3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts - Tumblr blog

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

I'm currently watching Grimm and I got to the episode where the wesen is based off my favorite animal... The bearded vulture

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

POV: you do another all nighter playing video games and talking to friends ending it with a TV marathon... Currently on season 5

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

I have a Google doc that I'm writing all my poems in I have about 8 so far and I'm planning on writing a bunch more it'll be spread out but still-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12Lkyp5-zoTvgBqOsFF9VSUDDYO5SREBrsVbfgK1ZrLo/edit

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

If anyone's wondering... I did NOT have a breakdown at 4am it's not possible for me to cry when everyone expects me to be the light to save them. I can NOT get overwhelmed and stressed, people lean on me for support. I am not the one who needs help

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Totally not my English teacher making us watch The Lion King cause we're going over Hamlet this quarter👀👀👀👀👀

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Also update on this ik it's been over a year but like hear me out

It was me having a difficult time trying to decipher platonic and romantic feelings once again

We did date, I felt- wrong when we dated like no romantic feelings besides me wanting to touch this person in the sense of hugs but like-I thought I'd have to go full out on her. Examples being on Valentine's day me getting her a fuck ton of chocolate, a rose, a card with paragraphs of heartfelt words, one of my old stuffed twin tree frogs cause couple frogs yaknow that I never got back. I even made her paintings with once again heartfelt words on the back for Christmas. I also did whatever she wanted on my birthday(she took my favorite jacket and most of my birthday money) I even did a painting of us walking towards a sunset.

While on the other hand the only thing she did for me is hug me at the end of lunch breaks and if I initiate it hold my hand.

I talked with my most trusted people(best friend that's gone through the main events of my life so far) about me loosing feelings for her. And like- when I vented this out I realized I really just wanted to be friends with her and I needed to break up and tell her why. So that's exactly why I did.

I told her everything this is what I said and I quote "hey I'm really sorry to bring this up but, lately Ive been feeling as if we don't have any romance between us and I still want us to stay friends but all in all what I'm trying to say is that I want to break up with you. I'm sorry" and she called me immediately after that bringing me into a panic cause I thought she'd yell and be angry with me

But she broke down and i personally hate to hear/see people broken but idk what to do with comforting them. But she kept repeating "I was going to ask you on a date but you never told me you were loosing feeling for me" fyi we've never been on a date or anything romantic besides me taking her out on my birthday

But in the end she said she'd need time to get over it saying I was the first person she's loved(which hurt me a ton plus the fact she came out as pan to her morman family since she was dating me) but she understood. Now she's still hasn't talked to me unless it's in a small group chat I have with my friends from band.

My friends said I have terrible taste in s/o even my first/last ex before her said that. I've only ever dated twice😅😅😅 sorry for the long ass story I've belted out😅

Our relationship lasted December 17th 2019 - June 26 2020

I THINK IM IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW SHE SAID “back off my woman” and I don’t know what to do. What do I do?????????

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Ok yaknow how quarantine has drained our mental health to the point of barely functioning? I have a great idea because of this(cause I've been listening to Mother Mother ALOT (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)) so like-

POV: you walk into the school with your smallest LOUDEST speaker and fucking b l a s t that shit, Back in School by Mother Mother with you and your friends vibing with you as you do it. You don't turn off the music even if the admins ask you to turn it off cuz what are they gunna do? Suspend you? You've had a year of quarantine, you're more powerful at the sense of not giving a flying fucking fuck(but you will still cry yourself every night cause you think your a failure and don't deserve the friends you have now and you can't even fall asleep at a normal time or a normal amount cause you have insomnia).

But think about the utter C H A O S this would bring this idea Sparks joy in me but idk if it's original. Is it? I just came up with it when the song was playing while I was packing for a vacation that idk when we'll get to cause the snow WILL be a major setback. Also I said when you go back since my school hasn't but slot of school have so like- idk what to do there😅😅😅

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Update!!!!!: I got a switch, saved up a lot of money for it and all I'm playing is deltarune gang gang I'm broke now

Wow great. My crackhead walking teacher posted a scavenger hunt that we have to do. Keep in mind I live in a poor neighborhood. They put down a fucking Tesla. WHO HAS THAT KIND OF MONEY!!! I CANT EVEN BUY A SWITCH LET ALONE A WORKING VEHICLE

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

When there is a big ass storm outside, you're in your french class, the teacher disconnects, and the class starts an among us server

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

I’m wondering if someone is yandere and crushing on ya, and you’re kinda yandere as well. Like will kill if it comes to that point but won’t because you don’t wanna go out and find another body hiding spot. But like would the other person be flustered and some stuff. 100% turn on in my book

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

DO NOT ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST PASS OUT WHILE TAKING A SHOWER. I REPEAT. DO NOT ACCIDENTALLY PASS OUT WHILE TAKING A SHOWER. That shit makes you feel like your life flash before your eyes and get a concussion

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Bro these 4 people are boosting my ego so much. Thank you, sincerely. Legit thought nobody sees my page. I don’t stand out that much

I may or may not of offered all my sleep just to play MysticMessenger and I have no regrets I love my sleep deprived gamer boys

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

What happens after you don’t sleep for over 24 hours just reading fanfics and gaming....

Someone who actually sleeps: I’m gunna kick your sorry ass!!

Me: not gunna lie. That’s highkey kinky content ya puttin out there

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

I may or may not of offered all my sleep just to play MysticMessenger and I have no regrets I love my sleep deprived gamer boys

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Itight just be me but doesn't anyone practically break out into song because it's been stuck in your head the whole day. Like I started singing what did I miss in front of my family and now their looking at me weirdly. Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy. Am I right?????????

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Wow great. My crackhead walking teacher posted a scavenger hunt that we have to do. Keep in mind I live in a poor neighborhood. They put down a fucking Tesla. WHO HAS THAT KIND OF MONEY!!! I CANT EVEN BUY A SWITCH LET ALONE A WORKING VEHICLE

[3am-sleep-deprived-thoughts]

Don’t you just love it when your playing a game then someone walks up to you and is all like “dude I’m leaving give my game back” and that’s the last time you’ll ever play that game cause you’re hella broke