ahram0630

[ahram0630]

TW

What’s the point of life anyways?

My birthday is on Monday and I think I’m going to actually kms. I have been saving my meds so I can overdose

[ahram0630]

Yesterday I went to a yard sale and I found a box of blade. When I asked the women how much they were she looked at me and said “ oh I’m sorry but those aren’t for sale.” When I asked her why she pointed at my arms. Bitch.

[ahram0630]

Sometimes life just doesn’t feel real you know? Like what did I ever do to deserve this much shit? It’s been one thing after another. I’m barely surviving on like 3 hours of sleep. I just can’t do this anymore.

[ahram0630]

OMG guys guess what?!?!? So I got my community time back which means I can go for walks out in the community by myself. Which means I’m now able to sneak off and get blades pretty much whenever I want to😁 I’m so happy. I only have 30 minutes so I can’t go too far which sucks but still.

[ahram0630]

When all you want is some peace and quiet but the noise in your head never shuts up.

[ahram0630]

I don’t think she’s ever going to come back. Which sucks cause I really want her too. And cause at the end of the day it’s my fault. Maybe if I didn’t push her so hard she wouldn’t have left. But whatever right? It doesn’t matter right? All I know is that I need to do something right now. And that I’m so fucking done with everything

[ahram0630]

Van Gogh shot himself so why can’t I?

[ahram0630]

I want to be happy but I think I forgotten how

[ahram0630]

I feel like I’m about to break. I really want to jump out the fucking window but I can’t. I just feel all alone.

But on the plus side here’s a picture of a cute bunny

[ahram0630]

If only he was real….

[ahram0630]

cvtting myself isn't enough anymore, i need to be hospitalized

[ahram0630]

I just wish I had someone who understood me and would help me SH.

[ahram0630]

Do you ever just go on Amazon and look at blades and your mouth waters

[ahram0630]

Does anyone have any blades that I could have? I’m super desperate right now. I’m willing to do anything. Please help me I really appreciate it

I live in Hudson Massachusetts

[ahram0630]

I have therapy in like 20 minutes. Time to pretend like everything is ok and that I don’t want to fucking kms. I’m hoping after though to be able to SH. But we’ll see. Wish me luck😵

[ahram0630]

I wish just for once I could be happy. That I could stay happy. That my moods didn’t go up and down super fast. That I could function like a normal human being. All I do is sit around and do art. I have no life. I can’t get a job or go back to school because I’m not ready. I have a hard time doing things even the things that I like. Sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier if I just off my self.

[ahram0630]

I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to tell someone even though it didn’t work. I mean I still tried to cut myself with a kitchen knife. That’s scary. I’ve never done that before. But at the same time it didn’t do anything so why worry people? I need to find something better than broken glass. I might try and steal some blades today from somewhere.