#wlw discourse

[phlebaphobia]

One thing I’ve learned in my stupid transgender life, if she asks for your star sign, run for the HILLS the pussy is NOT worth it

[fernsnflora]

idc. one thing that is going to bother me forever is straight people using the term “pillow princess.” babydoll, that one ain’t for you. not everything is for you.

[nuke-your-mind]

the discourse on wether or not “pillow princess” is a WLW only term pisses me off so bad because not only is it YET AGAIN more stupid gatekeeping discourse but it also ostracizes straight and mspec women from their own sexuality.

people go and try to claim that a woman with a man cannot be a pillow princess. a pillow princess is someone who, in a sexual situation, does little to no work and is on the “receiving” end. this makes NO SENSE to say its a wlw only term.

here are my main problems with it:

1. this reduces people with vaginas to only being able to receive from people with penises or even just masc people. men and masc people can be bottoms/submissive and the suggestion that they cant is bullshit, and then in reverse for fem people.

anyone who thinks people with penises cant receive from someone with a vagina needs to open up their view of sexuality. and im not just talking about straps. there is more than one way to “receive”

2. you are gatekeeping sexuality from women/fem people in het passing relationships when you should be uplifting ALL PEOPLE.

3. bringing down cishet/cishet passing people is NOT PUNK! gatekeeping terminology like pillow princess is exactly how we end up going in circles and never make any progress. exploring ones sexuality and sexual preferences is how we progress, and gatekeeping over stupid menial shit is regression.

pillow princess very well could be an empowering term to your local cishet passing fem person and that is UP TO THEM. controlling other peoples expression of their sexuality is NOT FUCKING PUNK!!

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

People who are calling this fandom wlw dominated. I think you're stuck on a side of the fandom you don't like.

~~~

[cinnagirl22]

Ya'll ever notice how they bash pillow princess and stone butches/touch me nots every year? Its always "They're selfish" this and "they're predatory" that from people who do not even identify or interact with the labels? They just feel entitled to other people's boundaries. -_-

Maybe I just need to get off tiktok

[wenclair-more-like-whenclair]

All it takes for a character to be interpreted as heterosexual is simply for the character to exist. A character can never kiss a member of the opposite gender, hook up with one, or show any signs of attraction and still be viewed as straight. Meanwhile, two members of the same gender can have the most intimate onscreen relationship, flirt, check each other out, show visible signs of being in love with the other, and somehow none of that is enough to even SUGGEST that they might be queer.

What a gross double standard. Sexuality is not “straight until proven otherwise” like so many believe it to be. Newsflash to all the straight normies out there, your favorite non labeled, sexuality unconfirmed character in your favorite show is NOT STRAIGHT just bc they haven’t been confirmed as queer. Use your fucking brains for once. It’s all about diving into media and picking up on subtext until that subtext suggests queerness. Then, suddenly, everyone loses their fucking ability to interpret a piece of media. Have you considered that: if all signs point to them being gay then maybe they actually really are just gay???

[lvambi]

I don't want to be a party pooper but the lesbian community still has so much fatphobia and lookism to unlearn, it's genuinely sad. I always want to elaborate but every time this topic comes around it feels like screaming at the wall.

Learn to love fat femmes. Not "because they are soft", not because there "is more to bite". Love and respect fat femmes for who they are.

Same goes for fat butches, they are not only lovable because "they are beefy" or "they can put their weight on you" or some other shit. They are lovable because they are themselves, just like you are you.

You don't have to make us feel better about ourselves with all these backhanded compliments. Just make us feel like everyone else and start viewing fat bodies as normal and desirable ones without making it weird.

[anarcho-catboyism]

A lot of discourse could stop if y'all stopped approaching every situation with this idea that your experience is the default one

[jamesmirandabarry]

I am SOOO tired of the “trans men can’t be lesbians” discourse.

I fear you guys just don’t get the life experience of being a trans man (who used to be perceived as a woman and still is by some people) who likes only women. I am never going to be a cisgender man and I don’t want to be. I am a man in most social scenarios but in romantic ones I am a butch. Living in our heteronormative society, being on T but with no surgeries, I feel more aligned with the butch romantic experience than cisgender men.

Women who are attracted to me still like female bodies. I haven’t had any surgeries and I don’t want them. I’m simply on T, which means I am seen as a man by society…with all my clothes on. I’m a man with a female body. Both of these things exist at the same time, it’s just part of my lived reality. This means I’m seen as a man to broader society, which is my goal, but I still have a female body which effects how I navigate the world. This includes in healthcare/reproductive rights and also sexually.

If a lesbian is only attracted to femininity, then yes, she won’t like me and I don’t want her to. But if she likes masculinity and female bodies, which very much can be the case in lesbianism, then yes, I am in that category. To say that lesbians can’t like masculinity is extremely reductive tbh and erases butches entirely.

[sweetbananachips]

people’s inability to understand that some ships are shipped BECAUSE they’re toxic will be the death of me

[frontmansdefender]

"On AO3 there are about 6,400,000 fics as of now that are M/M and only about 1,200,000 fics for F/F. Fans should stop excluding female characters for the sake of male characters" Hold the fuck on???? People don't "exclude female characters for the sake of male characters". The ratio between M/M fics and F/F fics is literally because more people like M/M fics more than they do F/F and that's actually fine, it's not that deep. Because people can write whatever they like.

Yes, misogyny is a very real thing. But you're erasing the creditability of that word and are the ones doing harm to women if you scream misogyny every time you see something that slightly upsets you. Writers ONLY writing M/M doesn't automatically mean they're misogynists, without any other factors present that may or may not make them misogynists, the only fact that 'some writers ONLY write M/M' literally just means they like writing romance between two male characters and that's it.

This is fanfiction we're talking about, not a political debate or social justice protest. If the majority of people want to write about two male characters falling in love, then let them.

You don't get to shame a writer for "ONLY writing about M/M" because everybody has the rights to write whatever they like.

If you want more works for F/F, then write F/F yourself. No one's stopping you.

As a feminist myself, shaming writers for only writing M/M doesn't make you a feminist, it makes you an entitled dick.

(from this poll by @curiositysavesthecat nothing against the mods of the poll blog btw, they just run polls that were sent to them.)

[infiniteaugends]

Okay! I need to get this out of my head. I’ve seen some posts that are upset that people are upset about the BuckTommy break up. The core gripe of these posts is that the show still has HenKaren and so we shouldn’t be upset about the handling of the other main queer couple. Which makes no sense because BuckTommy and HenKaren fulfill different niches. One is a bisexual man exploring a new relationship and the other is two gay women who are settled with multiple kids.

However, this post is to talk about HenKaren. Yes I love them! They were the main thing that drew me to the show long before bi Buck became a thing. They are two black women in a relationship. Neither is ‘conventionally’ attractive. Hen is pretty visually queer. I love them. I want more of them in the show. However I don’t relate to them. Almost all of their storylines revolve around motherhood. There is very limited exploration of them as queer women outside of motherhood. Karen is a literal rocket scientist and that has never even been used as any sort of plot point. Like the amount of physics she knows and understands could be used to great effect. Micheal got to help break into a bank vault with Bobby, but Karen has never been used in a similar way. Like the amount of STEM knowledge stored in her brain 100% could have solved at least a few rescues. Can we explore these amazing woman as queer women instead of mothers just sometimes pls.

I read a fanfic that explored how Don’t ask, Don’t tell could have affected Karen. That she couldn’t become an astronaut because of it. I would love more of that energy in the show.

So yes you are right I am bemoaning the way Buck and Tommy’s break up was handled. I am bemoaning the lack of care given to exploring Buck’s bisexuality within monogamy. I am allowed to be upset. I am allowed to not relate to the storylines given to Hen and Karen. What happened to Hen being kinda witchy and blaming the moon cycle for her cheating? What happened to Hen and Karen and Athena’s wine mom nights? Where is our exploration of Karen as partner to a woman in a dangerous field of work? Where is our exploration of their relationship outside of kids?

You want me to appreciate the crumbs of queer representation being tossed my way? Well won’t you’re right we should be angry that Hen and Karen are treated as second class citizens in the narrative. We should be upset that their importance has been reduced to only motherhood. We should be upset that this show is mishandling all of its queer characters and letting Eddie Diaz have freedom and joy while our queer representation suffers.

BuckTommy was the straw that broke the camels trust in 911 ability to craft realistic queer lives and continue to care about them more than a diversity check mark. I will continue to watch HenKaren clips on YouTube and read fan-fiction. I will continue to engage with Bi Buck fan-fiction that heals the parts of me that Glee and this show have bruised. I will not thank them for the stale crumbs they brush from the table. Do I love Hen and Karen? Yes! Is it enough? Not anymore!

Anyway, I got a little heated and upset, but all this discourse is really just rubbing me the wrong way. Let people be upset and hurt. Their feelings are valid whether you agree.

[cherryluvss]

In the mood to get on my knees and suck off some plastic while being told how pretty I look with her cock in my mouth ₊˚ෆ

[fortunxa]

PSA: a reminder for Pride month

while Pride means different things to different people and has personal significance to each one of us, the main goal is about acceptance, celebration, and equality. it’s for the community, history, liberation, and raising awareness. it was born from protest, carved out by people who were tired of being told they didn’t belong and risked everything to fight for all of us.

pride was a riot.

so how disheartening and honestly embarrassing is it to see people WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community turning that same blade inward?

there is no hierarchy of queerness. there’s no litmus test, no “right way” to be gay, bi, trans, ace, questioning, fluid, or anything else on the spectrum that doesn’t align perfectly with your fuckass personal queer blueprint. there’s no “right way” TO SIMPLY BE. you don’t have to understand someone’s experience to respect it, and you don’t have to relate to someone to let them exist.

you think you’re better than someone because your identity is more “recognizable”? because you blend in better?

you’re not clever, you’re not edgy, you’re not “just being honest” when you mock or belittle others. you’re being cruel, and you’re doing it under the Pride banner, which makes it ten times worse. you’re not being revolutionary or providing “hot takes” when all you’re doing is punching sideways.

if your version of pride means shoving others out of the frame, you’ve misunderstood the assignment. that’s not activism, that’s ego. that’s insecurities and internalized hate dressed up as “discourse”, and it’s ugly. you are the reason some of us don’t feel safe coming out even within our own community.

we don’t fight for liberation just to recreate exclusion. we fight so everyone has the right to be who they are, love who they love, and be safe and seen while doing it.

so while you stand tall and proud, don’t forget to stand with each other, too.

get over yourselves. get a grip. get educated. you don’t speak for the community when you’re busy tearing it down from the inside.

it is not a competition. this month is about showing up, speaking up, and shutting up when it’s not your place to speak. you don’t get to play judge, jury, and executioner of someone else’s identity. being queer isn’t a club you’re the bouncer to.

and to all of those who are still figuring themselves out, who are questioning, changing, unsure, inconsistent—you still belong. you don’t need to have the “right” label or a solid definition to take up space here.

so happy Pride! stop being a bigot in a glitter hat.

[moonlightsapphic]

Reasons why someone may identify as bi lesbian (a valid identity!):

a bi woman who experiences rare attraction to men but never enough to date one.

a bi woman who was attracted to a man only once in her life, so he is like an exception.

a woman who is bisexual but monoromantic towards women, or biromantic but monosexual towards women.

a bi woman who is only attracted to non-men and occasionally fem men.

a bi woman who doesn’t date men and doesn’t intend to ever do so.

a lesbian who formerly was bisexual and now her identity has shifted, and she wants her label to reflect both.

a late-in-life lesbian who is married to a man but is comfortable staying with her husband because of their unique love/companionship.

a poly lesbian whose partner’s partners (whom they may rendezvous with) may rarely include men.

a lesbian who does not identify as “monosexual” or “monoromatic” despite only being attracted to non-men, since she feels that she is attracted to multiple non-men genders.

a lesbian in a relationship with a trans man.

a “straight” trans man who formerly identified as a masc lesbian and remains in a relationship with a lesbian.

a bi transmasc who prefers to date other transmascs as well as women.

a transfem bi woman who strongly identifies with centering her life around womanhood and wlw love.

a genderfluid lesbian.

a bisexual woman using the pre-separatism meaning of “lesbian”, back when it was an umbrella term for all sapphics.

… and many more!

*I use “woman” and “she/her” in these examples but this may apply to any genderqueer sapphics as well!

Yes, many of these experiences can be described by using one of “bi” or “lesbian”, rather than both in combination. Lesbianism includes many non-men genders and trans women! Bisexuality includes all genders including trans folks! Lesbianism is considered monosexual identity, but also in some ways multisexual, and “bi lesbian” is often used by those who strongly identify with being mspec. Labels are for our comfort in identifying ourselves and our lived experiences, as well as to accurately communicate our identities to others. We shouldn’t police them! Queer people are deviant and complex by nature! Rigid rules are for the patriarchy, not us. Labeling conventions are fully arbitrary and we should prioritise what will maximise queer folks’ happiness.

Folks spend a lot of (misplaced) energy hating on the label “bi lesbian” and want to eradicate it by claiming it is TERF propaganda—however that’s not very nuanced. There are queer elders who use this term—should we really have the audacity to tell them how to live? Ironically it’s gender essentialist in and of itself to try to put people in a box. We should remember that bisexuals and lesbians originally were all just “lesbians” (ie in the same way we use “sapphic” as an umbrella term today), and it was TERF rhetoric in second-wave feminism that resulted in lesbian separatism. A simple label used by a tiny minority can’t cause all kinds of scary lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia (as it is, endosex allocishetero people can barely tell bisexuality from lesbianism anyway and don’t know a thing about trans people either ;n;)—If it is a possibility, that’s our job as a community to fight back misinformation. :)

[iamnotdirtylaundry]

gay ponies....