4am-alive

[4am-alive]

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

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“I need a life that isn’t just about needing to escape my life.”

— Robert Polito (via hplyrikz)

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a perfect world is never perfect, just filled with lies

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Drive carefully…

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Graham Dean - Close-Up Kiss, watercolor on paper, 1988

[4am-alive]

Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound.

Beau Taplin, Remedy (via books-n-quotes)

[4am-alive]

I knew that I was dying. something in me said, go ahead, die, sleep, become as them, accept. then something else in me said, no, save the tiniest bit. it needn’t be much, just a spark. a spark can set a whole forest on fire. just a spark. save it.

Charles Bukowski (via thequotejournals)

[4am-alive]

You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul, but cracks to put their love into, is the most calming thing in this world.

Emery Allen  (via perrfectly)

[4am-alive]

Ever notice how, when we’re kids, they call us boys and girls. And there’s no wiggle room in titles like that. And maybe it feels a little suffocating, and maybe it feels right. But I grew up, found my curves and my voice— hair in the places we’re not allowed to talk about. And all I hear about are, even now, all these men and girls. Girls. Like while they were busy getting older, I got stuck in this prepubescent wet dream, where boys with hungry hands run fingers down my hairless thighs and heave humid breaths at the seam of my neck. See, I noticed men have this way of using infantile language like love poems. You’re his “girl”– You’re always gonna be his “girl” He rattles it off like the sweetest kind of promise, and dresses you up in your best doll clothes, and this is what you’ve got. This is what you’re given. Ladies! How many of your fathers ever told you you would always be Daddy’s Little Girl, even after you were paying your own mortgage? And exactly how many eight year old boys have watched fathers go off to work, go off to war, to get told they’re man of the house, now. Even though they’ve got two older sisters, with high school diplomas, even though they’ve got a mother with hands made of the same kind of marble they build monuments out of– but no. That little boy, can’t even reach over the counter, that little boy, he’s a man, now. I don’t know how many years I’m expected to stave off the rougher parts of womanhood. I gotta buff out my wrinkles, I gotta paint on my face. They don’t get to see all of the things that make me. See, I’ve got these beautiful stretch marks that break like creamy tributaries over my thighs. So I wanna know, what makes me girl and what makes me woman? And how come I’m not the one who gets to decide?

Girl, by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)

[4am-alive]

Honestly

Honestly. When you’re depressed going up doesn’t seem like an option, sometimes going down feels better then sitting still and trying to carry all that weight, sometimes it’s easier to just let it pull you down instead of fighting it. Sometimes it’s not just a matter of trying to keep your head above water, but a matter of having a cement block glued to your hands and trying keep it over your head in he middle of an empty ocean. It gets exhausting, and sometimes you just have to stop kicking and let that cement block drag you to the bottom, hoping that you can hold your breathe long enough to swim back to the top.

So please don’t judge or criticize people for giving up, don’t call them weak or assume you’re a stronger person for not giving up because if they got to the point of giving up then that means they’ve been carrying a hell lot more weight then you. And sometimes what to appears to be what we consider giving up, is actually just someone trying to hold their breathe and make it back to the top.

[4am-alive]

I was an open wound. You were an infection. But I still lathered you onto my skin. Because you told me you were medicine.

-Arlia Morrissey