#~multi level marketing

[cyborgsrcool]

rlly dumb thing i made for my characters from an brainrot tiktok

the audio / the original tumblr post

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I can't believe Ronaldo is in an MLM

[casuallyanidiot]

what do you think of yandere priest but in more of a cult vibe?

Like a mother and young adult reader came to the neighborhood and the mother joined the "church" and became crazy religious

Okay, here me out, yandere priest to a cult that's not really a cult, but some multi level marketing scheme.

Tw. for age gap, financial abuse, and religious themes

He's less motivated by faith than he is his own greed. He loves living in luxury scoffs at the notion that he should be more humble. He worms his way into a quaint, suburban neighborhood slowly but surely over several years and drips in bits and pieces of information about a company that's just guaranteed to make you money.

You get to work from home! Be your own boss! And the products themselves work miracles!

Yandere Priest who is calm, charismatic, suave, and oh so charming. Most of the flock he tends to don't even realize he's scamming them out of their life's savings. They're all just far too dumb to even think of him in a negative light.

You and your mom moved to the neighborhood after finally managing to improve your financial situation. You were enrolled in a local community college and had several low paying jobs along with your mother, and the two of you lived frugally until you could afford enough to live in a nicer part of town than the one you had been stuck in your entire life.

The two of you are welcomed warmly by the church, the community, and yandere priest. Your mom is happy to have found such a nice place to live, and she's instantly enticed by the promises of making money through joining the congregation. She gets a bit of success through it at first, and soon she's hooked.

You however, don't buy it one bit.

Yandere priest is intrigued by you. While your mother begins to zealously preach the word of the bible and the word of his money, you seem to have an inherent distrust for him. It makes sense, he thinks. He essentially just views your little family as another wallet in his collection. Still, as much as he understands you, a poor little lamb who wasn't joined his flock yet, he can't let you roam free lest you lead others astray.

It's then he really starts to lay the charm on thick. You remain unconvinced despite the fact that he begins to visit your home often (It's an honor by the way. Your mother knows her place. She graciously welcomes him in and shouts at you when you don't show him respect.), and he catches you scowling at him when you think no one is looking.

You're just so frustrating to him. At first you were like a little challenge to beat, something that he had to work to get for once, but you're proving to be a true pain in the neck. You cats doubt on his name to anyone who'll listen, argue with your mom and try to get her to quit his church often, and he's even caught you trying to snoop around in some financial documents of others around the neighborhood. He begins to think of you as less of a lamb and more of a vixen.

It doesn't help that you're pretty and cute. You're a young faced, rebellious spit fire who calls him out like no one has before, and even though he grits his teeth every time you glare at him, he can't help but love it.

For the first time in a life, he actually has someone he would even deign to call an equal.

Just like with all the money he's sucked out of these poor people, he didn't care that you're practically half his age, or that he could ruin your life with a few words. No, all he wanted was for you to finally just give up, to just set aside your pride and let him win.

All the while, your mother has been changing. She was once a sweet if not ditzy woman who would do anything to protect her child, though now she was wrapped up in the same greed that had been running through this neighborhood since he sunk his teeth in it. Your finances had been depleted despite the fact that she insisted that the church's company was legitimate and making good money. While the two of you had been close, she would yell at you for anything that went out of line from what the church and Yandere priest preached.

You were losing your mother, your community, your hope. If this habit of her spending all of your money on the church continued, soon you were worried that you wouldn't be able to pay for the house or your tuition. You were desperate to get your life back in order, and who but him would be there with a single, honeyed option left for you?

Yandere priest was certain that if he bled you dry just a little longer, you'd eventually accept his oh so gracious offer and finally fall into his hands.

[hoshizoralone]

two dudes chilling (for @fiiib1 !)

[magick-mr-skull]

I hunger

Sorry if it’s choppy

[bigbootart]

Finley contemplates acronyms with Rudy

[gwhizz-138]

Came back for this, because what the fuck. Ohmygod hello????

(YES QUEEN BOOTS HOUSE DOWN MAMA SLAY SLAY THE BEATS DOWN DRAG FUCK SLUT YUM YUM PURR BITCH YAAS QUEEN ATE DOWN NO LUBE PURR MAMA)

[imparateasa]

it’s always so funny seeing people vehemently opposed to sasunaru as a ship because i don’t even need to ship them, THEY SHIP THEM, literally made a heart with their blood and people still talk like they ain’t produce

[irenespring]

Arise, Beloved. I believe we have been presented a fascinating opportunity. A very nice woman sent me a message on whatever is the new term for the Facebook. She said she saw me "the other day" and said I have nice style. She is very kind and trustworthy and correct. Yes, she is correct. You have seen me in my sunglasses. You are aware of this. Anyways, she offers "full time pay for part time hours." I could even work from here, in fact. She says you can make many thousands of dollars by selling these leggings. Yes, many thousands. Since Louis left my efforts at capitalism have been suffering, and here is a very nice woman offering to me a business. Ah. I see. Well you do not agree because you have not heard the best part. It is a surprise, the leggings. You never know what leggings you will get. Is that not fascinating? You will always be a surprise. Never boring to your customers. How can I be boring with mystery leggings, I ask? How can I be boring then? ...I am not get "fixated on an old argument" please do not fixate me into a current argument when I am happy from good news. She also says I could recruit others below me to also sell these mystery leggings. It is worth ten thousand dollars, Beloved. To have a leggings coven.

[nick-carra-gay-for-gatsby]

I feel like modern-day Jay would be involved with at least one MLM

[sysmedsaresexist]

Using IFS to build my own mlm army

The three phase approach:

Step 1: split

Step 2: ??? Stop splitting now?? Please?

Step 3: profit?? Please tell me there's at least profit

[cyborgsrcool]

Ship Names, Dynamics, and AUs 😁

if i've talked to you b4 abt my ocs, you'll prolly know that im a multishipper for them. i LOVE every pairing between the main 4, and a couple others lowkey.

so! i have made this complete comprehensive list of each ship and their name and songs and dynamics and au variants :))

under cut ⬇️

Artificial Intelligence / Jade x Ivan:

Appeal: Ivan would give anything for Jade. She is the physical manifestation of his hard work and research. He gets a little annoyed when she is "unreasonable" or "rude" in his mind, but he understands why she feels that way... for the most part.

Jade somewhat admires Ivan. She finds interest in his methods and processes, the way his mind works. He may be a little... odd, but he's dedicated at least.

Problems: One of Ivan's main conflicts involving Jade in canon is that he has a problem seeing her as fully human. Many times early on, he refers to her as "it" and as his creation. Later on, he learns to tell the difference, and treats her more as an equal.

Jade is uncomfortable with Ivan for the majority of their time together until he starts to be honest with her and treat her as an equal. She still finds him off putting, but feels he's earned at least a little respect.

AU Variants:

Assistant Jade - Jade is Ivan's assistant. Different power dynamic, slightly different characterization of Jade based on different memory loss.

Non-Robot Jade - Jade is a bit less injured, leading to Ivan helping her with her injuries rather than bringing her back from the dead. Jade is not uncomfortable with Ivan as much, but Ivan doesn't have the connection he would have with something he created.

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Multi Level Marketing / Robin x Ivan:

Appeal: Mostly silly goofy if I'm being honest. The combination of a person who wants to seem like they have a lot of power and someone who naturally has a lot of power is pretty cool, but thats not really what most of the content floating around in my brain for them is. Ivan is generally a pretty non-serious person, and Robin likes to stay alert and in control of scenarios, which leads to a lot of "hey did you-" "SHUT UP."

In the post-plot canon, they are kind neutral with each other. Ivan still admires Robin for his ability to build a business in such harsh conditions, and Robin is kinda weirded out by Ivan but still respects him for being able to bring Jade back.

Problems: Robin finds Ivan incredibly annoying. More than any of the other characters.

That's it that's the main problem

AU Variants:

Robot Robin: robin dies instead of Jade, leading to him being revived by Ivan. dynamic is more similar to Jade and Ivan's.

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Smart Shooter / Ivan x Erin:

Appeal: Ivan and Erin are similar in a lot of ways. A past they hate, a family they don't want to be associated with, and a feeling that people might not understand them or their intentions.

Erin is probably the member of the main 4 that cares the most about Ivan. She feels like she can relate to him, and understands his intentions (at least most of the time).

Ivan likes Erin the most to hang out with, mostly because she's nicer to him than Jade or Robin are. She also (canonly) thinks she's very pretty.

Problems: Erin killed Ivan's grandfather. Now, in a normal scenario, this would be a total deal breaker. But it's actually a different problem from just "oh no my grandpa". Ivan does not like his grandfather. After he learned how corrupt he was, he actually spent a lot of time trying to help those affected by his laws (which is what led to his finding jades corpse lol). He was somewhat happy when he learned he had been assassinated, but... Malcom Barron's death created a chain of events that both killed the rest of Ivan's family and caused the collapse of the government. Two things that Ivan HATES. I imagine he wouldn't blame Erin directly, but it's still a hard spot.

THAT'S NOT ALL! It's also possible that Erin could see a lot of the president in Ivan, both because of blood connection and because they have similar mannerisms or what-not. This kind of sucks for her, because the person she sees almost daily only reminds her of her corrupt old boss, a man she killed.

AU variants:

Childhood Friends: Slightly different universe, where Ivan visited his grandfather more frequently and was friends with Erin. This would cause a bit more drama in the "you killed my grandfather" department, as he would be more personally connected with Malcom.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Aimbot / Jade x Erin:

Appeal: I'm not even gonna lie here, I have no idea why these two work. Something something masc x fem.

I guess it could be like, difference in how they act? Erin is really kind and accommodating, kind of a people pleaser. Jade doesn't really care how people view her, and says what she feels.

I got nothing else guys.

Problems: Love triangle bs mostly.

Erin dated Robin and he broke up with her when he realized Jade is still alive and he still had feelings for her. They are chill by the end of the story.

If Erin and Jade date that leaves Robin in a bit of silly situation.

That's it guys.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Jade x Robin (no other ship name yet):

Appeal: Childhood best friends. They did everything together, nearly inseparable. He gained feelings for her somewhere along the way, but never ended up confessing them. A corrupt government's reaction to a protest leaves one of them dead, and the other with large burns, immense guilt, and a couple of the other's belongings. He moves on, eventually, finding something new to do, and new person to spend his life with. Till the day a cyborg claiming to be her appears in his office. He doesn't believe it. "It couldn't be her. She's dead, I saw it." And to make matters worse, she doesn't remember nearly anything. He outright denies it. He doesn't know who's trying to scam him, but he won't give in. She proves to him by pointing out the necklace he's wearing. "Can I at least have it back?"

(srry that was rlly long its basically a plot synopsis)

Problems: Jade is not interested. She is much more focused on trying to regain her memories and understand who she was before she died than getting into a romance, especially with someone she has such foggy memories about.

AU Variants:

Good Version: Jade doesn't die, Robin doesn't get scarred, the government doesn't collapse. Very healthy relationship

Non-Memory Loss: Jade dies and comes back, but still has all her memories. Also more healthy than canon.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Business Partners / Robin x Erin:

Appeal: They run their business together. They spend a lot of time together, and just overall enjoy each others company.

They kind of have a traditional dynamic, with a stronger male figure and a more timid or weak female figure.

This is kind of funny when you consider that one of them is an ex-assassin and its not the "stronger masculine figure".

Problems: Doomed in canon. /srs

They are dating by the beginning of the story, fairly happily, but they aren't honest with each other. Robin doesn't tell Erin about Jade at all, and Erin doesn't tell Robin anything about her being an assassin, or really anything about her family at all.

Eventually, when Robin finds out Jade is still alive, he realizes he still has feelings for her, and doesn't feel like he should continue his relationship with Erin. This is kind of the last straw in a collection of events leading to her spiraling and getting into a mindset of "i never should've stopped being an assassin, i cant live like this".

they end up chill by the end but... without aus this relationship cannot work.

speaking of aus....

AU Variants:

Sibling Swap: Erin remains an assassin and Robin meets her after he witnesses Jade's death.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

thats all for the main 6 ships. ill prolly rb or edit later to add more rarepair-y ships but im not gonna rn

bye!

[dykeofmisfortune]

house md fandom feels like a pyramid scheme to me because i started watching bc many of my mutuals were posting abt it and now after i started watching it i feel like many other of my mutuals started watching it including my internet bff who is now balls deep obsessed with it. why do i feel like i'm recruiting the house md hyperfixation mlm

[theofficialuriel]

“There is beauty in imperfections. They made you what you are. An inseparable piece of everything… I admired about you.”

[balkanradfem]

I've been watching so many anti-MLM videos lately and listening to the horror stories related to it. The basics of why it's a scam is that the 80-90% of the company is constantly losing time and money endlessly labouring, while it's all trickling to the top, making the 1% rich. And it's pointed out over and over how this is a scam, unsustainable, exploitative, and often the community around it resembles a cult and convinces the majority it's their fault that they're always losing and becoming more poor.

But isn't this exactly how capitalism works as well? Around 90% of people labouring endlessly for the bare minimum, while the money trickles to the top making the 1% rich? Only you are allowed to leave an MLM, if you're able to tear yourself out from the cult-like environment, but you can't leave capitalism without risking your survival. And this is a scheme that's made for us to live in, and even if we question it, we can only tear ourselves out if we discover wild new ways of surviving that does not include money. In a world where you need to pay money just to keep being alive.

[adibkhorram]

I have a book out today!! I'll Have What He's Having is my debut adult romance about queer love, Kansas City, best friends, wine, Persian food, diaspora, that feeling of being a Millennial and your life not being where you thought it was supposed to be, the Muppets, and, of course, butts. You can buy it now wherever books are sold. It would be cool if you did tbh.