academicslytherpuff

[academicslytherpuff]

The scariest thing about Harry Potter..

Is those fuckin,,,, moving staircases?!? I get lost walking between classes if I take a different route then usual, and that's in a city with a fairly organized block structure (at least on campus it is). I cannot imagine trying to learn how to get around a gigantic castle like Hogwarts, let alone one that changes every day! I can just see myself as a young 12 yr old trying to ask for directions and Peeves sends me on some wild goose chase... anyway the students at Hogwarts are either all badasses with photographic memory or constantly getting lost

[academicslytherpuff]

Mirror of Erised

I want to look in the mirror of erised! Idk what I desire most in this world at all and maybe it would actually help me with my goals? Like, think about it. I'm in college and I not sure what career path I wanna take, but if I see myself in the mirror like on a backpacking trip in the Himalayas maybe I would be able to take a step back and have some sort of ~deep realization~ about the person I "really am "

Then on the other hand what if it was just like. Me holding a donut 🤣

[academicslytherpuff]

Ron Weasley 🧡

The movies did Ron so dirty. In the books he's a lovable character with complex issues, he's loyal but he feels somewhat insecure following up the legacy of his brothers. He's brave and stands up for Hermione and contributes to the Golden Trio as an equal member of their friendship.

In the movies, however, his entire character is basically "poor boi who eats a lot" and we see much less of what made him Harry's best friend.

Anyway, once again, the books are always better than the movies lol. Love my boy Ron.

[academicslytherpuff]

movie ginny: who are you 

book ginny: i’m you but stronger

[academicslytherpuff]

Female LGBT "allies" that need to cancel themselves

On m/m ships: BABIES. SO IN LOVE. PURE AND PRECIOUS. NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED. CUTEST OF CUTES. ACTUAL DEFINITION OF LOVE. DROWNING IN SEXUAL TENSION. I NEED A GAY BEST FRIEND LIKE YESTERDAY. EYE FUCKING YES. GAYS PROTECTION SQUAD 2K16. #LOVEWINS. CINNAMON ROLLS. DADDIES. SLAYED ME. LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE.

On f/f ships: Fan service. Happened too quick. No development. Toxic. Should have ended up with male lead. Forced. Terrible writing. White feminism. No sense. Other girl was married to male lead bec they hugged. Other girl didn’t deserve male lead anyway. Stepping stone relationship. Hope she begs for him back. Gay agenda. Ruined the show. This is racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, aneurysm, botulism, darwinism, etc. Heterophobia. Male lead is a victim to female lead. Disrespectful to original fans. No chemistry. #EndStraightbaiting2K16. Manipulated into the relationship. Abusive. Not real unlike the “slow burn” with male friend. Why does everything have to be gay?!?! There’s already LGBT rep on the show so stop complaining and asking for more perhaps. The m/m ship on the show is the better rep, you can see that clearly in the 4 scenes they’ve had in this entire show’s history.

You’re not being an ally. You just fetishize gay men.

If you’d rather be angry and insulted and immediately deny doing this by going straight to defending yourself then you obviously care more about yourself and how you’re viewed than the LGBT and being an actual ally. Stop attacking LGBT for giving their opinion and maybe listen…what a concept.

[academicslytherpuff]

“Tumblr just wants every character to be gay” Ok but consider that if the media presented the world with enough non-token (and still alive) LGBTQ representation in the first place maybe there wouldn’t be so much of an urge to take strong, well-written, lead characters with quotes that resonate and storylines that don’t end in their death and reimagine them as being LGBTQ. Consider that it’s not about real characters being made LGBTQ, but about LGBTQ being made real characters.

[academicslytherpuff]

Lmao I really love these two together. I know that they have a complicated history, but that just makes it all the more satisfying when I see a fanfic author make a really good believable love story for them! There's a lot of room for character development, and I just think that later in life it's totally possible they could end up together. Or good friends, at least.

At the same time, sometimes it's just fun to see a funny shitpost like this. I mean come on guys- this fandom is kinda great. I love seeing these dumb memes on my dash 😂 It doesn't always have to be that deep

Draco: I don’t know how to tell you this… but Harry James Potter, you’re in love with me

Harry: what-

Harry: … oh my god, I aM!

Ron: what kind of confession did I just WATCH?

[academicslytherpuff]

I agree, JKR is realllllyyyyy annoying these days. What’s up with the most recent revelation that Dumbledore and Grindlewald had an “intense” and “passionate” relationship??? Like? Thanks bitch, nobody asked. I want her to back off the series. She already had her fame and her moments in the spotlight. She should either work on new pieces of writing or just settle down somewhere with her enormous wealth she must be getting from allllll the harry potter movies, merch, parks, and books. Seriously, I just googled it and Forbes.com put her net worth at $650 mil... go buy a nice house and chill in a hammock dude. Stop fucking with every characters identity just to get some attention.

BTW, here’s the article I found:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/natalierobehmed/2017/08/03/j-k-rowlings-net-worth-650-million-in-2017/#7f2de42a1f30

There is one thing I’m sure of in my life and it’s that I’ll never stop loving Harry Potter but JKR can go suck a toe she’s annoying

[academicslytherpuff]

Cedric 💛

I feel like we don't get to see many important/main characters in Hufflepuff, so it's nice to get some badger rep. I mean, Cedric is such an underrated character! When Harry helps him he's a little suspicious at first but grateful, and then he's kind enough to return the favor even if it doesn't necessarily benefit him. Actually, he's just really nice to Harry in general, like Harry is the nerdy awkward kid in this situation, and he treats him like an equal and not the way most 17 year old boys would react to a lame-o 14 year old talking to him (I suppose there is the whole "he survived the curse!" phenomenon, but in the book i got the feeling that Cedric treated him like a normal kid and i think that's rather decent of him)

Anyway, I just think Cedric is a pure and wholesome character in general, and I wanted to say something nice about the series for once 💛💛

[academicslytherpuff]

Why did Harry name his child after Snape?

Ok I know that it seems like all I do is bash this series,,, but bear with me I promise I love it I just gotta complain about this one more thing...

First things first, Albus Severus Potter is right up there with Abcde for Worst Name Ever given to a child. Like? It doesn't flow at all? It sounds idiotic? It's just disheartening that at the end of the series JK Rowling was like "Fuck it I'm done trying let's just have Harry give his child the worst possible name ever"

Second, Snape may have been "on Dumbledore's side the whole time" but that's just because Voldemort happened to murder somebody he liked. Can you imagine what he would have done if old Voldy had left Lily alone? Snape wouldn't have given a shit about doing the right thing!

Third, even if you ignore that, he was still a terrible person! He literally bullied children, so much so that poor Neville's GREATEST FEAR was his potions teacher. You can't write that off just as being strict. He repeatedly mocked Hermione not only for being a muggle born but also for being an enthusiastic and engaged student, the very thing a teacher should be encouraging!

In short, Albus Severus Potter is a bad name and Snape is a bad person so why did Harry do that.

[academicslytherpuff]

Danger sign in a fandom: a large portion of fans take an abusive asshole who enjoyed bullying children and obsessed over a dead woman (that he called a racial slur) who rejected him, and make him out to be a hero, and a redeemable, morally grey character.

Bigger danger sign in a fandom: the actual author of the series, who wrote the character, takes an abusive asshole who enjoyed bullying children and obsessed over a dead woman (that he called a racial slur) who rejected him, and makes him out to be a hero, and a redeemable, morally grey character.

I’m not the first person to say it, and I’m not going to be the last, but yo, FUCK Snape

And JK Rowling too, I’m sick of her bs

[academicslytherpuff]

Hey ya'll I'm back on my bullshit because I just rEally hate this book.

Today's topic of discussion: the fuckin tRoLLeY WiTCH

What in the *fresh hell* is the deal with this character. For 7 books, the trolley witch barely crosses anybody's mind... and now she's some vicious creature? With spikes?! CAN THE AUTHORS CALM DOWN PLEASE

Not only does she 1) Supposedly have these powers to protect the children while aLmost killing them with her spikes n shit, she also 2) Definitely did not need to have this character development and 3) Turns the story from a little confusing to completely ridiculous, off the rails crack fic.

When I was reading it, this scene completely baffled me (in addition to setting ablaze a visceral rage within me that can never be truly placated) and just came off as like, unprofessional. The Cursed Child proved itself to me over the course of the whole hour and a half it took me to chug through that it just does not deserve a place among those hallowed halls of Harry Potter Canon.

TL;DR: The trolley witch is not Like That and this awful book will never convince me of that. The whole scene is just very bad and reeks of crack fic writing.

The Cursed Child is the WORST

Personally, there are a few really specific things I can point to that really stick out to me as OOC or just really confusing in general, but the thing that bugs me the most about The Cursed Child is the time travel.

In Prisoner of Azkaban, the time travel theory applied is like, “you can’t really change the past, when you go back you find out that you had already done those things in the first place” (sorry, not sure if there’s actually a name for this or not) for example, the rock hits Harry’s head before they travel back in time, then he finds out he was the one who threw it. He always threw the rock, going back didn’t *actually* make a difference. In the Cursed Child however… they throw the entire thing out the window?? Like? The way the time turner works is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! They travel back and forth multiple times, creating all these “alternate timelines” where their decisions directly altered the space time continuum. It’s more like a multiverse theory than anything else.

It just bothers me, because JK Rowling clearly set up how the time turners work and under what circumstances they operate under, and then 20 years later or whatever, she decides to stamp her approval on a badly written piece of fanfiction (a play, no less!) That violates everything she had established?!?!! It’s just! Ugh… so frustrating.

TL;DR: JK Rowling writes how the time turners work in Prisoner of Azkaban but then allows The Cursed Child to be labeled as canon, even though it’s totally different!

[academicslytherpuff]

idk what’s funnier to me, pizza delivery wizards, or three owls trying to carry a stack of pizzas into gryffindor tower at 3am

[academicslytherpuff]

I know a lot of people have already said this but like?? Dumbledore is not a good person???

Not only does he let the Dursleys raise him, after Harry comes to Hogwarts and we know he absolutely has no way of not knowing some shady shit was going on during his childhood he literally just lets Harry go back to his abusive family every summer like "Seeya bitch, hope you don't starve."

It's unbelievable!

Another thing I always hated was the hogsmeade thing. "Yeah, your adopted parents are the worst and we know that they hate everything to do with witches and wizards, but they HAVE to sign the form. Sorry!"

😡 you ain't sorry you're just lazy. Don't wanna have to keep an eye on another student

Dumbledore, dropping baby Harry off with the Dursley’s…

[academicslytherpuff]

Honestly? Yes you are Draco love that for you

Harry: On a scale of one to ten, you’re a nine, because I’m the one you need.

Draco: I’m a ten.

Harry: No, it’s a pickup lin-

Draco: I. Am. A. Ten.

[academicslytherpuff]

Things that are OK: gay girls n guys liking gay shit, straight girls liking it but not fetishizing it Things that are not OK: straight girls having their lives revolve around yaoi and guyxguy relationships, no matter how toxic or bad they may be, and making any non-straight people around them feel uncomfortable; basically fetishizing gay and bi guys while simultaneously being uncomfortable with lesbians

[academicslytherpuff]

The Cursed Child is the WORST

Personally, there are a few really specific things I can point to that really stick out to me as OOC or just really confusing in general, but the thing that bugs me the most about The Cursed Child is the time travel.

In Prisoner of Azkaban, the time travel theory applied is like, "you can't really change the past, when you go back you find out that you had already done those things in the first place" (sorry, not sure if there's actually a name for this or not) for example, the rock hits Harry's head before they travel back in time, then he finds out he was the one who threw it. He always threw the rock, going back didn't *actually* make a difference. In the Cursed Child however... they throw the entire thing out the window?? Like? The way the time turner works is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! They travel back and forth multiple times, creating all these "alternate timelines" where their decisions directly altered the space time continuum. It's more like a multiverse theory than anything else.

It just bothers me, because JK Rowling clearly set up how the time turners work and under what circumstances they operate under, and then 20 years later or whatever, she decides to stamp her approval on a badly written piece of fanfiction (a play, no less!) That violates everything she had established?!?!! It's just! Ugh... so frustrating.

TL;DR: JK Rowling writes how the time turners work in Prisoner of Azkaban but then allows The Cursed Child to be labeled as canon, even though it's totally different!