ahxtchner

[ahxtchner]

professional / aaron hotchner

word count: 3.6k

summary: having to share a room with your boss can lead to many things, both good and bad

cw: smut 18+, fingering, daddy kink, lots of kissing, major subdrop, panic attack, aftercare, stress, small injury, flashback major injury, blood, awkward aaron, one bed trope, softdom! hotch, both parties inexperienced with subdrops, pet names

a/n: idk how i feel about this, it's really long cause i wanted to fit in the subdrop. kinda obsessed with very subby reader and worried hotch. this is probably more catered towards an afab reader with she/her/they pronouns as somewhere in the story hotch calls the reader "sweet girl" also cause smut.

MDNI

night falls on the small alaskan town and you all gather at the tavern that penelope has been cooped up at all day.

"i've got four of the upstairs rooms available." the sheriff says, nodding towards the stairs.

"uh, four?" morgan asks, already not happy about what's about to happen.

"come on, that's the best we can do." the sheriff replies. "your team is double the size of my department."

all of you say goodnight to the sheriff as he takes his leave. you all sit in slightly uncomfortable silence before aaron speaks up about the sleeping situation.

"looks like we'll have to double up." he says, looking around the room at everyone.

"i'm not sleeping with reid." morgan says, his tone slightly humorous but mostly serious.

spencer gives a small look of fake hurt and you laugh at them both. penelope calls dibs on morgan, emily and jj call each other, and rossi volunteers to take spencer.

that leaves you and aaron to share a room, not that it's an issue though. it just means you'll either have to share a bed or one of you will have to sleep on the floor.

and not to be mean but he's older than you so he might need the bed more than you do.

it's very quiet on the way up to the room, he's probably thinking about something important. when you reach the room he opens the door immediately and places his things down on the stool instead of the bed.

"okay, i'll take the floor." he insists. "you can take the bed."

you shake your head at him before swiftly moving his belongings to the bed.

"no i'll take the floor and you can take the bed."

he huffs at your suggestion, wondering why you're being so difficult.

"i'm not letting you sleep on the floor." he firms, moving his things back to the stool.

frustratedly you take both pillows off the bed and toss them to the floor.

"i'm not sleeping on the bed if you're sleeping on the floor." you say crossing your arms.

"are you suggesting we share a bed?"

this catches you off guard as you struggle to get another sentence out.

"i- uh- that's not what i was suggesting sir."

he laughs at you calling him sir as you only do it when you're trying really hard to be professional.

"well then if that's not what you're suggesting... then i'll take the floor."

"wait- don't sleep on the floor." you sigh, giving in. "we can share... i don't want you sleeping on the floor."

he smiles slightly before moving the pillows back to the bed.

"sharing it is then."

you move to your bag to get some pj's when you realise that you had planned to sleep in just your underwear before you knew you'd be sharing a bed.

"what's wrong?" he asks, coming over to you. you must have had a worried look on your face without realising it.

"i uh- well... i didn't pack pajamas because i thought i'd be sleeping alone..."

he nods with a small hum sounding from his lips. the wind outside blows branches against the window, making you jump. his hand leaves your shoulder as he moves to his bag and unzips it, pulling out a really big t shirt.

a t shirt that's even too big for him.

"you can wear this... -but only if you want!" he affirms. "i just thought it might make you feel more comfortable sharing a bed."

you try not to look at him strangely but this side of him is weird and different. he's always made sure you're comfortable and okay but this time he's nervous about it.

"thank you... i hope it's not too much trouble."

he shakes his head 'no' firmly, stating that it's fine multiple times.

"i'm gonna go uh- change." you tell him, gesturing towards the en-suite.

the carpet under your feet feels scratchy as you walk over to the bathroom. yellow light flickers from the bathroom overhead lamp. you strip out of your warm day clothes and into the large navy blue t shirt aaron just gave you.

your reflection in the mirror feels sort of strange, seeing yourself in his shirt feels so odd. you turn the hot water on and wash the day off your face. soft footsteps make their way towards you and stop directly behind you.

"aaron?" you ask, your eyes closed and lashes dripping with water.

"yea don't worry, it's me." he says gently, reaching around you for a rag.

when you finally dry your face off he's moved to beside you, also washing his face.

"sorry to ask this but do you have any uh- any face wash?" he asks sheepishly. "i've heard bar soap isn't the best... and i left the one you showed me at home."

you think back to the time when you all had a case in a small town just like this one and stayed in a hotel that had 6 rooms and 3 bathrooms.

aaron's and your's rooms were connected by one bathroom and you caught him on the first night in the bathroom looking at his face. you had asked him what he was doing and he asked you why his skin was so irritably dry.

that night you let him use your face wash and he never went back.

"yea, i'm using a different one now but it's very similar." you reply, handing it off to him.

he pumps the product into the wet washcloth and begins to wash his face. the suds of soap accumulating on his cheeks.

the both of you stand in silence as you continue the nightly routine. after toning and moisturizing, you leave him in the bathroom to finish up. the full body mirror catches your eye before you can make it back to your bag.

his shirt. on you? it feels so unprofessional... but is it any different than a jacket or a hat? i guess not. it doesn't change that you feel strange in it though. he's your boss... sharing a bed already feels a step too far.

being professional is always something you strive for, in your previous job you were constantly treated unfairly. the only thing you had up on everyone was that you were very professional while most only pretended to be.

here at this job you just don't want to give anyone a reason to treat you with anything but the utmost respect. but with aaron it always feels like you're pushing the boundaries of professional and not so.

"you look nice." he says coughing awkwardly afterward.

"i'm just wearing a shirt a-"

"my shirt." he firms after cutting you off.

unsure how to respond, you quickly move to put your things away. you can feel all the heat rushing to your face.

why did he say that? why did he say it like that?

you hear him finally move toward the bed and he pushes the covers back. sitting down slowly, he pulls out the case file and some notes to start working.

"aaron." you scold, getting his attention. "you can do this in the morning, you need sleep."

he sighs and looks at you before putting the things back. he knows you're right, you're usually right. but how does he let you sway him so easily? with anyone else it would've taken more convincing. the affect you have on him that you don't even know about is alarming.

but just looking at you here, in his shirt, about to sleep next to him. he's fallen for you... and fallen very hard. is this the first time he's admitting it to himself?

the flush in his cheeks when you brush past him or the butterflies in his stomach when you grab his hand from something that made you jump.

the disappointment he has when you let go because it's "unprofessional".

what is he even thinking right now? butterflies? he's a grown man... a grown man with butterflies for his damn coworker.

he has to say something before someone else does, it's only gonna get worse from here.

"hey uh... can we talk?"

this question makes you freeze, what is it? what does he want to talk about? are you in trouble? is he upset? is it about the shirt?

"yea.. sure." you say with a voice so shaky anyone would notice.

"don't be nervous please, i'm not upset."

he noticed alright.

you nod and slide in next to him on the bed, covering your bare legs with the comforter.

"listen... i know you really want to be professional all the time. you know that i know about your last job... i will always treat you with the respect you deserve." he begins. "which is why i want to tell you how i feel about you."

you nod again, not sure what to say and not sure where this conversation is going.

"you make me feel things that i haven't felt in a long time... god this is so embarrassing." he says, putting his head in his hands.

"no please... it's not embarrassing. i'm listening." you whisper, reaching out for his hands that he reluctantly gives to you.

he sighs before continuing, these emotions clearly having an affect on him. his words scare you... all of you wants to run away but you just want him to be able to get it out.

"seeing you in my clothes made me realise i want to see you in my clothes all the time." he says, avoiding eye contact. "sharing a bed with you makes me want to be close to you all the time. doing our nightly routine makes me want to do these mundane things together all the time."

the things he's saying to you... you feel like you're going to have a panic attack. your heart is racing and part of you wishes that you didn't know any of this.

its bringing out all these emotions in you that are not at all professional. you dismissed emily when she assumed that you have a little crush on aaron. you told her that it's strictly professional... you told her that she was definitely wrong.

but she wasn't. she was right.

you'd blush when he'd tell you that you look nice. you secretly enjoyed how over protective he was when you went undercover.

"please say something."

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you see that he's looking right at you. his eyes are filled with all kinds of worry. he's worried you don't feel the same.

instead, you let go of his hands and kiss him. slowly. gently. but you can't hold back and neither can he. you can feel how hot his breath is as you softly bite his lip.

of all the things you thought you'd be doing right now, making out with your boss was not one of them.

his hands make his way to your sides as he lightly pushes you back against the bed, never breaking the kiss. you can taste the mint on his breath from just brushing his teeth. his lips are soft... he did tell you he hates having chapped lips.

the space between you two widens as he comes up to take a breath. his muscles tense as he holds himself up over you, his chest heaving up and down.

you've never seen him shirtless this close up before, well you've never seen him in boxers either so this is all a first.

"you're okay with this right? i know i kind of just made my way on top of you..." he whispers, not wanting to push any boundaries you're not okay with.

"aaron... i kissed you remember?"

"i know i just- i feel like this is going places and i want to make sure you're okay with it." his eyes divert from your gaze. "you trust me and i don't want to break that trust that we have..."

"i want this. i want you." you state, moving your hand upon his cheek. "you know i will tell you if something is wrong... and i know you will listen because that's the kind of guy you are."

"okay."

he shifts his weight onto one hand, snaking the other up under the shirt you're wearing. his shirt. the pressure of his grip on your hip makes you squirm.

"if you keep squirming i'm going to have to give you something to squirm about." he whispers against your ear.

it sends a shiver down your spine and you prop yourself up on your elbows for stability. he pushes your legs apart with his knees and holds them there.

"i need you to listen to me sweetheart, i know you can." he urges, moving the hand on his hip under your lingerie. "i'm gonna do one finger at a time and you're gonna be as quiet as possible. we don't want to wake our friends do we?"

you shake your head no and he hums in disapproval.

"we use our words here yes?"

"yes."

he responds by pushing one of his fingers in just like he said he would. it's been a long while since you've done anything like this, it kinda makes you nervous.

you instinctively try and push your legs together out of nervousness and he shakes his head, the weight of his knees holding your thighs down is too much to move.

"behave." he presses, pushing in a second finger.

a small whimper leaves your mouth as you come to realise just how big his hands really are. he leans down and locks your lips together again, picking up the pace of his fingers quite quickly.

"you're being so good for me sweetheart." he says after breaking the kiss. "though i knew you would be... you're always so submissive during work."

your eyes go wide at what he says but only for a second as he speeds up the pace again.

"oh don't think that i didn't notice, whenever i ask you to do something... you do it without question. sometimes i think you're too obedient angel, you can't trust everyone."

at this point you're struggling to keep your moans in as you feel your climax approaching. aaron doesn't seem fazed at all at how fast you're about to finish. he actually seems really really turned on.

a loud moan escapes your mouth and he quickly stops pumping his fingers.

"remember what i said." he scolds. "or i might have to remove these fingers and stick them in your mouth to get you to stay quiet. would you like that? should i stop?"

"no daddy, i'll be quiet."

"daddy?" he questions, taken aback by the new name for him. "is that what you wanna call me?"

you shake your head yes and he allows the non verbal answer despite wanting vocalisations. he picks the pace back up and you arch up into his fingers. you bite down on your index finger to keep quiet.

the sensation of what he's doing to you is so overwhelming that you can't hold it in any longer. he slows his pace as you orgasm on his fingers, not yet pulling them out of you. you bite down harder to try to keep quiet for him. this however does not keep you still as your body trembles through your climax.

he finally pulls his fingers out and licks them clean before returning his attention back to your face. when you let up on your finger you find that you've bitten down so hard that you've made yourself bleed.

"oh sweetheart, you're bleeding." he observes worriedly. "you've been so good for me, let's get that cleaned up okay?"

the feeling of cold air hitting your back makes you shiver as he scoops you up into his arms.

"what about you?" you ask, not wanting to leave him unsatisfied.

"you're so considerate angel, but i don't need anything else from you tonight." he admits, placing you gently down on the chair in the corner. "i'm proud of you for letting yourself be so vulnerable with me... and hearing your cute little moans was enough."

he places a small kiss on your forehead before retreating to the bathroom for a wet washcloth. droplets hit the floor as he walks back in with the cloth, now applying it to your injury.

"i'm gonna go take care of this... situation." he says, gesturing down to his boxers that are now showing just how hard he is.

before he turns away, you grab his wrist to stop him.

"let me do it." you suggest, hoping he'll want you to.

"not tonight okay?" he says, taking your hand into his. "i know that look... if i wasn't trying to be so responsible id let you. it's very late and you're definitely too fucked out for anything else."

"okay..." you whisper, not happy about the outcome of the night. he leaves for the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

there's nothing wrong with you right? why do you feel so weird...? you begin to panic as tears fall from your eyes, what is this feeling? so many negative thoughts rush through your brain all at once and you find yourself in a full blown panic attack.

aaron finally comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later only to be met with something that scared him more than he ever imagined.

you had slipped out of the chair and onto the floor, rocking back and forth as tears fell from your face.

"sweetheart what's wrong?" he asks, but you don't respond. you don't even look at him, it's almost like you don't even know he's there. "honey look at me."

he reaches for your hand and you flinch backwards slightly before letting him take it. you feel his fingers touch your chin and turn you towards him.

"hey, sweet girl... come back to me."

you shake your head slightly and attempt to scoot away from him. not fully realising that it's just him.

"it's just me... look." he whispers, opening his arms out for you. "that's it... you're okay."

you cautiously let yourself sink into his arms, nuzzling your face into his chest once you feel safe.

he pulls your legs around his waist gently and stands up with his arms on your back. you bounce slightly with every step he takes and the feeling you're having begins to fade away. he slides into bed without letting go of you, unhooking your legs from behind him. you watch as he lays back, unsure if you should go with him. he pats his chest and you listen, leaning forward against him.

"are you okay angel?" he asks, rubbing your back under your shirt. "can you tell me what happened?"

"don't know... i wanted to help..." you sob, grabbing at his shoulders. "i don't know what's happening."

just then he finally realises that he knows what's happening and it's happened before. not to this extent however and you probably don't remember it as you were on hard painkillers.

you had been shot in the thigh during a rescue mission, leaving you immobile and alone. you were down there alone for hours and hours. aaron was stressed out the whole time, it took everything in his power not to go down there and get you. the only thing that kept him out there was you speaking to him through the comms that you were okay and not to come in early.

when he finally got to you, he carried you out himself and got you medical assistance almost immediately. when he came back to the ambulance to check on you the paramedics had loaded you with painkillers, you definitely weren't yourself. he went to leave and you practically begged him not to leave you alone.

he didn't want to leave you alone, especially when you were hurt. you had this look about you that wasn't quite sad but he couldn't but his finger on it. your eyes were glossed over like they are now, you wouldn't let go of his hand. he thought it was strange that you cried little tears on the way to the hospital, not sad tears but overwhelmed ones.

during the night while sitting next to you sleeping in the hospital bed he did some light googling. not even he a professional profiler could figure out why you were more overwhelmed after the overwhelming situation than you were during.

that's when he discovered a subdrop, which he didn't fully understand. at first all he found was sexual things but then he found something that made sense. an excess of stressful hormones, can be caused by stressful situations or withdrawal after sexual interaction.

it's been a few months since then, not sure why it took him so long to realise what was happening.

"you're okay, you just need some sweet cuddles and kisses." he reassures, pulling the covers over the both of you. "and some sleep."

"promise?" you ask through your little sniffles.

"i promise sweetheart, you're okay... you're just fine."

eventually his little kisses and back rubs lull you to sleep way later than you probably should've been asleep. he watches as you sleep soundly, feeling guilty that he didn't recognise the signs earlier. seeing you so upset absolutely broke his heart just like that night in the ambulance.

and you'll never have to deal with a subdrop alone again as long as he's around.

[ahxtchner]

drunk talk / aaron hotchner

word count: 2k

summary: when you go out with the girls, they always get you drinking. designated driver emily (with an abnormally high alcohol tolerance) can't handle all three drunk girls on her own. so what happens when she calls up bau unit chief aaron hotchner to come get you?

cw: alcohol, worried about consent, hurt feelings, slight angst, sharing a bed, aaron being constantly worried, jack don't exist sorry

a/n: reader is shorter than aaron, reader is in a short dress, reader is also comfortable with the length of the dress. this might be unrealistic for some.

it wasn't very often that you got to go out with the girls. so tonight you made sure that you would have a good time. unfortunately that good time also got you absolutely wasted.

you had been texting aaron all night, letting him know how things were going and that you all were safe. he knows that you will be though, there's no way that four fbi agents won't be. but he likes to hear that you were safe anyways, he does worry about you.

looking over to emily holding her phone up to her ear, you attempt to listen to what she's saying.

"hotch, can you come get y/n?" she begins. "yes we've all be drinking but-"

she lets out an exasperated sigh, aaron's voice sounds through the phone speaker.

"yes i- aaron listen to me, i know how you feel about each other." she whispers, just quiet enough so that you can't hear the conversation. "i see the way you all look at each other, so just get over here."

you look at her strangely before stumbling to sit beside her.

"who was that?" you ask, your words slurring together.

"hotch, he's coming to get you."

your eyes go wide as you look back to penelope and jj who are having a drunk conversation of their own.

"aaron? coming... here? oh i- he can't... see me like this emily."

her hand lands on your back in a comforting fashion. the chill of her cold hands send shivers down your bare back. the dress you're wearing isn't even really something you'd wear, penelope bought it for you to wear tonight.

it's green, just plain dark green. could be satin, silk maybe? sleeveless, low back, and pretty short. would be the perfect club outfit if it wasn't so cold. it isn't that you look bad, in fact you look pretty good. the issue is that you say everything you're thinking when you're drunk.

you watch as penelope stumbles into the bar chair making emily burst out into laughter, while jj drunkenly tries to help her up.

a small giggle escapes your mouth as you watch them struggle to keep composure. you signal to the bartender for another drink, clearly you're not drunk enough to not be nervous to see aaron.

the bartender pours you something that's mostly tequila, almost all of it is actually. it burns as it goes down your throat, but you can feel it kicking in almost immediately.

"how.... how are you drinking right now?" jj asks you as she struggles in her attempts to help balance penelope.

finishing off the drink, you jump up out of your seat towards them. "i don't know! probably because aaron is coming and i don't want to remember how embarrassing this is gonna be!" you shout before laughing so hard you let out a snort.

the three of you burst into a laughing fit as emily shakes her head at you all. having fun but not wanting to entertain this behavior she brings everyone outside to wait for aaron.

no sooner than about a minute later, he pulls up in his car and rolls the window down. "hey" he says, leaning towards the open window. "come on, get in."

you skip over to the car and get in the passengers seat, waving goodbye to the girls as he drives off.

"you look nice." he mentions, only glancing at you for a second to keep his eyes on the road. "new dress?"

"yesss! penny bought it for meee!" you exclaim with a big smile.

the wrinkles in your dress caused by the seatbelt are bothersome. you tug at the seatbelt in different places before moving to unbuckle yourself.

"hey, don't do that. be good and keep it on until we get home." he says, taking one hand off the wheel to stop your hands.

you nod slowly, putting your hands under your thighs to keep from fidgeting. small hums come from your mouth as you pull up to his apartment. as you move to get out of the car you hear him, very sternly, tell you to stop.

so instead you sit tight and watch as he comes around to open the door for you. "can you walk?" he asks, holding his hand out for you to take. you nod yes and he helps you balance to get out of the car.

he takes note of how clumsy your walk is and picks you up instead. with your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, you can feel your dress riding up as he walks with you. he moves his hand down to cover your butt when he's met with bare skin.

he almost pulls back but remains so he doesn't drop you. adjusting his grip on you, his fingers touch a thin piece of fabric. a thong. he lets out a sigh of relief as he steps into the elevator with you.

not that it's his business anyways but he feels better knowing that his hands aren't somewhere they shouldn't be.

"aaron?" you ask, your head resting in the crook of his neck. before you can let him know that you're hungry, a loud grumble sounds from your stomach.

"oh? sounds like someone is hungry."

he unlocks his front door to a pitch black room, the light he turns on hurts your eyes. you hide your face in his shoulder and whine as you feel your stomach grumble again. he sits you atop his kitchen counter as he rummages around for something you can eat.

“how about some fruit?” he asks, pulling out a bowl of mixed fruit from inside of the fridge. you nod eagerly and take the bowl from his hands, popping a strawberry in your mouth. the back of your heels hit the island cabinets as you swing your legs. 

this situation is strange for him, the relationship that you two have hasn’t yet developed into something sure and strong. all you all know is that you like each other and sometimes hang out. has anyone else noticed what emily has? i mean you haven’t even kissed yet... surely it’s not that obvious. all of these things rack his mind endlessly.

you watch as aaron seems lost in his thoughts, wondering what he’s thinking about. slowly, you put the bowl to the side and take hold of the hem on your dress. the itchiness of the tags start to go away as you pull it up and over your head. a big laugh comes from your mouth as he covers his eyes very quickly.

“so dramaaaatic.” you note, reaching your arms out to him. an upset cry leaves you when he doesn’t put his hands down.

“sweetheart, i can’t.” he sighs, moving out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom. “you’re drunk.”

tears well in your eyes as you shake your head. did you do something wrong? why did he walk away? you hop down to follow him, underestimating how steady you can move around. before you even get out of the kitchen, your balance falters and you hit the ground hard. 

the loud thump gets his attention as he runs back out of his room to you. the tears falling down your face worry him immensely, he didn’t mean to make you cry. 

it wasn't that he didn't want to be close to you but you're so pretty and... drunk. he doesn't know what you're like drunk. but he was wrong to leave you alone right now, you need him.

"please don't cry..." he says quietly, moving down to your level. "look at me... please."

you feel his hand pull your chin up gently towards him. he looks so upset, but you can't figure out what's wrong with him.

"are you- did i do something?" you ask, using the back of your hands to wipe the wetness from your face.

he shakes his head but he doesn't look any less sad.

"i'm sorry, i-"

you interrupt him with a hand over his mouth before he can get his point out.

"no... uh- no 'sorry's' okay?" you fumble, only moving your hand away again when he nods like he understands. "tell meeee what's wrong!"

a small smile seeps across his face, he places his hand upon your cheek and you lean into it.

"you're so smart even when you're drunk."

you grin widely from his praise, drunk but still coherent enough to know what he's saying. he wipes the residual tears from your face and places his hands on your hips to pick you up.

"wait no- talk first!" you whine, trying to wriggle out of his arms.

"hey. stop it." he warns, trying not to be too stern. "we'll talk about it in bed."

this satisfies you enough to stop trying to escape his grasp. he reaches for the blanket to pull back the covers with one hand and keep his hand supporting you with the other. you feel him let go gently once you make contact with the sheets.

it's almost like a sensory overload sitting on his bed, the sheets are soft but the comforter is way softer. he watches as you pull the blanket up to your face and snuggle into it.

"talk now?" you ask, reaching for his hand.

he sits down on the bed facing you, not letting go of your hand. hesitation makes him silent, he seems nervous to say what he wants to say.

"i don't know... what kind of drunk person you are." he begins. you look at him in confusion. "i know how we feel about- you know about.. us. i wasn't sure if you would make advances while drunk and i- i'm not sure if i could contain myself if you made these advances while you look so... pretty."

you nod slowly, trying to process everything he just said. unfortunately it's slightly hard to process while inebriated.

"write... write it dowwwn." you tell him, doing a frantic writing motion with your hand. "i can read tomorrow yes?"

he smiles and you and stands up, leaving a kiss on your forehead before heading for his dresser.

"put this on." he requests, tossing you one of his big tee shirts before he leaves the room.

time seems to pass quite slowly as he's gone and you make yourself comfortable in his bed. you pull his shirt on over your head and smooth it out, feels way better than what you had on.

the restless drunk in you begins to get up from the bed when he finally comes back in the room.

"so impatient." he chastises, but laughing lightly anyways.

he slides into the other side of the bed and turns the lamp off. the darkness of the room feels slightly eerie, making you inch closer to him for comfort.

"you're not scared of the dark are you?" he asks you, giving in to your proximity.

you shake your head no quickly, burying your face into his chest. he smells good... like vanilla. it's comforting almost, this must be a new cologne.

"you smell nice." you whisper into his shirt.

a small hum rises from his chest, the vibrations rumble against your hand.

"get some sleep sweetheart." he tells you, purposely not wording it as a question.

his hands snake his way around your back and your legs automatically interlock with each other's. part of you is very awfully sleepy but the other part of you wants to stay awake as long as possible to enjoy this moment.

sleep however overtakes you anyway and you fall asleep in his arms like two puzzle pieces. like it was just meant to be this way.

[ahxtchner]

how aaron hotchner gives hugs

word count: 885 words

summary: different scenarios in which you might receive a hug from aaron hotchner

cw: small smut portion MDNI, grief, sad hotch

a/n: implies reader is less than 6ft tall

aaron is an elusive man, it's truly difficult to crack that hard shell of his. you know it when he has though because he hugged you once after a particularly dangerous mission.

it kind of caught you by surprise, made you wonder how long he's been comfortable with you like this. even though you were the one that had been in danger, his hug was desperate and almost like he was the one that really needed it.

you asked him if he was okay and he just nodded. part of you wanted to ask but most of you felt that it would be better to have silence.

when he let go it got kind of awkward, like he was embarrassed. you let him know that it was okay to need a hug and needing comfort isn't something to be embarrassed about.

then he did something unexpected, he asked you out for dinner. you said yes, of course you were always going to say yes but fraternising isn't exactly allowed.

the next time he hugged you was in front of your apartment after the date. he was kind of nervous about it but he took the leap and pulled you in. his left hand in the small of your back and his right hand behind your head. he let his chin rest against your head as he took in slow breaths.

you stayed just like that for a few minutes, the smell of his cologne filled your nose but didn't overwhelm your senses. his hands lingered upon you as he pulled back, seemingly reluctant to let you go. he wanted to stay with you, oh how badly he wanted to stay. but it was the first date and he couldn't do that.

he kissed your forehead and you said your goodbyes. you wanted him to stay just as much as he wanted to stay, but you couldn't ask that of him. just not yet.

the next time he hugged you was a few days later, cuddling in his bed. laying facing each other, with your face buried close into the crook of his neck. his arms placed around you strongly but not constricting. your legs are tangled in his as he leaves little kisses upon the side of your face still exposed to him.

he wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, being stone cold at work all day pushed his need to be soft at home. you were happy to provide that kind of comfort for him and he to you.

the next time he hugged you was the same day after dinner, in a more compromising position.

his arms pulled you close to his body, your skin directly in contact with his. he wanted to look at you, see how he was making you feel but he couldn't bring himself to let go of the hug. so he kept his face buried in your shoulder as he thrust up into you. he felt your nails claw at his back as your moans filled his ears. his hands roamed your back as he held you tightly.

when he started letting out moans of his own into your ears you knew he was close. you told him to cum for you, begged him to cum for you. it sent him over the edge as his hips stuttered and he released into the condom.

he didn't let go of you or pull out after he was done, he stayed like that with his arms around you tightly. little kisses on your cheek made you melt into him even more.

while he was running the both of you a bath, you noticed the scratches you left on his back. you tried to apologise profusely but he insisted it was okay. he told you that it was worth it to be able to hold you close in his arms in that way.

the next time he hugged you was less nice.

he came to your apartment and knocked on the door, it had been a few days since his ex wife's funeral. you had let him know that he could come by anytime, though you did think he'd call first.

you opened the door and he looked exhausted, the stains of the last few days worth of tears left on his face. a lot of what he is feeling is guilt, actually most of it is guilt.

the silence was deafening. you didn't really even know what to say, so you just opened your arms and let him move at his own pace.

a few seconds later he practically fell into your arms and let out the most heart wrenching sob you've ever heard from him. he needed you and you were there.

his tears drenched the back of your shirt but you didn't care. he clung onto you as you closed the front door behind him. afraid that if he let go, he might lose you too.

you see, aaron hotchner will never admit that hugs are his favourite form of physical touch. and he'll never be able to admit when he needs a hug. but he desires it, he needs that kind of love sometimes like we all often do. he thinks that a hug is the true emotional connector, he's learning to be vulnerable.

[ahxtchner]

your hotch work literally gave me physical butterflies from start to finish

if it doesn't make me feel things fr fr i won't post it. that's all i can write tbh

[ahxtchner]

dating aaron hotchner headcanons

word count: 754 words

summary: it's literally headcanons, that's all there is to it

cw: mature themes, mentions of sex, lots of fluff tho. cute domestic and mundane stuff. romantic hotch 4 ever

MDNI

at work

because he can't kiss you at work, he always has his eyes on you. longing to be off the clock with you

he loves to praise you and he knows that you enjoy it. never in front of the team though, it brings out too many emotions in him

he refrains from chastising you in front of the team, he'd rather bring it up in private

on cases you get separate rooms but he convinces you to sleep in his bed anyways

cases on crimes against women hit him harder since he fell in love with you as it only fuels his need to protect you

(for the girls) he hates when you have to do the interrogation in sex crimes cases as the unsub is always disgusting. it doesn’t bother you but he hates seeing those guys talk to you.

he refuses to let you go out in the field alone and tries not to worry about you when you’re not teamed up together.

he trusts you completely but it doesn’t keep him from being overprotective.

at home

when you stayed over at his the first few times, he preferred that you sleep in his room and he’d take the couch. apprehensive about intimacy

he eventually decided to sleep in the bed with you when he was alerted awake by you having a nightmare. 

you cuddle a lot at night, even if it's hot, even if you don't feel good. being close to you at night is what he craves.

but don't be mistaken, he gives you your space and enjoys his own space from time to time. but seeing you every day at work without being able hug and kiss you really makes him clingy at the end of the day

he really likes candles and will always light them at home. when he’s working on things, taking a shower, or just chilling in bed he always lights candles

you often get him new candles whenever you have free time travelling on cases because he melts them down so quickly

tries to act like he’s not a good cook purely because he doesn’t like the mess of cooking.

friday is movie night for you two... or it’s supposed to be movie night but when duty calls the movie can wait.

last friday you all we’re supposed to watch the Jaws trilogy but work is work

he's not a neat freak but he'd prefer no mess

intimacy and extras

his kisses can be rough when he's needy but soft when he's relaxed

he loves leaving love bites all over you in places that nobody can see but you and him.

sometimes he will carelessly leave one on your neck to which the team always bugs you about the next day

his hands roam up and down your back slowly when he hugs you, savouring every moment.

after cases when he's feeling really handsy, you'll shower together. sometimes he enjoys just the shower and other times he'll really want to make you remember that you all belong to each other

he's a very passionate lover, sometimes rough and almost animalistic. other times soft and sensual.

not only does he like to praise you at work but in the bedroom as well. he enjoys letting you know how good you're doing and using phrases like good girl and sweetheart to do so.

he's always checking in on you during sex to make sure you're okay. always reminds you of the safe word even though you've never had to use it.

he's big on aftercare, he'll carry you to the bathroom to clean you up. he'll get you some water and make you a snack all before cuddling you to sleep.

his number one priority when you're with him is making you feel safe. though he knows you can protect yourself he wants to protect you in the ways he can off the field.

his favorite candle scent is sandalwood vanilla by yankee candle but will enjoy anything you give him.

he loves loves loves to surprise you with flowers, any kind, whatever he can get his hands on. plus he thinks they make the table look nicer.

his favourite love language to give is words of affirmation

his favourite love language to get is quality time, since he doesn't get the chance that often.

he cares about you so much. as a friend, as a coworker, and as a partner. anything you asked of him, he would do it. he is truly infatuated with you

these are so cute i loved writing these out omg, lmk if you want more :)

[ahxtchner]

security / a. hotchner

word count: 1.9k

summary: you've fallen ill during work and aaron has convinced you to stay at his for the night. little did you know that your safety was in jeopardy

cw: blood, anxiety attack, sickness, injury, home invasion, fluff and angst

a/n: pronouns of reader not specified, no reader descriptions besides having legs, face, and arms. it's implied that reader is shorter than 6'2

tonight was unbearable, one minute you were hot and the next minute you were cold. sleep evaded you as you tossed and turned in the bed.m.

you wouldn't admit to yourself that you were sick even though aaron tried to tell you that you probably were.

the air in aaron's guest bedroom feels so stuffy, maybe you really are sick.

a bead of sweat dripped down your forehead as you finally decided to get up and take a cold shower. the guest bedroom doesn’t have a connected bathroom so you’ll have to use the one in the hall right across from the study. you stop in the hallway, thinking about whether this will wake aaron up or not.

sighing and deciding against it you head to the sink instead, splashing yourself with the icy cold water pouring from the tap. 

part of you felt like you should’ve just gone home instead of letting hotch talk you into not staying home alone. he just wouldn’t let you go home by yourself and you weren't uncomfortable with it. but you've only ever stayed the night at penelope's.

"hey stranger."

the sudden voice makes you whip your head around to see aaron standing in the doorway, running his hand through his hair.

"you don't look so good." he says, wiping the water hanging in your eyelashes. "come on, let's get back to bed."

he gives you a towel to wipe your face with as he leads you down the hall into his own bedroom. the air smells like vanilla and sandalwood, it's emanating from the candle on his dresser. looks like it's been lit for a while.

the sheets on his bed are messed up on one side, presumably the side that he sleeps on. he readies the other side and you look at him strangely, not sure if getting into your bosses bed is professional protocol.

"hey. we're not at work, just a friend helping a friend." he reassures you with a soft smile.

you cautiously climb into the bed and pull the covers over yourself. the nice cool cotton soothes your overstimulated senses.

he moves away from the side of the bed and looks towards the door before looking back at you.

"i'm going to go get you a cold wash cloth, i'll be right back." he notes, "don't go anywhere."

you realise that he's been gone for a few minutes when you hear a loud clang come from downstairs. you think, why is he downstairs, there's a sink up here?.

suddenly he moves quickly into the room, shutting the door behind him. he places the cold washcloth gently on your forehead before moving back again.

he opens his bedside drawer and pulls out his gun and his badge. noticing your slightly dazed, confused expression he sighs and turns towards you.

"there's someone in the house. don't worry, i will take care of it." he whispers, handing you his phone. "stay here, call the police. do not and i repeat, do not leave this room."

you look at the phone in your hands in shock before looking back up, only to discover he's gone downstairs.

the buttons on his phone feel smaller and blurrier than usual but you manage to press a few numbers. realising you actually called the right one when the operator responds. shakily, you bring the phone to your ear.

"oh- there's someone in the house, they broke in..." you start to say slightly dazed and pretty sleepy. "but! but... this.. is fbi agent aaron hotchner's residence and he is downstairs taking care of the guy.... just need someone to come get him..."

you tell her the address and she lets you know that someone is on the way.

very quickly you begin to hear sirens right outside the house and a good amount of loud conversation coming from downstairs.

feet pound up the staircase just before aaron swings the door open, making you jump. you take note of his bloody lip and try to sit up in concern.

"ah- no no no, i'm fine. i'll take care of it, don't get up." he says pushing you back down into the mattress gently with 2 fingers.

he goes to get a washcloth from the linen closet before returning to the room to use the connected bathroom.

you watch as he takes his tee shirt off, moving to get the washcloth wet to wipe the blood off his lip. the muscles on his back move smoothly as he moves his hands to wring the water out of the rag.

lost in your own thoughts, you don't notice that he can see you looking at him. he says nothing though, not wanting to embarrass you.

"okay, get some sleep. i'm going to the guest room, you stay here." he says, finishing his nightly routine.

you nod and can't help but feel a little strange. not entirely sure what you're feeling or why. disappointment maybe?

the night passes on and sleep evades you once again. ticking from the clock sounds through the quiet room, it reads 3:50 am.

wind shakes the trees outside the window and you shudder. you feel well enough to sleep but shaken up enough to not find the solace of sleep.

as an fbi agent these things shouldn't be shaking you up but you felt sort of helpless during the break in. your vulnerable state of illness kept your from truly feeling under control and that scared you.

you started to feel uneasy which made you get out of bed quickly. the swift movement makes you dizzy and you hit the floor with a thud.

a cry leaves your lips as your head pounds. you feel overwhelmed with everything that's going on, not even noticing aaron run into the room.

"hey... hey... you're okay." he whispers, kneeling down to your level on the ground. you haven't yet acknowledged his presence, not even noticing that he's in the room. "look at me."

his hand lands gently upon your face, pulling your chin up to look him in the eyes. you stare at him blankly for a moment before snapping out of your trance. your hands tremble slightly under his as your eyes finally meet his. you’re sweating, its hot, you’re dizzy, and it all just feels like a bit too much.

“there you are, lost you for a second."

the tear drop hanging from your cheek drips onto his hand as his eyes search your face for answers.

"how did you end up down here hmm?" he asks you softly, running the pad of his thumb over the moisture hanging from your chin.

your eyes have yet to leave his, trying to focus on him. yet your eyes find your way to the one thing in motion. his lips.

the cut across his lips is swollen. it hurt you to look at it, but you didn't quite know how to express it. a few silent tears fell from your face into your lap.

he felt your breathing pick up quite fast. seeing you like this worried him, you were always so calm at work and so very independent. the way that your hands gripped onto his forearms so tightly for stability was foreign to him. it was strange but it was highly alarming.

the last thing he wanted to do was profile you to figure out what was going on but he so badly wanted to make you feel better. it was very obvious to him that the break in was stressing you out, it was all over your face. but you deal with fear every day at work, with things way more freaky than a minor break in.

so what was it? do you not like being here at his home? you've been here before but you've never spent the night, you even accidentally fell asleep on movie night. that can't be it.

he thinks back to your demeanour at work. never one to ask for help but will take it anyways. very determined maybe a little but too much. you always took on too many things at once, didn't like people making decisions for you. you always wanted to be in...

control.

that's it. he realised that you think you had absolutely no control over the outcome of the break in. which he knew was untrue.

he thinks for a second before jumping into action.

"sweetheart... can you look at me?"

you comply almost immediately, looking to him for guidance and stability in this unsteady situation.

"what's going on inside that head if yours?" he asks as you relax into his hands.

his eyes travel to your knees, a rug burn present from where you fell.

a sigh leaves your lips as you want to speak, trying to regulate your emotions to calm yourself down. it's never really something you've been able to successfully do though.

"you're safe here, tell me what's wrong." he contends, moving to stand and bringing you up with him. he pulls your legs up around his waist and holds them there, walking you to the master bathroom.

the chill of the bathroom counter hits your thighs like a block of ice. it sends a shiver up your spine and all the way through your fingers.

he feels you shudder against him from the cold, reluctantly pulling away to tend to your injuries.

this isn't something he would normally do. you all have a very professional but friendly relationship. he cares about your safety and well being in a boss kind of way during work. but there is something so different about you being here into the late hours of the night, needing him to be there.

it bothered him, not in the bad way but in the way that made him frustrated with himself.

you two sat in silence as he cleaned up your rug burn, gently wrapping the wound in gauze.

the way his brows furrowed caught your attention, like he was thinking about something difficult. you didn't want to pry, you know he hated that.

"alright, let's get you back to bed for real this time." he says, moving you back into the bedroom and laying you down into bed.

his face looks softer, more relaxed than normal. it seemed a bit strange, not that you've never seen him look so but it was more a relieved kind of face.

you weren't exactly sure how you were feeling, but you know you don't want to be alone.

"aaron?" you ask to get his attention, "can you stay with me?"

something about the way you wanted him there compelled him to say yes. but it was the look on your face that told him you almost needed him to stay. despite knowing in the back of his mind that he shouldn't, he climbed into bed right next to you anyways.

you're too far into your mind to care about professionalism right now as you reach your arms to him. he sighs and pulls you in, knowing this will have to be addressed at some point. right now though, none of that matters.

as he listens to your breathing slow down, he leans into your touch a little bit more. actually relaxing just enough to fall asleep too.

tomorrow he'll deal with it, tonight it's just you.

[ahxtchner]

the missing planner / m. murdock

798 words

cw: awkwardness, really just awkwardness. not even sure what to call this because its not fluff lmfao

summary: you lose something important after bumping into someone on the street.

-

the sun blazed down upon the streets of hell’s kitchen as you rushed down the sidewalk. the copious amounts of papers and folders in your arms blew in the breeze of your walking pace. a bead of sweat dripped down your face, you’re late for an interview.

people whizzed by you as your pace quickened, your own thoughts drowning out the sounds of the city. you could’ve got a taxi... probably should’ve got a taxi. you pulled out your phone out of your pocket with your free hand, checking the time to see how much time you had left.

“ah shit!”

you collide with someone as you’re attention is on your phone, dropping all of your files on the ground. you look up to see a brunette man with sunglasses, confused as to what has just happened. 

“oh my goodness i’m so sorry....” you say fading off as you see his white cane gripped tightly in his hands. horror strikes your face as you realize that this entire encounter is your fault.

“are you okay miss?” he asks, reaching out to you.

you don’t see this though as you’re to busy trying to gather the files you dropped and the files you made him drop. sweaty, running late, and embarrassed you hand him a bunch of random files. rushing off and apologizing profusely you don’t even notice that you handed him your daily planner. he notices though, the extra weight in his hands is very much apparent. but he doesn’t say anything, he keeps quiet as you rush away with a feeling that he might crash into you again.

you rush down the sidewalk and fling the door open, the woman at the desk surprised by your vigor.

“am i late?” you ask probably a little louder than you should have.

the woman at the desk waves you in, guiding you behind her desk.

“no you’re not late!” she says with a laugh, “right on time actually, i’m karen. foggy- i uh i mean franklin will be interviewing you by himself unfortunately. our other attorney matt is out on his lunch.”

you notice that she felt kind of awkward saying franklin since it didn’t flow that smoothly. sitting down in one of- well the only chair in the “waiting area”, you smoothed out your slacks and wiped your brow of the sweat not yet dried. foggy pokes his head out of his office, waving you in. you bring the chair in with you, sitting it down in front of his desk and taking a seat.

“i’ve already looked at your files with matt yesterday, i just want to know what day this week you can start.”

a huge sigh of relief left your mouth and you felt your shoulders drop? ‘was i really that tense?’ you thought to yourself. 

“i can check! let me just.. um..”

you flipped through the unorganized mess of papers realizing that you had accidentally given the man on the street your daily planner.

“there something wrong?” foggy asks, wondering if he should snap his fingers in front of your face.

you snap out of your blank stare trance, thinking about how you should go about saying what happened without sounding wildly irresponsible.

“i uh- ran into a guy on the way here and all of our papers got mixed up, i accidentally gave him my planner...”

he nods before laughing a little, only ceasing when we sees your distraught face. you both hear the front door open and karen greet the person that just came in.

“that must be matt, he’ll be happy to know that you’re still here.” foggy says leading you out of his office and to karen’s desk.

matt already knew someone else was there before he walked in the door, but he wasn’t expecting the sudden increase in your pulse when you saw him.

“oh my god.. it’s him” you whisper under your breath, so quietly that only matt can hear. you don’t know that though. “this is so embarrassing..”

that’s when matt realizes that you’re the woman he ran into earlier today, his face suddenly turning quite red as he figures out they just hired the woman he ran into.

“here’s your planner... sorry about earlier.” matt says to you, sticking his arm out with the red planner in this hands.

you feel your face get hot as foggy and karen look back and forth at you two, trying to figure out your interaction.

“no it was one hundred percent my fault, just glad i can get it back.” you say, accidentally brushing his fingers while taking the planner from his hands.

everyone stands there in silence for a minute or two, trying to take in this amazingly awkward situation.

“so... i guess you two have already met.” 

[ahxtchner]

masterlist

this is always being updated :)

angst -  ♢ 

fluff -  ♡ 

smut -  ♤

headcanons - ☆

MARVEL

matt murdock

the night is rich ♢

sweet tooth  ♡

the missing planner

CRIMINAL MINDS

aaron hotchner

security ♢♡

dating aaron hotchner headcanons ☆

how aaron hotchner gives hugs ☆♤

drunk talk ♡♢

professional ♤♡♢

HOME FREE

tim foust

(coming soon)

[ahxtchner]

sweet tooth / m. murdock

572 words

cw: minor injury, fluff but non romantic. very platonic fluff. uses she/her 

summary: your early morning activities wake up matt.

-

sunlight bores through the windows of matts apartment as the morning comes to light. you snuck in while he was sleeping to use his kitchen. he knew you'd be here of course because you asked him if nelson and murdock could support the local public school's annual bake sale.

he just didn't know how early you'd be there

the sweet smell of cinnamon wafts through the air and into his nose. the smell so strong it woke him right up.

'she's here early' he thinks to himself, pulling himself up out of bed.

when you asked him if the firm would support the local school's bake sale, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest at the opportunity to help. then when you asked if you could do some baking at his place, he was sure that his heart might explode.

the thought of you at his home, doing something so domestic made his heart skip a beat. he fought off these thoughts, you were just baking after all and he didn't even know if you ever thought about being more than friends.

"y/n..."

you turn around to see matt standing in the doorway of his room, his boxers sitting very low on his hips. the smell of whatever is baking in the oven distracts him too much to notice your slight heart rate increase.

"hi matt, good morning. hope i didn’t wake you up.” you say, lightly mixing the batter in your hands.

he listens to your heartbeat from afar, its slow and light. almost non existent. but that’s you, quiet. his feet take him closer to you and right past you, leaning down in front of the oven.

“what are you baking in there?” he asks you, placing his hands upon the warm oven door. the sounds of something bubbling in the oven fill his ears as he tries to listen to the sweet dessert in there.

you smile and put your hand atop his shoulder. his skin is slightly damp, like he’s been standing in a sauna for a few minutes. he shudders at the coldness of your hands against the warmness of his skin, forever wondering why you were so cold.

the timer rings on the counter making matt jump up and stop it before you can get your hands on it. he steps out of your way so you can open up the oven, the sweet cinnamon smell overstimulating his senses. 

“ah- ow..”

matt lets go of the timer and grabs your arm as you place the very hot dish atop the stove.

“did you burn yourself?” he askes, his voice laced with concern. you give him your hand, wincing as his runs his calloused fingers over the fresh burn. “let me get you some ice.”

“matt i can-” he cuts you off by lifting you up to sit on the kitchen island, handing you the ice pack wrapped in a grey kitchen cloth.

he picks up the bowl and mixing spoon that you had previously sat down on the counter and begins mixing exactly like you had been. you watch as he slowly folds the batter back onto itself. 

fold. mix. fold. mix.

“i didn’t know you know how to bake.” you said, blocking out the strangely intense pain of accidentally touching the side of the oven.

he smiles at you as he mixes, staying silent for a minute or two before saying something.

“i don’t.”

[ahxtchner]

the night is rich / m. murdock

1.3k words

cw: SA themes but slightly vague

warnings: all angst, literally all angst, blood, knives, violence, very unedited

summary: you get attacked on your way to matt’s

MDNI

-

lights flicker above you in the small chinese takeout spot on the corner. matt texts you incessantly, wondering how long it’s gonna take until you leave the establishment with the food. 

the white plastic bag of food landed itself on the counter and the steam emanating from it left condensation on the counter. you grab it and leave out the door, leaving a thank you in the ears of the chefs and cashier. also forgetting to let matt know that you’re leaving and are on your way to his place.

wind rushed through the air, it rustled the plastic bag in your hands. you grip it tightly, crumpling the red ‘thank you’ printed on the bag repeatedly. 

the breeze is cold.

the night is rich

like fudge and jeff bezos. actually not like jeff because this is the good kind of rich.

you round the corner onto matt’s street, with an unfounded pep in your step. completely unaware of the strange man following you quite closely. you feel a hand grab your arm, stopping you in your tracks. suddenly realizing just how far you are away from matt’s still. 

the figure pulls you into the nearest alleyway, so harshly that you drop the bag of food. you look at it as the man pushes you against the brick wall, the chow mien fallen out of the container and getting cold on the sidewalk.

“what’s a pretty girl like you doing out at this time?” the man asks, holding your neck against the wall. 

you don’t answer, all your attention focused on the food getting cold in the breeze.

in the rich night.

“if you’re not gonna comply.... then i’m gonna make you comply.” 

his words bring your out of your trance and your head snaps back to him. he smiles at you menacingly, his rancid breath in your face making you grimace. a knife comes from seemingly nowhere, now in his hands when you realize that you aren’t alone. 

your heart races fast as you think about matt back at his place, waiting for you to come with dinner. the man pushes you down and you hit the concrete with a thud. his friends (that you could sense were there) finally make themselves known, standing over you. one with a bat and the other with nothing but his fists. he was way bigger than you, well they were all bigger than you and they were all very determined. the one with the knife leans down and cuts your dress open while the other two held you down. you feel the knife on your stomach cutting you open quite deeply, blood pooling down around you sides. a strangled cry comes from your lips as the one with the bat attempts to silence you.

“we have to debilitate you somehow little one, can’t have you strong enough to fight back.”

far, way down the street up in his apartment, matt is calling you when he hears a faint cry. a cry that sounds just like you. he rushes to put his suit on and heads out the window, into the night to find you.

your breathing is ragged as you feel the men’s hands on your body. the sights around you are disgusting, and you want to be more alarmed by their vulgarity but the continuous deep cuts that are being made on your body are harder to ignore. tears fall down your face, making one of them kick you in the head. 

“your pathetic cries are making it harder for us”

 the smell of your favorite takeout fills matt’s senses as he heads towards the source. as he gets closer he starts to smell blood, a lot of it actually and something else.... something blood curdling. he turns down the alley, feeling his foot step in something mushy. 

noodles.

he senses multiple figures and heads down the alley, he hears your strangled breaths and he rushes closer.

“get away from her.” he says angrily, gritting his teeth.

through your slight consciousness you hear matt. you also hear many grunts and thuds. you wonder if he’s okay, if he’s winning. you whimper trying to cover your deepest wounds with your newly free hands, the cold air making you shiver. 

the noise finally stops and a figure comes down to your level, holding your head in their hands.

“matt?” you ask lightly, not able to muster more than that.

“i’m here sweetheart, it’s me.”

he looks at you with sad eyes, feeling you tremble in his arms. the fear radiating off your body breaks his heart. he checks your body, trying to figure out if they touched you in your most sacred places. when he determines that they did not he holds you in his arms, swiftly heading back to his apartment.

“stay with me ducky, eyes open okay?” he whispers into your skin, trying to get you to stay conscious.

your eyes strain open per his request, they feel very heavy though. you body is telling you to close them, begging you to close them. you almost don’t notice the smell of matt’s apartment in your nose, the smell of a candle that has been put out in the air. 

he lays you down on his bed, his warm touch leaving you momentarily. he swings the medicine cabinet wide open in anger, grabbing the gauze and the tools that you usually use to patch him up. he thinks about how he found you nearly naked in an alley way with three men standing over you. his knuckles turning white as he grips the edges of the sink.

rushing back to you he begins to clean your wounds, the cries coming from you as the rubbing alcohol soaks into your skin makes his eyes well up with tears.

he should’ve gone out when you didn’t answer his texts or his calls. but the night tonight... the night was rich but it wasn’t anymore.

“did they touch you?” 

you look at him, dazed and confused. he saw them on you.

“you know what i mean.” he says quite sternly, “did they touch you?”

the memories of the incident threaten to slip away as you try really hard to recall what you had just been through. 

he wants so badly to hold your hands and stop your shaking but he has to stop the bleeding on all your injuries. he hears your heartbeat increase significantly as he watches you think about what you had just been through.

“i don’t know! i don’t know! i’m sorry..” you say through pained cries, thinking about it exhausts you. thinking about anything right now is exhausting.

tears fall from his eyes, feeling you in so much pain. the smell and taste of salt overwhelming his senses. he finishes bandaging you up, freeing his hands to hold you close. carefully inching around your injuries, he lifts you up and places your head atop the pillow.

you feel the soft covers fall over your body, the sounds of him taking his suit off fill your ears.

“matt...” you whisper through strained vocal chords, he turns around to face you. 

he can tell you’re weakly holding your arms out to him.

“one second ducky, i’ll be a lot more comfortable to hold when i’m not wearing something so hard.” 

finally he lays down in bed next to you, pulling you in close. he feels your little hands grip him quite hard, nothing he can’t handle. his hand snakes his way to your back, tracing little circles to calm you down. when your heartbeat slows to nearer what it usually is, he decides to speak.

“i’m sorry i- i wish that-” he tries to say with a sigh. he’s never been good at accurately describing what he’s feeling, its hard. “i should’ve been there to keep you safe. i wasn’t... but you will never feel like this again. i promise.”