abrahamlincolon

[abrahamlincolon]

[abrahamlincolon]

Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.

[abrahamlincolon]

American movie be like

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There have been so many different James Bond actors because the actors that play him and cameramen keep shooting each other. This also explains why the films take so long to produce.

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At the climax of Avengers: Endgame (2019), Dr. Strange holds up a single finger to Iron Man. This represents the first panel of Loss, and informs Stark of the sacrifice he has to make.

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2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

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All you’ve ever wanted was to be feared and rule the world but every villainous act you commit backfires. Steal candy from a baby? Poisoned candy, baby saved. Steal the baby? Abusive parents. Threw a woman off a building? Push she needed to unlock her powers of flight, she’s now your sidekick.

[abrahamlincolon]

Sunny spent the better part of the afternoon working his way into a paper bag.

Not sure about reasoning his way OUT of one though. Time will tell

[abrahamlincolon]

the greeks at the gates of troy

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every good incarnation of dr who is reductible to some balance of three basic traits: 

1. chaotic good mad scientist 

2. off-the-shits academic 

3. horrid little goblin

[abrahamlincolon]

a ranking of crowley hair

1. eden, 4004 bc. it’s okay. he’s getting the hang of hair. not entirely sure what he wants to do with it yet. fun curls, kinda snakey. not bad, necessarily, but not quite there yet. 7/10

2. mesopotamia, 3004 bc. better! just look at those braids! still waiting for people to invent mirrors, i guess, or maybe just putting the braids wherever he feels like it when he’s bored. either way, it’s a good gay look. 9/10

3. golgotha, 33 ad. again, not much has changed. no more visible braids, but the hood! he’s adding to the drama! you really can’t go wrong with hood and long hair drama. 8/10

4. rome, 41 ad. NOW things are getting shaken up. gay and impulsively cut all his hair off. but it’s not good! please stop. extra points for the fun little crown. 2/10

5. the kingdom of wessex, 537 ad. no visible hair. 1/10 for helmet

6. the globe theatre, 1601. the hair? not bad. flowy. has good volume, good waves. the beard? noooooo. 4/10

7. paris, 1793. STOP. just STOP. mr crowley sir go back to your room and redo your hair this minute. 0/10

8. st. james’s park, 1862. he gets points for the top hat. and those sunglasses? iconic. but he gets minus so many points for the sideburns. 3/10

9. london, 1941. good hat, though it covers his hair, making it hard to judge. likely it’s just short and slicked back. not bad, but boring. 5/10

10. soho, 1967. i will admit, the more i look at it, the more this one looks kinda cute in a lesbian way. or maybe it’s the pathos of “you go too fast for me” he has to deal with that’s getting to me. whatever the case, 1967 crowley hair is doing okay. 7/10

11. demon disco dancing, 1970s. ahhhhhh. someone please make him shave. extra pity point for his dancing. 2/10

12. london, 2007. good, good, much improved. cute and ready to party. 9/10

13. nanny, 2012. he’s obviously putting in some real effort here. he knows what he thinks nannies should look like and he’s going hard for it. unfortunately what he thinks is a good nanny look is not entirely flattering on him, but he’s trying. 6/10 for effort

14. not nanny, 2012. okay now THIS. THIS is the pinnacle of crowley hair. just LOOK at that little half bun barely constrained by the hair tie. it’s cute! it’s fun! it’s flirty! peak hairstyle for trying to tempt your boyfriend into running his fingers through to pull it out of its confines.100/10

15. present day. well, he looks like david tennant. i mean he is david tennant, and this is david tennant’s actual hair, but there’s just something about this sort of sticky uppy hairstyle that is inextricable from doctor who for me. still, obviously it isn’t a bad look for him. 8/10

16. this one’s just sad and gay. 10/10 for somebody to love

[abrahamlincolon]

Please listen to this sax solo that came from the goddamn veggietales larryboy soundtrack

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When I was younger and reading Order of the Phoenix, I didn’t know that punting meant like boating so when Fred and George make the swamp and Filch has to punt the students across I literally imagined him drop kicking them across

just another day at hogwarts

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wait hold on i saw the funniest fucking image

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Dimitri: Name one bad decision I made.

Gilbert: Would you like a list?

Byleth: We can organize it by date, location or the amount of trouble you created.

[abrahamlincolon]

i’m laughing so hard because they really put pennywise on the stairs in this promo image, making this movie look like some political drama that also just happens to star a clown

[abrahamlincolon]

me: I don’t like the way that the HP characters all end up married to the people they fell for at Hogwarts, it’s really unrealistic and weird

also me: when Sirius Black was fourteen he looked across the table at breakfast one day and thought “oh. I would like to kiss Remus, on the mouth” and that was It for him, forever