amadeusorigin

[amadeusorigin]

One of my classes for this semester is on tabletop games and requires making a tabletop game demo by the end of the semester. It may be fun to post updates on that to here and maybe release the demo free here once it's done. Not like it'll be good enough for anyone to take interest in it lel.

[amadeusorigin]

Worth It The Monster Whispers

Before the brain,

The legs move faster,

The little body pushed to the side,

A panicked flail of the arm.

Metal on flesh,

Bend and break,

Scream and fly into the air,

In what kind of comedy is the truck the victim?

Incapable of understanding,

Of perceiving the mere reality,

I retreat back to those simple ideals,

“It is what it is” can surely save me.

Even then I feel the stares,

Thousands and thousands of times over.

Monster monster monster,

All their shrinking pupils scream into my ringing brain.

Surely they’re scared for nothing.

Just a misconception,

A horribly contrived version of a definition,

So don’t look at me so cruelly.

Don’t act like I’m not human.

I run and don’t look back.

Out of breath and feeling my stomach shrinking,

I curl up in a place free of displacement.

I whisper assurement and wait for my heart to believe it.

These hands touch my head and they hurt to believe in.

Breaker of metal,

Immovable to forces strong enough to pulverize,

And savior,

A savior to someone.

Surely that made it all worth it.

A smile.

It did,

It really did.

Now to be selfish,

Get back on my feet,

And disappear.

---

A poem about a pretty neat monster

[amadeusorigin]

I am Imtithal from northern Gaza. I live in very difficult conditions because of the war and I struggle to provide basic necessities. I was displaced with my children 17 times in search of a safe place. There is no safe place. We suffer from a shortage of water, food, medicine and milk. Because of the famine war that we have been going through for 10 months, I need your support so that we can survive. Even if the support is simple, it helps my family a lot. Please donate and participate.

I'm sure since I'm a nothing blog many other people have already shared this. Regardless, do go support them if you have the monetary ability to do so, and share if you can. GoFundMe link- https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-imtsal-and-her-family-have-a-better-future?attribution_id=sl:ae171ddf-e304-46e3-a00d-029f20526f19&utm_campaign=man_ss_icons&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link

[amadeusorigin]

History Repeats Itself

My brain goes fuzzy,

It pulses and it strains,

As desperately I beg,

I plead for things to change.

The words do not relent.

Rather they seem to laugh,

As on and on they go,

Their mediocrity my torment.

Yet in my vainness,

My stupidity,

Or my need to validate,

I turn the page.

At least,

When the last word is read,

I can rate this shit a three,

Breathe a peaceful breath and do it all again.

---

A poem about the disappointment that led to my day being ruined.

[amadeusorigin]

First day back to classes and already slamming face first into unnecessary hurdles.

If you tell your class they can wait to buy the textbook till the end of the week, and then inform them on the first day that is no longer the case and they have three days or they perma-fail the class, your ass is going on a bounty list.

[amadeusorigin]

Open All Night

TW: Blood, Death, Mentions/Illusions to Gore

---

The quiet of the night,

The buzzing of the fluorescent lights,

I let forth a reprise,

The diner fills with soft hums of peaceful lies.

Just a few feet away,

Dangling from loose tendons and veins,

The arm circles round and round,

Parading the ground in petals of pain.

Sip,

A drip,

Sweet metal hits the back of this parched throat.

More more more is the only word this mind can echo.

Let another late night visitor come refill my drink.

---

A Poem About Some Weird Crime Scene I Passed On The Way To Class

[amadeusorigin]

First Post

Writing is hard. First post cause I can't manage to write a poem to save my life.

[amadeusorigin]

the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese