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Monique vs Everybody: The Misogynoir Debate

In light of the recent Monique/Netflix squabble, are black men ignorant to misogynoir?

Him

To me, this issue is deeper than misogynoir in today's society. That is just one of many possible quarrels that people could have chosen to dispute in this situation. The problem here is not that black men do not understand black women or vice versa. The real problem is that people are attempting to dictate how all people should feel at any given moment. Monique’s feeling of being devalued by Netflix has zero to do with misogynoir. So, how has that argument broken out in the midst of a completely separate issue? Because all people want their causes to matter equally to everyone else just as much as it matters to them. Sorry to say, but that’s impossible. Society’s misogynoir issue stems from our need for our egos to be acknowledged and appreciated. Monique made the same mistake that we all make from time to time; she got caught up comparing herself to others. The business that she is in is based completely on consumer attention. At the moment, Netflix did not feel as though she would garner enough attention to offer her the money she thought she deserved. This idea of what she deserved was based solely on her comparing herself to others and wanting what they have. She was not denied the opportunity. She turned it down because her perception of who she believes she is was attacked, therefore causing her to lash out. With her being a public figure more people were privy to this information. This, in turn, caused a rift once those who empathized with her realized that everyone did not share in their discontent. Now they feel attacked, transference occurs, and strife begets strife. It’s a never-ending cycle of self-sabotage and it completely destroys any chance of victory on any front.

Her

Yes. Not all but too many are. Black women don’t have the luxury of choosing which one comes first being black or being a woman. Both are equal. Skin complexion, hair texture, hairstyle, class, sexuality, body shape, education, etc. are in fact the defining characteristics that in my experience one has to be deemed as “valuable” or “desirable” to the majority. This conversation isn’t new, to me. We know that black people and women continue to fight for equality as we speak. Unfortunately, it’s obvious that MoNique is not valued or desired as a comedian but many are forgetting that black women in the entertainment industry are underpaid in comparison to white men, black men and white women. We watch our mothers, grandmothers, sisters; and friends experience the very things that are often dismissed in society by jokes, assumptions, and a lack of self-accountability.

The most interesting thing about the term misogynoir is that you don’t have to be a man to be one. My initial thought was to skip to a solution but the solution starts when people see the problem. I understand that ignorance isn’t always a choice however after reading this it will be for some. As a living and breathing black woman, I can confirm that misogynoir is real.

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