#you me commiting tax fraud together

[meraki-sunset]

heheheheheheheehe

[talesfromthecrypts]

Taking my best friends who all hate each other out for a walk

[wonderjanga]

Cluelessness

Billy knows adults can be weird about lots of things. He pretends to know what those things are because they have to be important if adults care about them so much.

JL: *watching the Super Bowl together*

Marvel: *doesn’t know what’s going on and is just here for the vibes*

GL: “Cap, who do you want to win the next match?”

Marvel: “Uh…” *doesn’t know what the Super Bowl is cause it apparently started in 67’*

Billy was lowkey just sitting there, cheering when the others cheered. He doesn’t know what’s going on.

GL: “Look, 49ers or the Chiefs?”

Marvel: “49ers…?”

Later after the Chiefs won…

GL: “HA!”

Marvel: *extremely confused cause he doesn’t even remember that convo*

or

Flash: “These damn taxes are killing me.”*hunched over a table and calculating*

Marvel: “Ah. Yes. Taxes. Truly terrible.”*trying to sound like he relates but comes across as sarcastic*

Flash: “Are you being sarcastic?”

Marvel: “No??”

Flash: “You totally are! Do you even pay these??”

Marvel: “…Yes…?”

Flash: “Something tells me you’re lying, but you’d never commit tax fraud, would ya, Cap? Right?”

Marvel: *silence*

Flash: “Right…?”

Marvel: *more silence*

Flash: “Right??????”

or

Flash: “Cap, who’re you voting for this coming election?”

Marvel: *didn’t know there was an election going on* “Oh? I don’t know yet.”

Flash: “How can you not know yet?”

Marvel: “I just don’t know yet.”

GL: “Wait, Cap, can you even vote?”

Flash: “Huh?”

Marvel: “Uh…”

GL: “Yeah, you can’t. You don’t have a civilian life, do you?”

Marvel: *looks around* “Nope.” *just going with it*

[maraudergirlcore]

🌕 “You’ve Been Kissing Him This Whole Time?!”

pairing: Remus Lupin x You

A secret romance. A big reveal. And a whole lot of chaos.

(you are james sister in this)

⸻

Gryffindor common room

A few weeks before Christmas

It’s late.

The common room is quiet soft firelight flickering, everyone else either asleep or wrapped up in essays. You’re tucked in the shadowed corner of the room, hidden behind the high back of a velvet armchair that’s always somehow warm. Your legs are curled into Remus’s lap, a blanket draped over the two of you. His hand is gently tracing patterns on the inside of your wrist, his other resting low on your waist.

You’ve been dating in secret for a little over two months now.

And it’s perfect like this.

The stolen moments. The whispered “I miss yous.” The way he looks at you like you’re something carved from starlight and wild magic. You haven’t told anyone yet — not Marlene, not Lily, not even Sirius. And definitely not James.

Because James is your brother.

And Remus is… Remus.

Gentle. Quiet. A little afraid he doesn’t deserve this, even though you remind him every single day with your hands and your mouth and your eyes that he absolutely does.

You shift and press a soft kiss to his jaw. “You smell like parchment and chocolate.”

He hums, smiling lazily. “And you smell like danger.”

You laugh quiet and sweet. “Is that why we’re hiding behind a chair like we’re about to commit tax fraud?”

“I’m not afraid of being caught,” he murmurs, pulling you closer. “I just like having you to myself.”

You melt a little at that. You always do.

But then

“Oi, Moony!”

Sirius’s voice rings out from the stairs. “Have you seen my—”

He stops cold. His eyes land on the two of you like twin spotlights from a train.

You freeze. Remus stiffens. You both try to shift the blanket, but Sirius has already seen it all the way your legs are curled into Remus’s lap, your hands tangled in the hem of his jumper, his fingers still resting on your hip like they live there.

Sirius blinks.

Then

“OH MY GODRIC-GRACIOUS-GRYPHON-GUTS, YOU’RE SNOGGING HER?!”

Remus jumps like he’s been electrocuted.

You sit up too fast and nearly fall off the couch.

“Sirius shut up”

But it’s too late.

The room explodes.

Marlene appears from literally nowhere. “Wait, WHO’S SNOGGING WHO?!”

Lily pokes her head down from the dormitory staircase. “Oh my Merlin, I KNEW it—”

Dorcas gasps so loudly you’re sure it echoes through the towers. “Wait, was this a thing this whole time?!”

Then James.

James Potter walks into the common room at that exact second, casually munching on a biscuit.

“What’s going on”

Sirius spins dramatically, points both arms like a muggle air traffic controller and shrieks:

“REMUS AND YOUR SISTER HAVE BEEN MAKING OUT IN OUR COMMON ROOM LIKE HEATHENS.”

The room goes silent.

Remus turns a shade of white that may never return to normal.

You just. Stare. At James.

James stares back.

Remus tries to speak. “James, I—”

“YOU’VE BEEN KISSING MY SISTER?”

“She kissed me first!” Remus blurts, panicking.

“NOT HELPING!” you hiss.

James looks horrified. “IN OUR HOUSE? OUR COMMON ROOM? YOU’VE BEEN… COZYING UP BEHIND CHAIRS?”

You scramble to stand. “Jamie stop. It’s not some sordid thing. We’re together. We’ve been together for a while, and we didn’t tell you because we knew you’d freak out like this—”

“Like this?! I’m being REASONABLE! I’m staying CALM—”

“You’re yelling.”

“I’M YELLING WITH CONTROL.”

Marlene is doubled over with laughter. Lily’s grinning from ear to ear. Sirius is sitting dramatically on the stairs with his head in his hands muttering, “The betrayal. The lies. The secret cuddles.”

Remus clears his throat, trying to salvage what little dignity remains.

“James,” he says carefully, voice low and sincere. “I didn’t plan for this to happen. I didn’t think I deserved her. But I love her. And I’m not going to hurt her. Ever.”

James stares at him. Then at you. Then back at him.

Long pause.

“…you love her?”

You and Remus both freeze.

But Remus doesn’t falter. “Yes.”

You reach for his hand.

James stares a moment longer.

Then sighs. Rubs his face. “Bloody hell, I need a drink.”

Marlene: “Want a Butterbeer?”

Sirius: “I want a pensieve so I can delete this entire memory.”

James points at Remus. “If you ever hurt her”

“I won’t.”

James narrows his eyes. “Even accidentally”

“Still won’t.”

“…Fine,” James says at last, waving a hand in defeat. “But if I hear about you snogging behind any more furniture”

“You won’t,” Remus says quickly.

Marlene: “You definitely will.”

Sirius: “They were absolutely about to snog before I walked in.”

James groans into his hands.

Lily walks past him and pats his shoulder. “You raised them both, and now they’re in love. Be proud.”

⸻

Later that night, when the fire’s burned low and the chaos has finally settled, Remus pulls you aside near the portrait hole.

“You okay?” he asks softly.

You smile. “They know now. No more sneaking.”

“No more hiding.”

“No more jumping behind chairs.”

He grins and tucks a curl behind your ear. “Except maybe for old times’ sake.”

And when he kisses you this time slow, warm, public no one interrupts.

(Though you’re pretty sure Sirius is watching from the stairs and silently rating the kiss out of ten.)

[marryra]

SOME OF MY POLYTRIX HEADCANONS BECAUSE I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM😫(a.k.a. The Triangle of Pining, Violence, and Emotional Damage)

💋 Domestic & Dumb Shit:

Every morning starts with someone missing from the bed and two others tangled like snakes. It's always a gamble who makes breakfast. Nine times out of ten, it’s the one with the least trauma that day.

They’ve tried cooking together exactly once. It ended in a mini explosion, a burnt ceiling, and someone crying over how "the onions look like little people."

“Group therapy” is just three traumatized hot people trauma-dumping in the same room until someone kisses someone to shut them up.

🩸 Emotional Carnage:

One of them always thinks they’re the “least loved” and the others constantly switch off proving them wrong with disgustingly dramatic displays of affection. One time it involved a full orchestra. No one talks about it.

Their love languages are:

Person A: Touch-starved menace who wants to be cuddled but acts like they hate it

Person B: Writes threatening poems and stares at you across the room like a cursed Victorian wife

Person C: Would commit tax fraud in your name without asking

All of them think they’re the most emotionally stable. All of them are wrong.

🕷️ Petty & Chaotic:

They have a group chat called “THRUUPLE TROUBLE 💀💦” and it’s just them sending screenshots of thirst comments under each other’s posts.

Someone always wakes up in the middle of the night to the other two fighting over which movie to watch. They always pick the third option: crying in silence to Studio Ghibli.

They keep a “who’s the most feral” scoreboard on the fridge. It gets reset monthly. The winner is rewarded with 24 uninterrupted hours of cuddles. The loser has to do the dishes and apologize for their crimes.

🫂 Soft Moments™:

They have a “shared trauma nap pile” routine. No talking, just collapsing onto one another in a nest of blankets after particularly hard days.

When one of them is spiraling, the others just wordlessly show up. No questions, no pressure, just silent presence. Sometimes with junk food. Sometimes with a knife.

They have matching rings, but they’re all different colors. One has vines engraved, one has flames, one has stars. None of them admit who chose whose.

🎭 Unhinged but I Love Them:

One of them is the designated "shut up you're bleeding" person. Another is the "let me kiss it better" person. The third? “Lick it it’s funny” energy.

They've all made out in weird places. None of them top "the abandoned church at midnight while being hunted."

One of them writes poetry about the other two. One of them secretly reads it and cries. The third one uses it as blackmail.

That's all for now but God am I inlove with them💔

[scribescrawls]

On a more silly note, imagine the High Guard after the whole killing Sentinel thing happened/banishment and a few weeks later call a meeting with Optimus and they go “hey so I know we’re at odds at the moment but are we ever going to get payed for the last 50 cycles?” cause I mean technically I don’t think they were ever officially fired so much as declared dead to the general public and secretly being hunted down during that time. Do they go up to Optimus and are just like “so I get that we don’t really work here anymore but like can we still get our severance pay and our backlog of paychecks?” Cause I’m pretty sure since they were military the government was paying them before the whole Sentinel betrayal thing and any funds any of them had has probably been seized by the state (aka Sentinel during that time) or frozen sitting somewhere in account of being presumed dead. Does Megatron not want to have this meeting but the entire High Guard are grumpy about it like "no I want to get payed! I want my stuff/money back!" so now he has to sit across from Optimus in the most awkward meeting after their fall out as Starscream shouts across the table negotiating if they still qualify/are entitled for the Cybertronian equivalent of military/veteran pension for their previous cycles of service.

Cybertronian Civil War on hold due to the nightmare of bureaucracy and paperwork because tracking down at minimum 73 different case files of each High Guard member and getting them all in order when probably half of the information was purposely destroyed by Sentinel means it will probably take a while. How many times has Shockwave and the rest of the High Guard have to sign documents to declare "yes I am alive" "no I did not fake my death to commit tax fraud". Or dealing with banks and other organizations going "please provide proof that you are indeed Starscream." Starscream going "I'm literally Starscream and standing in front of you what other proof is more clear! You are literally looking at a photo of me on the datapad!" "Apologies, but unless you have x, y, z document I am afraid we cannot simply take your word that you are Starscream. If you are missing these documents please fill out these thirty forms as alternative verification of identity". Also imagining Thundercracker going "hey do you think my buy five get one free drink stamp card still works. I've been sitting on that free drink for 50 cycles…"

Funniest thing if Shockwave was a senator before joining the High Guard and there was a small period of time where he actually was declared dead before it got cleared up back in the day when the Primes were still alive, but now they can't find the paperwork that cleared up that it was an error and he was still in fact alive so now he's been declared doubly dead.

Shockwave: It's document 37C!

Elita: Repeating it for the fifth time will not change the fact that it does not exist!

Shockwave, done with being declared dead: It exists! It's added every time my taxes get filed each cycle! Did I suddenly imagine the last thousands of cycles of my life!

Elita, losing her own temper: There is no document 37C! Listen here Blinky, I can easily resolve this matter by getting you declared dead for a third time for real!

Optimus stressed and trying not to cry: Maybe we should call for a break in the meeting...

When the break is over no one can find Optimus who has decided to play hooky from his responsibilities because he'd tired and feels like he's going to lose it dealing with all the sudden responsibilities of being leader of an entire planet. I like the idea that it's Megatron who finds him. Megatron going "if I have to suffer through these meetings so do you" (he was secretly also ditching the meeting and accidentally bumped into Optimus because the place is technically their old spot that they sometimes went together, both thought it would be abandoned and no one would find them there). It's awkward, there are hurt feelings on both sides, but maybe they slowly get to talking and at least commiserate how much they hate paperwork. Also funny if they find out they both also have to resolve their own "declared dead by Sentinel" paperwork considering he said they both died after the Iacon 5000 lol.

Also I think it would be funny if these meetings drag on for so long that Optimus is just like instead of commuting back and forth from the surface to Iacon every day just stay here in the city it will save time. Banishment temporarily rescinded. Even more funny if they also have to deal with the Quintessons so half of these meeting turn into war meetings to deal with and fight the Quintessons off their planet where both sides are like "we're not on the same side!", but also eventually have to work together to win. So it's basically an officially we're not on the same side, but all actions say otherwise lol. I like to think Bee likes to hangout with Soundwave during meetings and finds him so cool, and Soundwave actually likes listening to Bee yap finding him endearing.

They eventually realize that it would be easier (and less paperwork) to just reinstate the High Guard and at this point so much time has passed that they've basically been doing their old job anyway as they fight the Quintessons together. Banishment permanently rescinded for all parties involved. I like to think megop over the course of these meetings and fighting together against the Quintessons make up. Things can't go back to the exact way it was between them, but that doesn't mean they can't rebuild something new between them. I like to think both groups have differing ideas of how to lead and how to deal with situations, but I like to think eventually they get to a point where they can compromise and work with differing ideas depending on what's best for the situation at hand similar to the 13 Primes who probably had conflicting and contrasting personalities and approaches but were able to use these differences to work together and make them stronger as a united front.

Cybertronian Civil War avoided through the sheer slog of paperwork and bureaucracy.

[shanksxbuggy]

This is sending me how amazing this is - Shanks being a landscape photographer feels like a subtle way of saying he wouldn’t hold down a stable job and wouldn’t make a lot of money. This man is not getting a 9-5 job Lmao. He just wants to see the world and look at pretty landscapes without pressures or responsibilities and that’s so real of him, me too Shanks.

I think it’s interesting Shanks would rather be behind the camera than in front of it. Buggy loves the spotlight and attention and Shanks likes being the one taking pictures :)

It’s clear Buggy would be the breadwinner of the two. He may be a clown for the aesthetic but he cares about money too much not to be hustling, someone’s gotta be the one to put food on the table. And you know he’d be good at his job and enjoy what he’s doing! He likes being the boss of something and respected professionally. My man is dependable and makes sure his people and their families are fed. He’s taking care of their bills, credit cards, paying their taxes, he is money conscious. Buggy has three other side hustles and he’s committing fraud while having plans to become CEO of the company in three years.

A kindhearted landscape photographer meets a cynical big city businessman…this could be a romcom hallmark movie.

Also notice how their favorite island types are intentionally contrast each other. They both like the island type of the season they were born in but crave the opposite season. Together they represent all four seasons…this all plays into the yin yang dynamic. At this point Oda is just beating us over the head with it, like okay we get it, they complete each other!

[nonbinarypirat]

What do you think about all this mess in chapter 365? The existence of hierarchy in the society of demons was not something new, but for me it was somewhere in the background, that is, we know that demons have a ranks system but there were social elevators in it. I am asking you because I am a fan of your analysis of the mairuma universe and I am sincerely interested in hearing your opinion.

Good question!! I actually LOVE the direction the story took for the Scala test because it felt like it was going a little too well ya know? I was excited when they turned to farming because as soon as we learned about the carrots I was like, oh they should start a farm that’s the next idea. But I was like, hmm it feels too easy now doesn’t it. And then BAM fascist. But anyway, this is a great question to talk about since I previously made a post about how one of the overarching theme in the story is fascism and fighting against it through education.

The reason why I love this direction for the story is that up until now, all of the subtle hints towards more seediness and corruption has been in the background. It makes sense narratively speaking that we wouldn’t get hit with it too strongly because we like the main character are slowly learning about the world. Iruma is growing up in a relatively safe environment with him mostly being at his house, school, or a safe area like the shopping district (with some obvious exceptions to this). Iruma, having grown up in the human world, has no reason to assume or believe that there is serious systematic problems going on. Instead, he is slowly becoming exposed to this as he gets older and out into more situations where he can no longer not see it.

The signs have all been there from the start with the ranking system being the first exposure. Especially with the introduction of Kirio. The simple fact that you can get better meals if you are a higher rank in a school lunch speaks volumes to how low ranked demons are treated. Especially since we later see this stays true outside of school with Ameri and Iruma going to a segregated high rank only restaurant. And we see instances of bullying/intolerance when it comes to how students treat each other. The notable moments I remember is how the Azz fan girls treated Iruma at first when they thought he was a low rank compared to when they learned he had a higher one than they originally thought. Or the student’s comments to Kirio since he was a low rank. Or how the girls at the party treated the low rank demon girl.

We also have had the vile police system introduced to us during the Walter Park incident and when we first learned about Narnia. Prisons and the whole system is already fucked up and corrupt in the human world but it’s definitely worse in the demon world. The fact that the prisoners have to constantly give their mana up to the park not to mention the fact that it’s located underneath the park to begin with always felt gross to me. And when we first learn about Narnia, the cards start to come together. Narnia is said to treat any injustice, anything at all, on the same level. And he is shown to be cruel and ruthless in the face of what he considers crime. So if you committed tax fraud, you would probably be considered on the same level of a murderer and treated just the same. How are those even on the same level? But Narnia doesn’t care, he sees it as an opportunity to “maintain order” within the netherworld and uses that as justification for his actions. In the end, he doesn’t care about the demons he’s supposed to protect, rather he cares more about maintaining the strict hierarchy.

Add to that the fascist organization we have in the story that wants to control the netherworld to reshape it into their image. The introduction of Baal and learning about the organization kind of kicked started where the story will lead into. This has always been a story of fighting off bigotry and oppression, but it’s very subtly disguised behind what seems like a typical villain takeover plot. Because it’s subtle, we as the audience only start noticing when the themes become prevalent with the evidence stacking up higher and higher. And with the introduction of Azami, we can no longer not see what the story is trying to convey to the audience.

It’s crafted in a way to keep you unaware until we see Narnia being a full on fascist with his fascist cop buddy Azami. And the reason why it’s so effective is because the themes have always been there, just in the background. If we had all of a sudden had Azami or Narnia doing his little “maintaining order” speech without the small build up, it wouldn’t have fully hit as hard. But now that we have the Many-Ears race, a race literally known for being suppressed and subservient to higher ranks, we now see the cards fall into place. Some people wondered if the Many-Ears have done this to themselves, suppressing themselves when there was no need. But now it’s become clear that no matter how the Many-Ears came to live in this way, it’s clear that it’s not an issue of them doing this to themselves. Not fully at least. They are being used by those in power to keep them submissive to those they benefit the most. And the Many-Ears, believing they have no way of changing the system of powers, internalized and conformed to this idea as well. Being trapped in this mindset benefits the majority rule and keeps the “balance” in order. However, now they can see a better way for themselves. Now, they truly believe they have value and worth outside of being a worker for a strong ranked demon. Thus toppling over the hierarchy established.

Fascism feeds on a strict hierarchy where everyone knows their place. One cannot have fascism without it being built off the backs of those oppressed. And Narnia, being a fascist prick, has one dangerous weapon: power. He is a high rank, works within the demon border patrol, and now has become a 13 crown, one of the most powerful positions in all of the netherworld. He is almost untouchable at this current moment unless you are a fellow 13 crown (and we still don’t know how possible infighting works). The Many-Ears have no way of stopping someone like this and are basically forced to either fall into line or become seriously hurt. And even if they do fall into line, there’s no saying Azami won’t hurt them anyway. That’s the thing with cops, they can decide what goes with very little consequences (can you tell my feelings on cops?). Narnia knows, he uses this as a tool for oppression. If he has leverage, he will use it without a second thought to further his mission of control.

But here’s where education falls into the equation. The Many-Ears are no longer among the uneducated. Before, the oppressive power used their lack of knowledge to support the hierarchy. How will it work out for them if they no longer as unaware as they previously were? Once knowledge is spread, it’s hard to put a lid on it. You can’t go into their brains and erase what they know to be true. And now they are no longer fighting alone. This isn’t an us verse them battle. Fascism wants you to believe you are alone. It wants you to believe you are powerless. It wants you to believe that you are the only one that wants change. Why? Because there’s power in people, in community. No matter what happens in the next few chapters, they have people that care and want to see change too. And luckily for the Many-Ears, they have powerful allies too. One person alone can make change but a community of people can make an even greater change. And that is the reason why I love this story so much 🫶🏽

Sorry for how long this post was, I just saw this question and I’ve been dying to talk about this since the chapter dropped because I LOVE the themes of this story so much. And I love the anti cop mentality of both the main line story and the mafia story 🤭n

[sepdet]

Try to imagine Trump going to campaign HQ to reassure those working to get him elected with a speech like this after one of his unwelcome surprises.

Of course, that's impossible. This classy speech is all about "we" — the team, and the American people — although of course it's got a few "I's" in there to contrast herself with Trump and sketch out goals.

First five minutes: Squaring the circle of saluting Biden graciously, thanking and reassuring his election team, and moving forward

05:40 - rundown of major accomplishments of President Biden's administration

8:45 Harris lays out how she sees this election and I'm actually gonna transcribe it despite my arthritis because YES YES YES. (It's not very long.)

"It is my great honor to go out and EARN this nomination, and to win.

"So in the days and weeks ahead, I together with you will do everything in my power to unite the Democratic party, to unite our nation, and to win this election.

"You know, as many of you know, before I was elected as Vice President, before I was elected as United States Senator, I was the elected Attorney General of California, and before that I was a courtroom prosecutor. In those roles, I took on perpetrators of all kinds. [chuckles start around the room, she smiles.] Predators who abused women. Fraudsters who ripped off consumers. Cheaters who broke the rules for their own gain. So hear me when I say: I know Donald Trump's type.

"And in this campaign I will proudly — I will proudly put my record against his. As a young prosecutor, when I was in the Alameda County District Attorney's Office, I specialized in cases involving sexual abuse. Donald Trump was found liable by a jury for committing sexual abuse. As Attorney General of California I took on one of our country's largest for-profit colleges and put it out of business. Donald Trump ran a for-profit college, Trump University, that was forced to pay $25 million to the students it scammed. As District Attorney, to go after polluters, I created one of the first environmental justice units in our nation. Donald Trump stood in Mar-o-lago and told Big Oil lobbyists he would do their bidding for a $1 billion campaign contribution. During the foreclosure crisis, I took on the big Wall Street banks and won $20 billion for California families, holding those banks accountable for fraud. Donald Trump was just found guilty of 34 counts of fraud.

"But make no mistake — all that being said, this campaign is not just about us versus Donald Trump. There is more to this campaign than that. Our campaign has always been about two different versions of what we see as the future of our country, two different visions for the future of our country. One focused on the future, the other focused on the past.

"Donald Trump wants to take our country backward, to a time before many of our fellow Americans had full freedoms and rights.

"But we believe in a brighter future that makes room for all Americans. We believe in a future where every person has the opportunity not just to get by, but to get ahead. [Calls of "That's right!"] We believe in a future where no child has to grow up in poverty, where every person can buy a home, start a family and build wealth, and where every person has access to paid family leave and affordable child care. That's the future we see! [Applause.] Together we fight to build a nation where every person has affordable healthcare, where every worker is paid fairly, and where every senior can retire with dignity.

"All of this is to say that building up the middle class will be a defining goal of my presidency. Because we here know that when our middle class is strong, America is strong. And we know that's not the future Donald Trump is fighting for. He and his extreme Project 2025 will weaken the middle class and bring us backward — please do note that — back to the failed trickle-down policies that gave huge tax breaks to billionaires and big corporations and made working families pay the cost, back to policies that put Medicare and Social Security on the chopping block, back to policies that treat healthcare as only a privilege for the wealthy, instead of what we all know it should be, which is a right for every American.

"America has tried these economic policies before. They do not lead to prosperity. They lead to inequity and economic injustice. And we are NOT GOING BACK. We are not going back. (You're not taking us back.)

"Our fight for the future is also a fight for freedom. Generations of Americans before us have led the fight for freedom from our founders to our framers, to the abolitionists and the suffragettes, to the Freedom Riders and farm workers. And now I say, team, the baton is in our hands. We, who believe in the sacred freedom to vote. We, who are committed to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act and the Freedom to Vote Act. We, who believe in the freedom to live safe from gun violence, and that's why we will work to pass universal background checks, red flag laws, and an assault weapons ban. We, who will fight for reproductive freedom, knowing if Trump gets the chance, he will sign a national abortion ban to outlaw abortion in every. single. state—but we are not going to let that happen.

"It is this team here that is going to help in this November to elect a majority of members of the United States Congress who agreethe government should not be telling a woman what to do with her body. And when Congress passes a law to restore reproductive freedoms, as President of the United States I will sign it into law! [cheers, someone shouts "we the people!"] "Indeed, we the people.

"So ultimately, to all the friends here I say: in this election we know we each face a question. What kind of country do we want to live in? A country of freedom, compassion and rule of law, ["Yes!"] or a country of chaos, fear, and hate? [Boos] You all are here because you as leaders know we each — including our neighbors and our friends and our family — we each as Americans have the power to answer that question. That's the beauty of it, the power of the people. We each have the ability to answer that question.

"So in the next 106 days—" looks around the room smiling at various people, "We have work to do. We have doors to knock on, we have people to talk to, we have phone calls to make, and we have an election to win. …" [a few final crowd -whipping-up platitudes like "Do we believe in freedom"]

------

Note: Yes, I know, she spoke about rights for all Americans without getting into any specifics besides reproductive and voting rights, because those two are core values of the Democratic party and the ones most Americans agree with. Unifying a party and coalition building starts by finding common ground. The approach Harris is taking will pull away some old-school moderate Republicans who are reluctant to leave their party even as it changes beyond recognition, but who really don't like Trump. Many of them have been poisoned more or less by Fox News, so they need to see she's not a crazy crazy liberal.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Lisa Needham at Public Notice:

It’s no secret that the second Trump administration is full of grifters who are thrilled to spend your tax dollars to enrich themselves. But you don’t need to be a member of Trump’s cabinet or even his inner circle to benefit from this brave new world. Trump is comprehensively dismantling financial oversight, pardoning crypto scammers, and making sure cronies get sweet no-bid government contracts. At the same time all of this largesse to white collar criminals is going on, the administration is weaponizing the government against everyone else. Just look at Trump’s early pardons and commutations. They send a message that financial crime is just fine. You can also think of them as a sort of wish fulfillment. Trump pardons people who were convicted for doing the same things he does routinely. He had to pay $25 million to settle with people who paid for his scammy “Trump University.” He exploited his own campaign donors by signing them up for recurring donations unless they located a tiny box to opt out. He falsified his financial records, inflating his net worth to obtain loans, for which he was fined $364 million. Trevor Milton, convicted of defrauding people who invested in his electric and hydrogen vehicle company, is probably the best example of how easy it is to buy a pardon from Trump. Milton is the owner of Nikola, an overhyped vehicle company that leverages the name of a famous inventor and promised the moon, but was faking its technology to defraud investors. Hmmm. Sound familiar? Milton was convicted of securities fraud in 2022 and sentenced to four years in prison in December 2023. But since he remained free on bail pending his appeal, he was able to donate $920,000 to Trump’s PAC in October 2024. That netted him a pardon, which doesn’t just mean he won’t serve prison time. It also means he won’t have to pay the nearly $700 million he was ordered to pony up in restitution to investors. That’s quite a bargain: under $1 million in donations to Trump bought a pardon that saves Milton hundreds of millions of dollars. Trump also commuted the 10-year sentence of Carlos Watson just days before he was set to report to prison. Watson was the co-founder of once-buzzy startup Ozy Media, which imploded when it became clear that he was inflating viewership numbers, lying about revenue, and engaging in shady practices like pretending to be a YouTube executive when talking to potential investors. To be fair, it isn’t just that Trump is pardoning rich people. Fervent support of Trump and the lie that the 2020 election was stolen was enough for former Tennessee GOP state Sen. Brian Kelsey to catch Trump’s eye. After the standard Republican whining about how he was the victim of a Biden-led witch hunt, Kelsey pleaded guilty to campaign fraud for trying to shift campaign funds raised for his state legislative seat to his 2016 congressional race. In thanking Trump for the pardon, Kelsey made sure to tie their fates together, twin victims: “May God bless America, despite the prosecutorial sins it committed against me, President Trump, and others the past four years.” Trump also isn’t limiting his pardons to just people. He broke new ground in excusing lawlessness by pardoning a corporation: BitMEX, a cryptocurrency exchange. BitMEX had pleaded guilty to violating the Bank Secrecy Act by operating without required anti-money laundering provisions. For good measure, he also pardoned BitMEX’s co-founders. Indeed, crypto scammers might be the biggest beneficiaries of Trump’s commitment to corruption. Crypto probably already had a native appeal to Trump, given that it is largely unregulated and is often used for scams. He and his large adult sons already run a crypto company, World Liberty Financial, which is tailor-made for corruption.

The 47 and Bondi Regime believe that laws apply to their opponents, but not for them or for their supporters.

[sososunniest]

fresh ships that I like and why and headcanons

fresh x error

this one is probably my otp I draw these motherfunkers all the time waaaaaa .,.. okay. so I know there's an au where they're siblings . they aren't canonically siblings, and I hate that au with a burning passion so

iirc, even CQ ships fresh x error. so that's a plus. love my skeleton yaoi /silly

headcanon time. I feel like because of error's fear of being touched, fresh (at least) tries to tone it down with the physical touch. he kinda sucks at it tho

error hates, and I mean HATES showing affection. he shows it by being mean. fresh likes that about him, at least knowing that error is somewhat trying. keyword, somewhat

under the cut for more

fresh x fell

oh man. OH MAN. fresh and anyone he wouldn't like because of their mannerisms ,,,,,,,, "I like him, he's special to me" type stuff is my fave ever

< bad boy x absolute idiot freak loser 3 .... oh maaan

fresh probably censored him daily until he let him pass with a few curses. nothing too bad.

fresh joke flirts with him everyday and fell started to flirt back and fresh giggles and kicks his feet

fresh x lust

another instance of someone fresh wouldn't like. A WHORE. I headcanon lust as asexual though ,,,,,, my au made me permanently see him as someone who left his au and identified as asexual

they gossip and hold hands and talk about hot guys

they definitely call and twirl the phone cord and kick their legs

they wear wigs just so they can braid each others hair and they kiss on Mondays /vsilly

I see them as queer platonic partners ,,, that I love because AAAUAUUUAUUSAAAAGAGAHHR im tweaking

fresh x geno

okay main reason is because of fresherror ,,,,, and i just love them. no pure reason as to why, theeyre just so cute. I'm going nuts over them

fresh likes to wipe the blood from geno's mouth ,,, he thinks he's being nice. geno is grateful for this.

fresh likes giving him shirts and outfits but a lot of them are ruined from blood, so sometimes fresh walks around with literal blood stains on his shirt . what a fool. WHAT A FOOL !!!!!

fresh x ink

the chaotic duo we all neeeded ,,,, I feel like both of them are on the aroace spectrum

they probably paint together and ink probably gifted fresh some au that was abandoned so they could make it all cool together

the real reason I like this pair is because. uh. idk. they're both goofballs and they both like pulling pranks. they probably show eachother their special interests (yes I'm projecting get OVER IT /SILLY)

fresh x killer

this one isn't as well known ... I'm known as the rarepair ceo at this point, I fear

OKAY. I know killer's first reaction to fresh was quite literally "what the funk" but you gotta hear me out on them. they're cuties. very cute. they're like rivals, but the rivalry is completely one-sided and that's kinda funny to me. killer probably caught some feelings , and he was very angry about that

nothing else about them. I just really like them. I crode

fresh x classic

ahh yes, fresh and the guy he stole a body from /silly

I really do love them. comedian buddies. I find them more like platonic partners than actual lovers, since classic sans 'too lazy to feel love/be in a romantic relationship' and I took that as an opportunity to slap another aroace label onto a character I relate to BAHAHAAHA

they tell eachother dumb jokes

fresh x epic

yet another platonic partner relationship . foaming at the mouth

more comedians !!!!!! two little joke people. love em

fresh x cross

that one Underverse episode caused this. I have no other words. I just like them okay

fresh x nightmare

they commit tax fraud together on Tuesdays

yet another instance of someone fresh would HATE, but fresh grows an attachment to him. "aw, but he's cute" he won't be cute when he murders you fresh

fresh x swap

two words. Christmas party

that au has my freshswap brain foaming at the mouth. they giggle and gaggle together and plot evil pranks together. fresh probably helps him with puzzles

fresh x greaser

I used to not like these two. I used to not like greaser in general. buut the fanart swayed me,,,,, and now I like it. but JUST A LITTLE.

fresh x fatal error

fatal error is geno and error sorta combined in my eyes, and I ship both of them with fresh ,,,, ssso I can't help myself ,,,,,

fresh x horror

tall buddies. very tall in fact

can you tell I'm getting lazy

fresh x dream

also that underverse episode

ok bye

[kaiustuff]

Headcanons of the triplets because they deserve love from me.

These are from a modern AU

They were lost during a trip in Thailand.

Pino has committed tax fraud at least once.

Kio is a passionate collector of beautiful and unique editions of books. He may have up to three editions of the same book.

The three of them get together to watch the first seasons of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Noki and Kio worked in a garage from the age of 15 to 18.

They have a secret language that they have perfected over the years.

Sharing a room was torture when they lived together, fights, arguments and misunderstandings drove their father crazy, but when they became independent a void of loneliness invaded them.

Noki often debates and internet although later he gets annoyed and is irritated all day long.

They are their grandmother's spoiled children.

All three are excellent shooters, probably having practiced with all kinds of firearms.

Kio suffers from Thalassophobia.

For being the oldest Pino is not the most protective of his siblings, is somewhat carefree and in most of the cases is the one who comes up with crazy adventures.

They love photography, although each one handles different themes.

If they see an old movie reference be sure they will go DiCaprio-once upon in Hollywood mode when they see it.

The guys who take the number one prize at competitions in the scientific field.

They are the perfect mix between order and chaos, you may one day walk into their room and find a mess of cosmic proportions, or find everything selectively ordered and organized.

Kio is the guy who throws curious facts at you about any subject he is passionate about.

[streetkid-named-desire]

ok btw pls i hope you all know the color changes are just me taking preview pics for my own mods lol i do love playing with hairstyles though i try to stick to ones that are close to actual hairstyles i think she'd wear

@baublekute and i were half joking talking about bea having a hair color line but honestly i could see it. honey hears about a modeling gig where it's mostly the back of your head in pics bc its for hair color and she tells bea about it and they audition together and honey ends up getting it but then she has a scheduling conflict so they call bea

she sees the chemicals theyre using in the dye and she recognizes them as ones she's used to kill people before and starts talking to the stylist about them and is like "wow so that's how it's made huh?"

and then she murders the CEOs of Manix Panix (made up duh) and takes over the company and has a side gig of making hair colors. she never does any pr for it but does test all the colors herself and has a contractual obligation with shareholders to take at least one photo of her in each color or else they cant use the part in the arbitration clause that says they test all the colors on themselves and so can guarantee safety and cannot hold the company liable

the company eventually tanks because she murders all the shareholders and the remaining c-suite execs because they were not paying their taxes and committing tax fraud on the company's behalf and she is a proud tax paying citizen of night city

[llamaisllama777]

OH, THEY SCARED TO POOP OUT OF ME!

This episode was actually super cute. I'm glad we finally got confirmation on what crimes Monty has committed and which ones he hasn't.

Crimes Monty HAS committed...

-Tax evasion

-Tax fruad

-Gun running

-illegal arms dealing

-Murder (Who he killed, we don't know?)

-Technically brainwashing for what he did to Foxy

-Improper use of magic and star power

List of crimes Monty HASN'T committed

-G=noc!de (Thank gosh!)

- Marriage fraud. (It was a joke that got way out of hand. Also, he was drunk.)

-Other crimes I can't remember.

_______________________________

This episode really shows how much Monty has grown and how much Monty and Earth love each other... (It also shows how desperate Miku is and how badly I want to strangle her.)

Monty does want to be a better person. He wants to change it's a very VERY slow process, but he is changing for the better. He admits he did a lot of bad things and regrets those things. He actually regrets his actions. Wow.

Monty does really want to change, and that's important he's trying that's all we can really do. Try.

It doesn't excuse his actions. I don't get me wrong it doesn't, but he wants to be better.

I'm glad Monty and Earth got together. They're super cute, and I'm a massive fan of the opposites attract trope.

Earth is nice, calm, and non-violent, while Monty can be mean, rash, and very violent, but at the end of the day, they love each other a lot and that's super cute.

Also, Earth, you are borderline a saint for putting up with Monty and all his crimes. Bless your little metal heart Earth.

I love this ship so much, and I'm so thankful they didn't break up. Thank you, God. (Seriously, I was scared they were gonna break up.)

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Turmoil; Chapter 8

Roman Roy x Reader

a/n: I need him biblically

let me know your thoughts x

Word Count: 3.289k

You got one lazy day. That was it before you had to throw yourself back into work. You and Roman both stand at your bathroom sink, his head tucked into the crook of your neck. You press a light kiss to his forehead, and surprisingly, he doesn’t run off after the fact. He winces, but he stays.

“Connor’s bank statements should be handed to you when you walk in today,” he murmurs.

“You’re a godsend.”

“I know, right?” He takes you by the chin and presses an obnoxiously sloppy kiss to your cheek. “Kendall and I are looking into that politician thing today. Maybe we can go out to dinner today?”

“You’d better show up today,” you warn. He playfully pinches your hip.

“I promise.” He moves away, pulling his shirt off and disappearing into the closet. “If I don’t, put a bullet through my head.”

You roll your eyes, smiling. “Rome?”

“Mm.”

“What’re you gonna do with that… thing with Marcia?”

“We wait until we can use it,” he calls back. “Thank god it’s on your phone and not mine.” You sigh. You both manage to get dressed and feed yourselves breakfast, and Roman hails you a cab and sees you off with a hesitant kiss to your lips.

You steel yourself as you stare up at the building containing your firm. You love your job- just not what you were doing with it now.

Before entering your office, you subtly slip a jewelry box onto your assistant’s desk. You’d gotten her a necklace and set of earrings while abroad as a thank-you for fighting Connor off with a stick. Roman was right, too. You give her the box and she slides you a manila file with a grin on her face, mouthing ‘thank you’.

You settle into your desk chair, leafing through the papers. It’s normal the first ten years, but starting another ten, his spending became erratic, and lo and behold, he stopped paying his taxes. You wonder how Connor has made it this far in life without getting killed by someone.

You can piece together the puzzle pretty easily. Connor thinks he’s too high and mighty to be taxed, he stopped paying them, the interest racked up an outrageous amount, and now he’s committing fraud to get money to pay everything off.

You take a moment to think.

If Logan bailed Connor out before, would he do it again?

You think you want to find out.

You could catch Logan with his pants down. You were closer to a solution to get him out of your- and Roman, and Kendall, and Shiv’s -life. You were lucky that he was the vote that would’ve won him the vote of no confidence- if he’d legally won, he would’ve dropped the guillotine on you and ousted the fact that you’d kept Connor innocent from fraud. Since he hadn’t, and he’d stayed, if he’d tried ruining your image, he’d look like a child throwing a tantrum.

Satisfied with your mental acrobatics, you toss the file into a lockable compartment of your desk. While you wanted nothing more than to serve Connor right that second, you knew taking him and Logan down at the same time would be much more satisfying. So you decide you’ll wait.

You make a small list on a post-it note of what you have so far. Kendall and Roman had begun to investigate Logan’s suspicious activity around the failed politician, Greg and Roman had gotten you the finances, you’d found more than one hard piece of evidence that Connor was lying on the suit. You also have the issue with Marcia, which you don’t really want to think about. Ever.

If you wait long enough, you think you’ll be able to find your way out of this mess.

Having gotten yourself into a good mood, you decide to pick up some pro-bono cases from junior associates in the bullpen to lighten their load. You spend the rest of your day doing paperwork, but you don’t mind.

You’re in your office for so long you eventually need to flick on your desk lamp. You’re not feeling as tired as you usually would at this point, and you’re thankful for it. When your phone rings, and you find Roman on the other end, you pick it up with a smile.

“Asshole. Why do you work so late?”

“Aw, I miss you too, Roman.” You jot something down in the margins of one of your documents. “Besides, it’s only dark out because it’s winter.”

“Are you almost done? I made a reservation for six.”

You glance over at your watch, sitting on the inside of your wrist. Five-thirty.

“Can you come get me?”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, we have stuff to talk about. Involving my big, happy, functional family.”

“We do,” you muse. “I thought this was a date.”

“It is, swear. I just have to tell you because I’m a good fiance.”

You laugh. “Whatever you say. Call when you’re here.”

“I’m already outside, bitch.”

“You’re so romantic.”

You clean up in your office, bid your assistant goodbye(even though you’d given her permission to leave ages ago), and find him parked in front of the complex.

“You drive? How many people have you hit?” you ask, climbing into the passenger seat. He rolls his eyes at you, waiting until you buckle your seat belt to pull away.

“Only two old ladies and their dog that looked like Kendall.”

You snort. “How was work?”

“Glorious. Felt like a superhero fucking shitting on my dad like that.”

“Go on.”

”We did some digging, found a few paper trails. I didn’t know the old man was stupid. Kendall thinks we’re on track to find people that have the ability to testimony.”

“If you even have an inkling that someone could, send them to me. Like immediately. We can’t have them blab to the wrong people. I can legally keep them safe from Logan if they disclose to the firm.”

“You’re the boss.” He honks at the car that missed the green light in front of you. “Fucking dick.”

“Of course you have road rage.”

“I don’t have road rage.”

You sit in comfortable silence the rest of the way, interrupted by the occasional expletive from Roman at bad drivers. He’s surprisingly level-headed behind the wheel, keeping calm regardless of the ‘idiots around him’.

At the restaurant, you take the inside of his elbow as you walk. He flexes his arm, trying to suppress a grin, setting his hand on his stomach. You can tell, despite his slowly dissipating disdain for your physical affection towards him, he fucking loved showing you off in public.

He’d warm up to you eventually. You didn’t want to force him into anything you didn’t want, so most of the time, you let him initiate physical contact. And even though neither of you ever spoke about it, you got the feeling that he appreciated it immensely.

You both sit in a secluded corner of the restaurant, and his legs press up against yours from his seat across from you.

“You should tell me more about yourself,” you begin, setting your head in your hands, balancing your elbows on the table.

“What is there to say?” Roman mirrors your pose.

“I dunno. What’s your favorite color, Romulus?”

“Green. The color of money. Next.”

“Oh, that’s so bullshit.” You lean back, laughing. He pushes off his elbows, instead crossing his arms over his chest. “Your favorite show?”

“I don’t watch television, Miss Attorney-at-Law. Eat, sleep, corporate fucking, repeat.”

“That’s kind of vile.” You take a sip of the water at your hand. “We should watch garbage reality TV together. You’d enjoy it.”

“Why watch on a screen when it’s my real life?”

“You boring piece of shit.”

Roman takes your hand from across the table, hooking your fingers together. “That I am.”

“What about movies? Or are you allergic to rainbows, fun, and joy?”

“Oh no, my throat’s itching,” he says sarcastically, pouting. “I don’t have time for any of that. And when I do, it feels… weird. I never was into movies or TV shows or video games when I was younger. I was always on eggshells with Dad, so…”

You give his hand an encouraging squeeze. “So… we can do all of that stuff together after we give ourselves a week off of work.”

“We just got back from Norway…”

“Roman. You’re really saying you’re not going to give yourself a week off for shits and gigs?”

He has trouble pushing down his smile. “Of course I will. You know me so well already.”

“We should do it after we serve your dad the papers. So he has to wait even longer to go to court.”

“Oh, Y/N, you’re evil. So perfect for me.”

You both laugh.

You both begin your meals, Roman surprisingly attentive the entire time. You both ask questions, answer them, and giggle like schoolchildren.

By the end of it, his chair is pulled all the way around the table, sitting next to yours as he tries to explain a business venture.

“So if pervs won’t disappear completely,” he says, gesturing with his hands, dead serious, “we appeal to the ones who like feet. Because who’s going to fucking know they’re your feet if they one, haven’t bought them, and two, inspect your toes in real life?”

You can’t help the ugly laugh that rips from your stomach. “Why have you thought about this in so much depth?”

“It’s infallible.”

”I didn’t know you knew what that word meant.”

He taps the side of his temple. “I’m learning. From you, specifically. Kendall’s fucking dumb.”

Back at home, Roman’s reclined into you, his head set lopsidedly on your shoulder. He scrolls through his phone absentmindedly, glancing up at you every so often, as if making sure you’re still there. You catch his eyes, and you both smile at each other.

Without thinking, you give him a peck on the lips. He lets you.

“It was hard,” he says quietly. “But it’s getting easier.”

“And so goes life.” You let your head rest on top of his. “I think you’re doing great.”

He’s quiet for a long moment. “Thanks.”

He hums, satisfied, when your nails begin raking through his hair. You stay like that, for a long while. His eyes flutter shut, his breathing regulating as time passes. You think he’s asleep when his phone rings, loud and obnoxious.

“I’m going to fuckin’ kill whoever’s calling,” he mutters, shifting so that his head is in your lap. You see Connor’s name. “I’m putting him on speaker.”

He does, and starts the conversation with, “What is it, asshole?”

“Hey, Rome. I know it’s a little late, but your fiance hasn’t been returning my calls. Or texts.”

“She thinks you’re ugly. Not interested. Stop trying.”

“Roman.”

“Just being honest.”

“Well, be serious. We need to hurry things along. I’m starting to go into the red.”

“What the fuck are you buying? Oh, wait, your gir-”

“Shut the fuck up. That douchebag of an accountant. He’s doing some shady shit, I know it.”

“Or, shocker, you need to stop spending money. Batshit crazy idea, man.”

“You’re giving me financial advice? Remember when you spend twenty grand on a watch in high school and then lost it the day of?”

“At least I had the twenty thousand to spend.”

You have to suppress a laugh.

“This isn’t what I called for. Just forward the word, okay? I don’t want Willa to have to miss anything important at the theater.”

”What’s that have to do with my girl?”

“She can speed up proceedings.”

Roman looks up at you, and you shrug. You could, but you definitely wouldn’t. Not for Connor. “Yeah, come back later.”

“Nice talking to you, too.”

☾𖤓

The next time you’re at Waystar, it’s a ‘family’ meeting in Kendall’s office. You sit on the couch, Shiv sunken into the seat next to you.

“I say you take that nasty-ass video straight to Marcia and get the good shit from her,” Shiv says. “No beating around the bush. Surely she’ll spill.”

“You’re certainly free to do that. I can’t keep it on my phone anymore- I’m prone to vomiting,” you respond.

“Anyone know about that prick from the party? The one balding in all the weird spots?” Roman asks, leaning against the wall.

“What, Peirce? That’s the dick that was sucking the life out of Dad’s bank account. He was taking money pretending to be paying taxes.”

You turn and glance at Roman. “He’s actually not that stupid, is he?” you ask incredulously.

“I feel like we’re saying that a lot,” he mutters back. “You know that that guy is Con’s accountant now? And he has literally no money left?”

“He’s never been the brightest,” Shiv says without hesitation. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“How can he miss that, though?” Kendall asks, dragging a hand over his face.

“Desperate times,” Roman supplies.

“His firm name’s Thompson & Thompson, right?” you ask.

“Fucking banger name,” Shiv says. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“They have a consultation with me tomorrow. I don’t think it’s anything good, given Connor’s recent history.”

“Lock them out,” is all Roman says.

“This is all such a headache,” Kendall mutters. “Has anyone heard from Dad recently?”

“Surprisingly, no. He’s been suspiciously quiet,” Shiv replies. “You think he’s in the hospital again?"

“Wouldn’t he say something?” you ask.

“I guess not,” Shiv says. “Makes him look weak. Someone will notice, anyway. We’re in the States, we’ll know where he is soon enough.”

“He’s scheming,” Kendall states. “He’s trying to find a loophole back into the company.”

“He wishes,” you retort. “Vote of no confidence. Can’t come back on without making a big deal about it.”

“What if he wants that? He could use it to distract us,” Shiv suggests.

“But from what?” Kendall asks, staring at his feet, boring a hole through the floor.

“You’re overthinking it,” Roman clarifies. “What does he have that he can do right now?”

“God, I don’t even want to know.” You push yourself to your feet. “I’d better head out.”

Kendall grunts a goodbye, Shiv gives you a hug. Roman walks you, and as soon as you turn the corner and nobody’s around, he takes your hand in his.

“Is this what having a crush feels like?” he asks as you wait for the elevator.

“What do you mean?”

“I never stop thinking about you. I get all giddy talking to you- just looking at you. I’m always trying to make you laugh, smile. And look at your fucking face. I don’t need to keep telling you how fucking pretty you are.”

“Hm, maybe you do,” you say, grinning.

“But really.” He lets go of your hand in the elevator, instead winding an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him. “Is this how normal people feel? All… sappy and shit?”

“I guess. I don’t think I can be considered normal, either.”

“Why not?”

“I’m into you, aren’t I?”

“Asshole. I take back what I said. You’re repulsive,” he says, lips on your jaw. When you’re in the lobby, he tells you, “Call me when you’re done,” and leaves you with a squeeze of your shoulder.

At your firm, you give your assistant a wave, gather some files, and head to a conference room. Peirce is there, waiting for you.

“Mr. Thompson,” you say politely, ignoring his outstretched hand. You wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. “Please tell me tax fraud isn’t why you asked to see me and refused to disclose why over the phone.” You both take your seats.

“I’m afraid it is. Rather, not that I committed it, because I wouldn’t be here if I did.” He takes his handkerchief and wipes away a bit of sweat from his chin. He’s a horrible liar. “Rather, some accusations that are being made. I was wondering if anything could be done. And since you’re already handling my client…”

You have to refrain from rolling your eyes at him. “If you can prove it, we can sue for defamation. That’s really it.”

Peirce straightens. “I can prove it, actually. Tax returns, receipts.”

While you don’t take cases you don’t want to(Peirce makes you want to vomit), you know that this could lead to something useful. So you tell him, “Have them faxed by tomorrow,” and he’s on his feet, thanking you profusely as you push past him.

To your surprise, however, he follows you to your office. “Can I help you?” you ask, miffed.

“I just, ah, thought that since I was here, I’d check on how my client’s suit was going.”

“It’s going,” is all you say back. “Last time I checked, I’m the J.D. between the two of us. I can handle my business like a big girl, while it disappoints me to say that you can’t do the same.” You gesture in the direction of the exit. “If you would.”

“Are you sure I can’t just-”

“Quite sure.”

“But-”

“But nothing. Take no for an answer and go before I have you removed.”

Dismayed, Peirce shuffles off.

“And tell Connor to get off my fucking ass,” you say under your breath, heading into your office. You drop your notepad, pickingup your cell and dialing Roman.

He picks up on the first ring. “What’d the weasel do?”

“Was creepy. He said he’s being accused of tax fraud and that he can prove it.”

He scoffs. “He’s going to send you a ‘get out of jail free’ card from a Monopoly game. Does he really expect anybody to buy it?”

“If he’s still in business, people have before.”

He sighs on the other end. “Come home.”

“I have some paperwork to do. Then I’ll hail a cab or something.”

“Boo fucking hoo. I want to see you.”

“You saw me an hour ago.”

“I want to see you again.” Roman pauses. “Pretty please?”

“You can wait another hour. I believe in you.”

“Aw, come on. I’m warming up to you and everything.”

You laugh. “I appreciate that, Rome,” you say sincerely. “But-”

“I’ll do your laundry for a month if you just bring the paperwork home.”

You take a moment to consider it. “You know how to work a laundry machine?”

“I’m going to murder you. Come home so I can stab you.”

☾𖤓

The minute you’re home, he pulls you into bed with him and curls up against you.

“You okay?” you murmur.

“Peachy,” he says into your shoulder. “Shiv talked to Marcia. It worked.”

“At least that bullshit was worth something.” You shudder. “Why are you going to bed so early?” He’s dressed entirely in pajamas, his shirt a soft cotton that clings to every muscle in just the right way.

“Early day. Stockholder drama.”

“I thought Kendall did that.”

“He does. I’m going because I know they’re going to fight.” You feel him smile into your skin. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“Never mind. I’m not so good with words.”

Roman’s hand finds your chin, bringing your mouth to his. When your lips meet, his hand slips up your jaw and buries in your hair. You kiss back fervently, and he matches your vigor. He kisses you like he needs your taste to breathe.

Your hand finds the fabric of his shirt and glides across the panels of his chest, and he groans into your mouth. You feel the soft, oddly satisfying scrape of his stubble against your face. He pulls away only to dot kisses on the corners of your mouth, then unevenly again on your lips.

“I think what I meant was good night,” he says cheekily.

“Jackass,” you murmur giddily into his lips. “Fuck you, Roman.”

[horriblengrossstories]

Some unhinged derek x mutt scenes that make me smile cause im sad, even if they are messed up!

🧨 “Therapy’s for Quitters”

Mutt tries to bring up trauma one night like, “Sometimes I think I’m still not okay.”

Derek, absolutely unqualified: “You’re not. But you’re mine, so that’s okay.”

Then he throws a knife at the wall and says, “Want to blow something up together? That always helps me.”

💌 Love Notes Written in the Worst Places

Derek doesn’t write love letters. He carves “MINE” into furniture. Leaves Sharpie hearts on her toothbrush. She finds "You're cute when you're ruined <3" scribbled inside her shoe. She blushes. He's proud. “Romance,” he says. “Ever heard of it?”

🎪 Domestic But Evil

They try to cook together. Derek sets something on fire. Mutt says, “You can’t just throw raw eggs in a hot pan.”

He says, “Watch me.”

She’s covered in flour, he’s shirtless with a burn, the kitchen looks like a war crime, and he dips her and kisses her like they’re in a soap opera.

🧃 His Version of Compliments

“You’re the most disturbing little thing I’ve ever seen,” he says tenderly.

“You’d let me feed you dirt if I said it was a love potion.”

“God, I’m obsessed with you. It’s unhealthy.”

Then he tries to put a leash on her while whistling a love song.

🧃 Milkshake Date from Hell

He takes her out for milkshakes and glares at every man who looks her way. When the waitress flirts with him, he loudly says, “Sorry, I already have a brainwashed gremlin at home.”Mutt sips her drink with a smirk and says, “Tell her about my collar, love.”

💣 Pillow Talk, but Unhinged

They’re cuddling. Mutt’s finally drifting off.Derek whispers, “If I die first, I want you to steal my corpse and taxidermy me.”Mutt blinks. “You’re so romantic.”He nods. “I’ll do the same for you. We’ll be furniture.”

🧃 "This is My Emotional Support Menace"

Mutt curls up in Derek’s lap at a business meeting. He strokes her hair like a Bond villain and says, “She keeps me from committing tax fraud.”She looks up and whispers, “He did that last week.”They both giggle. The room is silent.

🎭 Couple’s Costume: Fear and Loathing

She shows up in his oversized shirt and a face full of smeared eyeliner, dragging a crowbar and a purse full of candy.He’s in a three-piece,They crash a gala and start dancing like it’s prom,Nobody stops them. Nobody dares.

💅 “I Can Fix Him (But I Won’t)”

Mutt, fully decked out in glitter and blood, holding a knife:“He’s sweet once you get past the murder and the narcissism.”Derek, behind her: “I heard that.”Mutt: “See? So attentive.”