#whats the opposite of cishet btw?

[random-remzy]

I actually love being me so much

because when people meet me they immidietly assume i'm cishet

and then a couple weeks into the friendship i'll mention in passing something extremely gay and suddenly I've given them an existential crisis where they're forced to adress their own internalized idealistic stereotypes that involve the basis of heteronormativity and how it affects their perception of the people around them.

anyways. I've known this one guy for like 7 years and he legitimately did not know i was queer until a couple of months ago lmaoo.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

Random tangent but Johnkat never happening in Homestuck is so important to me

Karkat having a genuine canonical crush on John and it not being reciprocated but rather met with a genuine request of friendship that he can’t emotionally process, that’s so important to me

John being canonically heterosexual (or at least attracted to women specifically, in regards to June’s later existence) is so important to me, because it builds up the dynamics around him

Both Karkat and Dave have crushes on John in the beginning, and John is incapable of meeting those feelings with equal value. It’s the same situation that Dirk is in, where he really greatly values Roxy and wants to give her the world, but he’s not attracted to girls and can’t be what he wants to be for her. He literally says this in an Act 6 monologue!

And John does love Dave and Karkat, and he values their friendship and constantly misses them during Act 6. But he’s not romantically attracted to them, and doesn’t even consider ever being that. He considers dating Rose, Vriska, Roxy, and Terezi throughout the story but when he learns of Karkat’s crush, he reluctantly turns him down. It’s kind of like that Ace Attorney quote where Larry says something like “sorry Nick, as much as I try I’m just not into men”

And that’s kinda important to me. I like John as that token straight guy in the main story. He’s the bridge for the old-internet culture into the new one, where LGBTQIA+ topics are more openly discussed and acknowledged. John’s blank slate “cishet white boy swag” makes him the perfect vessel for an introduction to the discussion of homosexuality (headcanons notwithstanding)

And John being this bridge allows others to consider their options. Like rays of light, they bounce off him to understand themselves (especially Vriska). Dave struggles with his internalized homophobia and simultaneous crush on John until he can talk to Karkat, who relates to him for having the exact same crush! Plus, they both liked Jade and Terezi for a while too, so they had a lot to relate to. And Karkat has never understood gender exclusivity as a concept, so he kind of had the opposite arc to Dave in a way

And it’s all because John rejected them. That’s why seeing mlm John ships kinda irk me, because the whole point of his character is being not gay in this context. To me, it’s like if you paired a canonical aromantic character in a romantic ship, or a canonical lesbian in a flm ship. John being straight is just important to me for these reasons

This post is not really about June Egbert btw, but I do acknowledge her as a secondary stage of the “Egbert progressional character arc” much like Dave’s bisexual awakening. June Egbert being transfemme does not take away from how important everything I just said about John is, it just adds a new layer of growth to the character

[ckret2]

hey ^^ I love your bill goldilocks cipher, and I was wondering why he possesses a female-presenting body. I am a huge fan of your art btw so don’t take this the wrong way, I just would love to know how you designed him!

The short answer: because he's canonically referred to with he/him pronouns.

The long answer: if you meet somebody who, at a first glance, appears to be anatomically female, and everyone refers to this person with he/him pronouns, you don't immediately know what's going on.

Maybe he's a trans man who's comfortable with his body the way it is as long as everyone around him still treats him as a man. Maybe she's a trans woman with really transphobic acquaintances. Maybe he's nonbinary, maybe he's genderfluid, maybe he's a drag queen who's dressed up for an event but not currently in character, maybe he's a he/him lesbian—you don't know, and it likely isn't your business.

There's only one thing you do know: whatever's going on here, it probably ain't cishet. This person has something going on that does not fit the gender binary. All you can say about him is that he's queer.

Bill's gender is triangle. This simply does not fit within humanity's popular ideas about the male-female binary. Whatever his sexual orientation is, it is not restricted to "only females/only males (as humanity defines femaleness/maleness)"—and so he can't possibly be heterosexual in a manner readily recognizable to human beings. Amongst Bill's own species, maybe he was the most cishet guy you've ever met, I haven't decided; but if you stick Bill amongst humans, regardless of how he sees himself, he'll look queer to us.

On top of that: stick Bill in a human body, and there's a disconnect between his self-identity and the shape he's wearing. Strangers will see him as something he's not: human. He feels trapped in a wrong-shaped form amongst people who think this is normal and what he feels he should be is strange—and if he ever explains that psychological weight of feeling wrong-shaped, the humans most likely to go "I think I get it" are the trans folks who know what dysphoria feels like.

I don't think Bill cares what pronouns humans give him; I think he's called "he/him" either because his human victims decided he sounds male-ish, or else because he consciously decided to take advantage of sexism by presenting himself as male to seem more authoritative. And I don't think Bill cares about the anatomy of the human body he's in; he could have been given any variety of genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, hormone balances, body fat distributions, etc., and he would have been equally uncomfortable in any because they're not a triangle. It makes no difference to him.

But it does something to you (you, The Readers In General): it makes you wonder about his relationship with his body.

Because we're speaking English on the Internet in the 21st century, you and I are participating in a culture that sees having both a vagina and he/him pronouns as Not The Default. It makes Bill look genderqueer-in-a-human-way, and that makes it easier to slide readers over to seeing him as genderqueer-in-a-nonhuman-way. It makes you think about queerness, about dysphoria, about nonbinary folks who defy the expected correlations between pronouns and anatomy without changing their bodies to make them "match."

This is the second or third time somebody's asked me why I put Bill in a female-presenting body. If I'd done the opposite, nobody would have ever asked me why I put Bill in a male-presenting body. Because that's "normal." And I want you to ask questions! I want you to think about Bill's self-image, his internal landscape, the gulf between who he is mentally and what he is physically.

Before I ever directly draw attention to queer topics, I can get folks primed to think about them and to understand that his body doesn't accurately represent his identity just by slapping a pair of boobs on him.

So I slapped a pair of boobs on him.

[leebrontide]

It’s funny- if we view polyamory as an orientation rather than a decision (not trying to weigh in on that btw, this is a hypothetical) then I am like…the opposite of that. I had one moment of that one. It has to be that one. At age 11. Fully 30 years ago. And then that was that. Didn’t date till 7 years later and I have never been interested in anyone else at all. Blissfully together 20+ years now.

But I can understand polyamory. Like yeah, I see why that appeals to and works for people.

But you show me a pair of cishet boomers in a 40 year marriage and I feel like I’m studying some extremely niche marine biology. What are they doing? Why are they doing it? Are they happy? Why are they happy? I’m glad they’re happy but I’m so so confused. Even some cishet couples my own age baffle me.

Like it’s none of my business. They can do whatever they want but I don’t get it, despite my own situation at least superficially mirroring theirs in many ways.

[t4transsexual]

why do you identify with "lesbian" if you say you're a man. A man can't be a lesbian, i don't understand it.

The whole lesbian concept excludes men bc it has nothing to do with men. Lesbian is women loving women, and if you identify as a man, i don't understand how you can identify w the lesbian community as well.

like this isba genuine question, I'd like to listen to your explanation bc im genuinely confused!

trans men, and any trans person really, cannot exist on the same binary cisgender people exist on. the binary was not made with trans people in mind, to be trans and to change your sex (which isnt limited to bottom surgery btw), would be inherently nonbinary, simply because the binary does not accommodate for trans people

beyond that, trans men dont have the same rights privileges and power that a cis man would have. meaning that while a trans man IS a man, he is not a cis man, and thus cannot experience male privilege, or the systemic power that comes with being a cis man

so we can conclude from that two things. one, trans people are inherently nonbinary. while not every trans person identified as nonbinary, the act of transitioning, socially and medically, is an inherently nonbinary act. i personally choose to identify as nonbinary to deal with the distress of people forcing me into the cis man category when i am fundementally different from them. now that we have concluded that the act of transitioning is nonbinary, let me address that: trans men have always been included in lesbianism. the communities are not seperate. the historical definition of lesbian has included gender diverse people as well as women, and trans men are still gender diverse

beyond that; a trans man identifying as a lesbian is not the same as a cis man identifying as a lesbian. the ideas that trans men are men and that trans men are NOT cis men can both be true. trans men who are attracted to women have more societally in common with lesbians (especially genderqueer lesbians) than cishet men. yes, trans men identify as straight all the time. however, if a trans man wants to identify as a lesbian, who are we to deny him? he isnt a cis man, hes not a threat to lesbianism or to the queer community.

faq:

"wouldnt identifying as a lesbian and a trans man be invalidating?"

a: different trans men have different opinions for themselves and their gender. some trans men choose to identify as straight/heterosexual, some trans men choose to identify as lesbians. it just depends on the person, however, if a trans man truly felt invalidated by the lesbian label, he just wouldn't use it. you dont get to assign rules on how a trans man chooses to identify, and you don't know him better than he knows himself

"what IS a lesbian then?"

a: the historical defintion of a lesbian is any gender diverse individual who likes women and/or gender diverse people. however, every lesbian can tell you something different. i know lesbians who only date binary women. i know lesbians who are exclusively t4t. i know lesbians who are femme4butch and date trans men who are butches. someones personal definition of their own lesbianism doesnt invalidate yours, and vice versa

"whats next, a CIS man identifying as a lesbian to cause trouble?"

a: and what if the world was made of pudding? trans men are not cis men, and to believe such is wishful thinking at best, and ultimately distressing to trans people. beyond that, i raise a counterargument of, what if we let trans people use the bathroom of their preferred gender? what would happen if a cis person used the opposite genders bathroom to cause trouble? the fact of the matter is, punishing trans people who are trying to live for the hypothetical cis person doing something wrong is transphobic and also stupid

"evan, i dont WANT to date a male lesbian/lesbian on t! what does this mean for my lesbianism?"

a: absolutely nothing! date who you want! you actually dont have to be attracted to every single person who is a lesbian! i know im not! youre allowed your preferences. i do know for a fact that some lesbians, especially under the trans/genderqueer umbrella are really into trans male lesbians and lesbians on t, but that does NOT mean that you have to be! once again, nobody elses personal definition of lesbianism can invalidate YOUR personal definition of lesbianism. im ALL ABOUT doing what you want!

[viscasi]

You said femininity or masculinity can be detected via vibes? Or am I just missing the whole point of the post?

If so, how can one be enough gender-non-conforming if their vibes give off fem women when being a masc women or the giving off vibes of a masc men when being a fem man?

Like for example, I don’t know if its possible for more feminine-men to kind of still have masculine hobbies and for masculine-women to still have feminine hobbies, etc. like if that is possible. while also still having GNC vibes if that makes sense.

Because I don’t know, I just feel like I’ll never be gender non conforming enough. I feel kind of depressed to have hobbies that kind of are stereotypically associated with the birth sex I have. I feel kind of ashamed of them.

Btw if you do respond I’m happy to see your answer, and thanks for making this account I just don’t see enough masc women on the internet without it being sexualised or any other stuff - you and the r/GNCStraight is helping me lol

So… yes and no. 😅

I tried explaining how I personally conceptualize the existence of masculine/feminine/androgynous identities in this post (which is I think the one you’re referring to?) It does a decent job but it’s somewhat long-winded and I’m not sure how clear it ended up being.

As it happens, between then and now I recently began some philosophy classes, and so I might be able to do a better job now explaining abstract concepts like this. That’ll have to be a dedicated post, though 😅 I’m drafting it up right now. Stay tuned!

While I can’t really provide a definition or absolute indicator right now— or maybe ever, according to philosophy, but we’ll get to that later— for whether or not you, like, “are a masculine person”… I can give you an example of the experience of being a masculine person, which is broadly: my entire blog, or specifically: the description I gave in this other post where I answered a similar ask (answered: what it means to me to be gnc).

Additionally, I will say this:

Ultimately, everyone understands masculinity and femininity differently, and your masculinity is going to be entirely personal and unique to you in the same way that your womanhood is entirely personal and unique to you.

The “what is a masculine person?” debate is very similar to the “What is a woman” debate— in that while womanhood is a real, tangible experience that many people can feel concretely connected to and bond with others in the same group over, it's also true that because the experience is so personal, there can be no defining “checklist” without inevitably excluding many women and many non-women, so it ends up having to be defined by the person themselves. Such is the case with your gnc identity: only you can really define that for yourself.

Regarding you worrying whether you “come off masculine enough” — if it’s any consolation, being worried that others don’t see you as masculine as you understand yourself to be is The masculine experience, haha! Every masculine person experiences this, even cishet, perisex, mainstraight men-- beyond that, many feminine people-- even cishet, perisex, mainstraight women-- experience this too but the opposite. That’s why “you’re not a Real man (towards men)” is even a thing, and why “you’re not being feminine enough (towards women)” is even a thing. It sucks, but you're definitely not alone in it or bringing it upon yourself.

The truth is, people (especially when acting in bad faith) can perceive you incorrectly through no fault of your own. But like I said, that happens to everyone, regardless of if they’re gnc or gc, regardless of if they’re performing their role “enough” to be validated.

However, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you there’s absolutely nothing you can do to communicate your gnc-ness. Even though clothing is not always equal to their experience of masculinity or femininity, most of us do like to communicate our gender nonconformity through visual associations like clothing, and it works well. Experiment with ways of expressing yourself, and see what makes you feel the best!

P.s. totally get feeling insecure about things like hobbies that appear to contradict your gnc identity. If you haven’t read it already, the post I mentioned above might be of some comfort to you— it touches on masculine/feminine Identities being separate and independent from gender norms— I.e., a masculine person can very well have hobbies/skills that are culturally (usually arbitrarily) considered “feminine.” (And vice versa!) You can totally have hobbies that are stereotypically associated with your gender and still be 1000% gnc as a person— for example, I love writing which is (arbitrarily) considered a feminine interest, and my boyfriend (also very hetgnc) LOVES watches which is (arbitrarily) considered a masculine thing to be interested in. You absolutely do not have to be ashamed of your hobbies just because they’re not stereotypically gnc!

I really wish I could communicate everything right now that I want to say in response to this, but there is So Much Information that I’ll just have to give it to you in another dedicated post as mentioned. For now you’ll just have to take my word for it: Listen, if you feel like you are a masculine person— then you are. And honestly, you probably do give off the vibes you’re wanting to, but you don’t have to be in order to be “really” gnc.

Idk if any of that made any sense and I’m so sorry if it didn’t!! I promise I’m working on a more clear, comprehensive answer to this that will be (hopefully) much more useful!

Anyway I’m happy you like my blog and that it’s been helpful to you!! It means so much to me to hear that! My hope in even doing all of this is to be the gnc representation and make the gnc content I always wished I had, and it’s so encouraging to me to know that I’ve achieved that in any capacity. Thanks for the ask anon!

[kimyoonmiauthor]

What are you writing? Queer joy and Queer rage in white spaces? And other PoC queer musings.

So basically I'm writing Queer rage for one novel, which covers a wide range of subjects besides queerness, such as most of the LGBTQIA things, and racism, ableism, disablism, etc. And what does it exactly mean to be a feminist while doing those things?

That novel, when I describe it gets zero push back. It's issues everyone knows, though I challenge pretty deep on some of the more messy bits that probably won't make straight people happy. Doing call outs and call ins along the way... but I'm sure white feminists will have deep issues with it or whatever.

The novel I have the most pushback on, so far, is the queer joy one. It's not a white setting, but white queers are upset at me on several ways I do it. I said something on the order of, Nuke the European gender binary in an other world planet and be delighted at making cis people question their gender identity, and the white queers were upset at me and then went onto tone policing.

The thread went to hell, when really, I was writing a culture that's approximately East Asian (I studied vastly well for this)? And the European binary shouldn't figure into it, and people got super upset at the idea I would do this? But it's not as if white straight people haven't nuked the gender binary before.

There's Ursula Le Guin and Neil Gaiman for example.

Iunno, I did the due diligence as a NB PoC, and did look at queer history of East Asian countries and pulled from that, which has more Third gender acceptance across the board, and if you look, it's less sanitized.

Japan constantly, constantly plays with gender in ways that make my NB self fall in love. Even the straight authors play around with X-Gender, etc. Watase Yuu also played with it where a character wanted to become female in one of their lesser known manga. I loved that manga, BTW, because probably before I knew, it covered a lot of the feels I had, and some of the weirdness of gender for me.

Have you read Blue Wars? I mean, Sooo good. And a Cis person wrote it.

Besides that, there is also Go Go Princess. Gender squishy bisexual (at least, if not pan) delight it is. The Beauty Inside (I liked the movie more than the drama, but both are good). And a ton of media where there are gender body swaps. (I love those). And I mildly like the cross dressing ones–though we need more men dressing up as women too in non-threatening ways. (which white people also take umbrage to–cishet people dressing up as the opposite sex, how dare you--it's anti-trans. But it's part of the folktales of the countries I cited.) But I like the magical ones better. And no one flags it and goes, you know what this needs, the pain of trans medical surge– and hormones, because that's trans-ness and you're really disrespecting trans people by not including it. But it isn't... often ironically and to my delight of anti-terfness, it's a challenge about what? Sexism. Ha! We got ya!

And after a while, sometimes I feel like the categorization of Nonbinary itself in this confined white definition feels, iunno, limiting. But I also feel like I'm not allowed to say that out loud or something. I'm betraying my NB status. After all, all of the guides about nonbinary-ness are written for a white straight audience in mind, saying things like NBs will really mind if you talk about their assigned birth sex and it's a betrayal to NB status to talk about their assigned sex. And maybe *psst* write about them having *gasp* sex with body parts and how dare you? Oh, but don't forget the NB PoCs out there. But do default to They, even if the NB community doesn't feel evenly about this... because you see, you really, really need the cis audience out there to know this character is NB. Even if there are people out there that use he/him/his and she/her/hers. Mind the cis audience, folks, you need to be consistent.

And I know I'm not all of NB-dom here, but I don't particularly feel this way. I delighted in Ranma 1/2 before I knew I was NB, though it kinda missed out on that gooey part of NBness for me, where you feel like neither or mixed. But I'm not allowed to do this, even if Ranma 1/2 is a romance of sorts...

I'm more like, whatever I could get tomorrow I'd take it, type. I love, love media that challenges cissexism and cisness. But my opinions aren't reflected in the white writing guides about NBs. You have to be super careful and not laissez faire. How dare you want to write NB romance where you talk about sex changes? Don't you know the dysphoria and how disrespectful it is to talk about NB bodies? duhn duhn duhn, you betrayed all of NBdom by giving fuel to the transphobes by talking about *gasp* their assigned sex. What will the straight people think?

But I don't feel that way. Maybe because the rigidity found inherent in European gender systems isn't in East Asia as much. I mean the super strict to the point that people lose their sense of morality type of gender correction. So I kind of feel like I'm floating in this liminal space of needing to bend to some white ideal of what queerness needs to be while lusting really hard to be given the freedom to express what I want to show it to be because my ideas of gender are "wrong" and "anti-queer" when I am queer and am trying to express my ideas of queerness and joy in being queer but being told my version of queerness isn't white enough, and thus anti-queer?

How does that work exactly?

So in order to reorder the gender system to automatically include NBs, I decided to nuke the entire gender system, which meant I had to also rework the sexual orientation section as well because it depends a lot on cis-ness to work in a European model, and thus kicks out NBs, which NBs then complain about. No one remembers that people felt "betrayed" when Elliot Page came out as Trans? I wanted to rework the system so there wasn't anything like that. I wanted a more inclusive system that celebrated trans-ness, NBness and Queerness without this reshuffling effect. And this also upset people. But I'm telling you with the strength of my degree, sexual orientation hasn't worked the same over time either, and me wanting to basically turn this thing around *in a story* and rework the sexual orientation system along with the gender system also gets people really upset.

Neil Gaiman got it. His angels don't have sex organs, so... how can you call them "gay" or "Bi" when their bodies are effectively androgynous?

But PoC NB questioning the shape of things and wanting to remake a world to accept more NBness by reshaping this, in *fiction* somehow is a threat?

So this is where I am at.

I did a hand wave in my fiction world and allowed characters to do consensual changing of their sex. 'cause East Asian fiction, presently and historically doesn't mind that much (though out of the public eye most of the time of international fans.) But I also didn't want to somehow "erase" the transness with it. I wanted to be honest that even if they change their physical sex, that there is still trans-ness inherent in it. And people don't really want to talk about how sometimes transitioning can change your sexuality and sexual orientation, but I wanted to talk about it in a way that wasn't all doom and gloom and about how horrible and how it betrays this sense of sexual orientation and identity to stay one sexual orientation all your life–because you must, or you betray all of queerdom. (What if the straights find out?) Fuck, do I have to think about straight people when writing queer joy? Apparently queer people want to remind you about the straights.

And then I have effectively the equivalent of bi, pan, omni, poly, lesbians, and gays running around in the world, which I suppose people will label the characters as anyway, even if I recategorized the sexual orientation boxes to neatly fit NBs. I wanted to allow for sexual orientation fluidity as well, which often the labels of bi, etc don't allow. 'cause I'm one of those really liberal queers that like talking about how some people have split attractions to different genders and some people are more attracted to one gender over another, which doesn't mean they hate that gender outright, which then the queer community feels iffy about, but I'm like, bring it on. Let's talk about people who are attracted to all genders who are only attracted to other people who are attracted to all genders. Is it wrong? No. Why should it be? It's not fetishization.

I also nuked a lot of the Victorian idealism over sex because in my research, such prudishness to that degree was a later imposition and I wanted to be sex positive (as an ace too) and also not quite historically accurate. 'cause sex positivity isn't automatically anti-ace or anti-queer, though some writing guides seem to make it out to be. And I didn't want to impose European imperialism on a world that effectively has no white people and has more trade cooperatives than imperialism (because there is a bigger threat usually than that). (No gulf stream... and the planet is warmer too, so no really white people, which people really got upset about. Eat it. You get your all white worlds somehow, with an equator and no Gulf Stream which makes no sense, then I get to have a PoC-dominate world with actual astronomy and geography behind it.)

Still Ace, but recognizing Sex workers as valid people and that regulation is better than none is totally something I do. I write frankly about sex too, 'cause ummm... Aces write about sex. Aceness is limited, conditional or no sexual attraction. And some Aces who are sex repulsed, also love to write smut. So... but I'm also told that's not the correct aceness by people who aren't ace?

Am I not allowed to write romance as an aromantic either? Even if I've actually experienced romance before? 'cause guess what? Aros also have romance too.

And yeah, I wrote some aces and aros in. 'cause I can.

But apparently I'm not doing it right. It's too neat, it's too messy, it's too PoC and not white queer enough. What about those Victorian values of never talking about body parts by their correct name in a fit of sex shaming and secrecy? Why can't I write that?

I didn't know Queer joy could be so, so decisive an issue. How dare you take away my label in a fictional world so you can include NBs in that world?

Wait until they see how I nuked the adoption system using historical cases... Ah, then they'll be really upset.

BTW, I'd 100% be down for a Lesbian or a Gay planet. Or a Pan paradise... (hopefully done better than Orville and Star Trek?)

[hunterwritesstuff]

How do you write the victims of Mandela Catalogue?(Mark, Cesar, Adam, and Jonah)

Ahh, Victim crew! Sure!

🔫 Mark is a quiet man, but when he gets comfy around someone, he can be pretty excited!

🔫 Him and Cesar have known each other since like, 2nd grade and have been close ever since!

🔫 When he was a kid, Mark was the typical shy kid, hiding behind his mom when Cesar first met him, scared of the outgoing boy.

🔫 He's used to being dragged around by Cesar for things. He tried fighting it at first, but Cesar is a LOT STRONGER THAN HE LOOKS.

🔫 Doesn't help that Mark is built like an Iphone. Er...Blackberry? Whatever mobile phones they had back then, Mark has that build.

🔫 Aroace. I don't make the rules.

🔫 Classic Catholic boy. Prays, goes to church, confesses his sins, probably has trauma, yk.

🔫 He's given himself a heart attack with his left-out laundry on multiple occasions.

🔫 Doesn't really talk much with his parents, as both work a lot.(Mom works at the church, dad is elsewhere.) Thanks to this, his personal hygiene isn't the best.(He doesn't wanna risk contact with them.)

🔫 Honestly, he probably sees Dave as his dad more than his actual dad.

🔫 Oh yeah, I see Dave as his Uncle btw. Do with that what you will.

📞 Cesar is pretty much the opposite of Mark, being very outgoing and friendly with other people.

📞 Like, sometimes, Mark has to drag Cesar out of church to get his ass home levels of outgoing.

📞 Cesar is very much cishet. Don't be weird about it.

📞 He will fuck up anyone who gets on Mark's ass. Again, he's stronger than he looks.

📞 If the bowtie comes off, heaven help you.

📞 or Hell.

📞 God and Satan will turn the other way if that happens, probably.

📞 Aside from that, he's a great cook!

📞 If he hears you say something bad about one of his friends, he's just gonna. kick you out.

📞 I don't remember if this is canon, but idc, Cesar and his family is hispanic, I don't make the rules.

📞 That's why he's so good at cooking! His mom gave him some good recipes!

📞 If he's having a bad day, he'll just sorta. Grab himself some orange sorbet out of the freeze and go through it until he feels better.

📞 Alternate Cesar, however...

📞 Alternate Cesar is a bit of a cunt.

📞 Manipulative, emotionally devastating, lying, and cunning, Alt Cesar is pretty much everything that Cesar himself isn't.

📞 If by some chance, he gets attached to someone, heaven help them, because Gabriel sure as Hell can't control him.

📞 Not in a bad way, mind you, he still has enough cognitive thinking that he knows not to hurt someone he cares about.

📞 He'll just be overly possessive and protective of them.

🍎 Adam Murray! Oh boy, my favorite Victim! :D

🍎 Not gonna show too much favoritism here though.

🍎 Low empathy. RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THIS GUY HAS LOW EMPATHY.

🍎 Alternate or not, he's got low empathy and it SHOWSSS.

🍎 He has an AFFINITY for apple flavored shit.

🍎 Apple pies, apple cobblers, apple juice, apples, apple pudding, apple sauce, apple candy, candy apples, apple tarts, ANYTHING APPLE, THIS GUY LOVES.

🍎 That being said, if someone gives him anything SOUR that's apple flavored, he'll feel betrayed and never forgive them. He doesn't like sour shit.

🍎 Because "that shit hurts my mouf :("

🍎 He did care about Evelin, he just had issues showing that.

🍎 He tried sharing his interests with her, it sucks that his interests are vague prophecies and hunting down demons or ghosts.

🍎 Has a weird dislike for sports.

🍎 Probably because he can't wear his hoodie.

🍎 Seriously, Sarah swears this guy never washes his hoodie.

🍎 He does well in almost no classes aside from like, history.

🍎 This guy could tell you NOTHING about the Pythagorean theorem, but he could tell you JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE DIED IN WORLD WAR ONE.

🍎 He has morbid interests.

🍕 I don't write much with Jonah, but like, dude is UNIRONICALLY A HARDCORE SHAGGY KINNIE.

🍕 He tried pitching the idea of getting an animal mascot for the Bythorne Paranormal Society.

🍕 This didn't work.

🍕 Jonah was very sad.

🍕 Bakes on occasion.

🍕 One of said things he can bake is probably easy to guess.

🍕 Pizza connoisseur.

🍕 The only way to get this guy to lay off your pizza is to order pineapple on your pizza.

🍕 Pothead, I'm sorry.

Sorry there ain't much for Jonah, I don't know how to write him much. I hope you enjoy the stuff! <3

[a-frog-in-a-bog]

… why do you agree that aro/ace people are “privileged”?

is there a specific post i reblogged you're referring to? i don't think i've ever said that. anyway non-LGBT aces and aros definitely benefit from cishet privilege, even if they're not heterosexual (a cis aro-ace person for example, who is neither straight nor queer). oppression operates on a systemic level, upheld by the law.

here's an example from the stonewall riots wikipedia: "Throughout the 1950s and 1960s, the FBI and police departments kept lists of known homosexuals and their favored establishments and friends; the US Post Office kept track of addresses where material pertaining to homosexuality was mailed ... bars catering to gay men and lesbians were shut down and their customers were arrested and exposed in newspapers. Cities performed "sweeps" to rid neighborhoods, parks, bars, and beaches of gay people. They outlawed the wearing of opposite-gender clothes and universities expelled instructors suspected of being homosexual".

today's bathroom bills, gay wedding cake bs, bans on gay couples adopting kids, and limits on testosterone levels in women's sports are just a few of many laws upholding oppression. non-LGBT aces and aros are not affected by these laws or cultural stigma.

that isn't to say that non-LGBT aces and aros don't face any discrimination, just that it's not a result of them being ace or aro. being pressured to have sex when you don't want to is rape culture, and it affects everyone, especially women (misogyny). the outdated idea that adult happiness depends on getting married and having kids (which is fortunately dying out) isn't amatonormativity, it's the christian ideology that's permeated into our culture. being asked about your libido at the doctor's isn't ace discrimination, it's bc changes in libido can indicate something serious. in order for low/no libido to be characterized as a disorder in the medical and psychiatric fields, it must explicitly cause the patient significant distress, and even then, treatment is usually regular ol' couples counseling, not conversion therapy. btw conversion therapy involves harmful methods to force patients to associate homosexual attraction with pain and disgust, it's not a therapist asking "but are you sure your lack of attraction doesn't stem from trauma?"

do aces and aros get bullied for their identities? yes. but that's not what oppression or privilege refers to.

[hobimo]

sorry if i keep sending you asks i think it would feel a lil weird to dm bc my accounts on sns tend to be kind of throwaway accounts bc i don't know how to build an online presence prob freaks ppl out lol but yeah exactly you can tell that a lot of new jikookers experienced fan fiction for the first time with jikook so they just be reading and writing whatever. no critical thinking just big cocks and alpha knots is what it takes. the thing is that imo years ago you used to like a pairing and then get inspired by them to make up stories/characters, whereas i feel that now jikookers first and foremost see jm and jk's relationship and personalities in That specific way and it translates to fics as well. they keep saying it's just fiction but i don't buy it lmao i think it's the opposite so yeah it kinda fucks the whole thing up yk. OH btw i know that author!!! i have one of their naruto fics saved in my bookmarks so i'm def familiar w them, i'll check it out! ty <3

(i'll censor the names just in case) yeah they're rly good! hmm rk1ve1nk did an interesting spin on omegaverse in Forest,F1re. very animalistic even though the characters were made in a lab, super unique fic. Mo0nJar by them too is pretty cool. changing genres completely, user cartograph1c writes these weird lil fics, def recommended!!

HEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i swear i get so excited when i see you in my inbox hello hello hello

yessssss surveycorpsjean has been Around writing bangers. i am just discovering bakudeku the last few months tho so im extra insane about them 👍also recommend watching trigun for normal reasons (please. please please please please we need more people with trigun brainrot. if u like the hanged man archetype and characters doomed by the narratve and tragic siblings you will Love trigun.)

thank you very much for the fic recs!!!!!!! i have heard of the first author but cant think of the fic ive read so i will check it out. im such a fucking sucker for super animalistic a/b/o..... that furry shit is so good

i have so many thoughts about the way people talk and think about jimin these days but im so scared putting them on public posts will get me doxxed or some shit. people are very attached to the idea that jimin acts openly queer which is really like. well. yeah. i definitely think people reallyyyy need to remember it doesnt matter how much you believe someone famous is queer theyre just presenting in a way that makes them happy and you really do NOT need to decide whether that's queer or not lmao in fact i think it says way more about someone when they decide he's queer because he doesnt act like a "typical man". like yeah in his performances obviously he explores gender some times but like sometimes songwriters are also exploring themes and thoughts that are purely creative. sometimes its not about them (and sometimes it is!) but. yeah. you can PERCEIVE him as queer if it makes you happy but you gotta remember thats not fact thats just what YOU think. yknow. and i also think this translates kinda into the fic people consume and create.

like here's the thing. people dont need to ACT a certain way to be considered men like thats ridiculous if youre a man youre a man regardless of how you act or what u say or what bits you have. same for any gender. which is why i generally think critiquing the cringey wattpad fics is a slippery slope. however, do i also think a lot of them have a very distinct cishet girl fantasy..... yes. but its embarrassing to write Y/N fic. so theyve gotta vent their desires somehow which is like fine i dont give a shit what people write. (as much as it bothers me how uncritically people read it and get it popular) but sometimes in a/b/o especially....... its VERY clear when your biases come out. which is why its sooooooooo obvious when someone who has never met real life queer people writes it. for example grouping "women and omegas" like they fill the same role despite being different subgenders when u could specify like. omegas and female betas. if u wanted. implying that women are still women even if theyre alpha but omegas are not men anymore. you get me? the fact that u decided to include male/female gender essentialism in the fic genre specifically around Not doing that is so unbelievably on the nose. and yet i see it everywhere. (i also think this is a symptom of people never having read other fandoms tho. they dont even know about gock [girl cock]).

also fics where the major antagonists are a group of girls that harrass jimin r super mean bc god we cant have a MAN do that or he's a predator. you get me? and the alpha jk who is quiet and broody and doesnt even HAVE to fight bc he's soooooooo strong the other alphas are just scared of his vibes. like you know the type of fic im describing. in general whenever the major antagonist of the fic is a bunch of women who also want to fuck jk (which like. if we're supposed to believe jk is soooo hot... like. they should?) and the author calls them a "gaggle" of women and emphasises how they "giggle" and their high pitched unpleasant voices..... brother we have some serious internalised misogyny to unpack with that one.

sorry this is such a massive rant I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. IVE READ SO MUCH BAD FIC IVE NOTICED SO MUCH

[lostuntothisworld]

I really like this theory. BUT that doesn’t really explain the the dichotomy when he transforms into Griffe Noire? If that makes sense.

Like. As a civilian, Badrien is thoroughly emo, which is defined basically by glorifying being depressed and self destructive tendencies. (Don’t come at me for this interpretation because I was once emo as a teen and know how their minds work). Yes, the emotions are real, but emo still romanticizes pain and suffering. There is no escape to it, because it’s supposed to be what sets us apart from the conformists, preps, and posers. I knew many teenage emos, myself included, who refused help due to this. And yes. I did not want to be sad and suicidal all the time. But that would also mean the music I listened to, and the aesthetic I loved wouldn’t mean anything to me anymore. It would make me a poser. And that was frightening. (Also there was the “help” that tried to conform us to cishet expectations that we refused because we were queer but that’s a different story that I doubt they’ll tackle in Miraculous so I won’t discuss it here.)

ANYWAY

MEANWHILE Griffe Noire is PUNK through and through. Punk is a counterculture defined by freedom, self expression, nonconformity, anti-authoritarian, direct action for meaningful change, and not selling out…

If Gabriel is supposed to be a good person in this universe, then why are Badrien and Griffe Noire practically different people?

Before I get to these theories, I want you to think about one of the promotional videos of civilian Alya. Her face model is definitely modified but the outfit she is wearing is an orange patterned shirt and a jean jacket, which is something our main universe Alya would very likely wear if the animation budget for the show allowed for extra outfits.

This means that the alternative universe is NOT completely opposite of our main universe.

That means there has to be something else driving the story.

Did [horrible at his job] Master Fu choose the wrong people for the Ladybug and the Black Cat?

Did Master Fu choose the right people to wield the miraculous [like in the main universe] but the miraculous got stolen by Toxinelle and Griffe Noire?

When Master Fu escaped from the crumbling Guardian’s Temple, did he lose the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous instead of the Butterfly and Peacock, when he disgraced himself by not being able to eat for 24 hours? [Master Fu lost the Miraculous [[AND THE GRIMOIRE]] on the mountains in Asia btw so keep that in mind when deciding who found them]

Did Master Fu lose the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous at a different time? [As incompetent as he was, main series Master Fu didn’t lose more miraculous than the first two, so I’m kinda skeptical about this one]

Is Hesperia actually secretly evil and is in the wrong to take away Toxinelle and Griffe Noire’s miraculous? [this one doesn’t make sense because Toxinelle and Griffe Noire can make the wish if they want to but oh well] In the alternative universe, is it the Butterfly Miraculous that grants the wish? [tbh this one makes the most sense to me due to past *cough*missteps*cough* decisions of the writers, and according to (possibly not real tho) synopsis I’ve read, Toxinelle and Griffe Noire are trying to steal the Butterfly Miraculous in the alternate universe) even tho Tiki and Plagg create the kwami of reality and and the kwami of reality seems like a big deal, and it doesn’t make sense that Nooroo would be able to replicate that, but whatever…

but I keep coming back to this…

What if Master Fu chose the right two people to wield the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous.

What if the original Black Cat miraculous user was actually a sentimonster.

What if there was a girl, who was so obsessed with a boy, and that boy was secretly the original Black Cat Miraculous weirder, and she memorized his schedule for 3 years in advanced. What if she religiously researched him via propaganda designed by his restricting father. What if she researched him instead of asking him directly (because they are in the same classroom), what she made him presents for every birthday, and holiday until he was thirty because she expected him to stay the exact same as he was as a teenager….

And this girl is SO smart. What if she figured out he was a sentimonster and how to control him through his amoks…

What if she ordered the original Black Cat to steal the original Ladybug’s miraculous so she could take the original Ladybug’s place…

What if that’s why, in his escapist fantasies, he is Punk… What if indeed…

But the writers are probably going to say that in the alternate reality, Nooroo can make the wish, and that’s why Toxinelle and Griffe Noire are trying to get the Butterfly Miraculous to revive Emilie because Badrien is too emotional and volatile in his grief for his own good. And it’s up to Toxinelle to save him from himself and go to show him the way of good, thanks to the help of main universe Ladybug showing her you don’t have to be evil.

And remember, this special is supposed to take place while Gabriel is still alive in season 5. This is the same Gabriel who believes that Adrien is too emotional to make his own choices…

And remember… our universe Marinette honors Gabriela’s last wish that Adrien should be kept in the dark about the fact that he is a sentimonster and that his father was Monarque…

What if indeed…

WAIT HOLD ON 😭

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Remaining placement RR team thoughts. I finished the show yesterday but didn’t get to thoughts so I could let them settle

The Reality TV Pros are a good concept on paper but faiiiled. Noah was really mean this season and especially to Owen. Owen was also pretty helpless which didn’t help because I didn’t go in already wanting the best for Owen (he’s fine, I just don’t find him funny). I’m kinda bummed out we never got flashbacks to the boys on other shows, even if just stills when someone asked about an episode they were on. I could imagine Dwayne saying “say aren’t you those nice boys who were on [x]” and Junior wants to walk away sooo badly. his ship with Emma was cringey, I hate hypocrites in love, and I hate that Father and Son lost to Owen literally carrying Noah through a sadness coma. any other situation and I’d pity Noah. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE DATERS THAT EP. Sorry. For being out at the time they did, they got insane screentime.

Fuck the writers. Someone hold me back. WHY did they only get 7th. God I mean come ON. They were so funny, their relationship feels so REAL without relying on constant kissing or pda, and I kinda get their emotional issue with each other ungoth. I’ve seen people credit them as being “shallow”, but you have no idea what kind of dysphoria you can get from being in a subculture so long. The two also have insane transgender swag. Their normal attire and max goth outfits are literally so iconic I love them. BOTH of them btw. Only critique is Ennui should have known better than to attempt to jump into water holding Loki. Rabbits can’t be submerged in water! Regardless, they should have lasted longer and only lost because they were too good for a romance plotline.

I knew The Surfer Bros elim was a fakeout so I wasn’t too invested in Vietnam ep. More on them later

The Daters started off okayish but I hated them by Hawaii. I really don’t know if the show wanted us to hate them, or if we were supposed to go “I’ve been there!” because I have NOT. Two elimination fakeouts is WAY too many. I’m willing to say there were plenty of times they finished early I would have axed them for. Perhaps Little Bull on the P- I’ll stop. Lord of the Ring Toss was a really fun episode until The Daters took over. God. Even their real elim was silly

I haaaate most “childhood friends to lovers” things because I have zero touch with my childhood friends and I feel a lot of it involves comphet and “love makes you dumb” type shit. Anyways I had no grand opinions on The Best Friends, both at the beginning of the show and the late parts. Of all the unisex duos (Goths, Daters, Ice Dancers, Fashion Bloggers, LARPers) they’re the most cishet with very rigid gender norms. Since Carrie was so excited to do magic I was certain she’d be the magician and Devin would be the assistant, but no. Same with Hawaii, even if all the unisex couples did it. Jacques also wore a skirt in Hawaii! Get Devin in a skirt! Also Carrie manipulating Devin to make him go through the stages faster was a bit... um.

The Sisters did not grow on me. Quite the opposite! While I don’t think they outstayed their welcome, they are good competitors, I just think their interactions with others SUCK. I already mentioned I do not ship Nem/ma, but god. Makes you think of good Rajbow was establishing relationship boundaries where they’d pause while on the island so it didn’t get in the way of competition. Emma could have done that but didn’t. Can’t even argue emotional maturity since Bowie was younger in the show too. Kitty REALLY felt like a sidekick to Emma once Noah left. I loved her at first, but she felt so stagnant. No character arcs that weren’t dependent on Emma’s mood for the episode. Kitty rising to the occasion was always based off Emma... not rising to the occasion. Never because Kitty had a secret talent or skill she could show off. Fucking over the Adversity Twins was genuinely shitty and extra vile that like?? They already FINISHED and made rug, so they literally wandered back to mentally injure a contestant. If the Ice Dancers did that they’d be crucified.

The Ice Dancers rule honestly. I think all their plot beats (luck vs bad luck, issues with contestants no one else views as threats, pride vs success) were genuinely interesting to watch them explore. Obvious villains you should hate, but they’re interesting. Usually TD villains are laughable evil (Max, Justin) or vanity evil (Heather, Alejandro), but they manage to survive even with chipped nails and blemished faces. Because skaters get back up. And their weaknesses are so iconic. Josee is one of the million claustrophobic characters, but it’s way better here than with Gwen. Jacques hates fish. Based.

ACAB. I hate The Cadets. I assumed people hated them simply because cops suck, but WOW. MacArthur is THE WORST!? If I accidentally broke someone’s arm like that I’d be so forceful that we should just drop. No million is worth that. Plus they’re Canadian and healthcare so it’s not like they’d need it to pay for the cast lol. Very glad I didn’t watch the Netflix version that says they won. Ewwww. Imagine if the season came out today. People would probably hate them even more since no nostalgia glasses.

The Surfer Bros rule. They’re so nice, they’re so funny, they’re great. I’ve seen people say they made Geoff extra dumb thinking Komodo dragons are real dragons and breathe fire, but that’s a fair thought. You know how many people I know think turkens are turkey and chicken hybrids? They aren’t! They’re pure chicken but look like turkeys. Does that make anyone reading this who thought that stupid? Nope. There’s a lot of animals in the world. God. Brody’s crush on MacArthur felt like a comic sketch. You REALLY think a chillax man could date a crooked cop? Yeah no. Poly Surfers 4ever

[potteresque-ire]

Can you talk more about the usage of the word "wife" to talk about men in the BL context? I've noticed it in BJYX (particularly with GG), in the (English translations) of MDZS, and then it came up in your recent posts about Danmei-101 (which were super helpful btw) with articles connecting the "little fresh meat" type to fans calling an actor "wife." My initial reaction as a westerner is like "this is very problematic," but I think I'm missing a lot of language/cultural context. Any thoughts?

Hello! First of all, for those who’re interested, here’s a link to the referred posts. Under the cut is arguably the 4th post of the series. As usual, I apologise for the length!

(Topics: seme and uke; more about “leftover women”; roster of feminisation terms; Daji, Bao Si & the origin of BJYX; roster of beautiful, ancient Chinese men; Chairman Mao (not part of the roster) ...)

[TW: feminisation of men]

In the traditional BL characterisation, the M/M (double male) lead pairing is essentially a cis-het relationship in disguise, in which one of the M leads is viewed as the “wife” by the creator and audience. This lead often possesses some of the features of the traditional, stereotypical female, but retaining his male appearance. 

In BL terms, the “wife” is the “uke”. “Seme” and “uke” are the respective roles taken by the two male leads, and designated by the creator of the material. Literally, “seme” (攻め) means the dominant, the attacking / aggressive partner in the relationship and “uke” (受け), the passive / recipient (of actions) partner who tends to follow the seme’s lead. The terms themselves do not have any sexual / gender context.  However, as male and female are viewed as aggressive and passive by their traditional social roles, and the attacker and recipient by their traditional sexual roles respectively, BL fandoms have long assigned uke, the passive, sexual “bottom”, as the “woman”, the “wife”. 

Danmei has kept this “semi” and uke” tradition from BL, taking the kanji of the Japanese terms for designation ~ 攻 (”attack” is therefore the “husband”, and 受 (”receive”), the “wife”. The designations are often specified in the introduction / summary of Danmei works as warning / enticement. For MDZS, for example, MXTX wrote:

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 × 邪魅狂狷風騷 受

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 = noble, coolly beautiful and boring seme (referring to LWJ)  邪魅狂狷風騷 受 = devilishly charming, wild, and flirty uke (referring to WWX) 

The traditional, stereotypical female traits given to the “uke”, the “wife” in Danmei and their associated fanworks range from their personality to behaviour to even biological functions. Those who have read the sex scenes in MDZS may be aware of their lack of mention of lube, while WWX was written as getting (very) wet from fluids from his colon (腸道) ~ implying that his colon, much like a vagina, was supplying the necessarily lubrication for sex. This is obviously biologically inaccurate; however, Danmei is exempt from having to be realistic by its original Tanbi definition. The genre’s primary audience is cishet females, and sex scenes such as this one aren’t aiming for realism. Rather, the primary goal of these sex scenes is to generate fantasy, and the purpose of the biologically female functions in one of the leads (WWX) is to ease the readers into imagining themselves as the one engaging in the sex.

Indeed, these practices of assigning as males and female the M/M sexual top and bottom, of emphasising of who is the top and who is the bottom, have been falling out of favour in Western slash fandoms ~ I joined fandom about 15 years ago, and top and bottom designations in slash pairings (and fights about them) were much more common than it is now.  The generally more open, more progressive environments in which Western fandomers are immersed in probably have something to do with it: they transfer their RL knowledge, their views on biology, on different social into their fandom works and discourses. 

I’d venture to say this: in the English-speaking fandoms, fandom values and mainstream values are converging. “Cancel culture” reflects an attempt to enforce RL values in the fictional worlds in fandom. Fandom culture is slowly, but surely, leaving its subculture status and becoming part of mainstream culture. 

I’d hesitate to call c-Danmei fandoms backward compared to Western slash for this reason. There’s little hope for Danmei to converge with China’s mainstream culture in the short term ~ the necessity of replacing Danmei with Dangai in visual media already reflects that. Danmei is and will likely remain subculture in the foreseeable future, and subcultures, at heart, are protests against the mainstream. Unless China and the West define “mainstream” very similarly (and they don’t), it is difficult to compare the “progressiveness”—and its dark side, the “problematic-ness”—of the protests, which are shaped by what they’re protesting against. The “shaper” in this scenario, the mainstream values and culture, are also far more forceful under China’s authoritarian government than they are in the free(-er) world. 

Danmei, therefore, necessarily takes on a different form in China than BL or slash outside China. As a creative pursuit, it serves to fulfil psychological needs that are reflective of its surrounding culture and sociopolitical environment. The genre’s “problematic” / out of place aspects in the eyes of Western fandoms are therefore, like all other aspects of the genre, tailor-made by its millions of fans to be comforting / cathartic for the unique culture and sociopolitical background it and they find themselves in. 

I briefly detoured to talk about the Chinese government’s campaign to pressure young, educated Chinese women into matrimony and motherhood in the post for this reason, as it is an example of how, despite Western fandoms’ progressiveness, they may be inadequate, distant for c-Danmei fans. Again, this article is a short and a ... morbidly-entertaining read on what has been said about China’s “leftover women” (剩女) — women who are unmarried and over 27-years-old). I talked about it, because “Women should enter marriage and parenthood in their late 20s” may no longer a mainstream value in many Western societies, but where it still is, it exerts a strong influence on how women view romance, and by extension, how they interact with romantic fiction, including Danmei.

In China, this influence is made even stronger by the fact that Chinese tradition  places a strong emphasis on education and holds a conservative attitude towards romance and sex. Dating while studying therefore remains discouraged in many Chinese families. University-educated Chinese women therefore have an extremely short time frame — between graduation (~23 years old) and their 27th birthday — to find “the right one” and get married, before they are labelled as “leftovers” and deemed undesirable. (Saving) face being an important aspect in Chinese culture introduces yet another layer of pressure: traditionally, women who don’t get married by the age agreed by social norms have been viewed as failures of upbringing, in that the unmarried women’s parents not having taught/trained their daughters well. Filial, unmarried women therefore try to get married “on time” just to avoid bringing shame to their family.

The outcome is this: despite the strong women characters we may see in Chinese visual media, many young Chinese women nowadays do not expect themselves to be able to marry for love. Below, I offer a “book jacket summary” of a popular internet novel in China, which shows how the associated despair also affects cis-het fictional romance. Book reviews praise this novel for being “boring”: the man and woman leads are both common working class people, the “you-and-I”’s; the mundaneness of them trying build their careers and their love life is lit by one shining light: he loves her and she loves him. 

Written in her POV, this summary reflects, perhaps, the disquiet felt by many contemporary Chinese women university graduates:

曾經以為，自己這輩子都等不到了—— 世界這麼大，我又走得這麼慢，要是遇不到良人要怎麼辦？早過了「全球三十幾億男人，中國七億男人，天涯何處無芳草」的猖狂歲月，越來越清楚，循規蹈矩的生活中，我們能熟悉進而深交的異性實在太有限了，有限到我都做好了「接受他人的牽線，找個適合的男人慢慢煨熟，再平淡無奇地進入婚姻」的準備，卻在生命意外的拐彎處迎來自己的另一半。

I once thought, my wait will never come to fruition for the rest of my life — the world is so big, I’m so slow in treading it, what if I’ll never meet the one? I’ve long passed the wild days of thinking “3 billion men exist on Earth, 0.7 of which are Chinese. There is plenty more fish in the sea.” I’m seeing, with increasing clarity, that in our disciplined lives, the number of opposite-sex we can get to know, and get to know well, is so limited. It’s so limited that I’m prepared to accept someone’s matchmaking, find a suitable man and slowly, slowly, warm up to him, and then, to enter marriage with without excitement, without wonder. But then, an accidental turn in my life welcomes in my other half.

— Oath of Love (餘生，請多指教) (Yes, this is the novel Gg’d upcoming drama is based on.) 

Heteronormativity is, of course, very real in China. However, that hasn’t exempted Chinese women, even its large cis-het population, from having their freedom to pursue their true love taken away from them. Even for cis-het relationships, being able to marry for love has become a fantasy —a fantasy scorned by the state. Remember this quote from Article O3 in the original post? 

耽改故事大多远离现实，有些年轻受众却将其与生活混为一谈，产生不以结婚和繁衍为目的才是真爱之类的偏颇认知。

Most Dangai stories are far removed from reality; some young audience nonetheless mix them up with real life, develop biased understanding such as “only love that doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations is true love”. 

I didn’t focus on it in the previous posts, in an effort to keep the discussion on topic. But why did the op-ed piece pick this as an example of fantasy-that-shouldn’t-be-mixed-up-with-real-life, in the middle of a discussion about perceived femininity of men that actually has little to do with matrimony and reproduction? 

Because the whole point behind the state’s “leftover women” campaign is precisely to get women to treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations, not beautiful sceneries that happen along the way. And they’re the state’s destination as more children = higher birth rate that leads to higher future productivity. The article is therefore calling out Danmei for challenging this “mainstream value”.

Therefore, while the statement True love doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations may be trite for many of us while it may be a point few, if any, English-speaking fandoms may pay attention to, to the mainstream culture Danmei lives in, to the mainstream values dictated by the state, it is borderline subversive.

As much as Danmei may appear “tame” for its emphasis on beauty and romance, for it to have stood for so long, so firmly against China’s (very) forceful mainstream culture, the genre is also fundamentally rebellious.  Remember: Danmei has little hope of converging with China’s mainstream unless it “sells its soul” and removes its homoerotic elements. 

With rebelliousness, too, comes a bit of tongue-in-cheek.

And so, when c-Danmei fans, most of whom being cishet women who interact with the genre by its traditional BL definition, call one of the leads 老婆 (wife), it can and often take on a different flavour. As said before, it can be less about feminizing the lead than about identifying with the lead. The nickname 老婆 (wife) can be less about being disrespectful and more about humorously expressing an aspiration—the aspiration to have a husband who truly loves them, who they do want to get married and have babies with but out of freedom and not obligation.

Admittedly, I had been confused, and bothered by these “can-be”s myself. Just because there are alternate reasons for the feminisation to happen doesn’t mean the feminisation itself is excusable. But why the feminisation of M/M leads doesn’t sound as awful to me in Chinese as in English? How can calling a self-identified man 老婆 (wife) get away with not sounding being predominantly disrespectful to my ears, when I would’ve frowned at the same thing said in my vicinity in English?

I had an old hypothesis: when I was little, it was common to hear people calling acquaintances in Chinese by their unflattering traits:  “Deaf-Eared Chan” (Mr Chan, who’s deaf), “Fat Old Woman Lan” (Ah-Lan, who’s an overweight woman) etc—and the acquaintances were perfectly at ease with such identifications, even introducing themselves to strangers that way. Comparatively speaking then, 老婆 (wife) is harmless, even endearing. 

老婆, which literally means “old old-lady” (implying wife = the woman one gets old with), first became popularised as a colloquial, casual way of calling “wife” in Hong Kong and its Cantonese dialect, despite the term itself being about 1,500 years old. As older generations of Chinese were usually very shy about talking about their love lives, those who couldn’t help themselves and regularly spoke of their 老婆 tended to be those who loved their wives in my memory. 老婆, as a term, probably became endearing to me that way. 

Maybe this is why the feminisation of M/M leads didn’t sound so bad to me?

This hypothesis was inadequate, however. This custom of identifying people by their (unflattering) traits has been diminishing in Hong Kong and China, for similar reasons it has been considered inappropriate in the West.

Also, 老婆 (wife) is not the only term used for / associated with feminisation. I’ve tried to limit the discussion to Danmei, the fictional genre; now, I’ll jump to its associated RPS genre, and specifically, the YiZhan fandoms. The purpose of this jump: with real people involved, feminisation’s effect is potentially more harmful, more acute. Easier to feel. 

YiZhan fans predominantly entered the fandoms through The Untamed, and they’ve also transferred Danmei’s  “seme”/“uke” customs into YiZhan. There are, therefore, three c-YiZhan fandoms:

博君一肖 (BJYX): seme Dd, uke Gg 戰山為王 (ZSWW): seme Gg, uke Dd 連瑣反��� (LSFY): riba Gg and Dd. Riba = “reversible”, and unlike “seme” and “uke”, is a frequently-used term in the Japanese gay community. 

BJYX is by far the largest of the three, likely due to Gg having played WWX, the “uke” in MDZS / TU. I’ll therefore focus on this fandom, ie. Gg is the “uke”, the “wife”.

For Gg alone, I’ve seen him being also referred to by YiZhan fans as (and this is far from a complete list):

* 姐姐 (sister) * 嫂子 (wife of elder brother; Dd being the elder brother implied) * 妃妃 (based on the very first YiZhan CP name, 太妃糖 Toffee Candy, a portmanteau of sorts from Dd being the 太子 “prince” of his management company and Gg being the prince’s wife, 太子妃. 糖 = “candy”. 太妃 sounds like toffee in English and has been used as the latter’s Chinese translation.) * 美人 (beauty, as in 肖美人 “Beauty Xiao”) * Daji 妲己 (as in 肖妲己, “Daji Xiao”). 

The last one needs historical context, which will also become important for explaining the new hypothesis I have.

Daji was a consort who lived three thousand years ago, whose beauty was blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. Gg (and men sharing similar traits, who are exceptionally rare) has been compared to Daji 妲己 for his alternatively innocent, alternatively seductive beauty ~ the kind of beauty that, in Chinese historical texts and folk lores, lead to the fall of kingdoms when possessed by the king’s beloved woman. This kind of “I-get-to-ruin-her-virginity”, “she’s a slut in MY bedroom” beauty is, of course, a stereotypical fantasy for many (cis-het) men, which included the authors of these historical texts and folklores. However, it also contained some truth: the purity / innocence, the image of a virgin, was required for an ancient woman to be chosen as a consort; the seduction, meanwhile, helped her to become the top consort, and monopolise the attention of kings and emperors who often had hundreds of wives ~ wives who often put each other in danger to eliminate competition. 

Nowadays, women of tremendous beauty are still referred to by the Chinese idiom 傾國傾城, literally, ”falling countries, falling cities”. The beauty is also implied to be natural, expressed in a can’t-help-itself way, perhaps reflecting the fact that the ancient beauties on which this idiom has been used couldn’t possibly have plastic surgeries, and most of them didn’t meet a good end ~ that they had to pay a price for their beauty, and often, with their lowly status as women, as consorts, they didn’t get to choose whether they wanted to pay this price or not. This adjective is considered to be very flattering. Gg’s famous smile from the Thailand Fanmeet has been described, praised as 傾城一笑: “a smile that topples a city”.

I’m explaining Daji and 傾國傾城 because the Chinese idiom 博君一笑 “doing anything to get a smile from you”, from which the ship’s name BJYX 博君一肖  was derived (笑 and 肖 are both pronounced “xiao”), is connected to yet another of such dynasty-falling beauty, Bao Si 褒姒. Like Daji before her, Bao Si was blamed for the end of the Zhou Dynasty in 771 BC. 

The legend went like this: Bao Si was melancholic, and to get her to smile, her king lit warning beacons and got his nobles to rush in from the nearby vassal states with their armies to come and rescue him, despite not being in actual danger. The nobles, in their haste, looked so frantic and dishevelled that Bao Si found it funny and smiled. Longing to see more of the smile of his favourite woman, the king would fool his nobles again and again, until his nobles no longer heeded the warning beacons when an actual rebellion came. 

What the king did has been described as 博紅顏一笑, with 紅顏 (”red/flushed face”) meaning a beautiful woman, referring to Bao Si. Replace 紅顏 with the respectful “you”, 君, we get 博君一笑. If one searches the origin of the phrase 博 [fill_in_the_blank]一笑 online, Bao Si’s story shows up.

The “anything” in ”doing anything to get a smile from you” in 博君一笑, therefore, is not any favour, but something as momentous as giving away one’s own kingdom. c-turtles have remarked, to their amusement and admittedly mine, that “king”, in Chinese, is written as 王, which is Dd’s surname, and very occasionally, they jokingly compare him to the hopeless kings who’d give away everything for their love. Much like 傾國傾城 has become a flattering idiom despite the negative reputations of Daji and Bao Si for their “men-ruining ways”, 博君一笑 has become a flattering phrase, emphasising on the devotion and love rather than the ... stupidity behind the smile-inducing acts. 

(Bao Si’s story, BTW, was a lie made up by historians who also lived later but also thousands of years ago, to absolve the uselessness of the king. Warning beacons didn’t exist at her time.)  

Gg is arguably feminized even in his CP’s name. Gg’s feminisation is everywhere. 

And here comes my confession time ~ I’ve been amused by most of the feminisation terms above. 肖妲己 (”Daji Xiao”) captures my imagination, and I remain quite partial to the CP name BJYX. Somehow, there’s something ... somewhat forgivable when the feminisation is based on Gg’s beauty, especially in the context of the historical Danmei / Dangai setting of MDZS/TU ~ something that, while doesn’t cancel, dampens the “problematic-ness” of the gender mis-identification.

What, exactly, is this something?

Here’s my new hypothesis, and hopefully I’ll manage to explain it well ~

The hypothesis is this: the unisex beauty standard for historical Chinese men and women, which is also breathtakingly similar to the modern beauty standard for Chinese women, makes feminisation in the context of Danmei (especially historical Danmei) flattering, and easier to accept.

What defined beauty in historical Chinese men? If I am to create a classically beautiful Chinese man for my new historical Danmei, how would I describe him based on what I’ve read, my cultural knowledge?

Here’s a list:

* Skin fair and smooth as white jade * Thin, even frail; narrow/slanted shoulders; tall * Dark irises and bright, starry eyes * Not too dense, neat eyebrows that are shaped like swords ~ pointed slightly upwards from the center towards the sides of the face * Depending on the dynasty, nice makeup.

Imagine these traits. How “macho” are they? How much do they fit the ideal Chinese masculine beauty advertised by Chinese government, which looks like below?

Propaganda poster, 1969. The caption says “Defeat Imperialist US! Defeat Social Imperialism!” The book’s name is “Quotations from Mao Zedong”. (Source)

Where did that list of traits I’ve written com from? Fair like jade, frail ... why are they so far from the ... “macho”ness of the men in the poster? 

What has Chinese history said about its beautiful men? 

Wei Jie (衛玠 286-312 BCE), one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men (古代四大美男) recorded in Chinese history famously passed away when fans of his beauty gathered and formed a wall around him, blocking his way. History recorded Wei as being frail with chronic illness, and was only 27 years old when he died. Arguably the first historical account of “crazy fans killing their idol”, this incident left the idiom 看殺衛玠 ~ “Wei Jie being watched to death.” ~ a not very “macho” way to die at all.

潘安 (Pan An; 247-300 BCE), another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, also had hoards of fangirls, who threw fruits and flowers at him whenever he ventured outside. The Chinese idiom 擲果盈車 “thrown fruit filling a cart” was based on Pan and ... his fandom, and denotes such scenarios of men being so beautiful that women openly displayed their affections for them. 

Meanwhile, when Pan went out with his equally beautiful male friend, 夏侯湛 Xiahou Zhan, folks around them called them 連璧 ~ two connected pieces of perfect jade. Chinese Jade is white, smooth, faintly glowing in light, so delicate that it gives the impression of being somewhat transparent.

Aren’t Wei Jie and Pan An reminiscent of modern day Chinese idols, the “effeminate” “Little Fresh Meat”s (小鲜肉) so panned by Article O3? Their stories, BTW, also elucidated the historical reference in LWJ’s description of being jade-like in MDZS, and in WWX and LWJ being thrown pippas along the Gusu river bank. 

Danmei, therefore, didn’t create a trend of androgynous beauty in men as much as it has borrowed the ancient, traditional definition of masculine Chinese beauty ~ the beauty that was more feminine than masculine by modern standards.  

[Perhaps, CPs should be renamed 連璧 (”two connected pieces of perfect jade”) as a reminder of the aesthetics’ historical roots.]

Someone may exclaim now: But. But!! Yet another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, 高長恭 (Gao Changgong, 541-573 BCE), far better known by his title, 蘭陵王 (”the Prince of Lanling”), was a famous general. He had to be “macho”, right?

... As it turns out, not at all. Historical texts have described Gao as “貌柔心壮，音容兼美” (”soft in looks and strong at heart, beautiful face and voice”), “白美類婦人” (”fair and beautiful as a woman”), “貌若婦人” (”face like a woman”). Legends have it that The Prince of Lanling’s beauty was so soft, so lacking in authority that he had to wear a savage mask to get his soldiers to listen to his command (and win) on the battlefield (《樂府雜錄》: 以其顏貌無威，每入陣即著面具，後乃百戰百勝).

This should be emphasised: Gao’s explicitly feminine descriptions were recorded in historical texts as arguments *for* his beauty. Authors of these texts, therefore, didn’t view the feminisation as insult. In fact, they used the feminisation to drive the point home, to convince their readers that men like the Prince of Lanling were truly, absolutely good looking.

Being beautiful like a women was therefore high praise for men in, at least, significant periods in Chinese history ~ periods long and important enough for these records to survive until today. Beauty, and so it goes, had once been largely free of distinctions between the masculine and feminine.

One more example of an image of an ancient Chinese male beauty being similar to its female counterpart, because the history nerd in me finds this fun. 

何晏 (He Yan, ?-249 BCE) lived in the Wei Jin era (between 2nd to 4th century), during which makeup was really en vogue. Known for his beauty, he was also famous for his love of grooming himself. The emperor, convinced that He Yan’s very fair skin was from the powder he was wearing, gave He Yan some very hot foods to eat in the middle of the summer. He Yan began to sweat, had to wipe himself with his sleeves and in the process, revealed to the emperor that his fair beauty was 100% natural ~ his skin glowed even more with the cosmetics removed (《世說新語·容止第十四》: 何平叔美姿儀，面至白。魏明帝疑其傅粉，正夏月，與熱湯餅。既啖，大汗出，以朱衣自拭，色轉皎然). His kick-cosmetics’-ass fairness won him the nickname 傅粉何郎 (”powder-wearing Mr He”).

Not only would He Yan very likely be mistaken as a woman if this scene is transferred to a modern setting, but this scene can very well fit inside a Danmei story of the 21st century and is very, very likely to get axed by the Chinese censorship board for its visualisation. 

[Important observation from this anecdote: the emperor was totally into this trend too.]

The adjectives and phrases used above to describe these beautiful ancient Chinese men ~ 貌柔, 音容兼美, 白美, 美姿儀, 皎然 ~ have all become pretty much reserved for describing beauty in women nowadays. Beauty standards in ancient China were, as mentioned before, had gone through significantly long periods in which they were largely genderless. The character for beauty 美 (also in Danmei, 耽美) used to have little to no gender association. Free of gender associations as well were the names of many flowers. The characters for orchid (蘭) and lotus (蓮), for example, were commonly found in men’s names as late as the Republican era (early 20th century), but are now almost exclusively found in women’s names. Both orchid and lotus have historically been used to indicate 君子 (junzi, roughly, “gentlemen”), which have always been men. MDZS also has an example of a man named after a flower: Jin Ling’s courtesy name, given to him by WWX,  was 如蘭 (”like an orchid”). 

A related question may be this: why does ancient China associate beauty with fairness, with softness, with frailty? Likely, because Confucianist philosophy and customs put a heavy emphasis on scholarship ~ and scholars have mostly consisted of soft-spoken, not muscular, not working-under-the-sun type of men. More importantly, Confucianist scholars also occupied powerful government positions. Being, and looking like a Confucianist scholar was therefore associated with status. Indeed, it’s very difficult to look like jade when one was a farmer or a soldier, for example, who constantly had to toil under the sun, whose skin was constantly being dried and roughened by the elements. Having what are viewed as “macho” beauty traits as in the poster above ~ tanned skin, bulging muscles, bony structures (which also take away the jade’s smoothness) ~ were associated with hard labour, poverty and famine.

Along that line, 手無縛��之力 (“hands without the strength to restrain a chicken”) has long been a phrase used to describe ancient scholars and students, and without scorn or derision. Love stories of old, which often centred around scholars were, accordingly, largely devoid of the plot lines of husbands physically protecting the wives, performing the equivalent of climbing up castle walls and fighting dragons etc. Instead, the faithful husbands wrote poems, combed their wife’s hair, traced their wife’s eyebrows with cosmetics (畫眉)...all activities that didn’t require much physical strength, and many of which are considered “feminine” nowadays.

Were there periods in Chinese history in which more ... sporty men and women were appreciated? Yes. the Tang dynasty, for example, and the Yuan and Qing dynasties. The Tang dynasty, as a very powerful, very open era in Chinese history, was known for its relations to the West (via the Silk Road). The Yuan and Qing dynasties, meanwhile, were established by Mongolians and Manchus respectively, who, as non-Han people, had not been under the influence of Confucian culture and grew up on horsebacks, rather than in schools.

The idea that beautiful Chinese men should have “macho” attributes was, therefore, largely a consequence of non-Han-Chinese influence, especially after early 20th century. That was when the characters for beauty (美), orchid (蘭), lotus (蓮) etc began their ... feminisation. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which started its reign of the country starting 1949, also has foreign roots, being a derivative of the Soviets, and its portrayal of ideal men has been based on the party’s ideology, painting them as members of the People’s Liberation Army (Chinese army) and its two major proletariat classes, farmers and industrial workers ~ all occupations that are “macho” in their aesthetics, but held at very poor esteem in ancient Chinese societies. All occupations that, to this day, may be hailed as noble by Chinese women, but not really deemed attractive by them.

Beauty, being an instinct, is perhaps much more resistant to propaganda.

If anything, the three terms Article O3 used to describe “effeminate” men ~ 奶油小生 “cream young men” (popularised in 1980s) , 花美男 “flowery beautiful men” (early 2000s), 小鲜肉 “little fresh meat” (coined in 2014 and still popular now) ~ only informs me how incredibly consistent the modern Chinese women’s view of ideal male beauty has been. It’s the same beauty the Chinese Communist Party has called feminine. It’s the same beauty found in Danmei. It’s the same beauty that, when witnessed in men in ancient China, was so revered that historians recorded it for their descendants to remember. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any women who appreciate the "macho” type ~ it’s just that, the appreciation for the non-macho type has never really gone out of fashion, never really changed. The only thing that is really changing is the name of the type, the name’s positive or negative connotations.

(Personally, I’m far more uncomfortable with the name “Little fresh meat” (小鲜肉) than 老婆 (wife). I find it much more insulting.)

Anyway, what I’d like to say is this: feminisation in Danmei ~ a genre that, by definition, is hyper-focused on aesthetics ~ may not be as "problematic” in Chinese as it is in English, because the Chinese tradition didn’t make that much of a differentiation between masculine and feminine beauty. Once again, this isn’t to say such mis-gendering isn’t disrespectful; it’s just that, perhaps, it is less disrespectful because Chinese still retains a cultural memory in which equating a beautiful man to a beautiful woman was the utmost flattery. 

I must put a disclaimer here: I cannot vouch for this being true for the general Chinese population. This is something that is buried deep enough inside me that it took a lot of thought for me to tease out, to articulate. More importantly, while I grow up in a Chinese-speaking environment, I’ve never lived inside China. My history knowledge, while isn’t shabby, hasn’t been filtered through the state education system.

I’d also like to point out as well, along this line of thought, that in *certain* (definitely not all) aspects, Chinese society isn’t as sexist as the West. While historically, China has periods of extreme sexism against women, with the final dynasties of Ming and Qing being examples, I must (reluctantly) acknowledge Chairman Mao for significantly lifting the status of women during his rule. Here’s a famous quote of his from 1955:

婦女能頂半邊天 Women can lift half the skies

The first marriage code, passed in 1950, outlawed forced marriages, polygamy, and ensured equal rights between husband and wife.  For the first time in centuries, women were encouraged to go outside of their homes and work. Men resisted at first, wanting to keep their wives at home; women who did work were judged poorly for their performance and given less than 50% of men’s wage, which further fuelled the men’s resistance. Mao said the above quote after a commune in Guizhou introduced the “same-work-same-wage” system to increase its productivity, and he asked for the same system to to be replicated across the country. (Source)

When Chairman Mao wanted something, it happened. Today, Chinese women’s contribution to the country’s GDP remains among the highest in the world.  They make up more than half of the country’s top-scoring students. They’re the dominant gender in universities, in the ranks of local employees of international corporations in the Shanghai and Beijing central business districts—among the most sought after jobs in the country. While the inequality between men and women in the workplace is no where near wiped out — stories about women having to sleep with higher-ups to climb the career ladder, or even get their PhDs are not unheard of, and the central rulership of the Chinese Communist Party has been famously short of women — the leap in women’s rights has been significant over the past century, perhaps because of how little rights there had been before ~ at the start of the 20th century, most Chinese women from relatively well-to-do families still practised foot-binding, in which their feet were literally crushed during childhood in the name of beauty, of status symbol. They couldn’t even walk properly.

Perhaps, the contemporary Chinese women’s economic contribution makes the sexism they encounter in their lives, from the lack of reproductive rights to the “leftover women” label, even harder to swallow. It makes their fantasies fly to even higher, more defiant heights. The popularity of Dangai right now is pretty much driven by women, as acknowledged by Article O3. Young women, especially, female fans who people have dismissed as “immature”, “crazy”, are responsible for the threat the Chinese government is feeling now by the genre.

This is no small feat. While the Chinese government complains about the “effeminate” men from Danmei / Dangai, its propaganda has been heavily reliant on stars who have risen to popularity to these genres. The film Dd is currently shooting, Chinese Peacekeeping Force (維和部隊), also stars Huang Jingyu (黄景瑜), and Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) ~ the three actors having shot to fame from The Untamed (Dangai), Addicted (Danmei), and Word of Honour (Dangai) respectively.  Zhang, in particular, played the “uke” role in Word of Honour and has also been called 老婆 (wife) by his fans. The quote in Article O3, “Ten years as a tough man known by none; one day as a beauty known by all” was also implicitly referring to him.

Perhaps, the government will eventually realise that millennia-old standards of beauty are difficult to bend, and by extension, what is considered appropriate gender expression of Chinese men and women. 

In the metas I’ve posted, therefore, I’ve hesitated in using terms such as homophobia, sexism, and ageism etc, opting instead to make long-winded explanations that essentially amount to these terms (thank you everyone who’s reading for your patience!). Because while the consequence is similar—certain fraction of the populations are subjected to systemic discrimination, abuse, given less rights, treated as inferior etc—these words, in English, also come with their own context, their own assumptions that may not apply to the situation. It reminds me of what Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina,

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Discrimination in each country, each culture is humiliating, unhappy in its own way. Both sexism and homophobia are rampant in China, but as their roots are different from those of the West, the ways they manifest are different, and so must the paths to their dissolution. I’ve also hesitated on calling out individual behaviours or confronting individuals for this reason. i-Danmei fandoms are where i-fans and c-fans meet, where English-speaking doesn’t guarantee a non-Chinese sociopolitical background (there may be students from China, for example; I’m also ... not entirely Western), and I find it difficult to articulate appropriate, convincing arguments without knowing individual backgrounds.

Frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing. Because I do hope feminisation will soon fade into extinction, especially in i-Danmei fandoms that, if they continue to prosper on international platforms, may eventually split from c-Danmei fandoms along the cultural (not language) line due to the vast differences in environmental constraints. My hope is especially true when real people are involved, and c-fandoms, I’d like to note, are not unaware of the issues surrounding feminisation ~ it has already been explicitly forbidden in BJYX’s supertopic on Weibo. 

At the same time, I’ve spent so many words above to try to explain why beauty can *sometimes* lurk behind such feminisations. Please allow me to end this post with one example of feminisation that I deeply dislike—and I’ve seen it used by fans on Gg as well—is 綠茶 (”green tea”), from 綠茶婊 (”green tea whore”) that means women who look pure / innocent but are, deep down, promiscuous / lustful. In some ways, its meaning isn’t so different from Daji 妲己, the consort blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. However, to me at least, the flattery in the feminisation is gone, perhaps because of the character “whore” (婊), because the term originated in 2013 from a notorious sex party rather than from a legendary beauty so maligned that The Investiture of the Gods (封神演義), the seminal Chinese fiction written ~2,600 years after Daji’s death, re-imagined her as a malevolent fox spirit (狐狸精) that many still remembers her as today.

Ah, to be caught between two cultures. :)

[topsyturvy-turtely]

RESULTS IN NUMBERS:

(assuming nobody hit the wrong option, which is not the case btw)

1.241 people participated in this poll.

the first option was with 86,9% by far the most voted on, which means that 1.078 LGBTQIA+ people have at least once in their life felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted.

109 LGBTQIA+ people voted NO, they have never felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted. (8,8%).

15 cishet* people voted YES, they have felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted. (1,2%).

and 39 cishet* people voted NO, they have never felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted. (3,1%).

now. this poll mainly represents people of the LGBTQIA+ community. what if we compare them to the cishet* people?

let's devide cishet* and LGBTQIA+ people and look at the percentages then.

the percentages of solely LGBTQIA+ people are:

90,8% voted YES, they have felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted.

9,2% voted NO, they have never felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted.

the percentages of solely cishet* people are:

27,8% voted YES, they have felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted.

72,2% voted NO, they have never felt like their sexuality and/or gender was not accepted.

the point i am trying to make is:

people of the LGBTQIA+ community are not only at a significantly higher risk but oftentimes truly are not accepted because of their sexuality and/or gender.

and - to the cishet* people out there who voted for "YES" - while i am very sorry you ever felt this way, please consider why that was. it is likely that this can be led back to the queerphobia (homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, acephobia etc.) people of the LGBTQIA+ community had to face in the first place. please remember that

✨empowering a minority does not weaken a majority✨

--------

*cishet = cisgender (your gender aligns with the sex you were assigned with at birth) and heterosexual (you are attracted to exclusively the opposite sex). but here i mean everyone who is NOT part of the LGBTQIA+ community in any way.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

trying to prove a point here. please reblog if you vote!

please put in the tags what you identify with and - if you feel comfortable with it - why you felt not accepted.

love and hugs from me! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[kitkatopinions]

honestly in my personal opinion, the weirdness around crwby's handling of queer characters comes back to their core sentiment of "queer people have to earn their rep," which was said by monty iirc. which is just an incredibly outdated & homophobic opinion anyways because like you pointed out in your ask, the heteronormative relationships didn't have to earn their existence. characters are assumed cishet by default, they're seen as the Standard & therefore don't have to earn their place.

queer characters & queer romances go against that heteronormative standard & have to be "earned" in the eyes of mostly cishet creators. kiersi is queer but well, she's not a point in the right direction for mkek considering her writing of nonbinary & asexual people.

it's even more disappointing to see this parroted by queer people in the fndm, that mkek are right, that we have to wait when ... why? cishets didn't have to wait for three separate heteronormative relationships in tandem.

Hey, sorry this has taken me so long to answer. My blood has been boiling over 'queer people have to earn their rep.' What a homophobic sentiment... and honestly, that really makes me think that Bumbleby was not planned from the beginning. Which of course isn't to say that MK was wrong to go with BB, but it's certainly annoying that people involved in the project are claiming it's been planned when the creator of the show was of the belief that 'queer rep has to be earned.'

Like... How? Someone please tell me how LGBTQ+ people can earn representation in media when I can't think of very many pieces of media (especially popular media) that doesn't display at least one opposite-sex relationship. I just looked through the collection of movies myself and my sisters have on our shelves, and outside of a couple of movies I don't know, every movie on our shelf but two depict opposite sex relationships (the two that don't btw are Bolt and Kung Fu Panda 1, which both include single parents, but no depiction of romantic relationships at all iirc.) I defy anyone to list one cartoon Disney movie that doesn't include a straight ship (even if it's just married parents.) How are queer people supposed to earn their fucking representation? Why are queer people thrown scraps and then told to shut up and stop complaining?

There's explicit bias in company's even like RT, who depict same-sex people, but always do it in comfortable ways or always in only small ways or always in hints. It's still homophobia, especially when it's very clear that their lack of inclusion isn't about the media just not being about any sort of romance (like Bolt or Kung Fu Panda 1 could say,) because they have relationships featured, just never LGBTQ+ relationships. RT has no problems forcing a love triangle between Jaune, Weiss, and Neptune despite none of that being believable or developed. RT has no problem introducing Sun with romantic theming for him and Blake, having them go on an explicit date, having Pyrrha in love with Jaune for who knows what reason and kissing him right before a tense fight scene to further the plot and freaking dying. RT has no problem with having 'boyfriend meets girlfriend's over protective and unnecessarily rude dad' esque jokes shoehorned into volumes 4 and 5 when it comes to Sun and Blake, or having Nora and Ren kiss in the middle of a high-stakes political rally right before a bunch of murders happen. RT has no problems making Ironwood flirt with Glynda in his first introduction, making Qrow talk about "the size of the waitress's skirt length" in like, his third scene, making Roman flirt with Cinder, making even characters like Penny and Ruby who have story plots that have nothing to do with romance or relationships talk about 'cute boys' at least once. Straight people get rep at every single turn, and yet gay people have to earn even an acknowledgement, even a passing comment.

What it is to me, really, is 'queer people have to prove we can get a profit out of their rep.' That's all I'm hearing. 'We're not ever going to do this because it's the right thing to do, we'll only do it if the pros of the money we can squeeze out of you outweigh the marketing risk of alienating homophobes who will turn off our show.' 'We'll only depict what we know is still comfortable to the casually homophobic viewers who are fine with a dash of gay here and there to appease people without 'forcing it down their throats,' or who are comfortable with seeing gay girls since that's been fetishized for straight men, but wouldn't be comfortable seeing gay men because they consider it a threat to their masculinity.' That's what I'm hearing.

It makes it even more annoying when I see fans talking about 'we should be grateful for the beautiful rep RT has given us.' NO THANKS. I'm not going to be grateful for the fact that MKEK are trying to queerbait me and other LGBTQ+ people into shutting up about the 'bmblb' song and Clover's death by trying to make us buy their fucking jackets and convincing us that Blake and Yang are already confirmed. I'm so sorry to get so heated over this. XD I'd thought I was calm, but this 'earn your rep' thing has gotten me so steamed. When have straight people ever been asked for the same? There are content creators fighting tooth and nail to be able to depict same sex relationships in their shows on bigger networks, and it really seems so very brazen of MKEK to still be holding back on confirming Blake and Yang and trying to convince us they're still champions of the LGBTQ+ community and our friends, and are selling pride merch with our favorite *non-confirmed* girls on it.

Adding onto that, the only rep we've officially gotten is girls. Ilia, Saffron and Terra, and May. And then heavily hinted Blake and Yang. The closest we've gotten for representation for men is Clover (a wink, a couple lingering looks, tweets suggesting he and Qrow will be together, only for him to be murdered,) and this picture.

This freaking nothing picture of two nameless guys with a heart shaped plant in the background of one shot in Mistral. Like, don't get me wrong, I'd like to know more about this unfashionable couple, and I'd like to know if one of them has a semblance that lets them control plants or if the heart-plant is decorative and was a gift from Sandy Hair over there... But my point is, no one should have to latch onto two rando background nameless punks and their fucking plant to be able to see themselves in media. This isn't representation for men in the LGBTQ+ community. It's honestly just tiring. I don't think I'm asking for too much to say that if companies are going to advertise 'pride,' that they commit to actually representing queer people and not just through the lens of what's comfortable to their homophobic or heteronormative audience members. May was a step in the right direction and I know that there are a lot of trans people who felt really validated seeing her in action and as a more important character during this last arc, and that the way that MKEK handled the in-universe confirmation of her being trans was respectful and well done. That's great. But it's 2021, if they're going to post 'pride merch' and claim to be for us and that they're trying to be inclusive, they need to stop queerbaiting Blake and Yang, and they also need to step out of the comfort zone of only portraying women on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Male LGBTQ+ and non-binary and genderfluid people ought to be able to get representation too.

[rotationalsymmetry]

The term “able bodied” rather than abled has the same relationship to people with non-physical disabilities as “cishet” has to aces.

In that as far as I can tell most people who use the term aren’t trying to be exclusionary on purpose. But widespread assumptions about what disability and what queerness is give a whole lot of cover to the minority of exclusionists, make it look to themselves and others like more people agree with them than actually do.

And this is a separate issue from invisibility, btw. A gender conforming gay person who’s single is invisible, my physical illness is invisible, there are non-physical disabilities that are impossible to miss, and there are queer people who aren’t “normal” queers who are impossible to mistake for “normal” straight.

Anyways I’m not necessarily saying that it’s important to not use “cishet”, I don’t really have a good alternative since adding more words (“allociset” or “peri etc”) gets pretty clunky pretty fast, and going in the other direction you can understand “straight” to mean the opposite of queer but a lot of people understand it to mean “heterosexual”, and there are queer heterosexuals. I do think abled is preferable to able-bodied unless it’s really relevant to distinguish between types of disabilities, and even then it’s dicey because people tend to distinguish to create a hierarchy where physical disabilities are more disability. Which, I mean, I didn’t spend all my middle school years hearing the most unpopular kids constantly get called the r-word to concede that ableism against people with physical disabilities is more severe or harmful than ableism against people with non-physical disabilities. In as much as that distinction is even a meaningful one.