allabout-theoldguard

[allabout-theoldguard]

YTA for not mentioning the 26F you almost got captured as well if it hadn’t been for her backing away from the mission.

I [250M] allowed myself and my friends [954M, 951M, 6732F] to be captured and used as lab rats by a pharmaceutical company because I thought it could end disease and also find a way to finally kill us. AITA?

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I probably won’t be able to squeeze it into this WIP but god do I ever want to talk about Nile and Quỳnh going clothes shopping 

[allabout-theoldguard]

what if malta isn’t a sex thing what if there’s like. a family of sea turtles joe and nicky have been tracking for generations (or they assume it’s the same family because it’s fun to think it is) a la peter and rosemary grant and they time their visits when the babies will be hatching so that they can name them after friends they’ve made in the time since they’ve last been there. they camp out laying on their bellies in the grass just above the beach with binoculars dressed head to toe in khaki with enormous brimmed hats and the first baby turtle that hatches the next time they go after the lab is named nile. the look nicky gave joe in the lab was because he was thinking of the year joe was already crying because he is full of love and feelings and it’s always so beautiful watching all those babies come to life and then he tripped and face planted in the wet sand and nicky laughed at him and joe cried literally for another hour

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Crim, sis, I'm never not thinking about Joe racing to Nicky when Merrick's men blast open the door of the safehouse. He wanted so badly to shield him and protect him or fight with him because, obviously, this is going to be fucking bad and if he's at least close to Nicky, maybe they won't get separated right?

But then, he gets shot down and he reaches for Nicky, who catches him while he dies and makes sure his arms are wrapped securely around Joe before he gets shot too.

OR Joe gets shot down and he still reaches for Nicky, but Nicky gets shot in the temple and he goes down too and they end up lying on the floor with their hands reaching for each other. But they aren't close enough so their hands are just holding nothing and they are absolutely powerless in what is going to happen to them.

[allabout-theoldguard]

I love this!

HOW TO WAKE YOUR JOE UP: the dos and don’t to wake the Sleeping Beauty — Manual provided by Nicolò di Genova

Notes about the author: Nicolò di Genova is a 24 year old sleep-deprived student. His expertise on the Joe Al-Kaysani species comes from three years of being roommates and a total of six years of friendship. Nicolò still lives with his Joe, perpetually pining.

Customer Reviews:

“A must have. I’d have probably gone mad without this, one time I thought he was dead.” —S.Le Livre

“The best and only attempt to transform a magical ritual in an exact science, with mixed results. The second half of the guide is severely lacking in feasibility. Still, a valid attempt which can only be appreciated by the members of this community.” —Lykon

“Warning: Joe will be disapponted when he’ll realise you’re not Nicky.” —Quỳnh

“The day I see Joe on time for his 9am class will be the day I buy this book.” —A.Scythian

“I thought you were joking about this. [SPOILER: Just… ask him out??? END SPOILER]” —N.Freeman

{Notes: this is the second edition of the Manual, see the appendix to find the differences between the editions. Following certain events, some parts have been erased, others have been added.}

DOS AND DON’T:

Keep reading

[allabout-theoldguard]

Joe would definitely never!

Nicky, probably at some point of time: Not all men? You’re right. My HUSBAND, the LIGHT OF MY LIFE, the literal air in my lungs, Yusuf Al Kaysani, would never do this. 

[allabout-theoldguard]

Joe and Nicky: Stormy by Hedley

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As funny as I find this I think it was more like “Are you leaving anyone behind? Am I taking away someone wife? Fuck, why did this have to happen now?!”

Mkay so I did not see the tags until I went to add my own lol

I’m just gonna leave it so I don’t have to come up with something else to say.

can i just say that this is funny as FUCK

 LIKE

this is the first time they’re alone together in the whole movie (not counting when Booker was half blown up) and instead of just asking if she has family our boy really saw his chance and TOOK IT 

[allabout-theoldguard]

Why did this make me imagine Joe feeding Nicky from his hands?

Nicky: When I say I'm “feral”, it doesn't always mean I'm angry.

Nicky: It usually just means I'm stupid and if you give me food you'll earn my trust and I'll follow you around.

[allabout-theoldguard]

Lykon’s role would’ve been to chaotically encourage everyone at different times.

Lykon: That sounds awesome, Andromache, we should do that!

Lykon: Mmm, Nicolò does make an excellent point, we could die from that and be in pain for several hours.

Lykon: You’re right, Quynh! YOLO!

The concept of YOLO for immortal beings is so funny I had to include it.

Joe: We all have a role on this team.

Joe: Andy and I come up with the bad ideas, Nile and Nicky explain to us why they’re bad ideas, and Quynh and Booker convince us to do them anyway.

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I love the ones where his brothers are named after other people played by Luca. Like Primo and Mickey. I have not watched any of these movies but I find it funny.

I’m honestly a little in love with the handful of names in rotation for Joe and Nicky’s siblings in like, every single fic that features them. The fandom’s own unofficial but very clearly universal kaysanova siblings extended universe 

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The Old Guard + Greek words for love | (insp.) 

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You know what #467815 of the things I love about The Old Guard fandom is?

We’ve all agreed Nicky and Joe never tried to convert each other.

Instead, they REAFFIRM each other.

When they debate god, it’s the same being of love. When they talk of prophets, they value them all and know the scripture in multiple languages.

When Nicky’s wooden rosary finally rots away, Joe gets him a new mother-of-pearl one. When Joe’s prayer mat (he’s emotionally attached to it, okay) becomes threadbare, Nicky finds his new one. The Catholic Bible sits next to the Quran on the shelf in one of their many hideouts. Joe understands Nicky’s need to sit and ruminate on guilt. Nicky fasts with Joe during Ramadan and cooks Halal foods.

You guys just really GET IT. The idea that two different religions can compliment each other. You guys are the best.

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One of my favorite subreddits.