#yearning to know anything about it...
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Did I start getting really emotional after being like "I wonder if anyone's done an arminian miku yet" and looking it up? No. Not at all. (Lie)
#trash rambles#does this sound stupid outside of the context of my lore?#maybe#the lore btw is that im arminian and my great great grandparents were in the genocide and i dont know much of anything about arminian#culture other than the genocide and like one or two dishes that my mom used to make for me and my brother as kids so i just this like...#yearning to know anything about it...#also i learned about the genocide from my mom and grandma telling me about it#i think i only ever hesrd about it ONCE in school and that wasnt even part of a lesson#it was part of cnn 10 bc we would watch it at the end of the class and i think the story was āturkey's government agrees that it happened#but they didnt do itā or something along thoes lines idk this was like three years ago so i dont remember but it was something like thag#like idk#its so weird to have like generational trauma from something like that and mourn a culture i never knew yk?#idk ive been thinking about this lots this past couple months and i dont know why#vent#didnt mean it to be but oh well#anyway fuck imagine dragons
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For the kissy game.
I can't really decide between a kiss in the rain or a sleepy kiss. Both would be adorable for nrmt.
If you can't decide either, ltm, and I'll throw a coin! :D
A sleepy kissā¦. I call this one āwhen you share a bed with the bestie you dream about but havenāt confessed toā



#everything is 7yg if youāre an olympic bullshitter like me#wrightworth#smooches#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#7yg#you know. when theyāre yearning and not doing anything about it. like bakas#phoenix and his chronic foot in mouth disease#fan art#aa#rendoodles#kiss meme#lets justr sayā¦. there was one bed and theyre idiots and many regrets are being had
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i love that isafrin can be the most straightforwardly romancey, wholesome pairing on a surface level and then you go one (1) level deeper and run into siffrinās seething guilt and convoluted feelings around touch and intimacy and the extent to which they want or donāt want those things in a specifically romantic way or if he was trying to seek connection and love in any way he could once he knew that Isabeau wanted those things from him in that context, and the combined power trip/self disgust at āmanipulatingā Isabeauās desires without his knowledge to make themself feel wanted and in control. and then you keep going and thereās also Isabeauās own warped self image (still, in spite of all his changes, fearing that heās someone that would be shameful to know), his āemotionally stable pillarā role and self-taught therapy talk masking his deep fears of real confrontation (struggling loop after loop to confess, not wanting Odile to confront Siffrin about their weird behavior in the sus quest bathroom talk) and how Siffrinās fear of vulnerability and Isabeauās fear of Pushing Too Hard allow both of their issues to fester unspoken long after itās clear that the problems exist.
all this to say. duality of isafrin. makes my heart full and warm and happy to see the sweet, fluffy, silly love and connection between them (mutually romantic or otherwise). and then also. the delicious, delicious complications. gnawing on them like a dog with a beloved bone
#isat#isat spoilers#mypost#isafrin#loopsafrin#sloopis#<- for what iām about to say because#and then. AND THEN. you add loop in there. and their unique convoluted feelings towards each of them#the pendulum swing between visceral hatred & jealousy & bitterness and overwhelming love & understanding & tenderness.#the guilt of loving a āreplacementā and forgetting the original. trapped in wondering what could have been in another life#if they hadnāt given it up.#AND their feelings towards isafrin as a pairing#[leans forward] itās about the Yearning. and also about how knowing the yearning is mutual doesnāt actually resolve anything#because do you Deserve it. do you deserve to be here and part of this after everything youāve done and failed to do.#is Having it any less painful than Not having it? or is just a different kind of agony#<- questions all 3 of them get to ponder.#bc isabeau is not immune to the guilt of knowing some version of him failed these people he claims to love over and over and over#until it broke one entirely and was almost too late for the other#BUT ALSO. falling in love with the same person twice. not just because of the similarities but because of the differences#<- true for both isabeau and loop#how can they not? but also how can they bear to?#siffrin and loop in a guilt contest about who Deserves happiness and acceptance more without recognizing that it can be possible for both#(not just in a romantic context but in an Everything context)#isabeauās dissonance and isolation when faced with how well siffrin and loop Know and Understand one another#both because of their shared origins and bc theyāre the only ones who know what the timeloop was Actually like#while everyone else is left piecing together scattered clues from the most tight-lipped people in existence#did you think this was an otp post. [rips off disguise] it was an ot3 post all along!!! mwahahaha!!!#to be clear every time i talk about a ship it will never just mean āthis relationship But Romanticā#i mean every facet of what makes them compelling. the love and complications are both there in every interpretation#and thatās what iām chewing on
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aaauuugh im nervous to post this. Throws this at the Toxichero fans and runs
...Also Griefer is a very aggressive kisser and Player won't admit that they enjoy it because HE KEEPS MAKING THEIR LIPS BLEED--GRIEFER STOP BUSTING THEIR LIP OPEN, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BUTT YOUR HEAD TO THEIR FACE!!! THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!!!
#block tales#blocktales#block tales griefer#blocktales player#Brad Thaniyel#toxichero#toxic hero#griefer x player#urgh im gonna hide now#im not used to drawing kissing and romance#im more of an action artist than a shipper#and very much an angst writer#this DEFINITELY did not take too many tries to get right#and this is DEFINITELY not a result of me yearning for someone i know#btw i'll be posting my Player headcanons soon#if i end up writing a self-indulgent romance fic at some point please throw a poison dart at me#because that means i thought too much about my irl crush#i am a FUNCTIONAL human being i promise#no i will not draw anything beyond this#especially with roblox game characters#in a fandom full of kids#btw if you get extremely freaky with this i will immediately BLOCK YOU#i am in the aroace spectrum#the only freaks i allow are those that do not go beyond LIMITS
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Hear me out. I know it's unlikely that Ratio would ever have been foolish enough to directly get taken in by a scam, but considering that we know:
One of the groups specifically tricked by Kakavasha before he joined the IPC was the Intelligentsia Guild
What he tricked them about was Tayzzyronth's Swarm remnants, the exact same thing we see Ratio investigating in his very first appearance in the game, and
The researchers were described as "extremely cautious"
I am surprised that "Ratio was at least somehow connected to the Intelligentsia Guild team fooled by Kakavasha before he was ever even a Stoneheart" isn't more popular with the Ratio and Aventurine fandom.
Like imagine being Dr. Ratio. You tell your colleagues, "This seems like a scam. Are you sure you should trust this 'local guide' you've made contact with? Tell me about him. A picture? Does this even look like an Egyhazan native to you? I won't save you fools from making idiotic decisions." (You end up having to clean up the aftermath of their idiotic decisions anyway. There is sand in places on your body you didn't even know existed before this. How mortifying for the Guild. For you, by association.)
Then, next thing you know, you get a mission briefing slid across your desk from your IPC connections. They want you to work with their new Stoneheart. You open the packet to see... that little bastard with the enthralling eyes who had your moronic colleagues scrambling in the dirt on a backwater planet for months. Apparently he's made a career out of fooling you your supposedly competent guildmates.
You run off to confront him. You never met him personally back then, but you deserve compensation for the idiocy you were subjected to nonetheless. He deserves to know how much of a pain in the ass he's been in your life already without ever having met your eyes--
He proceeds to shove a gun into your hands and tries to make you an accomplice to a suicide. Apparently, this is normal behavior for the man now called Aventurine. Somehow, it's supposed to prove to you that he is a sane and reliable individual.
Absolutely nothing in your life has been normal since Egyhazo.
You would like to have mundane problems, sometimes.
How do you keep ending up in this beautiful manic clever conman's orbit, and why, like binary stars, can you not escape the gravitational pull?
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#dr. ratio x aventurine#ratiorine#aventio#golden ratio#there's too many ship names I don't even know anymore#I just kind of love the idea#of Ratio having H I S T O R Y with Aventurine#before Penacony even goes down#and like#he's salty about it#but Aventurine has so many bigger issues in his life#the people involved on Egyhazo don't even really register#so he's like 'Another guy who dislikes me on principle'#'Fine I can handle this'#meanwhile Ratio is over here comparing their lives to quantum entanglement or something equally nerd-yearning#Ratio: Like mutualist symbiotes I continue to find myself inextricably mired in your schemes#Aventurine: Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about but feel free to keep going#also I'm aware that Ratio was mostly interested in Ruan Mei's ability to create a faux emanator#and not the Swarm itself or anything#but shush#let me have this
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talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
#bkdk#bakudeku#it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in#i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years#i tried to say it like āoh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaksā#but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about#not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast#it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good#and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks#i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this#like we are not consuming the same thing#i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be#i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about#i like mha an annoying amount#i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene#i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good#it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it#hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you
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tell us about Santos :3c...
My tav Santos!! He's a fighting x rogue class tiefling who's a bit worn out in life, but doesn't stop him from being the rock of the party. He's 143 years old and a seasoned weapons maker, tho it's been a few years since he's kept up with the craft. He dabbled a bit as a mercenary in his 90's, but ultimately ended up as a bartender in Baldur's Gate yearning to go back to guildwork. [Which is when he got abducted, after a shift]

Personality wise he's not the loudest nor quietest of the group (choosing to be the listener a bit more than be the talker). He can seem quite serious, but is relatively easy-going and is known to give some of his own snark back when need be. He's a realist with a good heart, but won't hesitate to lie himself (and party) out of situations and attempt questionable persuasive maneuvers to at least avoid some unnecessary bloodshed. (Tho sometimes he goes a little too far with the snappy remarks at enemies that leads to greater bloodshed)

He has a well of unwavering patience for his party members in the emotional sense, but gets incredibly exasperated by their antics and rivalry (looks at Shadowheart & Lae'zel, Gale & Astarion). He doesn't know what he's gonna do after they defeat the Absolute, but for now he'll just try and make sure that everyone in his party makes it out of this in one piece.

[Santos' tent, he collects enchanted weapons and borrows Lae'zel's grinder often]
Character Relationships:
He gets along very well with Jaheira since they have a very similar sense of humor, their friendly jabs turn into some very confusing flirting for the rest of the party. Likes to poke fun at Gale, who has a bit of a crush on him. Santos has some propensity for magic and spellcasting, but it's unrefined and he never bothered to do much with it, tho he does like to ask Gale to teach him a thing or two when they have the downtime and he has access to a wizard with knowledge that loves to talk. He rebuffed Astarion's advances quite quickly, especially since he realized why he was doing it, but they remained good friends regardless, which it seems Astarion really needed. He lets Astarion feed off of enemies since they're gonna kill them anyways, but offers himself in case if emergencies. He's really good friends with Wyll and Karlach and can be found sharing a drink often in their downtime, both of them having Santos barking with laughter. He's not much of a meddler, but he'll leave their hang outs to leave both of them alone in hopes it'll inspire something.
He and Lae'zel have an unspoken camaraderie as fighters and weapon masters, and she likes that he'll give her bullshit right back. He likes sparring with her bcs she has him eating shit and landing on his ass, but he learns a lot. He butts heads a bit with Shadowheart and Halsin, but they eventually remain on friendly terms and respect each other. Santos killed Minthara and has yet to meet Minsc.
#Here's my guy!!!!!!!!! i am too attatched to him idk if i can make another tav LOL#i technically made him in like highschool bcs me and my friend wanted to play dnd but didnt know anything about it#so we watched youtube videos for dnd character creation and left it at that bcs we didnt know anyone else that played it to make a party#i'll play dnd one day... after years of yearning to play#santos#ocs#my art
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Today on āyour ship is actually VERY CANON irlā- Electric Coal (Electra/Porter)
Electric locos are ironically great as coal haulers, theyāve been used on heavy mineral trains since the early 1900s due to their power and being great at climbing hills (and capable of regenerating power going downhill).
For an early British example, the NER EF1


For an extreme example, the Virginian Railway was a notoriously wealthy, hilly coal-hauling route that bought some absurdly large electric locomotives for dragging 9000 ton coal trains through the Appalachians


There were also several coal power plants in the western US that used GE E60 locomotives to haul long, frequent coal trains until they shut down


And as a bonus, a underground mine trains (including coal mines) are usually electric, usually battery powered, due to the flammable conditions and smoke being a problem in enclosed spaces


#stex#starlight express#thereās probably an endless list of world wide examples tbh#especially if you more broadly talk about heavy mineral trains because you get the IORE in Sweden and even more random mine lines#electric trains arenāt just subways and high speed trains. they also ~yearn for the mines~#not fully sure how easy it is to repurpose hoppers to carry other rocks but lol porter and electra could end up together at a copper mine#or iron or anything with a crapton of rocks getting moved around#ironically Iām not heavily into the revival and donāt know a ton about the fuel trucks the pairing just makes me laugh because itās REAL
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I want to watch Supernatural so baddddd. It's not even that amazing on there right now! It's not like everything is super good or fun or cute but I just NEED to see where we go from here and how. This is exactly how I was for the first half of season 6. Even though I hated it, I had to know where we went from this point. But I have schoooool.
#Curse you last week of school#Like I have to go there and waste time bc I KNOW I'm not doing anything there today#What the fuck#Hopefully I'll get into my new book and it'll be fine#But I'm afraid it's gonna be 12 hours of yearning for destiel#Because I have school AND work#But I'm thinking about them#Those fuckers#Also I have so much destiel fanfic I want to readddd#Somebody help me#Rambles#Supernatural#Spn#Spn season 6#Destiel#Castiel#Spn cas#Dean Winchester#I think tmwwbk fucked me up honestly
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cockwarming on top of her strap while she makes me go into heavy detail over all my hyperfixations and I try not to whimper and beg
āso they split apart over difference of opinions in- mmm aaahhhh god- in how to reach ascendancy and one created an order of hunters that - god itās so deep right now fuck - they consumed the blood of old ones which was thing that would slowly turn them into monsters and become the things they hunted until there was a major blight. please can I move now?!!ā
#is this going to attract the nerds at all? is this doing anything?#weāll see how long I last trying to explain lore until iām begging#also if you know what Iām talking about hit up my dms ;)#lesbian nsft#wlw nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw yearning#minors dni
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I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if iām being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#just like growing up and losing so many relationships#friendship and family relationships all of it#itās hard to remember that there are people out there who can love you and that that love will stay#regardless of whether or not you can give them something#idk all the love in my life just feels gone and i donāt really think thereās anything i love anymore sometimes#but then i remember the world is big and i should stop worrying so much for now#i dont know my life is a mess lately#and itās 5 am and i havenāt slept#and im still grieving things#and hope and patience are so hard sometimes#and thereās something about the ugly side of the whole idea of āyearningā that i think about a lot#because so much of my yearning ISNāT pretty or wistful#itās achingly desperate and lonely and uncertain#i dont know#i dont know if any of this is worded right#or if itās all nonsense and i should just be quiet and go to sleep#idk
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#ādo not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeonsā be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#āhes gonna kill youā and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#ādo you think this place could workā underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other šš she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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Pausing the horny vibes for desperate yearning
#saw someone on my feed talking about how their ex would read a lot#and every so often their partner would read their book out loud so they could listen#and now im just yearning to just cuddle up and listen to someone read for me#i spend too much time looking at screens nowadays which i know is embarrassing but i can't help it#i wish i had the energy to concentrate on anything or leave my room#but anyway#yearning for cute things#i promise im not just a whore.. maybe
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im not making jirv yearn enough in my supernatural au. i need to step up my game fr
#he wants those oblivious dog men so bad#the fact that one is around him 24/7 would have him struggling i just know it#and the fact that the other always seeks him out when he has a moment to step away from his duties would driv him insane#he needs to be YEARNING#PINING#wanting nothing more than to kiss them#but not doing anything about it because SURELY thry dont feel the same
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āOf course you have an Other Brother,ā he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. āWho else would I be if I wasnāt?ā
Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99ās fic āMari in the Pink Palaceā!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is⦠please go read it ragh
#omori#omori au#omori sunny#coraline#this fic cured my artblock and writing block partially too is there anything it canāt do#Idksomethingclever99 what are you PUTTING in this thing itās like a drug in the best way possible#Anyway this is a really lazy and terrible other brother design⦠I had so many other ideas for his outfit#I had wanted to keep the bug motifs the other mother has in her outfit as well as referencing the recital#Cause. You know#mariās perfect world#Where he gets good at the violin lmaoā¦#But I got lazy so here was a very simplified design I made#Fingers yearned for rest couldnāt draw complicated ideas I hadā¦#Anyways anyways love this fic#So much#god#i fucking love how mewo is portrayed too#Sheās like a weary mother trying to give some tough love to her kids landkrk#Sheās such an asshole but I say that affectionately#Not to mention the fact that she didnāt info dump like the cat did in coralline to mari because she was more focused on getting her home-#-and safe from the beldam than actually telling her what he was doing⦠christttt#And yes I will still call him the beldam#Them??? Idk djdjdjej#I also love how all the other friends are gahhhh⦠I canāt WAIT to see their other forms when mariās getting the eyes#Fun fact this drawing was originally meant to be a redraw of that one scene with the cocobugs#Since itās super pretty and I wanted to draw it#But itās not in the fic yet (next chapter I think?) and the author takes a lot of creative liberties which I LOVE so I wanna read the scene#First before attempting to draw it#But I really hope they lean into the uncanniness of Sunny of all people surrounding himself with bug imagery#Since that goes against what mari knows about him a LOT and will further cement that something is NOT RIGHT with this guy
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a small assortment of lyrics that make me think of...Them....
(claw machine by sloppy jane; hurricane by lord huron; kyoto by phoebe bridgers; ends of the earth by lord huron; my city by better oblivion community center; psychic wound by king woman)
#hi yes it is i#he who should be working on his bio pbls and psych and like 6 other courses#and also cleaning and getting ready for his appointments#but i felt extra gay and chose to do this instead ig š#groovygrub: channeling his own queer yearning unto newmann since 2024 āØ#btw if literally ANYONE gets ANYTHING from this!! please tell me!!! cuz i have like 60 of these bad bois chillin on my phone#(most of them are kinda really fucking sad though. was thinking about uprising too much ya know?#+11000000 psychic damage every goddamn time i do it!! and yet!!! i still do it :')#oh also i have a buncha relevant playlists but tbh i don't think the world is ready for that sweet hell rn)#newmann#pacific rim#pacrim#newt geiszler#newton geiszler#hermann gottlieb#k sci#k science#favorite music#music#lyrics#words#quotes#sloppy jane#lord huron#phoebe bridgers#better oblivion community center#king woman
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