#but i am noticing some patterns in how this post gets interpreted. to say the least

[anistarrose]

Critical Thinking Questions:

Imagine as many different scenarios as you can where a person might tell someone "aros can still date" or "aces can still have sex." Pick two or more of these scenarios to compare. Does the meaning of these phrases change in different contexts? Do you think every speaker of these phrases has the same intent?

Do you think the topic of this post is an "aroace community" issue, or an "asexual community and aromantic community" issue? Do you understand which one of the above is a broader category?

Imagine a scenario in which an aromantic allosexual might be told that "aromantics can still date." In that context, would that phrase be affirming or delegitimizing? Repeat, but imagine a scenario in which an alloromantic asexual might be told that "asexuals can still have sex." In that context, would that phrase be affirming or delegitimizing? If you would like, you may now revisit your answer to Question 2.

Do you think "Asexuals and aromantics can do whatever they want forever" is contradictory to the statements "asexuals can have sex" or "aromantics can date"? If so, then why? If not, then why might OP prefer the phrasing of "do whatever they want forever"? What might "do whatever they want forever" encapsulate that the other statements do not?

Many users are relating this post to fandoms' treatment of asexual and/or aromantic fictional characters. Do you think people's views of real-life a-specs can influence their treatment of a-spec fictional characters? Conversely, do you think their views of a-spec characters can influence their treatment of real a-spec people?

Is the treatment of real a-spec people or of fictional a-spec characters more important? For the category that you considered less important, do you think the treatment of that category is ever relevant or related to how the more important category is treated? (You may reference your answer from Question 5.) Compared to the more important category, how much discussion do you think the less important category deserves? Do you think it may ever be relevant or important to discuss on posts about the category OP sees as more important?

The sentences "Asexuals can still have sex" and "Aromantics can still date" need to go up on the high shelf for everyone except aces and aros talking about their own experiences. From now on, everyone else has to use the revolutionary new phrase "Asexuals and aromantics can do whatever the fuck they want forever."

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello Miss Raven!!! I need a bit of help... And maybe you could help? Perhaps?

I've noticed that in the English translation, they gave Leona this sort of... speech pattern? Style? Idk how to call it, but basically that thing where in his text they tend to replace the words ending with -ing to just -in'. But he doesn't do it in every word I've noticed.. In most, yes, but not all of them. And sometimes they make him say 'n instead of and and such. And a lot of wanna / gonna / gotta instead of writing the full thing. (And sometimes I think I've seen him use "ya" instead of "you", but that one's a bit less common on him from what I can remember)

I think this is a very interesting bit of characterization and I really like it! However, I struggle to implement it whenever I write him in English, since it's not my first language. I find it really hard because I never know when it's too much and when it's an acceptable amount... I never know when to replace the ing → in' while not making it too exaggerated 🥲🥲 I can't manage to make it feel, idk, natural? So I tend to prefer to ignore that aspect of his "speech style" entirely in fear of making him sound weird... Which is a shame, because once again, I think it's a very interesting detail, but I just never seem to get it quite right.

So, I wanted to ask... Since I think your interpretation of him (how you write him in general) is very good, and since I think you're a native english speaker too lol, is there any easy what to remember when to apply such "mannerisms" when writing him or similar characters? Or am I overthinking too much and should I just put it wherever I think it fits nicely? Or do I just put it in all the words ending with -ing with little exceptions?? 😭 I know that this type of written speech is used to represent how someone Says those words, like... spoken. But since I'm not surrounded by people who speak the language, I can't really go about it in that way either 😭 (as in "oh, I'll just listen to people around me and figure it out in that way!")

Okay, so 💦 I want to take a second to remind people (both Anon and my general audience) that I'm NOT open to telling people how to write. Asking for general advice ("how do I get over writer's block", "how do I get inspired", etc.) or about my own experiences is fine, but I'm not comfortable telling others how to write specific Twst characters, OCs, or what to do with their own art. So just know what whatever advice I provide in this post WON'T be me telling you to do X, Y, or Z to arrive at the "correct" answer. At the end of the day, it's only my own interpretation, and to pass around my interpretation as though it is gospel or the "most canon" would be incorrect to say. I understand that some may hold me, my takes, or my writing in high regard, and therefore view me as some kind of fandom authority or someone whose opinion holds a lot of weight. However, I've repeatedly stressed that this makes me uncomfortable and I want to discourage this behavior as much as I can.

Now then, Anon makes a lot of salient points. Every character has a unique way of speaking and their own quirks and mannerisms. There's the very obvious ones like Epel's dialect, but also more subtle things like how Leona (in English) drops the "-g" from the ends of some "-ing" words, how he sometimes uses "'n" in the place of "and", how he tends to use "wanna"/"gonna"/"gotta", and how he sometimes trades "you" for "ya". These are important things to pay attention to if you're trying to capture a character's "voice"! (Yuurei-san has an interesting series of posts about the Twst characters' speech patterns!) Most likely these localization choices were made for Leona's English dialogue in order to reflect his informal manner of speaking in Japanese. For example, he often uses ねぇ~, elongating some of his words sarcastically. If you have access to Twst EN, I'd suggest opening it up and listening to how Leona voices his lines (while you read the English text). If you don't have the game, you can probably still find voice clips on the Twst wiki(s) or on Youtube. That may help you get a sense of his cadence and how he words things. You also need to think about how you write his dialogue and the details around it. Is he mad or annoyed? Maybe tired or just not feelin' it? Consider how mood factors into whether or not Leona chooses standardized or colloquial English. Sometimes he adopts an overly formal and princely tone in some instances, like when he's presenting himself at the book 7 farewell party, so you have to consider situations where he uses formality sarcastically. Again, it really depends on the context. This will require a lot of thinking, judging, and putting yourself in the character's headspace. You won't get it perfect the first time (or even the times after); it'll take lots of trial and error to find something you're happy with.

[thepradapariah]

Astrology Observations

Twin Flames 😇😈, Karmics 🪐 & Soulmates 🕊

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Hello to all the Kosmic Baddies!! And welcome to all the new ones! I ADORE you all. All the positive comments and words of encouragement really make my soul warm and it means the world to me that you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy making it.

You all have given me the energy to write something else! And I appreciate it because I get so bored……………………………………

Thank y’all. Love y’all and I hope y’all enjoy this post. If you aren’t interested in my definitions, you can scroll down to the observations. I promise, I won’t take it personally :)

With Love & Lust,

A-D

INTRODUCTION

Unlike most of my other posts, this is a breakdown for how to read soulmate connections in a chart. Most of these observations are ones that me and my sister made just studying couples in pop culture and in our personal relationships. I thought it would be a fun post to write how I categorize these different kinds of relationships.

This post is probably my most subjective in awhile. These aren’t rules, per-say, but they are patterns I noticed when studying different relationships.

First, I will breakdown MY interpretations of what all these different titles mean, and then I will breakdown how they MAY appear in a chart. It is imperative to have the correct birth details for these observations to reign true. In Vedic Astrology, you don’t have to have a birth time because you can use these same calculations through the Moon chart. (Making the moon sign the ascendent. For instance, I am an Aquarius Sun and an Aries Moon, so my Moon chart starts with Aries. So my first house is in Aries, Second house in Taurus, third house in Gemini etc. My sister on the other hand is a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, so her Moon Chart would be Scorpio in the first house, Sagittarius in the second house, Capricorn in the third house etc. Moon charts are a nifty thing to look at when doing astrological overlays, particularly if you don’t have an accurate birth time).

Again, just a friendly reminder that this is a PERSONAL OPINION piece. Now, for those of you who have been with me for my previous post, you know I’m not talking out my ass. So I can absolutely promise that I am giving you the most educated and thought out explanation that I can give at the moment. I am by no means the final say on ANY of this stuff, I am far from God and don’t want to be the judge or the jury…it is faaaarrr too much work. But please understand that there may be some things in this post you disagree with~ that is LOVELY, share your opinion with me in the comment section, I am more than happy to hear from you and listen to your insight!

But without further ado, let's break this down shall we?

DEFINITIONS

Karma:

Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.: Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.

Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

Soulmates:

Soulmates are just that– a mate for your soul. This is another soul, individual, or essentially another life force that you just “get”. Every relationship comes with its ups and downs and soulmates always seem to find one another no matter what. I find animals to be some of the BEST examples of soulmates out there. Isn’t it crazy how you can form a bond with another life force? I don’t find it to be a coincidence that animals and their hoomans can even look alike!

But enough with the furry friends, let's talk about hooman friends as well! Soulmates can also manifest as people (duh…)– whether super long lasting or a fleeting moment. Some friendships can prove to be some of the most profound soulmates in the course of a lifetime.

And of course…a soulmate can be a lover. We will discuss what can make a soulmate different from a twin flame further in the post. But yes, soulmates can absolutely manifest as boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends/husbands/wifes/partners etc. This is probably the most common and sought after kind of soulmate in mainstream culture, but I cannot express enough how soulmates can manifest in so many different ways. You know how Prince would rock out with that beautiful purple guitar? I consider that guitar to be a soulmate? After all, they shared a vibration and what is a man without his tools? As long as science says that everything is made up of tiny atoms, and each person, place, or thing contains its own vibration, we are bound to time and space by our soul’s connection. These types of connections help us move through the void of the darkness and chaos that is the universe, and we will be defined by the contracts of our souls through lifetimes and eons. (Smeeexxiiii, huh)

Twin Flames:

All twin flames are soulmates, but not all soulmates are twinflames. This is IMPERATIVE to understand when you are defining your connections for yourself. It seems to be trendy in mainstream culture to conflate the two, but these relationships have very distinct qualities and very different karmas (lessons). For the sake of starting on solid ground, let’s say that Twin Flames are like soulmates on steroids. Why? Because the contract level of Twin Flames can be an extremely heightened feeling and bring out the best and worst of ourselves so we can confront ourselves through a mirror like image, a reflection, if you will, so we can truly see ourselves through a 3rd eye perspective. Sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, huh? Well, it kind of is. This may be a hot take, but it is an important one, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. I repeat, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. Why? Again, because this is HIGH level spiritual work that most souls just aren’t prepared to encounter. To be fair, just because it’s high level spiritual work does not equate to it being “high vibrational”. Most Twin Flame journeys deal with lower vibrations in order to raise them. So don’t confuse the work with the payoff. Twin Flames catapult one’s soul to the next dimension when it comes to spiritual growth and learning. One of the most popular modern examples of a Twin Flame relationship is…drum roll, please…Twilight (Spoiler Alert!). Bella started out as an innocent, run-of-the-mill suburban average teenage boring, blah blah blah, nothing-special kind of girl, with perhaps a proclivity towards darkness, who got entangled with a 300 year old vampire (or however old….), went on to experience the highs and very very very lows of a relationship, flirted with death, lost him, got him again, was deflowered, got pregnant, damn near lost her life trying to give birth and ultimately had to be “killed”/ “turned” by Edward– literally (or figuratively because it’s in a book…) “dying” to be born again and made anew. Essentially growing from an innocent virginal girl, to a very powerful woman & mother. Meanwhile, Jacob, who I would argue is simply a soulmate (see the difference…he was obviously the “safer” choice, but would not have sparked that dramatic of a shift in her soul) just watches from the sidelines. It’s just worth noting how traumatic that entire 4-book series and 5-part movie is from Bella’s perspective, but also from Edward’s. His darkness engulfed her willingly, like Hades to Perspephone. He wasn’t really a willing participant– until he unleashed all his passions and desires onto her. She reflected back to him a purer version of himself that was lost to the past and to his “vampirism”, while she was drawn to him to take her out of the mundane expectations of suburban living. Both parties were made to sacrifice a sacred part of themselves in order to embrace one another, but ultimately to embrace their truest form. For Bella, it was her becoming a mind-bending vampire…a FAR cry from the less than average suburban girl she started as. And for Edward, it was to bring love and happiness back into his life. He had to let go of his “I’m a monster” perspective of himself and see that although he is a lust driven, blood sucking, overly wealthy, perpetual teenager…he is…in fact, worthy of love. Awwww…now isn’t that just…romantic? To the teenage version of me…yes. To the adult version of me who has bills to pay…not so much. However, the story is a powerful one because it clearly illustrates the drama, the passion, the highs, the lows, the love, the lust, the hate, the envy in a spiritual twin flame connection.

(Tangent, but the word envy made me realize another key difference in the twin flame journey versus the soulmate or karmic journey…Envy plays a major part in twin flame relationships. There is something that you feel your twin has, that you feel like you don’t. Going back to our Twilight example, Bella envied Edward for his mystique, and his seemingly other worldly experiences. She envied his relationship to his own darkness. She found him interesting, to say the least. He was a masterful artist, a great pianist, wicked smart, and a selfless individual. Bella, at best, was a mid-level high school student. She didn’t have any talent, any hobbies, any desires. She was very boring and humdrum. She envied him for being so ridiculously complex. She was essentially a blackhole, wanting to be filled by him– sexually, physically, mentally, etc…She wanted nothing more than to dissolve into his world, inheriting his self-hatred and his life issues (like the Volutrie)...she envied his essence. On the other hand, Edward was envious of her purity. He found deep comfort in her lack-lusterness. She was beyond ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, she became extraordinary to him. To see a virginal young woman, full of life, and promise, brought him great desire. A desire he fought for like 3 books/movies. Edward, was by far, the “runner” in this scenario because he absolutely felt that his presence in Bella’s life would destroy her. And for what it’s worth, he was absolutely correct. He demolished her from the inside out– taking her virginity to ultimately making her a mother, an evolutionary act within itself. The triumph of the virgin to the whore pipeline (lol, no pun intended, but pun definitely accepted). Tangent over lol)

BUT what makes them a twin flame specific quality is the fact that you realize, you are actually the same. Edward was equally as dark as he was pure and same for Bella. There was no need to envy one another because they were both capable of all states of being. Edward and Bella are a good and bad example of twin flames, because they are the rare twin flames that stay together. So it’s beautiful they were able to find a middle ground and create a child and merge families–blah blah blah…but, that is pretty uncommon. MOST, not all, but MOST twins do not end up with a happily ever after. They usually are unable to reconcile their souls' differences. These relationships are usually to prepare one another for a high vibrational soulmate.

Karmic Soulmates:

Karmic Soulmates, are souls that have past-life unfinished business OR are meant to inspire a lesson that may or may not be resolved in this life in general. Karma/Karmic is a neutral term, so this type of relationship doesn’t have to be inherently good or inherently bad. It is a relationship that brings forth lessons so the soul can carry out the rest of its karmic mission. These relationships can play out in a romantic way, but they tend to be more on the platonic side. You can be in a Karmic relationship with your mother, brother, sister, teacher, etc. as well as a place! You can have a significant bond with a city, country, place and time. Anything that promotes the soul’s growth through support, challenges and forces you to learn, is a karmic contract/soulmate.

You are certainly meant to learn. But because of Karma being ruled by the planet Saturn, these relationships can go on for a long time, can be extremely difficult and will keep pressisting until the lesson is learned and the karma is fulfilled.

Karmics tend to have a negative connotation, particularly in the youtube tarot world, but it genuinely doesn’t have to be. In fact, I argue that all significant relationships are inherently karmic– be it clearing up Karma from a past-life, or creating new karma for the next.

Always remember, the universe is neutral. Lessons are neutral. Love/Hate is…neutral. We need not judge the nature of any relationship, including our own, if it means to help enlighten, enrich and grow our souls. We are social creatures and we don’t learn lessons about ourselves in a vacuum. Different souls, people, places, and things can trigger our growth in ways that we are incapable of imagining beforehand.

I say all that to say, as one of my favorite quotes from a family friend who passed away years ago said, “some things, you just don’t need to experience”. There will be times in life where you touch the fire and need to feel it to get burned…other times, you will know what that burning feels like and will turn away. This is the perfect system of Karma. Sometimes you will get burned, whether you “asked for it” or not, and other times, you will know that there is no need to even play with the fire to begin with.

So take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of whiskey! Life is supposed to be fun…even the not so fun parts! Live, laugh, love, lust & learn! Enjoy the moment.

(This is a great example of a non romantic karmic, he wrote this song for his grandmother who passed & it catapulted him to another dimension career wise)

OBSERVATIONS

Observation 1

Do not underestimate the power of Chinese Astrology

Hear. Me. Out. I haven’t found a more accurate astrology for relationships than Chinese astrology. Crazy, I know. But Chinese Astrology is extremely straightforward. Screw the birth times, you just need a month and year and you’ve got all you need. I always joke that I exclusively date through Chinese Astrology, but I am seriously only half kidding (lol). I kid you not, whenever I study my relationships through this particular astrological lens, I am genuinely AWE STRUCK with how uncannily accurate it is. Try it! Next time you find yourself dating, or even checking the compatibility with your current mate, read a few articles and see how it lines up for you. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I manifest partners through their Chinese zodiac because I am so passionate about it! It hasn’t let me down yet!

***Note: I don’t have this as an official observation because it’s not astrologically based, but look into numerology as well when studying compatibility! It is VERY insightful.

Observation 2

Usually Twin Flames/Soulmates have Gemini placements somewhere in their personal planets or ascendent

So this take may not sit well with everyone, because you may feel limited in the types of soulmates you can encounter if you don’t have any Gemini placements. Fret not, keep reading, you may fit in another category.

I am not saying that this is the LAW, I am saying this simply is something I have noticed when studying what I consider twin flame relationships. In most Twin Flame/Soulmate relationships, the Zodiac sign of the twin is usually present for BOTH individuals/souls. The psychic nature of Gemini makes it very easy to just “get” someone, and feel as if you’ve known them for years. Have you ever heard two Geminis talk to one another? It can be hard to keep up with them!

Soooooo…..I feel the same to be true when it comes to these kinds of intense relationships.

It is also worth noting that Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Mercury/Hermes in Greek Mythology is the only God that can travel between Mt. Olympus (Heaven, so to speak) and The Underworld (Hell, if you will). I think this is important because it demonstrates why Gemini placements in particular can experience a love of such depth. It can go into the pits of hell and to the glories of heaven with ease, making it one of the most valuable placements for a twin flame relationship.

Another note is, in traditional tarot, The Lovers card is depicted by the twins. I feel this is a significant indicator of a deep soulmate connection because of the telepathy and how intertwined lovers/gemini energy can be. The inherent closeness of these soulmates is intrinsic to closeness that is required for any level soulmate/twinflame. Nonverbal communication can play a major role in these types of connections. As chatty as Geminis can be, it’s what they don’t say that ACTUALLY matters. Only another Gemini person would understand that.

Now, Virgo is also ruled by Mercury, but Venus is in detriment in the sign of Virgo. I don’t think Virgo fits this description as well, because Virgo is inherently about solitude, represented by The Hermit in traditional tarot, making it more about virginity/purity than about a 3D twin flame physical connection. To be honest, I just haven’t witnessed it as much when dissecting charts, but I will study it more and perhaps my opinion will change. But as of right now, I don’t believe Virgo placements depict as strong of a connection as Gemini in this case. Feel free to prove me wrong! I’m always open.

Back to Geminis…It seems so weird that Gemini energy would be the ones who attract such intense relationships because they seem so, unloving…but one of my favorite Gemini on Gemini relationships is Courtney Love (Gemini Sun & Moon) and Kurt Cobain (Gemini Moon). Ooof. OOOF. But it was like they had their own language and lived in their own world. Now, that relationship ended up in tragedy…but hey…they had some “fun” moments. They were so similar and too similar at the same time, that it fueled an outwardly bizarre connection, but to them it made perfect sense. This is the power that a double gemini connection can have. Minus to tragedy part.

Observation 3

Twin Flames almost always have the SAME zodiac placements or DIRECT OPPOSITE zodiac placements.

This rule, without fail, is one of the most important and powerful observations that I have come across. If you are checking the zodiac for twin flame compatibility, I will almost say YOU MUST have the same or opposite placements in the big three (rising, sun, moon) and/or Venus and Mars.

This can be ANY SIGN in ANY HOUSE.

For example: You have Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Rising in Sagittarius…Your twin could have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Taurus, Rising in Aries. Because the Sun and Moon are in opposite signs, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

Another example: You have Sun in Gemini, Moon in Aquarius, Rising in Pisces…Your twin could have Sun in Libra, Moon in Leo, Rising in Aquarius. Because the Moon and Rising are in the same sign, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

You can mix and match, as long as something mixes and other things matches (lol). I’ve seen so many charts of couples that share placements or have opposite placements and immediately I go “uh! Twin Flame!”.

I think this is due to the illicit push and pull nature/mirroring nature of Twin Flame relationships.

This is where “real” science comes in. All energy has an action and a reaction to create equilibrium. This is why this particular observation is so important. As I’ve stated from the beginning, when it comes to Twin Flame relationships, they are meant to teach, expand, challenge and heal, so it makes sense that you would be met with the opposite force and attract one another OR the same force and repel one another. (Let’s talk physics…think magnets…two positives and two negatives repel, but a negative and a positive attract…woot woot! Call me Bill Nye biiisshhhessss) The entire effect is to make your soul ebb and flow so it can reach a state of neutrality. You want someone to challenge your opinions and your sense of self so you can know what/ who you are. If you’ve never had a mirror, how do you know what you look like? Again, the same is true when someone is so similar to you. You may look at them and go “wow, is this how I come off?”. Just to reemphasis, I don’t want this to come across as an inherently negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. It just usually requires a highly developed spiritual understanding to see that. This particular alignment can give the “can’t live with em, can’t live without em” feeling.

If you have complementary placements, like your Sun is in Capricorn and your partner has their Moon in Taurus, this may be more of an indication of a soulmate connection. The same can be true if you are both air/air or air/fire or water/water or water/earth.

Now, another way you can see it is if you have opposing elements. But, I don’t think it reads as strong as actual zodiac signs.

Just to be clear, all my examples thus far have been using Sun, Moon and Rising, but this trick can extend to Mars and Venus. So let’s say you have Venus in Cancer and your partner has Mars in Capricorn…it counts!

Observation 4

For long-term compatibility, your partner’s Venus will be the same as one of your placements in your big three or your venus– ESPECIALLY WOMAN in Heteronormative connections or Males in same-sex relationships.

Trigger warning for those who are sensitive about pronouns…please use your imagination. I am talking about ANCIENT astrology, so it is rooted in traditional gender norms. You may disagree, that is fine, no judgment, but for the sake of this observation, you can bear with me…or ignore it. The choice is yours!

Now, I am talking about a man’s Venus placement here. In traditional astrology, Venus indicates the man’s wife. So if your “man” has Venus in Pisces, you may have Pisces Sun, Moon, Rising OR Venus/any other water placements. This would make you complementary. In fact, I would say if his Venus placement aligns with your chart, other placements in the chart won’t matter as much.

For example, You are a Gemini Sun, Libra Moon, Aquarius Rising. If your partner is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, BUT their Venus is in Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra…you’re in luck! From the big three, it may seem as if you are completely incompatible, but low and behold, your partner loves what you are putting down, so the “differences” may not be so different after all.

Venus is EXTREMELY important to long-term relationships. So is the 7th house. I won’t go down that rabbit hole for this particular post, but keep that in the back of your mind.

These connections may not be as intense as Twin Flame, but this is certainly a great indication for a wonderful connection. Let me say, like I said in the beginning, not every soul needs to experience a twin flame connection for its evolution. If you are wanting something more grounded, then follow this rule of thumb when checking initial compatibility with a partner.

BONUS: If your person’s Venus falls in your first house, this is a great indication of producing love at first sight! Now…other placements matter, obviously, but this is an extremely powerful indication of strong, immediate, attraction.

Side Note: For Women, you would look at your Jupiter placement for compatibility with your “husband”! I find that you can also use this rule for Mars when it comes to “boyfriends” as well.

Observation 5

Synastry and Overlays Matter!!!!!!!

Definitions:

Synastry- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates the planetary alignment between two individuals.

Examples- Mars conjunct Venus or Sun trine Saturn

Overlay- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates how a person’s planets fall into another person’s house system.

Examples- Person A’s Jupiter is in Person B’s 8th House. Or Person A Venus sits in Person B’s First House.

(if these are new concepts to you, I HIGHLY suggest you do some research. Tumblr has some wonderful posts dedicated to these practices that are highly informative. I would love to do posts concerning synastry and overlays in the future!)

Okay, this may be the MOST important observation, but it is more advanced than Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus compatibility. This requires you to have knowledge of the WHOLE HOUSE system (sorry, western astrology) and deep comprehension of planets, conjunctions, oppositions, trines, squares and aaaaallll that good stuff.

My sister and I LOVE synastry and overlays. It really puts entire relationships into context to see how your chart lines up and what underlying energies you’re dealing with, regardless of the actual placements. How the planets react to one another and how those planets show up in your chart is MUY IMPORTANTE! Chances are, if you’ve read these other rules and they haven’t resonated with you, I guarantee, you’ve had a relationship that is based more on planetary alignment than zodiac compatibility.

(Just to be clear…this is why I started off with Chinese astrology…Chinese astrology is INSANELY accurate and doesn’t require nearly as much study as what I am saying here. DO NOT underestimate the power of Chinese astrology when it comes to compatibility. I love how accurate it is with very little information.)

With this rule, you don’t need birth times, but my goodness do they make an impact when doing overlays. If you don’t have accurate birth times, always remember you can do it off the moon chart, which essentially makes the moon the ascendent sign. Just know, for an accurate overlay, you will need to use the moon sign for BOTH charts. It will not be as accurate if you use your birth chart with an accurate birth time and overlay to their moon sign. It isn’t “wrong” per say, it just isn’t nearly as precise. You want to use the same charts. Moon charts overlay one another and natal charts overlay one another. If you have both birth times, then do both! Go wild! The more the merrier!

Now, I am not going to go in depth about what these two practices mean, because that’s an entire post within itself and I wanted to keep this one “short and sweet”. But I will say, for a rule of thumb, if you have strong trines, oppositions, and conjunctions with a person, that is an indicator of a twin flame, soulmate, and karmic connection. If you have Saturn, Pluto, Venus, Neptune and Mars with low orbs, this can indicate a soul contract/intense connection. If yours or their placements sit in your 1st/7th/8th/12th house, this can be a VERY strong indication of a powerful & spiritual connection. There are plenty of ways this can be mixed and matched. The relationship between two charts is so important, they are a study within themselves. I am only scratching the surface here, so if you are a novice, again, I cannot express enough how exciting it is to do some digging when it comes to this stuff in relationships.

There are plenty of free synastry calculators online, so please use them as a resource– even if you don’t understand the calculations, it is important to see the results. These placements can truly unlock a much deeper understanding of your relationships that you just won’t get when it comes to looking solely at your charts at face value!

Let me know if you’d like me to discuss these topics further moving forward! You know I love to spread the knowledge, and there is just something so sexy about synastry and overlays…it’s honestly one of my favorite parts about Vedic astrology!

Bonus: North Node/Rahu and South Node/Ketu can play a VITAL role when determining what kind of karmic relationship you are in.

POP QUIZ

Just kidding, there is no test, because I’m too lazy to grade anything, BUT here is an example of what I’m talking about when combining the previous observations. I am not doing a super deep dive, but I want you to see how everything overlaps and intersects.

Let’s use Rihanna and ASAP Rocky as an example. Their connection hits on a few different cylinders. Rihanna is an Aquarius Sun and ASAP Rocky has his Venus in Leo. Why does this matter? Although Rihanna is an opposite, so Sun opposition Venus, which is twin flame-y, she is a FAMOUS, CREATIVE, ENTERTAINER and MUSE…this is ALL dealing of the 5th House/Leo energy, so it make sense…for now…as to why he would be attracted to her. She has No Leo placements in her big three, but because it’s the opposite, we go to that push-pull magnet thing I was talking about earlier. As far as how their relationship will play out long-term, I have ZERO idea, but I can say their attraction to one another is very real, but it will probably be volatile at times because of the Sun Venus Opposition. I’m sure her ego will cause difficulties to his love language, BUT he may be able to take it, because his Venus is ruled by the Sun. See how layered and complex it can be? And we are just looking at one placement. They work because he enjoys the attention that she brings (not in a vampire way, just in a “wow, isn’t my lady so cool” kind of way) and he allows her to shine without dimming her light, while she enjoys the fawning that he gives her. He loves that his partner is larger than life and Rihanna is larger than life because…well…she’s Rihanna. She is able to appreciate him, because at this point in time, he doens’t in any way seem like he is trying to compete with her. He is a confident person who can stand beside and behind such a force, BECAUSE he has such a strong Venus placement.***

Relationships aren’t black and white. These are just observations and rules/patterns that I have found to be true. But as you’ll see, as I have presented, some things will contradict, some things won't make sense, what makes sense for one chart doesn’t make sense for another. Etc… This is such a fun topic because it really is like a puzzle. And it really is a case by case basis. The more in depth you can look at a chart, the more knowledge you can walk away with.

FINAL THOUGHTS/MINI RANT

Oof….okay, what a ride! (Can you believe I had the intention of this being a short post. HA!) I hope that you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new! As you can see…there is a very intricate science behind how soulmates/karmics and twin flames work. It is so much deeper than saying “oh wow, that’s my twin flame”...like…maybe? I feel mainstream spirituality/astrology/tarot has taken that phrase and run with it. And saying “if you identify as twin flames then you are” is misleading. It really isn’t something you “identify” with. They either are or are not your twin flame. There isn’t an in between. It is not ambiguous and it can be fact checked. Also, twin flame makes it seem like you can only have one…I don’t think that’s the case. I think you meet as many “twins”/mirrors/soulmates/karmics as you need until your soul learns the lesson. Have you ever felt like you just keep meeting the same person over and over and over again? That’s because we are talking about soul recognition and not necessarily 3D body recognition.

You may be attracting different “people”, but you could be attracting the same “spirit”. So don’t always get so hung up on a particular person. TRUST ME BABES, if there is unfinished business, that same energy will come back around over and over and over and over again until you geeeetttt ittttt.

Another note is, if you’re like me, and you have exalted Venus in Pisces conjunct Ketu…then every relationship feels twin-flame-y. Why? Because I have my relationship planet tightly conjunct my south node, so I am on a spiritual journey on my own when it comes to relationships…my twin flame is most likely…Jesus Christ…sooooooo……yeah. (I kid, I kid, but not really. My placement can indicate being a nun…and trust me, after dealing with the crap I’ve had to put up with when it comes to these men folks, I have absolutely considered giving my body to God…cuz these men just don’t do right…lol…anyways…) Men and relationships have become my life’s work…which is why I am here sharing this information with you today. Each relationship is very nuanced but all have similar themes.

I am very much into tarot and astrology and all the things, but I do feel like there is a fad going around about this twin flame business. And as much as I enjoy a tarot reading popping up on my tiktok talking about my “twin”, I am always acutely aware that it can be a mislabeling and inspire people to put up with all kinds of crap for the sake of the label. If you’re going to be in a shxtty relationship, then be in a shxtty relationship, but don’t misuse the word. Twin Flame does not automatically translate to terrible, explosive, runner-chaser relationships and it does not excuse poor behavior. There is a difference between someone who is making mistakes because they are trying to learn and someone who is taking advantage of someone who won’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes, someone you like, just doesn't like you and your ego in tandem with your fear of rejection/abandonment is preventing you from actually growing and pursuing a relationship that would benefit and promote your soul’s growth. It’s almost like getting stuck on level one of a video game. Until you beat that internal need for validation from one specific person/soul…you’ll never get to play the next part of the game. Now…this isn’t me saying that soulmate/twin flame/karmic relationships don’t have their downsides, but I am saying, at least know the kind of energies you’re dealing with before you go putting pressure on a presumably less evolved/knowledgeable individual expecting them to “challenge your soul” and you haven’t even challenged yourself. This whole twin flame ordeal is like handing a toddler some markers and leaving them alone in a room full of white walls– it is bound to get messy. Soulmates are a BEAUTIFUL thing. And very rarely, I mean VERY rarely can a twin flame move into a more relaxed “soulmate” relationship. It is not impossible, but the amount of effort that is required to transcend, is unbelievable. BOTH PARTIES have to be spiritually mature and aware to do the work. This connection is NOT one sided…BOTH individuals are required to learn, grow and HEAL. Mind you, healing is the main reason for these kinds of relationships. There is no way to heal when your relationships keep pouring salt into an open wound. People can get caught up with and hang on to people for far too long because of a mislabeling. It is equivalent to a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. Sure, you may have a cold, but if they misdiagnose you with a broken leg…are you receiving the right treatment? NO! And now you won’t heal properly! TO BE CLEAR…I believe in fate– so if you meet someone and you have an extraordinarily intense connection, you probably fit one or more of these rules and THAT IS why I am making this post. I want you to do the research for your own sanity so you can express FREE-WILL in whether you want to walk down that path or not with a certain individual– while also knowing the other person has free-will too. No label, or synastry, or overlay, or Chinese compatibility will change the fact that you may be fated to meet someone, but free-will may take you down different paths.

On another, equally important note…It is also possible to end up and stay with the wrong person. It is! You may look at a chart and follow some of these patterns and realize, you have NO BUSINESS with that individual. But people end up with the wrong people all the time. People have wasted LIFETIMES with someone they had no business with. But their ego decided they were a “soulmate” or a “twin flame” or they aren’t “healed”/spiritually awaken enough to realize they can do better…and low and behold…they were wrong and they wasted precious time. Now they’re miserable, can’t figure out why, and they end walking straight past a real soulmate in a supermarket…unable to even recognize them because they are so bogged down and clouded in their unhealed ego and a bad relationship that has cut them so far off from their own divinity, they can’t recognize love if it smacked them in the face. DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!

THERE ARE LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! Not every soulmate will be as intense as the next. Not every boyfriend/girlfriend will be as compatible as the last. Love is a game of musical chairs. There is movement, there is stillness, seats get taken away, and eventually, there is a winner. And babe, it will ALWAYS be you. You will always be the last one standing when it comes to relationships because you have free-will. (Let’s not forget the importance of the 1st House/7th House axis. You vs Relationships. It is as equally you as it is them.) You are bound by nothing. You are bound to no one. You are love. You are light. If you do the work, you may find a wonderful, loving, long-lasting relationship full of romance, but this is not guaranteed. You AND your partner have to choose each other every single day. The best relationships require discipline, work, forgiveness, “God”/some higher power, and love– no matter who you cross paths with in this life…you have to do this for yourself first and foremost. Alas, if you are too caught up in people who won’t meet you in the 3D, let alone the 5D…you will always fall flat of what you are looking for. The chair will always be ripped from under you when the music stops. Always. All of this is irrelevant if it doesn’t come from within. And this is why I want to express it one last time…NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. You don’t understand how much you have to overcome rejection, overcome fear, overcome lust, desire, ego ALL the things, to open yourself up enough to join forces with another soul and try to tackle life together. Your ultimate lover is not your savior– they are your equal. You have to save yourself. You are not your ultimate lover’s savior. THEY have to save themselves. You ain’t super(wo)man and they aren’t either. Your partner has to be willing to do the same work…THAT’S what makes them a twin. It is not because they are treating you like shxt, babes…

Learn the lessons. Do the work. Love every bit of the journey…especially the crappy parts, because THAT’S what will make it all worth it in the end and you’ll enjoy the beautiful parts as much as the Greek Gods enjoy sweet nectar and ambrosia.

Why is this important to differentiate? Why now?

Now, one thing is for sure…and two things for certain, I am psychic and I have seen in my crystal ball that there is heavy energy of union in the atmosphere. I am hoping that whoever stumbles upon this post, is on the path of self-discovery which ultimately leads to liberation because not all union is good union. (I think covid brought in a lot of bad unions for example…but that is another topic for another day). The days are getting darker, and the evil forces are getting stronger (am I being dramatic enough for ya?) so it is important to know exactly what we are all up against. Only few are chosen to be in relationships that are led by light. There is so much overwhelming darkness now and I don’t want anyone that I am influencing to fall into the trap. There is potential for WONDERFUL, POWERFUL, SEXY, LOVING, LONG-LASTING & HIGHLY SPIRITUAL unions right now. But you may be tempted by something that seems beautiful and it is nothing of the sort. So please, do your research. Love with all your heart. Let spirit lead you! Let love find you, there is no need to seek it out! Take calculated risk! Open up your heart chakra! But ultimately, always be mindful of the wolves in sheep's clothing.

Ciao ✌🏾

[lilisouless]

Why 75% of problems in this fandom ends up circling back to this...?

Okay, a lot of Kuwei hate post got deleted or no longer tagged (thankfully, it was irritating) so i don´t have enought proof to set it as a pattern

But, yesterday i was specially upset and actually got into the pinterest of the person who did the post.

Before scrolling further, let me ask you something: what would you asume about prefferences soc fandom speaking?

Zoya´s biggest haters are either D@rkling stans or Nic@lina stans

Mal´s biggest haters are D@rklina or Nik@lna stans

Hanne´s biggest haters are Helnik or Matthias stans

You see the correlation

So the logic thing to asume Kuwei´s biggest haters are Wylan or Wesper stans, correct?

Yet, i would need to see more to confirm but most of the Kuwei hate post doesn't come from Wylan stans, sure they are Wylan fans but they don't have him on main. No, for some reason, of the (admitely few) people i got to see that were nasty about Kuwei, their favorite was Kaz. I say this because this is such a WEIRD correlation and yet makes some sense , now that i think about it, a lot of the "Wylan is mean at Kuwei" posts have on the text of the tags "Kaz being a proud dad"

I already said before that most of Wylan´s mischaracterization mostly comes from interpreting the crows as extensions and i have noticed how it´s the root of plenty of this fandom´s worst problems:

Uwu baby Wylan? for the sake of making him Kaz´s morality pet and son figure

Evil yandere Wylan? For the sake of making Kaz a role model godlike figure and Wylan´s father figure

Jesper is just the comic relief? For the sake of making him Kaz´s sidekick, reconigzing his dept is reconigzing Kaz messed up with him

Nina as just Kanej´s funny cheerleader and (like on the show) erasing her friendship with Inej and making Kaz her most important person? I think this goes without saying

And i don't think Inej needs to be explained either

I am noy saying you can't like Kaz. have it as a fave, make fanworks exclusively of Kaz, just pointing out that there are problems with a VERY clear root, which is not Kaz not his writing, it´s fans that (just like Eric Heisserer) let their fanatism for him affect the other crows, an apparently it extends to Kuwei too.

Also, if Kuwei´s haters were hardcore Wylan fans or Wesper stans i may think that they just hate him for coming in between a ship andit probably is , yes. But is not the character or ship that they are passionated the most. Which makes me be one step more sure that Kuwei´s race is in fact NOT a side thing, if it was Wylan/Wesper hardcore fans i would believe they hate this character this unreasonably because he gets between the ship and just happens to be a man of color, but the fact that Wylan is not their fav makes me feel that there ARE racial motivations behind the Kuwei hatred. Maybe not ALL the elements but it´s too abnormal for a character so unrelated to your ultimate fav (shipping wise) as Kaz & Kuwei are. Not saying it´s the main element or a crucial one but IT´S an element, otherwise i dont' explain it.

Why is this important to say this? Because people need to see that Kuwei hate is actually coming from a very toxic plave, That wesper/wylan fandom should actually not get into it (if not for Kuwei then do it because it comes from people that mischaracterize and reduce Wylan to a pet) and, specially because we can´t let Kaz become the soc version of the d@rkling in this sense (of being the root of the worst fandom takes and interpretations)

[wherethemoonguides]

over the course of the shipping polls, me and a lot of other people have noticed some major issues in the fandom that i honestly believe need to be addressed.

the shipping in the les mis fandom can be incredibly problematic.

what do i mean by this? simple, people are too defensive over their favs or being honest, ship stuff that is straight up illegal (yes it's fiction, but would you really apply some of these ships to real life? No. No you wouldn't). i believe this is a topic that needs to be talked about, hence this post.

to start, i've noticed that especially a lot of the fanbase can get SO incredibly rude about other people's ships winning or putting more effort into winning which? is incredibly unfair and an insane way to behave. i fully understand being disappointed in your fav not making it but the moment it delves onto making subtle hate posts about specific people that’s when you’re taking it too far.

another issue is the fact that a lot of the fandom normalise proshipping. someone needed to say it!

since i've been in the fandom i have seen an unbelievable amount of minor x adult content, incest and a lot of other things. before you say "oh, every fandom has people like that", they do BUT it is too normalised in this fandom? i have NEVER seen anyone talk out about how weird it is for people to be shipping the Thenardier kids (who are all aged under 17) for example, with ANY adult characters (Javert, Montparnasse, the students, members of the Patron-Minette and most of the time this is smut where people do NOT age these characters up! which, even needing to age a character up to ship them is such an insane thing (how do you see a child character and say "they need to be aged up so i can ship them with this adult") because that isn't normal behaviour!!!!

another major issue is that a lot of these characters are reduced down to ships, for example, i could perhaps mention javert and somehow it'll link to valvert and then his character is immediately reduced down to liking valjean or vice versa. same with enjolras and grantaire, ive noticed that grantaire can't be mentioned in a conversation on his own without enjolras being related even though he can be a great character without looking solely at enjoltaire.

i really, really love this fandom but it is so discouraging to interact with it sometimes because of the content i see and how NO ONE else talks about it. maybe it's because i'm younger than most of the fandom and i have a different view on it (im a minor) and for me and others, seeing adults ship children with characters MUCH older than them is so uncomfortable to see!

and yes, tag blocking is a system on tumblr which i use before anyone suggests it, but if you use this feature you'd know it doesn't always work and a lot of these posts/ blogs i've blocked can still appear through other people's reblogs.

i will add, i am NOT saying every single shipper is like this because not everyone is! what i am saying is its a pattern myself and others have started to notice more and more and its honestly really concerning to me. i know that les mis has a lot of different ways people interpret characters, ships, etc, but i really do believe there’s a point where certain things should not be encouraged and it becomes too much and hurtful.

that’s enough for now, i honestly have a lot of thoughts about this topic but… thanks for reading this if anyone did, i'd love to hear others opinions on this because i really do believe this is a subject that NEEDS to be talked about

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Don't mind me....

Just casually thinking about how Wooly might just be like Amanda with different coping mechanisms. LET'S DISCUSS!

I'm talking specfically about Wooly's verse in Play My Way.

"Now watch us play our part. Now watch us dance and sing. Don't let it break your heart just play along and never-"

We see an image of Wooly half in demon form. (Similar to Amanda in the lonely kitten scene). And then we see Wooly covered in blood. But I realized something... is it just me or...

Do these blood patterns look kind of similar? Was it foreshadowing? Or is it telling us what really happened... so as far as I can deduce... Wooly lost control over himself, demoned out, and killed Mr. Fox. Amanda prolly hid the body for him but not after playing with it a little cuz it's Amanda you know how she is. Morbid girl's gotta get her thrills somehow. ANYWAY- I find it interesting how Wooly says "just play along and never-" before those two frames show up. Because... what is something Wooly is ALWAYS doing? Playing along, to the point he raises suspicion from both Amanda and the audience. But considering the way all these images line up... could playing along be some way of maintaining control? Over himself and the situation? My personal headcanon/theory is that Wooly for the most part is in this for himself. I mean like post being trapped in here he doesn't seem to pay any notice to the children getting trapped and he doesn't seem to really care about Amanda's wellbeing. Well he does, like he shows concern for her but he never acts on it. So... I think most of his actions in the games are more for his own self interest and peace of mind. A way of maintaining his own sanity by simply bottling things up and ignoring the problem. I'm not saying he was never a Hameln employee whether it be a doctor or child actor... but I don't think his actions are in Hameln's interest anymore. Heck, it's always a possibility he was put in here with Amanda as a punishment of some sort. That said, my main theory about Wooly is that he was a child actor who had been with Hameln much longer than Amanda.

Anyway, this video gave me a new interpretation of Wooly. Wooly is very much like Amanda, where he has his own demon to control and his own Hameln trauma probably. He just handles it in a much different way. He bottles things up and plays along as a way of keeping control and certainty over himself and the situation. But just like Amanda, he has his breaking points and is prone to snap. It's possible that especially in the first game, if I'm right that this takes place before that, he might've been repressing extra hard out of fear that he might snap again. But in the second game, it seems like he's beginning to break down again, especially towards the end and in the "We can Fix it!" tape. I really hope we see one or both Amanda and Wooly demon-out again because I really want to know how that whole thing works. The demons appear when their upset but not every time they are upset. They seem to demon-out when they are having a complete breakdown but what is this exactly? Is the demon taking over their TV counterpart? Why? Plus, why does this lead to violence? All I can say for sure is I am so hyped to learn more about Amanda and Wooly in the third game. I really hope we get more demon lore too!

[goomyloid]

hi sorry if this is a lot BUT! i have really enjoyed your art for a while and for some reason only now thought to actually go thru your blog.. i saw you tag a lot of things as kriselle and i found your post explaining that and. yeah i think i get you

bc like to me im not a fan of them romantically unless it’s specifically focusing on the fucked-upness of snowgrave. in that case it hurts but it’s like. reeeaaally interesting

but they’re also like. they can’t be accurately described as “friends.” they’re so close and so far from one another. they grew up together. they both know things nobody else does. they understand each other better than anyone else. and yet they haven’t talked much in years. noelle questions if kris is even her friend. they’re not quite friends but also, of course they are, how could they ever not be

anyways all this to say umm. kris and noelle make one go insane

hiii!! thank you for enjoying my art firstly 🥺🥺🥺 i have a disease and its called draw kris and noelle as many times as humanly possible. i am indeed insane

when it comes to pairings i think it might just be the gray area between (or outside of) friendship and romance that is unexplainable and comforting but still strange (this is a pattern ive noticed for almost all pairings i like, romantic or not...) like just being able to look at a couple of characters and recognize the unique closeness they have with each other...

that being said i will support romantic kriselle shippers till my dying breath LMAO its just not My Vision (you get me)... i think i ended up saying this on twitter a couple times but whatever those two have going on in the estranged childhood friends department is just infinitely more interesting to me LOL. and it becomes easier to tag things as kriselle even if theyre literally Just Standing In the Same Image Together

(i actually filled out one of my own ship charts for them, and when i posted it i was very nervous about somehow multi-track drifting into simultaneously disappointing everyone in some way (for being an apparent kriselle shipper and/or not actually shipping them romantically) So it makes me happy that people out there understand where im coming from with my interpretations of them...)

Also yes i love the weird fucked up romantic implications of snowgrave a lot lol. its HORRIBLE and im obsessed with it. kris putting a ring on noelle's finger and neither of them are happy about it. hand in unlovable hand and all that. as hellspawnmotel once put it, they get forced into this extremely strange and uncomfortable, almost heteronormative husband-and-wife (again ring imagery) kind of vision Which is so horribly unsettling considering theyre just two queer kids trying to exist (something something kris getting commonly misgendered with he/him and noelle having a very obvious crush on another girl). as a nonbinary lesbian it almost comes off as this really fucked up correctionist way of playing where noelle just becomes a romanceable option, not to kris but to the PLAYER and kris is just forced to go along with it. it SUCKS. and its SO interesting to me i cant stop thinking about it after THREE YEARS.

omfg i did not mean to write so much sirry. this is what happens when you talk to me about kriselle btw. Ty for the ask!!!

[sburbian-mechanics]

You know I've been thinking alot about your thought process of the maid of Heart. I was wondering, what kind of quest would a maid of heart most likely go through? What kind of archetype of a goal would they have to challenge and succeed on their planet? (That is to say if quests tend to have the same underlying archetype for every user with that classpect, since personality can determine how a classpect is played after all.)

(OOC: I wrote like 80% of this entire post before Tumblr ate it right before my eyes. Why are we here? Just to suffer?)

Oooh!! That's a really good question!! Gold star for you, although any sticker will do in a pinch. Put it on and be proud!!!

The thing to know about Planet Quests is that they are tricky. Just like Denizen assignments, or the Judgement Clock, no one has really figured out how they work, or how they are decided/assigned for a person. But there are patterns! And one of the most noticed ones is the effects of Classpect on Planet Quests. You were right to assume that the typical Classpect Archetype does tie into what a Planet wants you to emulate, and how it designates what kinds of quests you would get. Of course, the exact quests are never the same- a lot are locked to certain planet types or consort cultures, along with your unique personality and just the general vibes of your planet. With all these factors, you can see why Planets are often considered the most complex and mechanically impressive part of the game- besides the Carapacians of course.

But still, we can predict some things- so let's get on with it already! What are the Archetypes, and Planet Quests, of a Maid of Heart? On the Archetypes side, those can be quite varied. This is because it all has to do with how you interpret your classpect. For example; one Archetype of the Maid of Heart would be The Model. A person who grew up with people constantly fawning over them, while denying who they really are and always expecting them to be the perfect person they created in their mind. The Model would need to no longer allow this behavior to happen because even if it gives them an advantage, it is hurting them on the inside. So instead of trying to live up to these expectations, they need to become their true self and be authentic, letting go of the masks they wear. But another archetype would be The Dollmaker, in which they already know they are a powerhouse, and thus has locked themself in an echo chamber of their ideas and creations- which may or may not become individuals themselves. The challenge is then to connect with others, and realize that they can rely on them and that they can have worthwhile ideas and perspectives. One last one could be Taleteller, who makes metaphorical meaning and decides what symbolizes what. This would probably be the most mysterious of them, and their creation would most likely be done subconciously. They would lurk in the background until necessary, and have a habit of telling stories- untruths that can be more true than reality at times. Their goal would be realizing they have that power in the first place, and then to use it strategically to help their team.

Of course, you can be more than one Archetype at a time. In fact, it's very good to embrace more sides of your aspect, and no one is just a symbol. You probably already have elements of multiple, and being trapped in one Archetype is a prison of its own. I am both The Reaper and The Charmer, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Of course, Planet Quests are a little trickier. They would probably try to subtly help with your growth, such as providing challenges that kickstart a realization or a dungeon to practice your powers on. The Model could have a planet full of consorts that don't know of them at all and have no expectations. The challenge would then be not to fall into bad habits, while still proving their power and status as A Player. A Dollmaker's creations could come to life and grow from their intended path, and The Dollmaker would have to decide to let them, and maybe learn another's perspective. The Taleteller would have almost an abandoned land full of ruins, that they could "decipher" until they realize they are making the past with their interpretations, or that the symbols and feelings they attach to artifacts gives them power.

And that should about do it! Tell me if you come up with any more Archetypes- this was really fun and I'd love to see more spins on the Smith of Soul! GG out!

----------<I>----------

Love, Ego, Meaning. Masks, Soul, Platonic Ideals. Mix and Match a tad more, or come up with another three or five. Emotion, Passion, Impluse, perhaps? Expression, and Definition- that what makes you you and not another. All to Make, to Create, to Smith. With a youth in binds, it is up to you to break free without becoming your oppressor. But always remember you have that power. They can never take your drive away from you.

[mythvoiced]

-. wait, I'm back, i need to post some thoughts on poppy playtime real quick because i'm running out of places to infodump this stupid thing i noticed about mommy & miss delight in, so forgive me dash, this is to satisfy my blorbo brain, i'll be out of your hair in a minute, spoilers for chapter 3

i am so obsessed with the way mommy & miss delight vocalize knowing who you are.

first off, miss delight vocalizes recognizing you, mommy includes knowing who you are in her villain speech. LIKE, i'm violently, vibratingly, neurotically overthinking this, but i love languages, i love the fine details of the way people communicate, i am obsessed with how a single change in wording and cadence can apply such a wholly drastic different meaning to any given information, how complex lying can be once you start toying with language etc etc.

miss delight recognizes you in the second voice line she speaks over the speakers, the first one is just some parody of a classic school announcement, but in the second one she literally recognizes you in the line, she sounds casual about it, maintaining her established speech patterns/tone, expressing surprise at you having survived, then something that sounds like disappointment and discovering the reason you're there, and then she extends a warning to you to leave the place before catnap finds out you're there. i mean, sure, she's completely lost it, she talks to her mace and hears it talk back to her, so how reliable can she possibly be, but still. she's got that deal with catnap that keeps her fed, but she still declares her willingness to fuck you up in absolute glee once you show no signs of leaving. once you show no signs of leaving. like, i am obsessed with the voice lines here. in relation to the thing with mommy, though, i love what her recognizing you after doing a double-take, essentially, implies about who player character could be:

someone miss delight had some marginal exposure to, but not enough to recognize upon first glance (sure, ten years, but you were an adult then and now you wouldn't change that drastically without some plot points that would have been too important to not mention, and the nightmare tape implies you weren't there at all on That Day so you have no disfigurements, PLUS the thing with mommy i'll get to in a minute)

someone she doesn't feel vengeful or even particularly hostile towards, if anything, she seems positively inclined if she takes the time to tell you to piss off before you prove yourself to 'not be a good listener' at which point she practically announces 'weLP! gonna hunt you down, then~' (which is also interesting because she actually only comes for you after you activate the generator and after first destroying the generator, as if she was waiting to see if you were trouble, kind of like some interpret to have been the case for huggy wuggy who only came for you when you started reactivating machinery, toy making machinery, the central piece watches you lmao)

someone she does absolutely enjoy killing if given the chance, so not someone she'd been fond of, though this point is wonky because she's lost it

MOMMY, whom i adore btw, goes about mentioning that she too knows who you are in a completely different way, which in on itself could imply a wide variety of things, one among them for example that poppy told her lmao, but honestly, the way mommy talks to you in general is so? i'm probably just overthinking things but i love overthinking about this lmao so bear with me

mommy has four voice lines before she off-handedly indirectly mentions knowing who you are:

when she nabs your red hand

before musical memory

after musical memory

before wack-a-wuggy

after wack-a-wuggy

she mentions knowing you in her 'villain speech' before the start of statues.

she says 'a new playmate' at the beginning, which doesn't necessarily need to imply you're new to her, just that you're new as opposed to the toys she usually 'plays with' or that you've never played with her; she gives you instructions without feeling the need to provide details, along the lines of 'you know what musical memory is, or at the very least where it's located'; she also says 'it'll be just like old times', which could be in reference to the situation in general or something that ties you two together (don't out me for thinking player character could be stella but i'd fuck with it, ask me about it i'll be wholly incoherent but we can get a laugh out of it).

she does provide you with a detail about the wack-a-wuggy game, but you can be familiar with information and the other party might still 'reveal' it to you as a way to introduce a concept, a conversation, a topic, you name it. the line is

'The toys in this game used to have strings attached to them, so they could be pulled back when they got too close to the children. Hmm... Have fun.'

can be interpreted as 'here's information you're not familiar with that i'm giving you as sadistic warning' but if you're deranged like me also as 'this might be information you know, i'm just giving you a sadistic indirect warning that this is no longer the case', both would be evil because mommy is evil but i think she's fun

also, mommy never feels the need to explain anything to you, not really; she describes the rules of her game, but she doesn't stop to wonder if you know what the game station even is, that this used to be a place for kids to be at, mommy just straight up knows the entire time that you used to work there and weren't some rando curiously exploring the place, maybe poppy told her, maybe no rando would have made it as far into the factory to reach her, maybe she simply saw you and knew right away that you were a former employee, BUT doesn't that imply she recognized you instantly? and why doesn't she kill you right after she grabs poppy? (sure, "it's a videogame she can't do that there would be no game" we're doing this game theory style, hold them accountable for suspension of disbelief and 'il patto narrativo', design the game in a way that would make it illogical/impossible for her to kill you then and i'll buy it, but tbh she probs just wanted to fuck around with you, SHE'S FUN)

these are the pre-statues voice lines

It was always so sad to see the kids go... They called me "Mommy" because I was the closest thing they ever had to one. But they'd come for games, and never come back. They left Mommy to die alone. Mommy didn't deserve that! But you? You worked here. So if anyone deserves to die alone, it's you.

this is where Mommy officially states via implication that she recognizes you at the very least as former employee. i say 'via implication' because she doesn't actually ever stop to tell you 'i know who you are' or 'i recognize you' the way miss delight does; miss delight notices while watching you, to mommy on the other hand, this information was such a given that she did not feel the need to reveal it to you.

mommy loves to scare the shit out of you, and to play with you, she'd most likely gleefully gloat if she could use the information that she recognizes you to scare you, but she doesn't. the emphasis of that part is not on her knowing who you are, but on her declaring that your role as former employee makes you guilty and deserving of capital punishment lmao

she recognizes you, she recognizes you as an employee who had enough power to be an accomplice (which works for the nightmare tape, again, is this stella-); would mommy lump all employees into being worthy of blame for what happened? maybe, she is particularly hostile towards all employees, after all, but it is interesting nonetheless to interpret it as her recognizing that you are guilty in some aspect solely for working in the position you worked.

still, to recognize you as an employee - if you're most definitely not dressed in a uniform omg why would you-- - she'd have to... know you were one (unless she's hostile to all adults, but GOSH, always adding the antithesis as afterthought must be so exhausting to read lmao)

gosh, i'm losing my train of thought, damned neurodivergent brain, but basically: mommy states her recognizing you as an established fact that doesn't need to be re-established, not to her, and not to you. she shares it with you as a statement she doesn't assume you would find surprising to hear out of her.

sure, this is all according to my interpretation of tone of voice and whatnot compared to patterns in other auditive story telling, not to mention it's unclear how reliable deranged characters are BUT ISN'T IT INTRIGUING, ISN'T IT WORTH THE BRAINROT

i also love that it's mommy & miss delight so openly vocalizing recognizing you, two characters directly tied to stella in one way or another; i mean, that player character is most likely a high-ranking employee is pretty much a given at this point, but stella was head of playcare but also of game station. do you see my vision. it would tie in neatly with the nightmare tape and with the reversed radio tape in the nightmare sequence, 'you missed the meeting', and the guilt described, which goes beyond survivor's guilt and paints you/player character as someone who feels like an accomplice, like someone who, had they been there, could have made a difference. or who, via inaction/ignorance/passivity let the things that happened happen, which works for stella, who, as the hartmann incident tape confirms, did not know what was happening.

and... i tired myself out and have to log off again, if you read any of this, remember matpat is retiring in march

on a separate note, could this bigger bodies mommy (our mommy ♥) be ms harper

[iviarellereads]

The Great Hunt, Chapter 12 - Woven in the Pattern

(THIS PROJECT IS SPOILER FREE! No spoilers past the chapter you click on. Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Wheel of Time, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Flame icon) In which most of what I'd say is just in the text, there to be interpreted and remembered.

PERSPECTIVE: Egwene follows Nynaeve toward the Amyrlin in the direct aftermath of the arrow shot. She hears the Amyrlin tell Agelmar that she will leave presently, and if he finds anything about the assassin, he can notify her in Tar Valon. She turns her attention to Egwene and Nynaeve, evaluating them like the carpenter back home looked at his tools. Egwene curtsies, but Nynaeve stays standing straight. Shortly, the Amyrlin declares that they should all horse up, so they can get moving. Egwene keeps looking back, until Nynaeve reassures her that Rand is perfectly safe with Ingtar and twenty lances, and there's nothing they can do for him in any case... not yet, at least.

They camp late each night. The Aes Sedai get tents, separating by their Ajah. The warders sleep outside the tents of the women they're bonded to, so the Red tent looks lonely, and the Green tent looks festive, as the two Aes Sedai brought four Warders between them, and they stay up late chatting.

Moiraine hardly acknowledges Egg and Nyn, but other Aes Sedai come to give them lessons in the evenings. The first is Verin. She tells Egwene she's not been wrong, exactly, but she's been channelling and that in itself can be dangerous. Egwene protests that Moiraine... that is, Moiraine Sedai had been giving her lessons.

Verin held up her hands for quiet, and they fell silent. She might seem vague, but she was Aes Sedai, after all. “Child, do you think Aes Sedai immediately teach every girl who says she wants to be one of us how to channel? Well, I suppose you are not exactly every girl, but just the same. . . .” She shook her head gravely. “Then why did she?” Nynaeve demanded. There had been no lessons for her, and Egwene was still not sure if it rankled Nynaeve or not. “Because Egwene had already channeled,” Verin said patiently.(1) “So. . . . So have I.” Nynaeve did not sound happy about it. “Your circumstances are different, child. That you are still alive shows you weathered the various crises, and did it on your own. I think you know how lucky you are. Of every four women forced to do what you did, only one survives. Of course, wilders—” Verin grimaced. “Forgive me, but I am afraid that is what we in the White Tower often call women who, without any training, have managed some rough control—random, and barely enough to be called control, usually, like you, but still control of a sort. Wilders have difficulties, it is true. Almost always they have built up walls to keep themselves from knowing what it was they were doing, and those walls interfere with conscious control. The longer those walls have to build, the harder it is to tear them down, but if they can be demolished—well, some of the most adept sisters ever have been wilders.”

Egg asks what that has to do with her, and Verin says her predicament is quite the opposite: once she learned she could channel, she kept at it, never wondering if there was a bottomless pit at her next step forward. Once Egg started channelling, there was nothing for it but for Moiraine to teach her the control necessary. Did she never explain that? Well, she's never believed in telling anyone anything they didn't need to know. Egg asks if there is a pit waiting for her. Verin compares it to someone who has learned to run up hills without learning how to check if there's a cliff on the other side: you haven't found one yet, but you may well find one if you keep running, especially as strong as Egg could be one day. It’s nothing on what the men do, but accidents can still happen. As she says this, Egg notices that her gaze looks less vague, and Egg wonders if Verin knows about Rand. However, Egg discards the thought, as surely Verin’s the sort who would never let Rand go off on his own if she knew he could channel.(2)

Nynaeve tries to excuse herself, and Verin points out that she won't need much training before being raised to Accepted. Nynaeve still tries politely to leave, but Verin offers her some information. Typically, the younger the novice, the better she’s able to cope, to do as she’s told without question. Accepted must know enough to know when to question lessons and orders.(3) She asks which Nynaeve would prefer. Nynaeve grumbles a bit but sits next to Egg and says she might as well start learning.

Verin leads them through a meditation, focusing on a flower bud.(4) Egwene reaches a sliver of the Power, and reaches for more...

In an instant it was all gone, rose and light. Moiraine had also said it could not be forced. With a sigh, she opened her eyes. Nynaeve had a grim look on her face. Verin was as calm as ever. “You cannot make it happen,” the Aes Sedai was saying. “You must let it happen. You must surrender to the Power before you can control it.”(5) “This is complete foolishness,” Nynaeve muttered. “I don’t feel like a flower. If anything, I feel like a blackthorn bush. I think I will wait by the fire after all.” “As you wish,” Verin said. “Did I mention that novices do chores? They wash dishes, scrub floors, do laundry, serve at table, all sorts of things. I myself think the servants do a better job of it by far, but it is generally felt that such labor builds character. Oh, you are staying? Good. Well, child, remember that even a blackthorn bush has flowers sometimes, beautiful and white among the thorns. We will try it one at a time. Now, from the beginning, Egwene. Close your eyes.”

Verin continues this late into the night, eventually dismissing Egwene for one last try with Nynaeve.

“Feel the flow through you,” Verin was saying. Her voice did not change, but suddenly there was a gleam in her eyes. “Feel the flow. Flow of the Power. Flow like a breeze, a gentle stirring in the air.” Egwene sat up straight. This was how Verin had guided her each time she had actually had the Power flowing through her. “A soft breeze, the slightest movement of air. Soft.” Abruptly the stacked blankets burst into flame like fatwood. Nynaeve opened her eyes with a yell. Egwene was not sure if she screamed or not. All Egwene knew was that she was on her feet, trying to kick the burning blankets outside before they set the tent on fire. Before she managed a second kick, the flames vanished, leaving wispy smoke rising from a charred mass and the smell of burned wool. “Well,” Verin said. “Well. I did not expect to have to douse a fire. Don’t faint on me, child. It’s all right now. I took care of it.” “I—I was angry.” Nynaeve spoke through trembling lips in a bloodless face. “I heard you talking about a breeze, telling me what to do, and fire just popped into my head. I—I didn’t mean to burn anything. It was just a small fire, in—in my head.” She shuddered.

Verin apologizes for working them so late, but hopes that this shows them why control is so necessary. Not only could you hurt yourself, but if you draw more than you can handle at once, you can burn yourself out, destroy your connection to the Power entirely, or worse.(6) Then, as if she hasn't told them they're walking a knife's edge, she cheerfully wishes them a good night.

After that night, Verin pays them no more mind than Moiraine. Egwene thinks of how her mother had always told her that Aes Sedai are cold manipulators, merciless destroyers, the Breakers of the World. She knew now that the latter had just been male channelers, but how many Aes Sedai were like the tales, and which?

The Aes Sedai who came to the tent each night were so mixed that they did not help at all in clearing her thoughts. Alviarin was as cool and businesslike as a merchant come to buy wool and tabac, surprised that Nynaeve was part of the lesson but accepting, sharp in her criticisms but always ready to try again. Alanna Mosvani laughed and spent as much time talking about the world, and men, as she did teaching. Alanna showed too much interest in Rand and Perrin and Mat for Egwene’s comfort, though. Especially Rand. Worst of all was Liandrin, the only one who wore her shawl; the others had all packed them away before leaving Fal Dara. Liandrin sat fingering her red fringe and taught little, and reluctantly at that. She questioned Egwene and Nynaeve as if they had been accused of a crime, and her questions were all about the three boys. She kept it up until Nynaeve threw her out—Egwene was not sure why Nynaeve did so—and then she left with a warning.

They arrive at a river town, and load onto boats to take them back to Tar Valon. When Egwene asks Anaiya Sedai where Moiraine is, she's told that Moiraine left, Liandrin close on her heels, and then Verin. The Amyrlin is in quite a mood about it all. Anaiya also says she bundled Nynaeve onto a ship herself. They'll be traveling with the Amyrlin, so Egwene had better find a boat to transfer her to the River Queen, quickly.

Egwene is troubled by this and decides she has to tell someone, so she says to Anaiya that Rand is in trouble. Anaiya says boys that age are always in one trouble or another, but that's clearly not it.

Egwene thinks about the dream she had. A man with a mask over his face and fire in place of his eyes, who had seemed surprised to see her.(7) Then he vanished, and she saw Rand sleeping on the ground, wrapped only in a cloak, with a woman standing over him, her eyes shining like the moon,(8) and Egg knew she was evil somehow. Then they both flash away, and what Egg remembers most is a sense of danger behind it all, like a trap about to spring, but she knows the danger is for Rand, not herself. She says she had a dream, but doesn’t relay the details to Anaiya.

“I—I don’t think they’re in the Blight, or back in Fal Dara. I had a dream.” [...] She could not bring herself to tell Anaiya. Formally, she said, “Anaiya Sedai, I know it sounds foolish, but he is in danger. Great danger. I know it. I could feel it. I still can.” Anaiya wore a thoughtful look. “Well, now,” she said softly, “that’s a possibility I’ll wager no one has considered. You may be a Dreamer. It is a small chance, child, but. . . . We haven’t had one of those in—oh—four or five hundred years. And Dreaming is close linked to Foretelling. If you really can Dream, it may be that you can Foretell, as well. That would be a finger in the Reds’ eye. Of course, it could be just an ordinary nightmare, brought on by a late night, and cold food, and us traveling so hard since we left Fal Dara. And you missing your young man. Much more likely. Yes, yes, child, I know. You are worried about him. Did your dream indicate what kind of danger?” Egwene shook her head. “He just vanished, and I felt danger. And evil. I felt it even before he vanished.” She shivered and rubbed her hands together. “I can still feel it.”

Anaiya says they'll talk more on the River Queen, and if she is a Dreamer, then Anaiya will see to it that Egg gets the training she needs.

Egwene peered into the dark, toward the south. He was out there, somewhere. Not in Fal Dara, not in the Blight. She was sure of it. Hold on, you wool-headed idiot. If you get yourself killed before I can get you out of this, I will skin you alive. It did not occur to her to ask how she was going to get him out of anything, going to Tar Valon as she was. Snugging her cloak around her, she set out to find a boat to the River Queen.

=====

(1) Did we see Egwene channel, back in the Emond's Field sequence? Moiraine only said she could sense that Egwene was close to the first time she would channel. The phrasing was tricky, it's the end of EOTW 12 if you want to check for yourself. (2) Third! Person! Limited! Each POV is absolutely limited by the knowledge, experience, and assumptions of the character in focus. A great reminder that everyone is working on limited, faulty information in these books, and never to take any observation or assumption for granted. (3) Real healthy relationship to authority, has the White Tower. This is where we start to see the more mundane aspects of RJ's military experience: novices go through boot camp and do better if they can learn to be obedient soldiers. Though, the Aes Sedai are forbidden from making weapons of the Power against any but the Shadow, but there are all sorts of roles that make up a military force. (4) It's a good thing I don't live in this world and have to learn how to channel, 'cause neither the flame and void nor the flower bud would work for me. I seem to have total aphantasia. I say seem to because, well, when your experience is the absence of something others take for granted, it becomes REALLY difficult to judge if you're lacking that sense or if others are exaggerating. Anyway, I am not unaware of the irony that I love this series so much when so goddamn many words in it are descriptive and meaningless to my brain. But, it DOES make it faster to read when you learn to skim the descriptions and get back to the important bits. And, if I had to see, really see and feel and smell a rose bud to develop this sense of the Power, I'd be absolutely lost. (5) Yep, women must submit to the Power to be able to use and control it. RJ might have tried to make a world where original sin belonged to men, but he certainly Made Some Choices along the way. As for Nynaeve… well she's a bit of an exception, but you could say she's surrendering to her anger when it bursts out of her. Do you recall in the Ravens prologue for book 1, when the previous Wisdom undid Nynaeve's bandage and shook her head, disappointed in Nynaeve? She was testing Nynaeve's ability to Heal, because this was after she healed Egg of the breakbone fever (EOTW 21). But, Nynaeve seems to have built a wilder's block with her anger. It started when Egg was sick and Nyn felt lied to and angry she couldn't do anything more to help, and here with Verin it's clear that she couldn't do anything until she was frustrated by her inability to do anything. (6) We can guess this probably happens more often than stilling, given that novices learn the names of every woman stilled in the Tower since the Breaking, but this is news and Verin, she of the many tangents, doesn't offer numbers. (7) Huh. Could Egg have actually met The Big Guy in a dream? We know he was able to draw the lads into dreams, but she says he was genuinely surprised to see Egg in hers, and she has no other way to know what he looks like for the reader to recognize. What could that mean? Is Anaiya right, and Egg is a Dreamer, capital D and all? (8) What an oddly specific description. Eyes like the moon, huh? Egg thinks she could have been Moiraine, or Liandrin, or Alanna… but none of those feel right, either. The night and the moon are inseparably linked despite the fact the moon cycles through the day and back again the other side. Who's to say. Wasn't there someone feminine associated with the night recently? (Hint: chapter 7. Told you you'd want a bookmark.)

[gimmesomeguac]

Am I really posting this right before our boy flirts shamelessly in an upcoming tv appearance? So smart. /s

So a while ago I made a post about how calling our favorite sad trashcan lawyer a "manwhore" was funny, but also an oversimplification. I finally came up with more words to explain.

In a conversation with a fellow fan, they suggested the term "serial monogamist" and I liked it a lot. I wouldn't call the Matt on tv a "playboy" because that is so strongly associated with being sexist and using people for sex rather than having genuine interest in them. I don't know about comics Matt, (Heaven knows he was as misogynistic as every other guy in comics in the oldest stories- yuck. Then there are also characterization changes between writers to various degrees, so I'd have to read way more to call it.) but tv Matt is constantly humanizing and looking for the good in others. He is idealistic, and a romantic at heart. My interpretation is that he cares so much that he invests emotionally in other people- regardless of relationship type. We see this investment in how he views a city filled with strangers as his family. While I'm sure some dates are truly one-and-done like for anyone, when he feels the spark of potential, he is prone to investing a silent, secret hope in that person. "Maybe this time. Maybe we're going to be something."

"Manwhore" suggests a desire for constant sexual attention, and Matt clearly enjoys a good flirt, but he goes months if not years without actually having sex, choosing to be Daredevil above all. What he's desperate for is love and emotional connection, not simply sex.

Some of you might be going, "No duh." But I've seen some lovingly-insulting or straight up joke (inaccurate) labels from fans turn into fanon actual-interpretation standard, so I thought I'd write about this because Matt's complexity is one of the most beloved qualities of the character and show.

Could he be afraid of happiness and mess up a relationship that had real potential? Could he seek out relationships doomed to fail in order to self-destruct or to fulfill the same old pattern? Could he use intimacy itself to self-destruct? Could he be the victim of an actual player because they notice his yearning for a connection? I'm considering several plot bunnies here.

Of course this leads to a cycle of disappointment. He tells himself to keep it cool next time, only to repeat the routine of getting his hopes up. Matt doesn't exactly do casual well. He's intense in his hopes just like he is passionate in other areas of life. I wouldn't say he truly falls in love every time, but he gets his hopes up for love. Maybe it's illogical, naive for sure, maybe it makes him vulnerable to being manipulated, but it makes sense for a sometimes lonely romantic to grow into this habit.

I'm not sure a guy raised by nuns would immediately know to brush the traditional meaning of the word aside, so he might be insulted if he were called it to his face at first. (And I have a character exploration/MattFoggy plot bunny growing from this post- stay tuned.)

Head canon and write whatever you want or need for your fics, etc. though! This is not to single out or hate on anyone or any post, fic, etc. I love you people like Matt would.

[redhatmeg]

Jacob Marley, Lazarus and Rich Man

I can finally explain what I've meant in this post.

There is a story in the Bible about Lazarus... but not the one that got resurrected. See, in Lukas chapter 16, Jesus tells a parable titled The Rich Man and Lazarus, in which Lazarus was a beggar that was sleeping at the gate of certain Rich Man. When they both died, the beggar was in Heaven, with Abraham, while on the other side the Rich Man was suffering in Hell. So the Rich Man said to Abraham:

‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

25 “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’

27 “He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, 28 for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

29 “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

30 “‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

31 “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

Now, there are many ways this story is interpreted by various Christian scholars, in regards to history, doctrine etc... But we’re not here for the theology, so let’s focus on the one interpretation that is the most promiment: that the Rich Man is in Hell, presumably because he was ignoring Lazarus’ suffering in life. Now, knowing that his own lack of caring brought him here, he wants to warn his brothers so they won’t be in agony. He wants to send the dead Lazarus as a morbid warning, but Abraham says that if they won’t hear from what Moses and Prophets say, then the dead won’t convince them either.

Now, how it works for Jacob Marley?

The main purpose of Marley’s Ghost is to warn Scrooge of his future in afterlife. His penance for not caring about others is to forever travel around the world with his chains. And this specific Christmas Eve he comes to Scrooge so he might change his ways.

"I am here to-night to warn you that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate. A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer."

Notice, however, that at first Scrooge doesn’t believe that what he sees is a real ghost. He thinks this is the result of indigestion and he needs a further convincing, and the old man finally realize that he’s not dreaming and Marley’s Ghost is really here.

But it doesn’t mean, it’s getting better.

"You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell me why?"

"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free-will, and of my own free-will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?"

Scrooge trembled more and more.

"Or would you know," pursued the Ghost, "the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas-eves ago. You have laboured on it since. It is a ponderous chain!"

Scrooge glanced about him on the floor, in the expectation of finding himself surrounded by some fifty or sixty fathoms of iron cable, but he could see nothing.

"Jacob!" he said imploringly. "Old Jacob Marley, tell me more! Speak comfort to me, Jacob!"

"I have none to give," the Ghost replied. "It comes from other regions, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is conveyed by other ministers, to other kinds of men. Nor can I tell you what I would. A very little more is all permitted to me. I cannot rest, I cannot stay, I cannot linger anywhere. My spirit never walked beyond our counting-house—mark me;—in life my spirit never roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole; and weary journeys lie before me!"

It was a habit with Scrooge, whenever he became thoughtful, to put his hands in his breeches pockets. Pondering on what the Ghost had said, he did so now, but without lifting up his eyes, or getting off his knees.

"You must have been very slow about it, Jacob," Scrooge observed in a business-like manner, though with humility and deference.

"Slow!" the Ghost repeated.

"Seven years dead," mused Scrooge. "And travelling all the time?"

"The whole time," said the Ghost. "No rest, no peace. Incessant torture of remorse."

"You travel fast?" said Scrooge.

"On the wings of the wind," replied the Ghost.

"You might have got over a great quantity of ground in seven years," said Scrooge.

The Ghost, on hearing this, set up another cry, and clanked its chain so hideously in the dead silence of the night, that the Ward would have been justified in indicting it for a nuisance.

"Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed," cried the phantom, "not to know that ages of incessant labour, by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed! Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness! Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunities misused! Yet such was I! Oh, such was I!"

"But you were always a good man of business, Jacob," faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

Marley talks about his penance. He talks about his suffering, about what he has to endure in afterlife... but what he says isn’t understandable to Scrooge. Marley talks about “weary journeys” that lie before him and Scrooge says:  "You must have been very slow about it, Jacob". Marley talks about “life’s opportunities misused” and Scrooge says: “ But you were always a good man of business, Jacob“.

Scrooge doesn’t understand yet what Marley’s Ghost is telling him! Even when a dead man comes to warn him, he doesn’t understand that his uncaring atittude is what will cause him to share the same fate. He understands the torment, because he asks Marley to say something comforting about his future.

"Jacob!" he said imploringly. "Old Jacob Marley, tell me more! Speak comfort to me, Jacob!"

And when Marley tells him about the Three Spirits, Scrooge resists.

"You were always a good friend to me," said Scrooge. "Thankee!"

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by Three Spirits."

Scrooge's countenance fell almost as low as the Ghost's had done.

"Is that the chance and hope you mentioned, Jacob?" he demanded in a faltering voice.

"It is."

"I—I think I'd rather not," said Scrooge.

"Without their visits," said the Ghost, "you cannot hope to shun the path I tread. Expect the first to-morrow when the bell tolls One."

"Couldn't I take 'em all at once, and have it over, Jacob?" hinted Scrooge.

For him the Ghosts are inconvinience, not a salvation. He displays rather materialistic viewpoint - both in old and modern sense of this word. Just like seven brothers of the Rich Man, he didn’t listen to warnings from Prophets, and he won’t listen to warning from the dead.

[kyoobot]

Spamton Character Analysis/Discussion

Gonna post my thoughts on spamton and his character since I saw talk about it! I love this guy so ill present everything I know and what I think is going on with him

I enjoy writing a lot, but I am an amatuer so please forgive my structure haha. 

I wrote this addressing all sorts of thoughts and questions. If anyone has anything to say please do! 

Spamtons introduction I think his introduction is a pretty good starting point for him He pops out of his dumpster and gives his introduction AND then notices kris and addresses them Spamton gives me the animatronic giving its dance number to an empty auditorium vibe He gave his little intro before being aware anyone was watching him He has a certain way of acting and it seems there's some things he can't help Like his introduction and his quirks

Spamton absolutely is aware hes scamming people, but I think he feels that there's no other option. Other characters have mentioned him asking for their help to get into the mansion, and the addisons pretend he doesn't exist. He comes across as a sort of person no one is willing to help, so he has to resort to lying to get what he wants. Which for his current goals, i don't blame anyone for not. I say he knows bc in pacifist Neo he apologizes for the scams and promises to do better. Personally I think this is exactly where people get his softer interpretations. Spamton seems to know his scams are wrong and wants to do better and actually be a friend, but the universe or whatever is tormenting him just won't let him have it. 

Is Spamton being Controlled? I would say, yes. To what degree? I'm not sure! I do not know where he got the idea to put himself into Neo. Did the voice tell him? Did he figure it out? Did he not put himself in before because he wasn't that desperate yet? Whatever the case, I believe the pursuit of Neo was his own sort of. I think whoever gave him forbidden knowledge/is controlling him knew what would happen but he convinced himself it was the solution to everything. I think, that whatever is controlling spamton is more in his thoughts and what he can say. The very telling shop dialouge where he seems to "break character" and beg someone for forgiveness strongly hints that hes not just talking about freedom in an existential way, but more of an actual way (edited) Spamton is desperate. He says so to us. His dialog and flavor texts also hint at this. He says very clearly "[help]", NOTHINGS WRONG NOTHINGS  WRONG NOTHINGS WRONG., the it burns dialouge, the soft cry for help in the shop Lots of things in his dialouge plainly show someone who needs and wants help but. Its Spamton. He doesn't know what will help him and he believes he has to scam to get any help. All he has is Neo as his one last hope.  I personally don't think he's bad for "scamming" us either. We go along with it willingly. Kris maybe doesn't, but we do.  I see Spamton as a very flowey/chara like character. He needs help, but he doesn't know what he needs. He thinks Neo will solve all his problems (like flowey with the human souls and wanting to "play" forever). Thing is, spamton never needed any soul to realize what he was doing was wrong. He knew, he just didn't think there was any other way.  Spamton is sentimental and deep down just wants friendship imo. He talks about being a big shot being his end goal, but at the end of pacifist, all he's happy about is being free and living for himself and his friends. In snowgrave he talks about muttering his "lost friends" names at the bottom of a dumpster. He very clearly misses his friends. But he has been abandoned. His friends even clearly stated it was them that left first. I don’t know why they did not reconnect with him afterwards. There is lots we do not see with spamton. He could have estranged them even further, or perhaps he avoided them on purpose because he was ashamed. He misses them and wishes to see them still though. This again is where I think people get his softer interpretations. He is a scammer, but honestly. Hes the embodiment of spam email. He can't help being who he is. He's like Edward scissorhands. He cuts everyone he loves because of who he is, regardless of how he feels. 

He’s a very difficult character to parse! Characters that are embodiments of actual concepts also having their own personalities is difficult. It’s like the whole nature and nurture thing, how much of their actions is purely them and how much is it because of who they are? (Not forgiving any actions here lol, i just find it very sad and interesting how spamton is literally something people hate in the real world and how what he is influences his “life”)

Alright next thought: Spamton hates himself Now this is a weird one huh? The guy that plasters his face on everything and sends mini versions of himself to fight hates himself? Not as unlikely as one would think! Snowgrave is very telling on this one. His whole speech is basically to himself. Talking about his abandonment and how he is pathetic and how he makes himself sick. He calls himself (and the player) a worm. Everything he says to kris in that speech is projection at himself. Even in pacifist Neo fight we see some of his self hate. He is absolutely elated at the idea of not being a "long nosed doll" anymore. Spamton very much doesn't like himself or his body. He stinks because he lives in a dumpster and he hates it so much he punches it likely leaving a dent. Personally I think everything has his face on things bc the only thing he has left is himself. It's the only thing he can "sell". And like mettaton he probably used to sell things with his face on them  all the time. Its like his introduction, its just part of who he is. He probably just rolls with it bc he probably tries to see himself as a temporarily embarrassed big shot. His face will be worth millions again!! Just you wait!!! (....) 

Snowgrave Spamton Since we mentioned snowgrave, im gonna say yeah, I dont think spamton is evil. If flowey ultimately isn't evil, then he isn't either. Just like flowey, our actions influence him. In pacifist, spamton desperately jumps at the chance of us helping him get to Neo. We can totally just ignore him and complete the story without him with no punishment for that. In snowgrave however, when he sees us murdering everyone he has to change up his tactics. Of course he knows that if he fought us he would be frozen. So he's gonna help us. He's an opportunist 100%. Hes not the main villian at all in snowgrave. We are lol. We murder everyone. He helps, but its us who goes the whole way. He is still wrong for giving us the ring though and he even comments on that. I do think its strange that both he and the pink addison conveniently had rings that helped Noelle get stronger specifically. They almost feel intentionally placed, like someone gave them those items for snowgrave. Perhaps we will see more on that in future chapters.  I do think its very funny that spamton counts taking over the mansion as becoming a big shot. He also seems fine with the wires in snowgrave. I do wonder if snowgrave Spamton is more "controlled" to be honest, but thats much more in conjecture than fact lol. To have more information on that we would have to just see in later chapters and see if a pattern emerges.

Anyways, I do think spamton is the ultimate opportunist. He will do what he can to get a leg up. He doesn't care how he does it. In snowgrave you prove to him that the way he's going about things is right. In Pacifist spamton comes to the conclusion that he was wrong because of your actions. He falls, but he is able to be lucid enough to not be self serving and gives himself up as an item to you. For someone as self serving as spamton to sacrifice himself is a big character moment imo. As gut wrenching as it is. I can see why people want to help him at that point. Post Neo spamton is the spamton that would most be receptive to help and friendship. I think lots of people struggle with pre neo spamton because it's hard to showcase his self serving nature. He's very selfish! He hates himself, but he wants to love himself again. Everything is about him in his world. Hes extremely funny in that way :y He is also aware that he has to sell himself. He knows that he has to be interesting so people will let him scam them. So thats just doubling back to why its always about him haha. Hes 100% a mettaton analog. Its all about him darling! (But secretly, all he really wants is his friends and life back) ((with sick neo wings lol))  Who is Mike? I have seen the Mike is the Voice/Gaster theory and you could interpret it as that yeah! You could totally say that. Personally, I think Mike was Spamtons camera guy for his commercials. Either that or a TV tycoon. Id say Mike will probably be like burgerpants/alphys to spamton Like, a mix of them together I imagine spamton would boss Mike around a lot like, GET THIS SHOT, or NO YOURE DOING IT WRONG But he genuinely considered Mike as a friend, until he was abandoned or stabbed in the back by him (edited) Acid theory Again, this is a maybe! Queens acid DOES shrink and spamton does have dialog you could connect it to (help! It burns! Please!)

You could argue this is a mis interpretation as in the Japanese dialog that line is more about staring into a bright light (the sun probably), if im remembering correctly. The implications of this with the English lines though make me wonder if spamton willingly became this way or if his mind was broken because of what he saw. Considering the dialouge involving that is begging for it to stop.

Spamton and religion Spamton discusses heaven, having communion with the divine and angels a lot. A personal note, but i find this to be one of my favorite parts of him. It’s very interesting Very strange that an inanimate object is aware of the divine, yeah? Spamton is very hung up on the idea of angels. His magic resembles them and his neo form resembles an angel as well. Spamton also prays and talks about having a communion with the divine. He seems to think that the Neo will save him and it has a connection to the divine (the light world?) (Personally I think heaven is our world, and he thought Neo would get him higher than the game, like how flowey thinks the human souls will help him) Thats why I think he just rolls with whatever the player does. I think he's aware kris is being controlled. He sees whatever they do as sort of divine. If he believes kris is being piloted by the angel. He does mention angel a lot in snowgrave, he could be referring to Noelle, or he could be talking to us. Or maybe he thinks all of it is kris. Spamton might just be projecting onto kris and just happens to be right on the money in his assumption that kris is also a puppet. 

Personally, I think spamton is the strongest darkner we've met so far! If you encounter neo, the computer closest to the spam email junk bin (spamton is the whole bin), will blue screen. It does not do that if you dont encounter Neo. Spamton really was strong enough to influence the reality above his own and cause a physical change. What that means in the future, im unsure! We will have to see the other bosses in later chapters

Spamtons appearance In the poster he looks much different He looks more like an addison there, and in the fangamer merch we see that he didn't look like a puppet at all during his big shot era. 

(You could argue the fangamer merch isnt canon, but they did base it off the poster from the wall, which doesn’t look like puppet spamton at all, so I am going to say, it is probably close enough to canon to count)

There are so many questions revolving this How did that happen? Who did that to him? Was it self inflicted? Why a puppet? Some people have brought up the acid theory but instead of shrinking spamton dies and possesses a doll/mannequin. For me, that would explain why mad dummy is a part of Neos theme along with mettatons. I do find it deeply interesting how an electronic being can be a ghost however. Its very...."living" to be able to have a ghost. That implies having a soul. The idea makes me sad though lol. Makes the addison procession after the Neo fight much more like a funeral than it already is.

Pre big shot and big shot Personally I think spamton before everything was just like. A regular dude. He had friends, he did his best, he had big dreams. He just, like his friends said, was very unlucky. He never sold anything and once he got his big break it all crashed down on him leading him to become a broken and homeless man living in a dumpster. Big shot spamton I think he was very much like Mettaton in this era. Everything was about him, everything he sold had his face on it. He was probably very full of himself, but like mettaton, he probably missed his friends a lot. But with him, no one checked up on him or called until it was too late. I really dont like the addisons lol. In undertale, Mettaton has napstablook who calls him to let him know how they feel. With spamton, none of them tried to connect with him, and even afterwards they pretended he didn't exist. Despite how they treated him, he STILL thought of them and wished to see them!!! I honestly think the addisons, any of them, if they had been in the same position as him would have come out even worse. Spamton still thought about his friends, and they only showed up when he was dead. (Hes not dead in the dealmakers, but) Its very brutal abandonment and I can understand spamtons bitterness when he insists he and kris need no one. I will be fair and say, there is probably history we are missing, but from just their own admissions, the addisons aren’t very good friends imo. 

Overall I think spamton is very selfish and opportunistic but he is also strangely sentimental and caring. He is a very beautifully multi faceted character who not only makes black and gray decisions all the time, he makes white ones too. I think everyone that interprets him as a sleazeball is correct and everyone that interprets him as a sad lonely guy who needs a friend is also correct. Both of them are spamton.

Spamton and Mettaton A discussion on his character and his relations to mettaton Spamton i absolutely believe is a mettaton analog He wants to be in a new body, he was an entertainer, he has friends who he is now estranged from all like mettaton Id say spamton even personality wise is very close to mettaton Id say both of them are morally grey, absolutely so before they meet the human (pacifist) You might be wondering why im saying mettaton is gray as well, well there's a good reason In one of the neutral endings, mettaton becomes ruler and he straight up has dissenters to his rule killed or jailed And he is quite verbally abusive to burgerpants Hes not a perfect angel at all, but that makes him fun I bring up mettatons wrongs in the neutral route bc I believe ultimately its our decisions that change how both characters look at life.

We are a force of the universe, we literally shape the rules. We either show that kindness and patience can win out, or that in this world its kill or be killed. Both characters understand and operate by the latter to a degree. With mettaton he is completely fine with dangerous things on his show (even tho its all just for show) and being a despot dictator when he finds himself in that position.He’s only the friendly robot host in pacifist/less murdery neutral routes.

Spamton seems to believe that he can only get what he wants by scamming. He thinks that nothing is given for free or done out of the kindness of one's heart. After all, we are helping him because he promised us the sought after [hyperlink blocked]. He understands hes scamming, but to him, its just the way the world works. When we go snowgrave we show to spamton that he was right to think that he can only rely on himself and he should only be trying to uplift himself. He sides with us simply because he can see money to be made! He sees us as a way to get to his goal, so there is absolutely no character growth for him in snowgrave. I could argue he slides even further down, bc in his final speech its mostly just a hate filled breakdown directed at himself.

In pacifist, we show spamton that its not all about scamming others. Even though he fell hard from the last string being cut, he seems to still believe what he said. He knows he can't be free, but he's going to do the self less thing and help someone else despite his wish to be free. Thats very big character growth for him. I would say pre neo and post neo spamton are almost entirely different characters to us. Same as how enemy and friend undyne are different. Pre Neo, spamton is very manic, always focused on himself. Hes always saying nows your chance, but he obviously means nows MY chance. All of his deals benefit him. He very clearly wants help, but he has no idea how to get it without manipulating others. He just doesn't see anyone engaging with him unless he has something for them to "win".

Post Neo spamton i would say realized that he doesn't have to scam people. Before he fell he was going to turn over a whole new leaf. And I think he genuinely meant it, because after he crashed down and it turns out he wasn't free after all, he still offered himself to help save someone else. Despite wanting to pursue his freedom, the lesson that not everything has to be a deal stuck with him. So him giving himself up, no deals attached, was his big character growth moment. Hes also still a silly guy, as shown when the pocket is full. I very deeply hope he comes out of the pocket someday. I imagine he would still be very silly, but also a bit more reserved. He would probably make very little or just more honest deals. They may still be just him selling garbage, but he wouldn't be making them to manipulate others into making him god.

[cheritzssebba]

I'm replaying Nameless again and I actually found a kind of pattern with the bad endings: the dolls' absence. Idk how to explain it properly but idek what it properly means but I'll try my best-

Basically, the pattern of how present the dolls are in their bad endings or more like them being separated from Eri in some way: in Lance's 2nd bad ending, Eri gets run over by traffic and Lance isn't seen until the very end; in Yeonho's 3rd bad ending he just disappears; Yuri actually has 3 bad endings where he isn't present, 1 where he leaves for a new career, 2 where Eri leaves him for Tei.

However, that pattern changes with Tei and Red. Tei is present in every single one of his bad endings, whereas Red is present for really none of them: bad ending 1 has Red disowning himself from Eri for the abandoned toys room; bad ending 2 has Tei stealing Eri; bad end 3 has Red stuck in the tv; bad end 4 shows Eri stuck on the merry-go-round; and finally bad end 5 has Eri in hospital.

I've only just noticed this pattern now but I think it's quite interesting. I'm not sure what it says about Lance, Yeonho and Yuri tbh, but for Tei and Red it kind of implies that Tei's presence is what causes problems, whereas Red's absence causes problems the same, almost implying the opposite would happen if Tei were absent and Red were present.

I don't really know how to interpret bad endings tbh, cuz they could simply be just alternate events caused by making the wrong decisions but Yeonho's 1st bad ending has always irked me cuz of how strange it is. Not to mention just how up to interpretation Red's 3rd bad end is.

I also take Red's absence to further demonstrate that nothing he does would ever hurt the Heroine: the closest he's gotten to hurting her would be pressuring her to join the drama club at the start of the route. Every other doll has hurt her in some way, especially in bad endings: Lance kind of attacked her in his 1st bad ending (and ngl kinda borderline sexually assaulted her); Yeonho tried to kill her in the 2nd bad end; Yuri commits crimes on a daily basis and we're not even mentioning his 2nd bad end; and finally, everything Tei does goes without saying.

Not even in his bad endings does Red hurt Eri. When he's frustrated about not being able to save her, he internalises those feelings and disowns and abandons himself, in a way which I am almost sure is a metaphor for suicide and depression. When he fails to get his special powers even after saving her, he uhhh gets consumed by the tv? When Eri doesn't show up to their date at Banjul and he finds the love letter to Tei in her bag, he doesn't even shout at her (let alone try to strangle or drug her) but instead he rightfully concludes that no one wants him around and just decides to give everyone what he thinks they want.

This became a rant about how much I love Red but it was meant to be a post trying to analyse patterns in bad endings

[grenade-maid]

Just finished Lain. Watched the last episode twice, which gently removed my heart from my chest and pulped it into a fine paste in a mortar and pestle. This hit much closer to home than I expected.

In my Lain epistemology post I somewhat flippantly made an aside that the series was only tangentially about Lain the actual character. By which I meant that my read on the series up until that point (around episode 8 or 9) was that each episode was teasing apart different aspects of the ambiguity of truth, knowledge, information, and communication, with the events of Lain's life being almost just a sort of example case study for how these concepts can impact someone on an individual level. Lain was framed in a kind of zoomed out way as an abstract avatar moving through these events without a whole lot of expression of her personal thoughts and feelings.

And then we get to the last three episodes.

It's in this space that Lain the 8th grade age girl with thoughts and feelings and wants and needs and fears comes into painfully sharp focus. The beginning of the final episode sums up and contextualizes what all of this has always been about.

Who am I? What is the real me? How can I tell what's real about me if everyone interprets it differently?

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

The flippant bravado that I expressed in that post is the same attitude that Lain has been applying to her own very sense of self throughout the series, as just another arbitrary and moldable piece of information subject to interpretation with no inherent truth.

She effectively commits suicide by removing herself from sight, mind, and memory, of everyone around her. After all, if they have no knowledge of her, then she no longer exists. But what is lurking in the subtext of this finale is that she fails to consider that everyone she is cutting off is equally subject to this process. She imagines that without her meddling they are able to be happy. But that's all it is, imagination.

She doesn't exist to them anymore because she erased their knowledge of her, but it goes both ways. In doing this, they cease to exist to her, too. The image of the happy lives of the people she knew don't come from real observation or fact. It is something that she is imposing upon her memory or imagination of those people, which is only possible because she's removed herself from the possibility of being reminded just how complex and occasionally painful their lives will be with her or without her. In those scenes nobody misses her except in these brief fleeting moments where they remember some fond association with her, before moving on to their happy lives.

But this isn't reality. She isn't seeing these people. This is how she comforts herself, by imagining that everything is for the best without her, and nobody has to feel the pain of missing her. But that's not something she can know or control. The pain they feel upon losing her doesn't exist only because she has removed herself from where she might see it and have to acknowledge it.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

This phrase is taken to its literal extreme in the finale. But I think it's important to take a step back and really think about what this means on a more human level, especially when it comes to the kinds of struggles that everyone, especially kids that age, are dealing with.

That is to say, even if you literally physically exist and go about the world talking to people going to school eating dinner and so on, if there are parts of you that people don't know about, if there are things inside you that you can't express, you quickly come to the painful realization that to other people, that stuff just doesn't exist. Which means that whole side of you doesn't exist, according to the outside world. And if that side of you encompasses something important about your identity or your experiences, it's hard to not come to the conclusion that the real you, the entirety of your being, doesn't exist to them either. And when you try to tell them about it, or when they notice on their own, but they don't understand or perhaps outright reject it, hasn't some fundamental part of your humanity been erased? In this kind of environment it's easy to start doubting that any of it exists at all. After all, if nobody else will recognize it, you've only got your own word to go on. And that isn't always enough to trust.

And again, keep in mind that this goes both ways. I think Lain's sister is the clearest example which is given by the series. One episode she begins as a character, someone who has thoughts and a personality and so on. By the end of the episode she is reduced to the state that she will stay in for the rest of the series, blank-eyed and senseless. That fully fledged self she had still exists though. Lain just stops being able to see it, so effectively her sister stops existing for her.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

When you are isolated you can say anything about yourself. You can say you're nobody, or you're God, or perhaps something even wiser and greater than God. It can feel powerful to start writing your own existence and rationalizing your own isolation, the perceptions of others be damned. You can say well, my parents don't understand me and I stopped being able to connect to my sister, but who cares! Family is just arbitrary biology anyway! What if they aren't even my family at all, and are just plants put in place by a secret organization. I'm not lonely, I'm just seeking a greater truth, a conspiracy that only I can see! I don't make social mistakes, I'm not afraid of hurting anyone, that's the fake me running around out there! But it's not sustainable. Eventually life comes crashing down, whether it be in the form of interference in the material world, or if that mental state with all of its attendant self-spun narratives just finally collapses.

As with most things in this series, Lain's interactions with "God" are written in a very abstract symbolic way. But, the pattern that it follows seems very familiar to me as one of a predatory adult grooming a vulnerable minor. He alternates between gassing Lane up as the most powerful and important being who has ever lived, and then in the next breath saying that she's nothing. In peddling his conspiracy theory narrative of humankind merging with The Wired, of Lain simply being a powerful piece of software meant for Grand Purpose, he feeds into her struggle for identity and the need to be seen and understood by at once validating these feelings and how confusing they are, while reinforcing her isolation and his own dominant grip over defining the shape of the world and society.

When Arisu finds Lain living in filth and comforts her, that is one of the rare moments that the raw, vulnerable, material world Lain, weighed down with no pretenses, pokes her head out. That moment of genuine intimacy that she has been so hungry for this whole time is enough to allow her to retaliate against "God" when he shows up in anger upon being doubted. When Arisu reacts poorly to this sight, though, is when Lain makes her final dive back into her own walled off reality. For as much as she wants to be seen and held and comforted by this girl she loves, it is far more painful for her to have to witness and live with the feeling of rejection and guilt that came from Arisu's fear in the aftermath.

The final image of her father finally expressing the real tenderness she has longed for. The imagined future of Arisu dating her former teacher well into adulthood, because it's the only model of a relationship Lain has ever seen someone want, because her parents certainly don't seem happy, and she herself didn't get anything out of the boy who kissed her. The final statement, "I will always be with you". As with everything in the series, these can be interpreted many ways. But to me it reads unmistakably as the final moments before suicide.

In any case though, after all that, it seems fairly starkly clear why Lain resonates so strongly with trans people. Contrary to the old saying that all happy people are happy the same way, but all miserable people suffer uniquely, this path to despondence is depressingly common. It is the way out that is unique to everyone who finds themselves there. I hate to say it, although I feel very lucky to say that I have survived being in that place many times--which I think is proof that it is possible to get to the other side and make a good life, despite everything-- I think if it had ended any more neatly or more positively, it just wouldn't feel as honest. It captures the depth of that state of being. That's just what it's like. And as heavy as it is to sit with, I get a lot from being able to see something painfully familiar to me reflected in such a raw way. After all that, a happy ending would just feel disingenuous. I mean, that's my life, and any happy ending they could have written just isn't how it went.

[wordsandrobots]

IBO reference notes on . . . three key Yamagi scenes

Spoilers for everything.

I'm back to a big Tekkadan-focused fic starting Friday, so I thought a fun exercise might be jotting some thoughts on the key scenes (as I see them) for the four main characters. More interpretation than analysis – this is how I see them when I write them. Starting with my favourite mechanic . . .

Funerals are expensive

Yamagi's crush on Shino forms the bulk of his characterisation and it's certainly adorable watching him be so obviously in love with a big dope who just will not get the hint. However, the scene after the post-Brewers funeral really cements their dynamic for me because, when presented with a perfect opportunity to make himself obvious, Yamagi responds to Shino with chilly deflection. Clearly he's bottling out of saying something along the lines of 'please stop talking about dying, it would break my heart if you did.' But whether Shino could see that or not (he's more perceptive about people's emotions than you'd think, so he well might have), Yamagi's response is such a clear indicator he's not ready to discuss his feelings it basically stops the relationship in its tracks. We see later that Shino double-checks Yamagi's interest even when he's had Eugene call him an idiot for being unsure. He doesn't assume or push where he isn't certain he's wanted. If this is a pattern – and Yamagi's responses to being scooped into Flauros' cockpit suggests it is – then clearly Yamagi was doing himself no favours in the game of 'quietly hoping the guy I'm besotted with notices how I feel.'

Bossy boots

Now, I'm firmly in the camp of 'no, Yamagi is not a generically sweet twink' and here's why: when we see him in charge of the mechanics corps at the start of season 2, he's in his element. I'm thinking specifically of the first scene in the power hall, where he confidently orders Dane about and sasses Hush but it's a trend throughout. From dumping his unwanted chicken on someone else's plate to directing operations during battle, Yamagi is as assertive and outspoken as anyone else in the main cast. Heck, we see very early on that he's happy to poke fun at Yukinojo and speak up around the likes of Orga and Eugene. With Shino, he's out of his depth, not knowing how to act on what he feels. But when he's doing his actual job? He's comfortable, assured, and occasionally even a bit mean about it. Am I taking that to imply he has mild control freak tendencies that express themselves as being toppy as heck in a relationship? You betcha. Even without that, though, Yamagi is never a wilting flower.

You're whining?

Speaking of not being remotely shy, the scene where Yamagi confronts Orga after the battle with the Arianrhod Fleet? Yeah, please eject any accusations of sweetness through the nearest airlock. Yamagi is flat out cruel to Orga, snapping at him with barely contained fury and the best death-glare anyone short of Mikazuki ever gives in this show. Just as nominally 'kind' and 'cute' characters like Takaki and Ride get to display a shared desire for vengeance in season 1, Yamagi gets to express rage and disappointment at Orga's conduct. This kid is hurting and he is utterly incensed to see his friends' sacrifice being disrespected, even for a second. He might apologise for it afterwards, but there's no denying his bite in the moment. Quiet though he certainly is, Yamagi remains a child solider who survived an extremely cruel environment and believes as much as anyone else in the things that bind Tekkadan together. It's important not to forget that.

Next: Shino.

Other reference posts include:

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 1)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 2)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (corrigendum) [mainly covering my inability to recognise mythical wolves]

IBO reference notes on … three key Shino scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Eugene scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Ride scenes

IBO reference notes on … the tone of the setting

IBO reference notes on … character parallels and counterpoints

IBO reference notes on … a perfect villain

IBO reference notes on … Iron-Blooded Orphans: Gekko

IBO reference notes on … an act of unspeakable cruelty

IBO reference notes on … original(ish) characters [this one is mainly fanfic]

IBO reference notes on … Kudelia’s decisions