a-troubled-bird

[a-troubled-bird]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[a-troubled-bird]

your silence is both / a blessing / and a curse

[a-troubled-bird]

how do you learn to be kind to yourself? / how do you learn to forgive yourself for existing? / how do you just make peace with the conditions that formed you? / how do you coexist with yourself so easily?

[a-troubled-bird]

Are we all bored of the Evil Child horror trope yet. I am. Can we stop being like that about kids with behavioral issues

[a-troubled-bird]

reminds me of this overview of coercive mind control by Margaret Thaler Singer, it rly helped me when coming to terms with the cultishness of the tti and my program particularly. maybe it’ll help you too.

[a-troubled-bird]

[a-troubled-bird]

[a-troubled-bird]

One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.

[a-troubled-bird]

[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

[a-troubled-bird]

Being in a toxic friendship/relationship is so crazy bc you need to ask people if certain things the person does are normal and they’re like “no that’s not normal” “no cianna this is not normal” and they have to affirm it over and over and you still don’t believe it and you still think you’re crazy or at fault

[a-troubled-bird]

i used to have no hope for the future but now i'm thinking. i want rich people food. i want rare sirloin steak. i've never had sirloin steak in my life. i think i want to try it before i die.

[a-troubled-bird]

I remember years ago when I was still in therapy I told my therapist that I felt bad asking my friends for help because a lot of them were also going through some bad stuff and she told me

“You know, sometimes people in crisis will enjoy helping. It can be a distraction from their own problems.”

And then the next week I reached out to a friend who was in the middle of going through something about what I was going through and my therapist was right. That friend jumped at the opportunity to help.

And I’ve realized since then that my own problems rarely have anything to do with my ability to help others with theirs unless I am literally having an attack of some kind at that moment. In fact, it is actually refreshing to work on other peoples problems with them sometimes. Listening to problems you’re not soaking in constantly and helping your friend is often something you just want to do because you care about them. And you don’t stop caring about people because you’re having a hard time right now.

So I guess sometimes inviting someone into your sinking ship does work actually.

[a-troubled-bird]

[a-troubled-bird]

Does anyone else have an list of 10-15 untouchable thoughts that if you let yourself remeber or think about them for even a second it’s excruciating or is this a me thing

[a-troubled-bird]

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl who desperately wants to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

[a-troubled-bird]

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

[a-troubled-bird]

they had some of yall on zoloft at 14. man. SUE