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I was thinking of becoming evil next week if that’s okay with you guys.

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encountering an inconvenience while cold: damn that sucks, oh well, i’ll figure something else out!!

encountering an inconvenience while hot: we all deserve to die right now, come on everyone, lets all go die

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I wanna be called “she” the same way that sailors call their boats “she”.

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Those monkeys are just visiting my circus, officer. I swear they aren’t mine.

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Getting fucked up pondering this omniscient orb right now.

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Love it when it feels like the world’s gonna end and everyone’s gonna die and then you eat some food and it’s like actually everything is pretty chill now that I think about it.

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Crashing so hard that I’m about to email my teacher and ask if she’s mad at me.

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had a dream last night where me and some friends were discussing which planet was the transest. I decided it was Mars and it was transmasc.

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girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀

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just made up a guy in my head and honestly he’s saying some weird shit rn.

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It appears that I have hooled again.

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I'm like if a werewolf was a girl on her period

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your freak-of-nature boyfriend that we locked up in a high security lab is loose in the fucking facility send help before he kills us all

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Cracked my neck so hard I feel like a glow stick.

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Whoever invited worm grandma to the function is hereby banned from all future functions.

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why must i be punished in such heinous ways?(has to use a big fork)