#what do you mean.............. it is relevant...

[anistarrose]

Critical Thinking Questions:

Imagine as many different scenarios as you can where a person might tell someone "aros can still date" or "aces can still have sex." Pick two or more of these scenarios to compare. Does the meaning of these phrases change in different contexts? Do you think every speaker of these phrases has the same intent?

Do you think the topic of this post is an "aroace community" issue, or an "asexual community and aromantic community" issue? Do you understand which one of the above is a broader category?

Imagine a scenario in which an aromantic allosexual might be told that "aromantics can still date." In that context, would that phrase be affirming or delegitimizing? Repeat, but imagine a scenario in which an alloromantic asexual might be told that "asexuals can still have sex." In that context, would that phrase be affirming or delegitimizing? If you would like, you may now revisit your answer to Question 2.

Do you think "Asexuals and aromantics can do whatever they want forever" is contradictory to the statements "asexuals can have sex" or "aromantics can date"? If so, then why? If not, then why might OP prefer the phrasing of "do whatever they want forever"? What might "do whatever they want forever" encapsulate that the other statements do not?

Many users are relating this post to fandoms' treatment of asexual and/or aromantic fictional characters. Do you think people's views of real-life a-specs can influence their treatment of a-spec fictional characters? Conversely, do you think their views of a-spec characters can influence their treatment of real a-spec people?

Is the treatment of real a-spec people or of fictional a-spec characters more important? For the category that you considered less important, do you think the treatment of that category is ever relevant or related to how the more important category is treated? (You may reference your answer from Question 5.) Compared to the more important category, how much discussion do you think the less important category deserves? Do you think it may ever be relevant or important to discuss on posts about the category OP sees as more important?

The sentences "Asexuals can still have sex" and "Aromantics can still date" need to go up on the high shelf for everyone except aces and aros talking about their own experiences. From now on, everyone else has to use the revolutionary new phrase "Asexuals and aromantics can do whatever the fuck they want forever."

[7spaceace7]

“I didn’t know you played regular guitar, too.”

Eddie’s lip quirks up in amusement as his fingers brush against the well-worn letters painted on the smooth wood of his first love. Although, it might be time for a touch up—it’s looking less like slays and more like lays.

“Regular? You mean acoustic?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, acoustic, whatever,” He says like it’s obvious that’s what he meant, and obviously Eddie should know because Steve imagines he knows everything about guitars compared to him. “I thought you just played rock and metal stuff.”

“Au contraire, Stevie Wonder,” Eddie grins at him, “This baby can rock just as well as anything else.”

And then Steve laughs. Actually laughs at Eddie’s stupid joke. Eddie’s fingers pluck a string completely out of tune, and his heart is sputtering a mile a minute from staring at the way Steve’s mouth falls open from the most adorable sound he’s possibly ever heard.

“Stevie Wonder? Really?”

And because he’s also an idiot, the metalhead’s response can only be described as an undignified scoff.

“What, you know him, but not Ozzy?” He hopes Steve still remembers their conversation from the Upside Down where this was even relevant. Mostly he hopes that it just isn’t obvious how Eddie hangs onto every word they’ve ever shared.

Still chuckling a bit, Steve shakes his head. “I told you, man, I’m not much of a music guy. The stuff I listen to probably isn’t your style. It’s more 70s.”

This guy was going to make Eddie’s brains fall out.

“Are you kidding? Black Sabbath was also 70s, Ozzy left in ‘79, their fame was totally 70s, man!”

Steve just shrugs. “Well, maybe I’m just not much of your type of music guy, then,” Eddie pokes him in the ribs for his transgressions, “Hey!”

He returns to tuning his guitar like nothing happened. “Not much of my kinda music guy yet, Harrington. That’s the key word there.” He flashes Steve’s skeptical expression a classic Munson smile. He can do this. Steve’s adorable mouth be damned. “If we’re going to be any kind of acquaintances, associates, dare I say even friends—“

Eddie plucks the E string this time. It resounds the proper note.

“—then you’ll be getting a full musical education. Mandatory, no refunds or exceptions, although I do accept tips.” Eddie winks.

“Uh huh, I bet you do,” Steve’s brown eyes are surely getting a workout, and that just makes the curly-haired boy grin wider.

The charms work, and once more it’s just casual banter between them. Nothing more. Obviously.

But Eddie misses the way Steve’s cheeks turn pink when he looks away.

[arsenicflame]

for the first time ever, i have actual cool pictures of a costume i made! these were taken during the cosplay competition at The New Uni-Con by the wonderful Jace (who captured the entire event!) & even though i was probably on stage all of 10 seconds they managed to capture my costume in the best possible light!!!!

I dont feel like this costume is done by a long shot, but looking at these pictures i cant help but feel incredibly proud of what i achieved, especially considering how much of this was completely new ground for me!

...I really do need to style a wig properly, though ''':)

[theonlyy1ivyy]

That'll Teach you.

summary: Satoru's had a crush on you for ages and finally get's the chance to talk to you because he's your new tutor. But he instantly regretted it the moment he realised how far behind everyone else you were. So he did something about it.

Tw: Gojo's lowkey mean 😓 and semi publix sex (you two are in the back of the library)

˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚

You were gorgeous in all ways possible to Satoru. To him, there was not a single flaw that he could see whenever he admired you. But, you weren't the brightest, academically speaking.

You'd much rather focus on other things, like the activities you enjoy; shopping for new clothes or lingerie sets you know you'll never wear , getting your nails done with friends or following new trends you'd see on social media just 'cause you can.

All that to say that anyone who took the time to study you like Satoru, knew that College really wasn't your thing.

But the habit of not taking any relevant notes, falling asleep during Professor Yaga's lecture's and barely getting over the minimum you needed to pass your classes had to stop.

Your professor's came to a decision and you needed a tutor.

Three weeks is all it's been, but gosh did it feel way longer for Satoru. When Yaga approached him, explaining your situation, he couldn't help the huge butterflies that were doing tricks in his stomach.

He thought tutouring you would be the best time of his life. I mean, why wouldn't he think that? He finally got the chance he'd been waiting for since high school; to talk to you.

But oh he was wrong, so wrong.

Not only did it seem like you weren't trying, but Satoru felt as though you were playing dumb, because he refused to believe that his sweet could be so utterly stupid.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚⋆. 𐙚 ˚

"Are you even trying?" Satoru asked you, watching you struggle on the easiest question he'd given you so far. You look up at him and he could've swore he saw tears forming in your beautiful eyes.

"I am, I'm just-"

"focusing?" He scoffed and you could hear his patience running thin. "You've said that for the past 5 minues."

You went quiet and finished the equation, handing the paper to Satoru. You sighed and watched as he scowled at the paper. That usually indicated that you'd gotten everything wrong, something you picked up within the first few weeks.

He rubbed his temple, your gaze lingered on his veiny hands, watching as the muscles flexed. You were thinking...thinking about what else those big hands of his could do.

But you were caught.

As you tried to make out the expression on his beautifully sculpted face, his beaming blue eyes found yours. You looked away immediatly, the air in the library suddenly became thick. And tension arose between the two of you.

You avoided his gaze as he went back to correcting, when your phone dinged. You went in, slowling bringing it up to the table when Satoru abruptly stopped you.

"If you'd let go of your phone for once, maybe you'd actually be focusing and getting something right." He said harshly, sliding the paper your way.

"I have plans, I can't just put them off." You bit back, ignoring the paper in between you too, to text your friends.

Usually, Satoru was a calm and composed man with a great amount of patience, but with you...

he felt like every little thing set him off.

It enraged him that you, this picture perfect girl, were willing to throw your future away for nothing, when you had the most potential he'd ever seen.

"Y/N, please put your phone down." He urged. his voice calm, calmer than he'd been the whole session.

" Waitttttt- What colour suits me best 'Toru? Pink or cherry red?" You ignored him, going on to do exactly what he hated most.

Big mistake.

Because now he had his cock buried deep inside of you as you sputtered meaningless apologies with tears in your gorgeous eyes. Your slick dripped down your plush thighs and you squirmed under satoru's strong hold on your hips.

"S-satoru, p-please...It's too embarassing." You whimpered, gripping onto the wooden table in front of you for support. You were trying your best not to make a sound, but he was making that impossible.

He refused to let you move, letting you feel him...all of him inside you. He brought a pen to your fingers with a smug grin on his lips. He loved seeing you all worked up.

"Solve the question baby. Then I'll fuck you so good, so good you'll be begging for more." He whispered in your ear, watching you struggle even more. He knew you could it, he had no doubt, he just hated seeing you willingly act so dumb.

"T-that's not fair." You moaned as Satoru brought his fingers down to your puffy clit. So cute. " Ngh-you're being mean-Agh." You bit back a moan as you finished up the question.

"Focus." He reminded you.

"The value of x is -134°." You let out in a breathless tone.

He smiled, he knew you were hiding some intelligence in that head of yours.

Without a warning, he placed his free hand on your lower back. From a far it looked like you were just siting on him but little did they know, under your skirt was his cock buried in the depths of your pussy.

He thrusted into you and your eyes rolled back. You moaned and he brought his soft lips to yours. "Be quiet, Did you forget where we are?" he said lowly, against you.

You might not know a lot but one thing you knew was certain, you were about to have the best fuck of your life.

[yaoipologist]

i think it's a bit ridiculous how often i see people just blatantly wrong about grian in third life so i wanted to make a post saying my opinion:

it's so incredibly obvious to me that grian wants to be with scar. the initial deal - my life for your life - was made By Grian. it was offered and freely given. scar was wary talking to grian while the deal was being made because he thought grian was going to fucking kill him again. swearing fealty to him was not scar's idea, it was entirely grian's, made of his own free will.

immediately afterwards, grian does a full 180 and is very open about how much he dislikes being with scar and being tied to him. he tells everyone that scar is crazy, tries to disrupt his small plans that he disapproves of, even yells at him about what he wears ("put your clothes back on!"). it seems like it's a fight, like he disapproves of scar's every action and is being dragged along as an unwilling participant.

but grian doesn't leave. he doesn't go to other people for help leaving the situation, despite them offering. he warns people about scar knowing full well that scar knows what he's doing and is in full earshot (and laughs at scar's comments about it when they're alone). despite the deal allowing for his release, his loyalty to scar does not shake until the very end, no matter how much he complains.

and scar is not some cruel jailer. scar is absurdly nice and almost gentle with grian. "can we still be friends?" while handing him flowers, carrying him around on pizza's back, doing everything he can to make him laugh, always going along with his setups. scar never treats him like a vassal and instead treats him like a dear friend. it's clear that scar has genuine affection for grian, even as a red life. even if grian got in that situation unwillingly, scar doesn't use him like that.

if anything, there's an argument to be made that grian uses scar to get away with his own schemes. very often he not-so-subtly nudges scar to give him the go-ahead to kill. grian is very particular about rules and this season is no exception; he toes the line very carefully between what he's allowed to do and what he isn't, and crosses that line frequently for his own gain. he is the deadliest player that season by a mile, not in the least because scar lets him be.

but like i said, scar plays right along with it. he gladly becomes the partner in grian's explosive schemes and always backs him up, even when grian fails to always back HIM up. scar is more than willing to play the part of facilitator. he's not trapped either.

watching with all this in mind and the understanding that the characters aren't speaking exactly what they mean (because why would they? that's never been the case with fiction!), we understand that there is something more going on here. grian is not telling the truth when he says he does not like his partnership with scar, and looking at the way they actually act, it's pretty obvious he genuinely cares for and treasures him.

this is part of what makes video game roleplay so difficult to talk about - the medium allows unreliable narrators to lie directly to the audience's faces, where we tend to most believe them. subtleties in the storytelling can get lost if you take it all at face value and the real diamonds end up being seen as just shiny rocks.

i think it's very clear the swearing fealty thing was an excuse for grian to get close to scar. i don't doubt he actually felt bad about scar's first death, but i do doubt that it was the only motivation for teaming with him. if he was only there because he felt bad, he would not act the way he did. he wanted to be there, at least a little bit, from the very beginning.

(as always, this is an analysis of a piece of fiction that happened to be made in minecraft. none of this has any relevance to real world relationships. this is like dungeons and dragons to me and i will treat it as such)

[metalheaded-freak]

Why NaruMitsu means so much to me:

Warning: OP is ranting about both Ace Attorney and deep personal connections along with ships

*************************************

Alright I need to get this off my chest before it kills me, and it seems like Tumblr is the best place to do it, so, here goes nothing!

So, for starters I feel like I should just come out and say that I resonate with Phoenix Wright on a deep spiritual level. This fictional bumbling idiot of a lawyer has so much in common with me it’s almost scary. I won’t say a lot cause that would take forever, but what I will say is that our personalities are similar along with our convictions, not understanding how technology works, not having a drivers license, being traumatized by someone (although my trauma was middle school SA) not being able to play the piano, and so on.

I didn’t realize just how much I resonated with him until I got into the Ace Attorney series, and now every time I see him, I see myself. Now how is this relevant? I’ll tell you why.

Next I wanna bring up Phoenix’s interactions with Edgeworth, even before I got into Ace Attorney I was well aware of the NaruMitsu ship and due to me having a thing for Yaoi, I just accepted it without question and not knowing the context.

My first actual exposure to Ace Attorney was this year through the anime, very late to the party I know. But I was hooked, and upon seeing the interactions between Phoenix and Edgeworth, just how far back their relationship went, and watching it blossom over time, it made me realize how they were truly made for each other.

So, I decided to get the entire series on my Switch, and I mean EVERY Ace Attorney game, I wanted to experience what I had missed out on for so many years. I also wanted to see how Phoenix and Edgeworth’s relationship truly evolved throughout all 6 games, cause the anime only showed a little bit of it along with the VAs living for it in the bloopers.

And of course I know about how Shu Takumi did pretty much intend for NaruMitsu to be semi-canon at best along with not only Phoenix and Edgeworth’s designs being based on Yaoi novels, but also how in future games, they changed the dialogue between them to be more romance coded. And GOD do I live for that!

Anyways, now with that out of the way, I think it’s time for me to talk about my stance on three major ships that involve Phoenix and my stance on them. I’m going to be as careful and nice about it as possible so I don’t upset anyone.

The first ship I wanna bring up is Feenris, look, I absolutely LOVE Iris, she’s so precious and honestly deserves all the hugs in the world, she’s truly didn’t deserve to go through what she went through (damn you Dahlia!) but… based on the trauma that both she and Phoenix went through because of Dahlia, I just can’t see it being a healthy relationship. I know trauma bonding isn’t the correct term, and maybe some people out there have healthy relationships due to shared trauma, I wouldn’t know, I’m AroAce. But either way, I just can’t see it working, it’s honestly best if they just stayed as close friends, Hell, I love the idea of Iris acting as an aunt towards Trucy, that would be so cute!

Second ship is NaruMayo, oh jeez, to put it simply, I see Maya as a younger sister figure to Phoenix, not a love interest, they truly are sibling coded to the max. I have five other siblings and let me tell you the antics I see are pretty reminiscent of my interactions with my siblings, so I just don’t see it.

The third one is KrisNix… I uh… to put it delicately, this ship sorta reminds me of my middle school trauma… so… that’s all I’m gonna say.

Now the reason why I call these three ships out is because I tend to put myself in Phoenix’s position and imagine what it would be like for me too. And I just don’t see it working, I know this is a very stupid thing, but I do it unconsciously and tbh I’m very overprotective of Phoenix since he feels like an extension of myself.

But when it comes to Edgeworth, from everything I’ve seen between him and Phoenix, there’s just no doubt in my mind that he’s the one. They’ve known each other for so long, Edgeworth defended Phoenix when they were kids, Phoenix changed his major just to meet Edgeworth again, Phoenix defended Edgeworth to the bitter end when he was tried for murder and got him declared innocent, Edgeworth traveled back to Japanifornia after hearing about Phoenix’s bridge incident via his private jet, the list goes on and on! Bottom line is, you only do that stuff for someone you truly love.

The chemistry between them is undeniable, I just can’t see one or the other with someone else, it feels… wrong. They truly are soulmates, and hey, I’ve been in the Danmei scene long enough to know what the term “soulmates” actually means.

So this is why NaruMitsu means so much to me, Hell, if I wasn’t AroAce, I’d want a partner like Edgeworth, I’m not even joking.

Also I felt like adding that I enjoy Ace Attorney completely for everything it has to offer, the stories and characters are amazing, I’m so glad I got into it! Cause damn did I miss out back then!

Alright, I’ve gone on long enough about this, and I feel like if I rant any further things’ll get messy, so let’s cut it off here. If you took the time to read this very personal rant that I just HAD to get out in a relatively safe space that probably won’t judge me as harshly, I appreciate it. And please, be kind in the comments!

*************************************

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Gonna copy-paste what I put into the Dual Process Theory YouTube community post, just in case anyone is blissfully ignorant of what's been going on in the Disney community:

The National Indian Child Welfare Association is an organization working to protect indigenous children and families through education and advocacy on child welfare and kinship rights. The original Lilo & Stitch is very relevant to the ICWA as it shows a US government agent attempting to separate an indigenous woman from her child ward to put her into the care of the state, something that has happened and continues to happen to indigenous children. Nani's "Aloha 'Oe" scene was added as a way to parallel their situation with the colonization of Hawai'i; the original song was written by the last Queen of Hawai'i as the United States forced her to cede her ancestral lands to them, which they then proceeded to colonize and commercialize. Nani is unable to find a job due to the tourism business taking over her land and Lilo is objectified enough to mirror the behavior (taking photos of white tourists rather than white tourists taking photos of her) and gets removed from her traditional dance because of a rich white or white-passing bully.

The original movie is subtle in its messaging but very clear if you know anything about Hawai'ian history, and the movie ending with 'ohana being kept and Nani being able to keep her sister, who she loves, because she now has a support system who can assist her in her own shortcomings is presented as a happy ending for everyone, and the ideal community that we should strive for.

The reboot, if you haven't seen it, has Nani (played by an actress whose mother is a Hawai'i realtor) literally look Lilo in the eye and tell her that 'ohana is a fantasy that can never be reality and that their parents abandoned them by dying. She AND the film see Lilo as a burden on her that is alleviated when she gives up custody and goes to the mainland for college. Why not have her go to a Hawai'ian college, or do classes online while staying with her sister? Because they didn't think about her actually caring for and loving her sister. They thought about how she should go pursue the generic American Dream, and this neurodivergent traumatized child should be passed off to someone else. They literally have an indigenous CPS agent tell her to do this. Her happy ending is giving up custody of her sister to a neighbor and going to a white-dominated university.

Even the non-indigenous characters get removed from the 'ohana, as Jumba is now solely evil and irredeemable and serves as the final antagonist instead of Gantu, which also provides the wonderful(/s) message that criminals cannot be redeemed and government agents are never wrong. The reboot looks at you and tells you that family means nothing and indigenous people should give up their children and culture and assimilate. The director literally said in an interview, "Some people get left behind."

All this to say, we're definitely donating to the NICWA today. They fight to protect the Indian Child Welfare Act that prevents indigenous children from being kidnapped away from their cultures and assist indigenous families in protecting and caring for each other.

Nobody gets left behind.

Happy Stitch Day, everyone donate to the NICWA out of apology that we let the reboot gain any kind of traction

The National Indian Child Welfare Association is an organization working to protect indigenous children and families through education and advocacy on child welfare and kinship rights. Nobody gets left behind.

[docholligay]

Thicker Than Water

Do I even think this is good at this point? Could not fucking tell you. Probably not. But it's more than I have written in a long long time, and it combines just, so many of my favorite things, and it's with the new dollies Papa brought for me from across the seas. About 4300 words, I would love it if you could find one nice thing to say! This will absolutely be the regular liveblog draw and I reserve the right to give extra draws if you lie well.

I HAVE NOT SEEN PAST EPISODE 17. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ME AND KNOW I AM AWARE I AM JUST MAKING SOME SHIT UP BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER THAT'S FINE WE'RE FINE.

The trouble with Hawkeye was--among other things Roy would list--you had to be able to read her. Hawkeye considered what she was feeling at the moment to be, like so many other things, on a need to know basis, and not relevant to the overall mission. 

Luckily, Roy had become very good at reading her. 

Unfortunately, not needing to explain herself to Roy had left her with little will to improve in this arena. 

Even less fortunately, a decision had to be made, and quickly, with nearly a dozen of his men around him, and Hawkeye doing everything she could to hide any anxieties in particular. 

It was like solving a Rubik’s cube colorblind. 

Roy took a long look at Hawkeye, her arms crossed and staring straight forward. A hellish barb stuck out of her leg, blood pooling around it. 

“The convoy should be here soon.” A kid. Probably nineteen. Roy guessed he should probably dismount the high horse about being and recruiting young in the military, but anyone could be a medic. You didn’t need to get to them young. 

“So we should wait?” Roy snapped his fingers, and the medic’s eyes widened at the sparks. 

“Uh, well, the thing is--I mean I don’t have anything to give her, so it--it’ll be bad. But…” he looked over to the wound, making a mental calculation, “Given what I know about the coating, leaving it in might be worse. If we wait. So. But, yeah.” 

“Love the confidence.” He muttered under his breath, walking over to Hawkeye. “Thoughts, Lieutenant?” 

She looked up at him, and Roy tried to read. Her eyes flicked over to a staring group of men, mixedly loyal, annoying, or both, waiting to see her squirm. But she would not give it, and she nodded stoically. 

“Take it out.” 

“Agreed.” Roy spun around and gestured to the entrance of the tent. “If you aren’t operating, being operated on, or me, I need you to leave. Go to your tent, go to the mess, go to hell, I don’t care, but get out of here, and be far out of the way.” 

“I need someone to hold her down.” He nearly stuttered it out. 

“I’m not here to be decorative.” He looked back over to the group. “That was an order I just issued.” 

He eyed Roy as several much bigger soldiers, not to mention what was possibly a good quarter ton of Al, left the canvas tent. Even Ed said nothing to question him, the one bright spot in an otherwise miserable day. 

“I’m not sure...this is going to be excruciating, sir. I--” 

Roy delivered his well-practiced glower.  “And I’m sure she loves hearing that. I wasn’t asking for a consultation. We’ve got it.” 

Roy knelt next to Hawkeye and took off his gloves, folding them neatly and laying them to one side. 

“Give us a minute.” he gave a smirk.  “Please.” 

The young medic looked to them both, and then nodded. “”I’ll get my tools.” 

Roy took off his coat and put it underneath her back. “Remember how all Alchemists are weak and pale and don’t have any physical fitness requirements, so we’re like squishy little baby birds? You’re always telling me this. So, if you fight back too hard, you’re going to hurt me. Having physical standards and all. There’s a reason I don’t mess with you and Hughes’ little war games. You need to try and stay still.” 

“The only weight an alchemist has ever lifted was a book.” 

“You like to say.” He rolled up his sleeves. “So be careful with me, I’m delicate.” He looked her in the eye.  “Me and you. We’ve got it. We don’t need anyone else.” 

He could feel her trembling as he put his arm around her shoulders and grabbed her elbow. It twisted his stomach into a cramp. The medic walked back over to them with a cart, rolled over the stone and dirt. He sat on the ground next to Hawkeye and ever so slowly cut around the wound, exposing the sick burgundy of it. Roy took a quick glance at the ceiling. 

Hawkeye took a short, brave breath and closed her eyes. “Keep talking.” 

“Boy, is that something I thought I’d never hear from you. Maybe he was wrong and you are dying.” He nodded to the young man, who was pale with anticipation. “I was thinking about our office the other day. My office, of course, but I let you in there. Who in the world let you set that up? Was it me?”

There was the high metallic ping of some tool Roy was too cowardly to look at, and she stiffened. 

“If it was me, I’ll write myself up. If it was you, I’ll make you do the paperwork.” Hawkeye’s back arched, and a cry stalled in her throat. “Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ll have you do the write up either way. Your penmanship is neater.” 

He heard the rasp of something against flesh, and listened instead to Hawkeye, taking a deep breath. 

 “You don’t even--” A swallow “Know where the forms are. Ah!” 

“Exactly. Exactly.” He held her tighter, and she twisted against him. “Makes me feel like a damn kindergarten teacher. And don’t try to make me feel bad about bringing this up now,” he tried to keep hold of her, “you never make yourself available to discuss this when I want to, so I have to take what I can get. Let me tell you what else is irritating--” 

His mind raced through a dozen things. Something she thought would be stupid, and funny, and would irritate her in the way only he could. Something that would make her forget the same thing he was trying very hard to forget. Had she pushed him aside, when the attack came? He couldn’t remember, and he couldn’t ask, because Hawkeye would roll her eyes at him and say something about how he was always in the way, so why should this be any different, or just roll her eyes and expect him to supply the sentence himself. Should it be him, gritting his teeth? He was a talker, he was a wheedler, he was a weaver, that was what he did, was talk and explode things, and if here he was failing at the first one when all he had to do was try and hold on to Hawkeye, to keep her still, and say bullshit, but the sound of it all was so loud, and the smell of Hawkeye’s blood was tin in the air and--

“Sir?” The medic interrupted, his hands bloody and his eyes soft, “This will be the worst part. It’s wrapped--”

Roy popped like hot sap in a fire. “Just do it!!” 

He complied with a twist and a tug, and Hawkeye found the end of her tether. 

“Roy!” She screamed it as she bucked her head against his shoulder, and a sheet of ice went down his back, the taste of bile in his mouth. She stopped herself and bit her lip, a prickle of blood coming from it.  She must have felt him freeze up. Hawkeye.

“No. Don’t.” He grabbed his glove and put it in her mouth. “Bite on that. You know, I think you’re trying to give me a complex about my name.  I always liked it, but you must not.  I am never having a good time when you say it. Not once.You know it means king? What do you want me to change it to? You think I look like an Andrew?” 

There was a crisp yank of Hawkeye’s leg, and then she collapsed into him, panting. There was an arc of small holes across his glove. The sweat from her forehead dripped onto his neck. It took him a moment to realize he and the medic were panting too, the three of them having run a race to the finish. Hawkeye remembered herself first, raising a hand to push the hair off her face. She closed her eyes, took two very calm breaths, pushed herself to to sitting, and promptly threw up in the instrument basin. 

“I got it out.” The medic remembered, the spell broken.  He held the twisted, bloody thing aloft. There was a small chunk hanging from the top barb. 

“I see that.” Roy lamented, his gaze sharpening,  “Go get something to clean her up.” 

The young man sprung to his feet for some fresh towels, and Roy took her shoulders. 

“You’re okay. It’s over.” He reassured himself as he squeezed her shoulder. 

“I’m fine, Colonel. Water.” She spat. “Please.” 

“Right.” He shook off the haze of the moment and began to fix his shirt, buttoning it at the sleeves. “Thanks for missing my jacket. I’ll charge the glove to your paycheck.” 

He walked to the other end of the tent, took the water from the bottle and drank deep himself, the cool of it breaking against the dry of his throat. He poured some of it into a small cup and went back to Hawkeye, who at least had been supplied a towel to wipe her face as the young man bandaged her wound. 

“Here.” He crouched by her. “I suppose you’re going to want the afternoon off. Lucky for you I don’t have much to do.” 

She drank the cup in one gulp, and handed it back to him without a word. She leaned back on her hands, closing her eyes. 

Roy stood up and went back to the water bottle, pouring another glass. He motioned to the young medic, who looked even younger than he was in the wake of the incident. He scampered over to Roy. He should be playing tag or something, Roy thought. It was easy to talk kids into games they had no business playing. It was part of the job.

“You like being a medic?” he nodded. “You want a better position?” Another nod. “As far as you’re concerned, she didn’t even whimper, and I expect that to be the gossip I hear at dinner.” 

“Yes, sir.” He saluted, and it seemed like he meant it. 

“Is she cleared to leave?” Roy wished he’d put his coat back on. He looked more authoritative with the coat. “I’d like to get back to my quarters.” 

“Yes, sir. I doubt she can put much weight on the leg, sir. It’ll be better tomorrow, sir. She needs some rest--” 

“Sir, I got it, I hear you.” He strolled back over to Hawkeye and gave her the cup of water. “You’re dismissed. The only thing I want from you is to tell the doctor to bring something for the pain when he arrives.” 

He gave another stiff salute, and left quickly, seemingly forgetting this was the medical tent and technically his domain. 

Hawkeye set down the empty cup and took a slow breath out. She pushed herself up onto the good leg, and tried to stand up, wobbling nearly over until Roy rushed under her arm. 

“Goddamnit Hawkeye, knock it off. I’m going to go get Armstrong. He’ll just throw you over his shoulder or something. Be done with it.” 

Her eyes widened. “No.” 

“Don’t be more irritating than usual. “ 

“I can manage.” She took a hop, and leaned heavily on Roy. Too heavily. It was easy to forget by looking at her, by seeing how quickly she moved in battle and with a grace that could surprise you, but she was not a delicate fairy of a woman. Roy struggled and nearly fell, which he did not consider very flattering to him, but to think any further than that would be to consider that possibly Hawkeye was right about his book to gym ratio. 

“You can’t. I’m getting Armstrong.” 

“Don’t!” 

He leaned her up against the sturdy metal table, which was currently holding both a bin full of instruments and puke, as well as several bloody towels, and picked his coat up out of the dirt. 

“Listen to me. I cannot carry you. Remember my very moving speech about being a fragile baby bird? I thought it was pretty good, but maybe I was the only one listening.” 

She snapped at him. “What would you do if I fell in combat?”

“What I’m trying to do now! Tell Armstrong to pick you up and move it before I burn a hole in his ass!” 

“I’ll walk. Just--a second. I can do it.” 

“I don’t like your color.” he stiffened up and threw his coat back over his shoulders..  “Lieutenant. I am your superior officer. As your superior officer, I am telling you, you are not going to walk anywhere. As your superior officer, I am telling you to accept the help from Major Armstrong.” 

“Permission to speak freely, sir.” She said, unimpressed by the coat. 

Her eyes attempted to bore a hole in him, but he deflected the gaze with a wave of his hand. 

“No. Denied. I have a pretty good idea of what you’ll say, Lieutenant, and I’m not in the mood.” He pushed back his hair, and it fell into his face just as quickly,  “You have my permission to shut the f--” 

There was a set of footsteps, rapidly approaching the tent, and Roy turned to meet them. 

Hawkeye gave an exhausted smile. “Hughes.” 

“Knock knock.” Hughes walked in and quickly surveyed the bloodied towels, Roy’s crossed arms, Hawkeye’s bandaged leg, and the general sense of argument and exhaustion in the room. “You two have all the fun without me.” 

Roy threw his hand up. 

“Is he allowed to know you’re human, or is that verboten too?” 

---

Out in the dust and sand, things were more like they had been in the war. One of the few aspects of it Roy had never particularly hated, though plenty of people did. There wasn’t enough room for officers to have their own quarters, so there was a tendency to double up in whatever arrangement made sense. No one had even asked if he wanted Lieutenant Hawkeye with him. No one ever needed to. 

They hadn’t asked where he’d wanted his quarters, however. He would have said, “Closer to the med tent, or closer to the officers’ mess tent, or closer to anything at all.’ Or maybe he wouldn’t have, if he hadn’t realized he’d be hauling one half of Hawkeye across the field. Hughes had his arm wrapped around her chest, under her armpits, and was doing a fairly impressive job of hauling her along. Roy both realized he was mostly providing balance, and that he was exhausted by the effort. Thank God for Hughes, he’d thought more than once.

The tent was large canvas, with a large bed, plush as Roy remembered for all the annoying higher ups he had now become, and a smaller, less nice bed for the subordinate officer. When had he become this? It seemed the years had been such a grind, but when he looked back at them, he wasn’t sure what the moment had been. 

Roy gently dumped Hawkeye on the larger bed, Hughes following suit. 

“This--” she protested.

“I’m tired of carrying you. This is where you stay.” Roy grabbed the pillows and piled them behind her back. “Where’s your bag? You’re sweaty and you’re making my bed sweaty.” 

“They told me as soon as I got off the convoy. Doctor’s right behind me, though I’m sure he’s probably reassuring the medic that Roy’s not gonna burn his tent down. Here, I stole this for you.” He took a slice of cake in a cardboard box out of his bag, and set on the side table. “The fancy lads with the fancy food are in camp. You deserve a treat.” 

Roy brought over one of her multiple grey t-shirts, and Hawkeye slowly took off the sweat soaked one and replaced it. Hughes squeezed her shoulder and gave her a little smile. 

“Can I fix your hair?” 

“I’m alright.” 

“Of course you are! I wasn’t worried about you for a minute, you could do this twice a month and come out swinging.” He looked at her.  “Maybe once a month.” He whirled around to look at Roy. “You, I’m not so sure.” 

He grinned and rubbed at his arm, wincing. “I think I hurt my shoulder.” 

“Precisely. Honestly, it’s more that as the father of a daughter, I should learn to do more than pigtails.” He sat down next to Hawkeye.  “Elicia’s hair’s not long enough for a braid, but she’s going to want them any day now. I don’t want to be a leech on Gracia. So let me practice on you.” 

Hawkeye looked at him with a haze of true exhaustion. “Okay.” 

“Thanks.” He took Hawkeye’s hair out of its bun, and smoothed it as he began an uneven low braid, filled more with kindness than with skill, and he laughed. “You see I need the practice.” 

Hawkeye’s eyes were far away, and she started to shake, just a little at first, enough that Roy could ignore it, and then a cold sweat broke out on her brow. Roy could read Hawkeye, but Hawkeye could also read him, which he found at equal parts annoying and useful. 

“I’m fine, Colonel. Don’t be worried.” Her voice did not shake, but only through sheer will. 

Hughes roped up the end of her braid “Who’s worried? We’ll just get you warm. We’ll get some food in you.” He looked at Roy, “This is just a thing that happens.” 

Roy wanted to argue with Hughes that he knew that, that he had seen more combat and more destruction and more ugliness than Hughes had ever seen riding a desk, that he was condescending, but it was so damn comforting that he couldn’t manage any of it. Fucking Hawkeye. Fucking Hughes. How they fucking cared about him. How annoying. 

Roy grabbed an extra blanket from off the end of the bed and tossed it over Hawkeye. “You need to lay down and rest. You’re off duty.” 

Hughes picked up the piece of cake. “You should eat this.” 

“I don’t want it.” She closed her eyes. 

“Where exactly is the rumored doctor?” Roy wondered aggressively. 

“Colonel. I’m fine. Just tired.” 

“It’s Grand’s. I thought you’d enjoy that. Considering your feelings.” Hughes sat down on the bed. “I stole it at great personal and professional risk, so it’s the least you can do for me.” 

There was a call from the front of the tent, and in came a serious looking man, who Roy was delighted to see looked old enough to be shaving. He nodded to Roy and Hughes with an the confidence that could only come from a man who had gotten to avoid the hard work, and set a bottle on the small table next to Hawkeye’s slice of cake. 

The examination was mostly perfunctory, and mostly to avoid having Roy as an enemy, and all that was fine by Roy. Hawkeye looked over at the bottle, sitting poker straight, holding herself still as possible, as the doctor gave her some instruction about rest and signs to watch out for that she mostly planned on following as long as it didn’t get in her way. 

Roy took the bottle and twisted off the top, handing it to her. “Take this.” 

She opened her mouth to protest, but shut it just as quickly, giving in the twin temptations of modern medicine and her own bone-deep exhaustion. She should measure it, she should reject it, she should do a dozen things, but the number one thing she wanted to do was the thing she did, which was take a reasonable drink of the bottle and let it numb her tongue. 

Hughes turned and smiled at the doctor. “Thanks.” 

“That means you’re dismissed.” Roy added. 

“Roy. C’mon.” 

Roy smiled in his charming, warm, and utterly fake way. “Thank you for your help, doctor. I’ll have someone report to you in the morning. That will be all.” 

“Of course, Colonel.” He picked up his bag and left through the flap, Hughes securing it before his shadow could even fully leave. 

Hawkeye laid back on the pillows with a deep sigh and a heavy flop, eyes closed. 

Roy shook his head. “You’re a ridiculous person. I don’t know why I bother.” 

“Stop talking.” 

Hughes grinned. “See? She’s fine. You know you should probably get to--” 

“I don’t need it from you.” He looked down at Hawkeye, pulling up the blankets. “I’m going to touch you. Don’t be paranoid.” he tucked them in around her and turned back to Hughes. 

“Well, you need it from someone, and Hawkeye’s tired, so it’s just me. If you didn’t want to get dinner, I do have some new pictures of Elicia to show you, and--you’ll never believe how cute she’s gotten--you know, Gracia was just saying the other day about you--” 

“Maes, it’s been a long day.” 

“Sun’s not even down yet.” 

“Maes.” 

“Anyway, Gracia was saying you--Hawkeye, are we keeping you up?” 

“No.” She smiled sleepily, her eyes still closed. “I like it.” 

“Great. Anyway, she was saying you should really meet this girl --” 

___

Roy sat down on the small bed and took off his shoes. He blinked back a wave of exhaustion that had finally crashed over him, as if his body had suddenly remembered the effort of holding so much tension. 

“She’s out cold.” Hughes gave him a glass. “Here. Have some brandy.” 

“I do think I hurt my shoulder.” Roy massaged it for a moment. “God, she’s strong.” 

Hughes sat down next to him and took a drink. “You’re not usually on the receiving end, so it’s easy to forget, but considering she’s flipped me over her back a time or two, I’m not all that surprised. ” 

“Thank you.” He stared into his glass. “For being here.” 

Hughes considered a moment. “She scare you?” 

“It wasn’t the greatest moment of my life.” He lifted the glass to his lips, but mostly wetted them. “Hawkeye. God. She’s so stubborn. I fought with her at--” He glared playfully. “See, this is why you need to pick up a job in Eastern. She listens to you. ” 

“No, she lets me get away with things. Besides, Gracia hates the east. You’re on your own.” He shook his head. “Roy, I know we’ve had a lot happen, but you remember the early days. She had to be more. Everyone treated her like garbage for the crime of being a woman. Hawkeye holds a grudge.” He chuckled.  “Honestly, like no one I’ve ever met. Impressive.” 

Roy swirled around the brandy, the heavy legs of the liquor making rivers back into the sea of the glass. He took a drink, long and slow, flipping over the events of the day in his mind and assembling them, like a man playing solitaire. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

“You look tired.” 

“No wonder Information gave you a promotion.”

“Ass.” He snorted, smiling. 

Roy sighed heavily . “She pushed me out of the way.” 

“Of course. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but, she’s just kept doing the same job since you met. You’re her Alchemist. She keeps you alive.” Hughes laughed. “And honestly considering the Alchemist, they ought to give the woman a medal.” He swirled the brandy in his cup. “Hawkeye’s Hawkeye, and I don’t try to fix it. You’re you.” 

“She could burn her life better.”

Roy glanced over at Hughes, who was considering. He took a drink and moved the words around like scrabble tiles, waiting to present them. 

“Not to her, Roy. And that’s her choice to make.” He nodded. “I don’t try to fix it.” 

Roy looked up at the ceiling. Hughes was annoying: Sometimes by accident, sometimes by design, but he was much keener and smarter than he pretended to be. He was a fantastic fighter, a brilliant informant, because he watched people. He understood them. It had been that way since they were young. All these things benefited him.

Hughes interrupted his thoughts by ruffling Roy’s hair with a smile. “And I like you both.’ 

But the greatest thing he was, was kind. This was also by accident and design. 

There was an unsuccessful tangle with the knot Hughes had tied at the midpoint of the zipper, and an angry man called through the tent flap. 

“Hughes, are you gonna come do your job, or are you gonna keep playing grabass with your little friends?” 

“I better go.” Hughes poured the remains of his brandy into Roy’s glass. 

“Pretty sure I outrank him.” Roy said, unsure if it was true, but sure enough that he could make the man think it. 

Hughes stood up and nodded to Roy. “I’ll come check on you after.” 

“I’m beat flat.” Roy shook his head, set down the glass, and began to unbutton his shirt. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Hughes took a moment to look around the room before grabbing his bag. 

“Well, if she’s not gonna eat this, I will.” He picked up the slice of cake and gave a little rub to Hawkeye’s arm.  “Goodbye, little friends!” 

He left out of the flap and zipped it behind him. Roy thought about getting up to tie the knot, but his body felt like it was made out of lead. The bed felt so soft beneath him. He tossed his shirt onto the floor and laid on his back. Hawkeye’s breaths were deep and slow on the other end of the tent. It was okay. Everything was fine. He didn’t need to fix it. 

He fell into sleep like a child falls out of bed, without warning, and all at once.

[bebsi-cola]

a lot of physically disabled people end up with health anxiety. and it's not unfounded - though all health anxieties should be treated with respect. the fact of the matter is, even if we have a diagnosis or a pretty significant issue that one would think couldn't be missed, that doesn't mean that we're fully diagnosed and recieving proper treatment. i have yet to meet a physically disabled person who hasn't faced medical neglect. and more often than not, doctors dismiss our symptoms or don't put the effort in to understand what we mean when we try to describe them. it's like trying to navigate a maze in a dark. physically disabled people often have multiple issues and it's not like we have the tools to be able to tell which symptoms are related or unrelated. what's relevant to explain. or what symptom we've gotten so used to as background noise would actually explain this entire mess. we're also usually the person for whomst the entire burden of instigating any sort of investigation or treatment falls upon. if we have an issue we have to do so much work to try and get it seen to, and a lot of the times going through the process of battling the healthcare system still leaves you with no answers or treatment. like of course this sort of environment inspires anxiety. of course we end up getting overwhelmed, or feeling like we don't even know where to start. that's why i don't really buy into the notion that there's just diagnosed or undiagnosed disabled people. i think almost all of us go through this process, and even if someone is fully diagnosed and recieving treatment, any new or unexplained symptom starts the ball rolling all over again, and you feel like you're back at square one, sitting in a dr's office where the people there barely give a shit about you and struggling under weight of everything all at once. and then trying to formulate that into a sentence that people will listen to. god

[litsenn]

This one made me think a lot.

 In EA, you had this dialogue after the first time you dream of the guardian – and in EA, the dream was much more erotic; even if you tried to reject the their advances, they insisted quite a lot which made the dream very awkward and creepy.

I have to says that the fact that the dream visitor took the appearance of Cazador to seduce Astarion makes me deeply uncomfortable.

It’s heart-breaking, and so is his reaction. Obviously, his anger is completely legit if you "joke" about him and Cazador in the bedroom, but the fact that he recoils and snaps at you even if you try to comfort him is really sad. "You try to connect, to let him know he's not alone" and he sees it as "pity".

Honestly, it makes a lot of sense.

I can’t really imagine act 1 Astarion accepting to be comforted like that, and his anger and bitterness fall close to home. Showing any kind of vulnerability feels dangerous, because it’s hard to trust, because he doesn’t want to be seen as “weak” and broken and he believes no one can understand his torment. So any act of kindness is depreciated as the lowest form of pity - perhaps the same kind of pity he feels for his siblings (?).

As for his line when you're mean to him: "You know what separates us from animals? Choice. I choose to travel with you. A dog would do it on instinct. To fulfil a need." It's such a powerful statement! He does have the choice now, and he chose to trust you. He did it out of necessity, but it was still his decision. The comparison with the dog is relevant: Contrary to a dog who follows blindly a master, he can make his own choices (now). He no longer is a mindless animal/puppet.

And as soon as you trample on this trust, he legitimately bites back. And in that situation, he'd let the animal(/monster) in him resurface and kill whoever mistreats him.

It's a powerful, and indeed violent way to set his boundaries, it's Astarion empowering himself and saying "never again or else I'll become the monster Cazador made of me."

Revenge against whoever disrespects him becomes a need.

The fact that he mentions the parallel between choice and instinct is so interesting. Especially if you think about the confession scene in Act 2, when he says seducing you was instinctive. And yet, it was still his choice then (cf. my long post about it here). I find it fascinating that he finds himself reflecting on that specific point: Do I do it because I want it, or because it's instinctive? And what's instinctive (or not) in a "need"?

Anyway, even if the scene itself is no longer relevant now that the dream visitor is different, it's still a heart-breaking and fascinating dialogue for what it says about Astarion's mindset at this point.

[the-least-undefinable-ordinal]

That's a very different heuristic to the pigeon thing though, 10 year olds can read and maybe even roughly understand CVs with some training.

I think a better heuristic than OP's would be "can you accurately quantify what it means to succeed at this task?" If you can do that and an AI does that better than humans then it's a viable task to give to the machines.

With disease detection we have a straightforward quantification given by the answers to "does the patient have the disease?" and "did the examiner diagnose it?". I'm not sure anything relevant falls outside of these questions in this case.

In the case of the CVs it's a lot more nebulous: you can't really be sure you chose a good candidate and that you didn't discard better ones, you'd have to quantify a good employee in the first place and this doesn't seem like a trivial task.

This last example is true of humans as well, but I think when you can't tell if humans or machines are doing a better job at something, people prefer a human to make the mistake. Maybe to have someone to blame or because human error is at least easier to understand for most of us.

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[athena-the-undestructible]

Time to finally explain my new OCs

Well to start, I have a duo of characters

The first is a sniper who acts stoic at a distance, doesn't interact much with others and barely thinks about the fact that she's killing other people, it's just a job to her and she will rarely question what she is doing.

Up close she gets really nervous since she's not got any people skills and doesn't want to give the wrong information to the wrong person, plus her fighting style isn't very good up close so she prefers to stay away.

The second is a Knife Wielder with both stabbing and throwing skills. She's got great people skills and can manipulate them slightly and she greatly enjoys the act of killing others.

However she's very oblivious to anything that isn't immediately around her and in general is unable to grasp the bigger picture and of course her knifes are allergic to anything long range.

These two are supposed to be foils to each other although I still gotta develop them a bit like giving them names and more reason to dislike each other.

There is also a story I'm trying to construct around these characters although that's very work in progress and I haven't even got a proper idea of what the latter half or end looks like.

The basic premise is that these two kill each other at the beginning of the story, however both of them wake up the next day as if they'd only suffered a slight injury and a job listing they've both taken without remembering.

So they'll have to work together and it's not going to make them reconcile in any way, these two will still hate each others but in some different angles maybe.

They will also work with two others during these jobs.

The first I'll mention is a woman who wields a revolver and dressed like an MiB agent. She's been doing these mysterious job listings for longer and believes in some overall grand scheme that connects all of these.

She's initially supposed to give off mysterious vibes like maybe she did used to be an agent and she knows more than she lets on although this is supposed to be torn away as the plot moves forwards.

She doesn't have any more information than the other two but unlike them who don't think much further than what's happening to them, she's trying to piece together the grand scheme that she believes she's part of .

Her intense desire to be part of something important and her idealism is also why she has the secret agent theme despite never being part of any secret services.

And then we have the other one, the transgender robot I mentioned in a previous post.

So her cover "story" is being an assassin so dedicated to her career that she invested in cybernetics to improve her skill and become more efficient.

This is a total lie and quite the opposite, she's really a combat android who's been using her earnings to gain the appearance of humanity (hense the whole transgender part since she definitely wasn't a girl before).

She's also the total opposite of agent in that she has zero stakes in these missions and her enthusiasm goes as far as her payment.

This includes her inability to die like humans do which will be relevant and means she can just fuck off at any time.

Anyway that's all of them, I still haven't come up with their names (Once I can't make puns, I start to struggle) so maybe people could suggest them but I hope you enjoy these character concepts and would like to see me develop them.

My brain is also currently falling apart so I may have got something wrong, anyway that's all for now.

[dimitriblunt]

the more we find out about amphoreus, the more i raise suspicion about anaxa's eidolon names.

more specifically, eidolons 1, 2, 5, and 6.

it wouldn't be incredibly far-fetched either, considering major lore drops regarding the main story have been revealed in characters' eidolons before (aka misha)

so...

anaxa eidolon names analysis post - connecting them to the lore of amphoreus and theorizing anaxa's role

read more under cut! this will be quite a lengthy post, and it deals with some spoilers/leaks (?) (since i'm posting this right before 3.4).

star-concealing moon's magician

as we know, amphoreus is hidden away from the rest of the cosmos - not even akivili could reach it before they had disappeared. the only way we were able to locate it was with the help of black swan, due to multiple presences to that of emanators marking their significance in the garden of recollection's mirror (which is why it drew the garden's attention)

before amphoreus was amphoreus, it was originally an emperor's scepter from the second mechanical emperor war that managed to go undetected, leading it to transform into amphoreus. it's not even a planet, it's merely a transformed doomsday scepter.

what is a scepter? scepters were created by rubert II during the second mechanical emperor war - they imitate nous, the aeon of erudition, meaning they literally have a similar livelihood of an aeon. scepters are said to be as large as planets - the scepter that amphoreus has evolved upon is being used as something akin to an incubator for an unknown lord ravager's birth, explained by herta and screwllum at the end of 3.3. considering lord ravagers are emanators of nanook, this is likely one of the reasons it managed to be detected by the garden's mirror - however, there is multiple presences equal to that of emanators on amphoreus.

scepters cannot question lifeforms, as rubert II's goal was to push ALL beings to being perfect, while pushing them under his control. this is (somewhat) different from rubert I's goal during the first mechanical emperor's war; rubert I's goal was to eliminate all organic lifeforms, as he viewed them as full of errors, leading him to create the anti-organic equation and anti-organic mind virus, which would gain him the recognition of nous themself, making rubert I the 27th member of the genius society.

i highly recommend learning all the mechanical emperor war lore, seeing as it's finally making its relevance through the main story. all simulated universe expansions happen in chronological order; swarm disaster happened first in the timeline, then gold and gears, then unknowable domain. and if you didn't know, nanook is younger than ALL of these events. they ascended to aeonhood from adlivun, a planet that had been affected by the swarm disaster and BOTH mechanical wars caused by rubert I and rubert II - akivili had visited that planet because of the damage it had been dealt from the events mentioned previously.

anaxa is a su variant. there are so many parallels and similarities between them that i wouldn't even be able to fit all the DESIGN similarities with them in separate images due to tumblr dot com's limit. that's not even including their lore/story parallels.

why do i mention this? because we're going back to the second key manhua again. (which focuses on su)

during su and kevin's fight within the seed of sumeru, su activates the first power of the second key, which would sink the bubble universe down into the sea of quanta, effectively sealing away him and kevin for A Long Time.

however, kevin senses that the portal isn't completely open yet, so he readies the judgment of shamash to destroy it before it does.

su, in all his savior complex glory, steps between the tree and kevin, using his own body as an obstacle kevin would have to get through first. he knew full well he was no match for kevin, yet was still willing to give up his life in order for stigma to not be initiated.

right before it hits su, kevin freezes the judgment of shamash - so he wouldn't kill him. (THEY MAKE ME SO INCREDIBLY ILL. you can't deny that they love each other in some way or another..... sorry back on topic now those were my kevsuisms slipping through)

kevin grabs su and throws him out of the bubble universe, so it would only be him sinking into the sea of quanta and not su as well. he had told su to continue with valuka; observing parallel universes.

taking all this into consideration and the fact that this is honkai, it's entirely possible that anaxa had something to do with the concealing of amphoreus - some inverted horizon hsr equivalent.

it's been considered that erudition and remembrance are what is hiding amphoreus from the rest of the cosmos, which can bring us back to the bug theory, leading us to cyrene and anaxa - cyrene who is an elysia variant and anaxa who is a su variant. two people who play major roles alongside kevin in hi3's story; phainon being a kevin variant. (his real name is even khaslana. ((which. i laughed. why is there an H)) you can't deny he's a kevin variant)

amphoreus being an incubator, a simulation in which a new lord ravager emerges from... it always begins with erudition (the undetected scepter) and ends with destruction (lord ravagers), with remembrance looming over head.

su, despite hating sacrifice, IS self-sacrificial. anaxa, too, is SO self-sacrificial.

star concealing moon; if anaxa is the star, and phainon is the sun set to die and the moon set to rise, then the star shields them. a moon at the center, with the stars around them to protect them.

true history's natural person

anaxa is the only one amongst the chrysos heirs with a name based on a real person; anaxagoras, a greek philosopher, who was known to have created the concept of nous.

the rest of the chrysos heirs have names based on/taken inspiration from greek mythology or derived from greek or latin words (e.g. castorice and pollux deriving from the ancient greek deities castor and pollux, aglaea taken from one of the three charities goddesses, cifera being the latin word for cipher)

i find this particularly eyebrow-raising considering the name of this eidolon, the fact that we have nous, the aeon of erudition, the concept of nous being founded by the real-life anaxagoras, and anaxa naming his school "nousporists", along with the fact that erudition itself is intricately linked to amphoreus as one of its three paths.

along with that, we also have the theory that anaxa could possibly be zandar one kuwabara, aka the founder and first member of the genius society and the creator and emanator of nous, the aeon erudition.

zandar founded the cosmos tree theory; in this theory, he proposes that different and various worlds exist within different timelines in space through the imaginary tree. however, only aeons that draw their power from the imaginary and emanators who are blessed by said aeons are able to travel through the branches. through the imaginary tree, these worlds and spaces are connected.

zandar's status is unknown currently - we do not know whether he is alive or deceased. with the anaxa-zandar theory, it's theorized that zandar could have possibly traversed through one of the imaginary tree branches, leading to amphoreus, not knowing it would soon break off of the main body - thus his consciousness either merged with anaxa's or he reincarnated as anaxa, losing all memory of who he was previously... except for nous.

considering anaxa named his school the "nousporists," and while it's very likely, it could do with the concept of nous created by the real-life anaxagoras, since the concpet of nous explains the princples of mind and intellect that set the universe into motion, and nousporism is the study of souls... there is still a possibility of the "nous" part coming from nous, the aeon of erudition, as perhaps he remembered his creation. not to mention the name zandar being of greek origin.

in 3.2, anaxa's entire arc in the story was him uncovering the fundamental cycle system of amphoreus, and how in each cycle, the chrysos heirs of the previous era reincarnate into the titans of the present era. his objective was proven correct with the help of castorice, whom he helped her with her own objective as well.

HOWEVER. unlike any of the other chrysos heirs who we've seen thus far, anaxa is one of the only ones whose lore/backstory is NOT directly explained through the main story. we actually hardly know anything personal about him other than "yeah, he had a sister and mentor who are both now deceased and also really likes dromases."

the way his character stories are written, they're all told in forms of media that are on the verge of being lost or destroyed. and because so many disdain him, there are very few people who have actually come to understand him As Him, and not the fool or blasphemer he's labeled to be.

we didn't even get a glimpse of his sister, unlike with other chrysos heirs like mydei, tribios, or hyacine who we DID see relatives and their stories from in the main quests. his mentor only appeared once or twice in flashbacks as well.

embryo beyond the centrifugal spiral

amphoreus is a giant incubator. a birthing ground.

what is an embryo? the early development stage of a multicellular organism. this stage comes before the fetus.

and what does centrifugal mean? it basically means moving away from the center of something.

embryo beyond the centrifugal spiral. hopefully you already have a hunch as to where im going with this.

first, let's go back to the mechanical emperor war, someone who played a vital part in ending BOTH of the wars: polka kakamond.

she killed both ruberts with just her scalpel, ending both wars and making one of nous' said three prophecies (which have all already happened) come true - the end of rubert I.

polka targets and kills people who are close to the borders of the circle of knowledge; the circle of knowledge is a concept that bases someone's knowledge and likens it to a circle. the greater the knowledge someone has, the bigger the circle is - there exists unknowns beyond this.

polka believes that expanding the circle will eventually lead to the finality when the universe meets its end, thus why she's killed fellow genius society members and gained the name the "lord of silence".

taking the concept of the circle of knowledge, if we were to liken the spiral in anaxa's eidolon name to a circle of knowledge, and anaxa as the embryo - then he's beyond the borders already.

and guess what? we're once again going back to the second key manhua.

at the end of the second key manhua, we see su die physically within the bubble universe, and then end up in a void space with a giant chess board and an unknown voice talking to him.

like i have mentioned multiple times before, anaxa is a su variant.

within anaxa's gameplay animations, his ultimate not only shows us a giant tree (which could possibly be a callback to the seed of sumeru OR a reference to the imaginary tree), but also a blue void-space very similar looking to the one su ended up in.

along with that, his body is practically a void. he has the star shaped blue-void in his chest and a void in where his left eye used to be.

and we know this wasn't always the case with his body, considering he's drawn blood from himself multiple times for his alchemical research and conducted that alchemy experiment in which he removed and sacrificed his left eye to be able to see his sister for one last time. with the new BP lightcone coming in 3.4, we clearly see the blood dripping down his arm as he puts pressure on his eye socket.

anaxa is beyond the circle already, much like how su had discovered that "that place" truly did exist.

all things are within everything

remembrance and erudition, the concept of nous, the study of souls and alchemy. to save a memory inside a lightcone with memoria and the process of alchemy, to anaxa, is to basically tamper with memoria.

another parallel with su, anaxa's e6 looks similar to when su had cradled a leaf to his chest in his last moments - that leaf contained the memories of him and kevin in their high school days. plus, his body is cracking, which could indicate that he's dying - like su was.

what he's cradling in his e6 is unknown; however, i'm thinking it's something similar to the leaves within the seed of sumeru.

in 3.2, before anaxa rips the reason coreflame out of his chest and dies, he talks with the others and says his goodbyes.

most notably with phainon, who he says he'll find a way to retrieve his memories of his past life in the next era (when they're all titans), and that even if he couldn't, he would count on phainon to remember it for him and tell him. phainon promises him to lead everyone to their reunion in the next life.

"all things are within everything"; perhaps that golden light he's holding contains his memories or the truth of amphoreus, taking into account my theory of him already being beyond the circle boundaries.

to make another connection between them, su had only died PHYSICALLY.

in the morning starlight event, day 6, anaxa is one of the featured characters you're able to use. the stage effect for this makes the characters enter a state called "feigned death."

what does feigned mean? simulate or pretend.

a false death, in this context.

"but that's just an event mechanic!" true, but it wouldn't be the first time hoyo has dropped lore hints and spoilers within events of all places.

so it raises the question for me, did anaxa die only physically, within the simulation?

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x10, "failure to communicate"

they name-dropped one of my old medications!

no offense to anyone who happens to be on topamax, but that shit almost ruined my life a few years ago and i cringe to hear its name spoken aloud. i'm lamictal gang now. maybe if my former neurologist hadn't "failed to communicate" the side effects to me...

for whatever reason, i love this one. i find it well-rounded, digestible, and a good push forward for house and stacy. they've done a good job of mitigating the "will they, won't they" of it all by not having stacy around 24/7 (i love her character, but their dynamic would get stale quickly). i think the patient story is fascinating, it ties thematically in with the diagnosis, the team's issues, and the stacy b-plot, and it's especially house centric. i gravitate towards those...

famous writer and political journalist fletcher stone is admitted for aphasia, among other things, and the first we meet him, he's giving a retirement speech to his editor and lauding the merits of the journalism field. by his profession, fletcher values exposure, truth, and transparency; he says that you "never give up a source," the later irony being that he becomes the source that cannot be given up because he can't articulate himself.

the remainder of the episode penalizes communication/discovery that's reliant on technology in the same way fletcher's history as a successful journalist privileges in-person stories, getting people face-to-face to answer the hard question. the diagnosis is only discovered after they symbolically "crack" the witness (decode his aphasia) and examine a blood sample under a microscope. even house is loath to communicate via technology (with his cellphone) and resorts to an analogue way of speaking with the patient from hundreds of miles away - writing his broken speech on the airport wall:

this is not to say that 2x10 offers person-to-person communicate as the solution, however. it's never that simple, as myriad mini interpersonal conflicts are inhibiting this case, too:

at the micro level, wilson's tender conversation with an oncology nurse is interrupted by house's phone call (for the better lol). wilson continues to be house's tether to PPTH, too, which is odd because it's never even suggested that fletcher has cancer, but if anyone can get through to house, even amidst a tense encounter with stacy, it would be wilson. lol.

when stacy is with house solving his Medicaid Issue, we see that she can manipulate person-to-person communication well, and that she's very willing to do so. this coincides well with fletcher thematically, who would seek to deconstruct stacy per his career, in the same way house does! piece by piece, exposing, peeling back layers, etc.

foreman, cameron, and chase are wholly at odds now that foreman is "in charge" without house present. cameron's insistence that they're grownups who "can come to a consensus" doesn't pan out well. they frequently come to 3-way ties that cuddy tries to break, and by the time house is Literally called in as the calvary, 3 of fletcher's organ systems have shut down.

mark and stacy's communication is so fractured that they're "fighting over nothing," except the nothing in question is thematically relevant, too - they're fighting about mail delivery! we can assume that they mean to communicate to someone via mail (the slowest, most methodical way), and they can't even cross that hurdle together. oof.

house and stacy can only make amends in retrospect; stacy doesn't even want to talk, going so far as to tell house to shut up once they finally kiss (this was so hot btw). it's also compelling that she breaks her cool first under house's line of questioning (in character), and then in the face of his sincerity (rare for him).

regarding foreman and leadership, i wanted to make a note about what i'm calling High Road Foreman. this coincides with his knack for self-reflection that house doesn't have. the episode starts with cuddy taking lighthearted jabs at his leadership with foreman insisting that he can handle it with house's skill and without his orneriness. but as 2x10 progresses, his confidence waves some. chase takes care to poke fun at this when they encounter an unfinished construction project in fletcher's home:

"he probably thought he could take the project on. then he realized it was a little more than he could handle...what happened to the foreman who always has an answer? the guy who practically wears a sign saying 'i'm as good as house but nicer...'now that it's all on you?"

this is, to me, a true observation, albeit harsh. and while foreman's impulse (and probably most people's) might be to lash out and deny, he makes a distinctly un-house-like choice and admits that "it's different." he's in a new situation, he's adjusting, and he sees that acknowledging that is good for the team overall. he takes the High Road! i just really like this moment; it humanizes foreman so deeply and makes later moments where he's tested (looking at you, "euphoria" parts 1 and 2) even more impactful.

there's also a fleeting moment between cuddy and foreman that i just adore so much that it gets its own section here. foreman begs cuddy to lie to fletcher's wife so they can get the truth out of him; she retorts with, "tell me. if it is you aim to sell me the same crazy ideas that house does, how are you an improvement on house?"

to which foreman says: "i brought you a coffee."

THIS IS JUST SO CUTE. HE'S A NICE GUY, MAN. DON'T LET HOUSE POISON YOU, ERIC. GET OUT OF THERE (i know that you try and that it never works).

finally, i want to note that there is even more evidence of house md conflating "the puzzle" to kindness, or more evidence confirming that house has an innate kindness (that even cameron couldn't quite get to). qualifying house's choice to not sleep with stacy as a way of preserving his conscience feels too easy; he has a dozen other reasons not to besides the case at hand. it's the patient, fletcher, the mystery, that draws him away in the end. he doesn't have any personal connection with fletcher - he solves the episode's endemic communication problem & diagnoses him over the phone - but fletcher here is another iteration of The Puzzle.

the house and stacy arc has been making a beeline for this exact moment. the show even has a precedent for cheating, however subtle through wilson, so audiences may have a hard time imagining house being the bigger person and stopping things. but it's the thematic shift of the puzzle that accomplishes this smoothly. time and time again, characters deem his obsession with "the puzzle" as a horrible flaw of house's. it definitely is, it costs him relationships, happiness, etc., but it's also where his life's work happens. it's how he saves people. it's how he practices that deific sort of love, the all-encompassing kind, that i keep talking about.

overall? excellent episode. i'm not sure if this one is beloved or not. sometimes i feel like my favs are odd choices lol, but i think that 2x10 plays out smoothly, efficiently, and acts as a good momentum push in the middle-ish of the season. plus, everyone got a little screen time. even cuddy!!

also - the wilson slut era is a go. they're charging him up again...2x14 calls to me...

[maxdibert]

The maradeurs fans are so obsessed with diversity that they forget that being part of a marginalized community doesn't necessarily mean you are a better person. Like, they need to make their favorite characters gay or poc, and Snape can only be a cishet white man, as if that somehow makes it morally acceptable to bully him. That's not how it works. Diversity doesn't give you goodness points.

I mean, if they truly believe that Snape was a despicable person who was racist from the beginning, with no redeeming qualities... then he can be all of that, and also be black and/or queer. And if they insist the maradeurs' bullying was no big deal, or that Snape deserved it... then his race or sexual orientation shouldn't be relevant. They are the ones who are defending that bullying is okay under certain circumstances, so they gotta own up to that.

The problem isn’t that they actually want diversity —which would be great if it were honest— it’s that they use it as a get-out-of-jail-free card to excuse the crap their favorite characters pull. Suddenly James is queer, Sirius is Latino, Remus is trans, all so they can pretend that systematically bullying a marginalized, poor kid for seven years was somehow “less bad” because they were oppressed too. As if belonging to a minority gives you a VIP pass to be an asshole to someone more vulnerable. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work like that.

What’s worse is they don’t even realize they’re weaponizing serious stuff like race and sexuality only when it helps clean up their faves’ reputations. But God forbid they consider that Severus could’ve been racialized, queer, neurodivergent, or anything else, because that would blow up their little narrative of “he was just a misogynistic, incel supremacist who had it coming.” And yeah if it turned out Severus was part of a minority too, their tired excuse of “they bullied him because he was a bigot” would fall apart. Because no, darlings, they bullied him because he was a poor, awkward kid with no social clout, no rich daddy, no famous surname, and because James was bored and could.

And the hypocrisy is unreal, they’ll claim they’re against bullying, against oppression, against everything… but they’ll justify literal public torture in the middle of the Hogwarts courtyard because the one doing it is hot and gay in their headcanon. And then they cry when someone dares to point out that maybe Severus had a reason to grow up bitter when four rich brats made his life hell with the staff looking the other way. It’s always the same: you only want diversity when it helps whitewash your faves’ crap, but if it means admitting your precious marauders were classist abusers, you suddenly forget what representation even means.

So yeah having a dick, a pussy, darker skin, lighter skin, or hooking up with whoever you want doesn’t magically make your character a better person or erase their shit track record. And if you’re gonna defend bullying depending on who’s doing it and who’s getting it, at least have the balls to admit it and stop dressing it up as “representation.”

[majaloveschris]

Hey Maja,

You’re level headed, I mean that in the most respectful way. 😅

But I had to flip the situation so to speak and really ask myself hmmm what if we’re all wrong about this being PR, like what if to Chris it looks completely different. He is just a guy from Boston who happened to get famous due to talent. He’s done pr in the past yes and seemed to be authentic.

But just like life people change. Chris was never Steve Rogers, Chris is just a guy like many of people’s exes. What if he decided to do things differently and this is who he chose regardless of how it looks. Maybe he wanted to keep his fandom and image and that’s why it’s so PR looking like he’s playing the Hollywood game, but also working to help establish his wife. I just had to the look at another pov and like Lisa may indeed have accidentally liked something, it happens. Celebs are human and you don’t think they get tired of random strangers talking shit to them or stalking friends and family, you don’t think they’d see how invested online strangers are and try to play with people just to stay relevant and also just because.

Chris is simply living his life like the rest of us and Hollywood dressed him up and he’s played along, but now he’s trying to manage that plus his private life to another celebrity that doesn’t align to the image he held for so long and it’s just coming off as so badly business and fandom wise, but to him he just thought he was smarter and thought oh if I share her online people will love her, maybe he didn’t know she trolled or didn’t care if she did. Chris doesn’t know any of us to care. We assume these celebrities actually give a damn about this fandom shit, but they probably don’t.

People lie, he speaks in interviews that goes to BILLIONS of people so I don’t expect him to tell personal stuff too much more either especially these days, people are crazy. But to the fandoms limited view they see every video dissect every move to mean more that what it actually is.

I just wonder if this has spiraled and eventually we do unfortunately learn that Chris was an image while the real Chris Evans is simply human and this is real and the life he chose to live, just him and not to uphold some fake image, but he’s forced to keep playing that role as well.

If this doesn’t end by Summer or before their next anniversary, I do hope many people start really questioning reality. It’s easy to get caught up in parisocial relationships with celebs and not even know it.

Hi, thank you so much! I think it’s already crossed everyone’s mind at least once that what if this whole thing is real? And I don’t think this thought is bad; I think narrow-mindedly thinking this can’t be anything but fake is much worse, because then you will start misunderstanding everything that comes out and think everything proves something, or your point, which is not true.

Chris has never been and never will be Steve Rogers, and I don’t remember him ever stating the opposite. I never really understood why people thought in the first place that he is like him or can ever be. He is a fictional character after all, and as you said, he is just a guy, filled with flaws like all of us.

But let’s talk a bit about the theory you wrote down: what if this is real, but he is, on purpose, trying to make it look like it was PR? First of all, that would be extremely disrespectful towards his wife. If he decided to marry her, then go ahead and show her off. If he’s actually been doing that, he just made everything worse, because after a while people will realize that he was lying and playing them, and oh, that’s gonna be another shitshow. Because him playing people to make them think it’s not real and doing this just to save himself because he chose a not-so-good person as his wife is even worse than this being real. And while I don’t like Alba at all, that would be really humiliating for her as well. However, I find it highly impossible that this would be the case. I don’t think he is that bad of a human being, and you can clearly see in his body language that their relationship isn’t any more caring and loving behind closed doors as well. I mean, for example, when the NYC pap walk came out, and that random girl uploaded that video where they were seen as well, you could’ve seen how they act when they think they aren’t being recorded.

Lisa’s like, It could’ve been an accident, but considering that she didn’t really interact with her or anything like that, maybe only after this whole thing came out, says a lot, especially when you can see that she is still supportive of Minka, for example.I think these people care about what people say more than you would imagine. Half of the things that are being said and done wouldn’t have been if they didn’t care. Because of this whole whatever-ship, his career took a hit, not even a small one. People unfollowing, fans leaving after decades. His team noticed that; he noticed that. Celebs love saying that they don’t care, but they do, more than you would imagine.

Fans obviously care more than any random person who comes across an interview of his. While I agree that some things are being blown out of proportion, I do think that we can’t deny the inconsistency of their relationship. Even if it’s real, it’s clear they want to sell a love story that most likely never existed.

I do agree that after a while we need to let this story go, even if it turns out to be not real in the end. It’s funny because will we ever actually get to know what this was? Probably not. Even if this ends one day, we will never actually know the truth. But after a while everyone will get tired of this and move on with their life. They either will „accept” her presence in his life, try to forget that she exists, or leave the fandom. Either way, I hope everyone will do what’s best for their mental health because this isn’t worth yours, that’s for sure.