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Martin Kelly

IN: Brandon Williams

Doing a little puss move with two frees to save a couple doll hairs and floating the other. Guess I'm looking at Mane in for Kun so doing this buys me some more time.

Kelly I can't imagine will have a job when the window closes and with bad fixtures he's an easy sell. Like I would sell Rico instead? Laughable.

Baby Will have been eyeing up for a while now and while he might be dropped at any moment he's just a 4.0 who will slot in and the end of my bench at the worst case, and be a rotating decent option in the best case. I like his attacking intent and if slab is out then maybe they'll actually keep cleans.

GK:

Schmeichel (SOU)

Woodman legend. Get back in there. Schmike off the bench will feel like free points.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold (tot)

Trent with a tough on paper fixture but it's still Trent always feels good with him going.

Lundstram (WHU)

Pointstram finally has a good fixture so hopefully the gameweek starts off well with some points from him in the early game. Will look at adding another SheffU defender or two in their good run coming up.

Pereira (SOU)

Ricardo finally got me points last week so that was a nice thing. Not really too sure about what this game will look like with Ndidi out...but Ricardo still feels like an okay start maybe will spike an attacking return..due?

Williams (NOR)

Finally is new friend baby who I will start with Norwich visiting.

Would be third game in a week for him and it would certainly be no surprise to see Young at this spot but meh backing the boy to keep his place. He's been actively good which is not something that can be said about many of his teammates.

MID:

Just three amigos for me this weekend in mid hopefully they're good lads.

Martial (NOR)

TonyM glove merchant with a good on paper fixture which means who knows what the fuck IRL. Nice rest for him should be back to his normal self solid hold here.

De Bruyne (avl)

Kevin has a dream fixture at Villa and hopefully will not be playing DM.

Salah (tot)

Mo will be up against a bus this weekend but has been looking good lately and no reason to expect that to change.

FWD:

Vardy (SOU)

Vardz still in the fuck. Whatever.

Maupay (eve)

Neal goddammit Neal such a tormenting guy he is. I'm gonna hold him and I'm going to be subject to his will. My body is ready.

Agüero (avl)

Team is rounded out with Kun the god. Will be sacrificing babes to the alter of Pep the bauld fraud hoping this guy is on the sheet. If so, yay. If not, not yay.

CAP:

Agüero (avl)

Kun. Got the week off...still believe he is first choice..so he gets the armband. It could be great...which would be fucking great...or it could be not great which would equate to more of the same for me this season.

Feel like this is the only shout for a cricket score on the menu this weekend so I'm backing Kun. Insert shrug emoji here.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Kane and Stephens

IN: Calvert-Lewin and Sarr

I’m really pushing it close to the deadline here but I was having a panic morning of being indecisive again... Been a theme this season unfortunately...

Went back and forth with pod partner a bit on Slack and he lead me back to the source energy of Ismaïla Sarr who I’ve been wanting on my team since he got transferred to Watford and now I finally have him.

Bringing in two guys I really like and rate with enough money in the bank to go Kelly->Trent feels like I did something maybe good or at least maybe not bad.

Let’s go.

GK:

Ryan (eve)

My keeper is such a good lad donating a chunk of cash for every save this weekend you love to see it.

With that now I expect him to have double digit saves tomorrow at Goodison and maybe save a pen too. Conceding one to DCL along the way and everyone wins.

Come on Maty.

DEF:

van Dijk (tot)

Not really sure what this match is going to look like at all. I assume Spurs double-decker bus and trying to counter but we’ll see. If that ends up being the case then a clean is very real.

Söyüncü (SOU)

My guy from GW1 we’ve been through thick and thin together.

Home Soton just keep Ings out my lord please god keep Ingsy out.

Lundstram (WHU)

I still mostly think West Ham are bad and Moyesy’s Boys will be bad but there is a bit of a bounce in the air which is troubling.

Sheff U. should be able to do a job though and you’d expect them to easily win this fixture at this point with or without a bounce.

MID:

Sarr (bou)

New friend. Love it! Love him.

Was kind of popping off on the pod about his stats and stuff since Pearson came in and the eye-test absolutely follows.

Away to Eddie and the Howes come on you Hornets. Come on Sarr.

Maddison (SOU)

I guess he’s fine, we’re lead to believe that he’s fine in the press conferences so let’s go Maddo. Great pick for now.

But I am still thinking about ditching him for GWs 25-27.

Salah (tot)

Mo is great at football. And he loooooooooves playing Spurs.

De Bruyne (avl)

Kev plays his own little private game of Pep Roulette. Will heeee be at center back? Will he be at DM? Will he be at false 9? Will he be the furthest forward #8? No one knows... But City should destroy these and Kev will probably get some points no matter where he’s playing.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (BHA)

Against my keeper whatever doesn’t matter let’s go DCL.

Been high on him since the end of last season through the summer and then they bought Kean and I got rid... But now he’s back and nailed and looking good so I’m back in. Come on DCL tit me.

Vardy (SOU)

It’s funny that people got rid.

Jiménez (NEW)

Still waiting for my first Jimi points but home Newc oh baby it should come this week for suuuureeeeeeee dude.

CAP:

Jiménez (NEW)

Let’s do it.

It’s time.

He only has two double-digit hauls on the season (funny enough both vs. Man City) but I mean come on Newcastle are really really truly terrible and Wolves will want to bounce back after losing to Watford last week.

It’s time. Go on Jim.

#lineup lamentations

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tontontonberry · 7 years ago

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So our goblin-loving asses started a new D&D campaign. This time Vel is the DM! Very exciting! Our lovely cast includes:

Nemeia, tiefling bard, so smol u think she’s 12, big on adopted families, can Vicious Mockery your ass into next week. Palilai, half-elf monk, string bean, full of book learnings, zero practical experience, wants to Know Things, super polite! Miri, elf druid, so fucking done, herbalism kit full of weed, cranky mom friend.

They meet on the road. Nemeia and Palilai immediately decide to travel together, inviting Miri along as well. Miri: these smol cinnamon rolls are going to die someone needs to keep an eye on them, guess it’ll be me.

They get to a walled town on a river called Nightstone. Place is empty as fuck, giant rocks everywhere, church bell ringing like crazy?

They investigate! Goblins are ringing the church bell for funsies. The gals act unthreatening and the goblins share that they got no idea what happened. The town was empty when they got there, so

They take care of some horses, not noticing the goblin frantically hiding in the hayloft until riiiight before they go to sleep for the night. He is Frighten. Nemeia and Palilai try to be reassuring, but he ends up booking it.

They follow him into the inn, only to find a different goblin bleeding out on the floor from a crossbow wound. Nemeia heals her! Her name is Sark and the other goblins hiding in the inn carry her off.

The lady who shot Sark , name of Kella, is hanging out in a room with a rock-hole punched through it and she’s got no idea what happened with the town either. She deigns to stay where she is.

The gals find a villager! She’s nearly dead under rubble, but through the power of emergency first aid and healing magic she is stabilized! Still unconscious, tho.

Some mercenaries Kella was waiting for as an escort arrive. Soon after, some orcs come rushing up! There is a Battle. Palilai almost dies, only to be revived and then kick an orc in the face so that he died. Baby’s First Murder. She has a bit of a breakdown.

The orcs managed to kill one of the mercenaries, and almost kill three others. When the gals find healing potions on the orcs, they promptly give them to the near-dead mercenaries. Their generosity is met with confusion.

After a short rest, Palilai, Nemeia, and a mercenary going by her last name Varcona go out to find some food. Palilai and Nemeia make soup! Varcona is taken aback by how willing they are to make nice things for the rest of them even though they’ve barely met. They search the trading post as well, seeing that the goblins had already gone through it, but! There are two healer’s kits set out with a bloody crossbow bolt laid across them. Sark and company apparently left a thank you! Nemeia is delighted. Varcona is baffled.

Meanwhile, Miri abhors social interaction.

Each of the three gals is paired with a mercenary for watch that night. There is general chatter about where they’re from and where they’re going. None of them really has a set destination in mind. Nemeia is paired with Varcona and ends up gushing about her precocious little brother who she is Very Proud Of. She found him herself! Adopting everyone ever is how her family do. She also shares her family’s determination to be kind in an unkind world.

Morning comes, and the mercenaries made porridge for breakfast! The gals go off to do dishes, which goes surprisingly fast thanks to Nemeia’s Prestidigitation. They come back and are given their bowls, only for Varcona to trip on her own feet and wipe out spectacularly. The bowls are broken and Nemeia gets landed on. Whoops!

After breakfast, they head out to check for any more survivors or supplies, and to try to reach the keep. They find a winged cat! After much coaxing and offering of tasty tidbits, it takes up residence on Nemeia’s shoulder, hidden by her hair.

Periodically, Vel asked us to roll Perception checks. The results were…not great. We noticed nothing.

As we reached the bridge to the keep and started debating how to get across the broken part, Shit Got Real.

Varcona grabbed Kella and held a knife to her throat, demanding that the three gals be allowed to leave immediately! Said gals are Confused and Concerned. Miri demands answers. Varcona says that they’d tried to poison them that morning with the porridge! The mercenary leader, Xolkin, tries to talk Varcona down, telling her to not throw everything away for nothing, to think about what she’s doing! He even calls her by her first name, Keth.

Nemeia, deciding that she trusts Keth over the other mercenaries, pulls out her rapier and casts Dissonant Whispers on Xolkin, though he succeeds on his saving throw and doesn’t feel the need to run. Miri storms up to Xolkin and gives him five seconds to explain what’s going on. Two mercenaries try to shoot Palilai, only for her to catch the bolts in her hands and break them. Two others take swipes at Miri, one of them managing to hit her. Nemeia is underestimated and not aimed at.

Perception checks continue to be called for. We continue to notice nothing.

Kella rolls a natural 20 on an attempt to stab herself free of Keth. Nemeia’s Cutting Words keeps the damage from being too dire, but Kella is no longer a meat shield and Keth is bleeding freely. Xolkin goes to strike Miri when suddenly -

ZWING

- a crossbow bolt strikes him in the wrist! From hiding, fourteen goblins appear! Prominently placed is Sark, crossbow held in front of her.

“I missed.” She says, and fires again. Kella gets hit in the shoulder. Revenge!

The goblins declare this town is theirs and the mercenaries should gtfo before they get pincushioned. There is a tense moment as Xolkin weighs the odds, and then they make a break for it, leaving behind their horses and most of their gear.

Sark and company are, quite deservedly, pleased with themselves. Turns out they never actually left town. They snuck around, rolling well on stealth as we rolled poorly on perception, eavesdropping on the mercenaries and their plans, and when the time came they came onto the scene like Big Damn Heroes.

Nemeia rushes to Keth’s side and heals her. Miri still wants to know What The Fuck is Happening. Also Nice One, Goblins. Goblins preen at her praise.

Keth, somewhat in shock and being aggressively cuddled by Nemeia, explains that the mercenary group was actually members of the Zhentarim. Nemeia has never fucking heard of them. Palilai knows that their public face is of an elite mercenary company. Keth explains that they are Shady As Fuck. They do the Murder and Stealing Thing. And in order to be able to spin whatever story they wanted about what happened in the town, the three gals had to be gotten rid of. Also they stan the goblins (the usual ideal scapegoat) and that was inconvenient.

Keth, now having nowhere to go, is Shaken. Nemeia promptly insists that she stay with them. And later she can introduce her to her family! Palilai is also very earnestly welcoming. Miri is welcoming in a standoffish way. Keth is Moved. Miri wants to know why she decided to side with them over the Zhentarim. It can’t just be because they were nice. Keth says there was a reason, but she doesn’t feel up to explaining it right at that moment. Miri finds this acceptable.

Now that they have added Keth to their party, they decide to investigate the keep. The goblins help them cobble together a ramp over the broken bridge, and that’s where we had to call it a night!

Vel offered us some juicy insights as we were packing up.

The goblins literally never left. They hung out on the side of town we weren’t on and Sark and co informed the others about the cinnamon rolls and their standoffish chaperone. And they also eavesdropped on the Zhentarim guys’ plans for offing the three gals. They rolled Really Well on stealth and even as the difficulty class for noticing them kept dropping, we just kept rolling shittier on perception. WE WERE IN A REALLY INTENSE AND DISTRACTING SITUATION, OKAY.

If Xolkin had been able to talk Keth down from holding Kella at knifepoint, he would have told her that it’s okay, she’s still part of their group. She just needs to off those three right now to prove they can trust her. Oh, and they can undo the bandages on the unconscious villager and let her bleed out. : )

Every time the Zhentarim (other than Keth) struck up conversation with a gal about her family or what weapons she liked or where she was going? Gathering intel to make fighting them easier and also making sure that no one would notice them going missing. : )

Keth didn’t hear about the poisoning plan until after she’d been on watch with Nemeia and she was like what the FUCK.

Keth deciding to help them instead of letting them get killed was, yes, in part because Nemeia and Palilai were so nice to her. But it was also because they were nice even when it wasn’t easy. It was because of Nemeia having a whole family of people who chose to be kind and hadn’t been killed off young. She wanted to believe that kindness could exist in this world without being snuffed out. KETH MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. PROTECT HER.

The Zhentarim attacked Palilai and Miri first because Miri struck them as dangerous and they’d seen Palilai kill a man. Also the only person to hear Nemeia describe Vicious Mockery as “I can boil someone’s blood by insulting them :D” was Keth. Nemeia is perpetually underestimated because she is so smol and floof.

Nemeia has fucking adopted Keth I don’t make the rules.

Nemeia: She has had a hard life! She had to be so brave to help us! She needs gentleness! She needs to be protected! (ง •̀_•́)ง

#dungeons and dragons #long post #christine post #storm king's thunder #pizza valkyries

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hdawg1995 · 8 years ago

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DnD Antics: “Man up and be a farther, ZACK!”

before rebegin Ryan (frost crystal) changed his name to Sam recently so if you’ve been following our antics for a while know that Frost Crystal is played by Sam. carry on~

we leave the earthen sanctum as it is collapsing. Envoy’s wing is crippled and the Monk tried to save her but got his arm smashed by falling rocks. the everything is crumbling and our witcher almost dies so many times!

DM: roll reflex. elizander: *rolls* DM: okay you trip but flow into a summer salt so you’re still running. elizander: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

everyone gets out BUT Zack!

me: Bardic knowledge! DM: you sense that someone is in trouble. me: I cast fish face folly! DM: odds or evens? me: eeevens? ryan: Odds just to be evil. me: *rolls 17* ryan: ODDS! DM: you cast FishFace’s folly. there is now a moose standing before you. Envoy: *silently screaming* DM: hes eating walnuts. he was gonna get attacked by a bear. me: oh okay. i roll to pet the moose. Envoy: *nat20* me: OF COURSE SHE WOULD! Ryan: this is envoy’s attention span: we are in danger! save the frie- OMG A MOOOSE!

there is now a moose named Oscar that hangs around the pokeball.

*WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO SAVE ZACK. ITS GONNA GET GRAPHIC PRETTY FAST.*

Zack was in the mouth of the cave but it was collapsing. Tim was rolling horribly and fishface folly was our best bet but it failed so we went with the ranger’s idea: a arrow with a rope tied to it. the original plan was to shot the arrow and hit a leg or something fleshy so it wouldn’t be so bad and would be easier to heal. unfortunately Tim wanted to try and grab the arrow with his good hand. im pretty sure you know where this is going.... the reflex wasn’t high enough so the arrow shoots threw Zacks hand- and into his and out his elbow. his bone is splintered in the process but he can still grab firmly onto the rope. Spine (in his sadistic glee) helps Valekimin pull on the rope to get Zack out of the still collapsing cave. hes at 5 health and is confirmed for worst rope burn/road rash in the history of ever. it was taking too long how ever and Zack was bleeding out, so the ranger has her bear yank on the rope. this cause the arrow to go half way back into Zack’s arm. once hes out the ranger (in a very bad case of miss wording) yanks the rope and arrow out of his arm, knocking him out. the necromancer boops him on the nose to give him 10 false life but he goes out again when we do the math for the rope burn ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ARM and the bleeding hes doing so the necromancer heals him again. why am i including this you ask?

lindsy: i give the bloody, gory bits of the rope to Rose. Rose: *takes the rope. licks it.* Spine:....do you like it??? Rose: >_>.....>u>....*starts pealing the gore off very slowly* Tim: *horrified into going unconscious AGAIN.*

*OKAY YOU’RE GOOD!*

we all go running off in our own ways to avoid a land slide (Envoy Nazul and Zack are in the pokeball, Spine blink daggers away, Vale flies with her companions, Frost Crystal plan shifts and Elizander....)

DM: roll reflex. coolie: *rolls* DM: you land on your hands and spring into several back flips before righting yourself. you keep running. elizander: FUCK YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSS! (we actidently left him behind....>_>)

so alicaria goes to the plan where all the deitys are and finds no one there so she goes back to the normal plain HOW EVER....

Vale and Spine try to tree teleport and end up in Frank’s forest.

vale: *casts speak with plants* Frank? hello? Frank: Sup bruh? Ryan: *facepalm* hes a teenager now....

Vale has to go kill a evil yant to prove her worth to her qticotal and spine goes with to watch.

*vale and evil radio active yant fighting* Ryan: is there such thing a necrotic popcorn?

Alicaria brings everyone to the steam punk gnome village. its very bad. Envoy wants to stay and help but she needs to go visit Frank and do some things so they tree-port there. once there, Envoy does a song and dance of prayer to the moose asking for advice. she is told to return to the gnome city and help the people there, and that there is a meeting with all the deities at the moment.

Envoy: okay. i’m going to get some wood for a personal project and then head back to cogsworth! me: *nat 1 on finding some wood* Envoy: *picks up stick* this should be enough! Elizander: Envoy that stick isn’t enough for what ever project you’re doing. Envoy: and how would YOU know me I-Don’t-Have-WoodWorking? elizander: what are you making...? Envoy: rings. elizander: that stick would make 1/3 of a ring, Envoy....

Elizander and alicaria look for a log for Envoy and Alicaria nat 1s.

DM: you turn into a tree. you are comfortable as a tree. its very nice. Envoy: *flies up and sits in the Alicaria tree* Issac shelab and the griffion: *same* Elizander: come on alicaria! we need to go! Envoy: you ARE my only way of getting back to the steam punk city... Sam:.....im a tree :D Alicaria: *cats vines. lifts elizander up* coolie: PUT ME DOWN! Sam: IM A TREE MOTHER FUCKER! :D

evenutally Envoy (who can’t fly, is too far away to ride the yak or teleport) decides to ask Frank the blue flying moose tree for some help.

Frank: sup bruh. Envoy: Sup man. Frank: wut ya need? Envoy: my ride is kinda tree right now. shes chillin so i ain’t gonna throw off her grove, but i promised the BFM id help out at cogworth. any ideas on how to get me there? Frank: nah bruh...sorry. Envoy: thats alright homie *pat the tree* Frank: wait. hang on i have an idea. *summons tree spirit* yo homes help her out. Spirit: why doesn’t she just fly? Envoy: this ones broken *pats wing* Spirit: *fixes it* eh... still got a job to do.

the spirit lifts Envoy high into the air and we all think shes gonna get thrown. she gets planted into the ground instead and she is sent flying through roots in the ground. still fun!

DM: you stop. everything is dark. Envoy: *remembering everything Spine taught her about being buried alive, she takes some dirt and drops it to find where ‘up’ is* (this is funny cause it took Spine 12 tries to figure out what direction UP was when he too was shot underground and was trying to dig out)

Envoy pops out of the ground and, with no best friend necromancers to hurt with her ultra awesome flute that heals people, she spends the next 24 hours healing wounds and lifting spirits with her music. mean while...

Envoy: eli- elizander: Envoy. Envoy: i can’t get her to let you go- Elixander: EN-Voooy. Envoy: and i promised the blue flying moose i would help- Elizander: EN. VOY. Envoy: IGattaGoImSorryBye Elizander: DONT LEAVE ME HERE ENVOY! *envoy gets planted* Elizander: ENVOY!....ENVOY DONT LEAVE!....EEENNNVVVOOOYY! Alicaria: do you want up? Elizander: fuck you do you want to play chess???

Elizander plays chess and alicaria is a shore loser. she puts him on frank.

eventually Zack comes out the pokeball with the yak and he tries to help Eliznder but drops him. Eli hangs upside down thanks to the vines alicaria cast to catch him and the Yak boops him about with her snout before eating the vines.

Elizander: i want to go home... Shiba: *bumps the witcher* Elizander: oh? you... you want me to get on? okay. *gets on the yak* are you gonna take me to Cogsworth or- Shiba: *starts to buck him around, rodeo style. this is how she has fun*

Vale kills the thing and Spine takes the remains into his necropolis so he has a new friend.

when we FINALLY get everyone back together, Envoy has a surprise for everyone! While healing the gnomes non stop and keeping spirits high, the gnomes gave her the title “The Healer” (she gets a +10 to heal checks now) and as a thanks for her work, they gave her a air ship.

Tim: so wait- me: I HAVE A AIR SHIP YALL! WOOT WOOT! Ryan: wait JUST her??? DM: YES JUST HER! shes the only one that was helping the city. its HERS.

the wrecking crew has a air ship now. its piloted by flick!

Envoy got some wood along the way and after we fix Zack and stuff and blah im getting tired LETS GET TO THAT TITLE, SHALL WE?

so while Nazul was a baby, Zack decided to be his dad since Slyvia was bent on being his mom. adopting the assassin was pretty nice, and Zack even continued to refier to Nazul as his son when we fixed him. (this is hella sweet cause Nazul never had a mom or dad so this is like major awesome for him).

so what does our grateful neutral evil Assassin ghost boy do? WHY GO BACK TO THE DWARTH CITY AND BUY DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH ZACK’S MONEY AND NAME!

he gets caught at first. Drawth: arn’t you that prick that stole everyone’s money while the trolls were attacking? Nazul: are you sure it wasn’t the TROLLS who stole your money? DM: Roll Bluff. Nazul: *Nat 20 cause when DOESNT this group get nat 20s???* Drawth: YOU’RE RIGHT! DAMN TROLLS!

he gets up to alot of mischief. he also turns all the dwarths racist towards gnomes. eventually he gets caught caught and is sent to the king.

King: you bought the town ale with your farther’s money, sent the lot into a drunkin rampage resulting in many citizens breaking into the royal whine cellar, you cheated two times in the pits- Nazul: i was having too much fun. (he killed a orger, a 4 armed gorllia, and a lizard person. he broke the rules cause his rune brought him back to life 2 times) king: -and all this in your farther’s name. how do you think he will react to this? king: *teleports Zack there* this your son?

the result is Zack owes the drawths 100,000,000 gold OR he can return the cane algres stole from them.

and at the moment hes buying cheese for master spliter so he can be level 20 with the rest of us.

SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

#DnD #antics #dungeons and dragons #the wrecking crew

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kyetalksshit · 8 years ago

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Update for the first time in SO LONG

Hey guys!

So it’s the 4th of july and I’m tipsy. Happy shitty ass holiday to all of u who care about it. I don’t. Fireworks are boring and sound like gunshots and loud ass cis white republican christian people get louder than usual about how “great” this country “used to be,” and get to celebrate the day this country was founded on native american genocide and rape and began an era of slavery and racism and a bunch of other motherfucking goddamn bullshit.

Anyway.

I told a storytime on my youtube channel about my ex who I called Gregg (bc he looks like Gregg Sulkin, or at least I thought he did back then. It’s actually a two parter so far. I have yet to get to the part where he dumped me over text and then tried to be friends with benefits with me, I refused, I tried, he refused, we fought a lot, repeat cycle. Wow that was a fucking shitstorm. Finally unfriended him a couple of months ago because of a shitty ass facebook post and I just didn’t have the energy anymore. Plus, he has a girlfriend now, and at this point any desire to communicate with him was based on a pure physical attraction and/or wanting to have some sort of intellectual conversation with him because, as much as I honestly still kind of resent him, I do admire his brain. Anyway.)

So when I told the storytime, I spent a good hour going through my tumblr for posts about him (and his, for posts about me, which I remember desperately hoping for back when I was still with him or right after we broke up) and it kind of made me miss blogging.

This has been the longest intro in the fucking world. Oh my god. Ugh.

Anyway.

I just kind of wanted to get on here and talk a little bit.

I don’t remember what my original pushing thought was, since again, I’m tipsy, and I got so sidetracked talking about “gregg” (though let’s be real, if any of you watch that storytime and have followed me for long enough, you know exactly who I’m talking about. He doesn’t even follow me on tumblr anymore. He unfollowed me a long time ago, actually. And now that I’m talking so much about him I’m kind of tempted to text him, which would obviously be a fucking bad idea, but you know. I’m a masochist. We’ll see what I do later I guess. I don’t know.)

I’m kind of miffed today. And by that, I mean I’m actually hurt but too prideful to say I’m hurt. My family is very clearly celebrating for this shit holiday, which they don’t know that I don’t care about, by the way, and no one even invited me. Yeah I was working most of the day but I got off at 8, and anyway I hadn’t told them I was working. My mother probably just “assumed I had to work and couldn’t make it” again. Even though she promised to make more of an effort to invite me to things. My heart hurts.

Yeah I don’t care about fireworks, but I love my family and I miss my niece and my sister isn’t talking to me because apparently I’ve changed and she misses “Amber,” not “Kye.” (Oh yeah, I go by Kye now. Just, btw.)

What she doesn’t seem to realize no matter how many times I tell her, is that Amber, that girl she grew up with that she apparently misses so goddamn much, she doesn’t exist anymore. She was a fucked up piece of shit too, if I’m being honest. I call my past self Amber instead of “past Kye” because I don’t know her anymore. You know why?

Because I’ve been through so much motherfucking goddamn bullshit since then. I was raped. I left my family for a goddamn year over some slightly shitty but WAY overexaggerated bullshit (that, let’s be real, I’ll never fully forgive myself for) that was twisted into a horror story by the evil ex whose name I can’t even fucking SAY because it makes me feel fucking nauseous. I almost killed myself a couple of times. I cut over and over and motherfucking over again because I was so goddamn depressed, I got kicked out of TWO apartments (once because my roommate was just a bitch and wanted any made up excuse she could find, the other because my alcoholic roommate who sexually assaulted me MY FIRST NIGHT THERE and who is STILL my dm for one of my dnd games and tries to pretend he fucking cares about me, hallucinated our neighbors trying to kill us and made me take him to the hospital and file a police report when it was just his goddamn mind). I’ve been so broke for the past couple years I was a camgirl for awhile. I did live camshows for money. I also sold photos and videos of me naked, sometimes taking requests. It made me fucking miserable and gave me flashbacks but I was jobless and had to pay rent. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been considering starting again because I’m broke as fuck and I want to cry from how stressed I am most of the time, but I haven’t yet. You know why?

Again, I was raped. And sexually assaulted, not just by that roommate, but also by two family members (like when I was a kid) who will remain unnamed (who never even said I’m sorry, by the way, even when I brought it up. I still hang out with one. How fucking sick do I have to be to still hang out with a family member who sexually assaulted me and apologized to my sister for touching her, but not me?). But also because I’ve been in this deep disgusting ass pit of self fucking loathing recently. I feel fat and ugly and nasty more often than not, every time I get a crush or a lust-crush on someone I start to feel guilty about it because how dare I burden someone with the weight of having to deal with my affection? I feel lonely and also selfish for feeling lonely, I miss my family but I also avoid them. And then I get upset when they don’t invite me to things.

This is the last holiday I’m ever going to spend living in North Carolina. Connor and I are leaving for Los Angeles on August fucking 5th. I’ll be around for my brother’s and my cat’s birthday (incidentally they’re both on August 2nd), but then I’m gone. I won’t be able to make it to Christmas this year because let’s face it, I won’t have the money. The soonest they’re going to see me after I leave is MAYBE Christmas 2018, and I’m not even sure that’s going to happen. Hell, I’m not even christian anymore, celebrating it feels weird.

Also, going back to this whole name shit and “I’ve changed” bullshit, Amber was an asshole. She made racist comments and used to say the “n” word back in high school. She literally laughed in boys’ faces when they asked her out if she wasn’t attracted to them, not even just because they were “out of her league” because she (rightfully) didn’t believe in “leagues,” but just because if she was going to say no, she was going to be a bitch about it. I remember one of my best friends’ little brothers asking me out in 9th grade, and he was in like 7th. He was OBVIOUSLY too young for me but I should have been fucking nice about it. Instead, I laughed at him, literally fucking laughed at him, and just said “omg bye.”

She also didn’t know how to stand up for herself. She was mousy and depressed and anxious and small and hated herself and so who gave a fuck if people used her because what good was she herself anyway? Like yeah, Kye is fatter and her mental health has gone down the fucking drain (no really, my counselor thinks I’m borderline and I really need to be medicated honestly because it’s so hard to function I’m scared I’m going to fail at trying to be alive) but at least she can mostly say no, and she can cut people out her life when she wants to. At least Kye can pinpoint when people are trying to manipulate her (though if we’re being honest here, and holy fuck we really are, since the fucking evil ex aka my rapist, my mind is warped as fucking hell and I don’t know what’s real anymore. The amount of manipulation I have imagined and overreacted to is insane. My uncle wallace won’t talk to me because I overreacted when he had a shitty opinion and posted it on a status of mine, and I took it as him attacking me. I want to cry every time I think about it but I already sent him one long message explaining why, and then the next day I sent a really long apology message. I don’t know why I keep fucking things up with everyone I care about. It feels like Connor and my cat are the only ones I have anymore, and even Connor can drive me crazy sometimes because obviously, that’s how people are who live together and have known each other for 8 fucking years, and I’m so hard to live with and deal with because of the bpd and the fact that my anxiety shows itself in irritability and the amount of times I’ve snapped at them for fucking nothing is absolutely ridiculous. I’m mad that they still haven’t learned how to drive and we’re moving in a month and it’s looking like I’m going to have to drive by myself from one coast to another while they blissfully chill in the passenger seat and doze off or play on their phone or whatever, but in reality they’re probably really anxious about it too and they probably feel bad but can’t make theirself do it and it’s just I feel so shitty all the time oh my god).

I don’t even know what the point of this post is, I just think I needed to vent somewhere that I don’t have to be careful what I say because no one reads this shit anyway. The second I vent where ANYONE in my family can see it, they’ll all jump down my throat for being “disrespectful to my parents” or some other bullshit. They fucking love bandwagons. One of their favorite phrases is “my army is bigger” and honestly that shit scares me because yeah, it is. And that goddamn army is too fucking prideful (like me) to accept when they maybe should hear someone out, and they will literally cyberbully you if they can. It may sound whiny, but I really do feel like I was cyberbullied that day with uncle wallace. I’m not even kidding (and again, no one reads this so I don’t feel bad saying this because it’s tru) I legitimately wanted to kill myself that day. Everyone was jumping down my throat AGAIN over something I said that hurt my mom when I didn’t even know it hurt her. If I had, I would have taken it down and apologized. They were also attacking me for an immature snapchat saying “fuck you and your shitty ass opinions” which was about my uncle, and yeah I deserved a little of that bullshit but I admitted that was wrong very shortly after. He wouldn’t even hear me out, but I was the bad guy, the disrespectful, ignorant black sheep who treated everyone like shit. I keep trying to pretend I’m over the whole thing but I’m so not. I won’t forget who said shit to me and who didn’t. Because that shit fucking hurt.

I don’t want to tell Connor how mad I am over something they may not be able to control, I don’t want to fucking rub my sister’s face in how ‘not’ Amber I am (also, just, sidenote, the main reason I changed my is really because I hated Amber and wanted some control over my life and it really has made me happier, but also honestly it was partly because my fucking rapist has never called me “Kye” and so when I’m having fucking rape flashbacks I can separate myself from it so when she insists that Kye is horrible and she hates me now (she didn’t say that but she said I wouldn’t be in her life if I weren’t family and let’s face it, I’m not in her life rn anyway and I may as well not be family with how I’ve been treated recently, not that it’s not partly my fault, but still) and that she misses Amber, who she grew up with, who is the one she misses, not me, not who I am now. Honestly, when we were fighting it felt like she only said that because she needed a concrete reason to be mad at me so she grasped onto the fact that I’ve changed, which my whole family complains about, but

Look at all the motherfucking goddamn fucked up shit I’ve been through in the past few years. OF FUCKING COURSE I’VE CHANGED. It hurts like hell that my ENTIRE family is mad that I’m not the same girl who left them for an abusive fiance. Like yes, I’m kind of a bitch now when I need to be, and yes I overreact to things BECAUSE I’VE BEEN THROUGH TRAUMA U DON’T JUST FUCKING GET OVER THAT, and yes I changed my name and I’m not the motherfucking goddamn same but how dare you want me to be?

I WANTED TO DIE. EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. I HAVE NEVER HATED MYSELF AS MUCH AS I DID THEN. I HAD TWO EATING DISORDERS, AN ADDICTION TO CUTTING (for which I’m now getting urges so I’m going to end this soon), I HATED EVERYONE I KNEW, I WAS FUCKING SO DEPRESSED I COULDN’T EVEN, UGH, I WAS ONLY SLEEPING ONCE EVERY TWO NIGHTS SO I WAS HALLUCINATING, I PUSHED AWAY EVERYONE WHO EVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME, I SNAPPED AT EVERYONE WHO WAS NEAR ME WHEN I WAS ANXIOUS AND I DIDN’T KNOW MY TRIGGERS. NOW I CAN AT LEAST SEPARATE MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION SO I DON’T HURT PEOPLE AS MUCH. I DON’T TALK ABOUT THE VIEWS I HAVE THAT CONFLICT WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S SO I DON’T HAVE TO ARGUE WITH ANYONE. I HAVE MADE MYSELF SMALL, THEN MADE MYSELF BIG, AND REVERT TO SMALL WHEN I’M AROUND THEM, BUT IT’S STILL NOT FUCKING ENOUGH FOR THEM.

WHEN, please fucking tell me WHEN, when will I be enough for them?

#angst #family #drama #blogging #update #happy fourth #fourth of july #independence day #trauma #survivor #venting

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cytaoplasm · 8 years ago

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i'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time right now :( and don't worry about ranting on tumblr it's your blog and we're always here to listen. things maybe shitty right now but i promise they'll get better you always have us to rely on :)

You’re supposed to pay for everything you list on the form.Hello anon. Thank you for taking your time sending me this message. I’m just afraid that people might take a screenshot of my rant and send it to the person I am upset about. I don’t like starting beef with people (even if they’re shitty) but yeah thanks for that. I hope it will be better soon because I feel really upset right now and I’m trying very hard to be positive. I will rant below so keep reading. Please do not attack the person or trying to find them. I’m not trying to start beef with this person. I just want to get this off my chest not starting a drama. If you cared for my mental being please do not DO NOT screenshot this and send this to other people.

So yesterday, I saw one of the group order person opened a korean good form. so I decided to buy a pair of contact lense that i cant get in the US along with a SM COEX exo keychain for my friend who is moving away soon. Since this is my first time group ordering with this person and I don’t know the expectation that well so I got worried about item and thought about how OP’s sister who is traveling to Korea for vacation (which is why they opened a GO) might not be able to find it so I put down an etude house palette as an alternative option and said that in case if it’s a disconveinet for them to find the lense they can just get this palette for me which can easily find in korean road shop

My order:

Lensme Cocktail Hologram Kalua Milk 1+2 event (Please get Peach Crush + Blue Hawaii if they allow you to choose)

http://lens-me.com/product/detail.html?product_no=917&cate_no=82&display_group=1#prdDetail

Lenseme

Power: L- 4.5 R - 4.00

20,000 ($17.69 USD)

but if the lenseme shop is kinda far away from you and there’s an olense store nearby or something:

Olense Russian Velvet Gray http://www.o-lens.com/product/search.html?banner_action=&keyword=%EB%9F%AC%EC%8B%9C%EC%95%88%EB%B2%A8%EB%B2%B3

Olense

Power: 0

20,000 ($17.69 USD)

If you can’t find the lense please get me this instead:

Etude House Personal Color Palette Warm Tone http://www.etude.co.kr/product.do?method=view&prdCd=101001241 Etude House

35,000 ($30.95 USD)

Other orders beside the lense:

EXO Lightstick White Chanyeol Key Chain https://detail.tmall.hk/hk/item.htm?spm=a1z10.15-b.w4011-14804704346.51.q16QAx&id=544589047475&rn=05a7455bb212062bbc9c6b5c4678b91b

94.00 Yuan ($13.68)

SM SUM

Please note that I am trying to make both side: myself and them happy. I don’t want to cause a hassle for them but I also want to get stuff from Korea myself which is why I put down an alternative option. She doesn’t have to get it. If she can find the lense, that’s great If she can’t find it, she can stop by an Etude House road shop which is all over the place in Korea and get the palette for me.

However, the problem is that the palette is $30.95, so I was wondering if I have to pay for that too so I send her an Ask:

“Hey so I just send u the payment and stuff immediately right after the order. On the form I ordered a pair of contact lense & a keychain from Coex but I put an alternative option in case they can’t find it. Do I also have to pay for that option before or can I do it after they confirm they cant ?“

and this is why she told me ( I copied and paste the reply)

“You’re supposed to pay for everything you list on the form.”

The way she replied was very cold and it didn’t answer my question. The palette is not my primary choice. She can chose not to buy it. So I asked her again.

“Ok so I’m gonna send you the payment for the alternative option. I just want to confirm this again (sorry for being annoying) but you will refund me back that money after your sister’s back right? Thank you for your patience I really appreciate it”

and her replies:

“If she can’t find the goods, your payment will be refunded.”

She still didn’t answer my question clearly. Maybe I guess I’m just slow. IDk you make the judgement.

The thing is I want to get some goods from korea and i dont want them to go through the process of refunding my money u know so I thought it would better to just keep it and spend it on the alternative option which can easily be found in road shop. That way both side will be happy.

I was actually thinking about sending them an extra $13.26 so that even if she cant find the lense she still have $17 smth (money that i gave her for the lense) and she can use that extra money + the money for the lense to buy it so I messaged a friend of mine who is in the NA EXO G.O who I thought might have her line ID but it turned out to be the wrong person. So yeah then, I found out she refunded my order and send me this email:

“I cancelled your order and refunded you your payment. My sister isn’t a personal shopper to be on the lookout for alternatives for you as the point of her getting items for people are if you are 100% sure you want that good. If you list the item in your form, you pay for it and if she can’t find it, your payment is refunded. There are no alternatives as she doesn’t have time to be catering to just your order. She’s going on vacation and will not be spending her whole time for just you.You also asked if there will be a fee for domestic, then said you live in Dallas, Texas? I only do meet-ups in Houston, so of course there will be a fee for me to send you your goods.Also, my orders don’t have anything to do with Chen USA Union. I run both, but they are separate entities. Different rules apply.”

Also I forgot to mention, since her form didn’t said anything about paying domestic fee so I asked. I didn’t know if I have to pay for domestic shipping fee since we’re in the same state. I did shopping on eBay and a lot of sellers who is in the same state do free shipping so I was just curious.

Secondly she said "They will also take special requests yet do not guarantee that they will be able to find them.“ She did not said we’re not your personal shopper and we do not have time to take special request. She said on the form, she said they WILL ALSO TAKE SPECIAL REQUEST.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT????? I CANT READ HER MIND OR WHAT SHE WANT. PLYS ETUDE HOUSE ROAD SHOP IS ALL OVER THE PLACE IN SEOUL. IF SHE HAVE TIME TO BUY MY STUFF THAT’S GREAT IF SHE DOESN’T THAT FINE TOO. I DON’T MIND.

BUt out of courtesy I send her an apology email. Even though I personally think I did nothing wrong.

“I apologize for my actions. I did not know that what I was doing was wrong. This is my first group order so I just wanted to clarify and follow the rules correctly and send in my payment, so everything would work out and not becoming a huge mess. I don’t have the knowledge about the obvious reason of paying domestic fee since again, this is my first time doing something like this. I have looked at all of the information and read everything closely in the form. I did not know that putting in an alternative option would offend you. I was simply trying to be specific like what you said on the form so you didn’t have to email me about different concerns. So I apologize for that along with my foolishness and lack of thought when ordering from you. It was my inexperience with group ordering and group order expectations from you that caused you and your sister some inconveniences. I am not sure if I am in your blacklist or not but if your sister is willing to take my order to buy the lenses from Lensme and an EXO COEX good that please let me know. I will resend my payment to you. I am very willing to pay for the domestic fee as well. But if you and your sister are not willing to, I understand and I wish you the best and I also wish your sister to enjoy her vacation. If she has the time, I would definitely recommend her to go to this cute sheep cafe called Thanks Nature Cafe. I don’t remember the address but I think it’s in Hongdae. You can go search it up! My cousin went there during her vacation early this year and said it was really nice. Thank you and have a nice day.”

IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT I CAN’T READ HER MIND. I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER OR THIS KIND OF STUFF.

I READ THE FORM AND IT WAS SO UNCLEAR. ALL THE INFORMATION SHE TOLD ME WAS NOT IN THE FORM. EVEN BETTER YET, SHE INDIRECTLY SHADEH ME ON TWITTER. SHE DOESN’T EVEN BOTHER TO REPLY TO MY EMAIL TOO.

SHE DIDN’T EVEN LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF AND FUCKING SHUT ME DOWN.

*took a deep breath* I put the options as a good gesture. I honestly don’t know why is she getting triggered by my actions. Can she just inform me in a nice way? Instead of criticizing me and make me look like a shitty person? I have never missed my payment nor back out an order. I was just simply trying to follow directions and trying to clarify some information because it’s my responsibility to know what I’m getting into and not causing trouble for other people. I do not understand why this person is mad.

So yeah. Don’t do group order, guys. They take a long time and group order master always sounds like they’re moody 24/7. If you tripped up once, they will kill you. I get that their job is stressful but do they feel the need to take it on an innocent person who just simply trying to abide by the rule ?

DM if you want screenshot and links and actual proof. I didn’t make up any of this. I have never lied once in my life. If I’m upset there’s a reason why. I don’t get upset by things easily but when I do it’s serious.

#message #rant #Anonymous

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