#understanding her patterns of behavior and knowing that if she thought it was actually your fault she would Absolutely say so

[pocketgalaxies]

cannot imagine being caleb widogast btw and having such a fixed view of yourself as this irredeemable monstrous man who wishes for nothing more than to atone for the unatonable while also questioning whether you even deserve to live long enough to do so and then befriending this girl who is notorious for never sparing anyone's feelings when she has something to say and has, since you've known her, intentionally rebuilt herself from the ground up into someone who is real and direct and honest even when it hurts, and for her to lean forward and look into your eyes and say, with a magnitude of brutal honesty that only she could muster, that it Wasn't Your Fault.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Jan behind the cut; “project sidekick”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Superboy continues to not feel like “Conner” but figures–that's probably fine right now, he figures. He shouldn't be thinking of Aqualad and Kid Flash and Robin by anything but their field names either–not that he's ever known another one for Robin, and not that “Superboy” has ever felt like just his field name, but still–and they won't be expecting him to be any different from . . . well, from the stupid, easily-influenced weapon that'd gotten them captured and cloned and contained like that. 

They are definitely not going to be happy about that. 

Maybe asking to see them at all was a mistake, he thinks, but . . . 

But they'd wanted to save him. Wanted to save him badly enough that it'd carried over to whole new bodies and whole new people. Wanted to be–his friends that badly, he thinks. Or at least to be on the same side together. So he at least owes them for that much, even if he didn't already need to apologize either way. At least owes them for everything that his brothers have been and done and . . . 

Even if these brothers might not think of themselves as his brothers, and might be just as upset with him as their genetic templates must be. Even if–

Project Kr–the Superboy–Superboy, who isn’t Conner–got to feel what it was like to have people like that in his corner, and who trusted him to be in theirs. Even if just for a little while, before they’d all found out just how bad he'd fucked everything up. He still . . . he got to feel it, for a little while. 

Even though he hadn't deserved it, after what he'd done. Probably hadn’t deserved it to begin with, considering. But they’d made him feel like they’d thought he had, and that was one of the first real things he’d ever felt. 

So he at least owes them for that much, even without any of the rest of it. 

“If they don’t respond well to this conversation, that’s not your fault,” Black Canary says as they walk down a hallway somewhere together, and sounds like she really believes it. Superboy doesn’t know where they actually are, just that a zeta was involved. Some League base or bunker, he guesses. 

Black Canary looks like she wants him to answer her, but Superboy just . . . shrugs. He doesn’t really know what else to do, when she’s lying to him. 

It’s . . . nice of her, he guesses. Trying to make him think that’s actually true, he means. Which–she does that a lot in sessions too. Just . . . lies to him like that. Nicely. A lot more nicely than Desmond ever did. 

He doesn’t know if Black Canary is trying to keep him from overreacting when this goes badly or if she’s just pitying him or whatever, but he’s not stupid. He knows things. He doesn’t really know people, but he can follow basic logic; learn what to expect from a pattern of behavior. 

Anyway, if Aqualad and Kid Flash and Robin reject him, at least he’s going to understand why. 

And if he feels hurt or upset about that, well–at least he knows he earned it, this time. At least he’ll know he deserves it, instead of just . . . not knowing anything. Not being told what he . . . did, or didn’t do, or what was even so wrong with him. 

This time Superboy knows exactly what he did and didn’t do, and exactly what’s wrong with him. 

“It really isn’t, Conner,” Black Canary says gently. Superboy wonders what her civilian name is. Wonders if it feels more real to her than “Black Canary” does. It must, right? She probably knew it was her name since before she can even remember. The same way he knew he was Project Kr, and the Superboy, and . . . 

He knew all that from the moment there was ever a thought in his head at all, remembered or not. And “Black Canary”–she got to pick that one, at least, but “Conner” was really just . . . an afterthought, he knows. Not a name that mattered, except to fill in enough of a civilian identity to go to high school. “Conner” was just something M’gann liked the sound of, and he didn’t actually know Kent Nelson. Definitely didn’t know him well enough to be using his name. 

No one ever offered him one that did matter, though, so it’s . . . whatever, he guesses. “Souvenir!”, Wally–or, not Wally, but one of his brothers, anyway–would say. 

He guesses, anyway. 

“I know,” he lies, because that’s obviously the answer she wants and he wants–well, he wants to see Aqualad and Kid Flash and Robin. Wants to apologize to Aqualad and Kid Flash and Robin, mostly, but they’re not unrelated things. 

He should thank them, too, but they’d probably be a lot likelier to hate him if he did that right now. 

[leighsartworks216]

Self-Destruction

Zayne x gn!Reader

Based on my actual teacher and when I used to sh when I got angry. Please please don't read if you think this could trigger you <333

Warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, anger, implied/referenced self-harm, self-destructive behavior/tendencies, no real ending

Word Count: 731

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First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

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It takes every ounce of self-restraint you have left in your body not to slam the door shut behind you. It doesn't matter, in any case, because the second the door is closed, everything bursts out of you.

You toss your bag to the floor with an angry groan. Tears burn your eyes. You can feel your lungs shaking with the effort it takes to try breathing normally. It feels awful. You wish this feeling would just go away, but it doesn't. It burrows deeper and deeper into your body, tearing through muscle and bone. You wish you could claw it out. The best you can do is bury your face in your hands and will away the rising need to break something.

"Love?"

Fuck, of course Zayne's home right now. You forgot he was taking a half-day, working at the hospital in the morning and finishing the rest of his work from home.

"What happened?" he asks with that gentle sort of urgency. "Where's your painting?"

Ugh, that fucking painting! "I threw it away," you grit out.

His footsteps are too loud as he approaches you, quicker than his usual steps. He grabs your hands, urging them away from your face. "Why?"

You feel hysterical as the emotions pour out of you. He interlaces your fingers together, holding your hands hostage even as you try to gesture with them.

"Because my teacher fucking sucks! I worked so, so hard on this one! You saw! You know! I just- I put it on the easel to present it and she fucking tore it apart, Zayne! Every little fucking thing! I tried to, you know, explain the fucking thought process behind it, just like everyone else, and you know what she did?! She ignored every single word I said! She said she didn't like it, she didn't understand it, it doesn't make sense, so she just shut down every single explanation I had! She wouldn't listen to anything! It's just-" Zayne tugs gently on you. You give in easily, dropping your head to rest on his shoulder. "It's not fair."

He squeezes your hands. They're cold, and you don't know if it's because of his Evol or if you're just running that hot from your outburst. "She only did that to yours?"

You nod against him, curling your nails toward his skin, before easing them flat against the scars on the back of his hands. He rubs his thumb against the meat of yours in small, soothing circles. "She actually critiqued everyone else's. But everything she said about mine? That wasn't fucking constructive criticism, it was just her own grievances. And I don't know if it's just me-"

"Whether she has something against you or not, that does not excuse the blatant unprofessionalism and disrespect she showed you," he interjects. "If you would like, I can help you file a complaint against her."

"Yes, please," you agree immediately.

He huffs a slight laugh. "Let's calm down first, alright?"

He lets go of your hands to hold your wrists. He guides them to sit on his chest, over his heart and lungs. Each breath he takes pushes against them, raising and falling in slow, even breaths. By your ear, you can hear those same slow breaths. You follow along.

Inhale for four seconds.

Hold for two.

Exhale for four.

The pattern continues for a couple minutes, until the anger simmers down. If you really needed to, Zayne would let you stay there for hours. It was better than the alternative.

When you got really angry like this, when it feels like breaking something is the only way to get it out of you, you'd turn it back on yourself. Destroying your art supplies may sound like an instant soother, but you're all too cognizant of how expensive and important it all is. But skin can heal.

Zayne, for obvious reasons, immediately worked to find solutions to help. Namely, holding your hands to keep them off of your arms or legs, and putting himself into position to take the pain. Not that you ever were able to dig your nails into him, even at your most desperate. The guilt of hurting him was too strong to even consider it. So, this way, no one got hurt.

"Better?"

(After this, he would help you file the report and retrieve your painting from the trash <333)

---

Tag List:

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[sokkastyles]

Hi! I just had a funny interaction and it kinda reminded me of the stuff I see sometimes on your blog.

So I posted something that was certainly Azula critical (and definitely anti-Azula stan, I'm pretty sure I tagged both) and I had three or four people start discourse with me over it, which is fine and all. But the funny part is one of those people was a grown person with a JOB that decided that they were not going to conduct any analysis but instead just make personal attacks at me the whole time, which they freely admitted. Once they started, another joined in and kept going until I stopped contact with both of them.

Now for context, I'm a high school senior in six different APs, captaining a girl's lacrosse team and my Taekwondo demo team, and I'm fairly active in four or five other minor extracurriculars. The point is, I'm a busy person. Tumblr is a simply creative outlet for me to connect with people who share my interests. And yeah, as an 18 year old who just started making analysis posts on a website where I'm surrounded by many more older individuals, I know my posts aren't all that refined. But I still feel like I was able to articulate my thoughts in a decent enough way. However, not only was I not able to convince others of my viewpoints (which I'm ok with tbh), I also received some hurtful comments that's definitely turned me away from having any discourse in this fandom at all.

So this is all basically lead-up to two questions:

Since you have a lot of experience in this sort of writing, do you have any advice for making an argumentative essay/meta on fandom related content (characterization, relationships, etc)?

Are you supposed to respond to or ignore unproductive comments/personal attacks? Am I letting them win if they have the last word?

To be completely honest, even if it's not my number 1 choice, I think Zutara is a fascinating ship that makes a lot of sense (more than Kataang for SURE smh). Reading your posts on them have been incredibly insightful and it's given me a lot of respect for the ship. I just wish I could write something like that, mainly for my own satisfaction. It's frustrating seeing characters like Azula being obliterated in fandom and being put into a little box of either girlboss or victim when she's so much more nuanced than that. That's what I was trying to communicate, and I did say multiple times that I saw her as more than just one or the other, but it definitely came across wrong. This was my first experience writing any sort of meta and it's definitely been a failure.

Hello! As a grown person with a job, let me first say this:

You do not owe anyone a reply, argument, or justification, ever.

Understanding this will help you with avoiding a lot of pointless discourse. And I'm not saying I'm always the best at avoiding it, but I did witness what happened with you and the Azula stans, and you did nothing wrong. Your original post was very well reasoned and fair. The people who were attacking you over it were being overly defensive and are well known for their ridiculous takes and toxic behavior, and twisting the narrative to make Azula seem like she's been unfairly villainized by the narrative, other characters, and fandom.

If anything, you were being nice by apologizing for being "antagonistic," even though you were being no such thing and they attacked you, and that's why they took the opportunity to attack you more. The thing is, though, that they were being manipulative. Which is unsurprising, since all of their arguments defending Azula follow the same rhetorical patterns.

I'm not saying don't be nice and don't apologize, but you don't have to apologize for people taking your arguments in complete bad faith and using that to try and hurt you. They are the ones in the wrong, and they're the ones perpetuating harm. And if they can convince you that it's actually you doing harm, that's one way they can try and harm you. That's why they kept responding to you, because you were nice and they saw an opportunity to harm you. Not because there was anything wrong with your arguments, which were very eloquently put and well-reasoned.

It actually really worries me when I see these kinds of interactions. I joke about Azula stans acting this way because I'm an adult and I know how not to take their bullshit seriously, but what they are doing can perpetuate real harm if they can convince enough people that they need to apologize for imagined harm. I've seen it happen many times in fandom spaces that became abusive because a loud minority is able to convince enough young, impressionable people of the threat of harm. On a meta level, it's just like what Ozai and Azula do to Zuko by convincing him he is to blame and using that as a justification to hurt him.

Anyway, it's perfectly acceptable to block and ignore people who act this way, and probably preferable for your own mental health. Again, I'm not always the best at taking this advice, and I know what it feels like to get sucked into an argument about stupid fandom stuff, but it is always okay to just walk away. Letting someone have the last word doesn't mean you've lost. It means you're not letting yourself be dragged down to their level, which is often what these people are seeking to begin with. There's an African proverb that goes "if a madman steals your clothes and you run after him, you're still the one running naked in the streets."

If somebody wants to run naked in the streets, just let them do it. You don't have to run after them.

(Ironically, I said this to a coworker the other day, too. Being an adult with a job doesn't guarantee you never have to interact with shitty people, unfortunately.)

On that same note, I appreciate the compliment about my zutara posts, but it's okay if you don't like the ship. Shipping is a personal choice and you don't have to have reasons for why you do or don't ship something. If my posts resonate with you, great! But I'm not here to convince anyone of anything.

Anyway, have a nice day and take care of yourself! You seem like you have a solid head on your shoulders, so don't let fandom stuff get you down.

[bumbled-bees]

The Lily Playbook

(Or: How she runs her spaces and keeps people in line)

I’ve talked a lot on this blog about patterns—how Lily behaves, how she talks, how she spins stories to serve her narrative. But I haven’t fully laid out what it’s like being inside one of her spaces. From the perspective of an average person who stuck around long enough to notice how things worked. So here it is: the Playbook.

Lily doesn’t lead through trust. She leads through pressure. And most of that pressure is unspoken. That’s what makes it effective. She doesn’t always have to say “don’t question me,” because the tone she sets—and the way she handles anyone who steps out of line—makes sure no one else even wants to try.

Step one of the Playbook is positioning herself as the smartest, most correct person in the room. She’ll go on long, authoritative tangents, use big words whether she understands them or not, and say things in the most matter-of-fact tone possible—even when it’s something completely subjective or unproven. And the thing is, if you don’t know better, it’s easy to believe her. You assume she must have done her research. That she wouldn’t say something so confidently unless it were true. That’s the trap. Her audience, especially younger or neurodivergent people, latch onto that certainty. And she counts on that.

Step two is isolating dissent. If you disagree with her, you’re not just “wrong.” You’re talking past her. You’re deliberately misrepresenting her. You’re violating her boundaries. (Boundaries she never actually states clearly, but somehow you’re supposed to have memorized.) It doesn’t matter if your disagreement is polite or rooted in good faith—any challenge to her version of things is seen as a personal attack. And once she’s labeled you a problem, the people around her fall in line.

Because here’s the unspoken rule: Lily doesn’t need to tell anyone to dogpile you. They’ll do it on their own. Not out of malice, but because that’s the environment she builds. You want to stay in her good graces? You learn not to question her. You see what happens to the people who do. The silence of those who disagree becomes a kind of self-policing mechanism. You feel the pressure without her ever needing to say a word.

Another key part of the Playbook is redefining what “abuse” and “accountability” mean to suit her. She doesn’t believe in the cycle of abuse—because acknowledging it would mean admitting she’s capable of harming others, even unintentionally. So instead, she frames all criticism of her as harassment, all reminders of past behavior as stalking, and every attempt to hold her accountable as “um actually-ing” her. It’s why she throws around terms like “boundary violation” even in response to well-meaning messages or neutral questions. It’s why people walk on eggshells around her.

When I was still in her space, I remember feeling this creeping discomfort. Moments where I thought, wait, is that really fair? or that person didn’t even say anything rude. But you learn not to voice it. You see what happens when people do. You see who gets banned, who gets ranted about in vague posts, who gets turned into cautionary tales.

And finally: Lily knows her critiques don’t hold up to serious scrutiny. That’s why she frames anyone who questions her takes as being part of some obsessive “hate mob.” It keeps her audience distrustful of outsiders. It lets her dismiss all criticism—no matter how valid—as just noise. And the people who do stick around end up internalizing that mindset: “Lily’s the one telling the truth. Everyone else is out to get her.”

It’s a playbook built on deflection, defensiveness, and control. And the worst part is, it doesn’t look like that at first. If you’re young, vulnerable, or just looking for someone who “gets it,” she can seem like the voice of reason. But stick around long enough and the cracks start to show.

That’s why I started this blog. Not to speculate, not to gossip, but to document what’s observable. And this—this is the framework I saw in action. Not from the outside looking in, but from the inside slowly stepping back.

If you’re starting to notice these same patterns, you’re not imagining it.

It’s been wild watching it repeat over and over, knowing that I’ve seen these steps firsthand. When you’re in it, it doesn’t feel like a “playbook.” It feels like friendship. Trust. Solidarity. It feels like you’re part of something important.

But when you finally step back? You see the patterns. You see the manipulations. And you see that this whole system is built to serve her, not anyone else.

That’s what the Lily Playbook is.

And once you learn to recognize it, you’ll start seeing it everywhere she goes.

[aukly]

i don’t actually hate wyler

⚠️idk if this needs a spoiler warning bc the show has been out for almost 3 years but if you haven’t seen the end of wednesday season 1 go watch it or just scroll so you spoil it for yourself‼️

if you have read any of my wednesday related posts it would be pretty obvious which ship i am most in favor of (wenclair 🩷🖤)

however i have never given a fully thought out statement about my opinion on wyler as a whole. besides you know this:

“there is no universe where that girl is attracted to a cishet white man like her whole character (and her family’s) is based on being the opposite of societal norms wednesday is the last person to be attracted to people like tyler and xavier”

BUT WYLER (AND WENCLAIR) FANS HERE ME OUT

before the big reveal at the end of the show it was true, i was not understanding the hype about tyler. he was the epitome of everything wednesday hates; a white boy who’s dad is a cop, but by the end of the show we find out he isn’t the person we had gotten to know throughout the season. he is also, technically, an outcast, and for sure a monster. he was also not a super well written character, this isn’t really the character’s fault more just my gripe with the shows writing as a whole.

this puts him in a similar category to enid: white people who are outcasts/monsters, who also don’t fit in within their own families (also also tyler and enid’s parents lowkey, highkey aren’t the best?!)

anyways, they both have things they can relate to with wednesday, like not fitting in with people around them and even their families.

they also have stuff that wednesday would mostly likely find more attractive in a person (i’m no expert but stay with me) they are outcasts and “vicious” monsters. no one can tell me she wouldn’t find any monster species interesting!! especially one who couldn’t transform for her whole life and suddenly did to save her roomie or a guy who can transform into a RARE type of monster.

and plus even before the reveal everyone loves a dark moody character with someone super nice and sweet!

so yeah i understand why people think wyler would be a good couple and i don’t exactly hate them like i used to bc i do think wednesday would be interested especially after the reveal of him being A hyde.

HOWEVER i specified the “A” and didn’t use “the” this very important bc wednesday doesn’t like murder she has morbid interests, curiosities, and humor. she does also do things that aren’t necessarily legal, but she, and no other addams family members, do or condone murdering innocent people (as far as i’m aware, please correct me if i’m wrong!!). she actively tries to stop the death of others around her bc, to an extent, she does care about human life.

now you may be wondering “what about her obsession with serial killers?!” and i want to you ask it again out loud. it’s just what you said it was, an obsession! she finds killers interesting, she wants to understand their patterns, behaviors, and thought processes. this doesn’t mean she actually condones murder.

there is one argument i could potentially sort of get behind for them to be canon later on and that being bc he was groomed through the whole killing thing he might not fully be in wrong which i get kinda but like he did fully kill people so idk. i think if the writers wanted to go down that route they would have to be very careful about how they do it so yeah idk.

overall i do understand where people are coming from with the wyler ship, i personally prefer wenclair and think if you like the tropes you see in wyler try to think about wenclair in a similar way and you might realize it’s not so different!!

if anyone wants to discuss or have a friendly debate about why one ship is a little better than the other, i would happily reply to anyone!! but if you just want to argue i will either ignore or delete your comment bc it’s really not that deep! wednesday is teen netflix show with tolerable writing, we aren’t debating something life changing. :P

[attex]

I love your UI design. Any thoughts on them like their interaction with others?

that innocence is pretty paralleled if we are being honest...

My interpretation of UI is based on the idea of them just being attention and stimulation addicted... They were made like this on purpose, by the same group of engineers (not exactly the same persons though) as NSH, due to the seeming work efficiency in a more active and stimulation seeking personality. This is also why they are named ironically too, along with having a fake mouth! However, such a personality tends to give diminishing returns, especially when there isn't things to focus on constantly. Which is why UI leaned towards gossiping and messing around.

They don't do things out of malice, (the ordeal with 5P was not malicious lol) it's all just another little thing to pass the time. But they do feel guilty and awkward if pushed around a bit. They're more honest than they seem, they won't lie about their mean thoughts or opinions. They will lie if it causes more attention to be given to them or they dislike the way they're treated from their honesty; but this is all hard to achieve as they can get VERY stubborn. They're naturally curious in a gawking at things and not shutting up kinda way. If they see something weird, they will point it out and keep bringing it up to talk about it.

I interpret them to be the youngest, being built a short while after 5P. This is why they look the way they do, but they still have discerning traits due to the engineers that built them. Their design for the puppet should be obvious in the ways it's similar to how NSH's puppet is designed, at least I hope I managed to show that... I also imagine their structures have much bigger bio-engineering lab sections, not for actual production of purposed organisms but rather for experimenting with them and the like. Those two would be occupied with that often, along with their other duties. The small cloak, a lot of parts that light up to indicate status, fake mouth, more angular parts, focus on strip patterns, sturdier legs... Their cloak has patterns resembling rod cells in eyes, also!

As for their relationships with others in their group...

LttM gets along well with them, which usually surprises outsiders. She knows they just need things to do but does get disappointed at their more reckless behavior. UI likes LttM for being a bit too lenient regarding things they do that they probably shouldn't, but besides that they do see her as a trustable friend albeit not taking her senior status too solidly.

5P definitely doesn't enjoy having to interact with them at all after getting humiliated by them. He doesn't hate them or anything, he never did. While he wasn't surprised about them doing what they did, it still soured his view of them by a lot and feeling that many heavy emotions in one moment didn't help. Otherwise, he can't be bothered with them in general. UI sees 5P as an extremely difficult peer to mess with in any way, he is impatient and easily annoyed but his tendency to just cut things off makes anything silly near impossible. While they do find his issues interesting in a shallow way, a part of them secretly wishes to know more of him on a personal level... Most likely because he is the only one they've never gotten to engage with closely, their nosy interest in him got more blatant as time went on too.

SRS actually enjoys talking to them a decent amount, though they can't help but feel like there is always a barrier of sorts in fully understanding and connecting with UI. UI finds SRS very amusing. Definitely their "favorite" in the group due to SRS' extrovertedness combined with that iconic tinge of obliviousness. UI has always enjoyed snooping in on SRS, especially when they talk to outsiders. SRS isn't fully aware of the extent of UI observing them like a weird animal, though...

NSH is neutral, yet wary regarding UI. They both know how either one can behave pretty well. He still sees them as a friend though. He's the second person that tells UI to "behave" the most- but it isn't like UI can't snap back at him for being overly playful as well. UI is nearly the same way towards him. Both of them know of each other's mischievous attitude and that makes it difficult for them to mess with one another. They can get a bit too caught up in being silly if he eggs them on and vice versa… even if they don't fully notice NSH views them as acting more childish by a lot. CGW… I haven't thought of and characterized CGW well enough to say anything regarding them honestly… But the things I'm certain of are UI seeing CGW as being way too "put together" and unfun, because they act very proper in comparison to everyone else. That's more incentive to mess with them, though. CGW doesn't dislike UI or anything, but they see being closer friends with them as not entirely possible.

[eb-the-gamer]

THOUGHTS ON CHARACTERS: TORIEL!

UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE SPOILERS.

So...my thoughts on Toriel...are quite mixed I must say. But over all I think the character is toxic towards Asgore in a way I dislike, by design

Don't misunderstand, I think her being unfair is kind of a point. There's a difference in feeling that way because it's what is intended vs. Not actively having a point/unintentionally writing something badly. I like her a ton, but the way some of the fans talk about her makes it seem like she could do no wrong and is completely justified, when...that doesn't feel like it's the case for me

While in Undertale I can...kinda forgive her and see where she's coming from (on top of the motherly behavior), it's implied/explained that if Asgore stuck to his guns one way or another she would have stayed. Thing is though, that's still being complacent in KILLING HUMANS, and judging by the pattern, CHILDREN - either of which she would be VERY much against after the whole situation with Chara and Asriel's passing. I get the distinct impression she'd probably be put off and disgusted and abandon the kingdom no matter what path was taken. There was literally no way Asgore could win in this scenario, and part of why he's wishy washy is because he KNOWS this, but is too soft-spoken and nice to really argue.

But the thing also is that he DOES go through with it when the time comes with his fight, going as far as breaking the ACT button, so she was kinda mad at him being indecisive for nothing, even when they all get out in the best ending. On top of that, she didn't HAVE to stay in the ruins and not show up until the end, it's easier for her to stay there until she hears the Child is actually at the castle, and she never responds when you call her after the ruins.

Deltarune though....oh BOY does it a make a point to make you see her flaws. Feels like there's some favoritism at play with Asriel, and him leaving has her kinda be much more overcompensating towards Kris despite being at least a pre teen by this point (holding his hand walking into the school, for example). Thing is here, Asgore is just running a failing flower shop and living there after being kicked out. And if the two of them were arguing back and forth, there must be something that actually upset HIM that he disagreed with Toriel over enough to actually take something of a stand for himself. The first couple of chapters, you could play it off as "Oh they were on the rocks in Untertale, so they're on the rocks and estranged here too." But then Chapter 4 kinda throws that notion out of whak.

And it smartly uses Susie as the surrogate for this. She puts Toriel in high regard as a perfect mom, doesn't want to get her upset (even before the bulk of Chapter 1), etc. And she is worried when Chapter 4 comes along and the implication she is in danger in the Dark World is the main reasoning for going in there aside from sealing the fountain.

But then you don't find her, and it's revealed she apparently snapped in some way, to the point of not letting anyone know she canceled her plans and was spending the majority of the chapter drinking and partying with Sans. Such a lighthearted moment comes with a layered gut punch that you were worried for her and fought for your life, and Susie and Kris are both put off by how non-chalant and casual her behavior is. It's not fully her fault (nor anyone else's), mind; she probably was overwhelmed, Sans offered to hang out with her, and she canceled her plans to have some time to unwind, away from worrying.

But still, after everything Susie (alongside Kris) went through and risked, partially for her sake, they are understandably i upset and don't want to stay the night/talk to her for the moment.

The story is still ongoing, but judging by the Knight attempting to snag her, and not Asgore, she might have had something to do with that bunker - which I think Deltarune theorists will know what is theorized to be in there.

[clangenrising]

I share your love of stories of redemption and growth (that you mentioned in another ask), and I really appreciate what you are doing with Ghost. It is never, ever too late to choose to change, regardless of the things you've done in the past. Being genuinely sorry for what you have done is not always enough for the people you have hurt. Sometimes nothing is. But if you truly regret your actions you change anyways, not because you expect to be forgiven, but because YOU want to be different. Ghost's experience feels real right now, especially his sense of uncertainty and discomfort and even reluctance at some points. Change isnt easy. Behavior and thought patterns are hard to shift, even when you can recognize they're wrong. And it is much, much easier to give up than it is to do the uncomfortable work of changing, especially when you come face to face with the people that you have hurt. Especially when you're confronted by someone who has been deeply affected by your actions. Having Fogpaw ask Ghost why he would do the things he did is such a simple but effective confrontation. She doesnt understand the complexity of the situation, but for someone like Ghost I actually think that kind of point blank question can be useful, in small doses. I think it's historically been easy for him to make lots of excuses to himself and others for his actions, but being confronted by his own (very direct) daughter puts him in a hard position where he actually has to think about it. She is someone he doesn't seem to want to lie to, but being honest with her means he needs to examine his own actions more thoroughly. Why DID he do those things? There's a lot to unpack there, and all of it is tangled up with his own personal fears and the sexist society he was raised in. To have a good relationship with his daughters, especially with those daughters living in a society that has very different views on gender and sexuality than his own, he is going to have to confront some of his own biases. So I think that knowing them is going to be a vitally important part of his growth. Whatever happens specifically, you've done a fantastic job setting up characters with complex feelings about one another who are going to be deeply affected by each other's words and actions. There are so many ways it could go, all of which would be interesting. Can't wait to see more!

I'll end this with a quote from my favorite book series (which is also about growth and redemption and change) that I wish I could share with Ghost right now: "If we stop, if we accept the person we are when we fall, the journey ends. That failure becomes our destination. To love the journey is to accept no such end. I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one."

Very well said, so well said I don't have much to add. 50 RisingBucks <3

That's such a lovely quote (From Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson, I believe, if anyone was wondering) and I think it would be comforting to Ghost. It wouldn't fix everything but it would probably make him feel less alone and that's a powerful thing.

[hrizantemy]

Day 15 of ACOTAR Games: This or That

Who deserves a redemption arc?

Rhysand

Cassian

Your contenders: @achaotichuman @litnerdwrites @umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken

On penalty: @yaralulu

It's perfectly fine that you are tending to your priorities. This is barely a corner we resort to for some reprieve. I am glad you are finding joy in what you do despite the tediousness of it. Please take care of yourself and return when you are mentally able to.

I personally think neither of them truly deserves a redemption arc. They’ve both done things that I just can’t overlook. Rhysand, with his manipulation and questionable choices, particularly regarding the treatment of others, doesn’t come across as someone who’s earned redemption in my eyes. As for Cassian, while I understand his struggles and the trauma he’s been through, his actions toward Nesta, including the verbal abuse and disrespect, make it hard for me to believe he deserves a redemption arc either.

But if anyone were to get one, I guess I’d choose Cassian. His growth could be more meaningful if it truly addresses the harm he’s caused and the toxic behaviors he’s exhibited, especially toward Nesta. However, I’m not sure if that’s something SJM will actually do in a way that feels earned.

I think Cassian’s realization of how he’s treated Nesta is long overdue, and it would be a powerful moment if he finally acknowledged the harm he’s caused. The verbal abuse, the moments of degradation, and his complete disregard for her emotional needs would have to hit him hard—maybe not just through words, but through actions that really show him the depth of his mistakes. He needs to understand that his behavior was not just a momentary lapse, but a pattern of cruelty that made her feel unworthy and small.

If he were to grovel, it wouldn’t just be a couple of apologies or gestures to win back her affection. It would have to be a true reckoning—a deep, raw moment where he admits to himself how wrong he was and how much pain he caused. It would have to be more than just “I’m sorry, I didn’t know” because that’s not enough at this point. He’d need to express how he failed her, take responsibility for his actions without any excuses, and show genuine remorse. The apology would have to be something that reflects the hurt she felt, not just something that fits into his need to feel absolved.

Cassian needs to be humble—perhaps even go so far as to put his own pride aside, something that isn’t easy for him—and show her through consistent actions that he’s truly learned from his mistakes. It’s not about trying to win her back or gain her forgiveness for himself; it’s about demonstrating, every day, that he respects her boundaries, her needs, and her strength. Only then would I start to see that maybe, just maybe, he could begin to redeem himself.

If Cassian were to truly come to terms with how he’s treated Nesta and put in the work to show her genuine remorse, I’d love to see them travel together. There’s something so raw and intimate about traveling—especially when it’s a journey of healing and redemption. The physical distance between them would mirror the emotional distance they’ve had, and it could be a way for them to rediscover each other in a space where neither of them is confined by the past.

Imagine them journeying through new lands, perhaps visiting places that hold no expectations for them. There would be moments of quiet reflection, where Cassian would have to prove that his growth isn’t just words, but actions—whether it’s standing beside Nesta when she’s vulnerable or offering her a space to truly be herself without any pressure. It could be a time for her to regain trust in him, to see him not just as the soldier or the High Lord’s brother, but as someone who is truly working to change.

In the midst of their travels, they could share stories, face dangers together, and even have moments of lightness, where Cassian’s attempts to make her laugh or his gentle, thoughtful gestures speak volumes. It would be a chance for them to build new memories, ones that aren’t tainted by his past mistakes. Seeing them move through the world side by side, as equals, would give them the chance to rebuild their relationship on solid ground.

And through it all, Nesta could see that the man beside her is truly different—that he isn’t just apologizing, but actively seeking to make things right. I think it would be beautiful if they came to understand each other in a way that’s beyond what either of them thought was possible. There’s a quiet strength in seeing someone grow, and for them to travel and grow together would be a powerful testament to the change Cassian would need to make.

For Cassian and Nesta to truly grow together, it would take a deep, mutual effort to understand each other’s struggles, desires, and boundaries. Growth, for them, isn’t just about overcoming past mistakes, but about learning to support each other in ways they’ve never done before. It would require them to peel back the layers of hurt, pride, and fear that have kept them apart, and to rebuild their relationship from the ground up, brick by brick.

Cassian would need to go beyond simply acknowledging his past wrongs. He would have to prove, over time, that he respects Nesta’s autonomy, her strength, and her need for space. Real growth isn’t about forcing a connection or pushing her into forgiving him quickly—it’s about consistent effort. That might mean stepping back when she needs distance, offering her comfort when she’s vulnerable, and letting her know that he sees her not just as a mate, but as an individual with her own pain and her own agency.

Nesta, on the other hand, would need to unlearn the belief that she isn’t worthy of love and respect. Cassian’s actions—if they’re consistent and genuine—could help her slowly rebuild trust, but she would also have to find her own sense of healing. She’d need to believe that, no matter how toxic relationships in her past were, she can still create a space for something healthier. As she grows, she could learn to be vulnerable with Cassian in ways she never has been before, knowing he’s not there to control or undermine her, but to stand beside her as an equal.

Their growth could be fostered in the quiet moments, when they’re traveling or working together toward a common goal. Those moments of facing adversity as a team—whether it’s battling through external enemies or navigating their own internal struggles—would help them develop trust in each other. They would learn to rely on each other’s strengths and hold each other accountable when needed. Cassian, for example, would have to prove that he can step back from his own pride and let Nesta lead in her own way, whether in battle, in decision-making, or in their personal lives.

Through shared experiences, they’d begin to see each other as partners—not just as individuals with their own pasts, but as people who are willing to grow and evolve for the betterment of their relationship. It would be a delicate dance, filled with both successes and setbacks, but the key would be their willingness to meet each other halfway.

Ultimately, their growth together would hinge on respect—respect for each other’s autonomy, flaws, and strength. As they both work to overcome their personal demons and the scars left from past wounds, they could create a space where they can love and support each other in a way that’s healthy, balanced, and rooted in mutual understanding. The beauty of this journey would be in the process itself—two broken people coming together, not to fix each other, but to help each other heal.

I missed this, oopsie! Sorry babes, I’ve been MIA for a sec but we’re back in action now!

[mandyspeaks]

How is BPD created from a BPD perspective

In my experience BPD is created through fundamental abandonment trauma, particularly with family. I can give an example to show how this functions.

Let’s imagine Betty lives on a planet far away, where it is customary for family members to always shake hands when they see each other. Betty sees other families doing this all the time. She sees her own family members shaking hands with each other. Yet for some reason, none of the family members will shake Betty’s hand. They simply refuse to and ignore her when she tries. Eventually Betty gives up trying.

When you’re a child, you often don’t have enough context for how healthy families work, to know that there’s anything dysfunctional about yours. In this case, the child is more likely to draw the painful conclusion that they are the problem. It’s not the adults for refusing to shake her hand, she must not be worthy of it. She internalizes this shame as a permanent core sense of self when relating to the world. She enters the world through the filter of “I’m not worthy. There is something inherently wrong with me.”

Later in life Betty falls in love and enters a romantic relationship. She finally has someone who will shake her hand upon greeting like she always wanted. Which possibly contradicts her feeling that she is not worthy.

For this reason her ego will hold on to this romantic partner in a way that idolizes them. They’re not just bringing her love, they’re validating her entire sense of selfhood.

One day her partner is in a bad mood and does not shake her hand upon entering their home. For couples that grew up in healthy homes, this would happen from time to time and be forgivable.

For Betty, she is actually reliving her childhood trauma of being denied a handshake. Her partner is not intending to hurt her, and cannot understand the seemingly disproportionate reaction.

Betty’s body is remembering all of the exact same sensations she went through when her own family would refuse to shake her hand. She is actively experiencing a PTSD flashback. On top of that, the experience is validating her core sense of shame and unworthiness.

Someone she once saw as someone totally different from those who betrayed her, is now acting the same way. To Betty, she feels like she cannot escape this pattern, because deep down, she is not worthy of having her hand shook.

Betty is in so much emotional turmoil during this flashback that she says angry and somewhat hurtful things to her partner. Her thoughts are racing and she feels like a hurt child again. In the moment, she feels that she is doing what she can to reveal this deep seated pain to her partner, which is so painful that it comes out laced with anger and betrayal that is not solely from this moment, but decades deep. She isn’t just speaking to her partner in this moment, she is speaking to her family members who neglected and abandoned her.

Betty tells her partner she doesn’t want to speak to them anymore. Betty does not feel she is worthy of having her needs met, so she has to find another way to get them met. By pushing her partner away, part of her hopes that they will “realize” the truth of her pain and validate it. But her partner doesn’t understand why she is having such a strong reaction.

Eventually the PTSD flashback will fade away and for Betty it will feel like she is coming down off of a bad drug mixed with an angry panic attack. and Betty’s rational mind will start to see the situation as it is. For a BPD person an argument can feel like waking up with a bad hangover and seeing you texted your ex, but worse. It’s waking up to reality and seeing you have said things you know are unreasonable and pushed away the one person who showed you love.

The truth of BPD is that to an outsider, our behavior may seem unreasonable and difficult. But to that person, there are many layers of trauma and context that have led to these specific rejections being profoundly painful, especially when coming from someone you love.

[cosmicjoke]

in the scene deciding on which branch of the military gets custody of Eren, or where Levi beats up Eren, Levi said smth like "I believe pain is the most effective form of discipline." what are ur thoughts? is he saying it just to provoke further fear of him from the mp, does he actually mean it but won't carry it out himself unless absolutely necessary, etc. he doesn't seem, especially in post war scenes, like the type of guy to use pain as discipline (unless necessary, obviously)

Well, it's pretty crazy to me how many people don't seem to understand that Levi's behavior and actions during that scene with Eren was literally him putting on an act in order to save Eren's life. Levi had to make it look like he wasn't at all afraid of Eren, to the point of being willing to provoke him into transforming, in order to prove to the Military Police that he could handle Eren and that it was safe to give Eren up to the Survey Corps' custody.

As you rightly point out here, Levi doesn't subscribe to any sort of philosophy of corporal punishment. He doesn't engage in any sort of patterns of abusive behavior. He doesn't make a habit out of hitting his soldiers in order to instill discipline. He'll only ever really hit someone when they've acted out in some truly egregious display of bad behavior, like for example, Eren refusing to back down and allow Levi to carry out his duty during the RtS arc, or in the aftermath of Eren's attack on Liberio. Levi only ever lashes out in violence when he genuinely believes lives are being put at risk, or someone's actions have caused the loss of life. Again, the two examples above, or when he manhandles Historia for being more concerned for her goody two shoes image and feigning at humility than she is with protecting the lives of her fellow comrades or the possibility of civil war breaking out. Even the one time Levi lashes out in violence out of seemingly nowhere, when he breaks up Eren's and Jean's fight by kicking them, it's because he's pissed at Erwin for endangering the cause of humanity by refusing to sit out the mission to retake Wall Maria. That was just a case of Levi being really upset and not having a proper outlet with which to express his emotions.

It's why it's absurd when people call Levi "abusive", because it has to be a pattern of behavior in order for someone to be labeled an abuser. Levi hits other people in the series a total of four times, over a period of four years. He doesn't engage in physical discipline enough to say he thinks of it as an appropriate means of disciplining anyone. He generally only engages in violence when he feels there's no other choice, i.e. when he knows if he doesn't, he or someone else is going to die, or when he feels it's the only, truly good option for achieving a certain outcome. The times he engages in violence out of emotion, again, it's because he thinks lives are being put in danger, and Levi can get upset when that happens.

So yeah, I don't think Levi actually believes what he says in that scene. The whole thing is an act, orchestrated by Erwin.

Anyway, hope that answers your question and thank you for the ask!

[sefenstein]

hi, I apologize for not including all the info!

My favourite memory: Having a snowball fight with my family around 7 years ago. This event took place before a long-term traumatic event. At this point I had basically no anxiety, there was no mental "Heavyness" (idk how else to describe it) weighing me down.

My favourite advice: Not every story has a villain. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out who was in the wrong in certain situations. But I suppose things can sometimes go wrong due to things out of our control.

My initials are A.F. and I'd like for the reading to be about M.K. please. For context, she was my close friend over the past 2 years. Occasionally she would avoid me and ignore messages for around 1 week, and then would go completely back to normal. I couldn't figure out whether she actually cared about me, or if I was just being paranoid. Then around 6 months ago, I stopped attending our college; At first, she was really worried (Messaged me quite often and even went to my house to give me my favourite chocolate and a letter). But then, she started taking weeks to reply to my text. About 1 month ago, when it was her bday, after wishing her a happy birthday I deleted the app we kept in contact on due to how much I was worrying. It made me much less anxious, but even now I wonder whether I made the right choice.

Sorry for making this ask so long, and I hope you have a nice day!!

Tw: panic attacks.

You had every right to worry about them. Have you heard of the term “love bombing?” Essentially, this term is for romantic relationships, but we will use the term here. Your friend (m.k) was love bombing you with texts, those gifts, and going to great lengths to care for you. Though the term does not appear through these actions, intuition tells me that your paranoia with this friendship was actually your intuition.

M.K’s energy is similar to someone trying to skip a line out of bitterness and feeling scared to be wrong. So, since they knew you worried a lot, they wanted to take advantage of that. When people worry and they surround themselves with toxic assholes, those toxic people feel their ego boosted with those that worry like you. They love those that think about them all the time, those that make sure they are okay, or those that need someone to stay in contact with. In a way, you are their food source, and for them, they gain too much pride and happiness from something that should not be. You had every right to question them since the behavior was a pattern, and those that do not like texting always let the party know that they don’t, or they let them know in advance that they aren’t in the mood too. That is the difference here.

Knight of swords, the lovers, and the hermit (reversed).

Before I shuffled your card, the image of someone cutting in line just to be first and get everything over with popped up multiple times, and the same can be said here. When I did shuffle your cards, everything came out fast. A part of you knows that you did the right thing, but at the same time that same energy happened to you when you sent your ask. Do you understand what I mean? Your friendship was a means to an end, there was never going to be a developed friendship with one another because, on their terms, they wanted to use you for their ego boost. And on your terms, you just wanted the answer for everything. These fast paced thoughts and your anxiety surfacing together made it hard for you to give yourself the clarity you needed. Everything you want to know is within you. You don’t even need to read PACs to find them. You’re already perceptive as it is.

The knight of swords confirms this, but since you already know the answer, intuition wants you to know why this happened and how it is going to help your spiritual awakening and growth.

You are on this path where you are struggling to accept who you have become. With your favorite memory to now, but the thing is, when we grow as a person, we grow from the experiences and lessons that determine those memories. So, basically, who you are now is from the life you journeyed through, and it cannot be changed. Even if you healed or acted another way. Your lessons and memories do not change, and who you are now is your real self. I understand where these worries lie, but the person who you are now—they needs your attention. You need to be gentle with yourself. You need to be like, ‘’okay, this is who I am now. This is where my journey took me. Everything happens for a reason, but I am going to make that reason special.” You need to understand when things happen, it does not mean it has to be a bad thing even if something bad occurs—you don’t have to let it engulf you and be like, “that’s it. There is nothing left for me. Life has no meaning—” No. That is letting those bad experiences win, and not even from a metaphorical viewpoint. Genuinely.

It’s like saying those that suffered car accidents have to allow themselves to be a burden because they cannot walk anymore. If that were to happen to you, would you wallow in that burden, or would you make something magical or special appear from the outcome?

If you keep learning to move forward in your life, your anxious thoughts are going to reduce tenfold, and your worries will diminish into something magical. Now, I understand the term "magical" appeared a bit, but my intuition is giving you a warning about what is about to come. But I know you are perceptive and you don’t actually need me to do a reading, so I will let you figure that one out.

With the lovers card and the hermit (reversed), you should understand that this sadness you are allowing to consume you is not working in your favor. You really need to allow yourself to mourn correctly, and when you have, let it go. You don’t need much when you let go. Right now, you are going back and forth with the messages in your head, some of the calls you had, and some of the meetings you had with them, etc., but did you ever think about just letting it go?

Stop thinking about it—seriously, stop it. Just breathe. Breathe. Take a deep breath right now, and say to yourself as you whisper, ���I have moved on from M.K. They are not in my field right now. I am worthy of beautiful friendships and love. I know my worth, and I take back my power from these thoughts. They do not align with me, they are not my friends, and I am my only friend. I am worthy of this peace, and I will take back this peace right now.” When you say, right now, say it in a commanding voice, and you will have the biggest weight come off your shoulders. Even if you don’t see it right now, it will appear within that week.

Don’t wait for that peace to come, just move on and move forward with your life. You need to stop thinking that there are no villains in this life or in a story because there are. People have choices to make, and they make that choice based on whatever the reason is. And yet when it came to this person, the reason was simple: use and manipulate you.

Perhaps it is easier not to have someone who was shitty in your life, but you must understand this is based on intuition and tarot. Everything is based on your energy right now, so whether you want to change your advice, you have to understand you are allowed to find others’ bad. Because people can make choices, people can be evil for no reason, and people can be hurtful because they want to see your downfall, and this person wanted to see that first.

I am very proud of you for deleting the app. That takes a lot of courage, especially with the thoughts that have been consuming you, but intuition tells me that you need to stop beating yourself up about it. There is no need and there never was.

If you beat up a child and degrade them because they made a mistake and did not solve it fast, how do you think they would feel? Do you think they would trust you again, or perhaps how bad do you think their anxiety will be when it comes to making mistakes? Do you assume they will be okay, or do you think they will grow up as a perfectionist? How do you think you will appear further in your life? Will your thoughts will become easier? Perhaps you will feel safe around yourself? Do you think you will love yourself… again?

Understand that beating yourself up will not make your life better nor show kindness to your growth. Do not ruin the purpose of your spiritual awakening. Show kindness to yourself.

Do you understand, A.F?

Do not be that person that allows M.K. to be satisfied. This is not about winning, okay? This is about honoring who you were in the past and now. You must not let them get to you, and you must understand this is what they want. They want you to be stagnant and depressed, feeling hopeless and lost—they want you to cry about the past and gaslight yourself. This is all about their manipulation, and you are letting them win.

You are the type of person to be very passionate in your friendships; you care for the other party and want to make sure they are taken care of. In a way, you would be considered the “mom” friend with no gender specified.

You told yourself that this friendship would be different; you weren’t going to be passionate with this person, and you were going to let it go with the flow. But their behavior made you question yourself and doubt everything. It also made you struggle with your aesthetic because they were passive-aggressive about the outfit you wore to college that day. Whether or not you picked it up, your nervous system did, and that is why you could not explain why you felt anxious for two months straight. And sometimes these thoughts would consume you, and your panic attacks would worsen, and when you sought out help from your sibling, they couldn’t soothe you. Each panic attack you had, you had thoughts that sounded vulgar and cruel, but that never fit who you were. Know that these thoughts did not come from your anxiety or past experiences—you must understand that you were channeling their inner thoughts.. instead.

When I said that you could figure it out on your own because you are perceptive, I also meant you are very intuitive, but your anxiety disorder blocks you from your potential power. That is why I mentioned you should take a breath and move forward. Tarot literally screams that "if you do move on, you can give yourself clarity on all the QUESTIONS you have been wondering about." You are so intuitive, A.F., but you have to learn to trust yourself, and that trust is the reason why the friendship ended.

I know that your reason ended on a cliffhanger, and yet this is where you fill in the next parts. How do you want the reading to end, A.F?

Channeled song:

No one noticed - The Marías

Thank you for participating and being patient with me.

Don’t pressure yourself to give me feedback immediately. Take your time on it and when you do, you will be welcome with open arms.

Sef. 🤍

[bumbled-bees]

Would asking about why longtime/hardcore fans stay with lily fall into talking about her inner circle? Not asking for specifics on certain people, just wondering why those fans in general stick around.

Not the unknowing youtube crowd who sees Lily's polished version, but the server and twitch members who have seen her poor behavior and even been on the recieveing end of some of the worst of it. I can't imagine sticking around someone who is just that rude in general, has gone on record numerous times to say she hates her fanbase, and probably a bunch of other stuff those deeper in the trenches than I was could shine a light on.

This is definitely a question that starts to toe the line of "inner circle" talk, but I think it's worth answering as long as we keep it general and grounded in patterns, not people. So I’m going to speak from personal experience and from patterns I witnessed when I was on the inside, while being careful not to put words in anyone’s mouth.

To understand why some longtime fans stick around Lily despite seeing (and sometimes experiencing) her most toxic behavior firsthand, you have to recognize the emotional architecture of her spaces. The rules, the tone, the way she carries herself — they all work together to gradually reframe your sense of what’s acceptable.

First is normalization. The more time you spend in Lily’s community, the more her volatility and abrasiveness start to feel like background noise. It stops being surprising when she snaps at people, or condescends to them, or launches into a tirade over what seems like a minor disagreement. You start to rationalize it: She’s just blunt. She’s tired of explaining herself. That person was being annoying. And you internalize the idea that if Lily goes off on someone, it’s not because she overreacted — it’s because they screwed up. That belief is reinforced constantly by the structure of the space: her mods, her rules, her regulars who know how to navigate her moods and often echo her responses like a chorus. Once you're in the middle of it, it stops feeling dysfunctional. It just feels normal.

Then there’s the sunk cost factor. People who’ve followed Lily for years have often invested a lot into her — not just in terms of time or money, but emotionally. They’ve connected with her on parasocial terms. Sometimes even deeper than that, and actual friendships form. They’ve taken her advice to heart. Many have grown up watching her content. When that’s your starting point, realizing she’s not who you thought — or that she might be actively harming people — is painful. It’s cognitively dissonant. You don’t want to admit that the person you trusted and maybe even admired is capable of causing the kind of harm you’d condemn in anyone else. So you justify it, or look away, or dig your heels in deeper, because the alternative is confronting a really painful truth: that you put your faith in someone who didn’t deserve it. And if you’re already vulnerable — already dealing with trauma, rejection, or a need for community — that’s an even harder leap to make.

And yes, fear plays a role. Lily’s communities are not psychologically safe spaces. If you challenge her, if you question the wrong thing, if you phrase something in a way she doesn’t like, you’re liable to be mocked, scolded, or banned. You learn very quickly what the acceptable range of expression is — and it’s narrow. I watched people tiptoe around her in real time, trying to stay on her good side. And I get it. You see what happens to the people who cross a line. It’s often public, it’s often humiliating, and nobody steps in to defend you. Why would they? They don’t want to be next. And when you’re afraid of being cast out of the only community you feel connected to, sometimes it feels safer to just stay quiet and go along with it.

There’s also identity reinforcement. Lily cultivates a space that makes you feel smarter or more morally correct just for agreeing with her. Her brand is steeped in confidence and absolutism: “If you disagree with me, you’re wrong.” It’s seductive, especially if you’re young or uncertain or trying to find your footing in the world. And once you internalize her worldview, any criticism can start to feel like a personal attack — not just on her, but on you. So even when the red flags start piling up, there’s a strong incentive to discredit the critics rather than engage with the criticism.

Ultimately, it’s about control. Lily doesn’t just control the discourse — she controls how people feel about her. She does this through fear, charisma, deflection, and selective affection. You’re either in line, or you’re out. And a lot of people stay in line because the thought of being out — of being painted as a "stalker," a "parasite," or a "bad faith actor" — is scarier than just swallowing your discomfort and sticking around.

I say all of this not to judge anyone who’s still in her orbit. I’ve been there. I understand how someone can get pulled into it and how hard it is to untangle yourself once you’re in. But I do believe it’s important to speak honestly about the environment she creates — not to shame those inside, but to offer clarity and validation for those trying to leave, or even just starting to question.

[swimmingwolf59]

I finished reading dungeon meshi a while back and I wanted to ramble about Laois and monsters and autism

HUGE END GAME MANGA SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!

Though it's never explicitly stated in canon as far as I'm aware, Laois is very autistic-coded. (I think that's pretty established in fandom but I will continue anyway lol.) There are a lot of moments throughout the story that demonstrate this, but the biggest one for me was this one with Shuro (this scene was actually pretty painful for me to watch as someone who is also probably on the spectrum and has experienced this lol):

Laois completely misreads Shuro's feelings and actions, missing cues that Shuro at least assumes most people would understand. I think this is a pretty clear tell that Laois is somewhere on the autism spectrum, or at the very least it shows that social interactions are not in any way easy for him.

I think this ties into his fascination with monsters. He's definitely hyper-fixated on them, and if you've ever met an autistic person with a hyper-fixation, you can bet your ass that person knows everything there is to know about that hyper-fixation lol. But I think part of why he's so drawn to them is also because he can easily understand them. He grew up around animals (and monsters in this series are essentially wild animals), which makes them familiar, and monsters have much more defined behavior patterns that he can study and learn and use to interact with them successfully. Laois talks about this often - and a great example of this I think is the living armor fight. Laois analyzes the monster's behavior, figures out its weak points, and fights and defeats it successfully, something that I don't think he could've done easily against a human opponent.

So let's look at the chapter where Laois decides to try and defeat the winged lion by becoming the lord of the dungeon.

I think this is a key part of this whole arc. Laois doesn't think he has any desires because all previous dungeon lords that the story goes into detail about were focused on humans. Thistle's whole motivation was to keep the golden kingdom and Delgal safe - his main desires were that no harm would ever come to them. Mithrun's desire was to live happily with the person he loved, something he couldn't do in real life. And Marcille too wanted to eliminate life span differences between the races so that she wouldn't be alone, so that her friends would live and stay by her side for her whole life.

Laois on the other hand doesn't really care about society (to Kabru's continued horror lol). I think a lot of that is because he has trouble understanding and connecting with people in general, which has to be frustrating for someone who absorbs knowledge so readily, and because people have hurt him in the past. Therefore, since everyone around him is constantly telling him he shouldn't care about monsters and people are what matter, he can't fall for the winged lion's tricks, right? Because he doesn't have any desires when it comes to people (I do think it's funny that he seems to have forgotten about Falin in this part lol, but I digress).

But Laois DOES have desires about monsters.

So when he's driven to a choice between the monster world and the human world, of course he's going to pick monsters.

But I think this is also why he was able to win against the winged lion, and why literally no one else could have.

I'm fairly certain that Laois didn't actually plan the whole "I'll trick the winged lion into stealing my body and letting me become a monster so I can eat his desires" thing, at least based on his reaction when Kabru asks him this LOL.

But I do think that Laois's understanding of monsters and passion for monsters led perfectly to that situation. With how hyper-fixated Laois is on monsters, I think he saw the winged lion's ability to eat desires, and the effects that had on his victims, and thought, "Wow, that's super cool! That's definitely something the strongest monster would be able to do!" Because of that, he added it to his sketch of the strongest monster. All that was left to do was poof that strongest monster into existence, and we've seen from the shapeshifter fight that Laois is not above getting on his enemy's level.

Laois is always thinking about the world from a monster's perspective. What is a particular monster's role in the ecosystem? How do its adaptations drive its survival and the type of prey it consumes and how it consumes them? And what else could kill a monster at the top of the food chain but another monster with similar abilities that's also at the top of the food chain (like how wolves are mostly only killed by other wolves, if we take humans out of the equation)? Because Laois understands all of this, he was able to analyze the winged lion, understand what put him at the top of the food chain, and meet him on his own field. (Which makes it even more beautiful story-telling wise imo that Laois is a literal monster in the final fight.)

And I think that's why he was able to win, and why I don't think anyone else in the story could've. Only an autistic person hyper-fixated on monsters could defeat a demon at its own game, and I love that so fucking much lol.

[karikarasuno]

I'm the Scorpio stelium girly and holy shit you were spot on with everything, especially with the sag moon ╰(ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥ ╰)

If you don't mind me asking, what go you into astrology? and if your comfy what are your big six?

also if you were still curious about my chart I'll put it here (maybe there's and answer as to why I love Zoro and Ace so much lol)

astrology actually found me when i was in a pretty dark place. it allowed me to seek answers and meaning for things that were lost to me. it also helped me connect with my spiritual side which was something i had lost in myself. it allowed me to discover purpose and it also challenged me to understand on a really deep and minute level who i am as a person. there's a type of psychology behind astrology that people like to dismiss, but i have gone toe to toe w my doctorate in psychology bestie when it comes to human behavior. it's just pattern recognition with a healthy dose of intuition i swear.

my big six makes me laugh bc it has required me to do a lot of healing work and i tell ppl all the time that if i was a man to just run away bc my placements are a little cuckoo, but i really do love them.

i am a scorpio sun (love her), a libra moon (love her). my aries rising and i have some beef. for years i thought i was a pisces rising which felt really right for me at the time and then i saw my birth certificate and put in that time (it was only a 30min difference mind you) and i was suddenly an aries rising.... the crash out i had over this could've and should've caused a forest fire. i literally sobbed about it in the shower like "i am NOT an aries rising" which in hindsight is a VERY aries rising ass thing to do. so yes i adore her now, but she causes me a lot of trouble sometimes lmao

but my libra moon wrangles her very well bc she cares about perception and i can't be going off on bitches all the time. that's just not ladylike. i also meet very few aries risings its so odd but then i found out we're one of the rarer rising placements which is for the best bc we're a lot to deal with.

i am a sagitarrius mercury. which is why i love love love learning things esp in the esoteric/philosophical realm and then word vomiting everything i know to anyone who's willing to listen. i also don't sugar coat things which has gotten me into trouble a few times. ppl also think i'm funny when i'm being serious and i blame her for this.

i'm a scorpio venus just like you hehe. and a virgo mars (scaryyyy). i have really intense control issues and i'm pretty chill about most things EXCEPT for when something interrupts my daily routine i literally lose my mind. i'm working on it bc it causes me unnecessary stress and anxiety. but i've been trying to work out more so she is who i go to when i need to establish a good workout/diet regimen bc she's STRICT. she's my fucking chart ruler as well so we clash often.

as for your chart !!! that sun and mercury in your 12h is pretty killer and not in a bad way. i find it super interesting. i think your words hold a lot of power so wield them wisely. the 12h deals with the subconscious and unseen. you're probably really good at getting to the bottom of things and you don't really have to go searching for them. your scorpio sun in the 12h makes you incredibly introspective and potentially a v spiritual person. you find light and comfort in darkness. you're not afraid of what lurks in the dark bc you don't have to be. you're your own flashlight and i think that's really cool and inspiring.