#vampire attachment theory

[chthonic-cassandra]

thinking again, as I often do, about the peculiarity of my own internal landscape and my weird decoy layer of attachment patterns/etc concealing the whole other set of them which is actually the one most profoundly shaping me.

[ajarofpickledtears]

when you have 30 siblings (some of which have died of old age), 2 children, 52 nieces and nephews, and 25 grand-nieces and -nephews

[laniidae-passerine]

people think the theories are getting too crazy well I don’t think we’re getting crazy enough. we need weirder shit. Armand wasn’t Alice. Louis was Alice. how does that work? it doesn’t. but it’s only Tuesday and I can’t day drink rn so we’re gonna work with this until the weekend

[sparrows4bats]

Jondami Addams Family AU

Damian had always been off to the civilians of Gotham. He is stoic, over formal, and polite. As he grows older, he becomes more otherworldly.

Green eyes that almost glow in the dark, an uncanny ability to be aware at all times and inhumanely fast reflexes, many whisper that Damian Wayne is something other than human.

Only to see him standing across from them smiling.

But as intense as the youngest Wayne is, he is also captivating. Graceful, beautiful, and unattainable. Damian Wayne glides around the halls with only a few friends that when he changes his voice just so listen without question.

There are theories he may be a vampire. But the people of Gotham don't care as long as he doesn't feed on them.

Jon Kent, while perfectly normal and affable on the surface, is unintentionally unsettling. The boy is tall and handsome, but sometimes, if you look long enough at him, you realise he doesn't blink. For minutes, hours even.As if he has momentarily forgotten. Sometimes, he doesn't even breathe.

Jon is happy and excited by life, finding joy in strange places. It's not morbid persay, but he laughs at Lex Luthor attacks and gets excited at aloen invasions. He is the first to offer to go back for hurt classmates or, as he grows older, jokingly challenges people to duel him.

When taken up on his offer, Jon produces two swords from seemingly nowhere and fences them with a wild grin.

He always wins. Performing gravity defying stunts and viscous parries.

Even when someone tries to hurt him, he smiles, seemingly unaffected.

When asked where he got the sword. Jon will dreamily sigh and say his darling gave it to him.

Jon Kent is nice but definitely very odd. Metropolis figures they have bigger problems to worry about.

When Damian and Jon fall in love, it shocks people because, in a lot of ways, they are a mismatched couple.

Jon towers over Damian in soft colours and grins, while Damian is all sharp edges and black designer items. Jon laughs and shouts, while Damian merely raises his brow at anything that happens before him.

But there is no denying that they absolutely adore each other.

They are attached to each other at all times, Jon grasping and kissing his partner at the smallest provocation. He calls the youngest Wayne pet names, whispering praises into his skin while others look on, going do far as to start confessing his love like a prayer at Damians feet.

Damian accepts the affection with a smirk. Purring his own teasing and loving words at his boyfriend. Dragging his hand over his chest and staring at him as if he is his the very centre of his universe.

At particular moments, Damian speaks in Arabic, causing Jon to almost swoon and kiss Damians hand in a way that makes others look away immediately.

The level of love would be cringe worthy in any other couple, but between the two, in all their oddity, it feels natural.

Unfortunately, neither ever gets more normal. In fact, it gets worse as they grow older.

Their house, according to neighbours, is full of strange sounds at all hours. With 'family', most of whom look nothing like either man arrive and stay seemingly at random.

When asked who they are, you get a vague answer of sibling, uncle, or cousin. There are a few family members who look suspiciously like well-known villains but what they don't know for sure probably won't kill them.

Some visitors to the house look like frankenstiens monster or a zombie.

The neighbours start to ignore the number of people who are visible lying bleeding when they know on the Wayne Kent door.

They ask even fewer questions when they don't see those people leave.

Then there is the garden, while the houses around them boast manicured lawns and perfect fences. The Wayne Kent home features climbing vines, an overgrown patch of weeds and larger plants that the neighbourhood children swear have teeth when you get too close.

The plants, carnivorous or not, are nothing compared to the animals and pets that now occupy the sprawling grounds.

There are cows, turkeys, and possibly more than one dragon. Though few believe that.

Bats fly out of the attic, and large birds appear on Damians shoulder Everytime he goes outside. One little girl said she saw a tiger once, but for their own sanity, her parents disregarded her story.

Most mystifying of all are the children. The Wayne Kent twins appeared one day seemingly out of thin air.

When asked whether they were adopted Jon Kent said no.

When asked if they had a surrogate, Damian looked impassive and answered "in a fashion" before gilding away.

The twins had Damians green eyes and Jons curls and grew to be just as peculiar as their fathers. All too intelligent stares and a love of pointy and dangerous things.

Some tried to make shining jokes but were quickly shushed by nervous friends and relatives who remembered the unexplained misfortune that followed anyone who crossed the Wayne-Kents over the years.

The Wayne Kents are very welcoming to anyone who comes into their home. But very odd.

[deadsetobsessions]

Green Lantern hovered in the doorway of the med bay. He’d been summoned, but he had no idea what for.

“You know, spooky, some of us have lives to get back to. Not everyone can exist off of just work and blood or whatever,” Hal poked fun at Batman, who rubbed at his jaw tiredly. Hal blinked, stamping down the guilt that arose at Batsy’s uncharacteristic show of any emotion other than stone cold rationality or exasperation or anger. At least they’ve moved past grunts. That just lends credence to Hal’s theory of Batman being an immortal, like Vandal Savage. Batman could totally pass for a caveman, he’s got the grunts down, for sure.

“Still not a vampire. We found the Ghost King. The one the GIW was trying to hide in their records.”

“Well, shit.” Hal’s expression flattened, remembering the unsanctioned government branch that violated the Meta Rights act to a degree where even Amanda Waller had washed her hands of them. Bats had found evidence that they were experimenting on a child when a “source” had hacked into the base and begged them to find the child. Phantom, the hacker had claimed, who had managed to destroy the portal to the Infinite Realms

Batman had tried to boot the guy out of the system, until the hacker told them Phantom was the King of the Infinite Realms.

That got Constantine terrified, which urged Batman into a full hunting mode to track down the king. Mostly in part because Constantine said something along the lines of, “If the King dies, the Infinite Realms will wage war and decimate us. And considering they’re the realm of the dead, we’d lose so badly, even the demons won’t help us out for our bloody souls.”

Granted, he didn’t have that terrible British accent Hal attached to his voice every time the Green Lantern thought about the sad trench coat wizard, but the point still stood.

“He’s not fully conscious due to… his injuries, but the moments where he was, he reacted best to the color green.”

Hal did not want to know what kind of creepy stalker things Batman did to get that knowledge.

“Oh, great. You called me because I’m green,” he said to Batman as he floated into the med bay. “I can be green. I’m amazing at being green.”

Even with the sarcastic tone, Hal made sure to up his lantern aura, glowing a bright neon green. It wouldn’t do to help start a war if he wasn’t green enough.

Hal looked at the Ghost King, and yeah, he could see why Bats was so off his stoic face game today. Because the Ghost King looked like a teenager, and Bats is a bleeding heart and everyone knows it.

Hal waved away Batman, “Go back to Gotham and drink your true blood or whatever. You look like you’ve seen the sun too much.”

Translation: go home, you look tired.

Batman nodded, in thanks, and left to sleep (probably. Hal has never caught the man doing something so… plebeian). Hal is left playing babysitter. To an inter dimensional being that could- probably more like “would,” considering the live dissection he went through at the hands of humans- destroy their entire planet and/or universe. Another Tuesday for the Justice League.

[phosphorusab]

My theory is that the influence of Remmick’s hivemind is being a certain proximity near him. Which is why he doesn’t send Bo into town to fetch Lisa, because Bo would have came to his senses if he was allowed to leave. He could have also sent half of his vampiric followers to jump the Klan and half to loiter outside the Juke Joint, but he didn’t.

I think that’s also why Joan and Burt were practically attached to his hip before he started turning other people. They also have No Personality. The other vampires under Remmick’s control - Mary, Stack, Bo and Cornbread - still have their personalities and attitudes that they had before, even if they are being influenced by Remmick. But Joan and Burt are completely lobotomized. The only time they really speak (singing not counted) is to repeat or reinforce something Remmick said. I’m Not Convinced of their militant antiracist conversion, like Remmick would have the audience believe, I think they only act that way because Remmick refuses to let them leave his sight.

[elementroar]

Analysis behind the backstory and personal story arcs of A.B.A. and Paracelsus (part 1)

Sorry for the people who waited. Technical and real life delays and all that. On the positive, I happened to run into new resources in the past two days that have helped lining up the facts easier.

Anyway, I originally wanted to compress all the lore into a single post, but I find it’s so much more massive once you really dig into the analysis between the story across multiple mediums, the in-game animations and interactions etc. To make this more readable for you all and to make creating these posts faster, I’m going to separate them up into parts that focus on different facets of their relationship and lore as I progress through them.

This first part goes into their origins, and I hope this big post helps to thoroughly explain who/what A.B.A. and Paracelsus are, their backstories prior to STRIVE, and my own analysis sprinkled on top. I want to try to keep the info/lore dump minimal and focused, so if I mention a character without elaborating, I’ll leave a link but if I’m not elaborating more, it’s because they’re not relevant to A.B.A/Paracelsus' stories that much.

Related links:

Analysis of Paracelsus' initial bloodlust and its longlasting effects on A.B.A (Part 2)

This is the "Why ABA and Paracelsus can feel horny" lore/theory post

Flament Nagel - Paracelsus’ true form theory

The Red King and White Queen alchemical concept in A.B.A and Paracelsus’ relationship

The beginning with A.B.A.

First off, to introduce their individual origins, it’s easiest to start with A.B.A. She’s a homunculus, an artificial lifeform created by a scientist in his mansion, which was located in the mountains of a region called Frasco or Flask. But before she was ‘born’, her creator had been taken away by the military for his skills in creating artificial life, and so A.B.A. woke up alone.

Despite this, within the 10 years she spent alone in the mansion she was able to learn to read, write, and even create some alchemical magic (seen in some of her attacks in games before -STRIVE-). It’s assumed either she was created with a set of memories and skills, or she naturally learns very quickly. It’s probably due to reading leftover journals and research materials that she even learnt her creator’s name was Paracelsus.

Technically, A.B.A. could’ve left the manor quite easily, there was even a village not far from them. However, she understood that she knew nothing about the world outside and was scared to leave the safety of the manor by venturing outside to explore the unknown world. But she did yearn for freedom and to leave Frasco, so she took to fixating on keys, which she found fascinating in being able to unlock doors to different places.

In the last bit of her 10 years in Frasco, A.B.A would accidentally cross paths with the hidden the demon axe Flament Nagel (which she would later rename to ‘Paracelsus’ in honour of her creator, or just cos that’s the only other name she actually knew).

What’s a demon axe doing here anyway?

So what is Paracelsus? He is what’s known as a magical foci, which are objects or even people that get a soul or a collection of memories/emotions/desires attached to them, which eventually leads to them gaining sentience and often supernatural abilities. They draw from the Backyard, which is basically where the information that makes up all reality is stored in the Guilty Gear world, and also the source of magic. This is the origin of ‘demons’ within the GG world, like Paracelsus.

The story of how Paracelsus/Flament Nagel ended up in Frasco actually involves the ancient Nightwalker (technically not a vampire but he's basically a vampire without the bad stuff) known as Slayer.

Now Slayer is this incredibly old, incredibly strong vampire Nightwalker, who nonetheless is a very nice guy who doesn’t need to feed on regular people because his wife, Sharon, is a deathless woman that he can feed on indefinitely without worrying about her dying.

Because of his immense age (AFAIK he’s the oldest of the main GG cast) and overwhelming power (he always holds back in-game), he has very insightful observations of Paracelsus and A.B.A.

The following screenshots are excerpts taken from the English transcript (available here) translated from the Night of Knives Vol.2 audio drama CD (you can listen to it here), and are from the perspective of Slayer recounting his encounters with Paracelsus and A.B.A.

Sometime near the end of the 100 year long war between Gears and humans known as the Crusades, Slayer was roaming a battlefield and came across a mountain of corpses of both Gears and humans. In the middle of it was a wandering blood covered warrior that was swinging an axe wildly. After confronting the man, Slayer realized that it was the axe that was the true master, the man had already lost his mind and was under its full control.

That axe called itself Flament Nagel aka the Flaming Nail, or the Sanguine Gale. I'll still be referring to him as Paracelsus at this point in time though.

Now magical foci start off simple-minded, only repeating small word fragments, and evolve over time to become more intelligent and sapient. At this point, young Paracelsus was a demon axe who had just gained sentience on that battlefield. Hot-headed and hungry for blood, and wanting to prove his combat superiority, he challenged Slayer and got curb stomped. Slayer was disappointed in how primitive Paracelsus still was in mind and soul, so he left him there to rust.

However eventually, Paracelsus was picked up from that battlefield and was sent to the alchemist Paracelsus, creator of A.B.A. We don’t know if the alchemist knew what the demon axe was, or whether he even requested him specifically for research. But the alchemist ultimately didn’t let Paracelsus out, not letting him take control over him and hiding him somewhere in the depths of his mansion.

(Inaccurate information removed, updating with A.B.A.'s JP GG World entry from XRD)

It would be after A.B.A.’s 10 year long isolation that she decided for reasons unknown, to leave the mansion and explore the outside world. By pure chance, she comes across Paracelsus, who because kinda resembled a key, she immediately picked up and she fell in love with him and decided they were married from then on.

Becoming her key

It's always been known that Paracelsus has some form of empathic abilities, and that he could tell that A.B.A. was fixated on keys and assumed the shape of a giant key to entice her to wield him. This was also the first ‘manipulation’ that Paracelsus admitted he had done to A.B.A. during their heart-to-heart talk.

It’s been further clarified in this recent interview, that it wasn’t so much Paracelsus deliberately taking the form of a key to attract ABA, but because ABA had been so heavily fixated on keys that she saw Paracelsus as a key straight away. That image she had of him as a key seemed to immediately imprint itself on him the moment she touched him, because of his true nature as “an axe (that) transforms into the owner’s image” of what his wielder wants him to be.

Slayer actually did mention this was likely the case over 20 IRL years ago in the audio drama CD, when he observed Paracelsus behaviour with A.B.A. in their second encounter.

Because A.B.A. never sees Paracelsus as a weapon, Paracelsus began to change to fit her ideal of what she saw him as, to become something more than just a weapon, and allowing Paracelsus to truly change and evolve physically and emotionally.

It’s important to note, Paracelsus isn’t bound to his wielder, and he doesn’t HAVE to allow this to happen either. Despite being dragged around by A.B.A. and acting like he has no autonomy; he actually has all the power to stop her from the start.

As Slayer notes, Para still has the power to completely take over A.B.A. 's mind and force her to do what he wants if he is truly unhappy. However he has never even threatened A.B.A. with this ability, and if not for Slayer knowing his past, no one would know Paracelsus actually can do this.

Whether consciously or subconsciously, Para was becoming more than just a demon axe from the moment he met A.B.A., and in his heart of hearts, he was begrudgingly accepting of his then situation-ship with her.

Fast forward to STRIVE and it's shown that he still continues to evolve to fulfill her 'vision' of what he is. When described as becoming more key-like, it's more obvious when you place both his old and new design side-by-side.

Notably, the blade part of his axe form has gotten smaller by STRIVE, just as he has sworn off violence and bloodshed by STRIVE.

It's even shown in how A.B.A. wields him., especially when Para partially possess or influences A.B.A. in his Muroha mode in the old games (mechanically this is the Jealous Mode in STRIVE). A.B.A. would wield him like a proper 'axe' blade-first in XX/ACCENT CORE. In STRIVE, since A.B.A. is now the dominant one in Jealous Rage mode, she doesn't wield him like an axe and now wields him by...bashing his head into people.

(Also I'll be going over the in-game animations and what they convey in a future post, don't you worry! You can view the comparison compilation here first.)

This even is shown in how A.B.A. uses Paracelsus as an actual key in her Overdrive "Keeper of the Key", which is a new move for her.

If we go further, I have speculated in this semi-crack theory that due to A.B.A. also interjecting her ideal of Paracelsus being her spouse over the years, that him actually 'reacting' to her advances now could also be an example of his evolution.

Even if he's trying REAL hard not to.

Hope this was an enjoyable read, let me know if you have any suggestions for improving readability or other stuff. Feel free to ask me questions through the inbox in the mean time that I'm working on the next part.

The next part is going to be analyzing and comparing Paracelsus' XX/ACCENT CORE Muroha mode to STRIVE's Jealous Rage mode, which has quite a bit of detail from comparing their effects on A.B.A. in in-game sprites/animations, plus how it reflects on the change in their power dynamics between games.

Edit: Part 2 available here

[karkkidoesartsandcrafts]

I made a doll

After making historical doll clothing, I got this idea that what if I made a doll myself. I was coveting a doll I could sew clothes for and then pose them for the clothing, but I don't really like that much of any of the design of commercial posable dolls and I'm broke so I can't in good conscience buy an artisan ball jointed doll (and I anyway don't like how thin most of them are). So I did the reasonable thing - I bought very cheep air dry clay (I do have "normal" clay but I don't have access to ceramic oven and it takes much longer to dry it and burn it etc, and I was literally just trying this out) and just started making it myself. I didn't plan ahead because it felt very overwhelming since I have never customized dolls beyond making them clothing and repainting their faces nor have I ever even owned a ball jointed doll. I went with the learning through mistakes rather than theory. The route I most often take. So just bear with me (real doll makers I'm sorry for the cringe).

Without further ado, here's Aune, my vampire OC (from my wip Be All My Sins).

I wanted to make her look like a porcelain doll, because I love their aesthetics. I did lean towards more realism than they were historically like though. Here's all her body parts before painting. (Some of the pieces in the picture are not actually fully smoothed and sanded, but it is right before I started painting the face. My brain just works in a way, where I jump around between the working stages. I'm very much incapable of doing anything organized and straight forwardly.) I have been wanting to do clay sculpting for a long time (it was so fun, when I was a kid in afternoon art school), and this was small scale enough to be manageable so it was so much fun. I will be definitely making more.

Here's her face before and after the paint. I'm quite happy on how the face sculpt turned out, but the paint job was a bit messy. As I mentioned I have done couple of repaints of doll faces, but I'm still not very good at it. When I paint traditionally I'm not often this detail oriented and painting on a 3D surface feels very different.

Here she is before and after getting her hair. I made her hair from wool yarn just by unraveling the yarn. It's the first time I made doll hair and I didn't want to buy proper doll hair for this or learn to curl it (I don't even have any curling irons or literally any other hair shaping appliances than a hair dryer, which I don't even use for my hair but for painting with water colors). It doesn't fall down nicely, but it has roughly the look I was going for.

Because I didn't plan at all ahead, the proportions are a little wonky (her arms especially are too thin imo and he legs could have a little more shape too) and the joints are not great. Worst of the joints was the hips, which attach to the torso in a weird way. The biggest issue that I had was not taking into account how much the varnish would add to the size. It's not a visible amount, but enough to make fit of the joints very poor and basically making it very hard for her to stand. (Her index fingers already broke of when she fell from my desk after I had made her stand there djfkjds. I was able to glue them back.)

Here's couple more picture of her!

It's not perfect at all, but I do still love her if only because it's such a cool feeling to be able to just have a lump of clay and two weeks later have a posable doll. It somehow feels magical to be just able to make a real physical thing from scratch.

[danieyells]

hello danie hiii!!<333 what's your thought on Rui's response to Ed? the one when Ed said he's saving his life essence for Rui? the vessel part really really made me question things.

i think it is safe to assume that by "vessel" he meant an instrument for something. could it be that in order to stay immortal, Ed transfers his soul from one body to another and this time, he's choosing Rui's body as his new home? or do you think that it meant something entirely different? thank you for the response, i love reading your theories!!<33

I don't think it's that. I mean I can't imagine Ed wanting to use a body that he can't touch people with. He's a vampire, not a demon or spirit or something, so I don't think he transfers his soul in any way. In Japanese Ed says 「俺の命は、 君に分けてあげるために取っておいてるんだ」 "I'm saving my life force so I can split it with you". Ed is saying that his life force is equally Rui's in his eyes. He can't lose too much of his life because that's less for him to share with Rui to keep them together. I know that sounds like shippy brain but I think that it's supposed to be ship tease-y on top of showing Ed's attachment to someone who might actually not have to die and leave him(and that Rui isn't really interested in playing that part.)

I think Rui just means that keeping him/his body(「入れ物」 "container") alive is pointless. He doesn't want to live that long and keeping him around that long isn't worth doing. Alternatively Rui knows he'll live on even if his body dies--maybe he'll become a proper reaper without his human body?--and that Ed keeping his body alive at all costs is a stupid thing to do when he's going to keep existing without it.

I'm glad you enjoy my theorizing--I enjoy theorizing with everyone too even if I don't always agree!! It's a lot of fun even if I haven't been doing it much lately :'D

[chthonic-cassandra]

I know I asked a version of this question a while ago, but I am curious again, so:

Would love to hear your paradigmatic examples of texts (books, movies, tv, fic for any fandom, whatever) handling questions of what I like to call vampire attachment theory (tag) - vampires' relationships with their makers/sires, with their vampire siblings, etcetera.

I would be interested to hear about texts which either shaped your own perception on this topic or that you think do something specific and interesting with it; specific details or examples of character relationships are welcome.

[ludolka]

Awful upsetting news everyone

I read around and turns out modern day vampires would be able to see their reflection in mirrors,, old mirrors were made with silver and that doesn’t mix well with vampires. Modern mirrors are made with aluminum, which wouldn’t affect vampires

But I’ve decided to ignore this and go with the other theory of “vampires can’t see their reflection bc they have no soul and mirrors show soul” or something like that. Let’s uh,, not dwell too much on how that’d imply every object has a soul-

I usually like the more scientific takes and explanations of folklore and the paranormal, but I’ve grown emotionally attached to the idea of Grian helping Mumbo get ready, so that’s staying in the AU

[eternalpassions]

No one talks about how Kaname used to be Yuuki’s confidant. They used to be really close. He asks her what happened because she used to tell him everything.

But that came to an end because of one life changing moment.

When Yuuki caught Kaname cheating on her lol jk. When she caught him drinking blood from Ruka. Which triggered her early memories of almost being killed by a vampire. Kaname did this to protect her from herself. Because before this event she would’ve done anything for him, followed her anywhere. So he needed her to be more aware of her safety and so he had to instill some fear and distance for him into her.

My theory is Kaname also did this to put emotional distance between them because he has trauma from the hooded woman. He is afraid to get close to another woman and truly fall in love again because of what happened with the hooded woman. So in order to avoid the same fate of losing Yuuki to dangers of vampires and avoid the terrror of falling in love and losing someone again, he pushes Yuuki away.

This physical and emotional distance is the tragedy of the story because it led to Yuuki seeking that closeness with zero and that’s how we ended up with the rest of the story and vkm. Makes you wonder what would’ve happened if Kaname never pushed Yuuki away that day. They’d still be close and she wouldn’t feel the need to seek out zero to find that closeness with someone else. That attachment to zero wouldn’t have existed if Kaname never pushed her away that day.

However, I’m not saying she stopped loving Kaname that day. Her love was as strong as ever but it also put distance between them and left and opening for someone else to join their relationship 💀

[tiredandoptimistic]

My reviews of the Careful of Books novellas

The spoiler-free gist is that I really enjoyed all four novellas and definitely recommend reading them if you can. I left the majority of my thoughts below the cut in case you want to avoid spoilers, though I avoided using many specific plot details.

A Sea Change: Oh Matthew Fairchild you are so special to me. I loved getting to see him again, especially dipping into his POV. He's just as delightful as ever, and it was great getting to see a version of Matthew who's past the worst of his addiction and depression but still hasn't figured out what will come next. I also really enjoyed how his grief over Christopher was handled. Kit is one of my all-time top TSC characters so I was definitely disappointed that ChoT didn't have more mourning for him, but I 100% get that it wouldn't have fit the flow of the narrative and also these characters were dealing with a lot of crazy plot stuff so it would have taken a bit for the loss to fully sink in and the grieving process to begin in earnest. Showing Matthew affected by it in the long run felt very appropriate. Plus, every mention of fire messages was like a little memorial to him. I also loved getting little glimpses of other TLH characters in Matthew's thoughts, since he may be alone on the ocean but he'll always carry his friends with him. Plus, Oscar was there! Get me a t-shirt that says I <3 Oscar Wilde, Hero Dog. I think the plot was a lot of fun too. I was glad to see Matthew put his deductive reasoning to use, and I really like that the immediately suspicious downworlders weren't actually to blame for everything. It's always nice when TSC commits to showing that downworlders are people just like Shadowhunters or mundanes. Sidenote, but I can't help but wonder if the offer to turn Matthew into a vampire was a reference to the old fan theories that he'd become a downworlder by the end of TLH. I liked Sylvain and his relationship with Matthew well enough, but he's not a new favorite or anything. It felt a little jarring how quickly they got together, since CC usually goes for more slowburn ships, but it still fit the flow of the story. Ultimately I just wish that we got more time with them, but considering that the whole story was under 80 pages I'd definitely call it a success. I think I'll always be a little disappointed that we didn't get the full Matthew bindup (like I'll always be disappointed that we didn't get The Secret Treasons), but I trust CC's judgement and if she didn't have a full bindup worth of stories to tell then I'm glad we at least got one excellent novella.

A Scandal at Undershaw: This one was a lot of fun! Probably my favorite of the non-Matthew novellas, just on account of the vibes. It managed to keep a certain level of gravitas attached to the characters without taking itself too seriously, and the absurdity of "modern high schooler Sherlock Holmes who still acts Like That" was played into without feeling mocking. I like that the story acknowledges how Sherlock's behaviors (getting so wrapped up in his mysteries that he doesn't consider other people's boundaries) can be harmful, but it never demonizes Sherlock or acts like he's an emotionless asshole. I also like this version of John and think that he has a lot of personality while still falling into the traditional Watson role of following Holmes's zanniness. Irene was fun, and I like that she and Sherlock completely match each other's energies. I was just kind of along for the ride with the mystery, and I think it was totally serviceable. All the pieces fit together and it helped move the plot forward, but it wasn't really what I was there for. I will say, it's a little funny to me that CC published her high school AU Johnlock fic and they don't even get together. That plays into something I felt overall with this story; that it's just part one of many (though I have no idea if CC has plans to continue it). Even though the mystery is revolved by the end, all the characters clearly have a lot more to do in their personal stories. Now that they're a bit settled (and unsettled) at Undershaw, I'd love to see what they get up to next and how their arcs continue to evolve! I'd totally read more novellas (or even full novels) about this version of the Sherlock Holmes universe.

Wendy Darling: While the last story felt like part one in an anthology, this one felt like episode one of a TV show (which, to be fair, is kinda what it is). The script format was interesting, and I didn't have any issues with it though I admittedly prefer CC's prose. I like the setup of "dark academia Peter Pan" as she calls it in the introduction, and the lore of this universe is certainly intriguing. My one issue is that I don't really feel as though anything is resolved by the end. I want to read the rest of this book or watch the rest of this show, but as far as I know that isn't going to happen. Wendy, Peter, and James are all fun and engaging characters who I'd be down to spend more time with, but I don't feel especially connected to any of them. I'm mostly here for the plot and lore, which, as I've said, doesn't feel complete. It's all setup with only a couple bits of payoff. Still worth the read, but more of a vibes experience than anything else.

In Fire Foretold: This one was an interesting read because I know that CC is planning on developing it into a full series. I think the concept of a reverse portal story is a lot of fun right off the bat, though I admittedly wasn't grabbed by the worldbuilding of the fantasy portion (which might be down to my personal preferences). Once the story jumped forward in time to the real world, I quite liked Alix as a character and enjoyed the ominous impositions of fantasy on her (often grim) reality, though this is another story where the plot took precedence over the characters for me. I'm still intrigued by the cast so far though, and I'm especially glad to see a prominent F/F friendship, since CC has never been great at those. I hope that Julia will get to play a more major role in the full series (like Simon in TMI), though Bram and Corwin seem cool too. In the end it's another story where I'm left wanting more, only in this case I know that I'll get it.

So there you have it! Careful of Books is definitely my favorite Seasons of Shadowhunters book so far, and it leaves me excited to see what will come in Better in Black. Now I'm gonna go reread Nothing But Shadows, because A Sea Change has me missing the merry thieves.

[anonymous-chicken-was-taken]

There is a man named Stanford Pines.

Just about anyone in the scientific community knows his name, and most know his face. It would be hard not to. It's plastered on magazines, on websites, on informational guides about the Institute of Oddology. Stanford Pines is synonymous with the word odd, peculiar, strange; it takes very little digging to find that.

Yet, when it comes to actually meeting the man? No matter who you ask, the answer is almost always no, they have not met him. Everyone knows of him, but nobody knows him. They see his face, they hear his name, they read his papers, they know his arguments. A lucky few even converse with him through email, or letters, or phone conversations. However, meeting him face to face seems to be an occurrence even rarer than the beasts he writes essays about.

Sometimes, he makes a public appearance. Sometimes, someone will see him walking about in some small, secluded space. His co-founder follows him like a shadow, never long taking his eyes away, full as they are of both care and peculiar caution.

Even more unheard of, sometimes, Stanford Pines will do something that interacts with the public. Once every few years, he will appear for an interview, or a photo, or something else to please the magazines that fill up his inbox. McGucket will be with him, every single time, and afterwards there will be whispers on the very internet he created from the people he'd spoken to. By all accounts, Stanford Pines is a very subdued, polite gentleman. Someone who is very intelligent and awkward, and attached to his co-founder at the hip. A man who is followed at all times by an army of personal security and NDAs. "For safety," McGucket will say as Pines' face goes dark. No one ever explains who's being kept safe, or from what.

To the students at the Institute of Oddology, it's even stranger. Nowhere does it say that seeing or meeting the core founder is guaranteed -- in fact, in comparison to other institutes, it's hardly even advertised that he's there -- but it's still surprising. If Stanford Pines is seen at all, it's almost always from behind a screen. Some students graduate without ever having seen him in-person. He does not attend events. He does not greet families. He does not make speeches unless he's being projected on a screen, a stark contrast to McGucket and his exaggerated mannerisms as his very real and present form hovers nearby. He holds no office on the entire campus. It is not unheard of to see him taking a walk with his co-founder, but it's rare enough to be shocking.

Rumors fly. Some are silly, absent things that would seem implausible to anyone who hasn't spent time in Gravity Falls. He's a vampire. He's a robot made by McGucket. He's a whole eldritch entity. Some rumors are more serious, whispered when his reclusive nature rings suspicious among the masses. None of them change the facts.

Perhaps it would make more sense if his co-founder was similar. However, Fiddleford McGucket is the polar opposite of Stanford Pines. He responds to interviewers asking about his computers. He makes speeches. He wanders around campus, stopping to chat with anyone who cares to listen. He's amiable and approachable as long as you can get past his rather extreme eccentricities, with an open-door policy and only one question he won't answer. If anyone builds up the guts to ask about Stanford Pines, and why he's so gosh darn reclusive, his only response is a sad, painful smile and a change of subject. In general, however, if one were to ask a given student of the institute where they could find Fiddleford McGucket, the chances are would be they'd be able to relay the information. However, like so much having to do with Stanford Pines, there is always a but.

At least three days a week, Fiddleford McGucket disappears for hours at a time. In theory, this would not be unusual. There's a section of the campus, slightly separate from the rest, dedicated to research. It takes much clearance to get to this area, for it is full of many very dangerous things. Some of the newer students fall under the misconseption that this is where he goes off to. However, there is a secretary at the entrance to this section of the campus, and when McGucket disappears, no amount of asking will get them to respond that he lies within. There is no summary of what he's there for, and there is no estimate of when he'll be back in his office. He is not there. For those hours, it's like he's vanished off the face of the planet.

There is another building seperated from the rest, barely visible through the trees. Tucked far behind the research area of the campus and heavily guarded at all times. No amount of clearance, or ID, or begging, will get anyone in. This place, most know, is where McGucket goes. No one can be certain, but there's a conviction there that this is the truth. It's the same way people know that this is where Stanford Pines resides. In those hours, McGucket disappears to the same nowhere at all that his co-founder lives.

No one tries to get there. Not anymore. There would be no point.

In order to do so, one would have to get into the research zone of campus. Already, this requires more clearance than most students could imagine. From there, one would have to go through a building only staff can open, at the very back of the campus, where only the most dangerous of research is kept. A security officer stands ever-vigilant at a back door leading to a winding pathway, intersected halfway through by a pair of guard stations. Past them lies a towering locked gate, centered in the midst of a towering electric fence. There is no guard station at the gate itself, though guards patrol the perimeter, even though the underbrush is too thick to walk through. There is no visible way to unlock the gate, but if one managed to get through regardless, they would find that the obstacles were still not over. The acre the fences encircle is thick with security, only some of which is human. It's impossible not to get caught, but if somehow, someone did, they would find themselves face to face with the sloped roof and charming wooden exterior so vaguely visible from the more well-trodden paths.

If one were to make it behind the reinforced door and yet one more pair of security guards, they would find nothing of note at all. In fact, were the windows not so thick, and the place not full of rooms with no place in a residence, and the path not so elaborate, and the whole area not so heavily reeking of isolation and uncanniness, one could almost mistake it for a normal home.

Inside, one would find Stanford Pines. Shorter than his head-and-shoulders shot makes him seem, and with a tangible air of melancholy about him that no projection could ever communicate.

Above all, Stanford Pines would appear incredibly alone, with only security, a McGucket Computer, and shelves upon shelves of books for company. If this someone who somehow managed to sneak in got lucky, they would arrive in this not-quite-a-home while McGucket had disappeared to there. They would find the two of them in deep conversation, and Stanford Pines would appear happier and more animated than most any living soul had seen him in decades, content in the company of his one connection; his shadow. Even when they had serious conversations, about the most serious topics in the world, something about him would be just that bit more lively. The visit would end, every time, with McGucket asking the same question. Every time, Pines would shake his head sadly as he responded; would the answer have been different, they both know that McGucket would have been informed long before he arrived.

Upon his co-founder's departure, one would be able to see Stanford Pines either sigh and sink right back into his melancholy, or the energy persist for another handful of hours. One would wonder why he was so reclusive, if he seemed so much brighter when he was among friends. One -- the impressive, unstoppable individual who managed to get into such a heavily monitored area -- would more than likely leave confused.

They wouldn't realize, unless they stayed within the bounds of the not-quite-home until it was far too late, what the hoards of security was designed for. Wouldn't realize that just as much as much as they are meant to keep someone out, they are also meant to keep someone in.

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Proud to announce that instead of just writing 7 sentences, as that's how many votes the winner got, I instead wrote 20 sentences since it got 20% of the votes 💅

My demons continue to hunt me and today they took the form of a writing game tag and won!

Rule is make a 24 hour poll with your WIPs, then write one sentence for each vote the winner gets. Tagged by @fembutchboygirl

For fic references, my ao3 is Tide_Pod_Juul_03 tho not all these are on ao3 yet.

Tagging: I don't actually know rly anyone on here who writes so if u write and u see this I'm tagging you!

[stargirlygirl]

you don’t like writing for raf but he’s your fav?? Make that make sense…

assuming this is you btw^

i could ramble on and on about why i don't like writing for him, but it basically boils down to the complexity of his character.

i've heard the theory that rafayel is the unity of opposing forces, and his myths are about defying fate, no? rafayel is like the taijitu - the yin and yang. he is the co-existence of two contradicting forces and perhaps even more.

he's this flippant, absolute flake when it comes to thomas's events; he's an incredibly talented artist who can get carried away in his works; he hates humanity, but is clingy and begs for mc's attention when she shows it to a cat and not him (tailwag moment). and this is because mc is the love of his life, the reason he sacrificed his people. raf is a lover at his core, but he can be dramatic and eccentric and the rest of it, too.

he's submissive before he is dominant. he is the sea god, but his evol is fire. he tells mc to leave, but proceeds to fall off the couch to make her stay. rafayel is a contradiction to himself, but somehow, the contradiction is united.

infold have created this incredibly complex character who is ultimately a whole. his character is not splintered or in opposition with another part of him. the parts that do contradict each other are somehow glued together, still working in harmony to make rafayel the man he is.

furthermore, i've been playing otomé games on and off for seven years, and in every single game i've played, there has never been a li that comes close to raf's complexity or personality.

for example, from the li's in both ikémen sengoku and ikémen vampire, i would say that rafayel is a combination of yoshimoto and charles (from each respective game). i won't get into it, but these two li's are starkly different and given the same situation, would make incredibly different choices.

and it's because i haven't achieved the skill level necessary to accurately represent a character with so many contradictions, but who is seemingly consistent, that i don't like to write for rafayel. he is my favourite because of how complicated he is, his dramatic and sassy nature, how he lures you in like the siren he is, and how he ultimately makes mc feel so loved because she is his reason for existence.

when a fan reads fanfiction, they deserve to read a piece that is consistent with the character's personality and predictable reactions. we often see raf react with his signature dramatic flare, but how far does that flare go? when does that flare turn into concern or yearning? what if xyz factor is at play, would raf still respond dramatically? or is he whipping out that low business voice? or is he whiny and needy? i'm not at a stage yet where i know the answer to these questions. and i don't want to misrepresent the man that raf is. that's why i'm leaving his fics to the writers that understand him and can execute him well.

as i've said in a previous reply to an anon, the only reason why you framed this question so rudely is because you can hide behind your anonymity. if your username was attached to this post, then i doubt you would be asking me to 'make that make sense' and instead express a genuine curiosity for why my love for raf but decision not to write for him are in opposition.

i hope you can understand now why i've made this decision.