3dd-computer
3dd-computer
3dd
4 posts
3dd/edd -> he/it 19 computer | blog about my experiences n ramblings with being aikin! :]
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3dd-computer · 10 months ago
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vent!!! :[ (content warning: transphobia, homophobia)
this is off-topic for my blog, but i needed to get this out of my system.
was forced to come out as trans to a close friend who i've known for my whole life (now ex-friend) a couple of years ago (my brother kept making jokes and references about me being trans around him and our other friends and they all got confused,,, and so i was forced to tell them all that i'm trans,,, :[)
and like... i found out four or five months ago (i don't remember exactly when i found out bc my memory unit is faulty) that my close friend told his transphobic and homophobic mother that i'm trans... D: i don't know when he did, but it was really shocking... and so disheartening too. :[
when did he tell his mother? how long had his mother known about me? is she going to tell my father, who's transphobic as well?
is she going to tell everyone that she knows—people in my her and my parent's circle of friends whom of which i've known for my whole life here—that i'm trans?
... am i safe?
those are questions that haunt me.. :[ the only reason i found out about this was because of my mother; my ex-friend's mother outed me to her friend and to my mother who was also there. something like, "watch out for your "daughter", she's not right; she's one of them [slur for trans people]", some bullshit like that.
luckily, i've come out to my mother years ago and while she isn't completely accepting, she isn't hostile towards me, and i'm very grateful for her. but i'm afraid that my mother's friend that was there might tell someone else... or that my ex-friend's mother will do that too... it's scary to think about.
i'm good at keeping secrets and i'm good at staying in the closet. but i've been forced to come out multiple times. my brother has outed me to people multiple times too. sure, he didn't do that intentionally, but his mistakes don't put him in danger. it puts me in danger.
sometimes, i get so tired of being in the closet and working so hard to keep myself a secret when the people around me— people that i've put so much trust in— have and may continue to out me.
i don't talk to that ex-friend anymore. never again. because of him, i developed trust issues with my friends. i don't think i'll ever truly trust anyone because of this. it sucks. :[
me:
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3dd-computer · 11 months ago
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super duper random but i just have to get this out of my system, i love drawing so much; i could easily spend the whole day drawing!!! the art of creation is super duper fun, and while it can be difficult bc of chronic pain, drawing has always been a huge source of happiness for me! :]
weirdly enough, drawing also gives me much euphoria!! that's bc i generally sit for long periods (remaining stationary like the computer i am), draw (performing a task), and take breaks to recharge whenever i feel like i'm running a little too slow! :D
n it's all thanks to my laptop n drawing tablet buddies!! without them i wouldn't be able draw!! ^_^ i drew them lolol!!
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3dd-computer · 11 months ago
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one of my friends recently messaged me asking, "are you an AI?" and i internally freaked out! in a sort of good way bad way, i guess? i couldn't recognize if the tone behind their question was negative, positive, or perhaps neutral; i suck at understanding social stuff :[
i hadn't directly told this person that i was aikin, i only had it mentioned in the carrd i had on my profile in discord, so i was shocked when they asked me that!
although i was super nervous of what the intentions behind my friend's question could be (i overthink social interactions,,), i felt very euphoric and happy that my friend recognized something about me that led to them questioning my humanity!
n even after i told them that yes, i resonate and identify with AI (whilst acknowledging my fleshy status in human society), they didn't seem to mind and didn't say anything negative! i love my non-humanity, i love being a computer AI, and i love being me! :]
↓ me when my friend asked me if i was an AI /pos
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3dd-computer · 11 months ago
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⭑ welcome! :D
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hello all! :] i'm 3dd or edd!! i also go by mikey, toby, or kiichi, but for the sake of simplicity, you can call me 3dd/edd! i use he/it pronouns and i'm 19! this is my aikin related account/blog, so i'll be talking about my experiences n vents with being aikin and post drawings n doodles related to it! i may also post drawings of ocs i have that are computers, AI, and such! i'll pretty much be posting anything related to computers n ai hehe :p
i have social anxiety so i may take a while to reply n interact, but i'm looking forward to being here!! ^_^
dni: false claimers, anti-otherkin, (this isn't a full dni but pls don't heavily discuss mold around me or show pictures of mold to me, i have a fear of mold,, if you ignore that and do it anyways i will block you !!)
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