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The Humans by Matt Haig

I have roughly 8-10 assignments I should be working on and a butt load of stuff to do before I leave for London, so obviously I spent my entire day reading.

I’ve been on this book for a while, mostly because I’ve been bogged down with schoolwork, but I just happened to pick it up while I was eating my lunch today and at the last spot I left off at the plot had begun to thicken considerably. That, combined with a heavy amount of responsibility I’m trying to dodge, led me to finish roughly 2/3 of this book in a few hours. 

There isn’t exactly a genre I prefer over another, but Sci-Fi for sure is among those that I rarely gravitate towards. I have Doctor Who to thank for broadening my horizons to the sci-fi genre. Previously I assumed it was all about nerdy pseudo-science that lacked any kind of substance, but alas I have been proven wrong on multiple occasions, this book being one of them. 

The plot of this book focuses on an alien that’s sent to Earth to erase all traces of the discovery of the Riemann Hypothesis, which is a proof that would advance the human race far beyond what we’re prepared for and result in our ultimate destruction. The alien possesses the body of the mathematician that solved the hypothesis, Andrew Martin, and is set to the task of not only erasing the documents that explain the hypothesis but also anyone who might have information or knowledge of the discovery, including friends and family. Upon arrival the alien (who is never actually named) finds the human race repulsive, but as the story continues he realizes that there is more to the human race than he had initially believed. This causes him all sorts of problems with his “bosses” (who are in constant contact with him due to their advanced technology) as he begins to empathize with the humans and lose track of his mission. 

Overall I was happy with the book. It had high ratings so I definitely went into reading this with certain expectations. I did, however, think that some aspects were a bit predictable and contrived. As I’ve mentioned before, sci-fi isn’t something I typically read or watch, but I felt like the overall plot line was standard (alien life form comes to earth thinking humans are terrible but then realizes that our capacity for love makes us beautiful.) It wasn’t particularly hard to realize that the book was going in this direction after the first few chapters. However, it did keep me on my toes with regards to the implications of the protagonist’s changing opinions and his actions.

The writing style was iffy for me. Being that the protagonist is from a civilization that is supposedly far more advanced than ours and completely lacking in emotion, I would have expected his inner dialogue to be less stylistic. There was this constant conflict between him trying to be stoic but also incorporating a lot of similes and metaphors. Similes and metaphors are used to elicit empathy and understanding from the reader, so you’d think an alien life-form from a society completely lacking in passion wouldn’t utilize them. However, since this is written as if the narrator is telling the story to the reader after the fact, his character development would allow for more flowery language. I have no idea if this was intentional on the author’s part, but it was interesting nonetheless. 

To summarize I would consider this to be a pretty run-of-the-mill sci-fi novel. It’s well-done for the most part, but I think in the end it is pretty standard of what you would expect from a book of this genre. Is that good or bad? I haven’t a clue, but if anyone is looking to explore this genre a little bit, I would highly recommend this as a starter. 

1.Did it capture my attention? (.75/1)

The writing style is really easy to follow and the plot well-paced. Had I not had a lot of other responsibilities to attend to over the past few weeks I would have definitely finished this earlier. 

2. Did it stick with me? (1/1)

I think the strongest part of this book is the amount and the quality of the commentary on the human condition. One of the draws of sci-fi is that it builds this completely crazy situations to explore what it means to be human. Simply by reading the title you can tell that this book focuses a lot on that aspect. And most of what Haig comments on are things that I haven’t necessarily paid attention to before but do now. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

As I mentioned already this book pointed out a lot of things about being human that I didn’t notice before. So yes, it did give me a new perspective on my life. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.5/1)

In general I found that I didn’t have a lot of attachment to the protagonist, but I don’t believe Haig’s intent was for the reader to like the narrator. The story is more about the family of the mathematician, so any connection or emotion I felt towards any situation or character revolved around those characters. Even then, though, I didn’t find myself all that emotional at any point. 

5. Was it original? (.75/1)

As far as my personal experience in reading goes, it was original. I loved the premise of the book and how it opened up a lot of different avenues to understand people. It attempts to answer a lot of questions I think many people have about humans in general but are too afraid to ask or find out about. The world-building was a bit lacking. Upon finishing this book I read a few reviews and the most negative review mentions how the science and world-building was horrific. I don’t know if I would take it that far but I wasn’t incredibly impressed with the explanation of the “science”. But again, I don’t think the author’s intent was to have the reader focus on the new and crazy lifeforms/technology that this book included. Yeah it’s a sci-fi but some sci-fi focuses more on the science and others more on the characters (think Smith, not Tennant.) It’s a matter of preference, and I just happen to prefer the latter style over the the former. 

Total rating: 4/5 stars

As always send a message my way if you’d like to discuss this further, or if you have any recommendations, or want recommendations, etc. 

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The Mara Dyer Trilogy by Michelle Hodkin

I binge read all of these so I figured it would make more sense to review them all at once. I'll try to keep this spoiler free. 

How. Do. I. Begin?? 

Uhhh…

I guess I'd like to begin by apologizing to any teenage male who has read this series. Honestly I don't know how you did it. The love interest in this series was cringe-worthy at best. Nowadays people bitch about how women are held to such high expectations because they're supposed to be pretty and thin and this and that and the other thing. Magazines portray women that are completely unattainable as the average, the standard. It's bull shit. I know. Except… does that mean it's ok to do the same to men? Manic pixie dream girls have become common in literature and film, but it seems all too often that both sexes are affected by these tropes. Women get the manic pixie dream girl, men, let's say, get "The Boy Wonder". You know exactly what I'm talking about. They're the men you read about in YA Romances. They're the ones who have no flaws other than caring too much about their girlfriend. They're handsome and noble and smart and rich and every girl wants to date them and every guy is jealous of them. Think of Edward Cullen. I honestly didn't think it was possible someone could make a male love interest more idyllic than Edward Cullen, and yet somehow Hodkin pulled it off. The love interest in this book, in my firm opinion, is ridiculous in his perfection. He is … … handsome, muscular, well-dressed, confident, good in bed, smart, rich, noble, caring, strong, and if that wasn't enough already, he's fucking British. There's this really hilarious quote from the last book that I just adore because it epitomizes everything that this character is, and out of context it sounds completely ridiculous but I'm not lying it's 100% serious in the book.

"'…you are the embodiment of the Hero. You don't have to learn to become good at anything. You simply are the best at everything…If you aren't killed, you might actually live forever. You have every gift…'" (Hodkin 157)

So I'm not crazy and this is an actual problem that I've noticed in books. It's pretty much the exact opposite of what you see when you watch a movie. Usually you have this average-looking guy falling in love with this bombshell girl, and then guys expect to have this shit happen in real-life. If you don't believe me, try watching Lost in Translation and tell me that an average shmuck like that can hook a girl like Scarlett Johansson. No. Absolutely not. Books have become the exact opposite of that, though. Main girl whose pretty average looking falls in love with this handsome, mysterious boy who is devastatingly devoted to her. Cue the eye-roll. This shit does not happen in real life. But ugh, it's so entertaining to read. It's like emotional crack. 

Anyway that was my main beef with the series. If you like YA Romance, I'd highly recommend this. Some people say they don't really "relate" to the main character, which yeah I can understand but that doesn't mean she wasn't kind of awesome. There's absolutely no substance to it, so if you're looking for a book that's going to change you at all I'd recommend looking elsewhere. 

*A really good segue into an actual review……*

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

I couldn't put them down. Actually. I'm so glad I decided to read these at the beginning of my semester otherwise I probably would have failed a few tests simply because I couldn't think about anything other than these books until I finished them, which is in a way pathetic because there's so little substance to these books. But they're so heavily plot-driven that they constantly keep you wondering what will happen next.

2. Did it stick with me? (.75/1)

I pissed off all of my friends because for about another week after I finished reading these I could not stop talking about them. They'll run through my mind every once in a while, usually when I'm trying to make myself feel bad about not having more enthusiasm for books of higher literary quality, but oh well. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (0/1)

These books aren't mean to teach you anything. The protagonist has zero moral code, as does the love interest, and they're both the most important characters so it's safe to say that the book isn't really meant to have any kind of lesson behind it.

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

There were certain chapters that I had visceral reactions to. And it's probably more of a personal mentality than anything else that I had those reactions, but aside from that I did have a lot of highs and lows while reading these books where it was appropriate to. 

5. Was it original? (.5/1)

There were bits of this book that were very standard of YA Paranormal Romance. The type of romance between the characters is similar to that of other books in the genre, as was the love interest himself. The lack of parental guidance was also something you saw in this book that you can find in basically every YA book.  I did, however, think the protagonist was kind of refreshing. You don't often see the main character as the villain, but this offered a little bit of a rare perspective. It makes a really good point that the villain of a story never considers themselves a villain. Everyone thinks they're doing what's best, and I suppose most of what we deem to be good and bad is based upon how society in general will view it. Mara was completely unapologetic about who she was and what she wanted by the end of the book (as was the love interest) and didn't really give a shit about what anyone had to say about it. And you can argue that her decision was good or bad, because in the end she made the decision that was best for her, but at the same time it was probably the worst decision for the rest of the world. The way that YA books usually end are very neat. Every integral character survives and is relatively unscathed while the bad guys either die or disappear and the main problem is completely resolved. And this book definitely has that characteristic, but there's this bittersweetness to it in that you're not really sure if a happy ending for the main character is a happy ending for the reader. As the reader you aren't necessarily on the side of the protagonist(seems oxymoronic, I know), but I thought it added a really interesting dynamic to the story that I don't often see.

Total rating: 3.25/5 stars

If you have any opinions about this book or what I had to say that you would like to share or discuss please shoot me a message! Also if you have any recommendations for books let me know.

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The Gods of Nowhere by James Tipper

Let me begin by giving a wholehearted apology to JK Rowling for having bought this book. Even if the story was in no way inspired by the Harry Potter series, it would still be shit. Let's play a game called "Spot the Parallels", shall we?

-A boy who is weird for reasons he is not sure of discovers he is actually a sorcerer

-The boy has no family, as they were both killed when he was very young

-There is a dark, powerful sorcerer, the most powerful sorcerer of all time, in fact, that is responsible for killing the boy's parents 

-The sorcerer is also trying to kill the boy

-The boy is in some way related to the sorcerer

-The boy is "The Chosen One", meaning he is the only thing in the entire fucking universe capable of destroying the sorcerer

I'm not going to go on, because those are the main points and anything else I can point out is just nitpicking. Essentially there isn't any way that this isn't based on Rowling's books. To be frank, it is the Harry Potter series thrown into the context of Halloween, but without any redeeming characters or valuable life lessons, a superfluous and incredibly inconvenient romance, and cringe-worthy witty banter. 

1. Did it capture my attention. (.25/1)

There was a lot of draw to this novel initially. The premise of the story is interesting so that kept me going through about the first half. About a third of the way through the book I started noticing the parallel's between it and Harry Potter, and from that point on my attention was set on how similar the two were. I gave Tipper the benefit of the doubt, though. Maybe this was published sometime either before or during the time the HP books were. It wasn't. This was published in 2013, years after the release of the final HP book (2007). 

2. Did it stick with me? (0/1)

no

edit: it did I cringe daily about how terrible it is

3. Did it teach me anything? (.25/1)

I liked how it's based on the original stories of Halloween. There was a little to be learned about that, I suppose. However as far as any valuable life lessons go this book has about as much as reality TV. 

4. Did it make me feel? (0/1)

Yea, annoyed.

5. Was it original? (0/1)

I almost gave it some credit for originality, truthfully. Despite the fact that the plot of this novel is in no way original, the world building was. HOWEVER, what needs to be mentioned about this book is that it's based heavily on the folklore of Halloween. Much of the story is based on the stories on which Halloween originates, so even the parts that make this book original aren't even original. And you can argue all you want about what is actually original vs what's simply inspiration, but the small, minuscule credit I would give this book for it's "originality" isn't even worth mentioning when it so much of this book isn't Tipper's own creating. 

Total rating: .5/5 stars

It was bad, obviously. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, really (I'd recommend it to someone who hasn't read HP, but in the off-chance that they haven't it's probably because they don't like the premise of the story, in which case they'd dislike this book equally as much). I'm sorry if anyone liked it. I'm not sorry about disliking it. :/

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Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Hooray for winter breaks!! In terms of my reading habits this semester has been pathetic. I managed to slip in my first A.S. King book, Ask the Passengers, as well as Patrick Ness's A Monster Calls. Sad, I know. I would do reviews on them however since it's been so long since I've read them I don't believe any review I give them will do either very much justice, so I'll just pick up where I'm at now. With the end of classes came an entire week of freedom before finals week began, which of course instead of studying translated to reading as much as I possibly could. I hadn't planned on it but I began listening to the score for this and it had me hooked. Of course the movie is out now and I've heard some good and some bad about it. I've seen it in the bookstore constantly but I'm always kind of wary to start books that have been made into movies. You'd think if the books were good enough to make it cinema then they should be worth the read, but Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, and The Maze Runner were all made into movies and none of them were all that impressive. Anyway the score piqued my interest and so I perused the internet and found myself a free PDF version of the book (no way in hell am I paying $25 for a book that lasts me less than a week). I burned through it in 2 days, and I have to say it met my expectations in both good ways and bad ways. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

Like I mentioned before it didn't take me very long to read this, and that's primarily because I was so captivated by the story. I loved the way the plot developed. In a story there's usually one major question that needs answering, and once the question is answered the story ends. When the book began the major question was "What happened to Amy?". I was a bit nervous when that was answered so soon into the story, thinking that there wouldn't be much to motivate me to finish it. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover a plethora of questions that were presented after I found out what happened to her, questions like "Will she return home?", "How reliable are these characters as narrators?", "Who's the real villain in this story?". Another great aspect of this book is that while the new questions kept me going they were also all answered by the end of the book. It's infuriating when a question is posed and then never addressed again, but Flynn did an exceptional job at following through with every single question posed. 

2. Did it stick with me? (1/1)

This book comments on some issues that are relevant to today's society, and so it's left me wondering about my opinions on how those issues were presented and the stance that Flynn takes on them through his novel. Also, because of the way the characters were written I've been thinking a lot about my opinions towards them as well. For example, I have mixed feelings about Amy. I like the idea of her overthrowing the expectation of being the "cool girl", but I didn't exactly like her motivations behind framing Nick. Her character in general felt a little flat. She was perfect in so many ways- brilliant, pretty, thin, likable, wealthy, semi-famous -and then she had this one defining character flaw, which is that she's vindictive to a point of insanity. Obviously her character is fictitious, but it didn't feel like she even could have been real. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (.5/1)

I enjoyed somewhat the picture Gillian painted of the enigma that is "cool girl"

Here's the excerpt describing it.

"...Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists…I'd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them… Girls are even more pathetic: They're not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they're pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be…he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn't ever complain." (Flynn 222-223) 

I really like that Flynn talks about this, because it's present in our society and yet rarely discussed. I've seen it myself, and can admit to being guilty of trying to conform to this ideal. Had it been presented by a sane, credible character I think this statement would be incredibly poignant. Most people do take away that this is a very strong quote, but in the context of the novel I think it loses a lot of its weight due to Amy's character. What bothers me about this book is that while Amy is supposed to be this badass feminist trying to expose and rid the world of the "cool girl" stereotype, a lot of what she does is discredited by the fact that she's insane. And yes, nobody is perfect, but Amy's imperfection isn't the imperfection that you see in an actual human being. She's two extremes: she's incredibly intelligent, pretty, thin, charming, and clever, but she's also so vindictive she's willing to blackmail and murder for vengeance. She's so perfect except for one extreme flaw, which is not only unrealistic when you consider a real person but also discrediting any arguments she makes about feminism and relationships. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.25/1)

I was pretty excited at the direction the book was taking at the very beginning, but the further I read through Amy's diary entries I started to realize that they were way too contrived to be legitimate. Like I mentioned before, I think the point she makes about the "cool girl" but I didn't like how that was accompanied by a revenge-obsessed bitch. By the end of the book I was just unimpressed.

5. Was it original? (1/1)

The structure of the book was definitely unique with the constant transition between Amy and Nick's perspectives during different points in their marriage. The initial plot line wasn't anything groundbreaking, but the direction that Flynn took it as the story progressed was gripping and kept me on edge. My experience with the mystery/thriller genre is limited to say the least, but in the grand scheme of literature that I've read this was a very unique read. 

Total rating: 3.75/5

So in the end I think this book accomplished what it was meant to, which is entertain. There seemed to be some moments where Flynn tried to make social commentary, but it was spoiled by other aspects of the novel. I enjoyed it and recommend it to anyone looking for a suspenseful page-turner. Also, check out the score because Atticus Ross and Trent Reznor totally kill it. 

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The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer

I've heard so many good reviews on this book that I had to pick it up. Admittedly I bought this at the beginning of August and I just finished it a few days ago due to a number of reasons, most of them being life-related. However, there are some books that you sit down and finish in one or two sittings, and then there are others that you have to read in intervals and digest information in between (this was one of those). It attacks a subject that isn't often addressed in literature, so a lot of what the character was going through needed time to register in my mind before I felt comfortable continuing with the story. That on top of Filer's beautiful language style made it hard to read more than a few pages in a sitting without stopping to marvel at it. The book is quite good, though. It's an amazing opportunity to be able to see into the world of someone who is dealing with mental illness. Filer used a lot of his own experiences while writing this book, since he trained as a psychiatric nurse while working towards a degree in mental health nursing. This made his story-telling a lot more believable and I'm hoping applicable to what people with mental illness deal with day to day. Whether or not this book is a completely accurate representation of someone living with mental illness, it does get people thinking about a subject that most people don't have abundant information on.

Without further ado...

1. Did it capture my attention? (.5/1) 

There are two aspects of this book that I found extremely interesting and those are the language style that Filer writes in and the subject matter. Filer's writing is probably the most beautiful writing I've read in a long time. Sometime's it's hard to discern whether or not you're reading a novel or a poem with his book. There's something about the way that he writes a sentence or portrays an idea that makes me want to rethink the English language and how we've all become so complacent in the way that we communicate that we never realized that the possibilities for how you tell someone something are practically endless. 

TL;DR Syntax is a beautiful thing, people.

Aside from the language, the idea of finding out what it's like inside the head of a schizophrenic is a treasure in itself. Of course anyone that doesn't suffer from it has no idea what it's like to experience it, but the fact that this book gives the reader an opportunity to understand an illness that is such a mystery to the great majority of people is enough to get me hooked. 

Also, Matthew is a pretty unreliable narrator, so many bits and pieces of this story are up for questioning whether or not they are real or a product of Matt's schizophrenia. This kind of put me in the shoes of Matt, because I myself had no idea what was real or what was fake. It makes you realize how utterly terrifying an illness like this can be when you can't be sure that what you're experiencing is real or a hallucination. I was hoping at some point some of that would be clarified, but by not knowing I think Filer gives the reader a better grasp of what it's like to go through what Matt is going through. 

It might seem odd that with all of the interesting things going on in this book that I would rate my interest in it so low. There are a lot of aspects about this book that were interesting, but overall the plot line wasn't extremely intriguing, which made it hard to focus on for any lengthy amount of time. 

2. Did it stick with me? (1/1)

This book touches on a subject that in my own life I don't deal with very often, but is extremely important to consider when the time comes to use such information. It can be loosely applied to life, though. If you consider how easy it is to exaggerate another person's situation or dehumanize them because they are different from you, it might also be easier to come to understand people a little better in general. Nevertheless, it is something that does stick with you, because there isn't really anything else like it and it's such a useful book for understanding the world just a little bit better.

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

The most significant lesson to be learned from this book is how easy it is to dehumanize people with mental illness. Once someone is marked as "insane" or "crazy" it's like we completely forget that they have coherent thoughts and legitimate emotions. Matt isn't completely sane, that's true, but he's also aware of it. He knows that to other people Simon doesn't exist. He feels guilt for what happened to his brother which makes his schizophrenia even worse. He understands that he has become selfish because of his sickness. When people with mental disorders are portrayed in most of the media, they're depicted as either the butt of a joke or as monsters. It's so important, though, to remember that they experience life just as we do. 

4.Did it make me feel? (.5/1)

There were a few moments that I was a bit teary-eyed, but in general all I felt was fascination. There were parts where I was terrified as well, because something that I found while reading this is the people that are dealing with mental illness must be scared that their reality isn't what it seems to be. I also felt very heavy, like I can feel the weight of the guilt Matt carries on his shoulders. Sometimes I think that it's the guilt and not the schizophrenia that is destroying him, but I suppose that it could create a compound effect. Anyway, what drew me to this book wasn't how it made me feel, but how it made me think about the way that I view other people that I'm not connected with. 

5. Was it original? (1/1)

There are plenty of books about mental illness that have already been written; Buried Child, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Catcher in the Rye, just to name a few, but none of them have been as direct about the matter as Filer's novel. I thought it was kind of interesting how mental illness wasn't really considered a problem to the main character. I mean of course it caused him problems and he had to be treated for it, but all in all it isn't treated as an enemy, but instead kind of like an annoying relative that you're obligated to take care of. The tone of this book definitely makes the idea of mental illness a lot less devastating than most people make it out to be, and maybe that's just because it's form the perspective of someone who is experiencing it first hand. Everything becomes entirely too dramatic when people look at a situation externally. The frankness of Matt's "writing" makes this book feel so much more honest and believable. Also, although it was the crux of Simon's schizophrenia, I loved his obsession with atoms. He learns from a book that we are all made up of the same thing: atoms. But then he becomes possessed by this idea that when Simon died, his atoms went everywhere in the universe, and so everywhere Matthew goes he imagines his brother's atoms. In the wind, in the sea, in the flames on a birthday cake. I thought this idea was absolutely beautiful. It reminds me a lot of Alan Watt's teachings. One of his major theories, not so much a theory as a frame of thought, is that we are the universe experiencing itself. We are all the universe, energy and matter tumbling through time, and when we die we can't possibly go nowhere. It's a basic scientific fact. Our energy will perpetuate throughout the whole of the universe until the end of time, just as it has for millions of years before human existence was a possibility. 

Total rating: 4/5 stars

For a breakout novel this was an absolutely spectacular read. It offers some really valuable insight into the world of mental disorders. As I mentioned before this book received astounding reviews, and I can most definitely see why. The syntax, the format, and the content are unlike anything I have read before. 

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Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys

This book was lovely. The story was well paced, the characters were well written, and the message that Sepetys tries to portray is truly inspiring. I'm not typically a fan of WW2 fiction, or any war novels for that matter, but I heard such good reviews about this that I had to pick it up. It didn't disappoint, either. The story itself is fascinating and focuses on a history that not many people are aware of or are concerned about. WW2 was such a chaotic time for all of Europe, and when it's taught in school the information is limited to the Holocaust and the battling between nations. It wasn't surprising to hear about what happened to the Lithuanians, but all the same it's important to recognize that it did happen. This book does an excellent job informing and entertaining on an issue that has been unacknowledged for so long by so many.

1. Did it capture my attention? (.75/1)

This wasn't exactly an action-packed story, but was so interesting about this is that it's realistically based on what people went through. There weren't incredible twists of fate or explosions or suspenseful fight scenes, but people actually experienced what some of the characters in this book experienced, and that's what was so intriguing about this book. 

2. Did it stick with me? (1/1)

The overarching message that I drew from this is one that I try to live by each and every day, and it's comforting to find literature that supports it the way that this book does. Also, as mentioned before, Elena Vilkas is so inspiring in the way that she lives her life and how she treats others. Her persona is definitely one to be remembered.

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

It didn't so much teach me as it did encourage me to follow teachings that I have received previously. What I drew from this book is that it's not enough just to survive in life, you need to live. No matter how dismal the conditions were, the people that became Lina's family found a way to not just continue their lives, but to enjoy it as well. It's something that is very important to me to do in my own life. There are so many people that simply suffer through their lives for some reason or another, without any drive to be happy. No matter the reason for being here, whatever your beliefs are, it's important that you appreciate the existence that you've been given for as long as you can. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.75/1)

Some of the reviews that I've read about this book mention how much it touched them. I thought it was a beautiful story, but I didn't feel an emotional connection with a lot of the characters the way that others did. That's not to say I didn't feel anything from it, I just didn't feel an overwhelming amount more than I usually do with any book I read. 

5. Was it original? (.75/1)

Of the WW2 books that I have read, which include The Book Thief, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, Sarah's Key, The Diary of Anne Frank, and Atonement, this was pretty typical of what I would expect. It seems to be very historically accurate as far as the conditions that they were living in and the kind of atrocities that were occurring during this time. One thing that was kind of disorienting about it, but wasn't altogether a bad thing, was that this story focussed on a 17 year-old girl. I'm so used to WW2 novels being about younger children that it was kind of strange to read about Lina's love-life. That being said, it's not ridiculous to imagine that romances were still budding even through the harshest of times. 

Total rating: 4.25/5 stars

This was a fantastic read that I think any young adult should pick up at some point. It offers a lot of insight into a history of people that many are unaware while being entertaining as well.

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Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins

Funny story about this here book. It's technically not supposed to be available until the 14th, right? Well, being the impatient brat that I am, I decided to try and reserve a copy at my local bookstore ahead of time because I wanted to make sure I could get one before leaving for school. So I go online to reserve a copy and once I do I get text message saying that the book is ready for pick-up. What? Confused, I call the store and ask a customer service rep if there was a mistake, to which he responded they received and early shipment and it really was ready for pick-up! A whole freaking week early! Of course I ran my ass down to the B&N and bought it. Then, I'm in my car for about 30 seconds, getting ready to head home, when I get a notification from Goodreads saying that Stephanie Perkins accepted my friend request. Serendipity at it's finest, I swear. That was on Thursday, and after finishing The Maze Runner I immediately opened up this lovely thing and finished it basically in one sitting. 

This book was the absolute perfect ending to the trilogy. I'm so glad I bought it because I was a little iffy on the series after Lola and the Boy Next Door. I found Lola to be kind of a diva, but I completely adored Anna and the French Kiss so I figured I'd give this one a shot in the hopes that it would be half as good as Anna. It wasn't half as good, though. Honestly, I think I liked this book better. Anna and the French Kiss is cutesy and swoon-worthy, but I related to Isla on a level that I haven't reached with a book, maybe ever. There were lines in this book that I swear to God were taken verbatim from my own mind. This is for sure one of my favorite books of the year, if not one of my favorites of all time.

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

In most contemporary romance novels there's 3 essential components: protagonist, major character flaw, and love interest. And in most cases the major character flaw holds the protagonist back from being with the love interest, and it isn't until they fix their problem that they can finally be happy and fall in love. This book, while it still does have the major components, uses them in a different order. Isla and Josh become a couple within the first 100 pages, and everything after that is Isla trying to fix a problem or overcome something. When I discovered that, I thought it was too good to be true. It was way too easy that they got together so quickly and easily. So obviously something is going to get screwed up. So I kept reading, and reading, and reading, and reading until the problem presented itself, and then I kept reading until I had this book finished in under 6 hours. 

2. Did it stick with me? (1/1)

This book made a huge impression on me. There's so much of Isla that I see in myself that I felt like I was living in this world instead of observing it. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

It's pretty normal for me to read a book and find even a small lesson to be learned. One of the greatest advantages of reading  books is that you're allowed to watch other people make mistakes and learn things before you have the chance to make them. I related to Isla so well, though, that plenty of the things that she has done are things that I have already done. That being said there are a lot more issues she dealt with that I'd be just as likely to deal with as well. She made me realize things about myself that I have never would have on my own and I'm so grateful for that. 

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

I laughed. I cried. I loved this book. Even characters that weren't in it for more than a few pages had me bawling my eyes out. Once I finished it I spent the next several hours smiling like an idiot because this book made me that happy. 

5. Was it original? (1/1)

It's a contemporary so there are certain aspects that it shares in common with other contemporary novels. That being said, I absolutely loved how it started with them getting together. There weren't any stupid misunderstandings where protagonist sees boy with his girlfriend and gave up on him because she thought he loved the girlfriend still but in reality he as breaking up with her to be with protagonist girl. They get together, simple as that, and the rest of the book is them stumbling through this new relationship. I remember seeing a video on youtube where this girl was saying how she always hates how contemporaries end because you spend the entire book waiting for the couple to get together and then they do and the book ends. This book is the exact opposite. You really get a feel for how, even though they've fallen in love and are a couple, things are still awkward and new and strange and uncomfortable. 

Total rating: 5/5 stars

Stephanie Perkins completely blew me away with this book. My only problem is that now I have no new books of hers to look forward to! I highly recommend this book to anyone who even remotely liked Anna and the French Kiss or Lola and the Boy Next Door. This was so cute and relatable and a spectacular book to end an equally spectacular series. 

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The Maze Runner by James Dashner

I figured I might as well read this seeing as there's been so much hype about it. The movie is coming out relatively soon and now having read it I can see why. It reminded me a lot of The Hunger Games trilogy, which is an opinion shared amongst many readers. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

Something that this book, The Hunger Games books, and I'm sure many other action-packed dystopian books have in common is that there's one little line at the end of every chapter that always seems to act as a major plot twist. You'll go through the chapter figuring out whatever plot has developed at right as you think you're comfortable with it, at the end of that chapter everything changes with that one little line. That's what makes books like these impossible to put down. No matter how far into the book you are there's always the plot twist at the end of each chapter to keep you interested. I did find this hard to put down, honesty. There was never a dull moment. And even though the plot was always changing there was this overarching question you kept asking yourself that made reading the book worthwhile, because you kept hoping that by the end that one basic question, the one you've been asking since the first page, would be answered. And it was insanely satisfying when it was.

2. Did it stick with me? (.5/1)

I'm not sure that this made a huge impact on me simply because I felt like I've read it before. It was good, though, and does kind of make me want to read more dystopian ya. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (.25/1)

There probably are lessons to be learned from this. Don't give up on living no matter how hard or hopeless it seems. I think this book was meant more for entertainment than anything else. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.75/1)

I did grow an attachment to some of the characters and a dislike of others.   It was interesting how there weren't a lot of characters who were 100% likable. Each one of them thad their own flaws and made it hard to really sympathize with them. Even still, I became invested in each character, no matter how much I wanted them to live or die. 

5. Was it original? (.5/1)

This series is amongst a group of books that has become extremely popular in the last few years. Dystopian YA has experienced a boom in activity that started in literature and is now branching out to "the big screen". While each series has its own distinct set of rules that the author creates for their fabricated worlds, the premises of them all are relatively similar. That's not to say that they aren't enjoyable, but it does kind of take away from their impact. When they first emerged they seemed to make an impact on teens by making them more aware of politics, the power of the government, the power of the individual, the power of symbols, and the power of teamwork. Now I have the feeling that they aren't created as much for that reason as they are simply because they are trending, at least that's how I feel about this book in particular. 

Total rating: 3/5 stars

In the end I'm not sure whether I enjoyed this more or less than The Hunger Games. Thomas, in my opinion, was a little more likable than Katniss. I didn't have to listen to him complain about his relationship problems or blame himself for every little thing that happened to go wrong for him. At the same time, though, I think there isn't as much to take away from this book as there is in Collins' books. If I had to sum it up, I'd say this was more entertaining, while THG were more thought-provoking. 

This will probably make an excellent film adaptation and I'm tempted to pay the $12 for a ticket simply to see what their interpretation of a griever would be. 

If you read this and have any opinions about it or thoughts about the book or the movie coming out please feel free to message me, whether you agree or disagree with my own thoughts on it. There's nothing like a little debate and discussion to help stimulate the mind and widen your perspective on things. 

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Burn for Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

There's so many things I have to say about this book that probably aren't worth saying. If I had the motivation I would write a complete novel filled with all of the reasons why I hated this book. However, since my apathy vastly outweighs my dislike of this book, I'll make it quick. In short it's cliched and tasteless. I found all of the characters, even the ones who were supposed to be sweet, to be extremely unlikable. The plot was that of a typical high school contemporary story. Honestly, it brought me back to reading The Clique books, but those were seventh grade girls and they acted more mature than the characters in Burn for Burn. There's so many problems I have with this that I don't know where to begin. I'll start with the major plot, which is that these three girls have been hurt at one point in their life and want revenge on the people who caused it. First of all, getting revenge on someone is just about the worst way to deal with a problem. The thing about revenge is that it fixes 0 issues, especially in this case. You'd think that these girls would want their "victims" to know who's doing all this bad stuff to them so they know that either they shouldn't mess with these girls or they did something wrong and shouldn't do anything like it again. However, all of these pranks are left anonymous. Why? Because Lillia is friends with all of these assholes and wants to continue being friends with them after she's done "destroying their lives", even though they're all pretty terrible people. Because it's all anonymous, Alex, Rennia, and Reeve have no idea that any of the girls are pissed off at them for what they did.They're just left feeling confused and victimized. At least, they would had their plan not been ruined by Mary's completely random and unnecessary supernatural powers. I think above all the cliche high school drama this was the part that pissed me off the most. How the everliving fuck supernatural powers are appropriate for this book is beyond me. And if they were meant to be, why the hell were they not the focus of this book? I thought I was reading your run-of-the-mill contemporary novel and then, oops, it's actually a contemporary fantasy? I'm not even sure what you would call this. Bullshit? It's like if I told a story about a boy who had a pretty awkward dating life until he fell in love with his best friend's sister, and then on the last page I reveal that he's also a really famous and powerful wizard that saved the world. Why was that not the focus of the novel in the first place?! Overall, I think they crammed WAY too much "plot" into 1 book. There were the 3 revenge plans, the back stories, the rape, the supernatural powers, the romances; it was overwhelming to have to filter all of the information. And yet, I still found myself bored reading it. 

Allow me to elaborate...

Lillia: All of Lillia's problems could have been avoided had she simply confronted her sister or Alex about what happened between them. 

Mary: Mary I have the least sympathy for out of all of the characters. Call me heartless, ok, but most of her problems were her own damn fault. Reeve was an asshole to her, that's for sure, but at the same time she allowed him to be. I don't necessarily mean it's her fault that he made fun of her at school, but what happened outside of it. When they were on the ferry, Reeve talked to her like he didn't make her life a living hell, and she let him. She let him treat her any way he wanted without any consequence. You'd think that if someone treated you kindly in private and like dirt in public you would have the common sense to stay away or realize that person genuinely doesn't give a shit about you. She doesn't, though, and starts liking him anyway. Then she gets pissed off that he acts the exact same way he always does in public with her when he pushed her away. What did she expect to have happened? As for her falling in the water and having to be saved, as far as I can tell he didn't intend to kill her. He's too concerned about saving his own reputation to put in the extra effort to try to embarrass her like that. And then, years after the whole ordeal is over, she's still pissed off at him. But the absolute fucking worst part of this is that she's supposedly still in love with him as well. I just wish someone can call to her attention the fact that he never cared about her and maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to move on. 

Kat: Kat was undeniably an asshole. She has the whole punk-rock attitude going on, which isn't my style but doesn't really make her unlikable. She's petty and immature, though, and that's what annoys me about her. Spitting in someone's face and letting the air out their tires isn't exactly the best way to handle a situation. The part that really put me over the edge was when she printed out Alex's poems for everyone to laugh at. I can think of so many better ways to get back at a person, but those poems were his personal property. She might as well have ripped a page out of someone's diary and pasted it all over the school. Those poems were him bearing his heart and soul, and she stomped all over it. In the end it was pointless, too, because Alex didn't even do anything wrong. Kat's a total dumbass by not talking to him about it. 

Alex: Alex needs to get new friends. 

Reeve: Reeve was an asshole, as he should have been. My problem with Reeve isn't so much his character as it is how he was written. I think he was a good antagonist to the story, but he was so ridiculous. Nobody like this exists. Nobody is this much of a douche. 

Rennie: My opinion about Rennie is exactly the same as my opinion about Reeve. She was a good antagonist: your cliched, popular, cheer-leading bitch. People like this don't exist, though. There's nothing real about her. I have a firm belief that there are good sides and bad sides to every single person. Nobody is 100% evil, but that's how Rennie was written, as well as Reeve. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (.25/1)

I was almost afraid to put this down when I started it because there are so many characters that are introduced right away that I didn't want to confuse them all, but once I figured everyone out I dreaded reading this. The only reason I decided to finish it was I knew it would be a quick read and I hate leaving books unfinished, no matter how bad they are. Every chapter was rife with more high school cliches and drama. I dealt with enough of that shit in high school I don't know why I would want to experience it again, albeit vicariously through fictional characters.

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (.5/1)

This did make an impression on me, but not in the right way. I'm now seriously wary of reading random contemporary novels. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (0/1)

In all fairness, I don't think Han and Vivian were out to teach a lesson to their readers. Burn for Burn is a novel for entertainment. That being said even books and movies that are simply meant for enjoyment usually try to throw in some kind of half-assed attempt at a theme. A lot of people have been comparing this to John Tucker Must Die, which I can completely understand, but even that movie had a lesson or two to be learned. 

4. Did it make me feel? (0/1)

I read some reviews of this book after reading it to see what others thought. There were people who cried and laughed at it for all the right reasons. I guess I must be insensitive, then, because I felt nothing. None of the characters were likable in my opinion, therefore I had a hard time feeling bad for any of them when something bad happened. Even Mary, who was supposed to be the sob-story, didn't incite any emotions. 

5. Was it original? (.25/1)

The fact that people keep comparing this to other movies and books indicates that it's a lot like other stories that already exist. If I had to describe it in one sentence I'd say it's John Tucker Must Die meets Carrie meets The Clique series. There isn't anything that really stands out to me. It was boring and predictable. 

Total rating: 1/5 stars

Maybe I'm just harsh on this book because I read Jenny Han's To All the Boys I've Loved Before and I absolutely adored it. I had certain expectations for Han and Vivian's book that it didn't live up to in any respect. I wish I could have enjoyed this, but truthfully I'm finding it hard to find anything to enjoy. 

If you have any opinions or thoughts you'd like to share feel free to message me. Seriously, even if you don't agree. I'd love to get a second opinion about this book. Maybe I'll be able to understand why nobody dislikes it if I get a different perspective. Until then, I'll probably be staying away from  YA contemporary for a while.

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Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

It doesn't take a detective to notice that this book is well-loved. Simply by looking at the cover, you can tell that it has received a lot of acclaim. However, even though books win awards and receive acclaim doesn't mean that they are good in the minds of most of its readers. I think that we all agree a lot of the required high school books we all had to read, while they are considered works of literary art, weren't anything more than something we had to suffer through. I'm here to say that this book does not apply to those rules. Every single award that this book has received is another testament to how beautiful it is.The language was beautiful, the relationships between the characters were beautiful, the themes were beautiful, the symbols were beautiful, need I go on? From the title I gathered that this would be a metaphysical book, and it is, but it's so much more. This book offers a perspective into the lives of people that I myself have never been given the opportunity to know or to be, which is something we all need every once in a while.

1. Did it capture my attention? (.75/1)

There isn't a huge amount of plot, but there is a lot of emotion and thought that is behind a character that, on the outside, appears to be callous and heartless at times. I think the biggest draw to the story is the mystery of Ari. I've never read about or met a person like him, and there were so many things going on in his head that I wanted to take-in as much information as possible to try and understand him. And through all of his thinking you can tell that something eventually has to give and there will be consequences for actions. I suppose I should have seen Dante's and Aristotle's complicated relationship coming from reading the synopsis, but I hate to assume things and judge before I have any information to go on. Just because a story is about two boys doesn't mean it automatically has to be about their romantic relationship, except for this case. In this case, it totally does. I was a little wary at first. Both characters are so unique that it's hard to assume that something that is usually considered romantic isn't just their way in their friendship. Affection can exist without romance. However, as the story progressed it became more obvious up until the point that it was openly acknowledged. After that, the interest remained in what would happen to their relationship now that they are fully aware of the tension between them. Their relationship as a whole is completely captivating and beautiful. It kept me involved from the first page to the last. My only problem was that while Ari's inner thoughts were easy to follow and often times beautiful, the dialogue between characters was a little lack-luster and kind of confusing. There's very little indication of who is talking when, so at times I struggled to follow who was speaking when. 

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (1/1)

This book certainly gave me a lot to think about. The bird symbolism was absolutely stellar. There are several references to birds throughout this book, all on seemingly unrelated occasions. The first instance occurs when Dante becomes angry at the two boys shooting the bird with a pellet gun. The other involves Ari's dreams of birds dropping dead from the sky. (he has this dream multiple times) Then there's Dante who tried to save the bird in the road but ended up injured after Ari pushed him out of the way of a car. And then Susie's last name is Byrd. I don't know if that's just a coincidence because she didn't seem to play a major role in the book. Anyway, the gist is that there are a lot of birds in this book, but most of the time they aren't "in good health". In each case they're incapable of flying, whether it be because they are dead or simply injured. I think this plays into the story in that birds are meant to fly, and when they can't fly they can't be what they want to be, or rather what they're meant to be. Throughout the book Ari is in denial about his sexuality, and as a result is extremely hostile towards the world. He is a bird who can't fly; a boy who cannot be who he is meant to be. I love the way Saenz used birds as a representation of Ari in the book, but what I love even more is what they were representing. Being a straight female, I obviously haven't gone through anything that Ari has gone through. And so many times are YA books focused on a female protagonist. This book offers a lot of insight into a world that so many people fail to understand and empathize with. We see Ari struggle with his identity and his sexuality in a way that makes the issues that are so relevant in today's news relatable and real. It gives a person a lot to think about, for sure. Quite frankly I don't see how this book can't stick with a person.

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

As mentioned before, this book offers a point of view in a life that many people are unfamiliar with. I don't have a problem with homosexuality, and I never have, but that doesn't mean I understand it fully. And while I never really believed this, the book does make a point to say that homosexuality isn't a choice. In fact, many of the people who are homosexual resent it at first. Ari spends the majority of the novel in denial about it, and once he finally does recognize it, he is repulsed by himself. And this also makes a point to say that there isn't a persona for gays. Thinking about gays on TV or in the media, there's this idea that they all love theater and fashion and gossip, which is completely ludicrous to think about. Ari is not that stereotype. He is so far detached from it that it's hard to believe anybody would think that the stereotype has any validity to it at all. This book is so important. So, so important. Homosexuality is a major focus in today's news, and this book gives people the opportunity to see the point of view of someone who is a part of this controversial minority. 

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

Ari wasn't a particularly likable character in my opinion, which makes it even more impressive that I felt as much as I did for him and about this book in general. Of course some of those emotions do include frustration, but hey, frustration is an emotion. I have to say that a majority of what I felt for this book is sheer wonderment and joy. Ari and Dante's story is so touching and so beautiful that it's hard not to feel for them in a multitude of ways.

5. Is it original? (1/1)

I don't know why I'm even answering this question, because the answer is obviously yes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: THIS BOOK IS SO IMPORTANT! Schools across America should have their kids read this, and their parents for that matter. It raises awareness of issues that are extremely relevant today and offers perspectives on a minority that is at the heart of these issues. And there are so few books that make those issues the focus of a novel. I don't know that I've ever read a book with a homosexual protagonist, not because I don't prefer them but because I simply haven't found a book that gave me the opportunity to. And I loved how real the characters were. As a girl, there's always this impression I have of men that they're always being pressured to be masculine, tough, and stoic. It sucks, because obviously men feel just like women do, yet women are offered much more leniency to be open about how they're feeling. In general, women have a lot of leeway when it comes to gender roles. Hell, we have boyfriend jeans. Ever hear of girlfriend jeans? Didn't think so. Women are given the option to be more masculine than our previous expectations of what a woman should be and it's perfectly acceptable to do so. Men, on the other hand, aren't offered this luxury. Anything a man does that slightly feminine and immediately he's being casted out for being too girly or gay. Saenz brings this to the attention of the reader through Ari's belligerence and hatred of himself and Dante's openness and acceptance of his feelings. Now, for all my democrats, I understand that women have their own issues to deal with. We all do, but this is a legitimate issue that boys of today and for many years now have dealt with, and I applaud Saenz for bringing it to my attention. It was an amazing experience to have read such a unique and powerful book. 

Total rating: 4.75/5 stars

If you haven't read this book yet, first of all I don't know why you're reading this because it has hella spoilers in it. But if you haven't read it yet, DO. I don't care what political affiliation you are, what age you are, what gender you are, read this freaking book. It has received so much acclaim for a reason. Go out a read this book. As always, if you have read it please let me know what you thought about it. If you agree with it or disagree with it, all the same, shoot me a message and let me know so we can discuss!

Some of the more important and beautiful quotes...

"The problem with my life was that it was someone else's idea" (Saenz 8)

"Maybe that was the thing about me. I wasn't a real boy. I was a fraud." (Saenz 28)

"My mother and father held hands. I wondered what that was like, to hold someone's hand. I bet you could sometimes find all of the mysteries of the universe in someone's hand." (Saenz 140)

"Through all of youth I was looking for you without knowing what I was looking for. -W. S. Merwin" (Saenz 295)

"Dante was crying again. And I felt mean because I didn't feel like crying. I didn't really feel anything for the bird. It was a bird. Maybe the bird didn't deserve to get shot by some stupid kid whose idea of fun was shooting at things. But it was still just a bird." (Saenz 54-55)

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Fly on the Wall: How One Girl Saw Everything by E. Lockhart

Story time! A few weeks ago I had this massive order of books from Amazon. Not really massive, it was probably 6 or 7 books, but I've never bought that many at once so it was pretty big to me. Anyway, I heard about this book from some booktubers and thought it sounded interesting. I loved Kafka's Metamorphosis so this should have been perfect for me. And me, being the cheap-o I am, decided I would buy it used. So I bought the book used for $13 less than its original price, which is awesome. When the order came in the mail I kind of pushed this off to the side in order to focus on the other books I bought. Then, a few days ago I start reading this. It's in pretty good condition considering I only paid $3 for it. But then I opened to the front cover, and what do I see but freaking E. Lockhart's signature on the front cover! I mean talk about a good deal! Not only did I buy this book for 20% of the original asking price, but I got a signed copy too! Granted, it's signed to somebody named Renee, but a signature is still a signature! 

If you haven't read Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis, I recommend doing so before reading this, or at least reading a synopsis of it, otherwise you'll be kind of weirded out by the story. TLDR for Metamorphosis is that this guy, Gregor Samsa, wakes up one morning as a "monstrous vermin." There's no explanation to why he became a vermin and there's a lot of debate over whether or not his transformation is literal or figurative. Regardless, this book is pretty much like a pre-teen, Junie B. Jones version of this. It follows a girl named Gretchen Yee who attends an art school in Manhattan called Ma-Ha. Gretchen is completely inexperienced when it comes to boys and wishes she knew more, so one day she tells her best friend that she wants to be a fly on the wall of the boys dressing room. The next morning, she wakes up and she is. Events ensue, and character development takes place, and after a few days she wakes up one morning and is back to normal, using her new wealth of knowledge to fix the problems in her life. 

Even though this book was supposed to be about a high school sophomore, I had a lot of conflicting ideas about how old she was. For example, she refers to boobs and penises and biscuits and gherkins, yet she spends half of the book lusting over guys in the locker room. And not just her, either, but the entire school seems to be able to throw around the f-bomb, along with some choice homophobic words, like it's no big deal, but once they start talking about genitalia and the human anatomy, that's when we have to start being careful with our language. 

Gretchen as a protagonist wasn't a particularly likable character. My biggest problem with her is that she whines incessantly. She whines about the poseurs at school, her English class, her art teacher, boys, locker rooms, her best friend ditching her, her dad having an affair, her mom nagging her, moving. The whining is endless. Maybe she was turned into a fly because she's so damned annoying. She did come around by the end. After she because human again there was a lot less whining and a lot more dealing with problems. Thank God. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (.75/1)

It's a book about a girl who randomly turns into a fly, so my attention was caught pretty early on. However, I spent the majority of the time waiting for the exciting thing to happen, and it never came. The book held my attention in anticipation for something I though was coming but never came. Kind of a let-down. 

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (.25/1)

Immediately after finishing it, I had a hard time recalling what I had read. There isn't anything that really stuck out to me as being memorable. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (.25/1)

I like the idea of having a "big life" as a major theme, but I don't think it was reinforced enough since Gretchen didn't really achieve it. She did end up talking to the boy she likes, which I guess was the goal the whole time. There was also this one, obscure quote at the beginning that I found intriguing. Gretchen's art teacher is critiquing Titus' art, and Gretchen explains "People think of hearts when they think of love, but a heart is a bloody organ in the body. It doesn't have any emotions. It's like a metaphor for love that has nothing to do with what love actually is…So the picture's like loving the bare truth about love, not the crap that people think is love tom Hallmark cards and chick flicks…Or it's about there being no love, not in the body. Like saying love is in the mind, or the eye- but not in the body at all." (Lockhart 44) It's a compelling point of view on love. I'm not sure it taught me anything, but it did give me something to think about. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.75/1)

Is annoyed a feeling? I grew tired of Gretchen's whining pretty quickly, especially since the things she was whining about weren't all that big of a deal. I did laugh a lot, though. Gretchen's take on boys was amusing to say the least, and had me giggling at her naivety on several occasions. 

5. Was it original? (.25/1)

You'd think a book about a girl who turns into a fly would be pretty original, but it kind of let me down in that respect. It dealt with the same stuff that all teenage girls deal with: boys, parents, bitchy popular girls, mean teachers, etc. I would have liked to see her do something a little more interesting with her circumstances than spy on naked boys. She makes a big deal in this book about wanting to do something with her life. During an art critique she thinks "I love the idea of big life-the life that matters, the life that makes a difference. The life where stuff happens, where people take action. The opposite of the life where the girl can't even speak to the boy she likes; the opposite of the life where the friends aren't even good friends, and lots of days are waste away feeling bored…" (Lockhart 46) Gretchen wants to live a life that's worth living, but once she's given the opportunity to actually do something interesting, she does absolutely nothing with it. She did the same thing that pretty much any other shy, introverted girl would have done, nothing. 

Total rating: 2.25/5 stars

Clearly this wasn't my favorite book of all time. Overall I found it to be extremely juvenile for YA fiction, and if I had the choice I would change Gretchen's age, take out some of the swearing, and make her a middle schooler. I think this would appeal to a younger age group than its current target. I'm not sure if I recommend this to anyone older than 15, that is unless you enjoyed your middle school years and want to relive what probably was the most awkward time in your life. Then by all means, have at it! 

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If I Stay by Gayle Forman

I picked this book up on a whim several days ago as I was awaiting a large order of books from Amazon. If I had a choice to go back and buy it again, I probably would, but not at full price. It's not that I disliked it, but I didn't like it enough to pay $11 for it. There are some books that are useful for learning, some that are simply entertaining, and on rare occasions, there are books that are both. If I Stay is one of those books that is simply meant to entertain. I related to the character in certain ways, which was refreshing, but there wasn't a whole lot of substance to it. It's not a book that I would spend days or even hours thinking about. Overall, I wouldn't say that it's a bad book, just an overrated book. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (.5/1)

When I read the synopsis of this book I was under the impression that the bulk of it would be about Mia trying to decide whether she should stay or go. Instead, it was pretty much a history lesson of Mia's life coupled with her family and boyfriend putzing around the hospital trying to visit her. I found myself asking "Why is this relevant?" all too frequently. 

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (.25/1)

I didn't get a great deal out of this book. It was a very short read that I finished within a few hours, after which I almost completely forgot about it. And even though I only read it yesterday, I have to keep reminding myself what I read about and what was significant.

3. Did it teach me anything? (.5/1)

I'm not 100% sure whether or not this book aimed to make this point, but it seemed significant enough to mention. There was this contradiction that I can't tell was intended or coincidental. Mia and her best friend, Kim, have this idea that everyone and everything can be divided into 2 groups. Classical music vs pop music. Pepsi vs Coke. First of all, I hate the idea of categorizing people like this. It simplifies things to make other people easier to understand in our minds, but doesn't take into account individuality and is a shit representation of a person. Anyway, the odd thing about this theory is that even though the character mentions it several times, it's also challenged discreetly in a number of ways. For example, a person can be either living or dying, but Mia is caught between the two, trying to decide which is right for her. Then there's a short conversation between Mia and her father about him changing his lifestyle, during which he says "'I'm not giving anything up. It's not an either-or proposition. Teach or music. Jeans or suits. Music will always be a part of my life.'" (Forman 192) It seems like Forman is trying to make a point that Mia's theory is wrong, but it's not reinforced enough to make it an actual theme. If it were, I think that'd be the major lesson to draw from this book: life isn't black and white; this or that. Instead, it's more like varying shades of grey. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.75/1)

For a book with such a depressing premise, I found a shocking lack of emotion in this book. Don't get me wrong, I did get a little teary eyed at the end, but the main character has just lost her entire family and she's walking around the hospital talking about it like it's just another normal day. I didn't have any emotional attachment to her. If fact, the only moments that had me feeling anything didn't have anything to do with what Mia was doing, but instead what her friends and family were doing. Her grandfather's acceptance of her moving on was touching, and seeing him break down was upsetting as well because he's such a reserved character. And her boyfriend, who as much as I enjoyed I could never really tell was in love with Mia or not, had me in a bit of a mess when he was at her bedside telling her not to leave him. And I know it's ridiculous to say that her boyfriend didn't really care about her, but honestly before he arrived at the hospital I had my doubts. There was the over-politeness between him and Mia. Also her hesitation with being with him and questioning his reasons for liking her. Then there was the showing up late to the hospital. I know that he was at a show and he had no way of knowing, but usually when there's a love interest they're there by the protagonist's side immediately. I realize that the way it was written is probably more realistic, which I absolutely appreciate, but her relationship with Adam was such a large part of this book and if love is supposed to be a major theme, the thing that makes Mia want to continue living, I kind of expected a love that was a little more substantial. 

5. Was it original? (1/1)

If there's one redeeming quality about this book, it's its originality. The premise is completely unlike anything I've read. We all have our ideas about what happens when we die, but it's usually a topic that is far too delicate to mention to a public audience. I loved that this book explores that idea a little bit without trying to push anything on the reader. I also thought the characters were amazing. Whenever you read about a punk-rocker, they're not usually written about in the brightest of lights, but Forman's portrayal of Mia's mother, father, and boyfriend threw the classic stereotype out the window in favor of punk-rock characters that are round, 3-dimensional characters instead of the flat, douchey assholes that punk-rockers are usually made out to be. As for Mia, I adored her silent but strong personality, most likely because I can relate to it. Her relationship with Adam was unique in its own way as well. As I mentioned before, it's not exactly unique from relationships that people have in the real world, but it is for those that you usually read about in books. Not all people fall in love spectacularly and without caution. There's second-guessing and uncertainty but that doesn't make their love any less valid than the Romeo and Juliet loves that are so common in books. 

Total rating: 3/5 stars

Having read it I can understand why it's such a popular book. Depending on how you read it, it's heart-wrenching and touching. However, for me it fell a little short of my expectations. That being said, I am kind of interested in what will happen next, so I will be picking up the sequel to this, Where She Went, as soon as possible! Feel free to message me any thoughts you have about this book, if you agree or disagree with my own, or any thoughts you have about the movie coming out! 

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Paper Towns by John Green

I have so much to say about this book and absolutely no clue as to how I should begin! Sadly, this was the only book of John Green's that I hadn't read yet. I have to say, reading his other books before this one did make a large impact on my reaction to this book. I was so disappointed about halfway through because it seemed so similar to all of his other books. There's a normal guy who lives a mundane life comes across this amazing adventure that he goes on and realizes a bunch of shit about his life that he wouldn't have figured out had he not gone on this adventure. There's always the best friend who's unwaveringly confident without having a whole lot of reason to be. Then there's the girl, who lives life to the fullest and makes everything seem more spectacular when she's around. The thing is about these girls is that they don't seem real. They're an entirely new species of person that I've never come across in my lengthy 19 years of living. They don't seem to feel pain or have any problems. They also have a deep obsession with poetry and being mysterious, profound creatures. They're extremely intelligent and are always the love interest to the protagonist because, well, why wouldn't they be. They're practically flawless human beings that everyone wants to be around. Margo Roth Spiegelman is that girl in Paper Towns, the one who makes life worth living but deep down has troubles that other people cannot even fathom because they lack a certain perspective and knowledge about the world that only Margo possesses. After reading about Margo for what seemed like the hundredth time (having read about characters just like her previously) I was ready to give up. I wasn't sure John Green knew what a normal teenage girl was like, that is, until I was over halfway through the book and hit this quote. "And all at once I knew how Margo Roth Spiegelman felt when she wasn't being Margo Roth Spiegelman: she felt empty. She felt the unscaleable wall surrounding her...The fundamental mistake I had always made-and that she had, in fairness, always led me to make- was this: Margo was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl." (Green 199) I loved the fact that Green drew attention to this, that in the end these girls who seem to make life more exciting and are a complete mystery to the world aren't in fact too different than your best friend or the person you sit behind in math. Margo is made out to be this spectacular human being (which isn't to say that she's not an amazing person, I'm sure she is) because of Quentin's perception of her. Quentin mentions several times before this moment that he might not know Margo as well as he thinks he does. The Margo that Quentin knows is, as Green puts it, a mirror, not a window. This was the moment that I fell in love with this book because I felt like I was on the same level as Green. I felt like he made this picture of this spectacular girl only to have the protagonist mention that who he thinks she is and how the world perceives her might not be who she actually is. 

One of the problems I did have with this book from the beginning to the end which is a reoccurring issue I have with Green's books is that he gives teens way too much credit. These books are supposed to be about seemingly normal teenagers, but as a teenager I can honestly say normal teens don't hatch elaborate plans to run away or quote Dickinson casually or spend their lives editing wikipedia pages. That's not to say that there aren't any teens out in the world like this, but I don't think his books are a very accurate representation of what a realistic young adult is like. Instead he writes about these super-kids who understand the world on a deeper level and go on these spectacular adventures. Maybe considering Green's books realistic fiction isn't accurate. To me, they're more like idealistic fiction, which means to say while his characters aren't accurate representations of what teens act like in the real world, the real world would probably be a better place if they did. 

Although I did have some problems with this book those problems did come with their fair share of wonderful. And it's these wonderful parts that make this book worth reading and make this book probably my favorite out of John Green's books.

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

I've never pegged myself for a mystery novel kind of girl, but this book has me second-guessing myself. Every chapter made me more interested than the last. Each time a discovery was made or a clue was found I was drawn into the story and the mystery or Margo Roth Spiegelman. Even Quentin's own philosophical epiphanies made me more interested. If the book is suggesting that Margo isn't who the main character thinks she is then who is she really? The more I read and the deeper I delved into the plot the more absorbed I became.

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (1/1)

The fact that this book is so applicable to my life and pretty much anyone's life means that yes, it did and it will stick with me. Also, I can't get my mind off of this book. There are so many little details that I have thoughts on that keep coming to me. For example, while I love that this was a mystery, I think the answers to some of the questions are so completely impossible for anyone to have figured out. Like the graffiti on the wall of The Osprey that said "You are going to the paper towns. And you are never coming back" Later on Margo explains this to Quentin when he finally locates her in an obscure "town" in New York state. She says "Because it's kind of great, being an idea that everybody likes. But I could never be the idea to myself, not all the way. And Agloe is a place where a paper creation became real. A dot on the map became a real place, more real than the people who created the dot could ever have imagined. I thought maybe the paper cutout of a girl could start becoming real here also. And it seemed like a way to tell that paper girl who cared about popularity and clothes and everything else: 'You are going to the paper towns. And you are never coming back.'" (Green 294) Basically what Margo is saying is that the graffiti written on the wall wasn't a clue left for anyone, but a message she wrote to herself to convince her that she is going to Agloe to become the person that she actually is instead of the girl that people have constructed her to be. This frustrated me because who the hell could have figured that out? But then I realized that she wasn't expecting anyone to have figured that out because she hadn't meant to be found. So things like this are constantly running through my mind and to be honest it's absolutely lovely.

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

There are two major ideas that can be learned from this book. One of them isn't necessarily something I hadn't known before but is something that I don't think about often enough, and that is how we perceive others to be is not necessarily the way they actually are. People made Margo out to be this spectacular and adventurous girl with an outlook on the world that makes you want to live your life. But as the story progresses and Quentin along with his friends discover more about Margo, they all realize that the Margo they all thought they knew isn't anything more than their perception of her. This doesn't just apply to Margo, though. If you think about all of the people you've ever known or ever thought you know, consider how many of them you actually got to know. Did you ever have a perception of a person and then have that perception completely shattered once you got to know them better? It happens to all of us, yet we still try to categorize people and simplify them down to make it easier for us to understand them, even if those ideas are completely false. And while this isn't a concept that I've never come across before, it is something that I don't think about enough and I am grateful for this book to bring it to my attention. 

The other thing this book gave me was a little bit of insight into human psychology. John Green seems to speak fluently in metaphors so it's no surprise that they played a major role in this book. There are several that come into play with regards to the human psyche. One is that of strings. Each person is supposedly born with a set of strings that as we live our live break until the last string breaks and we die. The other is brought to our attention through a Walt Whitman poem, which suggests that we are like blades of grass, all connected to each other. The last one, the one preferred by the protagonist, is that we are vessels that over time crack and eventually shatter. There's one quote, one very long quote, that sums up these ideas pretty well. "'When I thought about [Robert Joyner] dying- which admittedly isn't that much- I always thought of it like you said, that all the strings inside him broke. But there are a thousand ways to look at it: maybe the strings break, or maybe our ships sink, or maybe we're grass- our roots so interdependent that no one is dead as long as someone is still alive. We don't suffer from a shortage of metaphors, is what I mean. But you have to be careful which metaphor you choose, because it matters. If you chose the strings, then you're imagining a world in which you can become irreparably broken. If you chose the grass, you're saying that we are all infinitely interconnected, that we can use these root systems not only to understand one another but to become one another. The metaphors have implications…I like the strings. I always have. Because that's how it feels. But the strings make pain seem more fatal than it is, I think. We're not as frail as the strings would make us believe. And I like the grass, too. The grass got me to you, helped me to imagine you as an actual person. But we're not different sprouts from the same plant. I can't be you. You can't be me…Maybe it's more like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen- these people leave us, or don't love us, or don't get us, or we don't get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable…But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and we finally fall apart. And it's only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, light can get in. The light can get out'" (Green 301-302) I've never really given a whole lot of thought to how we operate as humans, but this book opened up my eyes into how we're all similar in this one respect. There is something connects us all and that's that one way or another, whether you consider us a set of strings or blades of grass or vessels, we all experience heartache and pain. And those things that damage us, that eventually build up so much that they kill us, (sometimes metaphorically, sometimes literally) are something that each and every one of us can relate to. Margo isn't an anomaly, she is a human being who became broken and was exceptional at hiding it until she wasn't. Knowing this not only helps me to understand myself, it also helps me to understand other people. Knowing that we all share this fundamental idea allows me to relate to other people in a deeper way.

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

Short answer: yes. Long answer: I found Quentin's voice pretty relatable, and the different emotions he felt to be relatable as well. When he was angry I could understand why. When he was feeling helpless and confused I could understand why. The concepts of this book might be a little more complicated than what one usually finds in a YA novel, but the human emotion was easily understood. At no point did I want to cry or hug anyone, but I don't think that this book aims to make the reader feel that way.

5. Was it original? (.25/1)

There are a lot of things about this book that make it unique. One of the favorites is that John Green writes parts of himself into his books, not as a character, but as the context, setting, and characteristics of the books. You can see it in Looking for Alaska with Miles' fascination with famous last words, and you can see it in An Abundance of Katherines with the anagramming. In Paper Towns, there are very small details that Green wrote in about himself, for example when Quentin and his friends were listening to the Mountain Goats or the story about how Agloe is an anagram of two people's initials. What really makes John Green's books stand out though is their overwhelming amount of substance. Whenever I read a YA book I never really expect to have to analyze to find the meaning. It's not like English class where you have to spend weeks and weeks trying to sort and make sense of all of the metaphors and symbols and themes that a novel contains. At least, it usually isn't. John Green's books are pretty much the YA equivalent of an English class reading assignment, and I mean that in the best way possible! I feel like somebody should write a shmoop or spark notes page about this book just so I have a place to go to make sense of it all. It's not that the book is terribly confusing, there's just so much stuff going on that my brain doesn't know where to stop! Personally, I love books like this because while it is an entertaining read it also gives me something to think about. There are layers to it that you have to peel away at that make the book so much more dynamic and interesting than if it was simply one-dimensional. Books like this are why writing is considered an art. Yes it's a pretty picture to look at but aside from admiring it you also have to admire how the artist constructed it and the meaning that the artist is trying to get across. In this book, the meaning goes far deeper than your typical YA novel. Most times the meaning is that you should stay true to who you are, trust others, open yourself up to love, which are all great lessons to be learned but sometimes get a little tiring to read about all of the time. This book has multiple lessons that I think we all can benefit from, YA readers and adult readers alike. I think as a whole John Greens books are very unique, but aside from the lessons themselves, the format of this book, as well as the characters and plot lines, weren't that different from his other books. 

Total rating: 4.25/5 stars

I recommend this book to anyone who hasn't read a John Green book yet, and to anyone who has read one and wants to read pretty much the same storyline. Like I said before, I do have some problems with this book and with Green's books in general, but I can't deny that the substance that this book contains outweighs the issues I have with it a million to one. And I had no idea about this but I'm super stoked that this is being made into a movie! Of all of his books I think that this one would be awesome on film, and if The Fault in Our Stars film adaptation is any indication of how this one will be, I think it's safe to say that it's going to be amazing. 

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Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

I want to start this review by mentally slapping every single person who has ever told me that this was an adorable book. Sure, it might be adorable at times, but that's not exactly the word I would use to describe Eleanor & Park. Instead, I might use a word like heart-wrenching, intense, or desperate. I expected this book to be a cutesy love story, and instead I spent the greater part of my morning sobbing into a throw pillow. Eleanor and Park's love is reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet's. They are a couple of star-crossed lovers if I ever knew one. What makes this book so completely devastating is that from the very beginning you know that they don't stay together. The very first line of the book is from Park's perspective saying "He'd stopped trying to bring her back." (Rowell 1), meaning they don't stay together even though he wanted them to. This made it so hard to enjoy the book. Even during the most romantic moments that should have been adorable and heart-warming, the air was tainted with this knowledge that, in the end, they don't stay together. This is why it's so hard for me to understand how anyone managed to coo at this book. Every time they kissed or hugged or held hands or let each other know how much they loved the other, I died a little inside knowing that it wouldn't last. And as the book progressed, as I neared the end, I not only found them but also found myself becoming increasingly more desperate. And maybe it's hindsight bias that I felt that way, but Eleanor seemed completely convinced that she and Park couldn't go on forever, that her stepfather would eventually find out and then everything would go up in smoke. And of course she was right. However, the fact that I predicted the ending doesn't change the fact that it was painful to read. On the contrary, I think knowing that it was going to happen took away a lot of the "What's going to happen next?" feeling away and allowed my emotions to take over and drive. This book had me in a puddle for a number of reasons by the time I reached the end, and it was totally worth it.

1. Did the book capture my attention? (.5/1)

There were a lot of moments during my reading where I asked myself "Where is this going?" Sometimes the book lacked direction. It didn't feel like the characters were doing anything for a reason. I suppose I feel this way mostly because I knew that in the end it would fall apart. 

2. Did the book stick with me after reading? (1/1)

I feel permanently affected by this book. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like curling up into the fetal position and quitting life? Yeah, that's about right. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

Eleanor & Park taught me that even though love is glamorized by artists, musicians, and anyone who thinks they know anything about it, it's not always fun. Love can be painful, all-consuming, suffocating, and desperate. Love is also strange. It's not always this formula of hot guy + hot girl = true love. Eleanor and Park aren't exactly mentally or physically compatible, but for some reason they love each other and because of that they tolerate the other's faults. They say that love is blind, but I think in most cases, this book being one of them, love just has a different perspective on the world. Eleanor, to most people, seems stubborn, awkward, rude, and overly-eccentric. In Park's eyes, though, she is a work of art. When he remembers her being difficult and rude, he misses it instead of resents it. This book taught me that not all love is the same, but it is all worth fighting for.

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

In case it hasn't been made clear already, yes, yes this story made me feel. They weren't good feelings, but they are feelings! I feel suffocated and helpless and utterly dejected. This story was depressing from the first to the last sentence, and that's not an exaggeration. 

5. Was it original? (.75/1)

This book was predictable in that you kind of knew what was going to happen to them as you were reading it, but you didn't exactly know how it would happen. I did not expect their love to be as powerful as it was. I love books like this, because there are so many people who claim that teenagers don't know what love is and can't possibly know what it means to truly have their heart broken. But Eleanor and Park's love is truer than any love you will see in the real world. Just because they are teenagers doesn't mean they don't feel and doesn't mean that their love isn't valid. Love isn't like voting. You don't just reach a certain age and then suddenly are capable of doing it. I loved this book for that reason and many others. As far as its originality goes, though, it is a typical love story based on the most atypical of loves. 

Total rating: 4.25/5 stars

I certainly didn't expect what this book would really be about. 2 misfits falling in love is such an insufficient tagline to describe this book. It didn't play into what I wanted it to be or what I expected it to be. Instead it turned out to be so much better and so much more powerful than I could have thought possible. 

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It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

Let me just set the tone for this review by saying that I absolutely adored this book. Maybe it's because I related to Craig on so many levels and maybe it has to do with how real all of the characters were or maybe it's both and some other stuff, too! The story follows 15-year-old Craig Gilner, a teen living in New York City who has recently been admitted to an extremely competitive high school in Manhattan. Once school starts up, Craig finds himself completely overwhelmed with the stresses of school work, friends, and expectations for his future. After only a few months of attending this school, Craig is diagnosed with depression. He can't eat. He can't sleep. He can't live with himself. One night, after months of struggling with his own inner turmoil, Craig decides to kill himself. However, just before he does he calls a suicide hotline, which leads him to Argenon Hospital in Brooklyn where he checks himself in to the short-term psychiatric program. During his 5-day stay, Craig has to come to terms with his life and the tentacles that drove him to attempt suicide. 

1. Did it capture my attention? (.75/1)

This book is primarily though-based, so unless you're completely committed and interested in what's going on inside Craig's mind, this book can be a little dry. I did end up reading some books in between starting and finishing this book but I did come back to it and I'm so glad that I did. While there were some dry parts there were also these little sparks of familiarity that I found riddled throughout this book, and that's what really kept me reading this. 

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (1/1)

I just finished it so it's hard to tell now but there's so many parts of this book that I related to and that helped me understand myself that I don't see how it couldn't stick with me. I don't think I've related to a character more in my life that I do to Craig Gilner. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

Just to quote a few...

"Why were the other kids doing better than me? Because they were better, that's why. That's what I knew every time I sat down online or got on the subway to Aron's house. Other people weren't smoking and jerking off, and those that were were gifted- able to live and compete at the same time. I wasn't gifted. Mom was wrong. I was just smart and I worked hard. I had fooled myself into thinking that was something important to the rest of the world. Other people were complicit in this ruse. Nobody had told me I was common." (Vizzini 96)

"'What would be a good [college] be?' 'Harvard. Yale. Duh.'…'Anyway…It's all about living a sustainable life. I don't think I'm going to be able to have one…with a real job and a real house and everything.' 'And a family?' 'Of course! You have to have that. What kind of success are you if you don't have that?'" (Vizzini 107)

"…there are no such things as shoulds and woulds in the universe…There are only things that could have turned out differently." (Vizzini 146)

"-Good job out there. I'm glad you're still on board. I don't feel any better. Life's not about feeling better; it's about getting the job done." (Vizzini 161)

"'I'm going to be here until I'm cured?' 'Life is not cured, Mr. Gilner…Life is managed.'" (Vizzini 239)

"I don't owe people anything, and I don't have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to." (Vizzini 396)

and last but not least, my favorite.

"Ski. Sled. Play basketball. Jog. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy. Enjoy. Take these verbs and enjoy them. They're yours, Craig. You deserve them because you chose them. You could have left them all behind but you chose to stay here. So now live for real, Craig. Live. Live. Live. Live. Live." (Vizzini 444)

If there's one lesson I took away from this book, above all else, it's that life is meant to be lived. It's sounds so cliche to say it that way, but it makes sense. Craig's struggle throughout this book is that he over thinks. He states once or twice that he over thinks. Before he comes to the hospital, he's in constant worry of failing school and thereby failing at life. Once he arrives at the hospital, each second of the day is planned and scheduled for him to be doing something, whether that's eating or getting his vitals checked or smoking or drawing or playing cards with Armelio. From doing he finds happiness. He stops worrying about what should be or what would be and instead focuses on living to make himself happy rather than make himself what others consider to be a success.

4. Did it make me feel? (1/1)

I had moments where I was so overcome with joy that somebody else knows how I felt during high school that I wanted to cry. At the very end, on the very last page, I became teary eyed at Craig's last words in the book. I don't usually cry at books, at all, but this one really had me. 

5. Was it original? (1/1)

It's rare to come across a book whose characters are so authentic and real. Craig was your typical teenage boy. I didn't always like him and I didn't always agree with what he had to say but he was a real person. If you haven't read this, at the very end there is a page which states "Ned Vizzini spent five days in adult psychiatric in Methodist Hospital, Park Slope, Brooklyn, 11/29/04-12/3/04. Ned wrote this 12/10/04-1/6/05." This makes it pretty clear that Vizzini's book is based on his own experiences. The book isn't an autobiography, though, so it's hard to say which parts were true and which parts were fabricated. That doesn't keep this story from feeling real, though. Craig, or Ned, went through things that I and many of my friends have gone through. This book is so important because not only does it highlight the amount of pressure kids have to perform well and out-compete their peers, but it also stresses the idea that no matter how much people are expecting from us, the choices we make have to be choices that benefit us before anyone else. This is one of those books that I think every kid should pick up at some point in their adolescence. 

Total rating: 4.75/5 stars

Please feel free to contact me about any opinions or ideas you have about this book, because I would love to hear them and discuss! Also, if anyone out there ever needs somebody to talk to or is feeling overwhelmed with their life, don't hesitate to shoot me a message!

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Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

I was so stoked to read this book! Oh my goodness. After Anna and the French Kiss I became obsessed with all things contemporary romance in an effort to find more cutesy love stories like the one between Anna and Etienne, which makes it even more upsetting that I didn't really enjoy this book. Don't get me wrong, it has the same lovey-dovey vibe that Anna and the French Kiss had to offer, but there were so many problems I had with the characters that it made it hard to fall in love with them as much as they fell in love with each other. And just like in Anna, there are romantic bits before they finally get together that build up to the climax, but I just didn't feel it. The cutest and most romantic parts of this book, for me, were the moments between Anna and Etienne. I'm not going to lie, Anna and Etienne did some pretty dumb shit when they were starting out, but at least they had some redeeming qualities to balance out their flaws. Lola, on the other hand, had flaws that stuck out far more than her strengths. She was inherently selfish and immature. During a good chunk of the book she keeps saying how she doesn't deserve cricket, but she hardly made an effort to do so. The one instance she does at the end of the book she asks him a question about his home life, as if that's being anything more than a decent human being. She constantly lies to her boyfriend, Max, about her feelings towards Cricket, as well as to her parents about where she was going half of the time. She led Cricket on even though whew as already in a committed relationship. (there was one particular scene in a pizza shop that I just wanted to throw her at a wall) I know that she was confused and in love without wanting to admit it, but that's no excuse to act like that towards the people who care about you. 

As for Max, the only reason anyone had a problem with him is that he's older than Lola. It's not until Lola and Max's breakup that we see there was anything wrong with him at all. He's a little jealous, sure, and him sleeping with another girl after their breakup was vindictive, but considering what Lola put him through I don't know that what he did was all that ridiculous. She lied to him. She withheld information about her past with the Bells that he should have known. She snuck around with Cricket, knowing that Max wouldn't be comfortable with it. (as well he should have been, being that the first time he meets Cricket he's asking out his girlfriend) I mean, what sane boyfriend would be ok with that? Their breakup was simply a convenient time to point out that Max had flaws, making him seem like the bad guy and Lola the victim. It's obvious they weren't meant to be, though. He had a problem with her costumes, and I can see why. Looking at it from his point of view, each time Lola puts on a new costume she's putting up a new facade, a lie that is trying to cover up who she really is. That's not the way that Lola sees it, though, which is one of the main reasons they didn't work as a couple. Simply put, I didn't like how Max was made out to be the antagonist when he was simply acting like a rational human being with a tendency to be jealous.

For the most part, any character other than Lola was extremely flat. Nathan was characteristically belligerent when it comes to Lola and her relationship drama, whereas Andy is characteristically rational. Lindsey is only ever focused on becoming Nancy Drew, with the small add-in of Charlie to mix things up. Calliope is, of course, the bitch that is always trying to keep Lola from Cricket. Max is a jealous rock-punk. I will way, though, that Norah did have her moments for me. In her introduction she was simply a nuisance to the family, but as the story progressed she does become more of a mother and less of a bum. 

All in all, it wasn't a bad contemporary, but I was expecting something along the lines of Anna and the French Kiss and I ended up with a second-rate teen romance.

So without further ado...

1. Did it capture my attention? (1/1)

The story line was interesting, no doubt. From the description and even the title of the book it was obvious from the beginning that Lola would end up falling in love with Cricket. However, there were so many sub-plots, what with Anna/Etienne getting involved, her relationship with Max, Norah, her parents, and Calliope that the manner in which everything played out was completely up in the air. 

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (.25/1)

Most of what I had running through my mind was "What went wrong?" I had been so excited to read this book after reading Perkins' first book that I couldn't imagine not liking it. And then as I thought about it more things started to clear up and I saw definitive reasons for not liking this book as much as I hoped to. I want to make this clear, it's not a bad book, but it's not as good as I had hoped it would be. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (0/1)

I really have nothing to say in response to this question other than no, I learned nothing from this book. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.5/1)

I felt a lot of the confusion that Lola was going through. It's hard for me to completely disagree or agree with a character's choices when I'm experiencing the story with them, so when Lola was feeling flustered about how to handle her love life I myself felt the same way. I didn't feel a whole lot of connection between Cricket and Lola that I did for Perkins' first novel, but I did get pretty teary-eyed at the end when Cricket gives her the solar system automaton. Too cute. 

5. Was it original? (.75/1)

Perkins has this wonderful ability to turn what should be nothing more than the setting of a novel into a character in and of itself. I've never read another author's works that had the ability to do that. The major characters were also very well written, each with their own definitive personality that is complete unique. The storyline, though, was pretty typical in my opinion. 

Total Rating: 2.5/5 stars

If anyone has any opinions about this book, whether you agree or disagree with me, please feel free to shoot me a message. I would love to hear any opinions about this book!

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Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

How did I wind up here? This as not on my TBR list, nor was I ever planning to put it on my TBR list. I don't really read fanfic, so why would I read a book about it?

The answer to all of these questions is simple: I am extremely impatient and I have a problem. 

I was supposed to have received an order of 6 or so books from Amazon that I had been anticipating for several weeks now. However, due to the fact that my dad postponed our mail until Saturday, I wouldn't get them in time for work. I need books for work because I have a lot of free time that needs to be spent doing something other than cleaning a hotdog cooker for the hundredth time even though it's already spotless. And please, I've heard the whole "Well you could try working" bull shit before. I don't think people understand what I mean when I say I have an 11 hour shift sitting in a hut in the middle of a golf course by myself. There is no work to be done unless a guy comes in to get a powerade and some crackers. Anyway I'm not here to rant about my job, I'm here to talk about this book, because I didn't plan on reading it but I did and I have some thoughts about it.

I think the story as a whole is good, but there was one thing I couldn't get past that really prevented me from loving this book. My problem is that I'm not a huge fan of fan fiction, especially "Harry Potter" fan fiction. Don't get me wrong, I love the Harry Potter series, and that's exactly why I couldn't get past the mock-Potter fandom present in the book. And I'm not trying to say that I don't approve of people wanting to continue the story or wanting to make their own stories out of it, but the series to me is limited within the parameters of Rowling's pages. She is, in my opinion, the God of that world and anything that anyone writes as an addition to or extension of her work isn't really the series to me. This made it super difficult to remain interested in the story because for a good bit of it I was trying to figure out which characters in the Simon Snow series were supposed to represent which characters from the Harry Potter series and if Rowell was trying to say anything about the Harry Potter series by using the Simon Snow series. To me it felt like, even though I wasn't reading Harry Potter, I was more interested in that than I was in this book. 

A side-note question to all fandoms and fanfics that exist and all of the people who participate in them: What's with making the main characters gay? I don't mean this in a homophobic way at all, because I'm genuinely curious about this. I want to understand the fascination with changing the sexuality of characters, because it happens all the time and I don't see why.

About Cath. I know a lot of people really enjoy her character because she is someone that isn't written about all that often. Reading contemporaries you don't usually come across a girl who is so introverted she'd rather eat protein bars for months than go to a cafeteria to get dinner. I thought it was great to have girls like that represented in a book for once. 

To the questions!!

1. Did the book capture my attention? (.75/1)

For the most part, yes. The fanfics made me pretty uncomfortable but all around I was interested. I finished it within a 24-hour period, so I guess that says something.

2. Did it stick with me after reading? (.5/1)

There wasn't a whole lot to ponder or recover from. I did finish it at night and had to take a break until the next afternoon before starting a new book. 

3. Did it teach me anything? (1/1)

There are books about people I am and books about people I want to be. This book brought out some things about myself that I don't necessarily like but do hope to fix, even though I didn't realize them before. 

4. Did it make me feel? (.5/1)

I know a lot of people said they cried while reading this book because they related to Cath so well and felt the things that she felt. I, however, am not one of those people and found it hard to relate to the extreme at which she is an introvert. I am an introvert myself, but I was more fascinated than anything at how badly some people struggle with it.

5. Was it original? (1/1)

I loved the fact that I was able to read about Cath and Levi's relationship after they got together. Too often in contemporaries do the stories end just as a couple finally kisses or admits they love each other. I loved being able to see Cath's development in how to be a girlfriend. Also, ya romance is usually about a girl who is a little quirky and surrounds herself with only a few choice friends, but this is the first book I've read about a character who is so explicitly introverted and shy when it comes to socializing.

Total rating: 3.75/5