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heretichromia · 3 months

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Exploring the Relationship Dynamics Between the Abyssal Hunters

I had a few people either misinterpret or express confusion regarding this post that I made, so I want to make a different post covering the same (and more) material that's more rooted in explicit textual evidence which doesn't use emotionally-charged language. I'm going to try my best to stay neutral here and discuss multiple possible interpretations.

In short, I want to break down all that we know regarding the nature of the relationships shared by the four* Abyssal Hunters. In long, see below. And...I mean long, it's 5,000 words.

*Abyssal Hunters as a faction of Ægir; sorry, Andreana. Note: Minor Path of Life (CN) spoilers below. None of the major events are spoiled, but I do talk about a lot of the context that the event gives us on Ægir society and the backstories of the Hunters.

What we know from the text:

I'll keep this segment as objective as possible, and only state things that I can directly argue as nearly indisputable from textual evidence. Some interpretation work is going to have to be done here, however, and I'm open to anyone who disagrees with anything here pointing out the passages in the text that contradict my assertions.

Ages:

This is a subject the community as a whole is widely misinformed about, so I'm highlighting it separately.

We know from Path of Life that the expected lifespan of an Ægir is around 150 years.

Gladiia is likely in her late 30s. She has 17 years of combat experience, which we're led to believe began relatively shortly after she received independence from her abusive, neglectful, and controlling mother. She was appointed as Consul of Technology before becoming an Abyssal Hunter, though her module description characterizes her as having been unable to decide the trajectory of her life, which implies to me that she was not free of her mother for very long before the operation. We don't have reason to believe Ægir uses child soldiers nor appoints children to be Technology Consuls, so this places her minimum age at around 35 and her likely age as a little older than that. She was still characterized as a young Consul ten years after her appointment, so I don't believe she'd be much older. Late 30s is my best approximation; much older than that, and things begin making less sense regarding the multiple parental figures still present in her life.

Skadi is likely also in her 30s, though the actual bounds are wider than Gladiia's. She has 13 years of combat experience, making her 31 at the youngest. However, from Path of Life we know that she was the most skilled technician in her division prior to becoming an Abyssal Hunter. This means she probably had at least a few, if not several years of work experience out of the Academy. If she's younger than Gladiia, it's likely not by many years, and she could even be conceivably older than her. I think she's probably a small handful of years younger, if you had to ask me my personal interpretation.

Laurentina is the youngest of the Abyssal Hunters. She has seven years of combat experience, implying that she joined a decade after Gladiia. This places her minimum age at 25. We can imagine she's probably not too much older than that, since she never fully embraced a career as a sculptor before changing circumstances caused her to apply for the Abyssal Hunters. She's probably in her mid-to-late 20s.

Ulpianus is the oldest, and potentially by a considerable margin. He was the first Abyssal Hunter, becoming one twenty years ago, as well as one of the scientists who created the Abyssal Hunters to begin with. He was already one of the most preeminent scientific minds of Ægir by this point. Since Ægir can live to 150, this means the upper bound on his age is potentially very high. This man could conceivably be in his 80s or older without it breaking anything we know about the story. The lower bound of his age is probably somewhere in his late 40s at an absolute minimum, assuming that the Ægirian process for becoming an accomplished scientist is anywhere remotely similar to the real-world one. It's completely up to speculation where his actual age falls between those bounds.

Connections between the Hunters:

An important note to make here that isn't precisely a connection, but does inform them: Ægir as a society does not have a compulsion towards nuclear family structures. In fact, the opposite is true. From Path of Life, we know that Ægir are usually raised in groups in dedicated schools. Ægir seems to prioritize careers over interpersonal relationships, and direct blood family ties are much weaker. Ægirian women don't give birth to their children directly; the embryos are surgically removed and then grown separately.

Laurentina's close relationship with her biological parents was noted as being somewhat atypical, and they still didn't raise her themselves. Instead, they allowed childcare services to raise her while frequently taking her with them on their trips when they could. Gladiia's upbringing, where she was isolated by an abusive and neglectful mother, is also atypical. From her conversation with Clemenza, we learn that she was in fact strongly suggested to give up Gladiia to childcare services, but refused to do so.

Onto the actual connections:

Gladiia met Ulpianus in the earlier years of the Abyssal Hunter project, when she was a young, emotionally vulnerable woman who was actively seeking new familial connections (see: her module). Given how well Ulpianus understands the other Hunters (implied in Stultifera Navis and displayed in Path of Life), it's very unlikely that he wasn't aware of this. Ulpianus declined his student Underflow's application to the Abyssal Hunters because he didn't want her to become like him. It's likely, then, that he personally processed Gladiia's entry into the Abyssal Hunters.

We know from Specter the Unchained's module that the two of them spoke at least somewhat often, discussing subjects like philosophy. In the one conversation we see, Ulpianus is explaining to Gladiia his concerns about the direction Ægir is heading in these "protracted days of calamity," and she seems to either agree with or absorb his pontification. He certainly takes the lead in this conversation with the "young Consul," and while a mentorship role can be inferred from this, it's not directly stated anywhere.

From Gladiia's IS3 ending, we know that Ulpianus never directly indicated to her that he felt any connection between them, nor did he bring up concepts like seniority around her. However, his actual feelings concerning her were clearly more sentimental than he let on, as he unexpectedly sacrificed his life for the sake of his "junior." Gladiia hadn't realized he was so sentimental until it happened, but in retrospect she looked back upon it warmly, realizing she never truly understood Ulpianus.

We have fewer interactions between Ulpianus and Skadi than we do between Ulpianus and Gladiia, but we can infer something of a dynamic from what we do have. Ulpianus trusted Skadi implicitly. From Path of Life, we know that he treated her differently from the other Hunters in his company. Ulpianus was a brilliant tactician who gave complex plans to each of his soldiers, but when he got to Skadi—who frequently spaces out when listening to others, and by her own admission in the event doesn't like to think—he merely told her that he trusted her to carry out her duty. He understood her, and didn't belittle her for her weaknesses. He had faith in her, and was right to do so; Skadi completed every mission exceptionally.

In the Second Company, meanwhile, Gladiia and Laurentina clearly had a closer relationship than just their positions would imply. Gladiia considered herself Laurentina's teacher, instructing her not only in the art of war but also in life skills. Their first lesson was not in violence, but in dance (Specter the Unchained OpRec). Whereas Laurentina is now frequently associated with her dancing, not just in narrative framing but actively by Ulpianus in Path of Life, she had barely danced much at all prior to her dances with Gladiia.

Already by the time of her aforementioned conversation with Ulpianus, Gladiia had developed a fondness for her subordinate. She even smiled when she spoke of her glowingly, something she almost never does. Gladiia, as critical as she is of almost everyone, can hardly find fault with Laurentina. From the aforementioned OpRec, we see that even Laurentina expects her to lecture her more than she does. Frequently, when confronted with her peculiarities and the choices she makes, Gladiia will approve of them warmly. The OpRec also has a wonderful passage of them just talking and spending time with one-another. It's very warm and gives a lot of small insights to their relationship and their relationship with the arts (a subject they're both very attached to) that I can't really explain effectively here without exploding the already extremely high word count. I'd recommend reading it if you haven't already.

In short, though, the relationship between Gladiia and Laurentina is very warm despite Gladiia's frequent brusqueness and coldness. In Ægir, they would see plays together—but because of Gladiia's insistence upon minimizing distractions while experiencing art, would sit apart. In Specter's post-Under Tides OpRec, Laurentina had to practically beg Gladiia before she showed her any more warmth than would be warranted to any other subordinate, as Gladiia kept her emotions tightly to her chest. Laurentina's emotional intelligence and close bond with her allows her to see through Gladiia's practiced emotionless exterior. Like Ulpianus, she understands Gladiia well enough to see through the strong facade she fronts to get glimpses into the deep well of anxiety beneath. In Laurentina's story in IS3, their bond is described as so close that she doesn't need to speak with Gladiia to understand her. She continued to dance with her as their primary method of silent communication for months after Gladiia had ceased speaking because of how much she hated how the Seaborn assimilation had changed her voice.

Of course, Laurentina and Skadi also share a deep bond, which is probably the most well-known one. Though how well they knew each other prior to the attack on Ishar'mla is still somewhat unclear—though it's clear from multiple sources (e.g. Specter OpRec, Path of Life, etc.) they weren't strangers—the important bulk of their relationship concerns their time spent together at Rhodes Island on land. Tortured by the Church of the Deep's horrific experiments and driven insane by the originium that Bishop Amaia injected into her spinal column, Laurentina was in an almost unrecognizable state when she was reunited with Skadi (Specter OpRec). She'd developed a second personality called Specter as a result of her experiences, one that was fully unfamiliar to Skadi, and the real Laurentina seemed to be locked away inside her own mind, in endless sleep, unable to awaken.

Skadi took care of Laurentina. She was not easy to care for. Beyond just requiring intensive care to keep her alive, Specter was mentally unstable. She would be unable to leave her treatment room for long stretches of time, and if the way she spoke to Skadi during her OpRec once she'd 'fallen asleep' again is any indication, some of the things she'd say to Skadi were truly vile. To continually bear this cannot have been an easy burden to shoulder, but Skadi would nonetheless come into her room constantly, sing songs to her, and tell her stories. Laurentina heard it all, though she couldn't speak. Though she teased her for it mercilessly when she awoke after Under Tides, she expressed legitimate gratitude to Skadi for all she'd done taking care of her.

If their bond was not intensely close before, it is now. Laurentina, now awake, teaches Skadi to dance in Unchained's OpRec, just as Gladiia taught her before. Just as she can see through Gladiia's facades, Laurentina understands Skadi enough to be able to see through hers to the genuine, warm, and caring person she is. Skadi, meanwhile, goes to great lengths to make sure Laurentina is okay. She cared more about her wellbeing than she did about obediently listening to the orders of her superiors; when Gladiia came to take Specter from Rhodes Island, she protested, and followed Gladiia to Sal Viento to take her back.

Skadi and Gladiia do not have nearly as warm a history. Both are rather emotionally unintelligent and wear masks of indifference around each other. That isn't to say they don't care about each other, though; if anything, we have plenty of evidence to the contrary. Gladiia did not hesitate for a moment about risking death for Skadi's sake in Under Tides, feeling a duty to protect her from both the First to Talk and the monster that dwells inside her head. They share a bond of camaraderie that's constantly reinforced in every event.

In Stultifera Navis and its supplemental material, we got more inklings of the development of a deeper relationship between them, though it's naturally strained because of their natures. Skadi, who always calls Gladiia "Second Captain," accidentally called her Gladiia in SN—to which Gladiia brusquely remarked that she was getting rather comfortable around her. She corrected her mistake and hasn't made it since. In the oft-mentioned now Specter the Unchained OpRec, when Laurentina teaches Skadi how to dance she remarks that Gladiia would like to dance with her. Skadi brushes this off as a mean-spirited joke, but it's much more likely that Laurentina knows they both feel an unspoken fondness for the other and is steadily poking at them to share it with the other.

Lastly, and certainly least, we have Laurentina and Ulpianus. There's...almost nothing here. We know that they're not strangers, and from Path of Life we know that Ulpianus at least understands Laurentina well enough as an individual, but as far as I'm aware there's not much to suggest what sort of relationship they may have had beyond just comrades, if any. Ulpianus seemed to become disinterested in continuing his conversation with Gladiia once she started gushing about Laurentina, but that's more likely a case of him being averse to talks about feelings in general than it is any distaste for Shark herself.

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Possible interpretations:

From this, we have a pretty good idea of the general shape of how these dynamics work. There's a lot of room to talk about the intricacies of their relationships, and I...can't cover every single possibility here.

I'd love to. If you ask me, I can keep yapping. I didn't write all of this because of some solemn dedication to archiving these fictional fish. Please, litter my inbox if you have questions. I can yap endlessly.

Instead, I'll focus on some of the predominant interpretations that I've seen across discussions and fanworks. Namely, the idea of the Abyssal Hunters as a family and the idea of some of the Abyssal Hunters as romantic partners.

I'll be covering interpretations that are both supported and not supported by the text to varying degrees. I'm going to outline how well I believe the text supports these interpretations, which is obviously going to be subjective, but I'm going to try to keep my own personal bias out of it. I have my own preferences, but I will be as neutral as I can be here.

The Family Angle

The Abyssal Hunters are a found family. That's not so much subtext as it is text—again, see Gladiia's module about how she failed to find the warmth and belonging she sought from her biological family, and instead searched for a new family. They have dynamics between them that are clearly at least meant to mirror existing family dynamics.

But a found family is not the same thing as a biological family. It does not necessarily feature the same dynamics as you'd find between actual family members. The "family angle" is the interpretation that the relationship between all of them is in fact completely familial in nature. While found families do not preclude romantic and sexual relationships between their members, a familial relationship between these characters implies that their bond is strong in a way that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature.

This, in itself, is neither confirmed nor denied by the text. It's consistent with what we're shown, and is perhaps one of the more 'pure' interpretations of these relationships—in the sense that it doesn't read more into the characters than the information presented. The Abyssal Hunters are characterized in expressly familial terms, and so this interpretation says that this is the extent of their dynamics. For clarity, it is neither more nor less correct than other interpretations for this, and is not personally my own. If there's anything limiting this interpretation, it's that Ægirians don't have nuclear family ties in the same way that we do, but that doesn't in my view contradict a familial interpretation as much as it modifies how it's perceived by the characters.

There are, of course, a lot of different ways you can approach the family angle. I'll outline some of the more sensible ones that can be concluded from the text.

One of the more common interpretations is that of the three female hunters as siblings. Again, there's no real confirmation of this in the text—only sentiments that the bond between them is thicker than blood—but there's nothing in the text which contradicts this. They certainly could play into typical sibling dynamics fairly well, with Gladiia as the serious, beleaguered older sister who whips the younger siblings into shape, and Laurentina as the brattiest child of the family who's nonetheless more emotionally intelligent than her stubborn sisters. It's one I see a lot, and I don't really see an issue with it.

Another common interpretation is that there exists something mirroring a parent/daughter relationship between the Captains and their subordinates: Ulpianus/Skadi, and Gladiia/Laurentina. From what's been outlined above, there's definitely food for this sort of interpretation in the text. Gladiia, for instance, is definitely motherly towards Laurentina. I do not believe this is a coincidence; as someone who was failed by her mother in horrendous ways, she's taken on a motherly role towards those she cares for and whom she believes she has a responsibility for. I think this, in itself, is a fine interpretation.

I think it gets much weaker when it's taken a step further into a literal parent/daughter relationship between them. These are adult women. At most, the age gap between Gladiia and Laurentina is a little over a decade, and they were adults when they met. She might feel a motherly responsibility for this woman, but I do not believe she'd consider a fully adult woman only around a decade her junior to be her daughter. Friendships between people in their mid-20s and mid-30s happen all the time in the real world. They are not, by any stretch of the imagination, anything like real parent-child relationships. The age gap between Ulpianus and Skadi is likely wider, and thus it's more reasonable that Ulpianus would see someone Skadi's age that he met in her 20s as someone who could have been his daughter. Even in that case, their dynamic would be heavily qualified by the fact that he has always known Skadi as a fully adult woman.

One similar possible dynamic that I almost never see is the idea of Ulpianus as a father for Gladiia. They're of similar ages, and if he saw Skadi as someone who could have been his daughter, he surely see Gladiia as the same. Gladiia, as well, desperately needed a parental figure in her life and never got one. They clearly have a senior/junior, possibly mentor/student relationship in the text, even if neither of them explicitly acknowledge it as one. This is the logical next step, which many have taken for the other plausible parent/daughter relationships, but I never see this one.

The Romance Angle

People like shipping. I'm people, too. I like shipping. It's pretty natural that, when it comes to characters we like that have close relationships like this, there's going to be people who are primarily invested in slapping two or more of them together like Barbies. Some of these relationship dynamics are more plausible than others.

Here's where some of the objectivity might break down. I'll try my best to limit my personal bias, but it's extremely hard to speak objectively about topics that are so obviously subject to personal interpretation.

First, I'd like to emphasize that Ægirian social dynamics, likely including romance, are alien to us. The likelihood that these characters would feel exactly the same about romance as we do in a predominantly monogamous society structured around nuclear families with a marriage at the core is...very low. Ægir and the nations of land are fundamentally different in ways that make understanding one-another difficult. Listen to some of Specter the Unchained's voicelines expressing her frustration about how she doesn't have the means to convey to the Doctor everything she'd like to. While we can (and should if we'd like to) have fun with applying our concepts of romance to them, we should always keep in mind that they might not actually share them as characters.

On the more fun side, this opens up a world of possible arrangements. We can speculate, for instance, that these characters might be much more open to polyamory than others might. Or, perhaps, their courtship looks very different from ours, and we can explore how that might look through fiction. One relationship existing does not need to preclude the others even in our society, much less theirs.

The most obvious potential romance that most people would identify among the Abyssal Hunters is Skadi and Laurentina, and I have to agree that it's one of the most plausible, if not the single most. I...don't think I even need to linger too much on this one, because most of it's already been laid out. Their story reads like a tragic yuri plot. The romance is practically already written; if you showed me the exact same story that these two have, but they kiss at the end, it would not remotely feel like it came out of nowhere. It's one of many dynamics between characters that would be readily interpreted as romantic by a wider audience if, say, Skadi were a man. It's already one of the most popular Arknights ships as-is! It fits their characters, and makes sense as an interpretation.

It isn't necessarily the only interpretation of these characters, of course. As discussed, there's a wide array of ways you can interpret their bond, and many are just as supported by the text. While there's plenty of subtext that can be said to be romantic between them, that subtext can all be interpreted in platonic and familial ways. This is a Chinese gacha game; we're not going to get explicit confirmation of any of these relationships, and all romantic subtext will be written to resemble other kinds of subtext. That means that other subtext that was legitimately not meant to be romantic can scan as romantic. There's no strong argument here for authorial intent regarding the two of them either way.

...You can tell how strong the potential for a ship here is that I felt the need to use one of the two paragraphs I spent talking about it to discuss how it's not necessarily the only possible dynamic.

The second most likely, in my eyes, is Laurentina and Gladiia, which I'll elaborate further on than Skadi/Laurentina because of its rarity as a ship by comparison; it's legitimately plausible that most who might read this haven't considered it at all. Of the pairs possible within the trio, they're the two with the oldest history, who clearly have a deep and intimate bond. The exact nature of this bond is subject to interpretation, of course. As discussed earlier, Gladiia is quite motherly when it comes to Laurentina. A familial interpretation of the two of them is common, but as uncommon as a romantic interpretation is, I think it's both easily supported and already has plenty of material in the text to feed it. You can easily read the time they spent together in Specter the Unchained's OpRec as a date. That their dynamic has motherly characteristics does not stop it from being romantic. Plenty of romances in popular fiction have motherly elements to them; that behavior can simply be Gladiia's chosen language of love.

An issue that I can imagine is the power dynamic between them—not necessarily even as a moral argument about the ship, but as an issue between their characters. Laurentina was, of course, young when she joined the Abyssal Hunters, and Gladiia became both her superior and her mentor. I would be surprised if Laurentina was much older than 21 at the time, and I would not be surprised if she was in fact 18. Gladiia, meanwhile, would have been probably in the range of 28-30. While almost the same exact age gap would be present between Laurentina and Skadi, who would have met her at a similar time, the fact that Gladiia served as her mentor definitely colors the relationship in a different way.

As someone who clearly felt a responsibility towards Laurentina, I find it very unlikely that the nature of their relationship was immediately romantic. Even though Gladiia was immature in many ways and inexperienced compared to others of her age as a result of her isolated childhood and arrested development caused by her mother's abuse, she still likely would have seen a romance as unacceptable between the two of them. That may have even contributed to the arm's length she seems to sometimes keep Laurentina at, to the latter's chagrin.

However, critically, they aren't that age anymore. Laurentina is firmly an adult who can make reasoned decisions for herself, and frankly often showcases more emotional maturity than Gladiia does. Their situation is radically changed. Gladiia is still her commander, but she's her leader more because of mutual trust than any necessity to follow the orders of the Ægirian military. They're no longer student and teacher; they're much more akin to equals now. There are now things that Laurentina can teach Gladiia; Gladiia is now the one who most desperately needs character development. The barriers that could have stopped their feelings from becoming a romance have eroded, and there is now the potential for one to form that is completely fitting within the bounds of the text and our understanding of their characters.

...

Okay, it's time to discuss the subject matter of the post I linked at the top of this one. Ulpianus and Gladiia.

...Almost everything I've just said about Gladiia and Laurentina applies doubly here.

It's the same dynamic. A junior who becomes an equal. It's much more common, in my experience, probably because it's heterosexual. Like with the other dynamics, there's nothing in the story that outright contradicts it. I do think its claim is weaker than the last two, though. I find it much harder to believe that Ulpianus would have harbored romantic feelings towards Gladiia.

She was much younger than him at the time they met, compared to the age gap between the other Hunters and Laurentina, and—as mentioned—he was likely very aware of her emotional immaturity, vulnerability, and desire to form real connections for the first time in her life. Ulpianus is, from what we can tell, a very thoughtful man who understands his comrades very well and reckons solemnly with the consequences of his actions. As I put it in a previous post, he's a man who "constantly pontificates on duty, responsibility, and what 'ought to be.'" I don't believe a principled man like Ulpianus—who is stubborn about principles to the point of contentiousness, who considers emotions to be secondary to duty and righteousness, who is prepared to throw away everything for what he believes in, including his life and his humanity—would do anything that could be considered taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable young woman. That seems incredibly contradictory to his character. Even if she's grown physically, I think it's easy to read from his actions that he still sees her as someone who's still immature. I think he would have a much harder time seeing Gladiia as an equal peer than Gladiia would Laurentina.

Now, to play devil's advocate somewhat, I will say that there's material within this to work with. The love of a man who won't even confess that he cares at all for his younger student, much less act upon his desires is a setup for what could be a great fan-made story. I don't personally think it could ever end with the two of them together while staying true to their characterization, but that's up for interpretation. This is, however, not the way I see this ship characterized at all. If anything, they're most popularly depicted as ex-lovers or the husband/wife of a nuclear family. I've probably belabored the point enough that I don't need to break those concepts down, so I'll leave it there.

Briefly, I want to pay some lip service to the idea I floated earlier of a...fish polycule. I don't believe that Skadi and Gladiia have the most romantic flags at present out of the trio, but (especially in the event that both of them are romantically involved with Laurentina) I can easily see them growing closer and eventually breaking down the barrier of communication between them that stops them from expressing their fondness for one-another in ways that aren't professing they'd want the other to kill them if they became a monster.

There's not a lot of material in the text for this, but that's hardly stopped anyone before. It certainly hasn't stopped me. I ship Gladiia with Lavinia/Penance. I don't need them to acknowledge each other's existence to see a line there; I'm not about to judge anyone for pairing off two characters who have had considerable screen time together, where one nearly died for the sake of the other.

Lastly, I feel like I should at least mention e.g. Laurentina/Irene and Gladiia/Kal'tsit. Mostly because this post isn't about those dynamics. I could talk about Gladiia/Kal'tsit. I could talk about the parallels in Gladiia's first IS3 scene, where Gladiia's recollections about her mother's neglect are immediately juxtaposed with Kal'tsit's concern for her. I could further elaborate on Gladiia's complex relationships with the concept of motherhood, and how Kal'tsit relates to that. I won't. But I could.

I don't even know if I ship Gladiia/Kal'tsit as a romantic couple. I just like their relationship a lot, whatever form it takes.

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Endnotes.

Thanks for reading! I don't have a sweeping conclusion to finish with; the point of this post was just to compare and contrast popular fandom depictions of these characters with the actual material found in the text.

I hope you enjoyed, or learned something. I know there's so much goddamn text in Arknights that it's kind of impossible for anyone to reflect thoroughly on every single part of it. If you have any questions, criticism, or suggestions, my inbox is open!

#arknights #gladiia #specter #skadi #ulpianus #abyssal hunters #ak text

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storytellerslense · 2 months

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JJ Maybank Character Analysis

Why a pairing of Kiara and JJ would hardly work under real-life circumstances

Screenwriters love messy romantic storylines because drama sells and keeps us all on the edge of our seats. Complicated relationships filled with "OMG, did that just happen?" moments push characters to grow and show off their deeper sides, making them more relatable. Plus, they mirror our own love life dramas (or lack thereof) and give us an escape from reality. The whole "will they or won’t they" vibe keeps us binge-watching season after season, completely invested in their rollercoaster romance.

But let's get real for a sec—these chaotic love stories shouldn't be your blueprint for a real-life relationship.

That being said, it might not be the popular opinion, but Kiara would be the worst match for JJ. In real life, their relationship would quickly go downhill, and here's why:

JJ's been crushing on Kiara since Season 1. His feelings have been solid, even while she was off exploring things with John B. and Pope even though she often treated him badly, commenting on almost all of his actions with sarcasm and disregard.

There are a lot of examples, especially in the first two seasons, where Kiara is being disrespectful and sarcastic towards JJ. It actually seems like she doesn't care for him at all

That's why Kiara’s sudden interest in JJ, after her flings with the other guys, raises some eyebrows. Is she really into JJ, or is this about rebelling against her parents or wanting a “fixer-upper” project?

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JJ and Kiara would make a perfect example for a toxic relationship

Kiara's and JJ's core personalities and backgrounds clash in fundamental ways. JJ, with his ADHD-like tendencies, impulsive nature, and carefree, rebellious attitude, often acts without thinking, seeking thrills and living in the moment. This behavior is in stark contrast to Kiara’s strong morals, rule-following disposition, and the disciplined upbringing she received from her wealthy household and good education. While JJ's spontaneity might seem exciting, it conflicts with Kiara’s structured approach to life.

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Kiara is feeding into JJ's insecurities

She tends to be judgmental, especially towards behaviors that deviate from her values, which can make it hard for her to fully understand or accept JJ’s way of coping with his challenges.

JJ grew up in an abusive household with a neglectful and violent father. This messed up his self-esteem, emotional health, and understanding of relationships. He’s conditioned to accept unhealthy dynamics and put others first, often at his own expense.

Kiara, on the other hand, had a cushy, stable upbringing with overprotective parents. This gave her strong convictions and a clear sense of right and wrong but also left her with high expectations and a need to maintain a certain image.

Kiara’s strong will and idealism can sometimes make her judgmental and inflexible, especially toward those who don't see things her way.

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Opposites attract: the more differences, the better the story

She might struggle to fully get the depth of JJ's trauma and how it shapes his behavior. His impulsiveness and reckless behavior, driven by a need to survive his trauma, often clash with Kiara's moral convictions. His actions aren't about seeking admiration but about finding safety and acceptance.

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JJ's and Kiara's values are constantly clashing

JJ’s low self-esteem, need for validation, and history of emotional neglect make him vulnerable to falling into the same victim role he’s known all his life. Kiara’s strong personality and occasional self-righteous streak could unintentionally exploit JJ’s compulsive selflessness and lack of boundaries.

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Is there really more to the chemistry between JJ and Kiara other than just physical attraction?

So, unless JJ takes some serious time for personal growth, gets to know himself and his boundaries, and learns what healthy relationships actually look like, jumping into a romance with Kiara too soon is basically setting himself up to fall right back into the emotional traps he’s trying to escape.

So, what do you think about all this? Would you disagree or do you have another constellation in mind that would suit a character like JJ better (Sarah?). Let me know your thoughts!

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abrahamvanhelsings · 2 months

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if you would ever like to elaborate further on the mountain dog/hunting dog joplittle dynamic you mentioned in the tags of that “Blanky about to lose his leg” gifset…. inquiring minds are simply piqued 👀

hi sorry that this took me. FOREVER. i didn't have time to answer the ask at first then i did it halfway and didn't have time again and i promise you this ask has been hounding me (hah hah) since the day it appeared in my inbox but i never seemed to be able to make the time to reply to it asfjdfjfd anyway! here it is now :')

ok im basing the idea of hunting dog = jopson and mountain/working dog = little on their respective personalities, the way they seem to think and how they react to specific circumstances. and slightly on their physiques as presented in the series but that's of minor importance. ofc both of them are loyal and listen well to superiors - to one man in particular, which is fairly common among dog breeds as well (i.e. whoever trained them), so that's not necessarily distinctive, but it does ofc make them dog-coded in general. but there are many many ways in which to be dog-coded and they're very different abt it so!

why i think jopson is more hunting dog coded is bc he is extremely competent, but quietly so, not noticeable until it becomes necessary. he's very skilled at providing specific information about the crew and the general goings-on around terror to crozier, and he becomes more focused in highly tense situations - in fact these are moments where he specifically stands out for how well-suited he seems to the task. and he is not aggressive, but there is definitely a sharpness to him that he can and does direct to those who threaten him or crozier first and foremost.

and all that really does remind me of hunting dogs - a good hunting dog is extremely well-trained, knows exactly what he is supposed to do, listens to commands, and stays at his master's side. im thinking especially of pointing dogs, i.e. dogs that point a hunter in the direction of prey that they have sensed:

these are of course very precarious situations wherein a hunter relies on his dog to steer him, and if hunter or dog make a wrong sound or movement, they may alert prey to their presence. there's a a correspondence here between dogs trained for these moments of focus to jopson, who is crozier's silent aid but also excels in such tense situations, and who is decisive, swift and capable. and i think it's really funny that being 'birdy' is a wanted trait in these dog types, bc 'i've shot smaller hawks than you' the comparison literally writes itself. also, pointers/setters tend to be lean dogs, which i think coincides well with jopson's natural elegance and grace

edward on the other hand is supposed to be sturdy, good-natured and broadly dependable. he appears increasingly anxious in the series, but that is because he is shouldering a lot of responsibility throughout it all. he'll take the insults and he'll take the extra tasks and he'll do it with barely a complaint. in fact it makes me think of the fact that dogs treated badly can come to exhibit traits that are not desirable in the breed at all. imo edward in ep 1 displays what i would call the desirable traits of, say, the bernese mountain dog, but events and crozier change that very rapidly.

you can fuck up any dog if you treat it badly for long enough, and edward is an abused dog to me.

id also say that edward is generally amiable, though he will make a point when he feels it is absolutely necessary, and he does have an innate want to protect what or whom he finds important, though he is seldom if ever very aggressive about it. he has an intense feeling of responsibility for the crew and the expedition as a whole, set against his feelings of loyalty towards crozier, who he wants to please almost at any cost as well. and then of course he also has a large family.

'search and rescue work'. yeah. and then of course mountain dogs are generally of a sturdy build. obviously matthew mcnulty is no absolute unit but by god the series tried their hardest to make edward appear like a well-built countryside boy. and by god does he try to carry every burden ever on those shoulders, like a dog pulling a cart bc that's what it was trained to do and it was enjoyable once. and he seems practically immune to scurvy and fares well in the cold, which, again, very mountain dog of him.

additionally, newfoundlands (neptune!) aren't mountain dogs, but they're big, sturdy, excellent swimmers, and therefore often used for rescue, so that's also a breed i associate with ned.

#uuuhhhh yeah. my thoughts.#asks #also in that blanky gifset i think their different approaches to difficult situations really comes through #jopson has a grim little smile on his face and hands blanky the stick to bite on. like darkly amused almost in the face of what's to come #he won't allow it to influence him if he can help it. as with anything fucked up that happens on those ships #difficult situations make his brain go killer mode #and edward is like. exhausted. god not another terrible thing. ill fucking do it but jesus christ.#and you just know he'll put himself through it all every time without complaining but it'll be one more thing to haunt him #the terror #thomas jopson #edward little

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 months

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hello, I am in a deep spiral about the drop/the dv.

you are so right that so many things, such as the dragging/biting don't even add up with the clean Lestat landing in s1. And his clean face definietly doesn't add up with the beat and bloody face and clothes he has in 2x07. We have the coffin dent, but we have a clean faced Lestat in the whole scene in the sky??

We all knew since s1 that the fight was a bad choice, but we all still love the show. I guess a lot of us are trying to deal with this ooc thing in a show we otherwise really enjoy. It's nice to hear that Sam doesn't really like that choice either, from what I understand? With the revisiting in s2 during the trial, so many things still don't add up, so will we revisit the fight again? How do you think they could 'redeem' that whole shitshow in s3? Posession? Armand's meddling? (since it's almost a parallel to Armand and Lestat)

Idk, I just wish the writers understood that for a lot of us, the fight doesn't make sense and we need clear explanation bc it's a pretty heavy topic. They need to be consistent with this, maybe have a genuine talk with Louis and Lestat about this. Make us understand what really happened without any more twists. I love the portrayal of Loustat in this show, aside from this. Please give me some hope bc I am so deeply obsessed with this show it rekindled my VC era and I am thinking about this day and night

Oh yeah, the show did the same for me *laughs* Sam has stated that he did not like the DV added in episode 5 and he had hoped that AMC would at least add trigger warnings, which they didn't. He also obviously was not satisfied with how 1x06 wanted to set up Lestat's turning, so he added a line.

I do think they will revisit the fight again, yes. And the trial. There are a lot of hooks set up already, especially since they used the fight in the trial. They added deliberate hints and reactions, too.

I am not sure there is "redemption", or that there needs to be redemption. I think the show won't go for "redemption", not really. They expect us to "get it" when the tale shifts again I bet - given that the shifts in the tale right now have been missed by a surprisingly lot of people I am not particularly hopeful... but I don't think Rolin & co care much for that, because emotional uproar is... engagement. And engagement is always good.

Lestat as a fictional character does not need redemption either, not really. And, as a note, the "fight" portion of episode 5 is not the problem, imho. Louis and Lestat fought, canonically. Lestat had anger problems. That's in the book. All good. But to frame it as DV with a clear power discrepancy, and then use very charged racial dynamics on top of it is what made it so irredeemable.

And I don't know how they want to dig themselves out of this, not really. I mean, fandom != general audience. Watching reactions was a bit of a reality check here, because the general audience doesn't have that big of a problem with it all. Fandom does.

And the fandom got big white abuser™ Lestat for (almost) two seasons, in more than 2 years, with a big twist at the end that a lot seem to have missed. With a lot of insinuated meddling and mental influence of the tale. And in s3 they will go to his POV and leave the memory part a bit, by Rolin's words.

I think s3 will give us Lestat telling us of a kind of "black out" during the fight (outside)... and some kind of influence. Maybe he will know what it is, maybe he won't yet (namely Amel). I think he won't know yet. And I think s3 will show us the key scenes between Armand and Lestat... and Nicki. And if we're lucky they will make the echo/parallel there clear, namely Armand telling Lestat he waited for him, and then throwing Lestat off a height, in the book the tower.

We will see.

Given season 2 and the reveals they chose there and how they chose them there... I am not too hopeful they will spell things out.

I don't think they will care to spell them out, outside the episode insiders that is (they have been much more clear in those this season, granted). For them, it's irrelevant of the majority of the audience "gets" the hinted at parallels or reveals. The story will work "enough" with the basic reveals.

Still. Given who Lestat is for the chronicles? Given who Louis is? Given who they are?

Season 3 needs to land. Stick. Hit. And leave this ugly business behind.

And therefore... I hope it will be done then.

Whatever way.

I do think there will be more twists incoming... but I hope that we will be done with the shit pertaining to Louis and Lestat themselves. Given the structure of the books - and the show's - I have a careful hope that we might be soon.

Fingers crossed.

#portraitofadyke #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #episode 5

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gigigle · 6 months

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I really hate how ursa is done in the comics idk

Like I'm done with the arranged marriage and her and ikem but I hate the other stuff.

1. Her and azula

I kinda wish they made her and azulas relationship more complex and nuanced instead of it being that ursa loved her all along and never favored zuko

Because I just think that's a little lazy. I feel like if ursa had favored zuko it would've made sense like if we keep the ikem part of all of it then I think it would be interesting that ursa favored zuko because he reminded her of her past and ikem. Also that with zuko she could at least pretend he wasn't ozais.

But with azula she couldn't pretend at all. And then coupled that with the fact that azula had a spark in her eyes that zuko didn't and she saw how ozai reacted to that and how he treated zuko that she would feel like she would need to protect him even more. I think it would be an interesting thing if zuko reminded her of her old life while azula reminded her of her present life.

And that would cause a rift between them. And then we would have azula acting out for her mothers attention and acting more and more similar to ozai which would just further increase the rift. Because ursa would struggle to separate her daughter from her abuser like she can with zuko. Especially since azula would also spend most of her time learning from ozai and listening to him.

Im also not saying she would a horrible mother either. Because I think even with this scenario that she is still nuanced because she got forced into a situation she would have never chosen and is just trying to get through it day by day. I think it would be that like ursa, azula was just a casualty of azulon and especially of ozai. Because had ozai not been there I think she would have been a much better mother.

Like idk I just feel like with how the comics wrote ursa and ozais relationship this would make even more sense than her being just a slightly flawed mother but she was trying her best. Idk I'm not very articulate.

2. The forgetting thing

It sucks. I hate it so much actually. It's just so bad, like I feel like the writer couldn't think of anyway to make it make sense that ursa would never go back to her kids but tbh I can think of some ways.

Like ursa is definitely terrified of ozai and he knows where she went and she would still go back to her hometown.

So maybe ozai knows this and every now and then he sends soldiers around there to just do a bit of patrol maybe even have them raid her parents house as a way of telling ursa that if she does something her parents and ikem are gonna be the price. Which I think would work.

Also I think with azula and zuko that she just kept telling herself that zuko had Iroh and that azula was ozais favorite. She probably just repeated those constantly like how zuko does with azula always lies. And soon after like a year she believed it.

Also I think she wouldn't get any information on them because ozai would make it harder and like we see in canon not that many know of or recognize azula and zuko. Like in the beach episode kids who seem to have noble parents don't even know about them so I think it would make a lot of sense that the royal family is way way way more private esp during ozais reign. Because yk ozai killed his father,stole his brothers birthright, and In ozais opinion had a failure of a first born. And maybe ursa was also too terrified of what shed find out or just to leave hir'a/her hometown.

Also part of me thinks it was lazy writing so that they wouldn't have to have ursa have difficult conversations about why she never went looking for them or just a conversation with azula because we never actually get a real ursa and azula convo.

3. Kiyi

I hate her. Like she just feels like such a a replacement and lazy writing. Like they wanted zuko to have a healthy brother sister dynamic with someone and they didn't know how,didn't think of, or just didn't want to write that with pre established characters, they decided to make a character that was everything azula wasn't and was the perfect little sister and daughter.

Like I think she could be fun but I also think she was just so that zuko could have that dynamic without having to put in the work of writing azula a semi redemption arc or smth.

But also I think maybe they could've given zuko that brother sister dynamic with katara or toph. Like we see zuko jealous of sokka and katara and maybe we get stuff we're zuko and katara will act like sibling or like the relationship he always wanted with azula but then gets reminded that he can't have that.

Also It feels like a way to also give ursa the perfect daughter but I do think rewritten she could work. I think she's a fun concept.

End

Tbh I just wanted to rant because I feel like so much was done that was just kinda boring and lazy.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #azula #azula in the spirit temple #uncle iroh #zuko #the search #smoke and shadow #fire lord ozai #ikem #not ursa slander #ursa #avatar comics

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pinkblahaj · 1 month

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rick riordan's female characters pt 1: annabeth

this year i reread pjo and hoo for the first time since finishing the series five years ago, and i now understand the (somewhat?) common opinion that the way he wrote female characters was definitely flawed in some ways. although, i don't completely agree with all the criticisms, and i still love the majority of his characters. because i have so many thoughts on annabeth, i'll make this post just about her and discuss other characters later.

i'm certainly not one of those avid annabeth haters, but i do think there are valid reasons to not like her- I think there are valid reasons to not like any character. for me, there are moments where she is a bit too arrogant or mean. but i don't think she should have been written with an entirely different personality either- it makes sense why she is the way she is, and all the characters are flawed in their own ways, which is what makes them relatable. i just don't relate to annabeth like i do to the characters i like more.

i see how some ppl dislike the dynamic between percy and annabeth, but i feel like a lot of those issues are just a product of their time. the judo-flipping scene in mark of athena has been made to be way bigger of a deal than it is. it was not annabeth "abusing" percy- it's more akin to play wrestling. but... i do agree that moments like this would be clearly unacceptable if annabeth were a boy (which, i know, those "if the roles were reversed" type discussions sometimes are used to weaponize the suffering of men in order to diminsh women's issues, and i am not trying to do that here). it unfortunately does make sense when you think about the whole anti-femininity trend that used to be so common, and existed in rick's books as well (ex: aphrodite's children). annabeth is supposed to be tough and scary, not soft and weak. but we should also keep in mind that every relationship's boundaries our different- annabeth might joke about percy being dumb, but it's obvious that doesn't bother him and he likes the nickname "seaweed brain".

annabeth's treatment of rachel in botl seems to be a dividing topic, and i can see both sides. i honestly was quite bothered by it when i reread botl, and i find it strange that some ppl will hate on percy on this book while not criticizing annabeth. but honestly that's probably because i'm a sensitive person. some ppl find it funny, which is probably how it was supposed to come across. it was probably just as obvious to rachel as it was to us readers that annabeth was only being mean out of her fear of losing percy... and rachel did indeed like percy. but i do wish that we would've seen someone call her out or see her apologize, and while her abandonment issues are an explanation for her behavior, they are not an excuse. but again, it's safe to assume that rachel was not that affected by it, and being a teenager who is rude to someone bc they like the same guy as you is not the worst thing a person can do. (i do think it's interesting how this situation is brought up more frequently than leo bullying frank, which actually did hurt frank.)

contrary to what i've seen other ppl say, i actually really liked annabeth in heroes of olympus. i thought her povs were great, and i loved to see her interact with the new characters, especially piper. i also found her more likable (ik some think she was too perfect, but i loved seeing her as a competent leader). the scene with frank and the finger trap was so cute and because i love and relate to frank, i will forever appreciate her for that. however she was def underutilized- outsmarting arachne by attacking her pride made sense because of arachne's backstory, but that strategy became overused (the way she defeated nyx was kind of ridiculous). and of course, who doesn't love the percabeth scenes- sure they were obsessed with each other, but that makes sense. they just met the rest of the seven, ofc they're not going to care about their new friends to the extend that they do for each other (side note: i don't disagree that seven felt like "co-workers", but i don't see a problem with it either).

leah was a perfect choice for the tv show adaptation. i honestly could not care less that she's not blonde and white. yes, the acting could be a bit better, but they're young and i've seen worse acting from older actors. what i do have an issue with is how annabeth was written in the show. i feel like the writers read that she's the brains of the group and she's serious and forgot that she's also a twelve year old girl. annabeth is a great character because she is strong, smart and skilled, but still flawed, realistic and relatable. i wish the show delved into other parts of her character, such as her love for architecture, the scene with the spiders, and her relationship with luke- this last one especially is such an important part they missed out on, because it's a huge source of her vulnerability in the books. i'm completely fine with them cutting out her crush on him, but the fact that she looks up to him and sees him as family is so central to why she can't accept that he's betrayed her. her believing that there is still good left in luke is also key to how they defeat kronos with luke's help. show luke says that annabeth is like his little sister, but without us actually seeing this relationship, it's going to be hard to understand in later seasons why annabeth defends him.

overall, annabeth is a great character and deserving of her popularity, but i don't think that if you dislike her you hate complex female characters. while she's not my favorite, i see her as a testament to both rick's ability to write good female characters and some of his shortcomings in this area.

#pjo #heroes of olympus #hoo #annabeth chase #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson

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ghost-the-writer · 8 months

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Well well well a lot of you seemed spiked about my last post so here we go an explanation of why Huskerdust works.

I wanna start by saying I was reading some comments and I saw a take on how the show made Alastor husk’s abuser only to have him be able to relate to Angel.

While I get that interpretation I wouldn’t flat out say that Alastor is abusive towards either husk nor nifty. He has controls over their souls/lives yes but he only exercises that control when he needs too, he doesn’t do so out of pleasure of control (which is what Valentino does to Angel).

As for Husk being a victim of Al, I do agree that it seemingly came out of nowhere (though it would make sense as to while he’s at the hotel, we learn that he’s being forced by Al to stay rather than staying on his own accord.) It was revealed early on that Husk was an overlord but that wasn’t from the pilot, and since I am strictly sticking to content that the show/pilot provided I won’t go into it.

When it comes to the core of what makes Huskerdust work, I would have to argue for power dynamics.

The thing about Radiodust that turns most people off is the unbalanced power dynamic. Alastor is a powerful overlord, Angel, while being more than capable of handling himself, wouldn’t be able to defend himself against Al. Essentially it would remind people of his dynamic with Valentino, thought Alastor clearly wouldn’t take advantage of Angel in the same way.

This is where Huskerdust works better, they’re on more even playing field. Especially because of the fact that both are controlled by overlords, which brings me to episode 4.

Husk is able to relate to Angel because he also made a deal (well lost a deal) for his soul, and is controlled by someone way more powerful than himself that he knows he can’t escape from. Husk isn’t relating to the way that Angel is abused, more so the way that he’s being controlled.

Which brings me to my next point the fact that Huskerdust feels forced. In the argument against Radiodust it doesn’t make sense cause Raidodust just feels as forced.

But in the argument of Huskerdust alone let’s look at episode 4.

The episode is so packed because not only does it really expand Angel’s story and abuse, but Husk actually gets a personality.

We learn why Angel acts the way he does, the reason he’s so sexual is because he gets abused in that way (it’s common for SA victims to hyper-sexualize themselves). And he’s drug addicted in effort to destroy himself so that Val might leave him.

We learn that Husk is the person everyone “bitches” to in his words. He knows everyone’s issues, and based on how he interacts with Angel we can guess that instead of offering solutions Husk is more the type to comfort someone by understanding their situation.

But it’s really all service level still, we have greater understanding of who both of them are as people.

I’m interested to see how Husker and Angel get developed further as the show goes on.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel episode 4 #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #radio demon #huskerdust #radiodust #hazbin critical #character analysis #i’m just yapping #idk man #ghost is here

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ashyjingles · 20 days

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What's your favorite trope in thiam fics? (Or in general?)

this ended up being something a lot longer than i meant to be and is less of a fav trope and more of an analysis of how i view them or whatever but like. here have it

theo learning how to cope with life outside of the dread doctors and being viewed as a monster for his actions (which,,, sorry theo ily and i will forever be a theo defender,,, but never an apologist bc wtf bro) and liam understanding him because of what he's done during his ied episodes and the repercussions

liam's reluctant to admit he feels that empathy for him at first because hey!! this guy kind of not only evil but also batshit fucking bonkers!! but he kinda realizes without empathy he loses an aspect of his humanity and when he accepts it he realizes theo was quite honestly just in an incredibly abusive situation and was just trying to survive and became a product of his enviornment (and considering one of the causes of ied is environmental factors i feel like it wouldn't be too far fetched to say liam understands that personally too)

and theos reluctant to admit that he. feels guilty for anything he did. because that means admitting that he did bad things. which when he tries to rationalize makes no sense because he has done bad things and has even enjoyed doing it because his brains a little fucked and he knows that because he's a monster. but being guilty means he's a failure to the dread doctors. and he's already rotten at the edges and the edges are starting to peel away to show a rotten core and that means he's a failure to the mccall pack because they're a bunch of saints (compared to him at least. and if not, well they're on a saints leash) and he's spent so long being anything but a failure because being a failure means being dead and he cannot shake that no matter how hard he tries until he realizes liam sometimes fails at keeping his anger in check but that doesn't make him a failure. and then without even realizing liam starts teaching theo that it's okay to slip up a few times because that's what makes people human and maybe theo doesn't have to be a monster

but when they both accept themselves and the other it leads to a relationship that no one else quite gets (sure, mason has been there for liam his entire life and i cannot stress how much i adore their friendship but sometimes understanding something because you've watched it happen is worlds away from actually experiencing it) at first but it's the sort of thing that just. fits. because they can both push each other to their limits without actually going over (eventually) but also pull each other back when they need a reminder of who they are (people. not monsters.)

tbh i love them cause there's so many different dynamics and tropes that can apply to them but this one,,,,,,,, this one is the one that well and truly wrecks me most of the time. and i don't even think this counts as a trope.

if i had to choose like a trope trope then. idiots to lovers? basic. enemies to lovers? too obvious. idk any tropes now that i think about it,, fuck. sunshine x grumpy?? but also i think i like grumpy liam more than sunshine liam because that boy has an ied and a shitload of trauma he's not gonna be a ray of happiness all the time and like hell will theo be a sunshine character. OHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT?? FAKE DATING!! or the and they were roommates thing. idk tbh dude. hanahaki if u wanna take a peek at my 4 hanahaki drafts for them lmfao

in general tho? combination of idiots to lovers but also fake dating but also grumpy x grumpy that sometimes leans toward grumpy x sunshine I GUESS. since you're MAKING me CHOOSE.

#does any of this even make any sense #theo raeken #liam dunbar #thiam #teen wolf #bringing the #thiam is to me what cheese is to white people #tag back #pokey ask

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youremyheaven · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754446269650452480/they-dooo-notice-everything-i-love-it-sometimes

Jupiter women can lowkey be like this too. Idk about the Freud stuff, but jupiter is the husband. When their dad fails to display positive jupiter traits and becomes arrogant, withdrawn and selfish, they become their own dad. So they embody or atleast attempt to embody positive jupiter traits of generosity and virtue. Now that I’ve typed that out, it doesn’t sound as relevant as it did in my head 😭

However I do think that what OP was describing is more of a Bharani thing than anything else. I’m sure other venus naks do it too but still.

Bharani has major connotations to childbirth and so many women make sacrifices when they have children, some are forced to leave education, some develop long term health problems, and some struggle to leave difficult relationships since children complicate that kind of thing. Before medicine advanced it was somewhat common to just die entirely bc of childbirth.

So therefore I think a lot of Bharani natives (esp moon bc we’re talking about mothers) are overly aware of the sacrifice their mothers made and it weighs on them. It becomes their “burden” as the translation of Bharani, “she who bares” takes on a literal and metaphorical interpretation. So basically Bharanis like to acknowledge the people who came before them and their sacrifices but they can have a bit of a chip on their shoulder bc of it. Inheriting their karma in a sense.

So when they experience that humiliation from their abusive parent they “eat the pain” as part of the burden they bare. Fighting back will always lead to more suffering for them despite their anger and resentment (aries). In mythology Yama was about to kick his mom but even though he holds himself back, she still cursed his foot.

Yama’s father ☀️ ☀️ also got mad at his mother for struggling to look directly at him and cursed Yama as a result, which is such a good example of the dynamics their parents have and how they suffer from it.

In conclusion, Bharanis are stoics become pushovers with daddy issues. Sorry for the unsolicited lecture, it may happen again

Nahh you're right. Jupiter women and their daddy issues are well documented (by me lmao 🤣🤡) they do become excessively giving because their dad's weren't giving at all 😤

Jupiter is a masculine planet for a reason after all. Reminds me of Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon. She and her siblings were the illegitimate children of a famous actor and he never acknowledged them publicly. Her mom had many other kids from other relationships etc and they were dirt poor. Rekha even went to school with her father's legitimate kids and other kids in school knew about the whole situation and called her a bastard 🥺🥹

She started acting at the age of 13 to support her ailing mother and 6 or 7 siblings. She hated being an actor and was severely exploited in the industry, esp since she had no mentors or father figures :(((( in turn she made sure none of her siblings ever had to work in the movies to make a living and supported everyone financially until they settled down 🥺 she in turn never got married or had kids :((( (she was manipulated into marrying a guy once and he committed suicide and she was hella traumatized by that as well, but that's a separate story 💀)

Here's a pic of Rekha with some of her siblings (2 or 3 are missing in the picture)

She does embody that Jupiter woman being the man trope.

(This is Rekha & her mom Pushpavalli)

Despite everything, she's never spoken ill about her father or even her mother, who clearly made her the scapegoat and placed undue pressure on her to provide even though she was a literal child. She even named her house after her mother 🥺

Anywaayyyyyssss

I agree that Bharanis are in a unique position because of their mythology and in general I think Bharanis are more dignified and humane than other Venus naks

They're outcaste naks who know what it's like to be the outsider and work their way up

But yes they're pushovers with daddy issues 😭😭😭😭

I lowkey like how empathetic they are to women bc of what they saw growing up 😔😔 like they're genuinely just like "no this is not how it should be, women need to be worshipped period, my woman will never suffer this way" and 🤧🤧😩😩😩i fall for that shit lmao

I had a recent experience with a Jupiter conjunct Purvashada Rising man who thought that broke men did not deserve to have women 💀💀💀 he said men who cannot provide have no business dating or marrying 💀💀and that "real men" should never ask for a 50-50 and put the burden on his partner and if he truly loves her, he should want her to be relaxed and enjoy life. He said things like "what's the point of me working so hard if my family isn't enjoying themselves and having a good time, my wife can do whatever she wants and I'll support her but she will never have to work to pay the bills" and ngl I love this mentality lmfao 😂🤣🤪🤭

Venus men being scarred by incompetent dads and overcompensating by being the provider and father they never had is >>>>> 🥵🥵🥵🥵so sexy of them tbh

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silusvesuius · 4 months

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unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping.

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird.

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

#text #i've been putting more meaning(?) into the nelvas-es i've been drawing lately so i wanted to see how it would reflect in words #the fact that dis will show up in tags will haunt me a little bit but if i add asteriks it will be incomprehensible LOL #i hope this isn't too hard to understand when reading bc i know i have an easier time reading stuff like this instead of 'snobby' writing -#- bc i like knowing how the thoughts were brewing as they were written down.#but it may not be the case for all people.#what do U think of it.#i think what i;ve always liked the most in being able to talk w/ people Online is getting to know their thoughts on the same thing #more than anything else #i literally sucked and spit out all of the skajrim lore factors out of their relationship pretty much (not that it had much in the first -#- place) so it's just a reading on a possible scenario with the characters i was given #i mean characters i put in the soup pot decorating the middle of my brain #this is december-may 2024 facts for now #just so i remember #abuse //#< OKAY #log #< is gonna be my tag for this type of thing if i end up saying more because i already started torturing my notes app with what i think of -#- civil war characters #tumblr is pussy so it made me reformat the paragraph breaks i made. they don't rly matter anyway but still

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eldritch-spouse · 8 months

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Hi I don't if you've answered it before but how would vesper or Santi deal with nymphomaniacs as a customer or as a darling. Because most nymphos have a 25/8 need for sex but never feel satisfied with it. I always thought that since their never satisfied the "meal" they produce is like sour in a sense because of that

Idk just a thought.

Thanks😀

[Here's a humble reminder to take this with a grain of salt, I don't know what it's like to live as someone hypersexual/a sex addict, and thus my representation of such might not be accurate...]

You might think that a concubus is a sex addict's best friend, right? Very wrong. Hypersexual individuals are to concubi what a limping gazelle is to a hungry lion. You are exceptionally easy prey. More than that, you yourself are addicting to these demons. And while they suffer little consequences from abusively extracting energy from you, you can and might die from such attentions. Given things are discussed and there's moderation involved, a concubus and a sex addict will find a suitable compromise (always a tad risky, because hypersexuality isn't exactly an ideal state of existence for a human), the trick is establishing that.

At the same time that Santi is definitely not above using your hypersexual state against you to keep you fixated on him, he also becomes more protective of you. You're a blazing neon target for others of his kind, and that has him slightly on edge at times. He's also a lot more attentive to you when he feeds, because you might not know when it's appropriate to stop, and thus Santi exercises some alertness. Your meals are naturally more bountiful than the ones he'd get from people with an average libido, particularly if you're driven to more "perverse" fetishes. It's all fun and games, and he definitely wishes he could fuck you several times a day every single day, but provided the two of you have a semi-functional dynamic, the voice of reason will come knocking at his mind one day.

Fact of the matter is that you are being hurt. This is something you need to get treated, because Santi really doesn't want you to become dysfunctional in the future over excessive sex. You also encourage him to overfeed himself so, which leads him to ruts that reinforce your addiction in a sort of snowball effect. In actuality, the two of you would be safer if this was eventually curbed.

Vesper is a whole other story. Vesper, as an Icon of sexual decadence and extreme carnality, goes beyond hypersexuality. You really have no choice but to be even more sexually driven around him. Your already hypersexual state might facilitate the transition from your surface life to life on Lust. He also takes care to make sure you get scheduled breaks, even though those won't do much to fix the damage episodes of fuck frenzies will inflict. In the end, this ensures that you'll be turned into a succubus much faster.

#Santi oc #Vesper oc #smuttydegenerate

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ddlcbrainrot · 5 months

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Oh my god i love natsuki so muchhhh

I can’t wait to hear those natsuki thoughts once you can finally spill them

So, before i start i’d like to say this is going to be just me spewing my thoughts like word vomit. I highly doubt this is going to have any cohesion whatsoever so I apologise in advance lol

The perception of Natsuki as a character is one that i think is deeply rooted in the person’s personal headcanons. The main reason for this is the lack of canon info about her home life, all we know is that it’s definitely not a pretty one and that’s it. There’s also not any mention of her mother, so it’s fair to say that her main parental figure is her dad. Because the most information we get about this subject is in Act 2, it’s hard to know how much is accurate and how much is amplified. So, people usually have different takes about how bad her home life is, varying from just a very strict father to a physically abusive one and so on. There is also only one mention of Natsuki’s dad in the side stories, in which it mostly paints the picture of a strict parent, not the physically abusive one we saw in Act 2. Then again, just because Natsuki doesn’t mention it doesn’t mean it isn’t a possibility

Why am I saying all of this instead of just talking about Natsuki? As stated, this very much changes ever so slightly Natsuki’s character to each person. So, I think that before I continue talking about Natsuki I should make clear what my view on her relationship with her father is. Personally, I’m more of the “strict father” group. More specifically, Natsuki’s father in my mind is that kind of parent that wants to be close with their kid but is never willing to put in the effort and then making her feel bad that they aren’t as close as he would like. Basically expecting Natsuki herself to carry the responsibility of their relationship all on her own. I think this makes sense considering how she interacts with her “friend” group in the side stories. It’s a kind of similar situation in which Natsuki is expected to just put in all the work and let them treat her as crappy as they feel like. You could argue that her friendships and her relationship with her father aren’t necessarily interconnected, but like, many abuse victims unconsciously look for similar dynamics in their relationships in order to feel secure. So, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch for her arc in the side stories to be sort of a mirror of her home life.

Natsuki at her core is a person that longs for closeness but is too afraid to accept it. It’s obvious that her flawed view on how relationships should be makes her act the way she does. It’s kind of weird, because she seems very much in denial about how toxic the relationships in her life are but she is also aware that the way they treat her is kind of shitty because she tries her best to make sure she doesn’t act that way herself. She contradicts herself quite a lot actually, but that just adds to the realism of her character since most people contradict themselves all the time. Natsuki’s character has always felt very human to me, despite being the personification of the tsundere trope, and I couldn’t understand why until recently. And I finally figured it out. The main difference between her and the other versions i’ve seen of the tsundere trope is that her behaviour is not painted as a cute little quirk, but as an unlikable flaw. As much as I love her, she can be quite unlikable from time to time and that just adds so much depth to her character, because she is allowed to be mean and wrong and contradictory. Natsuki is unapologetically flawed, and I love that because most characters (especially female ones) are almost never allowed to

Anyway, I hope some of this made at least somewhat sense lol

#ddlc #ddlc natsuki #asks #character stuff

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zombieheroine · 3 months

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Thoughts on MHA/BnHA 426????

Shocked, devastated, still in mourning. I will never be okay again, something in me has been altered, there's a strangling feeling in my throat but all I can do is stare into emptiness.

For real, I read it and was Very Much Not Okay for several days.

More under the spoilers cut. Just remember, you asked.

OKAY SO. I am both absolutely devastated but also very fulfilled with how the Todoroki family saga is wrapping itself up. It think this is one of the strongest aspects of the entire Boku no Hero Academia story, and I am very happy with how daring its conclusion is.

Like so many, I started out hating/not caring about Endeavour at all, but as the story dwelved more deeply into the whole mess that is his family and he as a character started evolving, I grew to care a lot. His character embodies a lot of deep dark fears that I have, like what if you've been wrong all along, and you're actually selfish and horrible and all you do is for nothing yet you hurt everyone you love for it. And then one day your best days are behind you, you're growing old, and all you have is a handful of ashes, because you destroyed everything that mattered in pursuit of nothing at all.

Then again, basically since the season 4 of the anime I've been lowkey worried that Horikoshi would just take a shortcut with the Todoroki family and be like "no worries, dad gave flowers once and shows up once a week from now on, it's all fine, the nuclear family unit will be all good now!"

But that's not how the manga went, and I've been looking forward to this absolute gut punch for a long time. I've actually rooted for pretty much everything this chapter gave us.

Because it's true that there are unforgivable things. Sometimes you can't fix what you've broken, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

I think the story has well and truly driven in that there are consequences to your action and choices, and that this is what parenting is: you give it your all no matter what, and then your kids make their own choices. They owe you nothing, while you owe them everything.

To me it makes sense that Shoto is the closest to Enji: he got the most attention and "care", no matter how misguided and abusive it was. He's also still young enough and has enough in common with his father to actually have room for better things, while he has also built his own separate support network that he actually depends on and that will nurture him to become different and better than where he came from. He leaves while shouting reassurances to his mom and dad, so settling in a very normal and balanced dynamic with them.

It's the older Todoroki siblings who represent different outcomes and underline other points. Toya represents the absolute worst case scenario that might come from an abusive family dynamic: a total rejection, vengeful and violent. Everything went wrong with him, and then he was groomed to become the absolute worst version that he could possibly be. For Toya vs Enji, I wondered if one would kill the other and which would be worse. I theorized that Horikoshi wouldn't make Enji kill Toya and that the most likely end would be that Enji (more or less) lets Toya kill him instead. But I hate the "redemption through death" trope, so I've had an AU idea ready where Toya ends up bed-ridden with his injuries, and Enji and Rei care for him despite how it looks to the public.

Now that Toya is in hospice care, I've gotten that but uhhhh worse, thanks for that Horikoshi-sensei, I'm not okay??? This probably hits so hard because I've been through that, having a family member in hospice care. Yes, it's just a part of life, but that's what makes it hurt so bad. Hurts so much more than any grand battle with hard moral choices could, because this feels so real. From a writing perspective, it's great, but just the thought of a hospice ward is enough to make me want to cry for real. So.

I had my Toya feels way back when the battle happened. It makes me so sad to think that what he really wanted all along was very simple, but just couldn't grab it, and then everything went to hell and it's not even his fault. Another unfulfilled person, very much like his father, whether he likes it or not.

Moving on, for Fuyumi I hope she gets distance and a better relationship with her mom and her brothers on one-on-one basis. She's been that "eldest daughter" who's tried to fix everything on her own, so I'm glad it looks like she's getting a fresh start and isn't fretting over anyone.

I'm especially happy that Natsuo decided to cut ties with Enji. That's been brought up as a possibility in the story before when the Todoroki family was having their weekly dinners, but I honestly didn't think Horikoshi would go through with it: usually in stories like this, if a parent tries to make amends, they succeed and the children forgive them. I think this is really strong writing, that not only the possibility of not being forgiven was brought up, but it's also carried through. Natsuo was neglected and ignored, he has basically no relationship with his father, and he doesn't want to build one. He doesn't care that Enji regrets his action, and he doesn't want to put time and energy into what he sees as only a bad thing in his life. He's an independent adult with a life of his own, and he chooses to walk away and cut ties for good. Good for him, especially since his choice would have been the best case scenario for Toya: live your own life and leave the past behind.

Among the siblings, I love that they come together to accept each other, especially Toya. They don't have much time, not that even all the time in the world was going to fix what's been broken, but they take what little they have and make the most of it. It's not enough and it doesn't make everything okay, but considering the other - and much easier - option would be to just walk away, to cut ties looking good and righteous to the public while doing so, it's the best they can do. They choose to embrace their lost brother until he passes, to accept someone who's essentially a massmurdering terrorist, because to them he's family.

As for Endeavor, his retirement makes me sad. It's like a final nail to the coffin: he wasn't cut out to be a hero and he never achieved what he wanted the most in life. But then again, I do like that in the context of the larger story, it cuts to the point of what true heroics are. It's not about strength, power rankings, image, or flashy costumes. It's about accepting responsibility, doing the right thing especially when it's hard and unpopular, and serving others. His character was early on described as 'a hero who doesn't look like a hero', and him giving up the name and the costume signifies this bigger point of the story, that heroes shouldn't be idols in capes on a pedestal, and that ordinary people shouldn't just expect someone else to come and solve their problems for them. The end point of his character is to accept that doing the heroic thing is thankless, hard work out of the spotlight.

But it's not all bleakness, because there are still people there for him. I really like this sort of a nuanced ending, where some things work out and others don't. It feels very real and thus makes me feel real feelings: it's not all suffering but not all sunshine and roses either. It's just life, difficult and uncertain.

And yes, all my endhawks feels too. A little flicker of light. I do think they are a great match and they met each other at a perfect moment in their lives. They wouldn't have worked out before, but now they have good things to give each other and empty space in their lives to build something new. Interesting that Enji is retiring and Hawks is now quirkless, they will both have to be good people in more conventional ways (and paralleling Midoriya and One For All; fascinating).

'Endhawks' more like endgame, heh.

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 246 #todoroki family #replies #zombie reads heroaca #boku no hero academia #endhawks #endeavor bnha

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