#you go and research more and find out that hey you're both right and wrong in certain aspects and its not a black and white thing

[sleepii-moth]

the internet sucks because no one else watched the same 3 hour long video that provided in depth analysis and nuanced takes about something and now everyone is just spitting out the same 2 opposing points in an attempt to debate without ever having a chance to get the other person to consider their views at least slightly which has caused the discourse to devolve into needless guilt tripping and i need you people to SHUT UP!!! OKAY!

[revelboo]

Politely requesting some tfp ratchet when you're in the mood for his flavor of character🍀💕💕

Sure

The Weakends Pt 9

TFP Ratchet x Reader

• Back to this game again. Avoiding him and angry. And even understanding why, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. You're not avoiding the base this time at least, probably because you know he'll just go bring you back again. Unfortunately, you're as stubborn as he is and he knows you're not going to back down. Not until he admits that he's not okay. That he's exhausted and so tired of the fighting. That he's not recharging because the nightmares come for him when he shutters his optics and because he needs to keep working. Keep researching for viable energon alternatives. They’re all depending on him and he can’t let them down.

• Feeling those optics on you, the fine hair at your nape prickles with awareness, but you don’t look back at Ratchet. Pointedly ignoring him as Bumblebee warbles unhappily, picking up on the tension between you both. Oh, that’s right. You’re the only one tense, because he’s fine. He’s always fine. It’s almost a relief when Fowler stops by, rising from the kid’s couch and going to talk with him since he’s apparently the only other adult in the room. “Hey,” you say, and he glances up from fighting with his tie.

• Stiffening as you lean on the rail beside Fowler, he wishes he was closer. That he could hear your conversation as you smile at something the man says. That tension relaxing from your shoulders as you reach out to touch his arm with a smile. Just a harmless touch, but he hates it. Hates seeing you smile and laugh with the other human because it’s a pointed reminder that he’s not human and never will be. That eventually, you’ll find another human to spend your life with and stop spending it with him. That he can’t be what you need and the thought freezes him in place. Because when had he started thinking of you like that? As more than a friend? Because it’s true, he does want more than just your time. And it’s one more thing he can never admit to you.

• “Don’t look now, but doc looks like you kicked his puppy. What did you do?” Fowler murmurs and despite yourself, you look. And the way he’s staring at you, that forlorn expression is something you’ve never seen before. Gone so quickly when he realizes you’re looking at him and he turns and walks away. “I’ve got to go,” you say, touching Fowler’s arm and hurrying along the catwalk. What had that look been? He’s always so guarded, but whatever that was had been raw. Achingly so. “Doc!”

• Gritting his denta, part of him wants to bend and reach for you. Feel you in his servos. Instead he stops with his back to you. Because those impossible thoughts are still there, hurting him with things he knows aren’t meant for him. “What?” It comes out gruffer than he means and he hears your shoes scuff to a stop. Almost wants to drive you away right then, to make you so furious you leave and never return. Because the longer he has you beside him, the more it’s going to hurt when you go. And it already feels like his spark is rending apart.

• Staring up at his back, you’re half tempted to pick up the argument right where you’d left it. Would it be so bad to admit that he’s not ‘fine?’ That he needs help? He can’t and you know it. Neither one of you any good at just talking, always snapping at each other. Hurting each other. And you’re just so tired of it. No matter what you’d seen, he won’t own up to whatever’s wrong. Won’t let you help, because he thinks you can’t. “Never mind.” Turning, you start back the way you came. Because no matter what you say, it’ll end with both of you arguing and angry. Too much alike for either of you to bend and you don’t want to do it anymore. Tired of reaching out and only getting hurt.

• Servos curling under into fists, he knows it’s a good thing. That he should begin distancing himself before he gets anymore wrapped up in you. Because he needs the sound of your voice, needs those tired smiles, and the touch of those little hands on his arm. He’s seen you fall apart crying and he’s seen you work through the exhaustion and fear. Stronger than he ever would have guessed an organic could be. And he’s turning, mass shifting. Feeling the strain of becoming so much smaller, of burning energy he didn’t have to spare. But he can’t let you go, too selfish because he needs this. Needs you with him. Almost stumbling as he catches up and reaches to snag the back of your covering. And you turn and you’re so much closer like this, letting him notice details he never had before as he grabs your upper arm and pulls you to him. “I’m not okay.”

Previous

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[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | twelve.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!

Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.

Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.

"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.

Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.

All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."

"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."

"Course."

"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.

"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."

"I see."

"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today." 

"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking. 

"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.

Fuck.

You haven't heard from San either.

The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.

—FLASHBACK

"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.

Was everyone in on you and San?

Is this what everything has come to?

"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"

"Hm." You hum. "I guess."

"You guess? How was the conference?"

"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.

"Haven't seen her."

"Hm, okay."

"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.

"I gotta run behavior soon."

"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"

"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."

"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.

"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.

"Sunwoo."

"Huh?"

"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."

"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."

"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."

"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.

"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.

And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.

He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.

—END

Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:

Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student.  'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...

And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him. 

He should've known the storm was coming.

Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.

"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.

He did not mean her though, especially today.

"Iseul."

"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.

He knows Iseul always has something to say.

"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.

"I think you might already know." He shrugs.

"Enlighten me."

"San."

"What about him?"

"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."

"He's a grown man."

"And you're the chair."

"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."

"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"

"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit. 

"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.

"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"

"I'm not even doing anything to him—"

"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.

So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.

"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."

"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"

"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"

"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"

"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.

"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile. 

"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"

"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department. 

And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.

The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.

Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.

"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."

"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.

"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."

"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."

"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.

"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."

"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"

"I just.. it just seems off, is all."

"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"

"It's not like her."

"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."

"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."

"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand. 

Face to face.

To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.

"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."

"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.

"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."

"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"

"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."

"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."

"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."

"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.

"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."

"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.

"Thanks."

"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."

"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."

"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—

namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later. 

namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.

san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.

namjoon: thanks.

He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.

So, what does he do?

He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.

He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.

"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him. 

"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.

"You okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."

"Okay." San manages to respond softly.

"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.

"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"

"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.

It's far too late for that.

"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.

"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"

"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."

"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"

"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.

"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."

"So, what's gonna happen?"

"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her." 

"They won't kick her out, right?"

"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"

"No, I'm not."

"She's worth it to you?"

"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"

"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.

"Do you get where people are taking this?"

"No, quite frankly, I don't."

"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."

"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."

"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true. 

"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"

"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"

"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.

"Do you love her?"

"If I say yes?"

"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."

"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"

"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."

"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;

Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.

"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."

"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "

"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.

"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words. 

Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?

Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?

Is he selfish?

The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.

He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.

He is scared.

"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.

"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"

"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.

Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.

When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.

His eyes don't glow like they used to.

His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.

He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

—read 12.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[stranger-stevieee]

Risk

Summary: You have a bad habit of falling in love too quickly, but is it really that bad if a certain someone happens to feel the same way? Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: use of y/n, fluff, angst? (maybe), cliche writing, first kiss

Look at me now Said I wouldn't do it, but I hunted you down Know you had a girl, but it didn't work out

Steve Harrington was very sought after. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You tried very hard to not fit into that stereotype but you failed miserably.

There was just something about him that drew you in. You told yourself that you wouldn't fall at his feet like every other girl at Hawkins High but you couldn't help it.

Now, Steve wasn't really known as a relationship guy. He was more of a "let's go out once or twice, have sex, then onto the next girl" type of guy (he was called "King Steve" for a reason after all) so it was a shock to everyone when he started dating Nancy Wheeler.

You were sad, just like every other girl, that you had lost your chance with him but when you heard about their breakup after a year of being together, you couldn't help but feel like you actually had a chance.

I'm not proud Guess I'm just scared of you shootin' it down You can just talk, and I'll stare at your mouth You could be bad, but I wanna find out,

Giving in to him wasn't your proudest moment but it was inevitable. You had decided that if you wanted him, you would have to go get him.

See that's what all these girls were doing wrong. They would wait for him to come to them and ask them out, when in reality if they wanted a chance they would have to take it. So that's exactly what you did.

You were in your history class that you happened to share with Steve and the teacher had just announced a research project that would take all month to complete.

Picking a partner would've been easy had your only friend in the class been there that day, but sadly she had stayed home for whatever reason. The bright side was, now you could take a chance.

You got up out of your seat and walked straight over to his. You were a bit nervous but decided it was now or never.

"Hey, Steve!" You spoke loudly due to your nerves but luckily he found it funny.

"Hey..." he paused

"Oh, it's Y/n," you said embarrassed that you had been fawning over this man that didn't even know your name.

"Right! That's right, I- I knew that"

"Yeah," you laughed it off, "So do you have a partner yet? For the project, I mean?" You stuttered over your words a bit, albeit scared of the potential recegection coming your way.

"No, actually, I don't"

"Okay, cool... do you wanna work on it together? Maybe?"

'Here it comes' You thought 'He's gonna say no, laugh in your face and...'

"Sure."

'Oh. Well, that was easy.'

And I wake up in the middle of the night With the light on, and I feel like I could die 'Cause you're not here, and it don't feel right

It's 4:28am and you can't stop thinking about him. You woke up from your dream almost 30 minutes ago and haven't been able to get back to sleep.

This dream just messed everything up because now you've come to the conclusion that you're in love with Steve Harrington.

This wouldn't be your first time loving someone but it is your first time being in love. There's a difference. You tend to love rather quickly and when you love, you love hard.

It takes a while for you to stop loving someone. But you have a feeling things will be different this time.

You think about what it would feel like if he were with you in that moment. But he's not, and it sucks.

God, I'm actually invested Haven't even met him Watch this be the wrong thing, classic God, I'm jumpin' in the deep end It's more fun to swim in Heard the risk is drowning, but I'm gonna take it

A couple weeks into working on the project and you still barely knew anything about him. The only thing you both talked about was the project and how it's coming along. You were getting nowhere.

"Hey, what do you think about coming to my place today?"

You had been digging through your locker looking for a specific book for your next class when Steve came up to you and it's safe to say that his words shocked you.

"What?" you asked

"Do you want to come work on the project at my place today?" Although he didn't sound like it, he was nervous asking you to come over.

"Sure!"

'Maybe she is interested in me' he thought

His heart fluttered at the sight of your excited smile.

Isn't it fun thinkin' I'm right when I'm probably wrong? Holding my breath like I met someone Knowing damn well that I haven't been touched by you In my head, you're in the car, and you're comin' to me And you get to my door, and you can't even speak But I think that it's sweet, yeah, I think that you're sweet

You knew Steve was rich, but you didn't know he was this rich. Standing in front of his house you were a bit worried about what was to come.

Once you finally worked up the nerve, you lifted your fist to knock on his front door. Inside Steve had seen your car pull up and stood by the door waiting for you to knock.

When he finally heard it, he waited a few seconds, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

"Welcome..." he sighed "Sorry I don't know why I said that, that was weird, let me start over... hey."

You had a small smile on your face trying not to laugh. "Hi... can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah of course."

"Thanks," you let out a little giggle

You walked in and looked around in awe. His house was 2x the size of yours. "Your house is amazing," you whispered.

"Yeah, it's great I guess. It does get lonely sometimes but... anyways we should probably finish the project."

He walked you over to the dining room where he already had his textbook laid out. You both sat down, took out everything you needed, and got to work.

After an hour of working you had finally finished the project and it had only taken you about 3 weeks. Even though you were finished, Steve didn't want you to leave yet so he suggested having an early dinner.

"I wouldn't have pinned you as a cook, Harrington," you said with a small smirk on your face.

"Yeah, well when there's no one around to cook for you, there's only two options. I can cook for myself or get takeout, and I obviously have to stay healthy so takeout's not ideal. Gotta stay in shape for the ladies, you know?"

'Maybe he isn't interested in me' you thought

"The ladies. Right." you let out a nervous laugh.

Too soon to tell you "I love you" Too soon to tell you "I love you" Too soon to tell you "I love you"

Steve could tell you were nervous to tell him something. You were standing in front of him on his front porch unsure if you were ready to say what you wanted to say. But you knew you couldn't keep it in any longer.

It had been months since you both finished the project and you had become even closer than before.

Ever since that day at his house, you've fallen for him more and more each day. And even though it might be too soon, you have to tell him.

"Umm... can I talk to you?"

"Sure, come in." He said stepping out of the doorway to let you in. "So, what's up?"

"Uh, so, I just wanted to say that... you've been an amazing friend."

Steve let out the breath he was holding and sighed with disappointment. That is definitely not what he wanted to hear. The exact opposite actually, but he let you continue anyway.

"But I can't just pretend that that's all I want to be. I love you and I know it's probably too soon to be saying this but—"

Steve suddenly stepped forward and brought his hand up to cup your face which shut you up quickly.

“Is it ok if I kiss you?” he whispered

“I would like that very much.”

He leaned in and connected his lips with yours and, if it was even possible, you fell in love with him even more. The kiss was soft and tender, way different than what you thought it would be.

It was the first time your lips were meeting, but you immediately knew that it wouldn’t be the last.

Steve was the first to pull away and as much as he didn't want to he knew he had to.

"I love you too, by the way"

"Good"

You're the risk, I'm gonna take it

[spacebaby1]

Ghost of you (Law Trafalgar x Reader. ft Cora-San) Part 4

You had left a note to inform Law that you were out working on your "research," but you were on your way to look for the devil fruit. You had been walking for a few hours now crossing on the map wherever you were sure it was a dead end.

'Can you at least explain why you are doing this?' Cora-San spoke, appearing beside you as you walked, you shrugged, 'doing what?' You asked, not taking your eyes off the map. 'The devil fruit, and why you are in need of it? Don't you know that devil fruit eaters can't swim?'

'I already can't swim'

'But you are a pira-'

'Map maker,' you explained, 'I don't remember calling myself a pirate. I never did anything pirate. If i would be honest with you, I was just at the wrong place at the right time to meet Captain.' Cora-San chuckled, 'yet, you still call Law your captain.' It was your turn to chuckle, 'I mean he is the captain, and he pretty much saved my life, so I am very grateful for him and again; he's nice! I like him and don't you wanna talk to him?'

'What do you mean by that he saved you?' Cora-San asked, probably not hearing the last line you spoke. 'I was thrown away by my parents and raised by this old lady. She wasn't nice, that I can say. I was clearly not her favourite, so I kept myself away from her sight, and one day, I accidentally met Captain. Well, I was in an disagreement or a fight whatever you call it with this giant men, but I happened to be lucky because I ran into Captain and he gave the men a beaten they never got before,' you laughed at the memories, 'and he asked me if I had a home...I told him the truth, that I was alone and ever since he and the crew were home to me. I would do anything for him, he's been the nicest to me than anyone ever was, it's a cruel world when you're alone and very cold, just like now! How about we go there?' You pointed in far distance to the end of the town.

Cora-San pouted at your words, but he smiled happily at how your eyes light up whenever you talked about law. You both walked till you reached the end of the town and near a huge tree you placed your map in bag and went to look for the devil fruit, after looking around the tree you raised your head only to find the shining red devil fruit on the top of the tree; you beamed in happiness as you jumped up and down, 'I found it! I found it!'

Pulling out the gun the Law had given you for safety reasons you shot at the three and after two shots the fruit fell in your hands as you dropped the gun, 'Hey, you!' You turned towards the deep voice; there stood two men larger than you smirking, 'hand us that devil fruit.'

You looked at the men, then the devil fruit, then back at the men. Without another word, you ate the devil fruit in one go only to gag as the taste of it almost chocking. One of the men grabbed you by the hair, and you yelped before kicking him on the foot and running away, still gagging at the aftertaste of the devil fruit. You thought the men would let it go, but you were wrong.

They were after you as the more you ran, the more weak you felt yourself getting. There was indeed something written about the person who consumes this devil fruit will face a moment of severe weakness the moment they eat it until they use it for the very first time. You kept taking turns as you ran and the only thing that was familiar to your vision now was that same gravestone, 'C-Cora-San' You sighed before dragging yourself towards the gravestone and falling face first on the concrete with your hand flat on the surface. The men laughed as they approached you, only to be stopped by the sheer blue light that almost blinded them. They fell on the ground.

You gasped as you tried to keep your eyes open, but your vision was blurry. You saw what looked like your captain and heard the faint voice, 'Keep your hands away from her.' That sounded nothing like your captain but more like...

'Cora-San?' You passed out.

[anarcoqueer1994]

I have so many WIPs i started that I am ignoring bc I loved them, I'm just stuck. But here is a little fluff.

Zeb had not expected this, today was supposed to be a regular day, one where he would spend the day helping the crew prepare for whatever their next mission off world was. Apparently, Kallus had different plans though.

He had been outside the ship first thing this morning, waiving at Zeb as he came out of the haul.

"Uh, Garazeb. Hi." he jogs up to him, some sort of basket in his hand. "Are you busy today, um, right now?" he sound almost nervous, something uncharacteristic of the usually confident blonde.

Zeb finds it endearing, honestly. "Hey Sasha," He notices what looks like a blush form on the other man's face when the nickname comes out. Does he always blush like that Zeb questions to himself. And do his freckles always look this cute? "I was going to help around the Ghost, today." Zeb answers honestly.

Kallus' shoulders drop, disappointed. But before he can say anything, Hera comes from behind Zeb, "You're good, Captain Orrelios. Take the day off, you deserve it." She says before walking off.

Zeb sees the way Kallus' face lights up at those words, and Zeb suddenly feels like his heart is going to pound through his chest. He tries to keep it cool, they are just friends after all. "Eh, I guess I'm free." He smiles.

"Excellent. I was wondering if you would like to join me for hike today?" He says, back in his more confident demeanor.

"Yea, that sounds good. " Zeb smiles back.

And that's how they ended up here, in front of a water fall, deep in the forest. They had hiked for hours, and despite Kallus' protests that it was random, Zeb was pretty sure his friend had planned this spot. They spent sometime sparring and playing in the water together; Zeb tried not to stare at Kallus' toned chest when his shirt came off. He is not sure if he succeeded. Luckily for him, Kallus was just as distracted by him.

Now they sit drying off, on some dinky blanket Kallus had brought, sharing the lunch that had been in that basket. If Zeb didn't know any better, he would think this was a date. So he asks. "Alex, can I ask you something?" he turns so he can face the blonde who is still staring at the waterfall in front of them."

Kallus, turns to meet his face. "Uh sure, anything."

"Did you ask me...I mean was this all a date?" Zeb leans on his arm, inching closer to the ex-imp.

The blush from earlier makes another appearance before Kallus can choke out, "Would it be the worst if it was?" he tries to keep eye contact, tries to appear confident even as he is terrified of Zeb's response.

"No, I don't think it would be. " Zeb gives a toothy grin, hoping he is reading this situation right.

But then Kallus pulls away, and Zeb thinks something is wrong. But then Kallus is digging through the basket, pulling out a piece of paper at the bottom. Before Zeb has too much time to worry, Kallus starts reading from the paper.

Zeb's jaw drops, its Lasat...the language. Yes, everyone had known basic by the time Lasan was...you know. But they had preserved their language, and it is the language still used in formal situations on Lira San.

If he could blush, he would. His face is warm because what Kallus was saying, obviously well practiced, only stumbling on a few words, was used in traditional courting rituals, more precisely, when asking someone to be their mate.

At the end though, he noticed some deviation from the traditional words, Kallus adding what roughly translates to "I love you Garazeb, and I hope you will give me the opportunity to earn that love back from you."

Kallus is practically shaking when he is finished, nerves getting the best of him as he tentatively meets Zeb's eye. "Well?"

In response, Zeb leans forward, resting both hands on either side of the blonde's face. "You don't need to earn my love, freckles. You already got it." He smirks before resting his head against Kallus'. Kallus had done enough research to understand that Zeb was scent marking him, and he had never felt more loved or in love then in that moment.

They spent the rest of the day by the falls, switching between kissing and just letting their skin touch, marking each other as theirs.

[karvroom]

10 Things I Hate About Katsuki Bakugo

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥

⇦ 006. Several Assholes in One Day

007. Convincing the Brute

Sero and Kirishima peered into the classroom at first, scoping out the sight. They ventured into the dangerous territory once they spotted their target. The pair stuck close together, nearly holding hands in a way that would make you think they were scared shitless.

"Go." Kirishima whispered to Sero, pointing at the burly blonde with a torch in his possession.

They were in the welding and mechanics class. They knew Bakugo would be there because that's where their previous encounter with him was. Cautiously, they wandered deeper into the scene.

"No, you go." Sero whispered back, teensy bit louder than his friend.

"I went before." Kirishima groaned as Sero pushed him forward. He took note to get back at the ravenette later down the line. The red-head gulped as he walked into the vicinity of Bakugo. He exhaled before speaking to the frightening blonde, "We know what you're trying to do with (Y/N) Ashido."

"Is that right? What do you plan to do about it?" Bakugo shouted over the noise of the machine, making him sound almost ten times angrier than he normally sounded.

Kirishima watched Bakugo work. The veins in his arms popping through his skin as he moved the equipment in different directions to perfect his masterpiece. The flames spouting from the tip of the torch ignited a certain kind of fire in his eyes. It was a little intimidating to say the least.

"Help you out." Kirishima shyly admitted.

"Why's that?"

"The situation is," Sero stammered, stepping in before Kirishima said the wrong thing. He hooked his arm over his friend's shoulders. "my man Kirishima here has a major jones for Mina Ashido."

Bakugo stopped the flames by turning off the machine, spinning to look at the two meek boys in front of him. "What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?"

"Hey!" Kirishima said, about to spoil the entire conversation they had rehearsed before walking in.

He was offended for Mina, wanting to protect and defend her at all costs—even if she couldn't remember his name. Sero held Kirishima back, pushing him behind his figure. Bakugo turned away, walking to a different area of the room. He was more focused on the project than the conversation and it showed.

"I, uh—I think I speak correctly when I say that Kirishima's love is pure, purer than, say, Denki Kaminari's."

Bakugo looked at the pair, shrugging at their words. "Look, I'm in this for the cash. Kaminari can plow whoever he wants." The blonde dropped the object onto a desk, observing the details under a light. He reached his hand to touch and readjust the parts of the weld.

"Okay, there will be no plowing." Kirishima said defensively, starting to push through Sero's back.

He knew he didn't stand a chance against someone as tough as Bakugo, but it was the manly thing to do—to stick up for someone even if they weren't around.

Sero put his hands on Kirishima's chest, pushing him out of Bakugo's direction. He held his hands up in a way to say he's handling it.

"Bakugo, uh," Bakugo moved from one desk to another, the two traveled with him. It was as if they were attached to his hip, and Bakugo was starting to get annoyed by it. "let me explain something to you. We set this whole thing up so Kirishima can get the girl. Kirishima. Kaminari's just a pawn."

Bakugo uncapped a marker, preparing to draw on a sheet of paper at the desk. His finger pointed to both Kirishima and Sero, "So, you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast."

"Absolutely." Sero nodded in agreement with his words. He watched as Bakugo began to move the tip of the marker against the paper. "We'll do some research, we'll find out what she likes. We're your guys."

Sero snaked his arm around Kirishima's shoulders, shaking him a little as he spoke. Kirishima shook off Sero's affection, gaining the attention of Bakugo once he started talking, "And he means that in a strictly non-prison movie type of way."

"Let's start here." Sero cleared his throat, taking a yellow paper from his pocket and handing it to Bakugo, "Now, Friday night, Tenya Iida is having a party. It's the perfect opportunity."

Iida wasn't actually throwing a banger like Sero implied. It was a study session Iida initially set up for the AV Club. Before Kirishima came to the school, Sero was the president, but Iida took over, meaning Sero wanted revenge. So, as petty as the boy was, he reprinted copies of the study session, but changed it to a party. It was a one-sided rivalry.

"Perfect opportunity for what?" Bakugo briefly looked away from the paper, only returning his gaze to read the address and time.

"For you to take out (Y/N)."

Bakugo picked up the blowtorch and handed the flyer back to Sero, "I'll think about it."

────୨ৎ────

"So, have you heard about Tenya Iida's party?" Kirishima asked Mina.

They decided to take a stroll after school to re-evaluate the plan. Kirishima would fill Mina in about their findings so far. They travelled to a small overpass that was cleared underneath, making a great spot for a hang out. Though, Mina wasn't the biggest fan of how outdoorsy it was.

"Yes, and I really, really, really want to go." Mina responded, finally reaching level ground with Kirishima. He held out a hand for her to jump off a dirt ledge, gracefully landing on the dirt. "But you know I can't. Not unless my sister does."

"Yeah, I know. I'm working on that, but so far, you know, she's not going for my guy. She's not a..."

"K.D. Lang fan? No." Mina confirmed, sitting on a bench. "I found a picture of Jared Leto in her drawer once, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies."

"Okay, so that's the kind of guys she likes—like, pretty guys." Kirishima repeated, trying to get some more confirmation out of Mina.

Mina shook her head, "I don't know. All I've ever heard her say is that she'd die before dating a guy that smokes."

"Okay, all right, no smoking. What else?"

"You're asking me to investigate the inner workings of my sister's twisted mind? I don't think so." Mina crossed her arms over her chest. She looked away from Kirishima to observe her surroundings. Dirt coated the area, as well as bushes and fallen leaves.

"Well, nothing else has worked. We need to go behind enemy lines here."

Mina was quick to take action, suggesting they head back to your house and search your room for any further clues. She seemed to have no remorse as she searched the drawers of your desk. Her fingers fumbled through various loose sheets of paper for school, guitar tabs, etc. Nothing that held any significance to the situation.

Mina stumbled across a pile on top of your desk, reading off each item before handing it to Kirishima to sort through.

"Okay, here we go. Class schedule, reading list, date book, concert tickets, concert tickets." Mina continued her search while Kirishima awkwardly stood, occupying the entrance of your room. Mina opened a drawer where you kept your clothes, a smirk appearing as she lifted an article of clothing. "Aha! Black panties!"

"What does that tell us?" Kirishima bluntly stated, kind of uncomfortable in your room.

The walls were lined with posters from different bands and music artists. An easel for your paintings was sat at the end of your bed, the current canvas being covered by a towel to hide its face. Your room reminded him of a funhouse but for feminists.

"She wants to have sex someday, that's what." Mina explained, stretching the underwear to its full view before balling it up and throwing it back in the drawer.

Kirishima was speechless at the level of comfortability your sister had to have to touch your panties. He figured it was maybe a girl thing, but it still weirded him out. He stuttered, "You—she could just like the color."

"You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it."

"So, uh," Kirishima started, stepping closer to Mina as he lifted his brows. "can I see your room?"

"No." Mina looked at him almost in shock—as if he had asked her to cut off her arm. She brushed a piece of her hair from her face, nervously speaking "A girl's room is very personal."

Oh, the irony.

◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢

⇨ 008. Bikini Kill, the Raincoats and Letters to Cleo

taglist🫐 @katsukota @wheezdostuff @honeydwitch @chuugarettes @suckstobrlaurie @the-hangry-otter @napbatata

[riyangiis]

flowers for you ! ─ han yujin

you've had a crush on yujin for so long, you just gave up on trying anything because you're nowhere near his level. but rumors started to go around about him and another idol in your school, you couldn't help but be jealous.

pairing , han yujin x reader

warnings , idol!classmate!yujin, idol! oc, rushed..

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 !

han yujin, a name known all around your school. insanely talented, unbelievably attractive, his whole existence is precious, and so many more. you were absolutely nowhere near his level. he's adored by many and probably has his own group of admirers.

you know there are so many other talented people like him in your school, so you don't even bother and try to get him to notice you unlike delusional daydreamers who can't seem to catch a break.. chocolates here, letters there.. you just sort of ignore him the whole time to ease the pain of knowing that there isn't a single chance of him liking you back.

just one thing caught your attention, seo jiwon. she's the rising star of the infamous group starlinx. the frequently praised and adored, the super talented maknae, the drop-dead gorgeous girl. she was exactly what you were scared of.

jiwon's had her own share of admirers too, but rumors started going around stating that yujin and jiwon have a thing for each other after a fan recorded their interaction in school. it's nothing really, socializing at it's finest. but fans started realizing how 'good' the both of them would be for each other. you felt a little bit of jealousy bubble up at the thought.

nevermind. articles like k-daily use their aesthetic and unique style more than the main focus of the entire website. so it shouldn't matter at all, right? maybe. you snapped out of your thoughts and went to a specific app to see other's opinion on this. you scrolled on twitter and find some tweets about the whole situation.

this whole idea may sound stupid, but you really thought of fully ignoring both jiwon and yujin as if you were only able to sneak a few glances with them whenever you got lucky. give up.. it's not like they will notice and as if it's gonna do anything major.. (maybe)

you turned your phone off and started getting comfortable in your bed, trying to get some sleep. all you could think about was yujin, jiwon, yujin, jiwon, it was suffocating. if anything you should be drowning in your soft bed and get some sleep, not drown in those stupid thoughts.

what should you do tomorrow? just let them be? safest option but your intrusive thoughts or your heart will never agree to that. be mean to them? might get cancelled by their fans around the school. fully ignore them and act like they never existed and dodge every option that leads to them? maybe.

"gosh jiwon, no wonder people called you helpful."

yujin sighed and dropped the notepad with a million ideas to make the first move. for who you ask? you'll see. he checked each page to see how many recommendations jiwon did with a whole lot of research about what that lucky person likes and possibly wants in a guy.

"how do you even do this?"

yujin's face was full of shock and wonder, jiwon smirked and looked and yujin's reaction in satisfaction. she snatched the notepad and flipped every page to boost her ego a little bit more.

"hey, it's me, the super wonderful maknae, jiwon! you'll never get anything wrong with me around!"

"i don't understand how you're good at this more than taking simple notes and putting the teacher's lectures to use."

jiwon slowly looked at yujin to create a more dramatic effect, she stared at him as if she just failed her exams. yujin just sits there confused.

"was i wrong?"

jiwon smacked yujin in his shoulder playfully and made sure he wasn't hurt at all, yujin acted as if he just got shot and played along with her.

"all we need to do is focus on the main thing, get [name] to like you and not get scolded or caught."

a camera from afar failed to hear their conversation and just snapped a picture of yujin and jiwon at the back of the school, jiwon seemed to notice an awkward presence and looked around in her surroundings, yujin followed. the person slowly walked away without the both of them knowing that they pretty much screwed their plan up. a little bit i guess.

the bell rings, a few people sigh after getting tired of hearing the teacher's boring lesson in mathematics. everyone grabbed their bags and rushed out of the classroom. jiwon and yujin involved. jiwon sneakily watched the both of you exit the room, why do you look more gloomy than usual? yujin hold the chocolates in his hand feeling a little nervous, he walked up to you and tapped your shoulder, you continue walking.

"hello?"

you continue walking.

"i'm busy."

he tried to catch up and stopped in front of you. in which you tried to pass by him, is anything wrong? you usually tried to greet him but his fans were always near him that time. he gently pulled you to a private spot and held you as if you were delicate. you blushed at the thought, but snapped out of it.

"what is it that you want?"

"i was about to ask if we could hang out for lunch, since you were busy i just wanted to give you these."

yujin opened his hand that had pieces of your favorite chocolate inside. you slowly took them and kept them inside your pocket. he knew what you liked?

"wait.. why are you giving me this?"

oh, yujin didn't think about that. he tried to brush it off with a pretty bad excuse.

"i always saw you buy them in the store or eat them at least once a day. and you're really kind to me and treat me like a normal person instead of some deity.. i just wanted to give you these as a thank you.."

yujin nervously looks down at the floor with his face fully red. he tries to cover his blushy state with one hand but you noticed right away.

"i.. thank you, i don't really know what to say. don't hide yourself, yujin. you look so cute right now."

you teased him and removed his hand covering his face and held it. you remembered that he asked you to hang out with him, you can't miss that opportunity.

"uh, also, we can hang out another time if you want? i can ditch my friends-"

"what? no need to ditch your plans.. that's pretty ridiculous to do for someone you only interacted with a few times.."

"someone? you're the han yujin! even if i tell my friends they will probably get it.."

there goes your blushing yujin again. he's all giggly as well, you could honestly ditch everything just to see yujin blushing. maybe that's just how adorable he is.

"maybe we can hang out at the park, if you're free at saturday?"

and there it is. you finally got to have a pretty long conversation with him, is this a dream? whatever. you just had to get prepared for saturday, get your best outfit, maybe prepare incase anything happens.

"what do you mean you're gonna hang out with someone?"

gyuvin asks yujin confused, they had a packed up schedule and this is the first time yujin was able to hang out with someone.

"are they special? what did they do for that hang out? is it jiwon asking you to do your 'secret sessions'? what is it??"

gosh, gyuvin really sounds like a curious mother. curiosity kills the cat (ricky) you know? (probably why he's really curious)

"hyung, calm down. were only studying for a quiz.."

yujin looked down on the floor knowing he messed up big time, that horrible excuse did not do anything but peak gyuvin's curiosity more.

"a quiz?? you can ask hao hyung for help.. or maybe gunwook.. what is it that you need help for?? are you hiding something from me??"

yujin inhaled and tried to explain to gyuvin about everything.

"uhm.. iwantedtoaskjiwonforhelpbecauseilikesomeoneandiwantedtomakethefirstmovesoiaskedthemtohangoutwithmenowweregoingtotheparkonsaturdaybutidon'tknowwhattodo."

gyuvin's brain was processing on what yujin just said. holy, his son is a rapper too?

"wait wait, YOU LIKE SOMEONE??????"

gyuvin shouted out loud enough for the other members to hear.

"be quiet!"

hanbin, zhanghao, and ricky scolded gyuvin for #1 being too loud, #2 disrupting hao's precious beauty sleep, and #3 ricky just wants to scold gyuvin. gyuvin's jaw is still on the floor after what yujin just said. him? liking someone? his son is growing up?

"wait, i have an idea."

gyuvin dragged ricky and hanbin to a flower shop and asked hanbin which one should yujin pick for his.. crush..

"what are their preferences anyway?"

yujin looked around and spotted a bouquet full of pink tulips.

"this, i once saw in their instagram post that they liked pink tulips."

ricky looked at the price and the quality of the flowers. hanbin seemed impressed by yujin.

"pink tulips.. affection, caring, good wishes, and love.. not as deep at red tulips, which is good because you guys are still kids. impressive yujin."

ricky grabbed the bouquet and his wallet to pay for it. they walked out of the store and talked about what yujin should do on the way back to the dorms.

(i cant add more pics so pretend this is a divider)

it's saturday, you decided to pick a casual but good-looking outfit. you tried to look as presentable as you can, you're literally gonna hang out with an idol. yujin probably has better things to do.

you walked all the way to the park and waited for yujin to meet you at the spot you both agreed on. you waited for a little while until a familiar voice called your name. yujin walked up to you holding something behind his back with that cute smile he has.

"what's that behind your back?"

he slowly revealed the bouquet of pink tulips. you got flustered and took the bouquet, the price tag was still attached, it looks pretty expensive for flowers.. you looked at yujin in shock, how did he know? he just smiled in satisfaction. it's obvious that you love his gift.

"flowers, for you."

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hey we've been thinking about that "OSDD was a temporary diagnosis" post for a while and. it makes complete sense what you guys said but like. we can't get ANYONE to diagnose us as anything CDD, let alone anything that isn't going to give us the treatment equivalent of slapping a bandaid on a stab wound. Is there like, anywhere we could look further into P-DID/DID research on the subject? We're not comfortable moving off of the self diagnosis of OSDD-1b yet so we wanna be triple sure to get as much information as possible.

Thankies 💕💕💕

- 🐑 & 🌸 of the Constellation Collective

There's places all over to find that info, but I want to encourage you not to overthink it. You can dig deeper, you absolutely should, but the label... it doesn't matter. It's really, truly okay to get this one wrong and switch around between the labels or use them interchangeably. I promise. You don't need to be right, because you're right regardless (unless it's a misdiagnosis, but I'm going to talk about that at the end of this, because it's important).

I am diagnosed OSDD, but I call myself DID. It's easy, I understand that there's not that big of a difference, no one is going to yell at us (me or you) if it turns out that we have the other one. We're not misrepresenting ourselves. If it turns out I would only ever be diagnosed with OSDD, that doesn't mean I was wrong using the DID label, or that I was even mislabelling myself.

Whether you're diagnosed with DID or OSDD largely depends on where you live. I made a post about this a while back but I can't find it. The US is more likely to diagnose OSDD with minor amnesia than the UK. They're more likely to call minor amnesia DID (as they should). It's literally a dice throw, and not that important.

To quote my BFF, Colin Ross,

The dividing line between DID and most cases of dissociative disorder not otherwise specified is arbitrary [or OSDD]. Most cases of DDNOS are partial forms of DID which lack either clear switching of executive control, full amnesia barriers between identity states, or clear differentiation and structure of identity states. They are partial forms of DID with the same patterns of childhood trauma and co-morbidity.

Also this quote.

So on the one hand we have a vast swathe of people who are, or would be, diagnosed with OSDD as opposed to dissociative identity disorder but who show almost all of the symptoms of DID. Many people therefore see DID and OSDD as appearing on a spectrum, and prefer to conflate the two conditions so that DID/OSDD represents a range of dissociative experiences with more or less amnesia and greater or less elaboration and distinctive identity states or parts of the personality.

It is also what happens in practice: very few people would realistically distinguish between DID and OSDD.

And,

Both OSDD and DID are the result of the spontaneous action of the brain in response to trauma. Both contain different self-states, holding shards of memory and ‘unformulated experience’ (Stern, 1997). Both can be helped by similar approaches to therapy which encourage neuronal repair and result in brain growth such as increased hippocampal volume. Above all, all forms of dissociation need to be validated for their unique contribution to survival.

P-DID is a bit of a new one. Here's the ICD link to it, if you want to read more, but it's going to be the same as above. It's really not that important. Its main difference is that the system doesn't really switch, it's mostly intrusion (like feelings bleeding between alters and host).

These are really only useful for describing how your system generally functions.

Finally, misdiagnosis.

It's okay to be wrong completely. Maybe it's just BPD or OCD, autism, any of the number of disorders that come with identity confusion.

When someone self DX something like BPD and they finally get to therapy and find out it's literally ANYTHING else, we celebrate with them. Good job, you found answers! You're on the right path! You can get the right kind of help now. You did what you had to do in order to get by, and you did your best to try to understand yourself with the tools you had. The use of the first label wasn't malicious, you didn't hurt anyone by using it, and you probably got yourself pretty knowledgeable on the topic.

You are now a resource for those who are also trying to figure themselves out.

Who knows better what the difference between BPD and OSDD is than someone who tried out both and found the answer?

Being wrong doesn't mean you're bad, I don't know why we don't celebrate a misdiagnosis of DID like we do some others. We're all just trying to understand ourselves, and sometimes we're wrong. The point is that eventually we figure it out, and the journey there... recognizing a misdiagnosis is a GOOD part of your story, and it's an important story to share. You were still struggling, regardless of what label you used and what you're being diagnosed with.

Use the label that feels right to you. If you want to keep using OSDD, that's fine. You're describing how your system works right now, and that's perfect. Using DID or OSDD, you'll end up in the same place regardless-- hopefully this means with a good therapist who's going to take your symptoms seriously, but you're going to end up in that same chair no matter what label you're using.

I really hope this helped.

Also, I didn't really touch on it, but I'm sorry you're struggling to get a diagnosis. That must be incredibly frustrating. Don't give up. Unfortunately, the average is about 5 years for most. Keep advocating for yourself.

[changingplumbob]

Shay McClain - Hopeful Bachelorette

Entry for Mad About Dodo by @akitasimblr

Tell us a bit about yourself. What do you do to keep busy? How would your friends describe you?

Okay, well, hi, I'm Shay. I never really fit in at school so after graduation while all my classmates headed to university I wanted something different. I've always liked making stuff so I was looking at getting into carpentry and then one of my dads had the best idea. They both know I love adventure and exploring so they suggested I travel and volunteer with organizations like Habitat for Humanity. I do a bit of carpentry when I'm home to keep the funds up. But yeah I travel the world getting to see cool places, surfing and mountain climbing, and putting my hands to good use making homes for people. Most of my friends are people I've met through that and they'd probably say I'm confident, my dads would probably say over confident, have a passion for making things, especially out of junk but in my defense people throw a lot away too quickly, and... just... a lust for life. But have you looked around? There's beauty in everything.

And why have you applied for Mad About Dodo?

My dad's are worried I'll die alone so have been trying to sort out a way for me to meet people, of course they can't exactly organize a blind date for me when we're in different continents. Don't get me wrong, I would like love in my life, it's kind of the piece that's missing you know. Anyway they sent me the entry details and I have to admit, Dodo is cute. Not that I would just apply because of an attractive person but I was reading about how he's tried other challenges before and I admire his perseverance to keep trying. That's what we have to do at the job sites. So if he's looking for someone to sweep him off his feet I'll do my best.

What do you think of your outfits?

I'm happy they're not just draping us in leaves and calling it a day. I think we've managed to pull together some stuff that'll fit in on an island. But why did we do a cold weather outfit? Aren't islands warm?

How do you see yourself getting on with other competitors?

I've honestly no idea. But I can tell you right now they better keep their pranks away from me. Seriously, a joke that's made at the expense of someone else isn't a joke. Learn how to be funny without punching down.

If you're the kind of person that can spot the good things in life I think we'll get on. I do hate small talk though, let's get to the good juicy stuff! Life's too short to be commenting on the weather constantly.

Tell us about some of your likes and dislikes

Well like I said I really like making stuff. I enjoy fabricating but my favourite is when I can carve stuff like sculptures or furniture. I'm also big into fitness, I like to keep myself in shape. I like yoga to even if I can't balance right half the time.

Dislikes... juice fizzing. I'm not going to go into detail but I had a bad experience. Mischief obviously, I'll crack jokes anytime you like but don't expect me to tie you to a voodoo doll. Programming is also something I just find boring as well as research, so it really is best that I didn't go to university.

What are you looking forward to?

Getting to know Dodo. Hopefully he can be more than a friend. I'm also looking forward to testing out my survival skills. I think they're pretty good with the work I've done but you never know until you're in the situation I guess. But yeah, mainly getting to see if this guy is the one for me, if I can be the one for him.

What are you dreading?

Sunburn! And walking around not realizing I've been pooped on by a bird.

I know most people would probably say lack of bedding and plumbing but I've gone without them before, I can handle going without them again.

Do you have a message for Dodo?

Hey Dodo, if you want someone who can work wonders with their hands I'm here *laughs* No, I'm kidding, please don't tell him I said that. Umm... Hi Dodo, I'm looking forward to building this next part of my life with you in it. See you on the island!

Download SFS

[hamikau]

[AKNK -Event] The desert labyrinth and the Butler's oath

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Chapter 4: Trap

[Near the entrance to the giant tomb]

Lato: Wow… It's surprisingly spacious inside.

Yuhan: Yes. It looks like the passage continues all the way to the back.

Yuhan: Well, that's fine near the entrance… It looks like the sunlight doesn't reach the back of the passage.

Lono: Okay. Well, let's light the torches we brought…

Woosh

Bastien: …Torches…? Why torches and not lanterns?

Lono: Well, we're investigating ruins, you know. This would create more of a different atmosphere.

Lono: Right? Master?

Aruji: Well, well…

Bastien: …I don't really get it… Oh well.

Bastien: Give me that torch. I'll lead the way.

Lono: Huh? It's my job as the leader to walk at the front.

Lono: So… I'll hold this torch!

Bastien: …Since when have you been a leader?

Lono: Well, we're investigating ruins, you know? A research team needs a leader.

Lono: And the person fit to be the leader is… I can lead everyone, so there's no one else but me!

Bastien: ……………….

Woosh

Lono: Ah! Why did you take out the lantern!

Lono: It's ruining the mood! Turn it off!

Bastien: The lantern's light is brighter. I'll lead the way.

Lono: You bastard…!

Bastien: If you're upset, try taking it by force.

Lato: Sigh… Lono and Bastien are as noisy as ever.

Lato: Could you both please be a little quieter? This is a graveyard where the dead sleep, you know.

Lato: Let's read the mood.

Lono: S-sorry.

Bastien: Sorry… I'll be quiet.

Muu: Lono and Bastien are the same as always…

Muu: Watching the two of them interact… I feel a little relieved.

Aruji: That's just the way it always is.

Lato: …Hmm…

Yuhan: Lato? Is something wrong?

Lato: No. Maybe it was just my imagination…

Lato: I thought I heard someone talking from further in…

Aruji: Voices…?

Muu: N-No way… Lato, please don't scare me!

Muu: I can't believe You are hearing voices from deep inside the tomb… That can't be…

Yuhan: Hmm… Could it just be an echo of Lono and Bastien's voices?

Lato: That may be so. I'll go and check it out.

Thud…Thud…

Aruji: Ah, Lato…

Lono: Hey, Lato! It's dangerous to go ahead without a light!

Lato: It's okay. I have good hearing.

Lono: Well, that may be so, but… I'll take the lead…

Lono: In any case, we must not stray too far from our master! Let's go together!

Bastien: That's true… If possible, it's best to walk in a circle around our master.

Yuhan: Hehe… It seems like everyone wants to take the lead.

Yuhan: Then I'll follow behind master. I'll protect your back, please…

Rumble…

Yuhan: …! Master, please step back!

Aruji: Huh…?

A thunderous roar echoed, and Yuhan jumped in front of me…

The next moment… I saw the entrance to the tomb being blocked off by a huge stone door.

Bang…

Lono: Master! Are you okay?

Aruji: I-I'm okay…

Bastien: …The entrance…is blocked?

Lato: Oh dear. It seems we're trapped.

Muu: This is no time to be calm! What should we do…?

This sudden event has left me confused…

Inside the tomb…

A strange voice came from out of nowhere.

Eerie voice: …The sacrifice has come here…

Eerie voice: …Awaken, dead… …Offer the flesh and blood of the living to our king…

Muu: Waaaahhh!! W-W-Who is it!?

Muu: No, it can't be… Is it really a ghost…?

The eerie voice didn't respond to Muu's question…

Only a heavy silence remained around us.

Lono: Wh, what was that… That was…

Bastien: I don't know… For now, it doesn't seem to be an angel.

Bastien: There's a stone door blocking the entrance… Is there any way to open it?

Yuhan: …That would be difficult. It seems quite heavy.

Yuhan: I was careless. I never imagined that such a trap had been set…

Lato: Kufufu… Let's go ahead for now.

Lato: We might find another exit if we look.

Aruji: That's the only option…

Muu: B-but… If there really is a ghost…

Lono: It'll be fine, Muu. There's no way ghosts exist, right?

Lono: I don't know who did this… Whatever comes out, I'll blow it away.

Lono: So… Master, please rest assured!

Aruji: Thank you

Lono: Okay…! Well then, let's pull ourselves together and be careful…

Lono: But, Lato! You shouldn't go ahead alone!

Lato: It'll be fine. If a ghost appears, I'll take care of it myself.

Lono: No, that's not the problem…

With Lato at the front, who seems to be rather enjoying the unsettling situation… Me and the others went deeper into the tomb.

-A little while later -

Lato: Hmm… It seems we've entered a new room.

Lato: Look. There's a bone on the floor.

Muu: Wow!! R-Really…

Muu: T-These bones… N-N-No way…

Lato: Kufufu… It's okay, Black Cat.

Lato: Everything here… They're not cat bones, they're human bones.

Muu: Oh, I thought so! It's not safe at all!

Yuhan: …Please pay respect to the dead and try not to step on them.

Yuhan: Master. If you don't mind, you can close your eyes.

Yuhan: I'll hold your hand… Try to keep things you don't want to see out of your field of vision.

Aruji: Oh, thank you…

Bastien: Still… The fact that there are so many bones scattered around…

Bastien: This must be where the bodies were buried… I guess that's what it means.

Lono: Is that so? If you're going to be buried, you'd normally be in a coffin or something.

Lono: This room is more of a burial place… Rather…

Eerie voice: …Poor sacrifices… You've made it to the altar room…

Muu: Whoa! Oh, it's that voice again…

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English is not my main language so there may be a lot of mistakes. I used google translator most of the time so if you find any mistakes in the translation please let me know and I will fix them quickly!

[ominous-auburn-orbs]

Can you do a fanfic for Kinger and Caine's first kiss with mild NSFW

Here's some dialogue for help

Kinger: Wow.

Caine: Yeah.

Kinger: That was...intense.

Caine: Yeah.

This. This one was a struggle. But you were nice enough to give me dialogue. If you read my stuff for plot, there's not a lot of that to be found here lmao.

Also, same warnings as in the ask, slight NSFW, but it's basically just them semi-failing at making out like the sillies they are.

Kinger and Caine stood outside of the tent, watching the sunset. They held each other's hands, enjoying this moment of peace. Kinger eventually spoke up.

"Hey, Caine?" The ringmaster looked to him, immediately giving Kinger his undivided attention, although that was far from irregular. "This is our 7th date, right?"

"Indeed it is, my dear! It's sweet that you've been keeping count." It took a few moments, but the tone of Kinger's question started to sink in. "Wait, is something special meant to be happening? Is- does the 7th date hold a sort of significance? Was I meant to get you something specific? I-I'm so so sorry, my darling, I didn't-"

"No no no, you're fine!" Kinger chuckled, "There's nothing too important about the 7th date. At least, I don't remember there being. I was more referring to... our progress in our relationship."

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

"Well, we've been together for a little while now, and we, uh, haven't even kissed." His voice trailed off slightly. He knew he'd kissed people before, but all of those memories had a dream-like quality to them. He hadn't done much of anything romantic since he got stuck in the circus, so it felt like he was about to have his first kiss overall. It did make him feel rather self-conscious before it even began, worried that he'd do something wrong or embarrassing and ruin the moment.

"Oh. Yes, you're right, we haven't. I have done research on that, and kissing is allegedly a staple part of romantic relationships. But, I'm not quite sure how we'd go about it, considering our severe lack of lips." Caine chose not to admit that he had near to know idea on how to kiss someone, despite his extensive research. Very, very extensive.

Kinger brought Caine's hand to his cheek, requiring the ringmaster to fly in order to reach him. "How about we try anyway? Just use our collective knowledge, and... experiment, until we find something that feels right."

Caine felt heat spread across his gums. "A-alright, that sounds, uh, good. Very good."

Unsure, the two started to lean towards each other, Caine's teeth and eyes shut tight. Eventually, their faces touched, causing them to relax a bit more. Kinger moved the spot where his mouth would be against Caine's teeth. It did have a similar sensation to what kissing had felt like. Or perhaps he was remembering wrong. Either way, he loved it.

Caine opened his mouth partially, nibbling on Kinger's face, which was admittedly more pleasurable than he thought it would be, although the chess piece did have to hold in a laugh at the mental image of what their current situation would look like.

The ringmaster opened his mouth further. He remembered that he had read about how people would use their tongue to show more affection and passion, so he somewhat awkwardly ran his tongue across Kinger's 'mouth', which drew unexpected noises from both of them.

Since Caine didn't need to breathe and only God knew how Kinger's respiratory system worked, they continued this for a while. Saliva dripped down the front of Kinger's face, but he didn't care enough to stop. In an attempt to further chase the feeling of what he could only describe as his chest exploding from the inside, Caine bit Kinger's face, although harder than he intended.

"Ow-" Kinger pulled away, bringing a hand up to where he had been bit, but stopped before he touched it. There was no lasting mark on his wood, and the pain wasn't that bad. He started to think about how he wouldn't have minded Caine doing it again, but decided to leave that new feeling for another day.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, my sweetness, are you okay?" Both of their faces were bright red and their collars were crumpled from where they had been grasping at each other to try and get closer.

The chess piece wiped at his face to clean off some of Caine's spit. "I-it's fine, I'm fine, I promise." Kinger put one of his hands on the ringmaster's shoulder and the other on his waist, while Caine encircle his 'neck' with his arms. "That was- it was a lot."

"Yes, a-a lot would be a good way of describing it." They continued to stand there in each other's embrace. Well, Kinger standing and Caine floating. "Did you like it, though?"

Kinger was silent for a moment before pressing his face to Caine's teeth. "Yes, I did. I'd love to do it again some time, sweetheart, if you don't mind."

Caine couldn't help but be flustered at the petname. Kinger knew how much of an effect it had on him. "O-oh! Ah, of- of course, yes, whatever you wish for, my dear."

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 9

police anon (new), figuring anon (new), vent anon, 14 anon, lead anon (new), get over anon

police anon

hey so i'm kinda just really tired right now, and a lot of shit is going on so if i end up ranting just ignore me

(redacted the rest for your privacy)

Shit, this is so much to deal with, I can't even imagine how you're feeling. Like....wow. I am so incredibly sorry.

First, I want you to remember that whatever your actions are, none of this is your fault, and you are an AMAZING sibling. You can't protect your siblings from everything. It's just not possible. The important things is to make your siblings feel loved, and you're doing that. Please know you're doing an amazing job.

As far as what to do...you need to think about what's safest. And I know that it's not a simple question. But try not to think about your dad. Think about YOU and your siblings. What will be safest for you guys?

Do you have any trusted adults to talk to about this?

I'm sending you so much love <3

___

figuring anon

okay so i’m just figuring things out and i think i need to talk about this. okay so i was born as a woman and i feel fine being a woman so yeah nothing wrong with that but i also wouldn’t feel any different if i was a man or anything else, so that’s something. i thought this was just how everyone felt but i talked about it with one of my friends and she said that she only feels as a woman and nothing else. and i feel like a person, woman yes but also man and everything, i guess’s i don’t feel different if someone would see me as a man or if someone uses other pronouns than she/her. so i guess what i wanted to ask is what this means, anyways ty i love your microfics<3

Hi!

Okay, that makes sense! I mean I think it depends on how you feel about this. Like if you want to do more research on different gender identities, you should! But if you're comfortable identifying as you are, that's okay too. Just because you have a different relationship with your identity doesn't make it wrong to continue using the same pronouns etc. It's what makes you feel comfortable and valid. What feels good for YOU?

___

vent anon

Hi <3

I think how you feel about it matters the most. Nobody is going to ask for details. What feels right for you?

I'm proud of you, and I know you can do this <3

___

14 anon

I’m so fucking excited casssssss!! I’m going to see Six with my best friend and our mums in like a month (my mum says she thinks it’s at the start of may) and I’m so excited because I discovered six in like 2021 through ex wives and I recently had another Tudor period phase.

It’s an early birthday present for me and my best friend since we’re only 4 days apart -I’m the younger, she never lets me live it down- and we’ve both been crazy with anticipation.

I’m also excited for year 10 (9th grade) because I get to do the subjects i chose like a month ago. Fingers crossed 🤞 I get all my first choices so I don’t have any coursework.

But I’m also not excited bc I have to do work experience for 2 weeks. Work experience is where you have to find a place to work in to “prepare us for the real world” and to “understand a work environment”. I couukdnt find anywhere and had to fill out a form so that the council (like a city government) can place me and I won’t know where until October. But oh well I put my primary (elementary) schools on the form so I could go see all my old teachers

Oh and we also had a rewards assembly for the second cycle of assessments and I got 5 again!!! On the last day before Xmas I got awards for English maths history geography and religious education for cycle 1 tests. This time I got two for English two for history and one for science!!!! I made my friend walk up with me because I hate going up alone and I went up with her when she got called up.

Lots of positivity todayyyy. I must be in that post shower good mood

Wow, that IS a lot of positivity! Ugh, I'm so jealous about Six. You have to tell me how it is! And five awards is amazing, you should be so proud!!

It makes me happy to heard how good things are! I hope you get a good work experience placement- at least if it's not the best, it's only for two weeks!

___

lead anon (new)

So we were doing a theater, it was supposed to be +18, so anyway, in the play I have a part that...

First of all, you should NOT be embarassed. That is such a natural reaction to being brought back to a scary moment. As someone with similar past trauma, I would have reacted the same way.

Honestly, I would encourage you to think about asking to switch parts with someone. What happened was a trauma response, and it's probably not healthy for you to put yourself in that spot. But if you don't want to, could you ask the other lead to practice together some more, so you're used to the scene? Maybe practice with some comforting people around, or something else comforting with you? Do you think you would feel comfortable telling him about your past, even a little? That way he can be aware before and after the scene? I think it's important about communicating how you can stay comfortable, you know?

Last, I think it might be a good idea to look into therapy. You went through a lot, and you deserve to work through it in a healthy way.

I know this is a lot, trust me I know. I'm sending you love, you've got this! <3

___

get over anon

Hi cas! It’s get over anon

I do express my feelings, I write mediocre poetry and even post it, I talk about them if I can, and I never pretend like im over them completely. I also dont exaggerate my heartbreak.

I think the most consistent pain is that I lost my best friend ever. I'm demiromantic so makes sense they were, but it sucks. I don’t necessarily miss the romance part because, in my eyes, there was never a clear distinction between the time we were friends and the time we were together. I miss my friend, I miss them a lot. Maybe I just miss someone that understood me, or someone I could talk to like we used to…

That's definitely a lot to work through and that's not something you can just get over, especially because of the scope of the relationship and the blurry lines. I think the only thing you can do is keep allowing yourself to express those feelings. It absolutely sucks to go through heartbreak, and it's not a linear process. If you ever want to just vent in my inbox, you're always welcome to <3

[slaytheprofessor]

"Oh, is there going to be a test?" you say innocently, batting your eyes as your Rebel's enthusiasm begins to take you over. "What's it on? History? Biology? Should I be breaking out my Algebra knowledge?"

The Professor (Blank): You are well aware what this test is about.

The Professor (Zany): No, no, no, we can do a guessing game! Here, you try and guess what the test's about, and if you guess wrong, I'll do a buzzer noise, but if you guess right---

The Guide: The professor splits again.

The Guide: This one has heavy bags under his eyes, ratted hair, and a wholly unsettling grin. As he examines you, you feel a jolt of pure, cold fear.

The Professor (Cruel): Come now, my dear, let's not play around, shall we? I see the knife that you're failing to hide.

Voice of the Researcher: Well, shit.

The Professor (Cruel): *laughs, high-pitched and for a full minute* Decided to push your rebellious streak to its limit, have you? What do you say about that?

The Professor (Strict): Oh, suspension for sure, for bringing a weapon to school. Perhaps even expulsion.

The Professor (Zany): *nervous* Hang on, now, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this. Have you been having some trouble at home? Maybe you've been getting bullied a little?

The Professor (Strict): Or fallen in with the wrong crowd---

The Professor (Sad): Who even cares? I can confiscate it if it means that much to you, but you'll probably figure out a way to get it back.

The Professor (Cruel): Maybe I'll lock you in the supply closet so you can't get it back. The janitor will likely find you during his rounds.

Voice of the Rebel: Uh... I don't think I like this one?

Voice of the Researcher: Look, we need to nip this in the bud, now. We're not asking him any more questions, and we're not entertaining this classroom bullshit.

Voice of the Rebel: But---*anxious little laugh* H-hang on, let's think about this! There's gotta be a way to figure this out, right? I don't think we've hit the limit yet---

The Guide: I agree with her.

Voice of the Rebel: Yeah, of course you agree with her! Of course you don't want to listen to me! Never mind that I'm the one here who sees through your bullshit!

The Guide: What do you mean?

Voice of the Rebel: *harsh laugh* Come on, asshole, you can't tell us what's going on because this place is keeping your mouth shut? That's the flimsiest fucking excuse I've ever heard! You're just keeping us in the dark for kicks at best, and at worst, it's because you don't want to admit that you're making us into the villain here!

The Guide: I am not! I never have! If you knew what he did---

Voice of the Rebel: And what did he do?! This fucking beanpole of a man whose brain is so fucked up that he can't even comprehend that he's a prisoner? How is he the danger here, and not the freaky voice in our head?!

Voice of the Researcher: Hey, we're also freaky voices in her head---

Voice of the Rebel: Well, he's different, isn't he?

Voice of the Researcher: I don't think he is! And I'm not too jazzed about killing the professor, even when he's like this, but at least I'm not doing stupid shit in the name of pissing the only person here who's trying to help us off!

Voice of the Rebel: Fuck you. *voice breaks* FUCK you both.

The Guide: Like it or not, you have to make a decision now. For all of us.

Voice of the Researcher: Just do what you feel like you have to. Don't listen to any of us. Go with your gut.

The Guide: And hopefully... hopefully, this will fix itself.

The Guide: *softer* Rebel? Are---

Voice of the Rebel: *voice thick with emotion* She can do whatever the hell she wants.

[shrimplymoray]

Hellooo, hope you are having a nice day! I discovered your work not long ago, but I already liked it a lot! I'd like to order a Cody/X Virus x Reader, in which the Reader is a biology nerd who is enthralled by Cody's skills and knowledge! Just the two of them being adorable nerds together!! 👉👈🤧💕

((it's so hard to find content about Cody, and it makes me particularly sad because he's my favorite creepypasta! 🥹🥹🥹))

Anyway, thank you in advance!! 💞

HIHII! I'm so sorry for the long wait, my life has been wild this last couple of weeks, but I'm back at writing and YES CODY'S FANS RISE UP!! Love me when he is a psychopathic scientist lol. Hope you enjoy this!

X Virus x Biology Nerd Reader

Cody normally keeps to himself in his lab, and is not really used to having people besides EJ or Toby around. So when he gets assigned a lab partner, he got skeptical.

He couldn't understand if this was some wild scheme from the others to make him interact more, or if you were actually someone with enough knowledge to work with him, but he couldn't complain since it was orders from the proxies.

You were going to be Cody's lab partner due to your area of knowledge on biology being similar in level to his, and you were certainly excited to find someone with an interest similar than yours, from what you heard of him.

When you did come to the lab, and looked around the place, you were certainly excited with the amount of biology related stuff. It was all you ever wanted, and it made your love for the subject bubble out.

Cody met you right there, on the lab, and at first he was REALLY skeptical, because you looked decent.

'since when does a scientist looks decent? They will not understand at all what I'm doing'

But the moment you opened your mouth and started accurately guessing what each thing he had was, his eyes sparkled. No way...

"Oh my god, you have a guide to the human cardiovascular system! Do you use it often? I bet you do, look at the amount of stuff that needs an intravenous application..."

"Wait, you actually know what you're talking about?"

It didn't take long to Cody to open up about his current researches and projects, like his experiments with the xelymtopa virus, or how he was experimenting on the maximization of effects on cyanide based poisons.

You were excited and eager to know, even bringing your own hypothesis on what could happen depending on the person he experiments on, which he appreciates.

Soon enough you were one of Cody's closest friends (and maybe he had a bit of a crush on you too), and were together everywhere, freaking everyone out by your casual talks about deadly diseases and poisonous animals.

Cody, while doing his work on the infirmary with EJ, opened up about how he felt close to you in a deeper level than anything, but he couldn't put a finger on what exactly he felt. EJ advised him to be open with you besides the work talk.

Cody felt confused and even a bit scarred. Open up about feelings? That is not like him at all...

His mind went in circles on how this was a bad idea and how he would lose your friendship, and you were the only one that actually understood what he said for once, but... EJ never wronged him. Why would he be wrong this time, right?

The next day, on the lab, you were working on one of your projects, some vaccines for one of the many viruses samples Cody had, when he came inside the labe with something behind his back.

"Hey, uh, I hope I'm not interrupting but... Can I talk to you for a second?"

After you looked at him and nodded, he basically dumped all of his feelings for you at once, and you couldn't help but giggle at how the usually confident in himself Cody was a blushing and rambling mess.

You did feel the same towards him, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He did have something to give you, your very own test subject. It was a golden poison frog, which was being securely held in a small vivarium.

Let's just say that both of you are probably the deadliest couple in the manor, and that if anyone bothers one of you, the other is very capable of performing inhumane tests on them just out of spite.

Hope you enjoyed it! I am not particularly knowledgeable on Biology, never had very good teachers on the subject, but it was certainly fun to write this. We need more Cody love in the world fr fr.

[melloneah]

this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3

🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩

EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

answered here :333

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)

yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss

@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333

@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333

ILYSM BESTIESSSS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches

from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......

something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!

RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF