adhdandcats

[adhdandcats]

Me: thinking about how messed up my sleep schedule is going to be when it comes time for school to start back up.

Also me: watching Netflix and eating jellybeans at 2:00 in the morning.

[adhdandcats]

[adhdandcats]

Discussing a Refreshingly Honest Mutual Friend Who I Think Has ADHD

Friend: Wait, so, does ADHD make people just blurt out random things?

Me: *gives her withering look* "Does ADHD make people just blurt out random things?"

Friend: Haha! Well, I didn't know if it was ADHD or just your personality!

Me: Oh, no, it's definitely ADHD. I pretty much surprise myself every time I open my mouth.

[adhdandcats]

Yuuuuuuuuuuup.

AD(H)D feel when you feel exhausted but it’s too early to go to bed so you force yourself to stay awake then the moment is gone and you’re magically up all night! 🙄😑 like where did this energy even come from?!

I need to let myself sleep whenever it’s convenient, even if it is 6:30 pm lol @adhd-is @adhdfeels @adhd-community @adhdthoughtsandfeels @adhdandcats

[adhdandcats]

My brain is all Random Access Memory.

Confessions of a Nerdy ADHDer.

[adhdandcats]

[breaks out a 30 rack of these at a party and starts shotgunning them]

[adhdandcats]

A Conservative Christian Friend Is Playing Skyrim

Friend: Dang it! I accidentally stole something! I lost kharma points! *pulls up stats* See, these are my crimes--only that one theft, no murders or assaults, at least.

Me: I feel like there should be a way to be a bad guy in this game, like, you should be able to murder and steal and stuff.

Friend: Well, there is, but my morals won't let me.

Me: What?! It's a game!

Friend: Stealing is still wrong!

Me: I'll bet when you played the Sims, all your Sims were in heterosexual married couples before they had babies.

Friend: *looks sheepish*

[adhdandcats]

I'm a Problem-Solver

My Brother: Cats are in the way of my work! Move the cats, please!

Me: No problem, I'll just take my lunch upstairs and eat it there.

Cats: *thunder up the stairs after me and the food smell*

[adhdandcats]

Literally every episode of My Cat from Hell

[adhdandcats]

So the problem with having chronic illnesses is that when I feel super awful, like something is really wrong, I have no way of knowing whether the awfulness is due to something acute because several things are, in fact, consistently wrong.

[adhdandcats]

me: *forgets friends birthdays*

me: *confuses memories*

me: *forgets own middle name*

me, also: hey did you know that all pennies minted prior to 1982 are pure copper pennies and not copper plated and are technically actually worth 2 cents

----------------------

me, ADHDandcats: Hey, did you know that it's illegal to sell US pennies for their copper? A bunch of people were selling barrels of old US pennies overseas since they were worth twice their face value, so the US government passed a law to make it illegal. Also, current US pennies cost about 1.7¢ to produce.

[adhdandcats]

A friend and I were talking about cats in dresses.

[adhdandcats]

What is going on.

x

[adhdandcats]

Compromise

Cute things: My cat lying on my chest at bedtime.

Difficult things: Breathing with eighteen pounds (8.165 kg) of cat stretched across the entire length of my thorax.

[adhdandcats]

Productivity at this point of the year

[adhdandcats]

This Is Why I Give My Cat His Chicken-Flavored Arthritis Medicine When I Take My Evening Pills

Me: *wakes up at 2:15 a.m. on top of my bed backwards and in my clothes* Where am I? What is going on?

Max: *sits expectantly by desk with pill bottles on it* I'm so glad you're awake because you skipped a step this evening!

[adhdandcats]

This Is Why My Psychologist Said Being a Married Male "Nutty Professor Type" Would Be an Easier Way to ADHD Than Being an ADHDer Mom

Me: So, Dad, what do you want for your birthday?

Dad: I dunno. I can't think of anything.

Me: So, what do you need?

Dad: I guess I need some new slacks. I've gone up to a 33. I can't fight the pooch!

Me: Okay, great. I will get you a pair of slacks.

Dad: But, really, I should buy those myself.

Me: Um, Dad, when was the last time you bought clothes for yourself?

Dad: You mean, without your mother? About thirty years.

Me: Uh-huh. Usually you're not even there when the purchases happen, if I recall.

Dad: And when I was younger my mom bought my clothes.

Me: Yep.

Dad: And, in between, I had girlfriends.

Me: Oh.

Dad: I remember one girlfriend the year before I met your mom took me to buy a suit.

Me: You mean, the suit you wore in your engagement photos? That one suit you always wore like every Sunday throughout my entire childhood?

Dad: . . . Probably.

Me: Okay. So what piece of clothing do you most need right now?