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imagine you're a priest and you know this local family pretty well, you've watched their kids grow up, you were at the daughter's wedding and you end up officiating at the youngest son's funeral following his defintely-not-a-suicide. then the night of said funeral the eldest son shows up drunk off his fucking ass, SCREAMING about how he needs a confession asap, and when you finally get him in the booth he delivers a Shakespearan monologue of apocalyptic self-loathing, capped with the revelation that he's a) homosexual and b) fully convinced he's fucked the Literal Devil. and before you can even wrap your head around that let alone figure out a solution, the "devil" in question breaks into your church, sets it on fire, rips you out of your confession booth, and fucking eats you in front of the altar, right before he and the guy you were trying to help get gay married over your still-warm corpse. rip Father Matthias, you were a real one.

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Need an Untucked style episode featuring The Pantheon of Discord tbh.

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if i had a gay little son i would put him in itty bitty tailored suits and raise him to be evil

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Dream blunt rotation, people born February 19th.

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Some of you have never said “of course” to an open relationship only to hear your lover’s heart dancing with someone else and then watch him pull over and drain a dog and run down an alleyway for two more rats and it shows

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"youd do numbers on tumblr" girl i am on tumblr and the numbers? 4

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no way ppl are using ai to write ao3. what happened to being a tortured writer. what happened to blood on the page. what happened to the ao3 curse. people used to get run over, have their houses burned down, break their entire spines and they still put in the work to finish a chapter. fuck you, using ai. y’all are weak

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lestat in the first episode be like "oh no i dropped my anti racist literature books! i'm 6'2 btw"

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people in vampire media be like .... so they just suck the blood out? they don't find more inventive ways to survive with it? centuries of life, no one wants to get creative? take a cooking class?

but don't want to acknowledge the innovations of the vampire armand. like, my dude single-handedly came out with carbonated blood when the soda stream debuted in 1955. rat soup? invented it in the microwave in 1973. blood milkshakes? threw it together one night in his second favorite blender in 1998. blood fondue fountain? what did you think he was doing on september 11, 2001 in new york? stalking his boyfriend? NO. 👏 MAKING 👏 FUCKING 👏 MAGIC. 👏

don't insult my cooking mama princess armand de nothing, okay? gordon ramsey could never.

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My wife (ao3) lying in her hospital bed (down for maintenance) as I hold her hand lovingly, waiting for the moment she wakes again (waiting for ao3 to go back up).

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Tim Curry with his GameBoy on the set of The Three Musketeers (1993)

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Horace Slughorn strikes me as someone who would really fuck with monopoly.

Lily definitely bought him his first board, and now he owns dozens of editions.

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Did you eat the baby Louis

Was it raining Louis

Are you schizophrenic Louis

Did we fuck Louis

What an interview.

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Trixie Mattel & Katya React to Interview with the Vampire (Season 1) | Netflix