ademanila-blog
ademanila-blog
Ademanila
13 posts
Writing shits for self satisfactory
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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When the day met the night
Finally, she know what is wrong from right.
When the sun found the moon
Finally, she found her way where it's nine in the afternoon
And finally the stars fell inlove with the sky,
that was the time he held her so tight.
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Original gif made in Sept 2016 / Updated gif made October 2017
It’s fun to see how much my art has changed in a year!
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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“Someday, you will look for someone
who resembles me
and on that same day
I will be with someone
who doesn’t resemble you at all”
Excerpt From: Naim, Rania. “All The Words I Should Have Said.”
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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Instagram: malaikat_2800
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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Existence precedes essence — Jean Paul Sartre
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EXISTENCE
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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I entered a place where I am not certain of what will happen. The place thought me a lot of thing that made me change a bit but this place is slowly making me into something I don't want me to be.
So many thoughts at late midnights that is making me lose my sanity, figuratively.
I thought it's my escape but I was wrong because that place where I am hiding is actually what I am running from, now.
I am running because I can't stop killing somebody.
It's not crimson blood or big wounds I am giving but bigger and painful than that.
What if they'll know who I really am, will they accept me? I'm curious of what will be their reaction?
I can't let go now. Que sera, sera and if that happens another lie will bloom.
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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At the middle of the night,
I can't help my mind but to keep on running
Endless thoughts that might be destructive or not.
Counting an endless number of stars for me to fall asleep
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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Writing Tip June 4th
A list of body language phrases.
I’ve included a very comprehensive list, organized by the type of body movement, hand and arm movements, facial expressions etc. In some cases, a phrase fits more than one heading, so it may appear twice. Possible emotions are given after each BL phrase unless the emotion is indicated within the phrase. (They are underlined for emphasis, not due to a hyperlink.)
Note: I’ve included a few body postures and body conditions as they are non-verbal testimony to the character’s physical condition.
Have fun and generate your own ideas.:-)
Eyes, Brows and Forehead
arched a sly brow:  sly, haughty
blinked owlishly:  just waking, focusing, needs glasses
brows bumped together in a scowl:  worried, disapproving, irritated
brows knitted in a frown: worried, disapproval, thoughtful
bug-eyed:  surprised, fear, horror
cocky wink and confident smile:  over confidence, arrogant, good humor, sexy humor
eyes burned with hatred: besides hatred this might suggest maniacal feelings
eyes flashed: fury, defiance, lust, promise, seduction
eyes rolled skyward: disbelief, distrust, humor
forehead puckered:  thoughtful, worried, irritation
frustration crinkled her eyes
gaze dipped to her décolletage: sexual interest, attraction, lust
gimlet-eyed/narrowed eyes: irritation, thoughtful, mean, angry
gleam of deviltry:  humor, conniving, cunning
kept eye contact but her gaze became glazed: pretending interest where there is none/bordom
narrowed to crinkled slits:  angry, distrust
nystagmic eyes missed nothing (constantly shifting eyes):  Shifty
pupils dilated:  interested, attraction to opposite sex, fear
raked her with freezing contempt
slammed his eyes shut:  stunned, furious, pain
squinted in a furtive manner:  fearful, sneaky
stared with cow eyes:  surprised, disbelief, hopeful, lovestruck
subtle wink:  sexy, humor/sharing a joke, sarcasm
unrelenting stare: distrust, demanding, high interest, unyielding
Place To Place, Stationary Or Posture
ambled away:  relaxed, lazy
barged ahead:  rude, hurried
battled his way through the melee:  desperate, anger, alarm
cruised into the diner:  easy-going, feeling dapper, confident
dawdled alongside the road:  lazy, deliberate delay for motives, unhurried, relaxed
dragged his blanket in the dirt:   sadness/depressed, weary
edged closer to him:  sneaky, seeking comfort, seeking protection, seeking an audience
he stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sudden interest, sexual attraction
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig: demonstrates physical condition – he has to pee
hips rolled and undulated:  sexy walk, exaggerating for sex appeal
hovered over them with malice/like a threatening storm: here it’s malice, but one may hover for many reasons.
hunched over to look shorter:  appear inconspicuous, ashamed of actions, ashamed of height
leaped into action feet hammering the marbled floor:  eager, fear, joyous
long-legged strides:  hurried, impatient
lumbered across:  heavy steps of a big man in a hurry
minced her way up to him: timid, sneaky, insecure, dainty or pretense at dainty
paced/prowled the halls:  worried, worried impatience, impatient, diligently seeking pivoted on his heel and took off:  mistaken and changes direction, following orders, hurried, abrupt change of mind, angry retreat
plodded down the road:  unhurried, burdened, reluctant
practiced sensual stroll:  sexy, showing off
rammed her bare foot into her jeans: angry, rushed
rocked back and forth on his heels: thoughtful, impatiently waiting
sagged against the wall:  exhausted, disappointment
sallied forth:  confident, determined
sashayed her cute little fanny:  confident, determined, angered and determined
shrank into the angry crowd:  fear, insecure, seeking to elude
sketched a brief bow and assumed a regal pose: confident, mocking, snooty, arrogant skidded to an abrupt halt: change of heart, fear, surprise, shock
skulked on the edges of the crowd: sneaky, ashamed, timid
slithered through the door:  sneaky, evil, bad intentions
stormed toward her, pulling up short when: anger with a sudden surprise
swaggered into the class room:  over confident, proud, arrogant, conceited
tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing
toe tapped a staccato rhythm:  impatience, irritation
tottered/staggered unsteadily then keeled over:  drunk, drugged, aged, ill
waltzed across the floor:  happy, blissful, exuberant, conceited, arrogant
Head Movement
cocked his head:  curiosity, smart-alecky, wondering, thoughtful
cocked his head left and rolled his eyes to right corner of the ceiling:  introspection
droop of his head: depressed, downcast, hiding true feelings
nodded vigorously: eager
tilted her head to one side while listening:  extreme interest, possibly sexual interest
Mouth And Jaw
a lackluster smile:  feigning cheerfulness
cigarette hung immobile in mouth: shock, lazy, uncaring, relaxed casualness
clinched his jaw at the sight:  angered, worried, surprised
curled her lips with icy contempt
expelled her breath in a whose:  relief, disappointment
gagged at the smell: disgust, distaste
gapped mouth stare:  surprised, shock, disbelief
gritted his teeth:  anger, irritation, holding back opinion
inhaled a sharp breath:  surprise, shock, fear, horror
licked her lips:  nervous, sexual attraction
lips primed: affronted, upset, insulted
lips pursed for a juicy kiss
lips pursed like she’d been chewing a lemon rind: dislike, angry, irritated, sarcasm
lips screwed into: irritation, anger, grimace, scorn
lips set in a grim line: sorrow, worried, fear of the worst
pursed her lips:  perturbed, waiting for a kiss
scarfed down the last biscuit:  physical hunger, greed
slack-mouthed:  total shock, disbelief
slow and sexy smile:  attraction, seductive, coy
smacked his lips: anticipation
smile congealed then melted into horror
smile dangled on the corner of his lips: cocky, sexy
smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder:  conceit, sarcasm, over confident
sneered and flicked lint off his suit: sarcasm, conceit
spewed water and spit: shock
stuck out her tongue: humor, sarcasm, teasing, childish
toothy smile:  eagerness, hopeful
wary smile surfaced on her lips
Nose
nose wrinkled in distaste/at the aroma
nostrils flared:  anger, sexual attraction
nose in the air:  snooty, haughty
Face in General
crimson with fury
handed it over shame-faced
jutted his chin: confident, anger, forceful
managed a deadpan expression:  expressionless
muscles in her face tightened:  unsmiling, concealing emotions, anger, worried
rested his chin in his palm and looked thoughtful
rubbed a hand over his dark stubble:  thoughtful, ashamed of his appearance
screwed up her face:  anger, smiling, ready to cry, could almost be any emotion
sneered and flicked lint off his suit: conceit, derision, scorn
Arm and Hand
a vicious yank
arm curled around her waist, tugging her next to him:  possessive, pride, protective
bit her lip and glanced away:  shy, ashamed, insecure
brandished his fist:  anger, threatening, ready to fight, confident, show of pride
clamped his fingers into tender flesh:  anger, protective, wants to inflict pain
clenched his dirty little fists: stubborn, angry
clapped her hands on her hips, arms crooked like sugar bowel handles:  anger, demanding, disbelief
constantly twirled her hair and tucked it behind her ear:  attracted to the opposite sex, shy crossed his arms over his chest: waiting, impatient, putting a barrier
crushed the paper in his fist:  anger, surrender, discard
dived into the food: hunger, eager, greedy
doffed his hat:  polite gesture, mocking, teasing
doodled on the phone pad and tapped the air with her foot:  bored, inattention, introspection
drummed her fingers on the desk:  impatient, frustrated, bored
fanned her heated face with her hands: physically hot, embarrassed, indicating attraction
fiddled with his keys: nervous, bored
firm, palm to palm hand shake:  confident, honest
flipped him the bird: sarcastic discard
forked his fingers through his hair for the third time:  disquiet/consternation, worry, thoughtful
handed it over shame-faced:  guilt, shame
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig:  physical need to relieve himself
limp hand shake:  lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm
propped his elbow on his knee: relaxed, thoughtful
punched her pillow:  restless, can’t sleep, angry
rested his chin in his palm:  thoughful, worried
scratched his hairy belly and yawned:  indolent, bored, lazy, relaxed, just waking
shoulders lifted in a shrug:  doubtful, careless discard
slapped his face in front of God and country:  enraged, affronted/insulted
snapped a sharp salute:  respect, sarcastic gesture meaning the opposite of respect
snapped his fingers, expecting service:  arrogant, lack of respect, self-centered
sneered and flicked lint off his suit
spread her arms wide: welcoming,  joy, love
stabbed at the food: anger, hunger, determined
stood straighter and smoothed his tie:  sudden interest, possible sexual interest
stuffed his hands in his pockets: self-conscious, throwing up a barrier
sweaty handshake:  nervous, fearful
touched his arm several times while explaining:  sign of attraction, flattery, possessive
wide sweep of his arms:  welcoming, all inclusive gesture, horror
Sitting or Rising
collapsed in a stupor:  exhausted, drunk, drugged, disbelief
enthroned himself at the desk:  conceit, pronouncing or taking ownership
exploded out of the chair:  shock, eager, anger, supreme joy
roosted on the porch rail like a cock on a hen house roof:  claiming ownership, conceit, content
sat, squaring an ankle over one knee:  relaxed and open
slouched/wilted in a chair and paid languid attention to:  drowsy, lazy, depressed, disinterest, sad, totally relaxed, disrespectful
squirmed in his chair: ill at ease, nervous, needs the bathroom
Recline
flung himself into the bed: sad, depressed, exhausted, happy
prostrated himself: surrender, desperate, miserable, powerless, obsequious, fawning, flattering
punched her pillow:  can’t sleep, anger, frustrated
threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming: tantrum
Entire body and General
body stiffened at the remark:  offended, anger, alerted
body swayed to music:  dreamy, fond memories, enjoys the music
bounced in the car seat, pointing:  excitement, fear, eager
cowered behind his brother:  fear, shyness, coward, desperate
curled into a ball:  sorrow, fear, sleepy, defensive
heart galloping:  anxiety, joy, eager
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig
humped over his cane, each step shaking and careful: pain, aged
inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly: buying time to find words/thoughtful, reconciled
quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel:  unsure of actions, self-conscious, tense, edgy
rocked back and forth on his heels:  impatient, cocky, gleeful
manhandled the woman into a corner:  bully, anger
slumped shoulders: defeat, depressed, sad, surrender
stiff-backed:  priggish, haughty, affronted
stood straighter and straightened his tie:  sexual interest, wants to make an impression
stooped and bent: aged, arthritic, in pain
stretched extravagantly and yawned:  tired, bored, unconcerned
sweating uncontrollably: nervous, fear, guilt
tall erect posture:  confidence, military bearing
was panting now at:  afraid, exhausted, out of breath, sexual excitement
-Sharla Rae
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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I am drowning in air. Voices, voices, they are everywhere, tangling me in a mess so intertwined that I gave up finding a way out. They grasp me like the wires  fixed to me while I lay unconscious in the hospital bed. I scream in a language only pain understands but you give me puzzled looks as if I’m crazy. Sometimes when I’m staring at the walls, I think, maybe the darkness felt lonely so it decided to seek me, maybe that’s what happens to good people, we make the wrong kind of friends. Too nice to say no. And now, after all of these nights, it keeps speaking to me, the dark, it keeps hollering in a tongue I have learned to speak, in a tone I have learned to create. And they keep saying, you are not alone, you are not alone, but I say, isn’t that the problem?
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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❝The biggest irony is when I actually hate arts but I already mastered the art of faking a smile. ❞
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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“I have written about my hands, my heart 
my aching feet and unzipped spine
let’s talk about my knees-
always in front of an altar,
always bent before someone undeserving”
- church pew poetry || O.L.
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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three birds
some days i scribble words with my blood and i promise it is like a papercut splitting open my veins spilling out my will three birds flew in five circles within my sight like an awakening ritual my thoughts flew too i can only dream paint me a dream colour it bright sharpen all its edges to free my spirit to fly with the birds to savour life and detest not ask not of condiment
@misplacednotes
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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Staring at something I sighed in boredom right now Scribbling at my book I don’t know know what to do Walked out the room, fuck boredom.
pctto.
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ademanila-blog · 8 years ago
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Save me
At the middle of the night,
Where everyone is sleeping
I was awake, staring at the ceiling
Blinding myself with the bulb's light.
Thoughts had been running inside my mind
Voices are pushing me to grab the knife
I closed my eyes and remember what was done,
I was murdered in front of everyone
And everyone just watched me die.
One slash, it felt nothing;
But the second and the third was excruciating.
My used to be pale skin turned bloody
And my used to be colorful world turned black.
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