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aceecee · 8 days ago

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Miseria - Zayne

Synopsis: Six different timelines. In each one you find yourself taking over the life of an extra in the game you had been so smitten with. In each life you’re different, whether it’s a different job, or where you live and even your personality. But only one thing remains constant, you’re determined to avoid them. You’re not in the body of the MC so it’s not like they’ll even notice. Right?

You really shouldn’t have underestimated them.

Alternatively: Local handsome doctor man will keep you locked up!

MC | Caleb | Sylus | Xavier | Rafayel

TW/Tags: MDNI, yandere Zayne, obsession, possessive behaviour, adultery/infidelity (not by reader or Zayne), divorce (reader’s backstory), misogyny, reader used to be a housewife (which I don’t shit on just how they’re taken advantage of), heartbreak, rejection, unrequited love (x2 for Zayne), manipulation, stockholm syndrome (?), dub-con, power dynamics (he’s your superior), workplace relationships, friendship breakups, implied non-consensual pregnancy, birthcontrol tampering, implied forced marriage, stalking (not just by Zayne), break ins, attempted rape (but nothing happens and not by Zayne), trauma bond (idk if it’s the right word), sexual content ( m!masturbation, p in v, semi-public sex, office sex, creampie), probably incorrect medical info and incorrect understanding on how hospitals work since author just searched shit up, fake dating, police bashing, violence, dead dove do not eat

WC: 12.2K

Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is a yandere work. The character's personalities have become dramatised as a result. This is not what I think of them at all even as yanderes, it's just for pure indulgence. MC in the boys chapters is not the same one in her's, she's just generic but she will always be a friend. This is not a safe space for MC haters. If you don't like any of this then don't read.

Zayne is very out of character in this. I cannot emphasise this enough.

Three weeks.

It has been three weeks since you went to bed and woke up the next day inside a fucking game.

Not just any game, the one that had been your comfort when things would get too much. Maybe it was childish or pathetic to rely on fictional men, but then they shouldn’t have been written so beautifully. Their muscles also helped.

The surgeon had quickly wormed his way into your heart and your wallet. You had collected every single memory of his, all his outfits and were well on your way to reaching the highest infinity with him. But one regret stood in your way. When his second myth had been released, your finances weren’t the best so with great control, you didn’t pull. Instead you waited over a year for a re-run. You watched with joy as you got the first memory within twenty pulls. The guarantee resets. Sixty more left.

You worked hard to save up for sixty pulls. It was Sunday, the last day before the banner would end. There are two hours left. You have a fifty-fifty chance. With a gulp, you pull until ten pulls are left. This is it. Sweat runs down your face, you tap your phone. The screen goes gold. It’s too soon to cheer. You quickly tap through all the three stars until your screen blanks. With bated breath, you await for the animation.

It’s green.

You scream as Caleb pops up.

Now you have to wait another year.

With no other choice, you go to sleep and no you’re not crying when you do (you totally are).

Only to wake up in someone else’s bed. You stumble around in a panic, have all those mafia romance books come back to bite you in the ass? They were just a guilty pleasure! You do not want a tall man covered in tattoos named ‘Sergio’ calling you kitten or doll, you cringe just thinking about it.

But then you come across a photo on a desk. It’s of you and an old woman you’ve never met. Oddly enough she looks a lot like you…

That’s when they hit. Not in a gentle way like a mother’s touch caressing as you fall asleep but like you’ve been fucked in the ass by a chainsaw.

Too many memories for you to count. All of you in another life, in this life. The you in these memories laughs the way you do, she moves just like you, it’s clear you’re one and the same. The only difference you can see are the lives you’ve led and the way they’ve shaped you. She’s more…of a pushover and as you live through her memories, she’s been taken advantage of way too many times because of it.

Your original life wasn’t hard, you just had to be independent from a young age and advocating for yourself comes with that because no one else will. You’re too out of it now but later you notice the decay in her apartment, the lack of anything nice and the brutal ache in her chest that has you clawing at the skin desperate to rip your heart out so the suffering can end. All of it is a result of her inability to wish and seek better for herself.

Maybe if she had been a bit like you in that regard, then this wouldn’t be her ending. Thrown away by the one who claimed to love her and abandoned by everyone else.

Your first day is spent in a state of disarray.

The constant barrage of memories leave your head feeling like it’s about to explode. It’s exhausting for your body and mind, you’re oddly dehydrated after. All you can do is lay back down on the bed and sleep.

The second day is spent in a state of anger.

You’ve had time to process her life and you’ve come to one conclusion. Every single person in her (your?) life deserves the pear of anguish. That photo of you with the woman? Smashed into pieces. Not even your own mother was on your side. The ring still on her finger? Gently placed to the side because it’ll fetch a lot of money. You might be angry but you’re not a fool.

The rest of the weeks are spent trying to fix her mistakes.

Your other self was for a lack of better word, brilliant. You feel sick at what she’s been reduced to.

It’s a story you’ve seen countless times: a genius woman meets a man who’s insecure about her brilliance so he manipulates her until she no longer believes in herself and settles for a lifetime as a housewife. And look where that got her.

Discarded. Like. Fucking. Trash.

Her fucking pathetic excuse for a husband gaslit her into accepting the most diabolic pre-nup you’ve ever seen. She was left with nothing in the end, not even the clothes, jewellery or gifts he had bought for her. It’s surprising he still let her keep the ring.

It wasn’t even like her marriage had anything good about it, a cheating scumbag for a husband whose mother hated her. Mrs Choi never failed to remind your other self that you weren’t good enough, born from a poor family and no greater education (like her own son didn’t put a stop to it).

After you throw a pity party for yourself, you spend the week applying to as many jobs as you can. One gets back, a little cashier job in a small grocery mart. The pay isn’t much but it’ll cover your bills and you get a discount. It’ll do for now. It’s hard starting all over again but you’ll work hard to save and go back to school. You’ll do it for your other self, give her the ending she deserved.

But if you do ever come face to face with her, you’ll also give her a slap.

It’ll be a wake up call and also because it’ll be therapeutic for you, you can’t even enjoy the fact that you’re in your favourite game. You’ve been thrust into the deep end when you’ve only just put on the swimwear.

There are no words to describe the realisation that you’re not in the body of the MC but a random background character, one who doesn’t even live in Linkon. It’s like whoever brought you here is telling you not to get your hopes up.

So, you don’t. You accept this is your life now. Maybe you’ll visit Linkon in the future and watch them from the sidelines or maybe you won’t.

That’s how three weeks go by.

In the fourth week, you’re interrupted by your plans to sleep and sleep by your doorbell ringing. A familiar grouchy face filled with wrinkles stares back at you.

“Well?” she demands. “Are you going to invite me in or stand there gawking?”

When you don’t respond, Mrs Choi makes her own way in. She stops and examines your place, her vintage and designer clothing contrasting heavily with the cheap furniture.

“Tch.”

Tch?

TCH???

This fucking b-

“It’s your son’s fault I’m living like this. Go judge him,” you snap. Her eyes widen a little before a smirk settles onto her face. “Finally grew claws?” She doesn’t wait for an answer and makes herself at home on your couch.

“And that’s exactly what I was doing. I was judging him,” she rests her hands on the handle of her cane. “Do sit down, we have a lot to discuss.”

Interested in the direction this conversation was going, you do as she says. Though, a part of you is pissed she’s commanding you in your own home, however disgusting it may be.

“What could we possibly have to discuss?”

“For starters, I’ve never approved of you marrying my son.”

You let out a cold laugh, she doesn’t even blink. “No shit.”

“Because you deserved better.”

Your jaw hangs open.

“I saw it from the start, when he began courting you. You were brilliant and meant for more and he knew. He couldn’t stand it because he’s just like his father,” she looks to the side, shaking her head. “That boy…I tried so hard to teach him better but I failed. I begged him to end the relationship, begged him to leave you alone but he didn’t listen. Then when you got married all I could do was treat you horribly in the childish hopes you would leave on your own,” she looks straight into your eyes, a forlorn expression on her face. “But he had dug too deep into you and you were willing to deal with it. For him. You reminded me so much of myself, I suppose that’s why I was trying so hard to help. Well…in my own way.”

Sitting there on your stained couch, Mrs Choi who had once felt so big when in front of you, was suddenly so small. “It was already too late for me when I began to recognise the cage I built for myself but I’m glad it’s not for you,” that’s when she gives you a smile. The only genuine one you’ve ever seen. How did you not see it before? The anguish in her eyes, the metaphoric stone wall she covered herself in for protection.

This could’ve been your future.

But thank fuck it’s not.

She must’ve seen the relief in your eyes because a small smile makes its way on her face. “But that’s also not the reason I’m here,” she reaches into her purse, pulling out a white envelope. “Here. It’s not even close to the amount you deserve for all the years you put up with my son, for all of your labour he exploited but it should be enough for a new life.”

You open the seal, delicately since you’re not sure what’s in it. Your eyes widen at the amount listed on the account. “The account is in your name and only you have access to it.”

“B-but why…?” You stare at her.

“If I can help just one woman from a fate like mine then I’ll be content.”

“...”

“But there’s one condition.”

You bring the paper in front of you down, replacing it with her face which is looking at you.

“Go back to medical school, [Name]. One far from here. There’s a prestigious one in Linkon city where I have a friend on the board. He’s willing to offer a scholarship, especially after I showed him your unfinished thesis.”

“How did you even find that?”

“I have my ways. Of course, you’ll have to finish that thesis during your time. I suggest packing up and leaving as soon as you can.”

And you do.

The first thing was calling the number she had left, a Mr Xenly answered. He had been eager to talk, asking questions about your thesis and expressed disappointment about it not being finished. You talk over video, he’s bright and cheerful which makes your nerves calm down. Your placement for next year is confirmed and for the rest of the week, the elation you feel never comes down.

Packing up everything you owned was easy. Too easy. It hurt a little to see firsthand how little you own, how little you were left with. It infuriates you how easy it's become to brush off the hurt, the pain, the sting from betrayal. But this is a fresh start, it’s time to leave it all behind.

Mr Xenly is kind enough to find a small and cheap apartment off campus for you, the pictures you received don’t do it justice. It’s small, practically a studio but compared to what you had before, it’s paradise. You have too much money on your hands now, so you reward yourself by sprucing up the place. Comfy blanket throws, cute cushion covers, aesthetic decorations are all over the apartment by the end of the week.

It’s yours and it’s perfect.

Medical school is hard. Which everyone knows but you were still not prepared for how difficult it can be. You have your other self’s intelligence to back you up but you still struggle. Part of you is happy to be challenged so much.

Currently you’re sitting in the lecture hall, listening to your professor drone on. It’s taking everything to not let the boredom win, keeping your eyes open as long as you can. A nudge to your shoulder wakes you up again. You turn to the assailant, it’s Leo. He smirks at your annoyed expression and mouths “focus” at you. With a glare you do as he says.

You met this menace on your first day here, you stuck out amongst the students since you were older and that’s how you got his attention. Unfortunately, he’s never left you alone since then and you have no idea how you’ve made it three years dealing with him.

The lecture thankfully ends ten minutes later but not before the professor reminds you of the special guest lecturer coming in next week. You roll your eyes at the reminder, they’ve been talking about it for weeks, it would be hard not to come across it.

Next week arrives faster than you would’ve thought. It’s on a random Tuesday when your world once again tilts on its axis. You had no idea back then, the chain of events that would happen after.

Leo as usual is waiting for you, quick to throw his arm around your shoulders and usher you in. There’s an exciting buzz in the air, the students are looking forward to something. Or someone.

That’s when you see him, standing tall in pants and a warm shirt. His hair rivals even the darkest obsidian and his eyes…

They are so striking that even you halt a little in the doorway and Leo, completely unaware, ends up pushing you to a seat.

The other students swoon over him and you can’t blame them. While the class settles down and he sets up to prepare, you take the time to watch him again.

You wait for the butterflies but you feel…nothing. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man but your heart doesn’t race, you don’t sweat and you don’t even feel nervous when his gaze meets yours in the crowd.

Did his eyes linger or are you just being delusional?

He starts the lecture, not looking at you again.

Yup, delusional.

You don’t have time to be disappointed in your lack of feelings as you get swept up in his lecture. He’s a genius, the way he weaves his words and presents them have you hanging off the edge of your seat. His findings are revolutionary. This is the man you want to work under, the one you want as a mentor. He’s the only one capable of sending you to great heights.

If only you realised the opposite of that can also be true.

It’s the most you’ve ever seen your class participate, they’re silent as they listen to every word and so many hands are up in the air, each with their own questions. Just like that, three hours pass.

After the lecture is over, you find yourself in a café on campus. Leo is gone to his job so you have plenty of time before you meet again. There's a restaurant that just opened. He wants to take you and you’re always open to trying new food. The cappuccino is a small comfort in your hands, a little defence against the harsh cold.

“Hello.”

The coffee goes all over the table and your clothes as you shriek from the sudden presence and familiar voice. Your hands work fast to use napkins to clean the mess up. Another pair of hands join you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you hadn’t noticed me,” his melodic voice rings out. “It’s fine, Dr Li. I should’ve been more alert.”

He joins you at the table, all of the coffee has been cleaned up and your clothes can’t be helped. “Please, call me Zayne. I’m not working right now.”

“Okay, Zayne,” you nod.

“Mr Xenly shared your thesis with me. It’s not often he’s so impressed. I was curious to meet the person who had such astonishing results,” he looks you deep in the eyes as he says. The praise out of his mouth on your first meeting leaves you flustered. You might not feel anything for the man but he’s still the man you had once been so smitten with, he still carries with him all his little quirks that you were so taken with. “Your theories on solutions to combat antibiotic resistance leave much to be desired. Like many have already told you, I look forward to when you finish it.”

“Thank you Dr-I mean Zayne. It means a lot coming from you.”

He offers you a gentle smile and takes his leave but not before adding one last thing. “Akso Hospital would be lucky to have you, if you’re considering it for your residency.”

To be honest, you weren’t considering it. You didn’t want to experience his love story with her, you had no desire to see it play out right in front of you but things have changed now. You feel nothing for him, it doesn’t even sting to think of them together so why should you give up the option of working alongside one of the best surgeons designed for this world?

You nod. “I’ll consider it.”

And you don’t see him again after that. Not as you graduate, not as you finish your thesis and not even on your first day at Akso.

Leo follows you to Akso, his interest has always been in paediatrics but you still haven’t made up your mind which makes you glad that you’re expected to rotate around the departments and assist in every single area.

Your first two years will be spent in this rotation, the first as an intern and the second as a resident. When they are over you’ll be able to choose your specialised area. Akso is known for its cardiology and general surgery department, maybe you’ll wind up in one of those.

You meet him again in the second week. His eyes don’t widen as he sees you, there’s no quirk in his eyebrows, he’s just normal as he greets you. Which you’re thankful for and a little embarrassed you had expected a reaction in the first place.

What he does is rightfully yell at you on the first patient you assist him with. A little girl in for a heart transplant, who you were left to watch over after the surgery was done along with four other patients. Between the constant back and forth, you failed to notice a drop in her vitals which led to her being rushed to the emergency room and she survived by the skin of her teeth. You took his words in stride, you had failed and you deserved to hear each one.

Later, Leo finds you tucked into some corner of the hospital. You’re too busy crying to notice him until he throws an arm and pulls you into his side. “You’ve become famous already,” he jokes, which only makes you cry harder. Seeing his joke didn’t land the way he wanted, the boy panics, “I was just kidding, no one else knows [Name]! I only found out from the friendly nurse who thought I could comfort you.” You can’t help laughing at his panicked face, he looks just like a squirrel. He lightly hits you on the shoulder. “Were Dr Li’s words that harsh? I think this is the first time I’ve seen you cry.”

You shake your head. “He was right to yell at me. I’m crying because she’s still alive, because I didn’t kill her,” you bring your head down to your knees. “I know it’s going to happen sooner or later but I’d really like it to be later.”

Leo says nothing else, just letting you cry into his arms.

Neither of you notice the pair of feet around the corner nor as their footsteps walk away.

“Here,” Leo hands you something. It’s banana milk.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m lactose intolerant.”

You cackle at his dumbfounded expression.

“Wh-a how have I never known this? We’ve been friends for years, [Name]! This is the sort of thing you tell your friends! And I’ve seen you eat dairy before.”

“Yeah cause I had time to constantly go to the toilet before but I can’t do it now, can I?”

With a sulk, he finishes the milk.

The next day, Zayne pulls you aside. “I hope you’re not upset about yesterday,” he calmly asks. It’s not an apology and you don’t deserve one. “I’m alright, Doctor. Please don’t go easy on me.”

His lips quirk. “I’d never.”

Two years don’t go by as quickly as you would’ve liked. You spend each day and many nights at the hospital, doing the grunt work and getting yelled at. A lot. You’ve also lost patients in that time. The first one had been the hardest but you had Leo for comfort. The two of you had become each other’s rock, exchanging stories and information about how to get on the good side of your seniors. You’re just glad he was by your side.

At the end of the two years, you decide to go into cardiology and he sticks by paediatrics. Which meant he wouldn’t be staying at Akso, finding a better program elsewhere.

You’ve always hated airports and they’re no better inside the game. The long wait lines, the amount of people, the sounds of crying children, it’s all so overstimulating. But you pull through and deal with it, for Leo.

“Aww, don’t cry [Name],” the brown-haired man teases you. He wraps his arm around you, securing you both in a tight hug. “I knew you’d miss me.”

“I’m not crying,” you say as you cry. The boy before you gives a small smile, he looks all over your face and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so nervous. His hand comes up gently to brush away some tears.

“I’ve liked you this entire time, you know?” he whispers. You nod. You did know.

“I don’t expect an answer but I’ll wait for you, [Name],” he leaves but not before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

The first few months without him were hard, you knew how much you relied on him but you didn’t think it would be this bad. The two of you still talk but it’s at completely odd hours and only lasts for a couple of minutes each time. It’s not enough but you have no choice but to make it enough. You don’t have the right to ask him to come back, to be by your side when you’re not sure you can reciprocate his feelings. Even if by some miracle you do, there will always be that tiny voice in the back of your head telling you to check his phone or that he’s out with another woman and you’ll never be able to fully trust him, not when that voice had once been right.

Greyson waits for you as you clock in for your shift. He too has the deep under bags you sport. He hands you a cup of coffee. “Morning. It has oat milk, don't worry.” You take a sip, savouring the warmth of the liquid. “My saviour,” you grin at him. He shyly smiles back. “Us assistants should stick together, right?” You nod.

Greyson had already been at the hospital a year before you started but you had also been chosen to work as Zayne’s assistant. The man was easy to get along with but anytime you tried to work out the mystery of his age, he would find a way to brush you off but you’re not giving up anytime soon.

As you walk by the receptionist's desk, Yvonne waves you over. The kind nurse had quickly become a friend, especially when you discovered she was the one who sent Leo after you years ago. You stop when you recognise the figure by the desk. Tall with a slender figure, long brown hair with a fringe, fair skin and warm brown eyes, donned in that familiar hunter outfit.

It’s her.

She looks over you with a cheerful yet nervous smile and you give her a warm one back. You didn’t realise that the main story was already underway, you wonder when the two even met. “She’s just here for a check-up,” Yvonne passes you a tablet, her digital chart. You skim through it. “Dr Li is busy with an appointment, he gave permission for you to handle it.” “Okay, thanks Yvonne.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Dr [L. Name],” you reach a hand out and she eagerly returns your handshake. She introduces herself, her voice exactly like you had customised it. You gesture for her to follow you to a spare examination room. “Just take a seat on the bed,” you say and put on gloves.

“How have you been feeling lately? Any dizziness or nausea?”

She shakes her head.

“I see on your chart and by your clothes that you’re a hunter, has your disease ever gotten in the way?” you ask.

“No.”

She’s lucky. Protocore syndrome is no joke. All you knew from the game was that there was no cure and reading any articles or medical journals on it had produced no further knowledge. It’s a mystery to the people in game as it was to everyone else but if the main character can work as a hunter, backflipping as she fights, then for now she should be okay.

You really hope she gets her happy ending, with one of them or with all of them, hell even by herself because she’s sitting before you now and she looks so young. You think of her several lifetimes, dying or seeing the one she loves die and you feel so much for her.

For a game meant to be a dating sim, they could at least let their main character have a break.

The rest of the check-up goes well, there are no weird results but it doesn’t quell the worry in your heart. You wonder if this is how Zayne feels every time he sees her, does he feel relieved when she’s standing before him?

You can’t help the bitterness in you, she’ll never have to worry about their loyalty, their good, their love, not like you had. They’re designed for her, each of them an anomaly among other men even in their own world. You’ll never have that security. It’s why you don’t think you’ll ever love again. Why you feel like you’re not capable of it anymore.

After the check-up is over, a ping goes off from her phone, when she checks it you notice the familiar charm of a logo dangling from it. “Ah, is that Scattered Adolescents?” you ask innocently. You nearly jumped out of the chair at the speed in which she clasped her hands around yours. Her eyes are wide with joy as they bore right into yours. “I’ve never met anyone else that liked them.”

You laugh. “Are you kidding me? I adore them.”

The two of you blink at the other. “Did we…” she trails off.

“...just become friends? Yeah, I think we did,” you finish with a giggle.

When Zayne finally makes his way to the receptionist’s desk from his meeting, he’s greeted by the sight of you and her giggling. You wave her off as she walks away, a bright smile on your face that he hasn’t seen for months. Not since he left.

“I wasn’t expecting them to become friends so quickly, they seem so different at first glance,” Yvonne comments. He looks at her to show he’s listening but doesn’t respond. “But I’m glad [Name] seems happy, she’s been so down lately. We used to have a bet to see how long until her and Leo would get together but I guess that’s just not happening.” “I see,” he finally says, neither of them notice how his grip on the documents tighten just a little.

Noticing him, you walk up to the two with a smile. It’s not the same carefree one from before, this one is a polite one, like one a person has for a work colleague. A colleague who means nothing more.

“Good morning, Dr Li,” you greet him. He nods at you. Yvonne catches your attention. “Say [Name], are you ever gonna date? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you look at a person in interest.” Zayne doesn’t let it show but he’s just as curious for your answer. You let out an awkward chuckle but figure it’s best to squash questions like these now before they get worse.

“Love just isn’t as spectacular as people make it out to be.”

It’s a couple of weeks later when you see her again. This time she’s lying on a gurney being wheeled in, knocked out during a wanderer attack. Aside from suffering from a brutal concussion, some bruised ribs and claw mark imprints, the biggest issue is the large rod impaling her abdomen.

Greyson is the one selected to watch over during the surgery, as much as Zayne tries to hide it, you notice how he’d rather be the one present for it all but there are more at risk patients that need him.

It’s hours later that you receive the news that she’s okay, Zayne doesn’t even flinch and just nods but you see the slight tremble in his hands, just before he hides them in his pockets. “Shall we go check-up on her?” you ask him. “I-I know it might not be appropriate but I think seeing her might ease my mind.”

“We can.”

And even though you had pretended to be concerned to give him an out, the sight of her on the bed fills you with a sense of relief you didn’t think would happen. It’s her charm, managing to sneak her way into the very short list of people you cared for, when you had only met twice.

Zayne tries his best to keep it in but his eyes flutter as he tries to keep the tears at bay, you look around noting all the nurses and other staff at work. It would raise questions for him to be so involved with a patient, especially one meant for long-term, so you gently grip his white coat and lead him out the room. “Follow me.” You don’t know why he follows without a fuss but you lead through some corners and bends until you reach a storage room.

“No one really uses this, it’s a forgotten room. Knock on the door when you’d like to leave,” you inform him, closing the door and standing guard outside. It’s not that you particularly care but seeing him try so hard not to cry would tug on anyone’s heartstrings. A few minutes pass and you’re utterly grateful your pager doesn’t go off or that no one comes over to ask what you’re doing. You hear it then, a soft knock on the door.

He opens it himself, from the inside. Standing before you is the Zayne everyone sees at work, there’s no evidence of the dishevelled man you saw not even ten minutes ago. Neither of you say a word, you simply turn around and start walking, another pair of footsteps join you.

“Thank you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you give him a sly grin.

A scenario like that doesn’t occur in the months that pass after, she comes and goes, now having healed and back on her feet. You make sure to chastise her but you still present her with the plushie of her favourite member of the boyband as a thanks for putting her life on the risk. You will never admit how soft you felt at the bone crushing hug she gave you after. No, you’d sooner die.

It’s just…you can’t remember the last time you had been shown affection in such a way.

Lately, you can’t go two minutes without staff murmuring about the annual gala the hospital holds, the one night a year you can dress in extravagant clothing and mingle with rich people. The night is important for gathering donations for the hospital, so only a few people receive invites. As a mere intern, you along with others were not chosen but this year is different.

Despite your normal aversion to events like these, it feels like you’ve been spending every waking moment in this hospital, so a change of pace is welcome. Even if it’s just in another part of said hospital.

The red dress you buy comes with a price that no resident could pay but the hefty amount sitting prettily in your account helps. It’s a nice flowy dress with only the bodice being tight fitting, there’s a slit but what really got your attention was the choker in similar colour that it came with. It has a red flower with two ribbons that decorate your neck nicely. You can’t remember the last time you had ever dressed up like this. Your doctor’s coat nearly became a second skin.

The event is boring, the music is tasteless and the food even more so. You’re practically counting the seconds go by. None of the people present are remotely interesting so you can’t be blamed for slipping out.

The night sky is beautiful. It’s always been one of your favourite things. The swirls of purple in the black sky with hints of blue, the twinkling stars each different and all extraordinary and the moon. You could look at the moon for hours without looking away. You don’t know why but it’s always been your thing, just looking at it for small yet priceless moments of peace.

But peace never sticks with you for long.

“[Name]?”

Even after so many years, your body and mind remember the voice. They remember the promises of love it had spoken once, they remember the hurt it had hurled towards you. How little and alone it had made you feel. How it had lied so easily. You can’t help the tremble in your body as you slowly turn in its direction. You’re so ashamed of yourself for letting it affect you like this. After all your hard work all it took was one word to collapse everything you’ve built.

“It is you,” he breaths, looking mystified. He doesn’t get to look at you that way. His eyes move around your body taking you in with a look that disgusts you. He doesn’t get to look at you that way.

“What do you want?” It takes everything you have to keep a solid tone, empathetic of any emotion. Your face follows the same way, he doesn’t deserve anything from you. Especially your emotions.

“I just wanted to say hi.” He’s acting like you’re the one insane for being so vicious, like you have no reason to be. Your hand curls at your side. He’d sure look pretty with a large bruise on that face. That’s when your eyes drift to the woman by his side, she’s got her hand tightly clutched in his like you’re going to try and steal him. Her hand goes down to rub her stomach, by the size of it she should be about three months pregnant. She doesn’t meet your eyes, at least she has the decency to look ashamed.

He takes a step towards you. “You look…” he trails off.

“Better than I ever did by your side? Yeah, I do. It’s amazing what not having a cheating scumbag husband in your life can do for your complexion,” you bite. “You’ve said hi, now leave.”

“It’s been years and you still haven’t gotten over it?”

Red, hot white anger flashes through you but before you can open your mouth to fire back, you’re taken off guard by the feel of a warm coat over your shoulders. “There you are, honey. I’ve been looking all over for you,” a warm voice speaks through the silence.

Unlike the voice before, Zayne’s voice calms you down. It’s like a soothing and warm blanket in a room filled with bitter cold. Your hand reaches up the coat, tugging it over you properly. His hand sneaks its way around your waist, pulling you closer. His other hand makes its way to yours, covering it with a gentle squeeze, you didn’t realise it was still shaking.

“Should we head home?” he asks you. His eyes don’t leave yours, they don’t even glance the other way. “Please,” you whisper. He immediately turns you around so you don’t see them and you both start walking away. You don’t hear what Ha-yoon responds with and for that you’re glad.

Zayne leads you to his car. “I’ll drive you home.” The car ride is silent, you’re so plagued by your thoughts you don’t realise to ask how he knew where you live.

Ever the gentleman, he walks you to the entrance of your apartment building. “Will you be okay?” he gently asks. For a few seconds you just look at him. “Are you hungry, Dr Li?”

Your question is unexpected. You let out a small laugh at his face. It’s nice to laugh after all that. “Because I am. The food at the gala was horrible but I know a place not far from here that’s still open.”

He understands your unspoken question. “Let’s go then.”

The two of you receive many looks as you’re seated. You don’t blame them, you both stand out in your current attire.

The small restaurant has become a comfort place for you, it specializes in the local cuisine of your country, a reminder of what once had been home.

“I always find myself here when things get hard. When I had to take my first medical exams, after my first day at the hospital,” you explain as you both put away the plastic menus after ordering. “And now after your ex-husband appeared,” he finishes for you. You nod. “Yup.”

“You helped me out that day so I thought to return the favour,” he continued. “You don’t have to tell me anymore but I’m here if you do.”

You bring your hands to your lap, clutching them tightly against each other. “I…I think I need to just tell someone.”

He leans back in the chair, making himself comfortable. He gives you that slight smile, warmth flooding his eyes.

“We met when we were fifteen. He was everything I never was. Rich, popular and he had a sinful way with words. He could charm anyone and he did it to me. I was too young and foolish to realise his true intentions and face. That underneath it all he was just an insecure boy that couldn’t stand anyone better than him. He worked hard to chip away all the good things I had. We got married straight after we graduated. I completed my bachelor and confided my dream to go to medical school,” you start. Zayne doesn’t say a word, only watching.

“That’s when he started chaining me down. It was small things at first, ‘How can you be a doctor if you can’t even do this?’. But it was enough to stick with me and suddenly I’m a housewife who once had a dream.”

Your food arrives, you thank the waitress but neither of you make a move to eat. He’s still watching and you’re not finished.

“She was his childhood friend, who moved away when they were young. She comes back and suddenly he’s spending any free time with her. She became his first priority and I was a third wheel in my own marriage. He made me feel like I was crazy for even thinking something was wrong. Then I walk in on the two of them,” you can’t help the shakiness of your voice, your eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“I didn’t even realise that the pre-nup had a clause about cheating but only for me. He claimed that I was the one who had an affair with his bodyguard. My own mother stood under oath and lied that it was true, later I found that she was paid a lot of money.”

“He’s a dick.”

You let out the ugliest cackle at the way Zayne said those words. He says them through a straight face, voice monotone but his expression breaks at your laughter, chuckling along with you.

Things change after that. The biggest one you notice is how much he watches you, even when you catch him he’s not in a particular hurry to look away.

“Hey,” Yvonne pulls you aside one day. “There’s a Ha-yoon Choi here for a check-up. Says he’ll only do it if you’re the doctor.” She notices the slight way your eyes widen. “But I can tell him you’re busy and have no time, don’t worry. Should I involve security?”

“No. I’ll do it,” Zayne snatches the tablet from her hand before you can tell no. You didn’t even notice him walk up to you two.

You don’t even have the time to ask what happened as your responsibilities call you away. A hand roughly tightens its grip around your wrist just seconds before you get in your car. “Are you really dating that guy?”

You flick him off. “Yeah I am, what’s it to you?” He scoffs. “Seriously [Name]? He’s your superior, what were you thinking?”

“Are you kidding me,” you try to shove him. “Are you seriously trying to lecture me on appropriate relationships?”

Your voice picks up, gathering the attention of those littering in the car park. Your colleagues stop and watch the altercation. You can’t let him destroy your reputation so you try to get into your car and drive off but Ha-yoon’s never had you disobey him before.

“Have you not even considered the consequences of dating Dr Li,” he yells. You glance around, everyone else has heard him.

“Not here, Ha-yoon. Leave me alone,” you growl out before getting in the car and leaving.

But the damage is done.

Whispers and side eyes follow you everywhere you go. You’ve gone from a reputable doctor to a whore who seduced her superior for better surgeries and for special treatment. There’s no point in even denying the rumours, it doesn’t even matter that none of it is true. None of them blame Zayne, it’s all on you.

It’s been another two months since your altercation with your ex, and the whispers have yet to die down. You can’t even look at Zayne’s direction without hearing something about it.

You’re lying down in your bed, a little sanctuary you’ve made recently, with your phone in your hands. You stare at Leo’s contact, debating whether to bother him with your problems. He’s been silent for months, at first you chalked it up to a doctor’s hectic schedule but his socials show him enjoying time with new friends. You don’t want to call him since there’s a chance he’s working so you settle for a message.

[Name]:

Hey, can we talk?

Leo:

Not now. I’m with my girlfriend.

[Name]:

Girlfriend? When did that happen?

Leo:

When you started dating Dr Li.

[Name]:

I see. Have fun.

The phone drops down next to you. For all his hefty claims of love and how he would wait, he couldn’t even think to hear it from your mouth first. From all the years he had known you, did it seriously never occur for him to realise how out of character it is for you to date your superior?

Or maybe he never really saw you, only the parts he wanted to notice. This is why you’re never falling in love, they’re all the same.

You cry yourself to sleep that night.

Ha-yoon hasn’t left you alone since the altercation, you have no idea how he managed to get your number but blocking him does nothing, he just messages from a new phone. You’re not even safe in your own home. Every night when you come home, there’s a package waiting for you. The items range from designer clothing to expensive jewellery, all of which you sell.

The police practically escort you off their premises when you try to lodge a complaint, they see you as someone delusional because why would a man belonging to a prominent family stalk you?

Even in the game they’re incompetent.

In an odd turn of events, the only one you can turn to for comfort has been Zayne himself. Like you said, things have been different between you two. You’re softer around him, he’s become something akin to a friend. He had apologised for the vitriol you’ve been receiving, blaming himself since but you had told him not to. It was neither of your faults.

You confided in him about Ha-yoon’s new stalkerish methods and the failure of the police, in turn he helped you install cameras in your home and told you to always record any conversations with him. “It would be extremely helpful for your case if you managed to get him to admit to it,” he had told you.

“Stalkers tend to escalate, especially when they’re not being received well. He already knows where you live, it won’t be long until he makes his way inside. I suggest leaving your home pin with someone you trust,” his ears had gone red when you informed him that person was him. You feel a little better knowing he’s looking out for you.

“Check your windows are locked,” Zayne’s soft voice commands through the phone.

You do as he says. It’s become a routine between you two, you call him before you go to sleep and he answers. Then, he goes through a checklist you came up with before you say goodnight. It’s the only way you can sleep these days. The only way you feel safe. And you have Zayne to thank for that.

“That’s everything, good-” your words are cut off by a sudden pounding on your front door.

“What’s that?” Zayne asks, concern laced in his voice.

“Someone’s at my door,” you respond.

“[Name], I know you’re in there!”

“Find a hiding spot, I’m calling the police,” you don’t register Zayne’s voice. You remain frozen. As a doctor one of the most important things is to never freeze yet here you are. Your breath picks up as fear runs rampant inside you, your skin covered in goosebumps whether from the cold or the uncertainty of your future, you have no idea.

Your mind screams dozens of sentences at you but all you can do is gasp for the air you’ve suddenly forgotten how to breathe. God, I’m so pathetic.

“[Name], listen to me. You need to hide, find a weapon and a safe spot,” Zayne’s voice finally makes it way through the buzzing accumulating in your ears. “I’m on my way, stay calm.”

All previous sentiments of finding your little apartment small and cozy are gone as you curse yourself for the lack of good hiding spots. All you have is under the bed or the closet. It feels like you’re going to puke your heart up as you find the biggest knife you have and hide in the closet.

Under the bed is the first place he would look, giving you time to sneak up behind him and catch him off guard.

“I’m coming in,” those three dreaded words are followed by the beeping as he inputs your code. There’s no time to wonder how he even knew it in the first place, your body quickly manoeuvring itself in your wardrobe, hiding yourself under the clothes.

“I’m going to stay quiet now,” in your frenzy you’d forgotten you were still on the phone. “Hurry,” you whimper. He doesn’t respond but something tells you he heard.

The air feels thick as you hear the creak of your front door open. For a second you wonder if he can hear the thundering of your heart in the chilling silence. Your ears pick up every footstep, the creak of the floorboards with it, tears run down your face and you force your hand tight against your mouth to block off any whimpers. You don’t even breathe.

It’s when the footsteps go silent that you worry but you don’t get to linger on that worry for long as the closet door is yanked open. A hand wraps itself around your wrist with such a strong grip it feels like your shoulder might dislocate. Another hand grabs the knife and tosses it across the room before you can even react. Your body is thrown on the floor so roughly that your head bangs hard against the floor.

You’re not sure how long you’re out but judging by the current situation, it wasn’t more than a few seconds. But the view around you is blurry and tilting as you can’t concentrate, you can barely hear the words out of his mouth. Ha-yoon hovers above you with a crazed expression, he brings his face closer to you, an action that only has you sob.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he coos, caressing your face. You try to move your head away but the throbbing in the back of your head has you disorientated. “This is why you should’ve just listened to me, [Name],” he chastises. “We could’ve avoided all this,” he brings his hands down to your pyjama shirt, lingering around the buttons.

“I have to remind you who you belong to,” he pops one. “Doesn’t matter if we’re still together or not, you don’t get to move on,” another one opens. You don’t even realise your sobs getting louder until he presses his hand against your mouth. “Shut up and just take it,” he slams your head down again.

Maybe that’s what snaps you out of it, maybe it’s the anger his audacity brings or maybe your brain registers that you’re not going to be conscious for long but with newfound strength you bring your legs up and kick right at his chest with a sudden rush of adrenaline. Even in that state, you aim right for where his heart is.

The last thing your eyes see before they close is the bastard hunched over the floor, clutching desperately at his chest and gasping for air. It’s a beautiful sight. One that you painted.

You awake to the sound of similar beeping of hospital machines. You don’t register anything, only the memories of what happened before you passed out, your body moves itself up in a panic to get away. The sudden move only has you clutch your head in pain as it throbs, your eyes sting with tears. A warm hand rests on your shoulder, guiding you back on the bed.

Yvonne tries to smile at you but her eyes brim with tears. “Don’t move, you’re just going to agitate it even more. I’ll get you some painkillers later, okay?”

You try to nod but even that brings pain. “You’re safe, he’s not here,” she holds your hands in hers. “I’ll get the doctor on schedule,” she tries to leave but you stop her. “What happened,” your voice comes out croaky, Yvonne moves to hand you a glass of water.

She tells you everything. It’s not the first time you’ve woken up, you had been conscious when help had arrived at the scene, but you were so out of it, you still don’t remember. It’s a good thing, if you had been out for longer than a few minutes it would’ve indicated severe head trauma. You don’t even want to imagine what that could’ve entailed.

You were given a sedative by the paramedics since you had been in too much pain hence why you’re waking up now, only a few hours later. They placed you in a private room, all paid for by the hospital. A CT scan had been done while you were out, showing no major concerns but you’ll be monitored for a while just in case. You don’t need to feel it but the affected area on your head has massive bruising and swelling which is why it hurts so much.

You want to tell her that this wasn’t what you wanted to know, that you needed answers about what happened with Ha-yoon but the room keeps spinning and it hurts to keep your eyes open. “Sleep, I’ll be here,” Yvonne gently says as you doze off.

The next time you wake up, Zayne is in the room with you. He’s sitting on the chair by your side, dressed in normal attire and reading a book. His attention is instantly on you when you groan, he’s by your side faster than you can realise. The soft behaviour usually distributed to his patients is now presented to you. He asks a bunch of questions while looking over your vitals. He masks it well but you can see his concern shining through. It’s oddly comforting.

You open your mouth to ask but he cuts you off. “I know you’re curious but you’re in no state to process anything. I’ll answer everything when you’re doing better, okay?” You just nod, you can tell by his tone that there’s no convincing him.

She visits you too, plopping a plushie on your favourite member from the group. “Thought I’d return the favour,” she gave you a strained smile and her hold on your hand lingered for a long time before her duties called her away. She leaves her warmth behind.

Everyday, the staff fight off the police officers that drop by, all of them advocating that you’re not okay to answer their questions, something you’re grateful for. You’re in no shape to be scrutinized and judged.

Zayne concludes that you’re ready for the whole story one afternoon when you finally walk in a straight line before him. He does more tests to be safe, seeing how well your arms and legs hold up against his grip and whether it’s still difficult to move your head around. You get through it all with no issue.

“I got there seconds after you passed out, he was on the floor beside you so I froze his hands together,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal. “He deserved it,” Zayne countered. “It’s not him I’m worried about, what if it landed you in trouble?”

Your question has his posture relaxed a little. “You should be more worried about yourself,” he flicks you on the head, smiling when you glare in offence. “The police were right behind me, he tried to claim I just attacked out of nowhere but we had all the evidence from the cameras in your apartment. It showed everything, him breaking in and assaulting you. I gave them a witness testimony since I was on the phone with you.”

Your lips tremble as you try not to imagine what would've happened had Zayne never been on the phone with you. How can you even begin to pay him back?

Before you can thank him, your heads snap towards the door sliding open. Yvonne steps through, flashing you a guilty look. “I tried to stop them but they’re no longer taking no for an answer. Said they’ll drop the case without your testimony,” she whispers something else, you can’t be sure but you think she was cursing them out.

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to them,” you respond before turning to Zayne. “Can you stay?”

“Of course.”

To your terrible luck, one of the police officers is the same one that hadn’t taken your complaint seriously. You can’t hide the displeasure or anger, you’re lucky to be still here, had they done their job none of this would’ve happened.

The police fill in the gaps that Zayne didn’t get to, Ha-yoon’s facing charges of assault and attempted rape. With your phone call with Zayne, his testimony to the whole thing, the video evidence and Ha-yoon admitting everything on it, it should stick. They leave after hours of questioning, putting you under a microscope and dissecting every part of you. It leaves you in desperate need of a shower to wash it all off.

The warm rays of the sun offer no solace as you look out the window. Mindlessly, your hands trace over your skin. The media has already picked up the story, your face and name has long been released to the public. One look through your socials confirmed you’ve been thrown to the wolves. People are accusing you of trying to break up a loving family, they’re saying you’re trying to get money out of him, the normal vitriol a victim faces but it gets to you.

The only good thing about this whole thing is that the entire hospital now knows that you and Zayne never dated, that it was a ruse in an attempt to keep Ha-yoon away.

Two days later, you’re only a day away from being discharged when there’s a knock on your door. It means the person on the other end is not anyone that’s visited you so far. You tell them to enter. Leo walks in, a sheepish smile adorning his face, he’s doing the same habit of his, fiddling with his hands. Something he does when he’s nervous.

“Can I sit,” he gestures to the chair, growing more nervous when your face remains impassive. You nod.

“I’m sorry,” he starts. “I should’ve been here, you were trying to tell me before, weren’t you?” You look away from the guilt shining on his face. It makes you waver and you can’t let that happen. “Yeah, I was.”

You don’t see him move from the chair, only noticing when he settles on your bed with you. “I came as soon as I heard. Are you okay?” He tries to caress your face but you move it out the way. His face drops but he honours your request. “I am, you can leave now.”

“Wait,” he lurches forward and grasps your hands together, not caring that he’s crossed your boundary. “Why didn’t you tell me your relationship with Dr Li was fake?” You give him a baffled look. “Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re more concerned about?” you’re practically yelling, all the pent up emotion from the last week finally making its way out. Some part of you feels bad, no matter how selfish he’s being, Leo doesn’t deserve the brunt of all your feelings but the other…the other is happy for a release.

“You couldn’t even be bothered to ask if it was true in the first place, you don’t get to come back and ask for apologies. Get out, I never want to see you again,” by now your voice captures the attention of those outside. Zayne himself enters, confused at first before comprehending the situation. Your current state has him by your side, only the feel of his hands on you calms you down. The nurses usher Leo out of the room and you don’t even spare him a second glance, your attention is on Zayne. You see it then, a quick flash in his eyes. A glint of something.

Almost like satisfaction.

You’ve always had his attention.

Even when he had yet to meet you.

All it took was a meeting with an old friend who passed on your unfinished thesis. He read all twenty pages in one day, your words had him in a trance and he wanted to meet the person with such a fascinating mind.

He cheated by looking at your socials. You didn’t have much of an online presence nor did you post often, none of the photos you posted had your picture in them, all he could settle on was your profile picture. A simple photo of you bundled up under covers, smiling softly at the camera. He didn’t know then why he saved it, or why he found himself looking at it from time to time.

It’s when he sees you for the first time in that lecture room that he makes sense of it. You notice him too, not just because he’s the guest lecturer, but because you know him or maybe he’s just being deluded. He doesn’t affect you in the same way, he wished it didn’t hurt or that he was used to it or even that it was the first time. He allows himself one look at you, you stare at him mystified and it leaves him smug. He’s not above feeling in such a way, you might not look at him in the same way but he’ll take this. He’ll make it enough.

But he didn’t realise that there would be a time where it won’t be enough.

The first time he spoke to you didn’t go in the way he wanted, he was glad none of the coffee burnt you but a sick part of him was glad, you won’t forget him so easily with a first meeting like this. He makes an off hand comment about you joining him at Akso and he knows he has you with the way you light up at his praise.

A whole year goes by without seeing you and he’s never been so restless.

It’s funny, he went years not seeing her, meeting her again by chance and yet he’s barely holding it together now. Looking back, he should’ve realised sooner his infatuation with you, he’s better than that. Perhaps he just didn’t want to admit it.

Loving her had been a constant throughout his entire life, he knew her since they were kids, he knew her. Well enough to know she’d never feel the same way for him but that was okay with him. As long as she remained by his side, he’d have her in any capacity, as a patient or a friend. Maybe that’s why he didn’t see you, you weren’t familiar, what you were was unknown. He should’ve realised that the unknown was what he specialized in, that sooner or later he would want to discover you.

Maybe he could’ve warned himself then, to keep his distance through all the years he’s known you because it’s too late now. There’s only one role you can have is by his side. And it’s not as a friend or a colleague.

He makes sure not to give anything away when you start at the hospital, not even his voice betrays the fact that he’d been keeping an eye on you. Zayne expected you to cry when he yelled at you, he’s not proud of it but he’s raised his voice on several occasions when patients' lives are put at risk by the very people meant to help them and in each occasion they cry but you take it. You don’t flinch, your eyes meet his and all he sees is regret.

You have two special areas in the hospital, one of them is a corner far away where you go to cry. He hears you cry for the little girl, apologising to her in the silence. You’ll make a good doctor.

Two years pass by, you’ve decided to specialise in cardiology with him. A lot has changed in these two years and a lot hasn’t. He’s become somewhat of a mentor to you, you’re not afraid to seek him out and ask for help. Zayne doesn’t think you even realise that the other residents have also started doing the same. He’s not sure why they’re all so afraid of him, all he wants is for them to succeed and he’s thankful you helped them see that in your own way.

You part ways with your friend, Leo. Zayne shouldn’t be happy about it, it clearly affects you. He shouldn’t be happy. He shouldn’t.

But he is.

The first time he saw you together with her, he couldn’t help but compare you two. Yvonne was right, the two of you couldn’t be any different. She was younger or brighter in a sense. It showed in the kindness she held for everyone, her openness pulling in everyone. You were older and not dull but…silent. It was your silence that captured attention, made you a mystery in a way. Which is why you seemed to shine in those little moments where you held warmth for others around you, you were loyal to a fault. Even the way you both laugh are polar opposites, she laughs loud and with force, folding over and holding her stomach or lightly hitting someone around her. You laugh quietly with your hand over your mouth, politely but also a way to restrain yourself.

Zayne still doesn’t realise until he’s in that room and she’s hooked to several machines, unconscious and unable to respond and you’re pulling him to your second comfort area in the hospital. The storage closet you kept a secret from everyone, yet were willing to share it with him. He’s inside the room, the slight crack through the door allows him to see your feet and all he can do is lightly trace where your figure must be on the door. He’s flushed bright red and you have no idea what the mess you’ve made him.

One hand remains on the door, where he hopes your heart might be, and the other rubs quickly on his shaft. He’s holding his shirt in his teeth so that no moans slip out as vile images of you play in his mind. What would you think if he was to pull you in this room and show you the sight of your superior needy and wanton all for you? It’s the imagination of you on your knees that does him in, cum spraying all over his hand.

He’s tainted your room with him.

And you have no idea.

Claiming to be your partner in front of that buffoon that threw you away was done without thinking. Protecting you became second nature and it was what gave him an in. He brushed aside the rage directed at your ex because in truth he was a little grateful to the man. Ha-yoon had ruined you for any other men but Zayne would fix you just for himself.

Because you don’t love him, not now and certainly not after his plan is put in motion. He can’t handle it, he was fine with her not returning his feelings but you’re not allowed to. You don’t love him but he can make you think you do and by the time you realise, it’ll be too late.

He’ll start with Ha-yoon.

“No, I’ll do it,” the idiot had no idea how predictable he truly was. Zayne saw the way man looked at you at the gala, Ha-yoon saw you as property and discarded or not, the moron still saw you as his.

He tries not to delight in the way Ha-yoon’s face drops when Zayne steps through the door but it must show on his face as the other man glares. “Where’s [Name]?”

“She’s busy.”

Too busy for you.

“What brings you here today, Mr Choi?”

“Cut the crap, we both know why I’m here,” Ha-yoon snaps. “I want her back.”

“And you thought harassing her at her work was the way to do it,” Zayne raises an eyebrow, he has a unique way of making anyone feel inferior and the way Ha-yoon shrinks, it’s currently working. “I saw your wife, in what world did you think [Name] would enter a relationship with a man willing to leave his pregnant wife? Do you even know her?”

“I miss her. I never realised how much she did for me until she was gone. She knew me inside and out, how I like my coffee, or how my suit should be ironed and all the things I like. I love her and she loved me once, she can do it again.”

Zayne lets out a cold laugh, the other man involuntarily shivers as the temperature in the room drops. “You claim to love her when all the reasons listed are just the labour she did for you. What you should’ve said is that you miss how she throws her head just a little when she laughs, how mesmerising her smile is that imprints itself into your mind or how no matter how hard you try, her scent will always linger,” he walks closer to the man. Zayne is taller, he’s just…better than this scumbag in every way. “Face it, you left her penniless and broken and it backfired. She fixed herself better than you ever thought possible, she’s too good for you. You knew that from the moment you met her, that’s why you worked so hard to make her into something she’s not.”

With that he walks away and opens the door, looking back at the man. “We’re done here. Show up again and I’ll call security.”

He’s an idiot, Zayne thinks for the tenth time that day as he watches Ha-yoon confront you from the safety of his office. The man had done exactly what Zayne wanted. Ha-yoon’s ego and pride were too big to sustain being damaged, so he would gladly ruin you in response.

And Zayne will be there to comfort you every step of the way.

Zayne likes to see himself as the lesser evil of the two. He’s not so deluded to think himself as a knight in shining armour, no he knows exactly what he is. But that’s the issue with knights in shining armour, they save everyone, they’re willing to sacrifice the one they love for the world. You don’t need that, you need someone who’ll always love you first.

You think no one else realises, Zayne thinks you might not see it yourself, but you’re starved for attention. He noticed the way you lean into hugs, you never initiate affection but you’re always the last one to let go.

It makes him laugh how much Ha-yoon doesn’t see his actions only push you closer to Zayne. He now has access to the cameras installed in your house, he knows your code, the password to your phone just in case, Zayne’s become your safety. Just the way he wanted.

In a twist even he didn’t see coming, Leo takes himself out of the equation and you try to keep in how you’re grieving the loss of friendship but you fold with some soft prodding, right into his arms once again.

The only thing he’s sorry for, the only thing he regrets is how Zayne failed to see that Ha-yoon was pushed too far. His heart dropped when he heard the man banging on your door, his panic and worry were all real as he raced to your apartment. Zayne would’ve killed him, he should have killed him but the police were right behind so he shifted his attention to you. The guilt that manifests upon seeing your state crumpled on the floor, reduced once again to that once small figure Ha-yoon had made of you, Zayne thinks for the first time he might’ve taken things too far.

But the regret doesn’t last long. You don’t leave him alone after. Your hold on his wrist tightens whenever he informs you that he needs to leave, you text him first and you call even more. You need him more than ever and he’s drunk off the feeling.

So, he leaks the story to the press. All he has to do is sit back and watch as your face and name get released. As your address becomes public knowledge and you have nowhere to go. He slyly offers up his guest bedroom before anyone else can.

It’s torture sleeping in the room next to yours, knowing you’re right there but he can’t do anything. He settles on reading a book to pass the time. Except he never realised how unpredictable you can be when his bedroom door opens and you walk in. You don’t say a word as you crawl on his bed and sit right on his lap.

You bring your head closer to his, close enough for your hair to fall on his face. “Do you like me, Dr Li?” you whisper. “Yes,” he confirms, keeping eye contact with you. His eyes fall on your lips, which curl up into a smirk as you notice. “You have no idea how much,” he whispers back, his gaze falling back into your eyes letting you see his devotion.

You bring your lips closer, almost about to kiss him but he blocks it by lightly touching your mouth with his palm. You look at him in confusion but he’s not budging. Because you’re testing him, to see if he’s like the other men in your life. He’s not so disillusioned to think otherwise. But he is cruel enough to make you believe otherwise.

“I didn’t bring you here for this,” his hand moves and his thumb traces over your top lip. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

Seeing that he’s not going to give you what you want, you make the first move. Your hand clutches the hand near your mouth, bringing it in and pressing a kiss in the middle of his palm. You hear his breath hitch when you do. “I think I like you, Zayne,” you smile teasingly and gently roll your hips right against his, eliciting a small groan from him. “What if I want you to take advantage?”

His hands settle on the side of your hips, stopping you in place. “You little minx,” he growls. He’s quick to shove you over, nudging your legs to open with his thighs. “You don’t get to take it back,” he whispers against your lips.

He has you now.

Your hands scramble for purchase on the desk but each move only has the man pound harder into you from behind.

The fast movement from his hips leaves you mindless and draped over his desk, your body pliant for his bidding. You bite your lips hard to prevent any sound from leaking, to the displeasure of the man currently bringing you, well…pleasure.

“Zayne,” he says, making you look at him in confusion. “That’s the name of the man making you feel like this,” he brings his mouth to your ear. “Say it, moan it or scream it. Pick one,” his movement stills, pulling a whine out of you.

He’s not going to continue until you adhere, so you give in. “Please Z-zayne,” you tug at his shirt. “Faster,” you whine. He moves his entire body on top of yours, kissing your cheek and nuzzling into your neck. “Good girl,” he praises, smirking as you tighten around him in response.

You let out a moan as he gives you what you want, the desk moving with each hard thrust. The new angle allows him to piston even deeper into you, drawing loud moans from you both. It thrills him that you’re so lost in the pleasure that you don’t even care who hears, it could end your career but you’re too busy moaning like a slut to realise. You’re lucky his office is sound-proof but where's the fun in telling you that?

You can feel the pressure building inside you, you’re close and judging from how his speed picks up as his movements get sloppy, so is he. A sudden thrust has him landing even deeper and it’s your undoing as you cum around his cock with a grunt he cums too. He holds you on his desk for a few minutes, both of you just taking the time to breathe and come down from the high.

His hand comes up to your chin and pulls it to him, bringing you into a kiss. It’s been a few months since you started dating and not a day has gone by where he hasn’t had his way with you. The man is insatiable, needy even when he’s so tired he can’t even move. With how much he’s come inside you, you’re wondering if your birth control can even put up a fight anymore.

You don’t know that he replaced your pills months ago.

He’s always seen himself having kids after marriage but you would never agree to either so quickly so he’ll have to make you.

A year later you stand before the mirror, examining the ring on your finger and the round bump housing something in your stomach.

This was what you wanted.

Right?

AN: Scattered Adolescents = Stray Kids. I just had to, I found it so funny.

And yes, I included exactly how I lost my 50/50 to Caleb, I don’t care that it's been over a week, I’m still salty.

I felt like out of all of them, Zayne would be the one to be subtle rather than forceful so I hope I did it justice. I thought it would be funny to start with reader judging her other self for falling victim to manipulation and then end up in the same position.

Currently watching Lost in space and why is the robot sexy? Guys, why did they make the robot hot? I yearn for the metal.

Happy Juneleb guys! May you all get the birthday card x4 in one pull.

Tag list: @zeverean @quill-for-glory @smittenlynn @nm4565natty @miuangel @noxus123

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aceecee · 12 days ago

Note

Hi! Since you're discontinuing "apartment 8," I was wondering if you would ever give the authorship of the fic for someone else to continue if they want to? Thank you and take care 🫶

I thought I would be okay with it but I'm thinking of revamping it, I have another idea with a similar setting but the synopsis won't be the same. So, I don't think I am going to, people are more than welcome to write similar fics, it's not like I own the idea but not the story itself.

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aceecee · 13 days ago

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Update

My series Apartment 08 is being discontinued. I just don't have the energy to start it. I'm still keeping the page up but it's no longer on my masterlist. If anyone would like to take over, I wouldn't mind but I'm not going to start it. Sorry, I just don't have the time and the creativity to finish it.

#lads fanfic #love and deepspace #lads #loveanddeepspace #aceecee #caleb x reader #lads caleb #lads rafayel #mc x reader #lads mc #lads sylus #lads zayne #lads x reader #lads xavier #sylus x reader #zayne x reader #rafayel x reader #xavier x reader

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aceecee · 14 days ago

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Miseria - Sneak peak 2

AN: Still feeling the effects from my concussion but I'm doing much better than before. I can't write anything linear but I have so many scenarios for each love interest that I've been writing snippets before I forget about them and thought I'd share one for each. Order of release will depend on which one I finish but I'm trying for that to be Zayne's.

As always, the following works have themes of obsession, murder, angst, abuse and more. Do not interact if these bother you. Even if some may not seem like it, all the versions are going to be dark. There are no happy endings here, for you that is, the love interests will get theirs.

Disclaimer: This is not what I think of the love interests at all, even as yanderes. It's all just indulgence.

Zayne x Doctor!Reader

Did his eyes linger or are you just being delusional?

He goes back to the lecture, not looking at you again.

Yup, delusional.

If only you realised the opposite of that is also true.

Rafayel x Opera Singer!Reader

Siren:

You’re welcome! Enjoy your time with her ;) My services as a wingwoman don’t come cheap, Mr Rafayel!

He lets out a laugh. There’s a serene smile on his face as he texts back.

Rafayel:

but I dun remember hiring you? i see this is how the great Siren makes her money

Siren:

Well, now I have to kill you. Can’t have you telling my secrets. Shame. I quite liked you.

He’s about to respond when his attention gets diverted by a hand waving in his face. “Earth to Rafayel!” his bride smiles at him. “I’ve been calling your name for a while. What’s got you so distracted?” Her question leaves him speechless. In what world did he subconsciously ignore her like that? At the dumbfounded look on his face, the woman before him smiles even larger. “Were you texting [Name]? It was her, wasn’t it?” Why does she look so giddy?

“What makes you think it was her?”

She rolls her eyes, like he should already know the answer. Unfortunately, he’s very out of the loop.

“Because only she makes you smile like that, duh.” She lets out a giggle at the astonishment shining on his face. “You seriously didn’t notice? You get all relaxed and dopey when she’s around. Like a puppy!”

Her voice fades into the background as she rambles on, all of it about examples of the behaviour he’s been exhibiting around you. It’s all too much. Too much for him to deal with.

Because she’s right. About all of it.

He examines every single moment with you in his mind, analysing them all under a microscope. Why didn’t he realise it sooner?

Bile rests in his throat as he looks at the woman in front of him. She’s still talking, unaware of the turmoil she’s left him in. Even though she holds no affection for him in this life, even though she’s happy to picture him with someone else, he’s not. Guilt has always been a companion, always lingering in the background but right now it’s front and centre. Shame washes through him, he’s betrayed the woman he loves (loved?).

Sylus x Waitress(?) Reader

*Still not sure what role I want reader to have, at first I was considering her being a waitress at Elysium but then I also wanted her to have her own restaurant in Linkon. Let me know what you would like

“I don’t know what more you want from me,” each word becomes more difficult to say than the last. The blockage in your throat from the tears prevents any more.

You’re so tired of this. Why should you keep being punished for something you never had fault in?

The bruises around your neck throb in reminder of what he’s capable of. A sick part of you wishes he finished the job instead of torturing you like this.

“I never sought you out, Sylus. I kept my distance. I-I was more than happy to see you live your life,” you plead with the man in front of you. “You’re the one that kept coming back. Just leave me alone, what more do I have to do?”

His hand clenched into a fist at the sight of the crying woman in front of him. Each whimper from her mouth strikes him in the heart. His eyes fall on the shades of green and blue decorating her neck.

There are two parts of him fighting for control. The saner one which felt shame at the hurt he inflicted upon her and the other one that felt delight at marking what’s his. Until those bruises heal, every day she has to live with him in mind, never escaping him.

He doesn’t want to admit which side won.

She yelps in fright when he lurches forward and grasps her wrist, she flinches as their eyes meet, leaving a sick feeling inside him. It’s too late to make it all better. She’ll never forgive him and she’s right to do so, he’ll go lower.

“Be mine,” he growls, pulling her closer into his chest, his head lowered to speak into her ear. “That’ll be your punishment. For the rest of your wretched life, you’ll be spending it with me.”

MC (Mara) x Professor! Reader

You don’t hesitate to race toward the crying child. You tackle him to the floor, your entire body covering him. When the nails connect with your back, a flash of white hits you. When you come back to the present, there’s a loud shriek penetrating the air. It takes a second to realise it’s from you.

Biting your lip to keep it in, you pick yourself and the child up and you run. But you can feel the blood escaping out of you, your vision becomes blurry and the screams of and roars around you dilute due to the ringing in your ears. You’re not going to make it, you’re not fast enough but you can still save the child. With a painful grunt, you push the child and scream at him to run. He does.

You don’t have time to process anything when you’re roughly pushed back onto the floor. Your head hits the floor with a loud thud. The wanderer looms over you, you stare at your executioner right back in the eye. It only agitates it even more.

With a roar, it plunges its claw into your abdomen.

You don’t really know what happens after that. Each time you blink, the image before you changes. The wanderer looks back at something and charges at it. Then, there’s nothing in front of you. When you open your eyes again, there’s a human face above you. You can’t make out any details but you think they’re trying to speak to you.

“Professor…?”

A warm hand cradles your face and you realise just how cold you’ve become, you push your head in further desperate for heat. They seem to be shaking you but your eyes don’t open back up the next time you blink.

“No, no, no,” she pleads. “Professor, you have to keep your eyes open,” she grips your shoulders tight, shaking you. It does nothing. Mara cradles your limp body in her arms. “Why are you so pale, [Name]?”

[Name].

Why aren’t you breathing?

Xavier x Vice Captain!Reader

The boy before you seems to be sulking about something.

You examine him carefully, i-is he pouting?!?

“What’s with you, Xavier?”

He’s quiet for a while, blinking those big blue eyes at you, resembling a kicked puppy. Fuck, he’s cute.

“Why do you do it for everyone else but not me?” Now, it feels like you kicked this puppy yourself. Damn, he’s really good at playing with people.

“Do what?”

His hand cups yours and brings it up to his head, maneuvering your palm up and down his head. “You give them all headpats so easily but no matter how well I do, I’ve never received one. Why is that?”

He doesn’t put your hand back down instead he keeps it in his, rubbing gently on the skin there.

“Oh? Sorry, Xavier. I never realised. I’ll do it from now on.”

His eyes narrow and you gulp. You might be his superior but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s much older and stronger than you’ll ever be. The safety of that fact is only for the MC, it’ll never be for you. Standing before you is a man who could end your life in mere seconds, most of which would be spent wiping the blood off his blade.

“But the intent would be different, it wouldn’t be earned,” he flips your hand over, finger gently tracing over the lines on your palm but you’d be a fool not to notice the grip he has on you. “And it doesn’t change the fact that you handed it out so easily to others, many of them didn’t even deserve it.”

Should I just kill them all, [Name]?

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aceecee · 16 days ago

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Small life update <3

Hi guys,

I'm on pain medication while I type this so I'm pretty out of it.

The ao3 curse got me, first it was a bee stinging me in the comfort of my own home at 9pm not even thirty minutes after I wrote the first chapter for this and then a bunch of other stuff and lately in my chaotic life, I suffered from a really bad fall and hit my head on the table on the way down. Sounds worse than it actually it lol I'm just suffering from a concussion and am currently in the hospital bored as hell.

I'm fine, I've been thoroughly checked over. Love my doctor and nurses all of them were so nice, tho unfortunately I accidently flashed my really cute nurse and traumatised him.

Woah I'm rambling, point is next update will happen in two weeks or more. Depends when I stop being so loopy, it's hard even keeping my head up. No one tells you of the neck pain that comes with a concussion. Idk why but for some reason I'm really worried about my grammar as I type this.

Random crackhead in the hospital parking lot said I had a nice ass so at least something good came out of this.

Okay, I'm gonna sleep now and probably regret typing this in the morning so be nice.

*Also I'm too lazy and am gonna copy and paste this into tumblr

#lads fanfic #love and deepspace #aceecee #lads x reader #too lazy to tag more

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aceecee · 17 days ago

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Miseria - Poll

I'm currently writing Zayne's version but for some reason I'm not satisfied with the way I left Caleb's. Even though it's already over 14K words I feel like I can add more, little tidbits of reader and her dead husband for example to make it even more sad.

Which got me thinking if you guys wanted a part two for all of them. Part one can focus on how they make you theirs and part two will be a few months or years into the relationship with them. Might even include some dubcon moments but is that too far? (But if you thought Caleb's was bad, the others are worse)

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aceecee · 18 days ago

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Insatiable - Extra #9

TW/Tags: some are suggestive

Masterlist

They react to their contact name saved on your phone.

MC - ‘Wife’

“Hey [Name]?” the woman clinging to your back while you wake up asks. You turn around and greet her with a sleepy smile that grows bigger when she places a kiss on your cheek. You give her a sleepy nod.

“I was wondering what you have me saved as on your phone.”

It’s an odd question to be asked first thing in the morning but as always you indulge her. You reach for your nightstand where your phone resides, unlocking it and passing it over to her. You don’t pay attention to what she does next, sleep catching on the corner of your eyes. So, it’s a surprise when she throws her full weight on you. She plants numerous kisses on you, each one too fast for you, before getting off and tugging on your arms in an attempt to get you off the bed.

“Let’s go.”

You stare at her in confusion.

“Let’s go get married. We can plan a proper wedding later but let’s make it real right now.”

Caleb - ‘Dude’

“DUDE?!?”

Ah, there goes your peace. Shattered so easily by one man.

Two arms reach for your shoulders and shake you awake. You swat at the arms as roughly as possible, already aware of the menace who’s doing it.

“Shortcake,” he whines.

With a sign, you finally crack your eyes open, glaring at the man child. The one who disturbed your precious sleep.

“Why do you have me saved as Dude?” he pouts at you.

[“It’s what you deserve.”]

You turn around and try to go back to sleep.

A heavy weight collapses on top of you. “I’m not getting up until you change it.”

Jokes on him, his weight on you is comforting and before you know it you’re fast asleep.

Caleb whines a little, even poking your cheek in hopes you’ll wake up but it does nothing. Your peaceful expression wins him over and soon soft snores are leaving him.

He’ll just continue in the morning.

Zayne - ‘zayniee’

“I overheard a conversation between two nurses today,” the man speaks into your neck. He’s currently holding you in his lap, in a tight grip. It’s common for him to seek comfort in you particularly after a long day. You rub the skin on his hand that’s on your hip, telling him to continue. “They were discussing what name their partner’s had them saved as. I don’t know why but it stuck with me…”

His unspoken question doesn’t go unnoticed.

You press a kiss to his cheek, it delights you when he gets like this. You reach into your pants pocket, unlocking your phone and finding his contact. You feel his hair tickle you as he moves his head to see better.

“Of course,” he chuckles. You feel his grip tighten on you. “Only you can call me that.” He’s silent for a few seconds before continuing. “It’s a privilege only granted to you. Don’t I deserve a reward?”

You roll your eyes playfully at his childish behaviour before getting up and tugging him into the bedroom.

The man has the audacity to sport a bright grin.

Sylus - ‘Boss’

You love a night routine, especially after a long day.

Taking a warm bath or shower, scrubbing yourself clean of any dirt then drying yourself off and changing into comfortable sleeping clothes. You follow it by your skincare, all while thinking of your nice comfortable bed that you’ve missed.

So, when you’re greeted by Sylus lazing on your bed like it’s his (you don’t care if he paid for it), scrolling through your phone, frustration rings through you at an alarming speed. The towel around your neck goes flying at him only to be stopped in the air by a red mist holding it in place.

“Now, that’s just rude,” he teases. “Here I was hoping to cuddle and instead I’m under attack,” he clutches the area where his heart is.

You roll your eyes at him. [“Give me my phone, you ass.”]

“What? This little thing?” He holds the phone up, smirking when you nod. “Only if you explain why I’m saved as Boss?” You know the close-eyed smile he gives you is not meant to be as carefree as it looks.

[“Well…you are my boss, are you not?”]

The man blinks at you.

“I’ve been inside you.”

Xavier - ‘Sleepyhead’

His arms are wrapped tightly around you.

The two of you are currently at your place. It’s your monthly cooking class for him. It all started when he made (and failed…spectacularly) you some pancakes. He proposed that you teach him after but due to your hectic schedules you can only do it once a month. To you it was an opportunity to better his cooking but to the sly fucker, it was all an excuse to have you to himself.

An entire day, with no else around? Just you and him. It was heaven for him.

The rice dish you prepared together is on the stove, on low. It’ll need an hour more to cook so to pass the time, Xavier demanded cuddles and you wanted to watch your show. He flashed you those dumb blue eyes and so, you reached a compromise.

That leads you to now, sitting on his lap on the couch while watching the new episode of your show. “So, it was the stepmother all along,” Xavier whispers into your neck. You nod, [“I told you so.”] You offer him the bowl of popcorn, stuffing some into his mouth when he just opens it in response. He should know better than to doubt your knowledge of shitty dramas.

Your phone pings with a notification. You reach for the coffee table and pick it up. It’s a message from Mara confirming about your lunch date tomorrow. You think nothing of it as you respond, not realising Xavier’s focused look on your screen.

“If she’s Wife then what am I saved as?” he asks. No answer other than Husband will suffice but you don’t know that. You show him.

“Sleepyhead? Why am I Sleepyhead? Why not ‘Love of my life’, or ‘Only one for me’?”

You laugh at the offended look on his face, completely unaware of the danger you’ve placed yourself in. Suddenly, you’re thrown back on the couch with him hovering above you.

“I’m angry now,” he leans in to kiss you. “Since it’s your fault, fix it.”

Rafayel - ‘Public Nuisance’

You had been curious about Rafayel’s process of using items like seashells in his works. As a result of your ask, you had spent the entire day together. First, gathering seashells on the beach. You should’ve gone back to his house after but he insisted on eating first, stating you’ll need it for energy.

And he was right. You’ve collapsed on his couch, your arms are about to fall off. If you knew the process involved grinding the seashells over and over again until they became powder, you would have never signed on in the first place. But you had to admit, it was cute how excited he was to tell you all about it. It’s your favourite thing in the world, watching those you love tell you about things that bring them joy.

He laughs when you let out a groan. “I never said it would be easy, pretty.” You can only pick your head up and glare in response. “Will you forgive me if I order some food?” he sports an amused expression as you eagerly nod. “Where’s your phone then?” You point your leg in the direction of your bag.

Rafayel digs through your bag as you close your eyes and rest. It shouldn’t excite him that you trust him around your things. He easily unlocks your things since you never kept your password a secret. On the screen, he comes across a notification of an old message.

Ha! What poor sucker did she name Pu…

Concerned with how quiet he’s being, you open your eyes, only to stare right into your screen. “Explain this to me, brat,” he huffs. You raise an eyebrow in question. He leans his face right into yours. “Who names their lover that?”

[“Maybe you shouldn’t perfectly embody that name, then?”] You give him a smirk.

You swear his eye twitches, his reactions are exactly why you love teasing him.

“You’re on a Rafayel ban from now on, pretty. No more of me until you apologize and change the name,” he storms off, dramatically closing his bedroom door with a loud thud.

The doorbell still rings though, ten minutes later, as a delivery man drops off food.

AN: Should I stop making Caleb so puppy-like? Probably. Will I though? Nope.

Tag List: @serenity-loves-red @crimsonmarabou @reni502 @r0ckb1n @queenkymmie @plzdonutpercieveme @perqbeth @mephisto-with-a-knife @tumblingdevils @angelwhizpers @eolivy @yuurisfavblog @miuangel @young-adult-summer @loreleis-world

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aceecee · 20 days ago

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Insatiable - Chapter Eleven

TW/Tags: mentions of death, possessive behaviour, obsession, angst, hurt/comfort, guilt manifesting as hallucinations, child death (not explicit), focuses on how Lemurians are hunted and sold in game, murder, gore, gunshot wound, unhinged removal of said gunshot wound, stabbing, small implication of possible non-con situation taking place (but nothing happens since you kill them, yayyy murderrr!!!)

Synopsis: Rafayel meets you for the first(?) time, you and Sylus finally have a heart to heart and then you traumatise Rafayel!

WC: 5.2K

Masterlist

Rafayel was the last one to meet you.

He was the first to seek you out.

You never fell for his act and yet you still let him into your life. You’ve forced him into this, it’s all your fault.

It only exists in those moments he feels pain.

When he has angered his god and must suffer in return.

As the ice pierces his chest, adjusting its pain so he can never get used to it.

It’ll appear then.

But it never reaches out. It never comforts him.

For some reason he knows it's because it can’t. It can’t interfere. It can’t make it all better, no matter how much it wants to.

But in those moments, he feels it’s grief, it’s guilt and sometimes he can see it cry and it’s enough. To know that someone cares for him, that someone is crying for him. It’s all he needs.

Until one day, it’s gone.

He cries then. The pain he felt unlike any other, not even the punishments from his god could compare. It died and it left him behind.

Many years pass.

Though he no longer remembers it all, his curse still follows him. Though he no longer remembers, his presence comes back to life.

This time it’s in a warm body, blood pumping through its veins.

He wastes no time in claiming her.

You can’t play a fool any longer.

You’ve tried for years to be apathetic to it all and you had succeeded. But you can’t do it anymore. You can’t pretend you don’t notice how they look at you, the way they touch you and the hidden meaning their words hold. You have many words to describe yourself and oblivious was never one of them.

Mara’s possessive streak had been a constant through your entire childhood with every adult around you dismissing it and even though you pretend otherwise, you knew. When she would sneak into your room in the middle of the night, making herself comfortable next to you and spending hours just watching you, you knew. When her gentle hold would tighten into a bruising grip as your attention slipped elsewhere, you knew the reasons why. You ignored it all and you never told her that you liked when she left those bruises on you, you liked that she was marking you as hers and that you felt safe in those nights as she watched over you.

You took care of Caleb because you thought he would be safe. He wasn’t a love interest and he hated you yet he too changed just as quick. When he had kissed you that day, you didn’t ignore him after because you thought he was simply confused, no you were aware of his feelings. Telling him not to do it again might just be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. You noticed every time he held himself back from touching you, the way his eyes would dim when he would call you a friend. Now, he’s gone and you can’t take those words back. You can’t tell him that you still think about the kiss, that you remember how it felt and that you dream about a future with him that’ll never come to pass.

Zayne was different. He deemed you only as a friend. Maybe, that's why you let go around him, thinking you could indulge in his presence without worry. Then you saved him from himself and he wasn’t just a friend anymore. The look in his eyes was mesmerising when he visited you in the hospital the next day. Like it was the first time he saw you, in a way he’d never considered before. You didn’t have to delve on it much since he left after. Now, he’s back and you don’t tell him how much you missed him, how you remember every detail of that night with him and how much you want to do it again.

Sylus was confusing to understand. One week he would treat you like you meant nothing and the next like you were everything, sometimes you find him watching you, like he didn’t know the answer either. It took you nearly slipping out his fingers for him to conclude and the marks on your neck speak of his choice. He’s softer now, hands reaching to you whenever you’re close, kisses placed lightly on your head all with his gaze electric from the storms brewing inside. You lose yourself in these little moments, only to regret them in the next as you remember the hurt he has pressed deep into you. It stings more than your scars ever did.

You could brush them all off. Rationalise their odd behaviours and reason to yourself. Of course things are different, you’ve known them for years now, relationships are bound to change and develop!

So, then why did Xavier have to look at you like that?

As if you’d hung the night stars yourself, so the moon wouldn’t be lonely. Like the colours of the night had been personally chosen and painted by you.

What did you do to deserve this? You’re a disgrace of a human being. The epitome of the word selfish. You knew of their yearning and happily indulged in their affections while making them think otherwise. Caleb…

He died thinking the girl he loved was also gone and she’d never see him that way.

How could you even begin to atone for such a sin?

You tell Zayne you don’t want anything more but you never stop him from stealing a kiss. You tell Sylus you can’t forgive him yet you sang his name on command. You tell yourself over and over again that it’s the last time, that things will be different next time. It never is.

You’ve become addicted to them. You can no longer let them go. But have they ever been yours? How selfish can you be to want all of them? How much more until you’re satisfied?

Your heavy thoughts lead you to the beach. The sand digs into you, it’ll be a pain to clean up but the sounds of the waves clashing are too peaceful to pass up. In your first life, you had a raging fear of the ocean, particularly the undiscovered parts of it. Yet for some reason, it calls to you here. It’s soothing and paired with the rays of the sun hitting your face, it ends up being heaven.

Several noises ring around you. You watch as kids run around, happy and smiling, they build their sandcastles and get into competitions. Their parents watch them, the smiles on their faces so serene that you can’t help the tiny one you’re growing. You’re so lost in other people, you don’t realise the set of eyes staring at you.

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.

I know you, the look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.

Miss Bodyguard:

Something came up. I’m so sorry Rafayel :( I promise I’ll make it up to you!

Rafayel:

dun worry about it cutie needed some time to paint anyway

A sick part of him doesn’t want to be understanding. She feels bad about ditching him, it’s the perfect opportunity to make her feel worse but he stops himself. To her, their friendship is new but to him…it’s been too long. He has to be careful. He can always pout a little in their next meeting, it’ll get the message across.

He could also tell her that he’s already at the beach, that he’s set out a cute picnic for them and he’s about to but a smell stops him. It has too many notes for him to decipher but there’s an underlying one that’s strong. It smells like the aftereffects of rain, when the soil has soaked in all the liquid, as little droplets fall off leaves and the sky grows a rainbow. Nature at its best.

It’s enticing. The smell is so tempting that he’s already making his way towards it, picnic long forgotten.

He wishes he could say he doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he’s all too familiar with how his heart starts beating so fast, his fingers twitching with the need to touch, his face flushing when he sees the small smile on her face.

Rafayel doesn’t know you. He’s never seen you before, he’s sure because he would never forget a face like yours.

So, then why does it feel like he does?

Why do his fingers remember the sensation of your threading through them? Why has he memorised the feel of your lips against his? Why does every fibre of his being want to sit next to you and ask why you’re so sad? Because even with that smile on your face, he can’t ignore the years of pain your eyes have accumulated.

He’s so consumed by his confusion that by the time his eyes sweep over yours, you’re already walking away.

And his heart burns at the image, like you’ve done it before.

Like you’ve left him before.

Forever.

But if I know you. I know what you’ll do.

You’ll love me at once.

The way you did once upon a dream.

Sylus has been different.

It should come with no surprise to the twins. His personality changes recently come as a result from you. Yet, they can’t shake off this new one.

It occurred the day after he took you into his bedroom. The twins don’t know what happened, they don’t want to know what happened. But whatever it was had left the man dejected. They’ve never seen him so depressed.

He’s had his moments, the twins are thankful for it even, it’s a reminder that he’s human. But Sylus never shows it on his face. It’ll show through his hands, if he’s angry then he’ll tear enemies apart, if he’s sad then his fingers will rub the rims of whatever glass he’s holding, if he’s distracted then his hands twitch and he usually goes on a long ride to clear his head.

This time, he shows it all through his eyes. They follow you whenever you’re around, twinged with regret and yearning. Sulking, they realise, he’s sulking. And he’s certainly not telling them why, so they’ll just have to go straight to the source.

You’re suspicious when the twins surprise you with a chocolate lava cake one day, made by them - they had claimed - way too happy and eager for you to eat. [“What’s the occasion?”] you eye them. You’re sure they grin at you behind their masks. “Things have been so entertaining with you here, [Name],” Luke slides the plate towards you. “You deserve something sweet in return,” Kieran finishes off.

With a sigh, you pick up the spoon and taste the cake. It’s slightly undercooked but for a first attempt, it’s amazing. Your hum of approval has them patting the other on the back.

“Say [Name]. What have you done to the boss?”

[“I don’t know what you mean.”]

“He’s been moping about for a couple of days now. C’mon just tell us,” Luke whines, shaking you slightly.

You swat his hands away but their question has you thinking back on that day.

You wake up and even with your eyes bleary, you can tell you were sleeping on someone’s chest.

Then the remnants of last night make their way back to you. Your body flushes as you remember Sylus hovering above you, attacking you with kisses. That you initiated. The feeling of his body pressed atop yours had brought an odd sense of comfort, not at all suffocating like you thought it would be.

He didn’t take it any further than that. “This is enough, for now,” he had said, pressing one last deep kiss against your mouth before disappearing to change. He wasted no time pulling you on top of him and settling down in the bed, his eyes already closed as he dozed off. And even though you had just gotten up, you found yourself following as you breathed in his scent and relished in his arms around you.

You tilt your head up and watch the man sleep. It’s a rare moment to examine his features closely. You never realised how white his eyelashes were, you want to trace the shape of his lips but the man looks so peaceful and you don’t want to ruin it. A dopey smile makes itself on your face.

For now, he had said. Which meant he wanted more.

Your gaze moves around his room, your eyes meet purple ones.

Caleb is sitting in an armchair. He’s wearing his school uniform. Just like he had been the last time you saw him.

He looks so heartbroken. So disappointed. In you.

“You’ll accept his kisses but not mine?” he whispers, eyes glazing with tears. “The man who caused you so much pain? Have you forgotten it already [Name]?”

You open your mouth to speak but you can’t do that anymore. No! You panic, Caleb has no idea about this.

Thinking your silence is your answer, Caleb starts to disappear but not before tearing your heart out. “I wish I had been enough for you,” he gives you a broken smile and he’s gone. Again.

You pull yourself off Sylus, making your way to the balcony. The tears fall then, your mouth opening as you gasp in as much as you can. You can’t rely on yourself to breathe. Caleb was right. How could you forget the suffering you had endured at the hands of the man you laid with last night?

“Name?”

The way he speaks your name with so much concern has you gripping tightly on the railings. Your hand raises in a stop motion when he tries to come near you. He listens but the worry in his eyes makes you nauseous.

[“Do you remember that time you tried to teach me sparring?”]

The man looks confused at your sudden question or why you’re bringing it up in the first place. “Yes,” he responds.

[“Did you know I couldn’t handle your touch in those moments? But I was so sure you’d dispose of me that I kept it to myself?”]

Sylus breaks. You want to stop it there but neither of you can move on until you let him know everything.

[“You scared me so much at that time, that I wished I was back in my cage. It felt like the safer choice.”] You blink away the tears. You’re still not finished.

[“You left me on that mat and I was so desperate for your approval that I thought of ending it all since in your eyes I was a failure.”]

“You…I have never seen you as a failure,” Sylus tries to desperately explain.

[“I thought I would be okay with it. Just being a pawn, a tool to you. But did you have to be so cruel? I planned to leave. No, I desperately wanted to leave. I was counting down the days until two years would pass and then I would pack my bags and just go. I didn’t even care what you would have done if you found out.”] Now you’re finished. When you finally get the courage to look at him, your jaw nearly drops.

Sylus is crying. In a way that seems just like him.

His eyes are filled with tears but only two roll down.

You can’t let it break your resolve.

[“I’m not saying this to hurt you nor do I regret what happened yesterday but you need to know the part you have played in my anguish. We needed to have this conversation and it’s better to do it before anything else happens.”]

You walk past him. He makes no move to stop you.

That had been three days ago.

The ball was in Sylus’s court now. He hasn’t tried to hide how his eyes follow you but you don’t do a thing. It’ll have to be him who makes the first move.

As the twins stare at you in hopes you’ll spill, you give them a teasing smile.

[“$500,000 and I’ll tell you.”]

They simultaneously groan at your response. “You’re too cruel, [Name]”, Kieran fake cries into Luke’s shoulder. Said man rubs Kieran’s back, “There, there, [Name]’s just a big meanie.”

You just laugh and walk to your room.

An hour later, a knock interrupts the silence.

You don’t even get up from your bed. He’ll have to make himself known first.

“It’s Sylus.”

Sylus tries to calm his heart which is adamant on furiously beating itself out of his chest. His hands are shaking from nerves. Nerves! He can’t even remember the last time he has ever felt this nervous.

When you open the door, you steal his breath away. It’s been years living with you yet the sight of your face never fails to catch him off guard. He searches your eyes and face for anything to tell how you’re feeling but you give nothing away. You step aside and give him space to enter. He’s hit with your scent and he contemplates turning it into a perfume, one he’ll spray into his clothes, pillows and anything else he can come up with. The roles have reversed, he thinks, now it’s his first time in your room.

He’s seen it plenty through the cameras that used to be put in your room but he has never entered it.

You walk to the fireplace and sit down in front of it. Not in the chair but on the floor, you pat the space next to you and he listens to the silent command.

“I…,” he tries to speak but his throat feels so dry. He licks his lips and calms down. “I wanted to punish you. Because of the way you made me feel.”

The baffled look on your face should not be that cute. You raise an eyebrow, as if saying ‘Really? That’s your explanation?’

He chuckles. “Do you believe in past lives?”

You nod.

Then he tells you. Of his past and you listen to each word he speaks and every expression he wears. You should feel jealousy at how softly he speaks of his sorceress, of Mara but you don’t. You mimic that softness when it comes to her. It’s the first you’ve heard of their history together, it must have come out after you stopped playing the game.

Your heart clenches at their end. Why must each story end in tragedy? Why won’t fate let them, let her be happy?

I tried…

I’m still trying.

You’re my last hope.

“It doesn’t justify me treating you in that way or does it excuse it,” Sylus stares at you with such intensity.

You look away. Your mind trails off as you try to put yourself in Sylus’s position. If you had such a beautiful love story crafted out and found yourself falling for a stranger in the same way, how would you have reacted?

Worse, you think, I would’ve been worse. The guilt and the realisation that I was betraying the one I love would kill me. It would have slowly eaten me up inside.

He’s right, it doesn’t excuse anything but it does explain a lot. He’s a lot like you in that regard. Neither of you are normal, your lives have shaped you into the disasters you’ve become and as a result no one around you is truly safe. You think of all the people you’ve hurt and you don’t doubt that the list will continue to get longer.

For the first time in all the years you’ve known him, you think you’re finally starting to understand him. When you look back, he’s still staring at you.

[“What’ll you do when you see her again?”] He hears the silent question, will you still feel the same for me?

“I want you both,” he answers. “But it’s different with you. With you I’m more selfish,” his hand comes up to cup your cheek. “I want to keep you chained here with me, I never want you to leave. I love her, yes, but I would be fine if she didn’t want me.” His forehead rests against yours. “I’ll die if you no longer want me. I’m nothing without you.”

Oh.

It’s the first someone has been so raw with you. You buzz at the exhilaration. It should be the normal thing to be jealous that he loves her too, right? Except your mind flashes with scenarios of all the three of you together. Then it shifts until four others join and it feels so right.

Sylus pulls his forehead away. He doesn’t meet your gaze. “Nothing I do or say will make up for what I’ve done,” he closes his eyes. He does not want to finish what he’s saying, you can tell and looking at you won’t help. “Tell me you want to leave and I won’t do a thing. I’ll continue to investigate those scum but you don’t have to stay here anymore. After you get your revenge, we can go our separate ways. I won’t seek you out, I promise. You’ll never see me again. It’s all your choice, now. The choices you should have had from the beginning.”

You think of his earlier confession. In other words, he’ll die. He’s willing to die to atone.

You reach for his hand. Sylus opens his eyes at the contact and he’s greeted by the sight of you playing with his long fingers as you gently smile. It’s not the reaction he was expecting but it’s a small domestic bliss you’ve gifted him. When you notice the awe on his face, you let go of the hand.

[“I’m not leaving. Not now or ever.”]

You don’t get to continue signing when he hunches over in relief. “I could kiss the ground right now,” he mutters. A laugh escapes you, this time it’s actually heard. Red eyes stare in wonder at the noise. It’s everything he wanted and more. Would it be weird for him to save it as a ringtone? No, he thinks, then others will hear it. That can’t happen.

[“I had no idea you could be such an idiot,”] you smile at him. [“I’m not ready to kiss you again. I need some time to process.”] Sylus looks slightly on edge and you think of this conversation, of the honesty shared with you. You can’t deny that he’s trying, which is better than anything you’ve ever done. [“But I don’t think it’ll be long. Just stay like this, let’s be honest with each other.”]

“You the girl?” The man before asks in a gruff voice.

You nod.

He gestures for you to follow him. You can practically see the gears shifting in his head. The deal is taking place in some abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of Linkon City. No one else is around for miles. To him, you’re just some weak girl. To him it’s an opportunity.

There are two other men waiting inside when you enter. Your ears pick up the sounds of two others, in another room, sounds of camera whirring, they’re watching you through them.

Another mission was assigned to you. This was a team of thieves. They were known to cater to a wide variety of the needs that one might have. In other words, they deal with black market goods. Why are you here? Turns out they’ve been using Onychinus’ name to close deals. Considering so much of their “goods” are fakes or in the words Sylus had given you “utterly distasteful”, it wasn’t what he wanted linked to him. You don’t blame him as you look over in barely concealed disgust at the item for sale.

You recognise the odd shape, it closely resembled what you had first thought was a statue in the beginning of the main story. The one in Raymond’s mansion. The man who went insane. At first you had been so confused but as you read online theories and why it happened to him, he deserved it all.

A skeleton of a Lemurian. That was what lay before you. You remember how large the one in Raymond’s mansion had been. This one wasn’t as big. A child. This is a child. They have a child’s dead body crudely crushed into a box.

Even in different worlds, humanities evil will always be constant. Rafayel was right to do what he did.

The man who escorted you scoffs at the look on your face. “You knew what you were getting into,” his hand flicks at your head. “What gives you the right to judge us, missy?”

He falters a little at the deadpan expression you give in response but he looks around and sees that you’re outnumbered and gains the confidence back. He slams down the lid back on the box. “Deals off. But we’ll still collect payment,” he gives you a smile and his eyes flicker down to your chest. You know exactly where he’s going and you’re never going to entertain this.

Blood spatters on your face as the man chokes at the vines around his throat, as numerous pierce right out of him. You don’t even bat an eye as he drops dead. The other two men react surprisingly quickly and rush at you but are stopped in place by vines around their legs. You contemplate on how to end their lives but ultimately decide they don’t deserve your genius and you kill them just like you killed their friend.

A loud clap rings through the now silent room.

You had heard him a while ago. He had been waiting outside with you. Watching your every move.

He looks even more beautiful in person. You understand why he was labelled the face of the game. Wavy indigo hair framing his face, his eyes a mix of blue and pink, unblemished face and skin just begging to be marked.

The developers had done such a good job of making him harmless that you along with many others had fallen for it. Even now as he stands before you, you know you should be a little afraid but all you see is his carefree nature.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here?” he asks. His hand comes up to gently wipe the blood on your face. The heat from the contact has you both gasping, eyes simultaneously widening.

The hold on your face seems to tighten. “Who are you?” his voice deepens in a way you didn’t know was possible. His eyes furrow. “Have we met before?”

You shake your head at him. To be truthful, you don’t know how you should behave around him.

He seems to consider you for a moment but then his eyes flicker around the room, to all the dead bodies. “Seems like you’ve done my job for me, pretty.” They narrow at you. “Why is that?”

You lick your lips, unsure how to respond. Rafayel watches it with an intensity. He was implied to be very old in the game, having lived countless lives you think. But would he know how to sign?

Your hand reaches to clutch the fabric of his sleeve, careful to not touch the skin there. You don’t want a repeat of the earlier electrifying reaction. You tug him towards the box not sure why he follows.

You open the box and show him the contents. He tries to hide his expression but it’s a child. The realisation alone had the contents of your lunch resurfacing, you can’t even begin to think what it must be like for him, to see his people hunted. “I didn’t think it would be this bad,” he whispers. “Did you know?”

You shake your head. Taking a gamble, you sign.

[“I’m just here to kill them.”]

“Can’t speak, huh?” he asks. His eyes narrow at your neck. His hands reach out to grab your neck and even though his face is filled with anger, his touch on your scar is ever so gentle. “I suppose this is the cause.”

Of all people, Rafayel hadn’t been expecting you to be the buyer. He couldn’t even begin to explain the devastation he felt. He went unnoticed as he oversaw the exchange. He won’t admit it but relief flooded his system at the shock on your face at the item for sale, the disgust that followed left him with a sense of elation.

The sight of you covered in the blood of the men you had slaughtered should not be so ethereal. He wants nothing more than to paint it. A painting just for him.

He’s so lost in the anger at the scar around your neck, he fails to notice the bullet heading for him but you do.

You easily manoeuvre yourself so it’ll hit you because you’ll survive but he won’t. It lodges itself right into your abdomen. Rafayel is quick to move towards the assailants, ending the last two men in an instant.

When he returns to your figure, you’ve collapsed on the floor. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how much blood the human body can store. It’s painting the entire floor red. Rafayel places a hand to your pale face, he’s just found and he’s already losing you. “Shit!,” he curses, pulling out his phone, no doubt phoning an ambulance. “Just hold on for me, okay? You still need to tell me your name.”

Given how panicked he is, it’s easy to grasp the phone in his hands and throw it at the wall, shattering it to pieces. You raise a hand to stop his questions. You can feel yourself paralysing, the bullet never made its way out of you, so you’ll have to find it yourself. You reach for the knife tugged into your boot and stab into the gunshot wound. There's no time to inform the man before you, you hold him down with your evol.

Rafayel watches helplessly as you practically tear open your stomach. Every synapse in his brain is screaming to do something. You dig your hand into the wound, looking everywhere for the bullet but you don’t even flinch. He doesn’t know that the pain is excruciating, that even after years of torture you’ve never gotten used to it, you’ve just learnt to live with it.

With a sense of triumph, you finally dig it out. It was stuck inside your intestines, a fatal wound. For anyone not you. But it’ll be a bitch to heal. You’ll be out for a couple of days. Your eyes meet his horror stricken ones. This was not how you wanted a first meeting with him. God, did you traumatise the poor man? He’s the only one who can help you. Black spots have already made their way into your vision, you’re not going to hold on much longer.

[“No hospital. Will heal on…own.”]

As you slump over, your hold on him disappears. He moves quickly and picks you up, not caring as your blood coats him.

He’s going to believe you, just this once.

You can heal at his place.

On his bed.

AN: Hehe, forgive me for the late update. I was going through writer's block for this fic and then my brain came up with two other fic ideas and I couldn't function until I wrote them. Speaking of which please check them out, I'll give you my love in return. Please do not expect me to be reliable when it comes to updates, I try for once a week but I can go weeks without an ounce of creativity :(

I was listening to Once Upon a Dream and the lyrics seemed perfect for the lore I have planned so I had to include them.

I have yet to finish the new story update so please no spoilers! Are we ready for MC reunion next chapter?

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aceecee · 21 days ago

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With Miseria, I can see a new hit up your alley girlll ❤️ As expected it's so well written 🥰

Awww, thank you so much! I'm just finishing off a chapter for my other series then I'll start on Zayne's! I don't know if I'm going to make his dark like Caleb's yet. I'm not sure what direction to take Sylus' one in but Xavier and Rafayel's versions are also going to be brutal. MC's will be soft if we ignore the heavy manipulation she pulls <33

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aceecee · 22 days ago

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You cooked so hard with miseria I actually felt so devastated for reader 😭😭. Free my girl 🥲. I can't wait to read the rest of them, i appreciate that you dont make the reader all infatuated with them when their true colors are shown! You're writing is amazing!

Unfortunately reader is going to go through it with all of them. Only the love interests will get a happy ending here. Thank you for liking the work!!! Hope you like the rest too <333

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aceecee · 23 days ago

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Miseria - Caleb

You really shouldn’t have underestimated them.

Alternatively: Your ex decides you're getting back together. Your consent is not needed!

MC | Zayne | Sylus | Xavier | Rafayel

TW/Tags: breakups, angst, reader is a widow and single mother (so mentions of pregnancy and some sentences on the effects of it but I’m not going deep into it otherwise we’d be here all day), death, loss of a loved one/minor character, grieving, there is a child in this I’m sorry, stalking, plus size reader, suggestive content (16+), forced second chances, small mention of drink spiking, pseudo-incest? (I hated even typing that out but it’s literally part of MC and Caleb’s dynamic), yandere caleb, possessiveness, obsession, implications of child abuse, small mentions of Caleb and MC’s past, sabotage, forced kissing, threats against a pregnant lady (not you), unrequited love, implied future non-con/babytrapping, forced marriage, dead dove do not eat

WC: 14.3K

Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is a yandere work. The character's personalities have become dramatised as a result. This is not what I think of them at all even as yanderes, it's just for pure indulgence. MC in the boys chapters is not the same one in her's, she's just generic but she will always be a friend (not in this one though). This is not a safe space for MC haters. If you don't like any of this then don't read.

Caleb is very out of character in this. I cannot emphasise this enough.

One moment you’re relaxing on your bed - your own way of celebrating that you had aced your job interview and landed your first big job which made those hell years at uni all worth it - the next you’re standing in someone else’s bathroom.

The sudden change leaves you disoriented but even with the room spinning around you, you still take notice of your appearance in the mirror. The air is humid and the mirror itself is foggy. Someone clearly took a shower. That’s when you feel the water drip down from your head, you reach to touch your hair and look in shock at the liquid on your fingertips. It was you that did. The realisation doesn’t make sense. You had just been on your bed, how did you get here?

You reach for the corners of the sink, an attempt to ground yourself, making sure to take deep breaths. It works, you find yourself calming down. The shakiness in your arms starts to disappear and the thundering of your heart slows down to simple rainfall.

Lifting your head back up you concentrate on the woman in the mirror. She looks just like you, the same scars and blemishes adorn her, her mouth creases the same way yours does when you smile, she has every single one of your features. So, then why does she feel like an imposter?

Perhaps it’s the differences you’ve started to notice. You’re not sure of her age but she looks more mature than you. It’s in her eyes, very clear that she had experience you had yet to gain. Her body feels weird too, it’s the exact same as yours though, thick thighs, flabby arms and a round stomach. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this sluggish. She’s exhausted. You lift the pyjama shirt to examine deeper. She has stretch marks, around her thighs, leading up to the stomach and even in the corner of her breasts, just like you did. It happens from excess skin but the marks on her stomach are deeper than they had been on yours.. There’s a scar on the lower stomach, a line. It’s faded but still visible, when you reach to touch it - you don’t feel it much.

Oh.

In a panic, you leave the bathroom desperate to run away and find help. But then the pain comes in your head. You find yourself on your knees clutching your head as you groan in anguish.

Flashes of white hit you, whispers and sensations.

Memories, you realise.

The next time, you wake up on the bedroom floor unsure of how much time has passed.

You’re much calmer this time. You’re not her but you are. She has your name, you’re the same age and have the same birthday but you have lived different lives. You remember every detail of her life even the moment she was born. You remember her happy moments, her sad ones and the ones so painful she bottled them away. You remember that she had fallen in love twice, each one ending in pain. You remember as she discovered her pregnancy and raised a child with the man she continues to love but it’s just her and the child now.

More than that, you’ve realised you’re in a fictional world. One you had grown to love. That had been crafted for the characters you adored in it.

Your favourite had been the purple-eyed childhood friend but as you recall her memories, you want nothing but to pummel him to the ground. Your heart twists with the ache she has memorised in relation to him.

“I don’t understand why I have to go,” you whine to your best friend, wrapping yourself around her.

She throws you off her shoulder. “Because you’re the president!” she tugs at your cheek. “I can’t believe someone so lazy as you was picked!”

Pen is only joking with you. Your vice president is aware that despite your affinity to laze around, you’re the best for the job. The year before you had been chosen, you had created and implemented a program at Skyhaven University. One simple yet invaluable. The name for it was simple, ‘TELL’. Not an acronym. A website focused on anonymity, where students could go and ask for anything. Whether it was advice, or help with winning over a professor or with assignments. Responses would come from students themselves.

The site was heavily monitored and every resource on it was free. The fees required to keep it running were taken care of by the donation you had received from the competition. The one you had entered before when you were still in high school. You had run a similar website back then but on a much smaller scale, only between your class. You documented everything, the good and the ugly. But no one could deny the benefit it brought, in just a few months differences could be seen. Assignments were done with ease, morale was up and your class? You all became so close that you all still regularly meet up.

No one was shocked when you won the competition and that was when you garnered the attention of several universities but the one in Skyhaven paid the best. You sold the idea to them for an amount that would ensure your grandkid’s grandkids would be taken care of. You got a nice scholarship and instant admission into your desired course with the added bonus of taking care of the site until you graduated.

The program had been running for a few months before you started university, so you had attention on you when you did. Your first year had been amazing but no one told you popularity could be so tiring. Only you were shocked to learn you had been elected the president of the student council for the next year.

You didn’t even know there was one. Wasn’t it only a thing in high school?

You had every intention to decline - it was too much work - but Pen had convinced you otherwise. As your oldest friend, she had flashed those puppy eyes at you knowing it would work. She’s an art student, her sculptures are ethereal. As revenge you recommended her for vice president. It backfired because she actually enjoys her job.

It’s 6AM in the morning. You have two hours to set up for the annual orientation day. It’s a day meant for all those who are new. The one you attended last year was dull. That won’t happen this year.

As tradition, all organisations have a booth but you had personally collaborated with each one to ensure everything would go smoothly, making recommendations to tweak their set up. There was already buzz about the event due to the meticulous posters that you commissioned an actual graphic designer for and not the sweet but very tired/underpaid receptionist who had simply slapped the words ‘Orientation Day’ in a fancy font and called it a day. There will be a variety of food stands, suitable for all diets. There was a stage where clubs were welcome to show off their talents and so much more. The hope was that the event would last the entire day with the goal of collecting donations.

You spend the next two hours simply going around and making sure everything is organised.

When the time on your watch shows 7:58AM, you and Pen wait with bated breath. “It’ll be okay,” she assures you. You nod back.

To your relief students flood the area right on time. “There’s so many of them,” Pen whispers to you in awe. The two of you grin at each other. It would be nice to set a precedent.

It was the longest he had been away from her. The two of them had a tearful goodbye before he boarded the train to Skyhaven. Even with his friends chatting his ear off as they make their way through the crowd to the stage, all he can think about is her.

Is she eating okay? Does she miss him as much as he misses her?

He hopes the answer is yes.

His thinking is cut off by the sudden lights on the stage. A figure steps on the stage.

“Welcome to Orientation Day, everyone!” the girl speaks normally into the mic with a bright grin on her face.

Cheers erupt all around him but all he can focus on is the girl.

You’re wearing a simple white shirt with the logo of the university and blue jeans. The only accessory is the watch on your wrist. Such simple clothing yet you make it look priceless. You introduce yourself. He watches as you explain the event and as you lay out all activities available. He drinks in your laugh, your smile and any mannerisms.

After telling everyone to relax and have fun, you walk off the stage. He keeps his gaze on your figure until you disappear into the crowd. A nudge to his side demands his attention.

“Pretty, isn’t she?” Gideon asks him.

“Huh…?” he clears his throat. “...I guess.”

It just might be the biggest lie he’s told. You’re unlike anything he’s ever seen but shame eats him up inside at the thoughts. How could he easily forget her, even if just for a moment?

Gideon rolls his eyes. “Whatever, man. You never find anyone attractive.”

It’s true. All his life his attention has only been on one woman. He’s never even glanced at another simply walking by, never cared for any of the celebrities his friends go crazy over so what changed now?

He brushes it off. It’s just a one time thing, he soothes himself. You’ll never see her again.

Not even ten minutes later he’s face to face with you.

“What did you want to sign up for?” you ask him with a smile. The words and gesture don’t mean anything to you, you’ve been repeating it to those looking to sign up for the activities available but the simple act might just be his ruin.

You can’t help the amusement shining in your eyes as the boy in front of you struggles to speak. His ears are tinted pink as he realises it too. You give him a patient smile and look him over. You’re not one to care much for romance despite the line of suitors you’ve acquired (yeah, you’re not humble about it either) but the boy is cute. The bright rays of the sun bring attention to all the freckles on his face. It takes everything to not lose yourself in his eyes, the purple a shade that reminds you of the same galaxies you had ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ over as a child. You’re sure if you search deep in them, you’ll find speckles of gold resembling the stars.

Over the years, you’ve found that you don’t really have a type. On the rare occasions you happen to develop a crush - which never seem to last more than a week - each person had been different. You’ve met a variety of people over the course of your life but none have captured your interest this quick. Or even managed to make your heart beat fast like he was.

His friend throws an arm around his shoulder. “We’d like to join the basketball game happening,” the friend grins at you while the other boy looks away.

You pick up the tablet and bring up the list. “Sure, I’ll need your names.”

“I’m Gideon and this is Caleb. You’ll have to excuse my friend here, he’s shy,” Gideon reaches up to ruffle Caleb’s hair. Said man groans and swats his hand away.

“All done! I hope you enjoy yourselves today,” it shouldn’t please you so much as both of them fluster at the smile you send them. “My contact details are on TELL if you ever need help with anything.” You have to say this to all new students as the president but this is the only occasion where you hope it happens.

Becoming all too aware of the long line behind them, the two boys walk away but not before Caleb takes one last glance at you, one that you don’t see. Which might be a good thing since you don’t see the dark expression he wears as you converse with another man with the same smile you had given him.

A few months go by after that. Orientation day had been successful. Even though they had been optional, the donations received should fund the TELL website for an extra year and should still have some leftover.

The boy with the name Caleb takes refuge in the back of your mind and refuses to leave. It’s frustrating pining over a man you met once and it’s so unlike you. There’s nothing you can do about the need to see him again as the second year of your course only gets more complicated and your other responsibilities only add to the stress you’re slowly accumulating. Any free time is gone and your precious sleep was the first to be compromised, something that leaves you different. Gone is the laid back girl you used to be, you’ve been replaced with someone who snaps at the smallest thing. Your relaxed smile has been switched with a frown. You’ve become your worst enemy.

A grump.

The changes in you have started to affect those around you as well. You still feel guilty that you had shouted at Pen over a small mistake, you had apologised like crazy straight after but Pen hadn’t even been mad. Instead she fretted over you, asking if everything was alright. You don’t deserve her but her concern was valid.

You detest shouting. In the decade you’ve been friends, Pen has never seen you raise your voice, not even once.

“[Name], they’re expecting too much from you,” she had held you in her arms as you cried. “How the fuck do they expect one person to do all this?” That was when she had gotten angry, when she looked over your bullet points of everything you had to get done before the month was over. Again, you don’t deserve her.

After confiding in her a little more and with lots of reassurances from her that you weren’t weak for “giving up”, you held a meeting with the rest of the student body. They agreed to shoulder some of the responsibility for you and for the first time in months, you slept through the whole night. Have you mentioned you don’t deserve Pen?

It took a while for you to go back to your original self but no one could deny the ease that rolls off you now. The magnetic pull in you that draws in anyone within radius.

As president, another thing you had to do was keep up appearances. If students and staff don’t actively see for themselves you running around, then it doesn’t matter how much you accomplish, they’ll label you as lazy. So, the fact that you’ve been cooped up inside for the last few months wasn’t ideal.

Luckily an easy fix is something that happens every night without fail. Parties. The campus guidelines state that no parties can be held on the grounds without a member of the student council present.

You volunteered for the one tonight and Pen offered to join as well. Since you’re on supervising duty, you can’t drink anything. Which is probably for the best, the president before you ended up getting spiked and shoved into a closet so the rest of the party could let loose. Such extensive measures weren’t needed, you were all meant to be there so the university could look good, not actually intervene.

Your eardrums might just rupture from the loud bass music playing as you and Pen approach the building. There are people lingering outside on the lawn, groups talking to each other and some failing to walk straight. They all greet you as you pass by and you respond to each.

A drink is shoved in your hands as soon as you enter. “Drink with us Prez!” a drunk boy yells at you. You raise the plastic cup to your lips and pretend to take a sip, the boy cheers completely unaware of your trickery. As a formality you remind him to be careful and walk away, dumping the cup on a random table.

Pen gives you a subtle nudge. “That guy’s been staring at you since you entered,” she gives a quick nod in a direction. Your gaze moves to the area and you halt as your eyes meet violet ones. The block you had put up in an attempt to ignore how those eyes made you feel collapses in on itself. Heat creeps down your body and settles down between your thighs at the intensity of his gaze.

Caleb did not want to go to the party. His resolve didn’t weaken no matter how much Gideon begged him. Normally he would be down but he had an early class and the material was important. All Gideon had to say was that you would be there for Caleb to change his mind. To his frustration, Gideon had caught onto Caleb’s…whatever it was he had with you and he never failed to remind him of it.

Caleb had only seen you once after your first meeting. You didn’t notice him, too busy trying to get to your destination but he took notice of you. Of your exhausted state. He felt the need to stop you and demand why you looked so fatigued. He wanted nothing more than to usher you back to bed with force if needed but instead he willed himself to walk away.

Over the last few months he had a mental list forming in his head with every single detail he learnt about you. Any information learnt came from the mouth of others. You are spectacular, shining so brightly amongst them all. He should stay away, he knows that, but he can’t. He’ll apologise for it later.

Because he knows it won’t last.

It feels like eternity waiting for you to arrive. He watches the clock and counts every second. Numerous people come up to him but he pays attention to none. They all wonder why his gaze keeps drifting to the entrance. When you enter, his eyes are on you. He downs the beer in his hand and crushes the cup in his hand at the way you look. You don’t notice the desire in the eyes of all those who greet you, their every action tainted with corruption.

You’re wearing a simple black dress that ends at your thighs. Nothing extravagant or noteworthy. Except for the fact that it’s you wearing it. The dress moves up slightly with every step you take and he can see the safety shorts underneath. He doesn’t know you wore them to prevent any chafing or that you rubbed baby powder in your inner thighs just in case. You’re wearing shoes with a short heel, for practicality reasons he’s sure but he can’t help appreciate how well they compliment your legs.

You look much better than you did the last time. Well rested and more put together. Part of him is glad for it and the other disappointed that it had not been him who helped you.

The redhead that has been by your side tries to subtly tell you about him but he notices. He has plenty of time to look away and pretend otherwise but instead he keeps his gaze with you. Caleb delights in the way your eyes widen, just a little. You turn to whisper something in your friend’s ear, she nods at you and walks away and in turn you approach him.

“Caleb, right?” you ask him. He doesn’t know that you don’t need an answer and you don’t know that you’ve ignited something in him simply by saying his name. Your lips covered in a shiny gloss look so pretty when they say his name.

“Yeah.”

You join him and lean against the wall. You don’t look at him, instead looking around the room and surveying all the people. “How have you been so far?” It’s a question you have to ask everyone, he’s aware of it but he’ll take whatever you can give. He sighs, leaning his head back up against the wall, gaze on the ceiling. “It’s been stressful,” he drops his head back down and looks at you. “-but nothing I can’t handle.”

You smile at him in response.

“What course are you doing, Prez?” he asks you.

“Computer Science.”

When you don’t receive a reply, you look at the tall man beside you only to find him staring at you in slight shock.

“Pfft,” you can’t help but laugh at his expression. “I’m guessing you too, huh?”

He nods, his voice far too weak from your laugh to function. Pride settles in him, he made you laugh.

“Do you have Mr Wrestly as well?”

At the name he can’t help but let out an involuntary groan which only makes you laugh harder. “He picks on me all the time. I don’t think he likes me very much,” seeing him pout only makes him more endearing to you.

“Yeah, he did it to me too. I felt so stupid every single time until I learnt that he only does it to those who show potential,” you reassure him. His eyes light up at your words. “Really?” He reminds you of a puppy right then and there, one who you’ve just given a bone. “Really,” you confirm.

You understand his reaction, getting a hit after another to your intelligence was not a fun experience. “But still, I’m glad I don’t have him this year.”

It’s silent for a while.

“So…,” he starts and trails off. “-that means you’re graduating this year, right?”

“Yup.”

Truth be told you’ve been trying not to think about it. The future seems so scary, especially since you have no plans in motion. Right now all you have is to apply to some internships and go from there.

“I don’t really see you as a CompSci major,” you admit to him.

“It gives you extra credits for the Aerospace Academy,” he informs.

“Ah. I can definitely see you as a pilot.”

There’s a childlike wonder in his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve wanted to be one since I was a kid.”

Your finger reaches up and traces the outline of his collarbone through his shirt, his breath catches in his throat. You make a point to not return his gaze, only doing so when you utter your next words. “It’s a good thing you’ve got someone who can share all her notes,” you pause. “As long as you’re good.”

His hand moves fast to capture your finger, you give a soft tug giving up when his hold tightens in response. His head moves closer to yours, until you can feel his breath mingling with yours.

“Oh, really?” it comes out as a whisper but his voice has deepened. There’s a slight smirk painted on his lips and his eyes are dark and hooded as they rest on you.

“Really.”

He tugs you into some empty room, shutting the door behind him. His lips are on you before you can say a word. The two of you lose yourself in the other. You have more experience so you lead but he’s a fast learner. In a sudden move you pull away from him, making sure to keep a distance. He looks a little dumbfounded at your change in attitude.

“I can taste the alcohol in your mouth, Caleb. How much have you had to drink?” you ask him gently. He chuckles - despite the relief that it wasn’t because you regret it - and his arms wrap around you before he pulls you to him. “Not even enough to feel buzzed,” he nuzzles his head into your shoulder.

“Hmm,” you contemplate. “I’m still not taking any chances.” You want to concede when the man lifts his head up and pouts. “If you’re serious then kiss me again when you don’t have anything in your system.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Caleb finds you again on day two after the party. It would’ve been one but he didn’t want to seem desperate. He waits for you outside the building of your class, not saying a single word as he approaches. All he does is kiss you.

Neither of you have any experience with relationships. You think you might have been moving too fast but it should be okay, right? You two feel so strongly about the other and that isn’t for no reason. Any doubts are shoved away.

A month goes by and life is nice.

You’ve hosted more events for the university and each of them have done well. Some could’ve been better however you’re determined to not let it ruin your mood instead using them as a learning experience.

Caleb and you are still navigating your relationship.

You live in a one bedroom apartment off campus. Any free time he has, Caleb spends it there. He never spends the night. He’s determined to change that.

You have a research paper due in a week. Normally you would do it the day before while panicking as if you didn’t put yourself in that situation. You can’t do that this time, you’ll be busy then. Caleb lounges on your bed as you sit by your desk.

It’s silent. The only sounds are from your keyboard or the odd rustling of pages moving. You don’t notice the silent plotting brewing in the man’s head.

“It’s nearly 8pm,” he tells you. “I should head back.”

You give a hum in response, flicking your hand up to say goodbye.

Caleb knows how you can get when you’re focused so he doesn’t take it to heart. Your ears pick up the sound of him getting up from the bed. He lets out a small sigh. You don’t say anything. He finds his socks on the floor and puts one on with another sigh. You don’t say anything. He puts the other on and sighs again, this time a little louder. You don’t say anything. His eye twitches, he grabs his shoes and puts them on with a big sigh. You don’t even move.

“Yup. I’m going back to the dorms because my girlfriend hates me.”

You swivel around in your chair and stare at him with a deadpan expression. He bats his eyelashes at you.

Your lips quirk in amusement. “Why don’t you just stay the night, Caleb? You’ll be back here in the morning anyway,” you play along, giving in to him. But your heart is light as his expression changes. He kicks off his shoes and plops back down on the bed.

Thinking everything is dealt with, you turn back around only for a hand to clench around your chair and pull it towards the bed. “Wha-” you jump in surprise. An arm pulls you and you land on your back on the bed. The perpetrator hovers above you with a satisfied smirk. The second your lips begin to move, kisses are being peppered onto your face, an effective way to shut you up.

His lips are on yours. The kiss is different from the others you’ve shared. This one is slow as he takes his time, savouring every moment. His hands reach to tug your hoodie and he pulls his mouth away. You’re both breathing hard. His hand digs into your bed sheets as he tries to restrain himself. The air around you has changed, growing thick from the tension. He doesn’t say anything but you hear the question. You nod. Any control he has is gone as he recaptures your lips in a frenzy.

The next day you wake up from light traces all over your body. Your joints ache and your shoulder and neck throb from the markings. You’re bundled up in his arms. Caleb smiles at you when he sees you’re awake, leaning in close to plant a kiss on your forehead. You can’t say a word back. Not when he looks at you like that.

Like you’re everything he’s ever needed.

You and Pen are closer than ever. She’s one of the most important people in your life so you introduce Caleb to her. The dinner seemed to have gone well. You brushed off any awkwardness, deeming it an occurrence of a first meeting.

Except before she had left, Pen had pulled you away to speak privately.

“Just be careful with that guy,” she warns you. “I know I shouldn’t judge without reason but something about him seems…off.”

“You know me, Pen. First sign of trouble and I run,” you smile in an attempt to comfort her. She gives you a weak one back. “I know you can take care of yourself but you’re different with him.” You look at her in confusion. She takes a deep breath, unsure if she should continue but for your sake she does. “You like him [Name], a lot. No…I think you love him. I-I just don’t see this ending well and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

While you’re too busy spiralling over her words, especially as they ring true, she watches you. What she doesn’t say is that your biggest weakness will always be the way you love. Platonic or not. It’s rare for you to get attached to a person but when you do, it’s intense. Not in an overbearing way but because you kept your heart in a cage and you’d only let in those who you deemed worthy. After that you would love freely, thinking everything would be okay, not realising that people can change or that they might’ve been lying to you from the start.

She’d been by your side (and you her’s) through all your friendship breakups, she saw the way you grieved the loss. The sheer anguish you felt would leave her paralysed. But you had never fallen in love romantically before. Pen doesn’t think she could handle how it would affect you. It just might kill her.

She doesn’t know if shining a light on your feelings had the effect she wanted.

And it doesn’t.

You ignore her warning, Caleb hasn’t given you a reason to doubt him. All the conversation did was make you realise how deep your feelings ran. You itch to say it to him but at the same time something holds you back.

The topic of family comes up one night. You don’t go into much detail about yours, alluding to the fact that your home life wasn’t the best. Thankfully he doesn’t push for more. He tells you about his adoptive sister, how they grew up together and that he cares for her a lot.

What you don’t know about is the turmoil inside Caleb’s head. When he’s with you, he forgets all about her. He doesn’t think about what she’s doing and if everything is alright. He doesn’t forget you when he’s with her. You’re always there in his heart, mind and soul. But then his phone will ping with a message from her while he’s watching a movie with you, asking why he hasn’t been responding. In those moments, he thinks he’ll drown in the shame and guilt and then you look his way and give that angelic smile he adores. He wonders how long he can do this for.

It’s now nearly the end of the year. He’s gone back home while you remain in Skyhaven during your last break in the school year. His family doesn’t know he’s dating you, Caleb sneaks away when you call. It all comes to an end when she pulls him away with a confession.

“I feel like you’ve been distant, Caleb,” her eyes shine with unshed tears. His body moves on its own to cup her face. “What do you mean, Pipsqueak?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” she struggles to even ask the question. All he can do is wrap his arms around her and say no.

His resolve to end things washes away when you’re waiting for him at the train station. You smile and hug him. She’s forgotten again. It’s an endless cycle.

One that you end up breaking.

He’s standing before a bright green tree, waiting for you. Your tree. The one you went to for peace. The one you had shared with him.

“Surprise!” a figure jumps on him. He recognises the voice. He’s too caught up in the joy to feel dread.

You see the distant figure of your boyfriend. A smile breaks onto your face as you walk faster but you halt when another figure runs towards him. She jumps at him and he catches her with ease. You see it all.

The way he looks at her. How easily she jumps into his arms and he returns it with a serene smile. The emotions and love you thought had been reserved for you are being displayed. In that moment you remember Pen’s warning. Your heart twists as you realise she had been right. How did she see it before you?

You feel so humiliated. It had been right in front of you. How he would always excuse himself to answer her call, no matter the situation. How soft he was when he’d talk about their childhood together. That ugly necklace that was constantly around his neck.

Your steps are slow as you walk up to them. They turn to look at you and Caleb jolts. “[Name]!” He knows it’s over when he sees the look in your eyes. His heart is beating so fast he can hear it drumming in his ears.

Thinking you’re a simple friend, she reaches her hand out and introduces herself. For a split second you want to hate her. But it’s not her fault. You return the handshake and introduce yourself.

“Hey, pips? Why don’t you wait for me in the cafeteria? I need to talk to [Name].”

Unaware of the tension in the air, she agrees and leaves but not before letting you know it was nice to meet you.

You don’t say a word, waiting for an explanation.

“I’m sorry.”

The guilt on his face means nothing to you, not anymore. Caleb’s hands twitch, he wants nothing but to beg for forgiveness. To get on his knees and promise his devotion. But the blank look on your face has him frozen.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did you even date me?” you speak the words with a venom he’s never heard before. “Was I just a distraction?” you continue.

“Wha-No! You were never a-”

“Or was I meant to stop others from realising you have feelings for your own fucking sister?”

“I didn’t tell anyone we’re dating.”

“Oh! Even better. But you can’t even deny your feelings for her are true.”

“I’m sorry.”

You let out a cold laugh. “You already said that. I want an explanation.”

But he can’t give it to you. He doesn’t have the answer himself. So, you’ll force them out.

“Choose.”

He looks at you in alarm.

“Me or her? Pick one.”

You already know the answer but you need to hear it. Even if by some miracle he chooses you, you’ll never pick him. Never again.

Flashes of images go through his head. Of her laying on the cold floor with no heartbeat. The fear in her eyes. The anger coursing through him. Their shared cries and pain.

“It’ll always be her.”

His face stings from the force of your slap. He welcomes the pain, it’s what he deserves.

“You’re a coward, Caleb.” You take a step closer. “A weak, pathetic, coward.”

It’s you who physically walks away. You’re numb as you do. All you can focus on is that…

He ruined your tree. Ruined your peace.

Caleb returns to her with a fake grin plastered on his face. No one notices the trembling in his hands or the slight shakiness in his voice.

You don’t see each other for the rest of the school year. In public you’re the same as always but in private you break down. You have no words to describe how you feel. One day you had been so mad that you ripped all the photos you had taken with him. The next you cried over the discarded paper.

Pen is the only one who knows you’re a mess. She tries her best to comfort you.

“[Name] our final exams are next week,” she cradles your head in her hands. “You can’t let him dull your shine. Not now.”

They’re not the words you want to hear but the ones you need.

You bottle up your emotions after that. Keeping the lid shut tight.

You ace your exams and graduate. Happy to never see this place again. Once it had been home to you but now everything about it was tinted with him.

You’re completely unaware as purple eyes watch you in the crowd as you accept your degree and give a speech. How they drink in your smile, laugh and mannerisms. How they are laced with regret.

Even if you did, you wouldn’t care. Not anymore.

Back in the present, you’ve lifted yourself off the floor and have sat down on the bed as you process your(?) memories. The clock on the nightstand reads 3:00AM.

The emotions your other self had years to process are now raw within you. You’re not sure if the shakiness of your body is from the rage simmering inside or the tears making their way down your face.

It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your comfort character had done all this. Bile rises in your throat, suddenly you feel so disgusted in yourself. You feel used.

The toilet flushes and you turn on the fans in the bathroom to get rid of the smell of vomit. With slow steps you make your way to the bedroom. You look over the decorations and the size of it. At least in this life you’re rich.

You don’t know what to make of this situation. You can no longer delude yourself that it is all a dream. It’s your new reality. You want to go back home. Back to your old life. It wasn’t the best but it also wasn’t this shitshow.

For fucks sake, you have a kid!

You don’t know the first thing about raising a child! All you have are your memories, you’re overtaken by panic.

You leave the bedroom. The hallways are dark but you don’t bother turning the lights back on. You have the floorplan mapped in your head. You take a couple steps right to avoid a table and find yourself standing before a room. Stickers decorate the door. Sparkles and glitters. There’s a big sign on the door. ‘EVE’ is all it says. She had decorated it herself as best as a two-year old could.

You slowly turn the door handle and peek inside. There’s a small frame bundled on the bed. You can see the rise and fall of her chest even under her blanket. The sight of her fills you with peace. All panic is forgotten.

You know exactly where to step so the floorboard doesn't creak. You settle down onto the bed with her, pulling her to your chest. She doesn’t awaken but instead rests deeper into your chest. You caress her head. Maybe this life isn’t so bad after all.

At age twenty you had graduated and found yourself stuck. You had done a bunch of internships after but none stuck with you. One day you had been on the bus, dozing off when you overheard a conversation between two school girls. One of them made an off hand comment about how annoying it was to have so many apps for different things. It didn’t come to you straight away but the girl’s comment stayed with you for a while.

It should’ve been hard to get investors but the reputation you had gained from TELL had been your saviour. Plenty of interest was shown. The first person you brought on was Pen. A way to pay back the friendship and support she had always shown you. She became the lead designer for the app interface.

It’s how Moment’s was born. It’s weird that you designed the very app used to communicate with the love interests themselves.

It’s also how you met him.

Elijah Kennedy.

One of your investors.

You didn’t care for him much at first.

He was attractive, tall with blonde hair and the most majestic brown eyes you’d ever seen, especially under the sunlight. You never really paid much attention to him, all he was is a means to an end. Elijah wasn’t your type, too stoic for your taste. But then, during a meeting he accidentally let slip that he found you pretty and his face got so red. He spluttered on his drink and tried but failed to rectify the situation.

Unlike Caleb who had made your heart beat fast, Elijah made it stutter.

Something changed between you two after that. It was quiet and subtle. Suddenly he was asking you more personal questions and you found yourself answering them. Your meetings started taking place over dinner. Light touches that lingered.

Until one day he tried to ask you on a date but stuttered so much he couldn’t even get the words out. With a teasing smile, you had asked the question for him.

You told him the truth then. That you had been hurt so bad you don’t think you could take a chance again. Elijah confided in you about his ex-girlfriend, who had cheated, in return. Maybe it's because you saw kinship in the other but the rest of the night was spent laying bare all your hurt. It had been therapeutic for Elijah, who felt he would be looked down upon for being so upset, and you, who had to bottle everything up just so you could function.

You didn’t date right away. A friendship started first. Your relationship built slowly. When you two first shared a kiss, it felt so right. Then you went on a date and started dating. After a year, you got married. Pen ended up being your maid of honour. She gave you her approval for Elijah a month into dating and you’ve learnt to listen to her.

Shortly after the honeymoon, you found yourself in the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test. Your hands shook as you stared down at the stick, anxiety pooling in your gut. It was too fast. It was all happening too fast.

You’d learnt nothing from the last time and here you are repeating the same mistakes.

When Elijah finds you on the bathroom floor and tries his best to reassure that everything will be okay, that he’s not going anywhere, the feeling never goes away.

Not even during the pregnancy, or after you gave birth and even when you celebrated Eve’s first birthday. It disappeared when you got the news that your Elijah had been in a car accident. Dead on arrival.

You had been right.

Why did you have to be right?

Eve’s two now, it’s been a year since his passing. It’s a weird sensation to grieve someone so hard yet still feel like they’re a stranger. You sniffle into your daughter’s blonde hair, a few tears escape.

Around the time you had been grieving your husband, you received an email. It had been from her. An invitation to a funeral. There was a line of text at the bottom, ‘He would want you there.’

You didn’t go.

The sound of the doorbell drums through the house.

You don’t get up.

It rings again.

And again.

Until you finally move out of frustration.

She looks concerned at your state. She’s wearing simple clothing, not a hair out of place. While your eyes are bloodshot from all the crying, your skin dry from the salty tears. Everything about your appearance is a mess. Not that you even care.

But you recognise the look in her eyes. She’s a mess just like you, only on the inside.

Neither of you say a word. With a roll of your eyes, you open the door for her and walk inside. The house too, is a mess. Eve’s toys are littered all over the floor of the living room, you grab a basket and start dumping them back in there.

She lingers at the large family photo. “I-I knew you were doing very well for yourself. There was no mention of you getting married or…that you have a child.”

“Yeah? Well, he died too. That’s two for two now. I just might be cursed,” you chuckle darkly as you throw Poppy the Unicorn a little too harshly into the basket. You’ll need to apologise later or Eve won’t be happy.

You feel her gaze on you as you move around the room, trying to clean whatever you could.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea. I think I should just go,” she turns to leave.

“Wait,” at your command she looks back. “Just say what it is you want to and then go,” you gesture at the couch. “Besides it’s not like my day can get any worse,” you mutter softly but she still hears every word.

You sit before her, arms crossed and wait for her to speak.

“I came to apologise.”

Her words shock you.

“Really? I thought you came to yell at me for missing the funeral.”

“No!” her eyes widened in alarm. It’s a comical sight, one that might have made you laugh once. “It’s my fault. I’m the reason it all happened. Back then, I felt him pull away so I asked if he had a girlfriend. I didn’t know he actually did. It never occurred to me that he would ever get one.”

“It’s not your fault nor did I ever blame you for anything,” you wave her off. You can tell from her expression that the answer isn’t enough. “You were a child who didn’t know any better. He went from being around every day to being gone for months. It would’ve been hard to adjust for anyone. Any blame is on him. He should have never gotten in a relationship with me when he loved you.”

The last sentence doesn’t shock her.

“Huh. When did you realise?”

“I think I always knew,” she looks down at her hands, twiddling her fingers. “I just…forced myself to ignore it. I’ve never seen him in that way and I don’t really think he did either.” Her head is back up at you but there’s a fire in her eyes now. “I didn’t just come here to apologise. I need to tell you something.”

That gets your attention. You motion for her to continue.

“His feelings for you were real. After you graduated, something in him changed. He still took care of me the same but the intent was gone. Like it was an obligation. I think he realised it was meant to be for you but by then it was too late. He started seeing me as a sister only. He wasn’t even phased when I got my first boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“I know,” she smiles weakly. “It’s selfish of me to unload this on you, especially with what you’re going through currently but I had to. For him.”

There’s some more silence.

“What’s your daughter’s name?”

“We named her Eve.”

She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“What?”

“It just doesn’t sound like a name you would pick.”

“It was Elijah’s grandmother’s name. She raised the man I came to love. It was the least I could do.”

The two of you make small talk for a while before a ping on her phone reminds her of her other plans. She bids you goodbye.

You stay on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.

Then the tears fall and you wail.

Your other self was too nice. Caleb didn’t deserve her grief especially since you know he’s still alive.

You have no idea when you drifted off but the feeling of small hands on your face is what wakes you up. Sunlight trickles through the curtains. Brown eyes stare back at you. Eve blinks before breaking out into a huge grin now that you’re up. “Awake?’ she asks.

You kiss her on the forehead. “Awake,” you confirm. “Hungry?” you ask back. It was a daily ritual. She nods. You lift her off the bed and enter the bathroom. She has school today. It’s easy to fall back into your other self’s routine. Every action you take is so natural that it keeps messing with your head. With no issue you enjoy your breakfast with your daughter and drive her to school. She gives you a hug goodbye and you’re left alone again. You don’t have work and you’re in the mood to be outside so the only plans you have is to sleep.

There’s a white box with a ribbon waiting on your doorstep when you arrive. A card is tucked into the ribbon. You bring the box inside.

You’ll need this

Those are the only words written on the card. You flip it over and read the words over and over again but nothing changes. They seem so certain but you’re more shocked at how calm you are.

Inside the box is a silk dress, a shade of emerald green. You run your fingers over the material, it’s beautiful yet simple. Just the way you like it.

The normal thing would be to experience panic in this situation but it never comes. It doesn’t make any sense. You should feel something yet you don’t.

A melody rings through the silence. Something in your pocket vibrates. It’s your phone. You recognise the caller ID, it’s Pen.

You pick up the call, neither of you bothers with trivial greetings.

“We’ve been invited to an event,” her tone is off.

“I’m not going. They’re all the same.”

“Normally I wouldn’t argue but you can’t decline this one [Name].”

“Why?”

“It’s the annual Skyhaven gala. The one where all the important figures attend. People from the Farspace Fleet, military leaders and any important political figure. It’d be social suicide not to go.”

Your gaze settles on the box. “Pen, was it you who sent the dress?” it’s a shot in the dark but it just might land.

“What dress?”

You sigh. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Nothing. I just forgot I ordered one,” you divert. Pen already dealt with so much of your shit, she’s married now too and four months pregnant. She doesn’t need the extra stress.

“Oh, okay. Come visit me later and bring my niece!”

As Pen’s voice drones off on the phone, your eyes remain on the box. You still feel nothing about the situation.

Maybe because you recognise the handwriting.

It feels like deja vu once again as his eyes continue to glance at the entrance.

He has to be careful not to give it away but he can’t deny how nervous he feels at the chance that he’ll see you again.

It took him far too long to realise how deep he had fallen for you. His entire life has revolved around her, just the way he foolishly thought he wanted. It wasn’t until you entered his life that he saw a different path. But he had been too blinded by the role he forced upon himself to notice. After all she had been through, the least he could do was ensure a good life for her. Everything was her, her, her…

But as she grew up, she needed him less and less. He tried so hard to hold on unaware that he was suffocating them both in the process. Then, you came in and slowly his grip loosened. It was entirely his fault that he had been too much of a coward to let go. You had been right to call him one.

Caleb can’t begin to imagine the pain and suffering his actions caused you. All of it made worse by the fact that he knew it would end that way, yet he let it happen.

He’s missed you so much these last few years. You were in everything. The warm rays of the sun reminded him of the way you would glow under the sun’s embrace. The moon made him reminisce of all the times you would take him stargazing. He saw parts of you in everyone. Your smile. Frown. Laugh.

It was the betrayal on your face he saw before the explosion. Memories of kissing you were what he held onto as he healed. The sensation of your hand clasped in his would make him cry at the arm he lost. Even now, as the chip whirs in his head, you’re the reason he hasn’t lost himself. You’re why he’s still holding on. He needs you, you’ve become his salvation.

Caleb can no longer give you a choice in the matter.

Not when you had moved on. You kept your personal life private but as the Colonel it was easy for him to access any information on you. He’s glad your…husband (he struggles to even think the word) died, one less thing for Caleb to take care of.

Then you walk in.

You’re a little taller now. Even when you’re all dressed up, he can see the exhaustion in your eyes. Taking care of a baby all by yourself can’t be easy. His eyes flicker down to your body, you’re not wearing the dress. He expected it but his gloved hand still clenches by his side.

You don’t notice him. But others notice you. They swarm around you like parasites and he can see it’s all making you overwhelmed. Your eyes dart around, trying to find someone you knew and that's when they meet his.

He had expected you to be surprised to see him but you remain unphased. Not a single hint as to what you’re thinking is shown. It’s frustrating. This wasn’t how he wanted the evening to go.

You don’t make a move, not a single step either towards or away from him. Your gaze slips away from him as you bury yourself in another meaningless conversation.

It feels like hours have passed before you can catch a breath. You leave the floor quickly before anyone else can interrupt, heading for the upstairs floor. To your luck it’s empty. You take refuge in one of the terraces, counting the minutes until you could go home. You miss Eve. She’d been left with a babysitter, who texted you hourly updates.

The setting of the sun distracts you from your thoughts. The sky a blend of orange, purple and pink. Beautiful.

“Did you not like the dress?”

You hadn’t heard him at all. You don’t turn around to see his face.

“It was hideous.”

His steps indicate that he’s right next to you. You hear his clothes rustle as he rests his hand on the railings, just like you are. To think that the sight of him in the uniform used to be so enticing and now he’s standing before you. He’s real. You can feel the warmth radiating off his body. Yet all you feel is fear.

“I’ll do better next time,” his gaze digs. It’s like a flashlight shining on your face, when all you can do is look away to avoid going blind.

“There better not be a next time.” Your body moves on its own. Your hand grasps hard on his upper arm. His breath hitches when he feels your touch. It’s been so long. It’s not enough.

You dig your nails further into the material, not caring that it does nothing. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

You don’t see the way his eyes harden at the gold ring around your finger.

You release his arm and storm off.

Shivers run through you as you feel him watch you leave.

You know this isn’t the last time.

A week goes by.

And you spend it on edge every single day. Your paranoia gets the better of you. You call and let Eve’s school know you’re going on a trip so she won’t be in. You do the same for work. The two of you spend it at home.

You can’t keep this up for long. Soon, questions will start being asked. Yet the fear of running into Caleb again leaves you paralysed.

A phone call from your assistant comes as soon as the weekend is over. Her voice is laced with panic as she begs you to come in. There’s a huge issue with the app.

You have no choice but to call the babysitter on short notice, promising to pay extra for the emergency.

Pen is waiting for you when you enter. She gives you a guilty smile. “If it wasn’t urgent we wouldn’t have cut your vacation short,” she says as you walk to your office.

“It’s fine.” It’s not. “What happened that’s so bad you had to call me?”

You gesture for her to sit on your chair. It’s far more comfortable for a pregnant woman. You sit on one of the armchairs opposite. Not as nice but the exhale Pen gives out of relief is worth it. You make a mental note to order a chair just like it for her office. And to get better armchairs.

She plops a file on the desk. “What isn’t happening? Something is wrong with the servers but we’re slowly managing it. I have to go pee every second, I don’t know how you did this. But the real issue is that the app keeps crashing. Something’s wrong with the code but no matter how much we dig, we can’t find it.”

You sigh and lean back into the chair. Your hand comes up to drag down your face. “How much have we lost?”

She doesn’t answer.

“That bad?”

She pauses and mouths ‘worse’ at you.

Great.

“Your phone’s been ringing all morning too. I’m sure it’s the board members,” she slowly gets up and makes her way out the door but not before patting you on the shoulder.

You spend the next hour on the phone, apologizing and promising to fix the issue to each individual member. You’re left holding your head as you try to massage the headache. This used to be fun, back when the app was just an idea. Somewhere along the way you started dreading coming into work. You’re not made to be like this. You’re meant to create.

What was it they used to say?

Never turn your hobby into real work.

Wow, you really have a habit of not listening to advice.

You order your assistant to buy everyone whatever they desire for lunch and dinner before heading down to the programming teams. They’re not enthusiastic about the situation but who can deny overtime.

Morale seems higher when they learn that you’ll be staying back with them. It was your baby at risk after all.

Your eyes are about to pop from the strain, you’ve been staring at a screen for hours. And then you come across it. One single line. Nudged into the code. That nearly destroyed years of hard work.

12 5 20 19 20 1 12 11

The numbers stare back at you. They confuse you. It makes no sense for them to be there. It’s not actual programming. Unless they were deliberately written in…

Your mind runs through all possibilities of what the numbers mean, each one more complicated than the last. But, what if it’s not difficult? You blankly gaze at the numbers.

No way. It can’t be that simple.

Your hand reaches for a pen and you scribble down onto a notepad.

12=L, 5=E, 20=T, 19=S, 20=T, 1=A, 12=L, 11=K

‘Let’s talk’

Your hand scrunches the paper into a ball, it remains in there. The other grasps the pen so hard that it breaks in your hand. Blue ink explodes all over the desk.

It takes several deep breaths to calm down. You still see red as you highlight the issue and email your team to fix it.

With no second thoughts, you rush back home. You can’t stay in Skyhaven any longer.

It’s eerily quiet when you enter your house.

Usually the babysitter would be waiting on the couch for you. The living room is completely empty and a mess. There are still dishes from the sink indicating that Eve had lunch at least. Your intuition screams that something is wrong. You grab a knife from the block, slowly making your way through the house, checking every room as you go on. The only one remaining is Eve’s bedroom. The light is on.

Your mind begs you to not go in but it surrenders, for Eve’s sake.

The door opens with a light creak from your touch. He’s sitting on the armchair in her room. The same one Elijah used to sit on with her. Caleb has your daughter in his arms. She’s fast asleep, seeing her unharmed brings you some relief. It snaps when his hand reaches to brush hair away from her face.

“Let her go!” You try to rush at him but something immobilizes you, like you’re getting crushed by something. The knife you were carrying clatters on the ground.

“Shhh,” he brings a finger up to his lips. “Do you want to wake her up?”

“I sent the babysitter home. She didn’t put up much of a fight when I threatened to arrest her. Don’t get mad at her, she didn’t have a choice.” His voice is too calm. He doesn’t even look at you, gaze fixed on Eve. “I didn’t know what I was going to do with her at first,” he admits then he looks at you. “She’s your daughter but she looks just like that bastar-”

“Don’t call him that,” the words escape from your mouth before you can stop that.

His hand on her stills. You watch as the emotion dies down in his eyes. The same notion you saw play out on your phone, when MC refused to go with him. His possessiveness had you swooning then. You had cried for him, for the tragic story they shared. It didn’t excuse his actions but you could understand them. None of that is present here. None of this should even be happening. There are no excuses for him anymore.

“I was going to give her away, so I could have you to myself.” He doesn’t respond to your remark, you wish he did so you didn’t have to listen to those words. You gasp and open your mouth to plead but he cuts you off. “All I had to do was spend two hours with her. She might look like him but everything else is from you. She smiled at me the way you used to.”

You look away from the sickening devotion on his face. It’s disgusting.

Caleb isn’t pleased by your disrespect. He knows how to finish the blow. “She asked me if I was her father. She doesn’t even remember him.” He gives you a soft smile. “I told her yes.”

He gets up from the chair and walks over to her bed, placing her down gently on the bed. He makes sure the blanket covers her before turning to you.

“I’ll admit there’s another reason I’m letting her stay. To keep you in line.”

He takes slow steps towards you, like a hunter taking his time to end his prey.

You can’t help the tears running down your face. His gloved hand reaches up to wipe a tear away. “Don’t cry,” he whispers, his evol stops just so he can bring you into his arms, comforting you like he isn’t the cause. He doesn’t use it again, he has you right where he wants.

“Why are you doing this?” the words come out hoarse.

He brings your head back up, both hands cradling your cheeks, level to his face. “Because I’ll go insane without you.” His thumb rubs circles on the skin underneath. Each touch is more revolting than the last.

“You’re already insane,” you whisper.

Caleb lets out a soft laugh. “I can be worse than this,” his demeanour is gentle but you know it’s a warning.

“It’s not just Eve, [Name]. I’ll go after everyone you love. Penelope will be the first. Do you think a pregnant woman can survive the fleet’s harsh interrogation methods?”

Your eyes widen even more. “No, no, she has nothing to do with this. Leave her alone. Please, Caleb.”

He groans when you say his name. Your bodies are pressed so close that you can feel him get excited. It takes everything to not rip yourself from his hold.

“Then promise you’ll be mine. Say it.”

You don’t respond, taking your time to say the words. But you don’t even get to make that choice as his eyes slowly lose the spark.

“I-I’ll be yours, Caleb.”

His mouth is on yours. You make no move against him or to stop him. His lips press deeper into yours, his tongue darts out in an attempt to make you open your mouth. You don’t. A sound rumbles from him, like a growl before a sharp pain erupts on the corner of your lips. He bites you so hard you can feel the skin rip and the blood drip. You try to jerk your head back but his hold on your face tightens, enough to bruise. The yelp you give from the pain gives him the access he needs.

“Kiss back,” he growls and this time you know to listen.

When he finally pulls away, you’re left trembling as you struggle to breath. Your blood coats his mouth, making him look like the monster he truly is. He has that blank look again. His finger caresses the scab forming on your lips before pressing down hard enough for you to hiss in pain.

“When your partner kisses you, you’re supposed to do it back, [Name]. Don’t make me do this again.”

You nod, too tired to fight. Not like you even can. His behaviour shifts again at your obedience. “Good girl,” he praises.

He looks around Eve’s room.

“Pack your bags. Enough for a couple of days. You’re moving in with me.” It’s an order, one you can’t refuse.

Caleb watches with unconcealed satisfaction as you follow his command.

It’s been a week since you entered this hell hole.

Just like in the main story, his apartment is devoid of anything that isn’t grey. It’s soulless, just like its owner.

He tells you to decorate to your taste and for Eve’s sake, you have to. Kids can’t grow up in a stale environment.

Speaking of Eve, she’s smitten with the man. You die a little inside every time she calls him Dad. Elijah only exists in your memories now. Caleb had taken one look at your wedding photos before burning them. Seeing the daily routine of her running into his arms when he comes back from work is torture. He’ll hold her in his arms before coming up to you and placing a kiss on your forehead. Then you give a smile that you both know is fake. It’s all an act.

Luckily, the collar around your neck is invisible. You’re free to come and go as you please. No one in your life has any idea what you’re going through and it’ll remain that way. Pen asked you once if everything was okay, you brush her concern off and tell her you just miss Elijah.

On your second day in his house, you had asked him about work.

“As long as you behave.”

It’s yet another thing he holds over you.

It’s Monday morning now. As you wake up, it’s to the sounds of something sizzling in the kitchen. Caleb had a rare day off, he had pushed you back on the bed when you tried to leave, claiming he’ll get Eve ready and take her to school. You had no choice but to remain in bed until you fell back asleep.

You share the bedroom with him. It’s the largest in his apartment. The one he was supposed to give to MC. Every night you go to bed without him and every morning you wake up to him tightly wrapped around you. You ignore the feeling of it pressed up against you, just glad he doesn’t act on it.

He still kisses you. A deep kiss before he leaves that always ends in a make out, leaving you breathless and panting each time. He looks at you in a way like he’s contemplating throwing you on the counter and having his way. Something always stops him, he ends up reaching for his hat, placing it on his head to hide the hunger in his eyes, before leaving.

You worry about the day he won’t hold back.

You make your way to the bathroom and do your morning routine. You remain in your pajamas, throwing on a robe before you enter the kitchen.

Caleb’s standing shirtless, clad only in plaid pajamas bottoms. He’s grown even more muscular from the last time you saw him at university. He doesn’t tell you about the scars on his body or why he no longer has an arm unaware you already know the answer. You have yet to see him wear that necklace. For a few seconds, you try to make yourself believe this is a normal domestic scene, desperate to make this easier for you but you can’t. You just can’t.

You want that brown hair to be blonde. You don’t want to look at purple eyes that resemble galaxies, you want deep brown eyes staring back at you.

“Good morning,” he doesn’t turn around, busy flipping a pancake.

“Morning,” you say back, walking closer to the kitchen island and taking a seat on the barstool. There’s a laminated paper on it. You bring it closer to you so you can read. ‘Certification of Marriage’ is typed at the top in big fancy letters. You stop reading when you see yours and Caleb’s full names next.

“What did you do?” you whisper. It feels like there’s a ball stuck in your throat.

He turns the stove off, finished with the last pancake. Taking his time to answer, he sets up the counter for breakfast. You know better than to push him. It doesn’t stop your hands from shaking.

“It’s only normal for couples to get married, honey,” he says to you like you’re stupid. Then he steps closer and grasps your hands in his. The action lets you notice the gold ring glinting on his ring finger. “I might not be your first husband but I’ll certainly be your last.”

When your expression doesn’t mimic his excited one, he gives you a sly grin. “Notice anything different,” his eyes focus on the ring in your hand. You look down, nothing about it had seemed off originally. It had always remained in the corner of your mind, never in your focus since you had already gotten used to it being there. But as you look deeper you notice differences. It’s a bit thicker and the gold is brighter than normal. It doesn’t look like it’s been worn for years.

It’s not your ring.

Caleb lets you snatch your hands out of his, he says nothing as you yank the ring off. You look for the inscription inside, begging inside to whatever gods that exist that is all a trick. That it’s still the ring Elijah gave you.

‘Forever yours’ is nowhere to be seen. ‘Eternity’ is written instead.

“When did yo-”

“While you were sleeping. You’re a very deep sleeper, you know? Could do whatever I want to you.”

You get the message. With no other words you put the ring back on your finger. All you can give him is a strained smile. “It’s beautiful,” you say as you cry.

One night when Caleb enters the apartment, she’s trailing behind him.

Her eyes look at you in surprise. You’re sitting on the couch with Eve in your arms, watching some princess movie she was obsessed with. As your daughter sees him, she rushes out of your arms to hug him.

Caleb drops her luggage down and welcomes her in his arms.

Eve has never been a shy kid, so she walks over the young girl and tugs on her pants. “I’m Eve!”

The girl crouches down and pats her head before introducing herself. In that moment Caleb makes his way to you, crouching down before you. “She has some business here in Skyhaven. Is it okay if she stays until then, pretty?”

His question leaves you dumbfounded. Why would he need your permission?

“It’s fine,” you respond. He leaves a kiss on your hand before walking back to them. His hand comes down to pat Eve’s head. “You can call her Auntie, sweetheart. She’s my sister.” Eve’s eyes go wide in wonder.

It makes you a little happy. All you could give Eve was one aunt, your real family could burn for all you care.

“Choose any room you like. Except our bedroom and Eve’s,” Caleb lets her know.

That causes your eyebrow to raise. So, he wouldn’t be giving up his room to her like he originally had. And even though she looks so confused why you’re there, she asks nothing. You suppose she’s already too busy trying to grapple with him being alive.

The dinner you all had together that night was so awkward. Eve gave a tired yawn in the baby chair. “You tired, baby?” you coo at her, slightly pinching her chubby cheeks. She gives you a tired nod.

You don’t notice the adoring look Caleb sends your way but the girl sitting next to him does.

“I’ll take her bed,” he says, getting up and carrying Eve, who makes herself at home in his arms. You watch as they enter her bedroom.

“I suppose you’ve forgiven him then.”

Her voice catches your attention. For a moment, you contemplate telling her the truth but you have no idea what Caleb will do in response. She still doesn’t know that she’s in a snake’s nest but she’ll come to that conclusion herself.

“Something like that.”

You get up and put the dishes in the sink. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, trying to come up with a suitable question but it's interrupted by Caleb coming back. He sits back down next to her and they start talking. All you need to do is hear the words ‘Kevi’ and ‘lockdown’ to mentally check out. You’ve never been one to disassociate before but it’s how you survive in this place.

You jump a little when muscular arms wrap around you. You hear his chuckle as he presses a kiss on your shoulder. “Missed you at work today,” he mumbles against your shirt. “You say that everyday,” you quip.

“Cause it’s true everyday.”

His hands uncurl just so he can feel every part of your stomach, they explore, kneading the skin as they go. You turn the sink off.

The tip of his nose nuzzles into your nape before he replaces it with his mouth. You yelp when he bites down, not from pain since he’s being gentle but from shock. Thinking otherwise, his mouth lets go before you feel him kiss the bite, his way of apologising. But then the kisses trail off, to any part of your neck he can find. You bite your lip to try and keep the noises in but a small whimper escapes when his tongue licks a stripe down your neck.

“Caleb I don-”

“I know,” comes a husky reply. “I won’t go further than this.” Not yet.

He tugs you into your shared bedroom, not bothering to let you change. You lay together on the bed, with him practically pulling you on top of him. He absentmindedly traces shapes on your back, soothing you to sleep.

The glass makes contact with the floor and shatters.

Eve cries out of fear in your hold and you try to comfort her.

“Did that calm you down?”

You wait for him to say that. It never comes. The pats you’re giving Eve come to a stop as you stare at the rage on Caleb’s face. He’s mad at her. He shouldn’t be, not in this scene.

His hand reaches for her wrist in such a tight hold that you wince with her. Eve shakes in your arms.

“Are you crazy?” he says through gritted teeth. “That could’ve hit them!” His voice booms through the room. Eve’s cries become louder.

Her eyes widen and her head snaps to you. “I-I didn’t mean-I’m sorry.”

“CALEB!” you force out. You hate yelling. You hate fighting. That’s when you realise you’re shaking too. You promised yourself as a kid, staring at the bruises on your arms, that you would never let your children be scared in their own home. You couldn’t even keep that promise.

The sound of your voice breaks him out of his rage.

“You’re the one scaring Eve right now. Let her go. You’re hurting her!”

He lets her arm go. She’s quick to let go and assess the damage. It’s red and you can see imprints of Caleb’s fingers. It’ll definitely bruise.

Caleb stares down at the arm that hurt her. He wishes it was the mechanical one. It’s not.

“P-pips, I-”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as she pushes her way past him back to her room. You make eye contact with her but neither of you say a word. He stares at you, lost. But you’re the same. He’s not supposed to act this way. He shouldn’t be putting you above her. It’s unnatural. It goes against everything he is.

There’s nothing you can say to comfort him, you walk away and bring Eve into her room. She cries and hiccups and all you can do is repeat ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again as you press kisses into her hair.

A few days after the incident occurred pass by and tensions have started to melt away.

The two are still a little on edge around each other but you see it in their eyes. They still care for each other. Caleb had apologised profusely to Eve the next day, taking her out for ice cream. The little girl forgave him too quickly for your taste. You’ll have to teach her better when she grows up.

Currently Eve is at school and Caleb at his job, not much was needed for you at work so you’re back. You laze on the dining chair, your mind is clear for once. But peace never lasts long for you. She enters the apartment, out of breath.

You stare at her and wait.

“He’s keeping you here, isn’t he?”

“And ten points goes to the winner,” you clap. “What would you like for your reward?”

“Help. I’d like help.”

She sits in front of you, launching into details about the toring chip in his head. What it is and what it does. The professor that did it to him. She tells you about what Kevi has become. All of it you already know.

She looks at you for a reaction but you keep your blank expression.

“And it matters to me, why?”

Her expression falters. “B-because it means he’s doing this under the chip's influence. It’s not his fault! We can help him!”

“We?” you raise an eyebrow. “Okay, let’s say I’m willing to entertain this. You said the chip could wipe all his emotions?”

She nods.

“Good.”

“W-what…?”

“I hope that fucking happens. After everything he’s put me through, it’s what he deserves.”

“Don’t you get it? If we find a way to get rid of the chip then he’ll go back to normal. He’ll let you go.”

“No, he won’t,” you lean back in the chair. “You don’t see it because you’re still blinded by the man you think he is. The chip didn’t give him this…infatuation out of nowhere. It just took away the resolve that stopped him from acting on it. Which is why it’s best that the chip works, if he doesn’t feel then he’ll let me go.”

She stares at you in horror.

“Did you really believe I would want to help him?” you scoff. “That’s cruel, especially from you. Are you sure you’re a hunter?” you shake your head at her. “Maybe you two are more alike than you think.”

She stares down at her hands, her hair covers her face so you can’t see what expression she’s wearing. You wait for her to start yelling but it doesn’t happen.

“...You’re right,” she admits. When she lifts her head back up, tears are running down her face. “I just want him back, the way he used to be. Even if it meant looking the other way.”

You should feel anger. You should feel the need to give her a slap or two. But all you see sitting before you is a little girl crying out for her brother. Besides, nothing you say or do will match the disgust and guilt she’s currently feeling at herself.

She gets up. “I’ll find a way to get you out of here.”

“And what? Can you guarantee protection for my child? For my loved ones? Because he threatened all of them. And he’ll go through with each one.”

She goes silent again.

“That’s what I thought. I think it’s best that you finish whatever you came here to do. And then go back to Linkon. The Caleb you miss died in that fire. Grieve that version of him and move on. Don’t come back. It’ll make all our lives easier.”

“I can’t just leave you here!”

You scoff again. “You and I both know you’re not going to do anything. You love him too much. Even if you tried, what’ll you do when, not if, when the Fleet finds out? They’ll dispose of him but not before killing me and my daughter in the process. So, drop that righteous attitude and just leave.”

She’s gone the next day.

It’s been a month since then.

You sit in the most uncomfortable position on the couch. It’s the only thing bringing you relief from the cramps.

Your husband enters the room.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as a small groan escapes you.

“Period,” you’ve taken to giving him one worded answers, sometimes no answer at all.

“It’s okay. You won’t have this problem next month.”

He watches as the confusion on your face is replaced with horror. He gives you a smile and kisses your temple. “I have to go now. I’ll be back at night, hon.” He leans down to your ear. “We’ll get started then,” he rubs your round stomach, like he already sees what he plans. “Eve deserves some siblings.”

You don’t respond as he leaves. Those words repeat in your head. They throb in your ears.

Siblings. As in plural. As in more than one.

There’s nothing you can do to combat the dread you feel for the rest of the day. He’s already decided your future and you both know that you can’t do anything about it.

You stand before the shelf. The one with the picture of her and Caleb in their childhood. A bitter feeling grows at their happy smiles.

While she always got the perfect Caleb - the act he performed only for her - you got the real one. The one who’ll say it’s time he gets to be selfish when you both know selfish is all he’s ever been with you.

A crack had begun to form in you the day you met him, one so small you never noticed. It stayed that way even as it began to get larger and new ones joined for you were too lost in him to realise. When you did notice, it was too late. All you heard as he left you was the sound of you shattering.

Then he waited for you to patch yourself back up so he could do it again. You’ve finally realised what you should’ve back then. He’ll destroy you, ruin you if it means keeping you by his side.

He’ll do it all with no remorse.

And it’s too late for you, you realise as you hear the sound again.

He won.

AN: I know nothing about programming. Why did I make the reader one, then? Maybe because I like making my life difficult! Don’t take anything I’ve written in regards to her job seriously, I just made shit up.

I did make reader plus size but I’ve never been one to focus on the bodies of those I write about.

I did not mean for Caleb to turn out this way but I lost the 50/50 to him and didn’t get Master of Fate so this is my revenge :) (I waited so long for the fucking rerun)

Let me know if you would like to be on the tag list for the other versions!

Tag list: @zeverean @quill-for-glory @smittenlynn @nm4565natty @miuangel

#lads fanfic #love and deepspace #yandere #lads #caleb x reader #lads caleb #love and deepspace caleb #lnds caleb #yandere character #yandere x reader #yandere caleb #non mc reader #caleb x non!mc reader #aceecee #love and deepspace x reader #yandere love and deepspace #yandere lnds #aceecee - Miseria

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aceecee · 24 days ago

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Miseria - Sneak peak

I know I should be writing the next chapter for Insatiable but when I tell you my mind is completely blank when I try! Yet that didn't stop me from writing 10K for Caleb's version for my new idea. I hope you like this little peak. I'm releasing my anger at him because he ruined my chances of getting Master of Fate :)

She looks at you for a reaction but you keep your blank expression.

“And it matters to me, why?”

Her expression falters. “B-because it means he’s doing this under the chip's influence. It’s not his fault! We can help him!”

“We?” you raise an eyebrow. “Okay, let’s say I’m willing to entertain this. You said the chip could wipe all his emotions?”

She nods.

“Good.”

“W-what…?”

“I hope that fucking happens. After everything he’s put me through, it’s what he deserves.”

“Don’t you get it? If we find a way to get rid of the chip then he’ll go back to normal. He’ll let you go.”

She stares at you in horror.

She stares down at her hands, her hair covers her face so you can’t see what expression she’s wearing. You wait for her to start yelling but it doesn’t happen.

“...You’re right,” she admits. When she lifts her head back up, tears are running down her face. “I just want him back, the way he used to be. Even if it meant looking the other way.”

She gets up. “I’ll find a way to get you out of here.”

“And what? Can you guarantee protection for my child? For my loved ones?”

She goes silent again.

“I think it’s best that you finish whatever you came here to do. And then go back to Linkon. The Caleb you miss died in that fire. Grieve that version of him and move on. Don’t come back. It’ll make all our lives easier.”

Here are the dynamic I have planned:

Caleb x Ex!Reader

MC x Professor!Reader

Zayne x Doctor!Reader

Sylus x Waitress at Elysium!Reader

Xavier x Vice Captain!Reader

Rafayel x Opera Singer!Reader

#lads fanfic #love and deepspace #loveanddeepspace #yandere #lads #lads caleb #caleb x reader #lads mc #love and deepspace x reader #lnds #lads x reader #yandere x reader #yandere character #yandere caleb #non mc reader #caleb x non!mc reader #yandere love and deepspace #aceecee

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aceecee · 29 days ago

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Salvage - Chapter One

Sylus x non!mc reader

TW: implied murder x2, abandonment of newborn, said newborn nearly dies from hypothermia, abandonment of animal suffering from malnutrition, small mention of human trafficking, you can tell I do not like the rich, love (more like obsession) at first sight, unwanted attention and touch from a man (ew)

WC: 3.5K

Masterlist

Mr Sylus has logged on.

Mr Sylus It’s been a few days.

He waits.

Nocturne has logged on.

Nocturne Yes it has. Good observation.

Mr Sylus You said you would reach out in a few days. Instead it’s me.

Nocturne A “few days” doesn’t include a definite number, Mr Sylus. People are talking by the way. Gabriel Astor supposedly jumped from his sky tower.

Mr Sylus Wow. You never really know what a person is going through.

Nocturne Pfft I’ll send his wife some flowers. His girlfriend as well.

Mr Sylus Don’t forget the boyfriend.

Nocturne And that completes the trifecta. I won’t.

Mr Sylus I reached out for a reason.

Nocturne Go ahead.

Mr Sylus Monitor the Miran family for me. I don’t have a reason as to why.

Nocturne But you’d like to be the first to know when you do. Done. Ah, that reminds me. Here are my bank account details.

Mr Sylus I’ve sent your weekly payment. A bonus too.

Nocturne Already spoiling me, Mr Sylus?

Mr Sylus I take care of my people.

Nocturne How nice. Is that all for today?

Mr Sylus Just a question.

Nocturne What is it?

Mr Sylus Why Nocturne?

Nocturne Do you know what it means?

Mr Sylus Yes.

Nocturne I thought it was a pretty name with a pretty meaning.

Mr Sylus I take it you like pretty things.

Nocturne I like pretty sights, pretty jewellery, pretty clothes… Pretty faces.

Mr Sylus. Ha. Should I be worried?

Nocturne Only if you have a pretty face.

[Name] pushed herself away from her desk.

She rubs her eyes, bleary and tired from the bright screen on her computer. You’d think with how innovative this world has become, they’d find a fix to this, she thinks bitterly. With a sigh, she leaves the comfort of her chair and goes to the kitchen. In a few minutes, she nurses a cup of chamomile tea in her hands.

Despite her “job”, [Name] had never been a fan of technology. She had modified her little apartment over the years to fit that. Like the pesky AI that was integrated into each apartment with promises to cater to your every need but really helped the landlord spy on them. It was easy to dig her fingers into its interface and let her evol do the rest. Said landlord did go missing around the time [Name] moved in. A simple coincidence.

Her hate would be shocking if one were to know her occupation or even her evol but she used her disdain as a weapon. And not a single soul knows her evol, as far as they’re concerned she has none. No one would think the woman stuck in the past would ever be the hacker terrorising the people in this wretched city that she had known all her life. A city in which it was considered a feat if a child reached adulthood.

She never knew her parents. Doesn’t know their names, faces or why they left her in a fucking dumpster of all things. [Name] didn’t understand the logic. What sort of monster can be heartless enough to abandon a newborn on one of the coldest nights of the year but be too much of a coward to end her suffering? Instead she would’ve had a slow and torturous death.

She had been found on the brink of death not by chance but because she had refused to give up, wailing as the rain came to an end. The story had been told to her with a smile, like she should be proud of the fact that she was a survivor. But [Name] didn’t feel proud, she felt abandoned.

She had spent her time since trying to find them. Not because she wanted an answer, no it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. But because she wanted to kill them with her own hands.

If Mary knew her thoughts, the poor woman would surely collapse. The only way a person has a chance of surviving here is if they can adapt to the violence. Or become “one with it” if you want to get poetic. Mary is the only pacifist [Name] has met in all her life. To her credit, the woman never forced those beliefs on anyone, explaining it would be against the very thing she stood for.

Mary had been the one who found [Name]. The one who nursed her back to health and gave the infant a bed in the orphanage she owned. The woman who gave her a home. Who would eat disgusting grey soup with ingredients no one wanted to know of so her children could have bread. Who would cry in the dead of night out of guilt that their blankets weren’t thick enough for the harsh winter. Who became a mother to [Name], teaching the little girl to not let the city mould her into something else.

[Name] pays the woman for her kindness with a generous donation every month, so that there’s no longer a need for grey soup. There’s an abundance of blankets, some thin for the heat and the others so thick it would make you wish you chose the other. Perhaps the city had changed her or she had always been like this but she doesn’t think she can change her nature. [Name] does have the capability to be nice but currently it’s only reserved for one person and a singular animal, the only ones who deserves it.

With a sip, she looks around her kitchen/living room/dining room. It’s small but it’s hers. Growing up in a city like this, the first thing you’re taught when you’re able is to never truly have anything so it couldn’t be taken from you. It had taken her a while to unlearn that mentally and she had now amassed a number of things that were hers alone. [Name] quickly learnt of her possessive nature, she’d sooner die trying to rip apart anyone that tried to take her things. Another reason she can’t let her genetic failures get away with what they did. Her life is the most priceless thing she owns and her mind cannot accept the fact that someone thought they could control it. It grew restless every year that went by with no progress leaving her wondering when she will no longer be able to contain the loud rage brewing inside her.

It’s why she enjoys what she does, watching the hope die out in the eyes of an arrogant maniac as everything they own burns can be quite therapeutic, soothing even.

In just a span of one year, Nocturne had become a household name with teams created within every group with the sole mission to end her. Every group except the one who stood at the top. Onychinus.

She couldn’t help but be shocked (a little hurt too) at their disinterest. She wasn’t so cocky to go after them, at least not right away but it wouldn’t have caused harm to just dig a little. Unlike the other organisations that got a kick out of practically broadcasting their doings for everyone to see, despite being so widely known little was known about Onychinus. All she could come up with was what everyone else knew, something that left a bitter taste in her mouth.

So, [Name] reached out. Because life had gotten a little stale in her small apartment, no longer did ruining people’s lives bring her the joy it once did. She needed a change. She has no desire to mess with Onychinus or its mysterious boss. No, she wanted entertainment. And just one conversation with Sylus had provided her just that.

Truth be told, she wasn’t expecting an answer. What she was expecting was that they would discover her identity and she would end up going missing, or made an example of. It’s what she would do.

Many would think Sylus was an idiot for agreeing to talk at a secondary location and alone too which would give her an advantage but she read between the lines. He simply didn’t consider Nocturne a threat.

How exhilarating.

She honours his request to not spy on his face. [Name] isn’t stupid, she’s aware it’s a test but she still appreciates that he asked and not demanded. Manners are a rare commodity around here.

A few taps on the kitchen window break her out of her thoughts. She puts her cup down and goes to open it. Smiling gently at the four-legged furball that walks in, shaking off any excess dirt on his fur. “I see you’re back, Barfi,” she coos at the animal, petting his head. Barfi rubs his head against her hand, purring. He has her trained well because she pulls out his bowl and plates his food, watching contently as he eats.

She had come across the cat nearly two years ago, meeting him on a rainy day. He was only a kitten, so thin his bones could be felt and so young that his eyes weren’t even open yet. He had been left in an alleyway and would have never been discovered if not for the tiny squeak he let out as she hurried by, desperate to go home. When she discovered his shivering body, an instant kinship formed inside her, his story was just like hers.

Two souls suffering in the same way.

She had bundled him inside her coat and ran so fast back to her home. For weeks she fed him with a syringe, worried when all he did was sleep. She had cried when she measured him one day and it had gone up. He remained in the nest she had made, a heating lamp with various blankets, until one day she woke up and found him exploring his new house. He had taken to her instantly since, recognising the smell of the woman who had saved him and every single day since he has been grateful. [Name] thinks it’s him who saved her.

She isn’t undermining Mary at all but the woman will be fine without [Name] in her life if it came to it, Mary has others who depend on her after all. All Barfi has is her, he relies on her so she continues to live for him. It’s an unexpected clutch in her dark moments, where she finds herself so tired of living a life like this.

But her apartment is too small for an animal, Barfi expressed interest in wanting to go out and [Name] grappled with his wants. Then the cat looked at her with his big dumb blue eyes and she no longer had a choice. It was easy to manufacture a collar that would hide him from others, invisible to all, except her due to the implant she had installed in her own eye. The hard part was teaching him to never approach any other human, she was not letting him outside without 100% confidence in the cat.

The strain in her eyes is gone, with a groan she walks back into her room, sitting down on her chair. Barfi makes himself comfortable in her lap. She activates her evol, her computer screen moves on its own, showing articles, pictures and everything else related to the name ‘Miran’ in milliseconds. Too fast for a normal eye but not hers. Her brain devours the constant barrage of information with ease. She’ll have a killer headache tomorrow.

Nothing interesting pops up in her search, they’re the same as everyone else. Rich family dealing in illegal trade. Weapons, protocores…people.

All she finds worthy of note is a secret invitation encrypted in their messages. For a fucking party. It gets better. The theme is masquerade. She wants to laugh at how ridiculous it is but it prevents the perfect opportunity for her to access their tech, they’ll continue to rely on them, not knowing it would all be reporting back to her. She wishes she could do it remotely, she’s not exactly a fan of people but this will require her to actually leave the apartment.

With a sign, she opens a new page and order’s her mask and dress. The bonus Sylus had sent her was sitting pretty in her secret bank account, begging to be used for something. She adds expensive jewellery to her cart.

The people around her buzz with excitement as she walks up the stairs.

One of the guards at the door stops her and asks for an invitation. She hands it to him, waiting patiently as he cross checks the guestlist. But then she remembers that she’s meant to act as a rich entitled lady. That’s what the young girl whose identity she stole was known to be like.

“What is taking so long, you damn idiot,” she speaks venomously. “Do you not know who I am?” The guard doesn’t react, too used to behaviour like the one she’s presenting. “Apologies, madam,” he says in a blank tone, face impassive.

“Ugh, just hurry it up,” she concedes with a huff, not wanting to draw too much attention.

“Miss Vespera, you’re on the list,” he informs, unbuckling the velvet rope in front of her. “Please come in and enjoy yourself.”

The party is in full swing, people linger everywhere, some drinking, some dancing and some mingling. Various artwork is hung up, rare artifacts and weapons are on display with holo screens of their individual descriptions. A clear show of wealth. One she’s not interested in.

She takes some time to walk around and map the floor in her head. There are four exits out of this ballroom, excluding the one she came from. Three of them are closed off with two guards at each exit, only one is open. Meaning [Name] can’t explore to her desire. She’s not exactly the best in combat, relying on the element of surprise. No one expects their earpiece to just explode after all. But that would create a scene and be impossible to cover up.

It’s fine. All she needs is one piece of tech, like…

Her eyes light up. Like the holo screens. [Name] doesn’t bother with the fourth exit, sure it would lead to restrooms but she notes it in her head anyway as she turns back around.

His eyes had been on her the moment she entered.

In the sea of masks, the woman stands out to him. She shines and he’s consumed by the need to steal her.

She walks like she belongs in this world, fooling many around her. But he sees what they don’t. Her mask for one. Others have their masks lavishly decorated, many of them with sigils because their identity means everything to them. Even he is no exception, a cluster of black feathers decorate his mask but what makes it stand out are the Burma rubies that have been shaped and placed on it. A hint to anyone if they knew him.

Her mask is a simple black one made out of lace. It suits her, contrasting well with the beauty of her extravagant dress and its alluring host.

Her dress itself doesn’t have the wide skirt most masquerade dresses do. She’s not taking up space. It’s white and flowy, filled with ruffles. There’s a light print on it, of flowers with the colours pink and blue.

He can’t help but think she would look much better in red.

He watches as she walks around, simply examining and not stopping to greet anyone.

The second thing he notices is how she refuses a glass of champagne from a server. The woman clearly needs to be lucid for something. What it is, he has no idea and he’s found a reason to stay in this boring hellhole.

The third thing is her disinterest in the various items scattered around the room, not even bothering to watch the auctions while many flaunt their money to acquire rare items.

Suddenly she’s out of his sight. He gets up from the couch, the drink he was nursing is quickly forgotten and he follows. He makes sure to not get close, every step she takes, he does too. He watches as she analyses the exits and he’s still watching as she realises it's futile and turns around to go back.

She goes up to one of the artifacts, a flash of disgust when she reads the description, ‘Lemurian Scales’. His interest in her peaks more when her hand hovers above the screen, nothing else happens, no glitching or sparks but the woman lowers her hand with an accomplished grin. She’s done what it was she intended. He doesn’t think he’s ever been proud of a stranger before.

With her mission done, the woman relaxes. When she surveilles the room, it’s different from before. There’s no meaning or intent behind it. Her eyes fall on the large aquariums at the side, widening slightly as she becomes aware of it. She heads straight for it. He follows.

She doesn’t notice as he slips to the other side, too focused on matching each fish to the pictures on the screen. It had never occurred to him that the same fish he had brushed off could excite someone so much.

He mimics her every move. When her hand reaches out to touch the glass, he automatically does the same but it’s not enough. He needs the object between them to be gone.

“That’s a Largetooth Sawfish,” [Name] nearly jumps in surprise at the black-haired man that appears behind her. He doesn’t even look at her as he continues. “It’s considered to be almost extinct and I have one right here,” then he looks at, beaming. It takes everything to not punch him in the face.

“Oh, where are my manners,” he reaches a hand out to you. “Edward Miran.”

As much as [Name] doesn’t want to, she puts her hand into his, her polite smile dropping when he doesn’t let go.

“I saw you from across the room and had to make introductions,” he pulls her a little closer to him. The forced contact leaves her uncomfortable.

She notices he hasn’t asked for her name.

[Name] had done extensive research on all the family members. Edward Miran was the second son of the family. His name was linked to a lot of horrible crimes, ones she had no desire to say out loud. The man may be handsome but she sees him for everything he is.

He’s nothing but a vicious maniac. No rhyme or reason in his doings. Which [Name] is normally fine with but she likes her partners to have some class. The man before her is only pretending to have it. He can't hide the hunger in his eyes, salivating at the mouth with the need to devour her. A disgusting animal.

“May I have this dance?”

It’s a different voice. While Edward’s sounds like nails dragging on a chalkboard to her, this one is a deep baritone with a slight accent. It makes her feel the peace that comes with watching a sunset.

She doesn’t even turn to look at the man, practically yelling ‘yes’ before turning to face him.

His eyes take her breath away. The colour of blood. A voice speaks in the back of her head, “Afraid of a little red?”, it asks, teasing. No, she responds, I just never knew it could be so captivating.

Snowy white hair frames his face. He’s tall and has a muscular stature. The suit he’s wearing does not help the sudden fast beating of her heart. The mask does nothing to hide his looks. He’s a walking distraction and she mentally thanks whatever deity that took its time sculpting him.

The mystery man’s hand encases her’s and he leads her away from Edward. Said man is forgotten by [Name] as she focuses on his warm and gentle grip. She can’t help but compare the two of them. Edward’s touch felt disgusting while the mystery man felt safe.

The two of them stand before each other on the dance floor. Mystery man reaches for [Name’s] other hand, caressing the skin there as if trying to replace Edward’s touch. It’s working.

He brings her right hand to his shoulder before settling his on her waist. She’s shocked at her own compliance but every touch of his seems to activate her nerves, leaving her more sensitive than she usually is.

The music starts and they move in symphony.

Neither of them look away from the other’s eyes. Hypnotising each other.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

“I’m-” she pauses, her actual name nearly spills out of her mouth. “Tali. Tali Vespera.”

“Call me Sky,” the man whispers. She picks up on the hidden meaning in his words. He doesn’t want his real self known.

What [Name] fails to realise is the satisfaction brimming in the man’s eyes as he connects the dots. He’s aware of who the young lady of the family Vespera is and she’s not the woman standing before him.

This woman has the skills to steal an identity, she had done something to the holo screen and it’s no coincidence she’s sniffing around the Miran family.

He knows exactly who she is.

Nocturne - a composition inspired by, or evocotive of, the night.

Tali - Hebrew, meaning "my night dew". Tali offers a nice gentle, nurturing connection to the cool stillness of the night.

Vespera - Latin, meaning "evening star". Illustrates the beauty of twilight, when the first stars begin to appear in the night sky.

Tag list: @definitely-asexual-volcano

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