amberscriminalmind

[amberscriminalmind]

my love, my life 🥹💔

pairing : dr spencer reid x hispanic married bau fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of mamma mia's version of abba's song, "my love, my life", we see spencer reid and his wife cecelia reid have their first child, a little girl called sage morgan reid, who was born on the same day as and named after her maternal grandmother sage perez.

warnings : mentions of deaths of parents from cancer, the birth of a child and baptism of said child, non-religious parents, crying, abba music if that's a warning, medical inaccuracies when it comes to pregnancy, inaccurate mentions of coronavirus

a/n : wanted to write this fic for spencer after writing it in my formula 1 universe. also, yes, i'm having this set during covid-19 however, i am slightly de-aging spencer and therefore cecelia as well by only a couple of years since in 2020 he was canonically 38 years old to 35 years old. i am also keeping my reader of spanish descent due to parents but still being allowed to be in the fbi due to being an american citizen.

a/n : only slightly de-aging spencer out of canon age because i actually didn't realise he was 38 in 2020 but, we move, i'm still de-aging him to 35, hence why it's called fan-fic and isn't canon.

i've never felt this strong, i'm invincible, how could this go wrong?

december 28 | twenty twenty

cecelia almost screamed but couldn't since she was in the bathrooms of the behavioural analysis unit in quantico, virginia. the rest of her and her husbands team in the bullpen none the wiser of what was going on in the girl's bathroom. this couldn't have been the reason why cecelia had been so sick recently, absolutely not was she pregnant and had been for a whole entire trimester already?

there was absolutely no way that the positive pregnancy test in front of her and the messages from her obstetrician over the random quantico hospital phone app that she had were telling her that she had spent the last twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant with her and her husband spencer's first child. whilst also having had absolutely no idea whilst also going through the last year of her mother's life due to cancer. sage perez succumbing to the horrific disease a couple of weeks ago, not even, on the fifteenth of this month.

but, it was absolutely true that cecelia was pregnant with her first baby. and it was the fact that if only she found out even two weeks ago, she may have just made it in time to tell her mom about her newest grandchild. and that was what took cecelia's strength and invincibility that she had built up since the death of sage from one hundred to zero with the click of a finger. cecelia was panicking, she was bent over crying, her head resting on the bathroom sink as her iphone filmed the entire thing. she had taken the pregnancy test at first as a joke after jj, best friend & fellow bau agent, suggested it since jj had recognised the way cecelia was sick being the same way she was sick when she was pregnant with her and husband's first child. not once at all did cecelia think she was pregnant, sure, she thought she was ill but she genuinely just thought that was due to the grief and stress she had put herself through after the death of her mom sage and the broken heart syndrome that her father, riccardo, had just recently received.

no, here, here's where we belong, i see a road ahead i never thought i would dare to tread.

after cecelia finished her freak-out, she realised that maybe, whilst it was a road she never thought she'd tread, it was a road she belonged driving on. even with her and her husband being fbi agents and constantly travelling around the country. wiping away her tears, cecelia picked up the pregnancy test with her shaky hands and she smiled, turning the positive pregnancy test to the iphone camera as she started laughing.

whispering, she spoke up, "...spence is going to freak the fuck out! oh my gosh, he's going to be so happy this said positive! oh my gosh!" cecelia giggled as she then looked down to her tummy which didn't even indicate a 12/14 week baby bump

cecelia then realised because she was going into her second trimester, she was able to tell the rest of her family since there was now no longer any worry about her losing the baby. and then, she started crying all over again when she remembered spencer. he had always wanted to have a little family of his own. having a little mini spencer or little mini cecelia running around. and now, his dream was finally coming true. but, without his wife's mom with them and with his mom succumbing to her illnesses. 

turning back to her iphone, cecelia spoke up again, "i need to tell everyone! but what do i do? i can't just tell them..." the bau agent trailed off as she tried to think of what she could do to announce the pregnancy to the rest of her family and husband as she quickly pressed stop on her camera recording

that was when a knock sounded on her door and she almost screamed, however, the voice that followed was not who she thought it was, "...i am so sorry, i didn't mean to scare you cece, it's just jj here, are you okay? you've been in the bathroom for a while now, what did the test say?" breathing out in relief, cecelia unlocked the door so her best friend could let herself in

letting herself in, jj closed the door and felt her heart sink when she saw her best friend's teary face however, she wasn't ready for the scream that was to follow, "...i'm pregnant jayje!" cecelia squealed out as loudly but also as quietly as possible as jj's face lit up in excitement

"seriously? cecelia, i didn't even mean to--"

"--no, don't apologise, jayje! it's a good thing that you recognised my symptoms as being the same ones you had when you were pregnant! because i totally wouldn't have, not until i was giving birth anyway it seems like it..." cecelia trailed off as jj looked confused

"...what do you mean? you can't be that far along, could you?" jj questioned as cecelia nodded her head as jj's eyes widened

"jj, i've been pregnant for an entire trimester...if only i found out earlier, i may have been able to tell mom..." cecelia trailed off as jj's face deflated as she moved closer to the younger blonde

"...oh sweetie...cecelia i am so sorry!" jj's voice trembled as she pulled her best friend in for a hug

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life.

january | twenty twenty-one

cecelia and spencer couldn't hide their excitement as they watched their ob-gyn do an ultrasound of their baby. thankful that spencer was even able to make it to the ultrasound considering being an fbi agent could sometimes be rather unkind. after giggling over the coldness of the gel that the nurse had placed on her stomach, cecelia was entranced by the image on the ultrasound screen. she couldn't believe that inside of her tummy was a growing human being. whilst it wasn't their first ultrasound of their baby, it was still something that blew the husband and wife's minds every single time they came in for a new scan.

"...mr and mrs reid, because of how many weeks the baby is, we are able to tell you guys the sex, is that something you want to know now or would you like to wait until the birth to find out?" the female ob-gyn questioned as cecelia and spencer smiled, their excitement doubling

"may we know now?" cecelia asked nervously, spencer nodding his head in agreement with his wife as the nurse smiled and nodded her own head in confirmation

"of course, you guys can! well, if you just look here, i can tell you that you are having a baby girl!" the ob-gyn was stoked to tell the new parents they were having a little girl, cecelia and spencer were silenced by shock

thankfully though, they weren't silenced for too long as tears quickly slipped from the corner of cecelia's eye that was closest to spencer as he wiped them away for her, "we're having a little girl, cece! that's amazing, thank you, doctor!" spencer spoke up with excitement as the doctor smiled and nodded her head as she moved the probe across cecelia's tummy a few more times

"my pleasure spencer and cecelia, and i can already tell how loved this little munchkin is," she responded as she wiped off the residual gel that had stayed on cecelia's tummy, allowing the soon-to-be mom to clean herself up properly

whilst the ob-gyn cleared her own station and led the reid's back to the reception desk with the little envelope with the pink piece of paper inside of it stating that their baby was a little girl, she couldn't help but feel her heart breaking for the way cecelia reacted. it wasn't a secret that the reid and perez family had just gone through a tragedy. it was clear with the way cecelia had been talking about the pregnancy, whilst she was extremely happy, there was always an edge of sadness. especially when it was found out that cecelia had lost her mother.

and it was obvious that finding out that cecelia was now pregnant, not that long after the loss of her mom and now finding out it's a little girl would have been so conflicting and an added bag of emotions for the girl to be carrying with her. the nurse just hoped that this child, this little girl would be the healing angel that cecelia and the rest of her family needed to heal and to see the light at the end of the grieving.

and, turns out that the ob-gyn was correct, that little girl would be the healing angel that the entire reid/perez family needed.

i can see it all so clearly, all i love so dearly, images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life are the words i try to find, my love, my life.

february | twenty twenty-one

cecelia smiled and watched as the people around her celebrated the baby announcement. it had taken a while but cecelia and spencer finally decided that they were no longer able to keep this secret from the rest of their team any longer. telling their unit chief, aaron hotchner first, they talked about cecelia's pregnancy.

ever since spencer and cecelia had their last ultrasound scan when they found out they were having a little girl, cecelia had blown up like a little balloon and was starting to show. so, it had started to get harder to hide her bump. however, she managed with one of spencer's sweaters and her classy black slack pants and mary jane shoes since it was still too early for her maternity leave to kick in just yet.

however, today was still the day that spencer and cecelia were telling the rest of the team that she was pregnant so hotch staged a pretend emergency meeting in the bullpen. which, obviously, got everyone's attention with the fear that something bad had happened. when really, hotch was sitting calmly as was spencer and cecelia at the round table.

and it was morgan that was the first to say something, "...and what was the emergency, hotch? everything alright?" confused, he sat down as did the rest of the agents with confusion except for jj who was smiling, knowing exactly what this emergency meeting was for

"everything's fine team but, there is some news that spencer and cecelia would like to share with you guys so, spencer & cecelia, whenever you're ready, go ahead and say it..." hotch trails off as that truly freaks everyone out minus jj and hotch

"...i know the way hotch worded the introduction sounded a bit ominus but, i promise guys, nothing bad has happened. however, because we don't like to hide anything from you guys, we told you guys last year that spence and i were trying for kids and it wasn't happening..." cecelia trailed off, trying to keep the happy news a secret however, it seemed as though her smile that couldn't be held back gave the secret away

"...oh my gosh...cece, are...are you and spence pregnant?" emily was the first one to ask, shocking everyone that it wasn't penelope, the tech analyst in complete shock this was even happening

"yes, em. i am pregnant with spencer and i's first baby and obviously, because of that, that will mean that eventually, in the upcoming months, i will be leaving on maternity leave to make sure nothing bad happens to the little squirt. but, in saying that, i do hope to be back within a year or two after the birth of baby reid. in a similar way jj came back after having her boys because spencer and i are still figuring out the ins and outs of whether or not one of us will leave or take a sabbatical or what just yet..." cecelia explains as cheers and squeals fill up the bullpen which makes spencer and cecelia smile

it truly made their hearts sing with joy at how happy and supportive their team was at this new announcement of their first child. it really made them feel like they made the correct choices in deciding to pursue a job at the bau with this specific team. then, the other questions about cecelia's pregnancy was asked. questions like if they knew the gender of the baby yet, how big the baby was, how many weeks she was. and cecelia and spencer happily answered every single question which was mostly asked by penelope after she had pulled herself out of the shock she had been in earlier.

but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you, you'll be my love and my life. you're my one and only.

present time | twenty twenty-two

cecelia was running around everywhere like a headless chicken as spencer and their little baby girl stood watching. spencer was trying to sort everything out but wasn't able to due to the way she was so manic about it and, carlos called her out over it.

"...baby...babe...CECELIA...darling, you won't be able to sort everything out before little one's baptism if you continue to be so manic over it!" spencer chuckled at the end as cecelia finally stopped herself and nodded her head in agreement

"sorry babe, it's just..."

"...yeah, i get it, it's hard that she's not here but, just remember who still is here. i'm here baby, you're here, our little girl is here. if you keep on freaking out, you won't be able to get anything done..." spencer trailed off before continuing

"...i know your mom wasn't so sure about our future children getting baptised into the catholic church. but, it's truly only because of the fact that her grandfather is spanish and, if my own mom wasn't so insistent, i would have also said no to this happening. but, because i'd get my arse kicked, i compromised...we compromised and said our children would only get baptised and if they so chose to be religious as they got older, they could choose..." spencer smiled as he wrapped his arms around cecelia as she smiled and nodded her head

her husband was correct. the only reason why their one-year-old was getting baptised into the catholic church at a year old was because of the little girl's spanish lineage due to her maternal grandparents being fully born and raised in spain. because originally, not only cecelia but spencer was unsure about their children being baptised when it wasn't really a thing that exisited in both his and his wife's family.

whilst cecelia's parents were brought up in heavily religious hispanic families, cecelia's parents didn't raise cecelia the same way due to the trauma sage and ricciardo separately went through within the church. spencer didn't grow up religious but when he started his job in the fbi, that was when he truly realised just how unsure he was about whether or not he believed in the thought of god or jesus even exisiting. it was only because of cecelia's father and his compromise of being baptised as a baby but choosing to leave the religion when they were older if they so chose to that her and spencer agreed on their daughter being baptised otherwise they would have said no without a second thought. 

"...so, cece, what is it you need to get done before we leave?" spencer was calm and he was collected and that was truly one of the reasons why cecelia fell in love with him other than the obvious reasons

and, when it came to responding to her husband's question, cecelia had no idea how to respond, "umm, i actually don't know..." and that was because everything that needed to be done had already been done so this very situation wouldn't happen even though it was going to happen anyway because it always did

"...thought so, and it's because everything has already been done! we should be in the car driving to the church right now for bug's christening but, because i already suspected that this was going to happen, i rang up the priest in advance just in case. so, your welcome my love, now can we make our way out of this house and to the church, please?" spencer tilted his head to the side with a cheeky smile as cecelia opened and then closed her mouth and smiled, shaking her head

"thanks, spence. i'd really be losing the plot if i didn't have you with me," cecelia whispered as she moved closer to her husband and daughter, her lips almost caressing her husband's face as he pulled away with a chuckle

"not here babe, we need to go watch our daughter's christening and your welcome and i too would lose the plot if i didn't have you with me, my darling," spencer spoke as the husband and wife left it at that with their conversation and made it out of their house to their car

on their drive to the church for their daughter's christening into the catholic chruch, which would be photographed by jj's husband will and a few of their friends, cecelia felt a calm rush over her. her husband was right, she should really stop making her focus be on those who she no longer has with her. even though it included both her parents, sage and riccardo, riccardo lost his battle with broken heart syndrome ten months after sage, a couple of months after cecelia had given birth to her and spencer's little girl.

i held you close to me, felt your heart beat and i thought: i am free. oh yes, and as one are we in the now and beyond, nothing and no one can break this bond.

may | twenty twenty-one

cecelia hadn't felt this kind of pain in her life before but, it was a pain that she was sure she never wanted to feel again...even if it meant she never gave her daughter any more siblings. but, in all truthfulness, this pain was surely going to be forgotten about any moment when she...

...hears the cries of her little baby girl for the very first time...

"...here's your little girl, mom and dad. isn't she just gorgeous?" hayley, cecelia's midwife smiled as she handed over the baby girl as cecelia choked down a happy sob, her arms cradling her baby girl as though it was a regular instinct - as if in a past life cecelia had been a mother before

"she's beautiful, oh my goodness, we made this baby, spence!" cecelia turned to her husband who smiled tearfully as he nodded his head, too tired to speak

"yeah we did darling, we made out little miracle!" spencer sniffled, wiping away a tear with his shoulder as he slowly sat himself down on the edge of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up to touch the top of his newborn's head

"wow...we're parents, spence. we actually have our little family! we have our little dogs, our husky girl bambi and flounder and now we have our little sage morgan..." cecelia trailed off, tears hitting her eyes as she realised she had just said the name of her baby girl out loud for the first time

and it made both spencer and hayley smile, "...so, is sage morgan this little pretty's name?" she asked, rolling her wheely chair towards the computer to write up the birth certificate as both parents, cecelia and spencer nodded their heads

"yeah, sage morgan is her name...sage for her first name since that's her abuela's name and because they were born on the same day and morgan as her middle name in tribute for her uncle, derek morgan," cecelia explained as hayley nodded her head, knowing the significance of the little girl's name

"that's beautiful, cecelia. however, because little sagey is earlier than her due date in august, we do have to place her in an incubator, however, once she reaches a certain weight, she'll be able to leave. is that all okay?" hayley asks, knowing how daunting it can be from being so happy with your newborn in your arms to them then being taken away to a different room

and cecelia and spencer smiled, both understanding that they couldn't hold onto their little girl forever like many other parents who had their babies on time, "absolutely fine, hayley. thank you for telling us, we'll be glad to hear that she'll be able to gain some more weight since she is really tiny," cecelia spoke up, only now realising just how tiny their little sage was as spencer too only realised

"wonderful, well, if you two want to, we can either have the grandmother and godparents meet little sagey in here or we can place her in the incubator and have them meet her in there. which would you prefer?" hayley then asks as cecelia and spencer smile, they could choose how their family meet their little bundle of joy

"we can choose?" spencer choked out in shock as hayley giggled and nodded her head with a smile, making the new parents smile

"absolutely you can! however, if you do want for them to meet sage in here, it can only be for five minutes per person before i'd have to then take her and place her into an incubator a couple of floors above us. is that okay?" hayley questioned as spencer and cecelia nodded their heads straight away

"that's absolutely fine, hayley! we just want them to see her, they've waited for so long already, i feel selfish enough making them wait whilst we have this conversation," cecelia giggled as hayley nodded her head 

this movement encouraged spencer to fetch his mom, sage's paternal grandmother and the godparents. who, were obviously derek morgan and emily prentiss, two of their closest bau teammates. 

so, that's what spencer did, like the proud husband and father he was, he wiped away his tears with a tissue. placed it in his pant pocket, gave a kiss to his two girls and rushed down the hallway to announce the happy news.

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. i can see it all so clearly, images passing by

june | twenty twenty-one

the last time cecelia had sat in the bullpen with hotch and their team, she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy with little sage and now, she was just a month gone from giving birth to the little girl.

and today she was back in the bullpen so she could have a team check-in with hotch since he was worried about her. he had heard of the stress of sage's birth and how early she had been welcomed into the world. he wanted to make sure one of his star agents wasn't struggling with any postpartum depression or any pain from giving birth. whilst sage was a small baby, she still caused some tears and complications for her mom.

"...cecelia, how are you and spencer going with baby sage?" hotch asked seriously after the two had been having lighthearted converstions

"we've been good, thanks hotch. of course we've had our freakout moments like all new parents do but, i think we're slowly getting the hang of having a new baby with us," cecelia smiled lovingly, her eyes lighting up at the thought of her baby girl, which hotch noticed and smiled

"yeah, having kids is life-changing. is sage still in the nicu or has she been able to come home?" hotch then asks, remembering that the last time he checked in sage was still needing to gain a little bit more weight

"sage is being discharged today so, it's very exciting. spencer's actually leaving to go pick her up and hopefully you guys will be able to finally meet her!" cecelia smiled as hotch's face softened, whilst he loved his little boy jack being at the age of conversing and having a slight understanding of things around him, he really did miss the newborn stage

"that is exciting. how old is sage now?" hotch asks with a soft and sweet smile as cecelia smiled back as it took her a moment to remember

"she's a month-old today i think if it's the twenty-ninth today..." cecelia trailed off, softly cursing her mom-brain as hotch nodded his head, confirming it was the twenty-ninth

"...it is the twenty-ninth. wow, she's a month-old already? that's crazy, it feels like just yesterday that you went into labour here in the office, similar to jj," hotch smiled as cecelia giggled and nodded her head

"it does feel like that doesn't it, hotch?" cecelia smiled as she watched her husband spencer rush over to the elevator to finally pick up their baby girl from the nicu

"derek and emily good godparents to sage?" hotch asks as cecelia smiles again and nods her head, they were perfect godparents to sage and she was only a month old

"they are perfect, hotch! already, they're giving her flowers, little stuffed teddies and blankies. they are spoiling their little sagey girl with constant visits and so much love. it was only fair to make them godparents, especially derek's last name was her middle name." cecelia smiled as hotch nodded his head also smiling

"was morgan always going to be sage's middle name or were you going between other variations?" hotch questioned as cecelia giggled as she felt more comfortable

"her name was always going to have morgan in it somewhere, whether it was her first name or middle name but, it wasn't until spencer suggested her first name being in tribute to mom that i realised sage morgan reid sounded perfect. for a while, we were going between sage emily morgan reid and emily sage morgan reid but we then tried sage morgan reid and we just had a lightbulb moment and it fit," cecelia smiled, it was as though she couldn't stop smiling these days since having sage

"next child if it's a girl, it'll definitely have to be named after emily so she can be godmother to two of your kids," hotch joked as cecelia giggled with a sly headnod

"yeah, i think spencer wouldn't be too disappointed with that idea. but, i think penelope will be godmother to the second kid but we'll figure that out once we decide when we want to have a second kid. i think right now we just want to soak up sage," cecelia smiled, her head tilted as hotch nodded his head

"fair response, cecelia, definitely let yourself soak up everything with sage and then if more kids are in your guys' future, it'll happen..." hotch trailed off when the elevator doors dinged and opened

out of the elevator came spencer and a very special, small, guest. like promised, spencer was able to discharge sage out of the hospital and bring her into the bau to visit her godmom, emily, goddad derek as well as properly meet the rest of the team.

whilst spencer and cecelia was introducing sage to the rest of their team, sage only let a few people besides her parents and godparents hold her. those people were hotch, david and jj. she was nearly there with penelope, luke and tara but the closest those three were able to get was a finger hold and kiss to the forehead. the rest of the time sage was being held lovingly by her mom or dad as she slept soundly as she was rocked back and forth whilst the rest of the team conversed.

like reflections of your mind, my love, my life, are the words i try to find, my love, my life. but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you.

present time | twenty twenty-two

walking into the catholic church with her little bundle of joy, her little sage, cecelia was happy. she was content and she was in peace. even though none of her family, including her parents, sage and riccardo, weren't so sure on the catholic baptism of their granddaughter it was still upsetting that they weren't there to witness it. because whilst they weren't really wanting it, like cecelia and spencer weren't, they wouldn't have disrespected the event because they knew that it was a compromise made by the parents and grandparents of baby sage that she would be baptised and if she got older and wanted to go further in the religion or not, she had that choice to. but, honestly, cecelia had truly made peace with that ages ago, way before the situation in the house had happened before they left. it was truthfully just a moment of vulnerability for the new mother and she had no other way of describing it other than her missing her parents, her mother especially.

in her flowing champagne-coloured wrap dress, cecelia held her daughter as baby sage's christening dress overwhelmed her because of how big it was. cecelia held her as she walked through the hall of the church and towards the priest, her husband spencer and baby sage's godparents, derek and emily.

cecelia smiled in a joy that could have only been described as overwhelming. she knew every single person in this church: first, her remaining family which were her brothers and sisters with their partners and children; the jareau/lamontagne family, will and jj and their beautiful boys; aaron hotchner and his beautiful boy; penelope who had come with derek; emily who had come with jj and will; david who had come with his partner and tara who had come with her family. and that was just the bau team, there was also other fbi agents from other units and their families that were invited. there was no use in introducing every single guest and their families and plus ones that sat in this church in quantico, virgina for sage morgan reid's christening. however, it just really reiterated to cecelia how loved this little one-year-old baby girl was to so many people that weren't her direct family.

cecelia basked in the flashing lights from the photographers but made sure to still shield baby sage's face just in case the lights from uncle will's camera still frightened her like they used to. especially when she'd watch dad take photos of mom and she'd get scared by all the noise and cameras. however, in a cheeky, sly move, the little one-year-old smacked her mom's hand away and seemed to stare right down the barrel of one particular photographer's camera from will's team. of course, this shocked both mom and dad but also made them snicker at the same time as cecelia then looked up and blood rushed to her ears in an instant.

cecelia couldn't help the blank, emotionless stare she shared towards the female photographer that baby sage had also seemed to be entranced by. it was just that...the young photographer looked scarily similar to her mother, sage perez. that was until the young girl had completely morphed into cecelia's mother and the young mother was glad she didn't completely drop baby sage herself.

it obviously scared the crap out of cecelia that she was the only one that was seeing her own mother in this female photographer but, she continued to zone out until a little side tap from her husband, spencer. it was only then that cecelia fazed out from the void she was in and noticed that the young female photographer no longer looked like her beloved mother and continued to photograph the christening. baby sage taking a liking to the girl.

"...hey, babe, what was that all about, you alright?" spencer later questioned in confusion as he held baby sage after they finished the walk back up to the church foyer now that the one year old had been christened

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe. just, that female photographer will hired, the one with brown hair looked scarily similar to mom, that's all...it seemed as though baby sage thought so too..." cecelia shook her head and rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was going insane as spencer smiled, gently kissing his wife's golden hair

"...i thought i was the only one who noticed that. she did look so much like your mom, i secretly hoped she'd do the dramatic movie reveal thingy, coming out with the dramatic news that she was your long-lost sixth sibling," spencer chuckled as cecelia cackled, her head shaking

"oh shut up, spence...she is not my long-lost sixth sibling, you goose. besides, the more i looked at her afterwards, i saw the differences that truly sold it to me that she wasn't anyone in the family that we should have been told about," cecelia giggled as she grabbed baby sage from him as spencer nodded his head

"okay, that's good to know darling, i'll be back in a moment, i promised mom i'd touch base with her after the christening, see you soon darling, i miss my two girls already!" spencer shouted after he had left his two girls with kisses to their heads as that allowed jj and will with their little boys to swoop in to have a conversation with the mother and newly christened daughter

"...hey, will and jayje! henry, michael! did you behave?" cecelia lit up in excitement, hugging all three of them as the little boys nodded their heads to their aunty cecelia

"both boys behaved exceptionally well, cece, they were both quiet the whole entire time. and, also, just a quick note, did you notice the female photographer right at the front that looked ridiculously like your mom?" jj whispered at the end, just in case she felt like she was insane as cecelia giggled and nodded her head

"good to hear both boys behaved and, yes, i did and so did baby sage. did you see the way she smacked my hand away when that lady's camera started flashing?" cecelia giggled as jj and will both nodded their heads

"it was absolutely bizarre, i thought i was going crazy when i turned around to see her even though i've known her for years, she's never looked like your mom until that moment," will spoke up this time as cecelia nodded her head in agreement

"i thought so too! i then had that weird moment where after looking at her for too long, she actually turned into mom which was even weirder. but, i then saw the things that was the reminder that she wasn't my mom," cecelia giggled as she bopped baby sage up on her hip higher since she started to slip

jj, will and their boys stayed to chat with cecelia and baby sage until dad had come back from his conversation with his family and happily picked up baby sage when she reached out for him. allowing cecelia to build up her arm strength again after feeling like they were going to fall off.

you are still my love and my life, yes i know i don't possess you. with all my heart, god bless you, you are still my love and my life

present time | twenty twenty-two

cecelia softly started to sing the song that was playing during the mamma mia: here we go again movie when she finally looked up from playing with baby sage and realised the song she had been singing the entire time...

...she had been singing along to my love, my life without even consciously realising it whilst the entire christening scene of sophie and sky's baby was going on during the duration of the song. and it reminded cecelia of baby sage's christening that had just happened the day before. it was sort of ironic because the scene that was playing in front of her was the exact same scene that played in cecelia's head when she saw that female photographer that looked ever so similar but yet still so different to her mother.

she then grabbed her phone and quickly put together a little instagram post dedicated to her little girl, her love and her life: sage morgan. 

liked by drsreid, penelopegarcia, jjareau,aaronhotchner, davidrossi and 110 others

ceceliaperezreid you're my one and only sage morgan 🤍

view all 110 comments

drsreid  my two beautiful girls 🤍

ceceliaperezreid drsreid my beautiful man 🤍

penelopegarcia  absolutely gorgeous 🤍

ceceliaperezreid penelopegarcia thank you pen🤍

jjareau pretty baby girl 🤍

ceceliaperezreid jjareau isn't she just jayje🤍

aaronhotchner sage is gorgeous, cece 🤍

ceceliaperezsreid aaronhotchner i mean, her parents are also gorgeous so it makes sense

davidrossi beautiful baby and baby mama 🤍

ceceliaperezreid davidrossi truth has been told 🤍

derekmorgan sage is beautiful, cecelia🤍

ceceliaperezreid derekmorgan thank you, derek! she is truly everything i could have dreamt of for our first baby 🤍

fin

this was so much fun to rewrite which i know i say all the time but i truly did. i love it when i can give myself a break from the constant angst that i put you all through! and yes, i know this was a bit wayward at some points but i still love it!

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

you said what, kid?🌶️

pairing : dr spencer reid x fem!reader , bau!fem reader x platonic bau

summary : "bite me" prompt. dr reid and his girlfriend agent anneliese oliviere are messing around when the rest of the team overhear their nsfw conversation

warnings : other than sexual references, not anything too bad

a/n : just thought this would be a funny, short spicy little thing that will help break up for every other depressing one-shot

a/n : also, minors (i'd say anyone under than 18 but if you're like 16 or 17, you can stay) do not interact if stuff like this make you uncomfy <3

they hadn't really meant to eavesdrop spencer and anneliese, truly they hadn't, but ever since the two agents had started dating it was as though any free moment away from the front line, they were inseperable. it was as though the rest of spencer and anneliese's bau team no longer existed to the two of them. it wasn't until they heard what came out of their youngest agent's mouth that truly had them eavesdropping the conversation.

no one had ever imagined anything sexual to fall out of the mouth of dr spencer reid but not because they were babying him like they used to, anneliese ripped certain team members a new one for that. but they just never thought that spencer would have the gall and confidence to utter anything less than professional terminology whilst in the office. spencer and anneliese, his girlfriend who was the actual youngest of the bau team, just smirked at their fellow agents and at one another as if what they just said was totally normal. and as though it was regular language and verbiage they use every single day.

finally, morgan stops choking on his own saliva and speaks up, "...i beg your finest pardon, kid?" he was beside himself that the kid he watched grow up who was once so clueless about language like this even knew this language

"i said bi..." spencer was interrupted by jj quite quickly

"...we don't need to hear it again, spence..." only for jj to be interruped by their unit chief aaron hotchner who had walked in on this entire situation

"...hear what again?" hotch speaks up, files in his hand as anneliese and spencer stifle their giggles whilst morgan and jj look horrified, as though they just heard their parents say the most diabological thing ever

"um...no...nothing sir..." jj more so than morgan was desperately trying to figure out what to say when anneliese shut everyone up, repeating exactly what spencer had jokingly told her to her boss

"...jj and morgan were rudely eavesdropping spence and i just joking around with one another. i made a rather crude nsfw joke and he responded back saying bite me, it's honestly not that bad hotch. jayje and chocolate thunder just need to either put their big kid pants on since worse jokes are exchanged or try their best to not eavesdrop other people conversations if that is what they find to be offensive!" anneliese nonchalantly responds to her unit chief's question as the older man laughs

in hearing their unit chief's laughter, confusing both jj and derek, spencer, anneliese, emily, david, penelope and alex happily watch on in glee at the whole situation in front of them. whilst everyone else held back their laughter, jj and derek were left dumbfounded at how much ridicule they were getting, not just from their fellow agents but from their unit chief. i mean, unbelievable right, is it now all of a sudden bully jj and derek day?

hotch spoke up again after covering up a laugh with a cough "i agree with oliviere and reid, if you two find that offensive, you should really recheck the things you're saying but you sould have also heard the ways haley and i spoke to each other when we'd spend hours in the elevator!" hearing those words from their unit chief grossed out everyone, not just jj and derek as they either fake gagged or did what anneliese did and called him out on it 

"hotch, whilst what spence and i said was sort of safe for work in moderation, is what you and haley did safe for work?" anneliese chuckled as everyone exploded in laughter, including the usually stoic and lately grieving unit chief who also hollered out a laugh

shaking his head, he responded, "that was the question haley always asked, is this safe for work aaron? and every single time, i'd tell her no but, that wasn't what stopped us. what ended up stopping us was gideon waiting for us outside of the elevator, waiting for us to walk into the bullpen of the unit, whilst we were in the middle of a burning hot makeout session. bite marks trailing down haley's neck because she sarcastically asked me the same question spencer asked anneliese..." hotch trailed off as the rest of his team were definitely grossed out about their boss' sex life

"...did we really need to be told the ins and outs of your sex life, sir?" anneliese was now truly disgusted as was spencer whilst it was jj and derek's turn to laugh

"well, you technically didn't stop me now, did you oliviere?" hotch fired back, throwing the files of paperwork to the desk as he walked back to his office with a chuckle

the biggest dorkiest smile on his face his team had seen since he told them about his and haley's divorce as anneliese nodded her head with a look of 'fair point' as spencer had a similar look. whilst they realy didn't need to be made aware of their boss' sex life, it did still make them smile knowing that they could get him to laugh and include him in the crude, nsfw jokes they'd have on the occasion that weren't led by derek and penelope. even if it meant that they would need to wash their brains out with soap and water via their ears after hearing about their boss and his wife did in fbi quantico elevator. and, with the files splattered across the desk given by hotch himself, the team knew that the rest of their work day would be paperwork. and this was due to the fact they hadn't had any new cases come through in three weeks. morgan however was still dumbfounded and stuck on the whole situation that just occurred.

so, he made sure people knew that "and hotch just thinks we can continue working the rest of the day as though he didn't just clue us in on his sex life and what him and his now ex-wife did in the elevator and that's totally normal?" everyone chuckled at the bamboozled morgan as spencer spoke up

"um yes, derek, sex is totally normal. you of all people should know that considering you and penelope's jokes are way worse than the ones you heard today, right?" spencer jokingly jabbed at his best friend who couldn't fight against that statement

so, the older agent surrended, his hands in the air, "touché, you got me there, pretty boy," derek chuckled softly as everyone went back to their paperwork as small bursts of giggles would erupt throughout the office the rest of the work day

fin

this was so much fun to rewrite! i do love the occasional sexual innuendo and nsfw joke. however, this is just about as good as it gets with me writing anything spicy/smutty so, i do apologise for that but do be aware that the angsty one-shots will be making a comback with the occasional fluff.

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

i'll always come back for you 💔🥹

pairing : dr spencer reid x emily prentiss (platonic)

summary : what should have happened after maeve died and how i wished we (the whole cm fandom) saw emily prentiss drop everything and fly back to be there for spencer after maeve's death. set after "zugswang" but just before "magnum opus"

warnings :  sad, angst, death of maeve, words of love and endearment, returning back to work

a/n : rewriting this for spencer because i still believe it was canon that emily dropped everything in the uk to come back to usa to be there for spencer because i like to think that she was the only person he felt safe enough to ring up and ask for help from.

he was heartbroken. 

he felt like his heart had been stepped on repeatedly. 

growing up, he thought he'd never fall in love. 

and then as he got older and finally did fall in love, it was taken away from him. 

all because of a selfish woman who couldn't handle the fact that her theory for her PhD was biased and didn't have the right evidence to be considered 

and that bitch cost spencer the life of the woman of his dreams. 

the life of the woman he planned to potentially marry and create a family with outside of his work family with the federal bureau of investigation's behavioural analysis unit. 

he wept on the floor of where his lover was shot dead in a murder-suicide all because of thomas merton and because he didn't try hard enough to convince diane to take him for her. 

- - - 

it had been days since maeve donovan's death. which meant it had been days since spencer had slept, ate, kept a clean apartment and done anything other than cry and wallow in his overwhelming grief. 

a grief that was unlike any other he'd felt before. this grief wasn't the same grief he had when he spent ten weeks at jj's crying over what he thought was emily's death...emily. 

it had been at least a couple of months since emily had gone back to london to work for interpol. spencer missed emily. missed her more than he thought he could miss anyone...he needed to see someone, anyone. and whilst he appreciated, loved and lived for his bau family, for jj, for penelope, for david, for derek, for aaron, for alex, he needed someone that wasn't there when maeve died. and, the only person he could think of with his head in this tailspin of grief was emily. 

he needed emily. and it seemed as though emily sensed it. 

because, before spencer could even tap on her contact information, emily rang him first. 

"...hey spence, i heard what happened, are you okay?" emily whispers over the phone, knowing that spencer wouldn't be able to fathom talking any louder than a whisper 

"...no...i...i...i'm in pain, em...everything hurts" spencer whimpered as he felt like his body was on fire 

"i am so sorry honey. what do you need?" emily says softly. her own heart breaking for the kid who she called her own little brother 

"you..." he was worried emily couldn't hear him but she did 

"...of course. leave the door unlocked for me spence. i'll message you when i've arrived back in the states. i know you've been refusing the help of the rest of the team. promise me you won't shut me out." whilst it may sound like she was demanding, her voice was soft and anything but demanding 

"i promise...just, please em...i...i need you..." spencer sniffled as his heart continued to spread pain throughout his body that emily sensed 

"...i'm on my way honey. please don't do anything stupid before i get to you. i don't want to see you covered in your own blood or anything, please..." emily hated seeing those she loved in pain but none more so than spencer 

"...thank you. and i promise, i won't do anything stupid. i...i love you, emily..." spencer sniffled, disregarding his tears as he curled into himself on his couch 

"...good...and i love you too, spence. i'll be with you before you know it..." emily said before spencer murmured a small "...i know" before they parted ways so emily could book the first flight back out to the states 

and, blessed be to god, the first flight back to the states was midnight that very same day. and due to the timezone difference, it didn't even feel like a day had gone by before emily had arrived in the states. whilst spencer was nowhere near smiling or thinking of it, waking up from his sleepless sleep to see a text from emily that she was in the states and was on her way to him gave him the feeling of smiling, joy and hope. 

--- 

but, before emily even arrived back in the states, she had to let her unit chief at interpol know why she was all of a sudden flying back to the states. and flying back so quickly without much notice and on a midnight redeye. and, her reasoning? a family emergency. because, this was a family emergency to emily. anything that involved spencer, penelope...heck, anyone in the bau back in the states were her family. and if she could drop everything she was doing for all of her former bau babies, she absolutely ten thousand per cent would.

but, because it was spencer of all people, she knew it wasn't time for her to make this a catch-up with the rest of her former team members. so she didn't. she told no-one from the rest of the team that she was coming back to the states. because she knew and it was clear that if spencer was ignoring their gift baskets and them stopping by his apartment door, that it wasn't them he wanted to help him grieve. there was a reason, a specific reason he wanted emily and she wasn't going to betray that by using that to have the rest of the team join her. so, whilst she was in the states, she wasn't going to be talking or messaging anyone else in the states. she was just going to be there for spencer and be there for him for as long as he needed her to be there for. and she didn't care if he needed her to be there forever, she would be there for him and she'd never leave him.

which is what brings us to present day. emily stood in front of spencer's apartment door with all of the gift baskets of penelope and the rest of the bau team at her feet. 

she's just about to announce herself when she swears she hears a small voice come from inside the apartment, "...the door's open..." and it was a small voice, it was spencer's 

"...do you want me to bring in the gift baskets? i don't want your neighbours to steal them..." emily's voice was also soft as spencer managed a scoff in his grief-ridden stupor 

"...yeah, that's probably a good idea...thanks em..." spencer mumbled as emily smiled

her suitcase small enough that she could grab it as well as the three or four gift baskets that were filled to the brim with food and other things that were sure to (at some stage) bring a smile to spencer's face. and just like spencer promised over the phone just a day ago, although it felt like the phone call was years ago, he left his door unlocked for emily. smiling, she let herself in skillfully, even with everything in her hands. placing everything on the floor or on a table nearby, she released the kinks in her body and straight away brought spencer in for a hug. it didn't take a genius to figure out that spencer was grieving and was stuck in that cycle. 

he was wearing his pyjamas with a gown draped over his skinny body that seemed even skinnier and it broke emily's heart. it was clear from just a look up and down of his body that he hadn't eaten since that day. emily worried he was dehydrated but, she breathed somewhat a sigh of relief to see many cups and mugs laying around his apartment. signifying that whilst he hadn't been eating, it was clear he was living off of water and coffee. which, whilst not terrible per say was still bad because he still needed to eat. his apartment was a mess. books had been sent flying from it's shelves in the bookcases to the floor, blankets were spread out messily on the couch which is where it looked as though to emily is where spencer had been sleeping. everything just looked like the person living in this apartment was grieving and, it was true. because spencer was grieving. he was grieving the girl of his dreams of whom he had only been in contact with for 100.5 days yet, he had fallen in love with her over the course of those 100.5 days but he never got to tell her that. 

in fact, he remembers his last words to her. of course he did. the bloody eidetic memory. he couldn't ever forget. even the things he wanted to forget, he couldn't. 

in maeve's last moments, spencer remembered telling her that "i don't love you, i'm sorry" before spencer was too late and couldn't save her. 

whilst emily looked around spencer's beautiful apartment excluding the grief mess, she loved it. it was the apartment that emily always pictured seeing spencer live in. it had gorgeous green walls, lovely bookshelves, and even some stained glass windows. absolutely what she imagined for her best friend, spencer reid.

except, right now, what she saw in front of her, the strewn blankets on the couch, the strewn books over the floor, the little to no food she noticed that wasn't in his pantry or fridge. seeing all of it broke her heart. she knew from prior experience when she was in the bau that spencer didn't take things like death and change in what others would consider to be the "normal" way of reacting to it. so, she knew on the flight back home to the states that seeing spencer, his apartment wouldn't be clean, it wouldn't be filled to the brim with food and all that there would be in the apartment was darkness, sadness and a grieving spencer as he grieved in his own spencer way that spencer grieved. 

but, it was obvious that just having to share the space with someone else, someone who didn't bare witness to watching the love of his life be murdered in front of him, was already filling his heart with hope. hope of that maybe some day, not today or tomorrow or the next day but, some day, he wouldn't be this sad and it wouldn't feel like it is such a struggle to breathe everyday. and he liked that feeling. he liked knowing that with emily here with him, the same emily that left the bau for interpol and didn't witness maeve's uncalled for murder, dropped everything and made herself available for spencer when he needed pleaded for her to be with him. 

during this time, emily had been putting away the foods that had been in the baskets from penelope and the team into the pantry and fridge. making a mental list to remind her that at some stage during her stay with spencer to go grocery shopping since whilst this food could sustain the both of them, it wouldn't sustain them for very long. walking back into the lounge room, spencer's curled up on the couch underneath the blankets, his eyes closed and a book clutched to his chest. 

"...you asleep or awake?" emily asks softly 

without opening his eyes or speaking, he signs "awake" and emily nods her head 

"do you want me to stay with you and do you want to talk? or do you want to be left alone and i get the spare room ready whilst you sleep?" emily asks softly again 

but before she could even finish the whole sentence, spencer signed "stay, please" and emily obliged, moving to the couch, emily snuggled up to spencer who straight away latched himself onto her 

"ok, i'll stay spence. but, if you do get tired, please do sleep, okay?" emily said, her fingers immediately brushing through spencer's matted curls 

"as much as i'd love to go back to sleep, i haven't really been sleeping. it's just been broken up intervals of r.e.m sleep before i wake up again..." spencer sighed, before speaking up again 

"...besides, you flew over 1,000 miles to be here with me. it'll be rude if i just slept the whole time, don't you think?" he mumbled, looking at emily for the first time since she's arrived 

"no. i don't think it'd be rude if you slept the whole time, spence. when we...when humans lose other humans that we loved, it completely changes us. it sends us into a tailspin of 180 degrees..." emily trails off before continuing as spencer listens intently 

"...some people continue on with their life straight away as if nothing happens, before, eventually, it all comes crashing back on top of them. whereas others don't continue on with their life straight away. for those people, their world is on stop or pause and they struggle to continue living their life the way they lived it before tradegy struck. and, for you, spence, since...unfortunately, this isn't the first time you've been struck with such tradegy, your body and self knows you should be continuing with life and you normally do. but, because this is the first time it's been someone who you loved and loved with your whole heart, it's forced you to a striking halt that's completely wiped you out..." emily's voice was soft and full of emotions as her free hand that wasn't playing with spencer's hair found his hand and grabbed it 

"...like hotch when he...when he lost haley to foyet..." spencer whispered as emily nodded her head, it was exactly like when hotch lost haley 

"...exactly spence. it's exactly the same. for a while, we all saw, it was like hotch's professional world was on stop for a period of time because he had to take care of his family, take care of little jack. and then, when he felt like he had healed enough, he returned back to work and his professional world was taken off stop. and, i'll have to admit, i felt like in my own personal opinion, that he came back way too early, earlier than he was ready to return. but, in saying that, it doesn't matter what i think, or what the rest of your team thinks. whenever you feel like you are ready to return to work spence, you come back okay? and if they ask you if you are really ready, don't doubt yourself because you came back for a reason." emily stopped as spencer listened intently and nodded his head 

"but...what if i'll never be ready to press play again?" spencer whimpered as his bottom lip quivered as emily gave a look of sadness 

"why do you say that, spence?" emily questioned, hugging spencer tighter as spencer suddenly appreciated the sudden pressure he had been missing 

"i'm just scared i'll never recover..." he trailed off as emily nodded her head, understanding perfectly 

"...you're scared you'll feel like this for the rest of your life?" emily questioned as spencer nodded his head, a sob leaving his throat 

"yes and i don't want to, em..." spencer sobbed as emily's tight hug didn't fall away 

"...oh spence, you won't feel like this for the rest of your life. i promise, you'll get better. whilst you'll always miss her, it won't stay hurting like it hurts right now. it just takes time but you will heal," emily sighed as she hugged spencer tightly 

"how much time, em?" spencer sniffled as his eyes started to droop from exhaustion as emily shook her head 

"i don't know, spence. i'm sorry that i don't know. i know you want answers but i can't give you all of them," emily whispered as she moved to let spencer lay on her as she cradled him 

"s'fine, em. i'm sorry that i'm like this. i shouldn't be so upset over this..." spencer mumbled as emily shook her head

"...hey, don't do that, spence. you have every right to be grieving over her. you loved her in a way that you'd never experienced before and then she was taken away from you. in a most unfair way as well. because you had to watch it happen and that's not fair, spence!" emily felt tears well in her eyes as she said that as spencer nodded his head 

"i tried to save her but i...i couldn't save her. no matter what i tried to do, it just didn't work, em. i tried so hard to save her but it still wasn't enough-" 

"-i know spence, i know," emily whispered tearfully as she held him tighter as he let out a low whine 

"you tried so hard and it's not fair, spence. and i am so sorry that you couldn't do more for her!" emily whispered as spencer let out another low whimper 

"and i know that your last words to her weren't what you would have wanted to say--" just before spencer could interrupt and tell her, emily continued 

"--she still knew just how much you loved her, spence. that's why she mentioned thomas merton because she knew just how much you loved her and how much she was loved by you. she knew you had to say those last words to her if it meant it could have potentially saved her life. and i'm unexplainably sorry that it didn't save her life..." emily trailed off, purposefully skirting around saying her name as spencer sniffled 

"...maeve was gorgeous em...it was crazy at just how someone like her could be so gorgeous yet so nice and innocent at the same time..." it shocked emily that spencer could even say her name, granted he whispered it 

"...i know, spence. i had the privilege of being shown photos of her from penelope. maeve really was the prettiest girl. and i know she would have adored you spence, had she made it out alive that day..." emily worried she said something wrong until spencer nodded his head and smiled what looked like the smallest smile ever 

"...i know, em. and that's what i'm trying my hardest to focus on. but then that's when it starts to spiral because i start to think of all the what if's. like, what if i wasn't slow or what if i reacted just that little bit quicker or what if i got to tell her that i loved her..." spencer trailed off as emily nodded her head in understanding 

"...what if i got to live the rest of my life with her?" emily added in a whisper as spencer nodded his head as a singular tear streamed down his cheek 

"mhm..." spencer mumbled with a sniffle as emily resting her chin on spencer's head 

spencer was laying on the couch with his head resting in emily's lap which meant that emily had to very painfully and awkwardly, fold over herself so she could rest her chin on spencer's head. but, finally, managed to find a comfortable way to do it by sort of resting her upper body on the arm of the couch and then push her chin forward and down to rest on spencer's head. with her legs reclined to the side of spencer's. 

---

a few days after emily arrived to help spencer, it felt like he was starting to get better. he slowly started to go back to his room to sleep rather then the couch but in the mornings, would always wake up curled up next to emily in the spare room. emily didn't hate it nor did she stop spencer from joining her in the mornings. it was clear it was helping him sleep in his room in the night so, she didn't say a thing. the food sitauation was solved the next day because emily remembered her mental note of needing to go grocery shopping. after telling her what he needed, emily left and returned with four bags filled to the brim of food that would sustain not just him but her as well for however many days she would stay for. 

whilst spencer was improving, he still had blankets everywhere, he still had books spread out everywhere because he wasn't ready to take care of that part of his grief just yet. and, emily understood and she didn't try to change it or force him to clean it. 

however, that changed when the bau went on a case to san francisco. it was a tough and weird case that involved blood being exsanguinated. which was then used as the medium that the unsub was using to paint his canvases on. at first, the team thought the unsub was drinking the blood but, after help from spencer, it was discovered that it was used for a whole other reason. 

that was when emily and even spencer, came to the realisation that it was time for spencer to return back to work and time for emily to go back to london. so, that's what they did. spencer changed out of his pyjamas and into acceptible enough work clothes but still with the hint that he was grieving and with emily, sent her off back to london. and then, spencer took the next commerical flight to san francisco to help the bau solve the case.

fin

this was sad and i should really be arrested for always writing sad one-shots about spencer. 

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

"we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and I just don't--"💔

pairing : dr spencer reid x married reid!fem reader & bau team x platonic married reid!fem reader

summary : dr spencer reid's wife, an agent with the violent crimes unit, specifically it's violent crimes against children sub unit gets murdered in cold blood.

warnings : depressing, grief, grieving husband, widower, character death, hysterical crying

a/n : i can't keep the fluff and joy up for too long now can i?

her entire body was slowing down and shutting off as were all of her vital organs that were usually so well at keeping her alive during moments of immense panic. she was trying so hard to breathe in and out but, she couldn't. laying on the floor, in the muddy grass field, she couldn't help but pray and hope that help was on its way if help had even been called since she was no longer with her violent crimes against children partner. every time she tried to breathe in, she'd start choking and gurgling on the blood that was rising up in her throat from the gunshot wound to her stomach due to the fact that she was laying down on the floor as if she was paralyzed. 

trying to keep her eyes open, she tried so hard to stay alive even though she knew that in a matter of minutes, maybe seconds, she would be dead because every piece of FBI training she went through would never really prepare her for a moment like this. this was when lennon reid's phone started to ring again after she had rung her husband before hanging up mid-gunshot. as she moaned in pain at her incoming death, she just as about looked at her phone one last time as she saw the contact photo of her husband, spencer reid flash up on her iphone.

the photo was of the two of them laughing as spencer tried to go in for a kiss on lennon's lips but missed it entirely whilst their twins, a boy and girl, who were only a few months old, atlas and sage were seen in the background, also pictured laughing with their baby teeth at their parents. as tears, blood, sweat and other bodily fluids bubbled in lennon's throat and down her face, she came to the fate that she was going to die, that no one was going to find her and was for some reason at peace with it even though she and spencer had just become new parents to their aforementioned few months old twin babies atlas and sage and never ever thought that during her time as a FBI agent with the violent crimes against children unit that she'd die like this; similar to an episode of any crime show where things like this always happened.

she had no clue that she was right in the middle of a gunfight from a gang takedown gone wrong. she was never told that in the briefing of her and her partners case, all they were told was that they were supposedly giving clean and bottled water to a different group of underccover agents who were finishing up a more serious case. as her breathing started slowing down, so did her panicking and worry of dying.

her entire life from a little kid to the first time she met her husband to when she watched her get married, to when she and spencer found out they were pregnant with their twins and all of the happy moments she spent with the rest of her and spencer's fellow agents and their partners were now playing through her mind like a little highlight reel. putting her at ease, she found herself taking her last breath with a smile on her face as her eyes fluttered shut as if she was just falling asleep and wasn't bleeding out and covered in sweat, tears and various other bodily fluids. she was calm and at rest even though the way to was anything but calming and restful. 

back at the BAU in quantico, spencer couldn't contain his worry. thankful for the fact that the BAU were only doing paperwork, meaning he was closer to home than interstate. this then inadvertently meant that the least of his worries was having to get on a plane to rush to his wife. however, it still worried him that his wife didn't pick up the phone call after she had mysteriously called him originally, making him think that she was in trouble. the feeling this entire situation gave spencer was a feeling he didn't want to trust or worry about but, he knew that because of their jobs as FBI agents, he always had to worry about every phone call he could receive from his wife or her boss or her work partner.

this phone call and then missed phone call gave spencer the heebie-jeebies but because he was at his his desk filling in paperwork like the rest of his coworkers were, he desperately tried to forget about it. it gave him the shivers to think about the possibility of something bad happening to his wife whilst she was at work. especially when all of her cases lately had been rather tame and nothing too scary. which then sent another shiver down spencer's spine and gave him the thought that why would his wife call him while she was on shift if nothing was wrong? 

it was then that spencer was given a call from the virginia city coroner's court in regards to a body that needed identifying however, spencer didn't know that immediately. it was an unknown number that had rung him but he assumed that it was a law enforcement/government official number since he did recognise it so, it gave him all the wrong feelings that it was the coroner's office.

why would they need spencer though, if him and his wife were FBI agents? so why would he specifically need to identify someone? his blood then grew cold as his eyes began to water and he started to feel sick in the pit of his stomach. what if that gut feeling was because of that mysterious phone call he received from lennon and that something had indeed happened to his wife? 

"hello, am i speaking to a dr spencer reid?" the random man on the other side of the phoneline asks, making spencer's anxiety anything but better about where his wife was 

"umm, yes...yes, this is he. who...who am i speaking with, sorry?" spencer stammered out in confusion and worry, his heart beating out of his chest, just hoping it wasn't his wife's unit chief or--

"--this is the virginia city coroner's court, sir. a lady in her early to late 20s has just been brought in to us and we're still unsure as to her cause of death but with the information we received, we found out that you were an emergency contact. we're just asking for you to come over so you can identify this lady because as of right now, you sir, are our only lead as to who this lady is," the man spoke softly and with empathy, as spencer felt as if he had been kicked to the stomach, his breath was lost in a second as he then realised, the lady from what he had been told wasn't part of his wife's unit in the FBI - maybe he wouldn't be identifying his wife 

"oh..oh...umm, yeah of...of course! i...i'll be on my way soon--" 

"--also, before i forget, was the lady that was brought into the coroner's office apart of the FBI's violent crimes against children unit?" spencer felt like his entire body was shutting down as he rushed out of the office, showing the now shown coroner's phone number to his unit chief, aaron hotchner who immediately let spence grab his stuff and go

hotch then gesturing over to emily prentiss and derek morgan to go with him, as well as offering to go with them as well so he wasn't going alone. the man on the other end responding back with a soft gasp of memory.

"ah, that was what i had seemingly forgotten. sadly, the woman that has been brought into the examiner's office was mentioned to be an FBI agent with the violent crimes against children and we sadly have a firm belief as to who it is. hence why you've been our first point of call, so please be wary dr reid when you do arrive. see you soon, thank you for your time," the man spoke as he then hung up so he could then ring up the three other people that were emergency contacts of lennon reid

the second the phone line went dead, it seemed as if spencer was now on autopilot. rushing to his car, aaron, derek and emily in a car right behind him as they sped down to the coroner's office, all of them most likely breaking a ton of road rules. just hoping that the person he was going to be attempting to identify wasn't someone he was related to, let alone his own FBI agent wife. and even then, he'd still be confused and equally as heartbroken as to who this person would be and why he'd be an unknown FBI agent's emergency contact. 

as spencer arrived at the virginia city coroner's court, aaron, derek and emily weren't too far behind as they all stepped out of their cars. spencer was now feeling dizzy and stressed out as he didn't wish this to happen to anyone. 

"spence, what's going on? do you know?" emily approaches the nervus boy genius as she sees him shake his head no

panic starting to seep through spencer's eyes as emily tightens her jaw, already figuring it out, spencer, aaron and derek not too far either.

as the four agents and best friends leaned against the huge FBI-issued SUV that spencer had driven in, his mind just started to wander as he thought up of all the people who he knew in his family and friend group that had him as their emergency contact.

as he wracked his brain further, by the time he could remember that his own wife had him put down as an emergency contact, because of her job with the violent crimes unit, a voice coming from the door of the building had caught their friends' attention. 

"dr reid and fellow agents, morgan, prentiss and hotchner. they're ready for you," a virginia city medical examiner opened the door, giving spencer and his fellow agents the shivers as he thought back to that strange phone call from his wife, it just gave him the creeps and rightfully so 

"we love you, buddy, it's gonna be okay!" derek spoke softly as he placed his hand on his younger best friend's shoulder as he turned around, nodding his head before turning back to the examiner and into the coroner's office 

only aaron had followed the examiner and spencer into the office, derek and emily waiting outside since they didn't want to crowd the office and besides, aaron had offered since he was spencer and lennon's second point of contact after each other. aaron was a second dad to lennon, spencer's wife, so to even think that they were possibly having to identify lennon's dead body haunted him and they hadn't even been shown the body yet.

aaron had been in the room originally when the first mysterious phone call from lennon was given to spencer and spencer was probably feeling that weird feeling again when it hit aaron. i mean, why else would they be called to the coroner's office rather than a hospital if lennon died in a more natural, explainable way like a car collision or stroke? 

now aaron, just like his fellow agent, was also feeling nervous and sick to the stomach as they were then brought into the room where they were about to identify the body. the medical examiner, and another violent crimes against children agent which spencer had recognised as his wife's partner, were at the head of the body. all the examiner needed was a head nod from either aaron or spencder but, it was spencer's confirming head nod that the examiner knew for sure that it was time for the two agents to identify the body of the FBI agent that had been found. spencer's body then locked, his knees locked as he fell forward against the metal slab that the dead unknown FBI agent was laying on when he came to realise who it was he needed to identify as dead. 

tears immediately filled his eyes as he took in everything on the girl's body. on his girl's body. it was his wife that was needing identification for the coroners. it didn't take aaron a second longer to realise, like his agent, who it was they needed to identify and instantly, he subconsciously moved his body to the far wall as he watched his best mate who had now become a widower and single father, lose all of his composure. 

straight away, loud sobs and whimpers like never heard before from spencer echoed across the office and from outside where derek and emily could hear them from as spencer started to lean against the cold metal slab to keep himself steady so he wouldn't collapse on his knees. he couldn't seem to fathom in his head who would do something like this to his wife, the woman who had just given birth a couple of months ago to their fraternal twins, even then, what did they do to his wife? the examiner didn't even mention it as they decided that it would be more efficient to have them identify if it really was lennon reid and, it was before revealing her cause of death. 

"oh...oh my go...gosh!" spencer sobbed out as he panicked, what had even happened to his wife? what was she even doing? why didn't she ring him back?

he had so many questions going through his mind right now that he couldn't focus on anything apart from the fact that he wasn't going to allow himself to collapse to the ground 

"i...i got-gotta call my-my mom! got to call...oh, atlas and sage...our babies," spencer whimpered and sniffled as he found himself falling into hysteria at the fact that he was now all on his own, he had lost the love of his life and his twins had lost their mother 

it broke aaron's heart to hear this and almost made him fall to his own knees as he fought hard to keep his own grief and tears at bay. knowing exactly what this feeling felt like, having also lost his wife due to this same job. lennon had just given birth to the twins, atlas and sage and had only just returned back to work with the violent crimes against children unit after maternal leave. 

"we got to get her out of here, okay?" spencer panicked, not willing to accept the fact that lennon was now dead

aaron hotchner just watched on. tears welling in his eyes but didn't fall. only knowing the pain the job brings someone, especially when it takes away the only person you have ever loved the most in your life. spencer's wails the only thing heard in the office.

"it's really cold in here for her and i just don't--" 

"--doctor, umm, how-how did agent reid die? what...what happened?" immediately, to calm down his agent, aaron walked over and asked the examiner how lennon died so he could then take spencer, who was absolutely shattered by his grief, back outside of the office to have derek and emily help him calm spencer down 

"now that it has been identified from you two that this is agent lennon reid, we are now able to inform you that it was a gunshot wound to her abdominal-stomach area in the midsection that was her ultimate cause of death. the violent crimes against children unit are now forming an investigation as to who lennon's killer was and whether or not there was an ulterior motive. or if, as we suspected, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and didn't realise until it was too late," the examiner spoke softly but professionally as aaron nodded his head

the only other noise now heard was his agent's gutwrenching sobs. as spencer's legs slowly started to give way, he started to heavily rely on applying pressure to the metal slab to keep himself upright 

it devastated aaron, derek and emily as much as it devastated spencer that it was lennon's dead body that they just identified. it filled all four of them up with so many questions as to what lennon was even doing that caused her to die of a gunshot wound but so far away from her partner who was completely free from harm. how in god's grace did she get shot?

was she doing something suspicious or that even seemed suspicious to the person or people that shot her? was she aware that she was possibly walking through unsafe and protected territory? was she, like the examiner mentioned, just in the wrong place at the wrong time? was this situation exactly like a crime tv show situation?

were the people who shot lennon worried that because she was an FBI agent with her bulletproof vest on and had her personal phone in her hand that she was going to rat them out to her fellow on-shift agents? so many questions but, it seemed as if there were no possible answers to fill the void that spencer no longer had his wife by his side anymore. his two twins, atlas and sage no longer had their mommy there to watch them grow up or be there for them if they needed help with anything and everything. 

spencer was still weeping and it was still loud. it seemed as if despite the number of tears he was producing and the sobbing noise, he wasn't ever going to run out. it shocked aaron, derek and emily a little bit that he was still standing, emily and derek, now in the office. albeit with the help of the cold, metal, dried-up-bloody slab, because they all would have thought that immediately, spencer would have collapsed to the floor. however, they realised quickly that spencer still wanted to have some control over himself and his body if he couldn't control the tears that racked his entire body. 

present time 

four months later and the reid family and extended were having the righteous funeral for supervisory special agent lennon reid. they had waited four months so they could find out who had done it, what their motive was and place them in jail which included the very long and very tiring court process which thankfully went in favour of spencer and lennon, his wife's murderer jailed for life.

once all the court dates were done and that stress was over, that was when the FBI, both BAU and VCACU organized the funeral of lennon. a woman who was more than just an exceptionally talented FBI agent but also a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. despite the agony, grief and loss of control lennon's death brought to spencer and the family, it also gave them all a new sense of strength. 

it was this experience that made spencer realise there was so much more to life than just his job with the FBI. he knew he couldn't wallow in his grief the rest of his life. since coming back from his wrongful prison sentence, he's become more comfortable with meeting new people. meaning, he's now started to talk to someone. someone who was actually great friends with both himself and lennon growing up.

the twins had already met this girl and they absolutely adored her. even though they were still just little babies, they still understood that this wasn't mommy but was still someone safe and someone who would take care of them the same. at the funeral, spencer was a lot more composed than he expected he would be. surprising himself, he couldn't cry anymore and not because he was too numb to cry like he used to be. but because he was hopeful that he'd be happy again.

sitting in silence, the immediate reid, saint and extended FBI families just played with their fingers and thumbs or tried to distract themselves. in ways that wasn't as obvious as twiddling with fingers and thumbs. that was until alejandra, lennon's sister spoke up, breaking the silence of the room. 

"...lennon would totally be saying a joke right now," she spoke bluntly but tried to keep her voice airy at the same time, her brother-in-law, dad, and fellow family all looking at the girl to continue 

"what did the ghost say to the bee?" she almost smirked and she hadn't even said the punchline to the joke, even though it would be classified as a dad joke as it seemed as if all the adults knew where the joke was headed 

"boo bee," she struggled to keep her small giggles in which made her brother-in-law giggle 

"what...what's brown and sticky?" francesca, another one of lennon's sisters spoke up with a small giggle as immediately, alejandra rolled her eyes at her sister's dad joke 

"a stick," the sisters said at the same exact time, francesca giggling softly and alejandra monotone with a joking roll of her eyes, a sad but small smile playing on her lips 

"what do lawyers wear to court? lawsuits." spencer spoke up with a laugh as the room filled with giggles, whether they were tearful, wholehearted, nervous laughter or what, the room was still filling up with laughter which was a good step in the grieving process 

"that was absolutely awful, spence. lennon would've for sure slapped the back of your head for that one, even though atlas and sage wouldn't have seen it," alejandra whispered, glad that her brother-in-law was with his babies again (lennon's family, the saint's, had been taking care of the twins during the whole four months before the funeral)

the young adult then leaned against the black couch as she spread out her black silk skirt and fixed up her black and white polka-dotted crop top as she then started to become a little overwhelmed with all the black and darkness that she and her brother-in-law was surrounded by. 

it felt like the poor girl was having an anxiety or panic attack. it felt like her throat was closing up and like she was getting fidgety and reckless. thankfully, it seemed as if no one noticed that alejandra was freaking out as she seemingly slid her twin nephews over to their aunty francesca so, she decided to take her chance and she booked it out of the lounge room. rushing outside, it was like she could finally let herself explode into the wooded forest that surrounded the funeral home. her cries were almost as loud and gutwrenching as her brother-in-law's when he had to identify lennon's body at the medical examiner's office with hotch, morgan and prentiss. wrapping her arms around herself as a form of self-protection, it seemed as if she hadn't noticed the fast pace sounds of the crunching leaves behind her and the heavy breathing. which sounded like someone was running to find alejandra. yet, due to the amount of panic and distress that she was experiencing, she hadn't realised that someone had gone out to look for her. especially considering it looked as if beforehand that no one was paying attention to her, she thought she would have gotten away with it easily. however, apparently, alejandra cannot be secretive and slick around her brother-in-law as much as she thinks she is. 

alejandra was about to turn around after her panic attack to go back to the lounge room to join the family again, only to look up and be matched with her brother-in-law, spencer's tearful eyes. 

no words were even needed to tell spencer that his sister-in-law really wasn't as okay as she had made everyone believe she was. everything felt as if it was falling on top of her all at once and, it was now her breaking point. she couldn't hold on any longer but she didn't want to be in the presence of her family, most especially her brother-in-law because of how painful it would have been for him and everyone else so, she thought the only smart option was to do it alone where no one else could hear or see her. 

"alejandra?" spencer only whispered before alejandra broke again, falling into her brother-in-law's embrace as he immediately pulled his sister-in-law into his arms 

"i...i can't...it-it hurts so much spence...why did she die?" alejandra panicked, the same way that spencer himself panicked that day four months ago at the examiner's office 

"i know it hurts ale. it hurts like hell and it'll feel like that for a while, that was your older sister, i'm never gonna lie to you. and, she...she died because she was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time, she had veered away from her work partner and she was caught in the crossfire of a gang takedown gone horribly wrong. the drug dealers at the field where her fellow partner had found your sister had noticed that she was walking towards them, lennon, was obviously oblivious to what was going on in front of her because she thought she'd be meeting up with a group of stranded agents, when they saw her uniform and the phone in her hand, thinking she was going to rat them out to her fellow officers and possibly me. they thought the best way to stop that possible scenario from happening was to eliminate her so, that...that's what they did," spencer gasped out towards the end, that had been the first time in months that he had explained to his sister-in-law how lennon had died 

"why are we so unlucky?" alejandra whimpered as she hugged her brother-in-law tight and he scoffed, sniffling as a tear of his hit alejandra's cheek 

"i'm not sure love but, i think this is where our luck gets better," spencer muttered, only hoping that he wasn't lying to himself or to his sister-in-law 

"how are you so sure?" alejandra whimpered out again as she took a deep breath in, spencer also took in a big deep breath to control his own breathing as well 

"because darling, the shooter, whilst showing utter remorse and guilt for the murder, is in jail for as long as he shall live. even though we did forgive him, he still took away the life of an innocent fbi officer who was just doing what she was simply told to do. just know that i'm not going anywhere and i'm always going to protect you and your sister, alejandra. even if i end up falling in love with someone else, you and your family will always be an important piece of me and a group of people i'll always love and call my family, you understand alejandra?" spencer was strict with his sister-in-law in knowing that even though he may fall in love with another girl after the loss of his first wife, that his first wife's family would never be forgotten as his first and that was something that alejandra, francesca and the rest of the laurent family appreciated from their brother and son in law because they needed it right now during this time of grieving more than ever 

"i get it completely, spence and the family really do appreciate it. it gives us back some normalcy even though it'll be normal again now that lennon's no longer around," alejandra whispered as spencer clenched his jaw, his chin and lip quivering as he held his sister-in-law tightly 

then they both broke down into sobs as they stood in the wooded area for what was almost an hour before francesca with spencer's twins, atlas and sage, had come out to look for their sister, brother-in-law and dad. only to find them still crying their eyes out as the five of them embraced, spencer holding one twin and francesca holding onto the other one. which suddenly brought in francesca's emotions which then, in turn, got them into a hug as they all cried together, spencer holding his twins tight. 

the three remaining reid's cried over their mom and wife, the sisters crying over their sister and over the fact that they'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, hear her sing in the kitchen, play with their dog pascal. they cried over the fact that dad was a lot more vulnerable without mom than when she was alive. and they cried over the fact that atlas and sage would have to grow up without their mom and have little to no memories of her and only very few photos of the four of them as a family. which meant that when spencer cries over lennon, his twins, atlas and sage won't understand why since they're still babies and won't really be able to comfort their dad or understand why they are. they also cried over the fact that the only things they have left of their mom, wife and sister are the videos and photos of memories that were gonna spare a lifetime but were still not enough in the means of never getting new videos and photos of her with her children and husband. 

"spence?" alejandra speaks up, her voice raw and scratchy from her sobbing 

"yeah, ale?" spencer speaks up as well, his voice also hoarse from the tears, his arms tight around his little boy atlas 

"are you okay to go back to work, to the bau?" alejandra's soft words brought comfort to spencer that had never happened before as he found himself slightly smiling at his sister-in-law's question 

"yeah, i am darling. it's been four months, they need me back. if you wish and want to, i'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if i could bring atlas and sage with me if that's what worries you," spencer smiled softly as both laurent sisters, alejandra and francesca's eyes lit up as if all their previous grief went away as sage was then handed over to spencer so he could cuddle both of his twins at the same time 

"that sounds perfect, spence. you were already an amazing father to atlas and sage but you'll be an even better father to them with the assistance of the rest of the bau," alejandra and francesca smiled, nodding their heads in agreement as spencer tearfully smiled back 

"thank you ale and fran, that means a lot," spencer smiled, hugging his son and daughter close as he then took in a big deep breath 

spencer then joined his sisters-in-law as they sat on the outside steps as they faced each other again and smiled. 

"you girls ready to face everyone again?" spencer questions his sisters-in-law as they stay close, alejandra holding spencer's hand as she and francesca smile down at the ground - knowing there was going to be a lot more tears but that they were maybe going to be less loud 

"i mean, the show must go on, right?" francesca chimed in as spencer smiled and nodded his head at his sister-in-law as they both took one last look at their now-sleeping twins and niece and nephew before heading back inside 

"you are absolutely correct fran, you are correct," spencer smiled, making the girl laugh as they walked inside, alejandra was not that far behind them as alain, the father of alejandra and francesca waiting for them, the twins and spencer 

"you alright darling?" alain whispered as he held his daughter, alejandra tight as she smiled, nodding her head into her father's chest, francesca got a hug from their mom 

"mhm, more than alright dad," she whispered back as her dad smiled, closing his eyes tightly 

"that's good babe, but, maybe give spencer another hug? he's not as strong as he thinks he is. he's struggling without lennon to help with atlas and sage, he's scared. he needs to know we'll still be there even if he does end up with someone else," alain whispered as alejandra nodded her head and walked back over to her brother-in-law 

catching him off-guard, but thankful he was now only holding one twin, sage, his tears seemed to begin again when alejandra pulled him in for another hug. breaking her heart once again as his eyes closed and only wished for this whole scenario to be a bad dream and that he'd be back at the bau and that his wife was still alive. 

"you sure you're okay, spence?" alejandra whispered softly, asking her brother-in-law again who cried softly, hugging his daughter sage closer, the other grip on alejandra 

"in time," spencer sniffled quietly, letting alejandra understand that he was admitting he was terrified as she nodded her head in agreement 

"in time," alejandra repeated because it was true 

everything was going to get better, in time. 

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

a love returned in full🫶

pairing : dr spencer reid x bau!fem reader

summary : pivotal moments in the story of how dr spencer reid and his wife francesca fell in love. 

warnings : legit none, it's pretty much just fluff upon fluff. spence deserves some happiness 

a/n : i actually got inspiration from one of my favourite imagines on tumblr by an amazing author by the name of "mggswhoreificlover" and i was literally, just before starting to write this, was reading their imagine called "wandering in love" - so thank you for the inspo! 

ssa agents dr spencer reid and francesca saint laurent were the best of friends, they were a tag team and the only two with more academic titles and knowledge under their belt than anyone else in their unit. it must also be mentioned that they are also the youngest in the team as well. 

they had been best friends since they were kids, the both of them graduating in a las vegas public high school at 12-years-old and graduating college at 14, the both of them with three PhDs and two BDs. they were the two resident geniuses of the FBI's behavioural analysis unit in quantico, virginia, even with their young ages. 

it was actually something that the team's unit chief, ssa aaron hotchner found really enticing and applaudable about the young agents. even though it would be the first time two twenty-something year-olds would be invited into the bau, it was something that was one of the best ideas they could have made. especially when it was taken into consideration that not many other units in the FBI looked at the bau seriously and it was obvious as well. 

another thing that was kind of obvious to everyone else but completely invisible to the young agents was that they were hopelessly in love with each other. everyone noticed how flirtatious their friendship was. and this was something that was always called out to the two agents by the older agents but more specifically derek morgan and penelope garcia; those two having a similar flirtatious friendship. then, the argument from there always turned into that morgan and garcia were also doing the same things, with full intentions of them just being friendly and loving with each other. whereas, everyone else counter-argued that reid and saint laurent's friendship as being flirty and loving with one another. 

whilst the two best friends tried to deny it, it seemed as if this one evening that was no longer possible, no longer able to deny it. this was after the best friends had to go on an undercover mission to a gala night. meaning that the two agents had to dress up, the dress code black tie whilst simutaneously taking down their unsub at the same time. and whilst this was something that they were brilliant at, taking down unsub after unsub, doing it whilst wearing a full suit and tie and floor length gown and heels was something they had not done before. 

but then again, they do always say there's a first for everything. especially in regards to being an agent with the FBI's behavioural analysis unit. 

undercover gala event

getting ready for the gala event, due to it being a black-tie event, the fanciest of all dress codes, that did mean that francesca would have to be wearing a full floor-length gown and spencer in a full coat, tie and tux. and, in francesca's mind, she was kind of excited that she and spencer had been given this undercover mission, they didn't do it often and she loved a moment to dress up on the occasion and go out somewhere whilst the crimes of the world stopped for a moment. 

spencer was also seemingly excited about this undercover mission as morgan and rossi helped the young genius get ready into his tux. the brunette clipping in his cufflinks as he didn't shy away from the life-size mirror in front of him. giving himself a small smile, he stepped back ever so slightly, turning a little to the right and cocking his head to the side slightly and looking impressed at how good he looked. 

"...wow, damn, pretty boy, you look good!" morgan complimented before a wolf whistle followed afterward making both of the men giggle, rossi walking in at the sound of the chuckles

"thanks, morgan!" reid bit his lip as he couldn't stop imagining what francesca was going to look like in her floor-length dress with her makeup and hair done

it made butterflies flutter in his stomach and his cheeks blush a light pink whenever he thought of it. he just couldn't help himself either cause he couldn't help the way he felt for his best friend and fellow agent either. 

"huh, you really do clean up well genius," rossi compliments as spencer chuckles shyly as he straightens himself straight again as he gave a head nod

"thanks rossi...now, we wait for francesca and see what she looks like..." he shyly trails off as morgan and rossi smile at each other before small gasps leave their mouths 

they notice that she was standing right behind reid, the two men noticing her in the mirror. francesca was smiling softly as she waited patiently for spencer to notice and take a second look at himself in the mirror and notice her as well. francesca was in a black velvet slit dress with a halter neck, a low cut that showed off her back and a slit that showed off the entirety of her right leg, the left leg covered completely. her hair was straight, different to her regular curls and pinned back with a hair pin. her heels silver and not too flashy but decorated with a couple of lines of sparkling jewels around the front of the heel. 

spencer was gobsmacked as were morgan and rossi. this had been the first time they had ever really seen francesca in anything that wasn't her uniform that she wore for work. which usually consisted of boots, jeans/dress pants and a tank top/button shirt. francesca smiled shyly as she placed her hands behind her back, lightly resting on her bum as she waited for the silence to be lifted.

but it didn't. it was as though they couldn't because they were all too enamoured by how gorgeous francesca looked they got distracted. finally though, spencer was able to speak up even though he stammered through the whole sentence. 

"...you...you look stun...stunning francesca..." spencer was shy in his comment that he stammered out which made francesca smile bigger as she giggled softly 

morgan and rossi once again indulging in the fact that francesca always managed to make spencer a stammering, fumbling blob which reduces his impressive 187 IQ right down to about 60. 

"...aw...thanks spence. you...you look very lovely as well..." she gulped as she finally noticed morgan and rossi in the room with her and spencer 

"...are...are we all ready to head out now?" francesca stammers out as spencer also snaps out of his daze as morgan and rossi smile and nod their heads

once again, the two of them silently teasing the two younger agents at their blatent firting and cluelessness. the older agents trying to hide their giggles so they could grab hotch for the briefing for the mission. 

the guns and fbi badges that were needed for spencer and francesca were given to them by rossi, spencer sticking his in the back of his dress pants instead of his regular appendix carry whilst francesca stuck hers in the holster around her leg, just above where the slit on her right leg started. and it was very movie-esque of hotch to suggest it but, he knew it would be efficient, especially if the unsub did try to get close to her, it would alarm him into submission rather than fight.

of course, for spencer, watching his best friend attach and tighten her gun to the holster around her leg was a turn on. it was madly attractive to him and he had no idea how to feel about it. especially when it was noticed that it was very clear that morgan had noticed the way spencer's eyes danced at their fellow agent's right leg. where her gun managed to be magically unseen by the naked eye as it rested against her thigh, the rest of her leg out for the world to see and admire. 

"...cat got your tongue, kid?" morgan teased softly, noticing that spencer was still staring at francesca's right leg, which was on full display minus the gun and holster

"shut up, morgan!" spencer whispered with a shy smile as he looked away ever so slightly 

that was until he noticed the moment that morgan looked away as the dr took another cheeky look back down at francesca's leg. of course, it hadn't taken morgan that long to notice that spencer was once again looking at francesca's leg before they had to stop since they didn't want to get caught by hotch and rossi. especially before they were just about to be told the rest of the plan for the case by hotch. 

🚨

arriving into the gala and this undercover mission didn't seem too complicated for the young agents. they had been trained perfectly and they were no longer the rookies of the team, whilst they weren't as athletically built as morgan or jj, they were still strong enough to hold their own, even if it was just their intelligence and agility that saved them. besides, when you have an undercover mission like this one, when you're investigating a local gala fundraiser as a fbi agent, pretty much anything is possible. 

whilst francesca and spencer were working directly inside the gala event, they weren't alone. outside of the building that was hosting the event, fbi agents, S.W.A.T and the rest of the bau were surrounding it, and this was just incase the unsub did try to escape. however, for the first hour, it seemed like this was just a regular gala fundraiser evening that was going perfectly smooth and nothing bad was planned. but then, to the two agents, it felt like it was too smooth of an evening and that something just had to go wrong.

that was when francesca moved to the table directly in the middle of the room that she had recognised the person they were searching for, the unsub that had evaded capture for at least a couple of weeks by this point. after communicating through codes and signals, francesca notified the entire team that she was with the unsub. a black male, 6ft5 with a stocky build that had been on the run. he had been on the run after killing his entire family along with four other innocent young women who looked like his terminally ill wife. they were killed because all four women as well as the children refused to let the unsub harvest their organs and blood for transplants and transfusions for his wife that was dying. 

whilst this unsub was an evil man without question, francesca could empathise with his situation, even if she really didn't want to. her childhood, much like spencer's, wasn't the easiest nor the happiest. francesca was born just for the purpose of being used as her dying father's donor, whether it was for bone marrow, blood or organs in the future, because her dad was dying due to cancer. by the time francesca reached her early teenage years, she had enough after she had learnt, from spencer, the same spencer she works with in the bau, that she wasn't concieved because her mum wanted kids. but purely for the fact she wanted to harvest her blood, bone marrow and eventual organs to keep her dying father alive. no other reason. just a pure organ harvest baby or 'savior baby' as it's called. 

in francesca's mind, it seemed as though she didn't have any other purpose in her family other than being the sole reason why her father was still alive. and by that point, she had gotten sick of it. her father also reaching his wits end because it became obvious he was wanting to pass away peacefully and stop with all the hospital visits for blood and marrow donations. but, francesca's mother, her dad's wife, was way too stubborn and refused to believe that francesca and her father no longer wanted to be used as a donor anymore and no longer wanted to receive said donations. so, that was when francesca decided to hire a lawyer and took the case to court, her dad and siblings as viable witnesses and medically emancipated herself from her mom. 

she knew the pain this unsub was going through, trying his best to do everything he could to try and save his dying wife but, killing his entire family and then innocent others who rejected his pleads to be his wife's donor was anything but excusable. that was how francesca was going to subdue the unsub and talk him down from causing mass destruction at this fundraiser gala, ironically for people that suffer from terminal illnesses like cancer. which was where he was said to commit his next murder, at this very gala and then, all of a sudden, she signalled to her partner spencer that she was going in. 

"...ssa francesca saint laurent is moving to the target, do not shoot unless shots are fired," hotch orders after receiving the all clear from spencer as everyone stood by like ordered too

then, everyone watched as francesca strutted over slyly to the unsub as though unsuspecting as she struck up a conversation with him. then, it was clear the unsub was clued into the fact that maybe, francesca wasn't just a hot woman who wanted to talk with him. 

that was because it hadn't taken francesca long to whip out her gun from the holster which caused spencer to almost blow his own cover from how turned on he got. thankfully though, he calmed himself down as he watched the way francesca subdued the man. even though he knew he was being captured, it was still unclear for the unsub if francesca really has lead in it. 

beginning her apprehension strategy, spencer watched on now with worry as he composed himself. francesca was someone who rarely showed fear, like at all. she was someone who was hard to see get scared or intimidated by someone or something. and right now, facing a highly dangerous man who looked like your average joe with his own gun around a table of young women, with just her gun, francesca did not show a single ounce of fear. and spencer found that extremely attractive like, earlier on when he had to compose himself, he thought he was drooling and about to blow his cover. thankfully though, spencer was paying attention and fully focused on the task at hand, after receiving another signal from hotch, francesca reveals her identify as an fbi agent as she properly apprehended their unsub. 

"...daniel rivers, my name is ssa francesca saint laurent, i'm with the fbi's behavioural analysis unit. i just want to talk to you, okay? please step away from the group of women and place the gun down, are you able to do that for me?" francesca asks assertively but softly as daniel's hands shake apprehensively as to whether he should believe her or not

"why? what will you do to me?" he questions with apprehension, francesca breathing as she decides, the empathy tactic was the smartest route and the easiest way to make sure the entire gala patrons stayed safe

"daniel, i know why you killed these people and, i am so sorry to hear about your wife, i truly am," francesca started, lowering her own gun down so daniel knew she wasn't a threat

in which she wasn't and this made daniel subconsciously also lower his gun and step away from the group of women who were scared. the gun making a soft "plonk" noise meaning it had safely landed on the floor as francesca continued. 

"i know what it's like to have a terminally ill family member. my...my dad was....is terminally ill and the reason why i exist is because i was conceived purely for the usage of harvest donation and being a savior baby. donating my blood, bone marrow and eventual organs for my dying father as he slowly dies from cancer. i was just thirteen, barely a teenager and the age of your youngest daughter when i went into a courtroom with a lawyer i had only met with one other time and requested i receive medical emancipation from my mom. and i won the court case. i hated my mom for forcing me to be used for nothing else but as the sole reason for my dad's life and being the only reason why he was still alive. as it went further and further with my mom's delusion and selfishness, my dad also became hateful for the way my mom was dealing with the anticipatory grief his death would bring her..." francesca hadn't really told anyone about this part of her life, only hotch and spencer knew about it 

as derek morgan, jennifer jareau, emily prentiss and penelope garcia listened in on the take down via their wired earpieces, it tore their hearts into pieces knowing that their fellow agent had been used as human donor for her dying father her entire childhood up until she was thirteen. 

"...please daniel, no one will hurt you. all we'll do is arrest you momentarily for the safety of yourself and everyone else and ask you some questions. if you just comply with me and the rest of my agents, we will get you out of here safely and no one, including the both of us, gets hurt. is that okay, does that work for you?" francesca spoke softly as she realised the true wear and tear this unsub had surrounding him 

whilst his acts of murder and human harvesting were unaccetable, shameful and illegal, francesca understood perfectly. even though they were on different sides of the sword, it would be a complete lie if francesca said she never wanted to murder her own mother before she was emancipated. because she has totally said that and wished for that to occur. 

"i...i...i was just trying to help my wi...wife! i...i can't...i don't want to lose her! no one else in my family has her blood type or was compatible for marrow....i..." 

"...daniel, i know you were just trying to help save your wife but, there were other ways you could have done it. you could have taken her to a hospital that specalises in that field, a cancer hospital where they're are registered blood, organ and marrow donors that would have happily helped with your wife's condition. if you had went about this correctly, daniel, you and your wife would still have all three children alive and able to assist you in getting the correct help for your wife and their mother.  just please, stop this now before things get worse, let me help you so no one else has to get hurt..." francesca trails off, just hoping to god that the unsub would listen to her

spencer fights his emotions that he knew he couldn't hide as he watches their unsub, a 6ft5 black man who was just as if not more athletic and strong than morgan and a serial killer just collapse as he breaks down into tears. 

the rest of the agents breathing with ease, easing their guns as they heard the unsubs wails as francesca spoke out the official arrest speech and miranda rights as she escorted him out of the building on her own.

"...daniel rivers, you are under arrest for the murders of your three children, shailey rivers, maxine rivers, taylor rivers and the murders of tracie abraham, lucie wong, bethanie wickham and tabitha moore. you have the right to remain silent and anything you say now can and will be used against you in a court of law..." 

placing the unsub into the police vehicle and watching as the gala event evacuated safely, the bau came back together for their debrief about the undercover mission. spencer standing in front of his best friend with his mouth slightly ajar with eyes that looked slightly red as if he had been fighting away tears. 

"...close your mouth pretty boy, can't have you catching any flies," francesca teased, her smile soft and her pointer finger tickling spencer's chin as she pushed her finger upwards to close spencer's mouth

smiling at her, spencer pulled her in for a hug as the girl smiled and accepted the hug without hesitation. this was the moment that spencer knew he was head over heels for his best friend and nothing would change it. this moment forever engrained in his memory, falling in love with his best friend during an undercover mission at a gala fundraiser event. 

first date 

after their undercover mission, spencer didn't waste a second longer before telling francesca how he really felt about her. he couldn't process the reason why it had taken him so long but, he was more than happy at the same time. he couldn't wait any longer before it just came out in stammering, flustered and confident mess that was spencer's attempt to ask his best friend out on a "romatic date". 

the two had been on many dates but they were what the two called best friend dates which were always looked at with the cheeky eyebrow wiggle by the rest of the team as well as others around them. however, those looks and wolf whistles were always ignored. that was until they could no longer be ignored and the two young agents finally revealed their real feelings for each other. which, of course, made the entire team cheer and throw a party. 

for their first romantic date, spencer wanted it to be memorable. of course he did, he was just that type of person. anything he and francesca did together was made unforgettable, except for the fact that francesca didn't inherit the same eidetic memory like spencer had but she didn't have to. she didn't need an eidetic memory to remember how she felt when she was around spencer. especially when spencer never failed to take a camera with them everywhere they went. not to take photos of himself but of francesca. even though spencer never needed a camera since he always memorised every little thing from what francesca was wearing to the perfume she had been spraying herself with all week, spencer never forgot anything in regard to his best friend and lover.

dressed in an off-the-shoulder maxi sunflower dress with curled hair and white converse high tops, francesca struggled with hiding the smile on her face when spencer dragged her into the van gogh interactive museum. in his most casual pair of trousers and a button-down shirt, spencer was unable to hide the butterflies in his stomach as he held onto francesca's hand as they looked intently at all of gogh's artwork pieces whilst they'd occasionally stop to take photos of each other. 

it was this date in particular that spencer knew he could no longer wait another moment before he kissed her on the lips. to be perfectly honest, that was something he had been wanting to do way back at the gala fundrasier when they went undercover however, unfortunately, he couldn't do it. and whilst it was obvious as to why, that didn't stop his mind from spinning in imagination with many a scenario playing out in the young genius' head of how, when, where and all the other bits and bobs of kissing francesca were going to work out as. however, this moment right here, at the van gogh interactive museum, where there were only a few other patrons walking around in admiration for the famous painter's pieces, spencer knew he could do it and get away with it. for this was no longer a professional work matter in which it could be considered as 'unprofessional' and 'fraternising' if someone saw. 

carefully spencer moved a piece of hair that covered francesca's forehead, "would it be ludicrous rigt now if i just kissed you?" spencer smiled with confidence as francesca smiled, biting her lip

"not at all pretty boy, not ludicrous at all," she smiled as her heart faced, butterflies swirling in her body as excitement pulsed through her

the two inched closer before spencer took control, his hand resting against francesca's chin, slightly lifting it as he then moved his mouth closer to francesca's before his lips encapsulated hers. it was as though their bodies moulded together whilst they kissed and it was perfect, as though they were truly made to fit each other. like soulmates. 

pulling away finally, the two started giggling, "...that was amazing!" spencer whispered as francesca couldn't have agreed more, nodding her head

"it...it was...woah...can...can we do that again?" francesca stammered, a big smile on her face as spencer happily nodded as they kissed again, but this time it was a lot more M rated than PG

who knew a once shy and very (and still) awkward dr spencer reid and sometimes equally as shy francesca saint laurent would be caught making out in public, much less at an interactive art museum for their favourite painter, vincent van gogh? 

clearly the rest of the team, derek and jj specifically since they had been stalking the couple and had watched the entire thing unfold...yeah, that was a lot of explaining to do from derek and jj after spencer and francesca found out...

proposal 

spencer and francesca dated for one year, eight months and eight days before the doctor went down on one knee to propose to her. it was a very sweet and well thought-out propose that was exactly the way francesca had always dreamt of it being. whilst both spencer and francesca were normally shy people, francesca had always dreamt of being proposed, whether by spencer or not, in public in front of family and friends and all dressed up. and the most perfect way spencer knew he could do that was at one of rossi's famous dinner parties at his mansion. so, after that information was well-known, spencer and the rest of the bau team went to work to plan francesca's perfect proposal. and, they did.

spencer proposed to francesca at one of rossi's dinner parties all for the purpose of their engagement. whilst the invites sent to everyone that it was a fancy dinner party, to make sure francesca didn't become suspicious, they all knew that it wasn't just any regular fancy dinner party at rossi's. 

copying the look she wore when she and spencer went on their undercover mission, francesca was wearing a beautiful red velvet halter dress with her hair curled, nails done and sparkly high heels as her shoe of choice. spencer also dressing up, whilst keeping his usual dress pants, he paired it with a buttoned-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up and his hair styled nicely. his shoes a nice shiny black dress shoe. 

the couple made their way into rossi's mansion for the party, francesca thinking it was yet another one of rossi's stunning parties however for spencer, the vintage engagement ring of his mother's suddenly became all the more heavier in his back pocket. not of fear but of pure happiness.

the couple smiled and gave hugs to everyone they encountered throughout the mansion, francesca unable to hide away her smile, spencer unable to hide his smile either. especially when it was known by everyone (sans francesca) on what he was moments away from doing. however, it hadn't taken long before a small moment of eye contact between rossi and spencer was what made it official that spencer was ready and rossi tapped his champagne flute, catching everyone's attention. 

with everyone's attention at the front of the room where strategically spencer had made sure he and francesca would be at the 'front' of the room no matter where they stood, everyone crowding around them as francesca still not knowing what was happening. 

it wasn't until she realised the change in spencer's posture and nature when she cocked her head to the side as she watched him start his speech, "...francesca, we've been dating for one year, eight months and eight days and that year, those eight months and eight days have been nothing but the best days, months and year of my life. i guess that's why so many people thought we had been dating for longer, because even as friends no one really knew what we were to each other...not even us..." spencer pauses which causes laughter as francesca watches in awe, unsure of how to react at first, unable to take her eyes off him

"...but, that wasn't where our friendship started, we've been with each other since we were learning how to walk. we were the two 12-year-olds graduating high school and graduating college at 14. i guess that's why we were often called a couple of smartarses..." spencer trailed off, making everyone laugh a second time as francesca can't help but just stare at spencer as he doesn't miss a beat

"...for as long as i can remember, in this world, in my world at least, it's always been you and me, me and you, spencer and francesca. there was never a doubt in anyone's mind that what we had would ever be lost. whether or not we moved away from each other or whether we decided becoming fbi agents together wasn't what one of us wanted or whether we stayed together, our friendship and love for one another was so solid that we didn't mind if we were apart. and that was because we always knew the way back to each other. you are my home, francesca. you make me feel safe, you make me feel smart...you're the reason why i wake up every morning and why i'm such a good fbi agent. you're the reason why i didn't leave. you're the best of me, francesca. you are the sun and the moon that shine over me when i need it the most. you are the stars that flicker and guide me to where i know it's safe. you are the joy and the laughter that surround me even though working a job such as an fbi agent is less than joyful. even if i didn't have an eidetic memory or i ever lost it, i know i wouldn't ever have to worry about the thought of forgetting you. it's been a dream to be your boyfriend but i think it'll be an even better dream i'd never want to wake up from if i could be your husband?" spencer was teary as he slowly and shakily kneeled down to the ground, the velvet box opening to reveal the vintage engagement ring that was once that of diana reid's as francesca was at a loss of words

with everyone else waiting with anticipation and excitement, francesca was still silent in shock however, she remembered she could still nod and move her head so, that's what she did. until she was able to find her voice again, she trusted that her excited headnods up and down gave spencer and everyone else the answer they all were hoping for. 

"is...is that a yes, angel?" spencer wanted to clarify for everyone who looked like they were edging on their seats as francesca giggled and nodded her head again

"yes!" she breathed out as everyone cheered as spencer's face widened with the biggest smile ever as he picked her up as she squealed joyfully

spencer could have cried as his eyes widened with joy hearing her 'yes' to his marriage proposal. the proposal he had rehearsed relentlessly, only hoping it would turn out this way. elegantly sliding the ring on francesca's finger as he then scoops her and picks her up causing her to squeal.

letting the newly engaged couple to celebrate privately and get a little bit of space, rossi and the rest of the bau raised a toast for the couple that they all saw grow up and fall in love. rossi couldn't help the way he stared at the closed door of the room that spencer and francesca were in. he knew they were needing alone time to decompress and debrief about what had actually happened. he also knew that they were calling their families who weren't here such as diana, spencer's mom as well as francesca's family. hotch watched as rossi silently raised his glass to the closed door and smiled. it was clear that the unit chief wasn't the only one who had been eagerly waiting for this moment to happen. 

"...i love you so much, spence!" francesca whispered, the couple sitting together on the bed, holding hands

"i love you too, francesca," spencer whispered back, tears welling his eyes as he squeezed his now-fiancée

"this ring is beautiful, spence. it looks a lot like your mom's..." francesca looked at her ring more intensely as her eyes widened

"...spence, how did you convince your mom to give me her engagement ring?" francesca squealed in shock as spencer smiled

"there was no convincing, baby. she gave it to me all on her own. i think she could sense that i was thinking about it and just without saying any words, handed me the enagement ring that dad proposed to her with. it's not like she's needed it considering her and dad have been divorced for years now," spencer smiled, shrugging his shoulders as francesca shook her head giggling

"wow, a mother really does know!" francesca mutters as spencer giggles

"yes they do!" spencer sighed before silence filled the room before it was cut short 

"shit spence, we're getting married! like, actually getting married!" francesca spoke slow and soft as spencer giggled and nodded his head

"yes we are, babe! it's finally happening, who knew after all these years that we'd be dating but that we're engaged?" spencer chuckled which made francesca giggle a little as she nodded her head

"clearly, not us!" joking, francesca giggled as did spencer before they moved into a sweet gentle kiss

then, that was when wedding planning started. they decided to keep tradition, they'd get married at rossi's, the same place they got engaged. then, when discussions about who would marry them came up short, it was rossi that put his hand up and said he'd get himself ordained and marry them. that was also when hotch offered to walk francesca down the aisle since, unfortunately, francesca's father had since succumbed to his cancer and passed away in hospice. thankfully though, he was able to stay alive to give spencer his blessing to propose to francesca, his little girl. jj, penelope, kristy and tara as her bridesmaids with emily as her maid of honour with will (jj's husband), luke, matt and daniel as spencer's groomsmen with derek as his best man. henry and michael, jj and will's little boys as the ring bearer whilst they had one of francesca's young cousins as their flower girl. 

wedding

francesca felt like this was a dream she didn't want to wake up from. it was the day of her and spencer's wedding. the day she'd finally become mrs reid for the rest of her life, no longer francesca saint laurent but francesca reid. and it didn't worry her like she thought it would. she had heard so many stories growing up of how scary and worrying it was when ladies got married and had to get used to the feeling of dropping their maiden names and take their husbands. however, that wasn't how francesca felt. 

she felt joy and excitement to change her last name from saint laurent to reid, not that she hated her maiden name. she loved it honestly, she loved how french and posh it sounded even though the only french connections she had to the european country was that she was concieved there as well as born there. 

she also felt relaxed as she stared back at herself as she wore her dream wedding dress with her hair and makeup done. her high heels already moulding to her feet moments before she was to meet hotch, the man who was moments from walking her down the aisle to meet her soon-to-be husband. 

since she had already had her first look with the wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) all that was left was to wait for hotch and be walked down the aisle and marry spencer and she couldn't have been more excited. 

waiting at the backdoor of rossi's house that would lead into the prettiest wedding venues ever seen, francesca was patient and didn't seem as anxious as she thought she'd be. she refused to call her mom since the lady wasn't invited in the first place nor did she want to see her siblings or niece and nephews beforehand. fearing those things would make her panic even though her mom did try to gaslight her into making a phone call but, francesca's mom should have known that trick no longer worked on her. 

the only people she had allowed to see her were her bridal party as well as spencer's groomsmen. the first time spencer would see her would be when she walks down the aisle next to hotch.

speaking of hotch, he was now behind the girl, softly touching her exposed back to let her know he was there without scaring her. turning around, smiling shyly, she couldn't believe the look of pride that overwhelmed her unit chief as his eyes fought back tears. it was rare that hotch would cry but, when it came to his team but especially spencer and francesca, he had a soft spot for them that knew no bounds and emotions. 

"...hey francesca, you ready?" hotch whispers, looking in awe of his youngest agent, tears building in his eyes

"hey aaron, yeah, i'm ready!" francesca smiled, turning around to look at her unit chief, the man who was like a second father to the girl, hotch also smiling at hearing her call him by his first name

"well then, let's not waste anymore time then," hotch smiled, his wrinkles showing as francesca smiled back

immediately grabbing the man's hand as hotch tucked it in between the both of them, his other hand over the top of the encapsulated hands. he couldn't remember how or when but, aaron had remembered one day when he overheard his team talking during a rather calm down at the headquarters. the youngest three, francesca, spencer and penelope were talking about one thing whilst jj, derek and emily watched on silently. that was when aaron overheard it. 

"...why don't you like linking arms, fran?" penelope questions as she shows her coworkers photos from her cousin's wedding

the photo was of penelope's cousin with her dad, their arms linked as the photo showed the father and daughter walking down the aisle. looking at the photo, francesca couldn't help the screwed up look on her face as giggles surrounded her as her eyes widened. she couldn't believe she had made that face rather than only thinking of it. 

for as long as francesca could remember, she hated linking arms with anyone. it wasn't her dad in specifics considering the photo she screwed her face at but, she just remembers as a kid having to do it a lot at school and with her mom. oh, that was why she hated it. interlocked arms reminded her of her mom. the lady that brought a baby into this world only for the purpose of selfishly keeping her dying husband alive whilst he was slowly dying of cancer. 

"oh, just bad memories, pen. but, your cousin and dad look so sweet in that photo!" francesca smiles as she shrugged her shoulders as penelope cocked her head to the side

"bad memories about your mom?" penelope asked as francesca just nodded her head

"yeah. for her, interlocking arms meant control and if her arm was interlocked with mine, i couldn't run away from her. and if i even dared to try, i'd be wishing i hadn't..."

...smiling softly, francesca couldn't believe that aaron had remembered the dislike of interlocked arms. tightening her grip on her unit chief, him doing the same, she finally felt ready to get married to spencer. 

thankfully, the doors opened and the processional music begun. the music was beethoven crossed with the ever traditional 'here comes the bride'. then, aaron and francesca begun their walk down the aisle. keeping her eyes ahead of her, she knew she'd never forget the looks from her team as they all looked at their best friend with pure love as she glowed. 

smiling brightly, spencer watched as the love of his life got closer and closer to him. thankful he could somewhat hold back his tears, he was now getting impatient, his legs turning to jelly. nothing had really started but already spencer was wanting to kiss francesca and call her mrs reid. but he knew he had to wait just a little bit more so, he did. 

finally, with aaron by her side, francesca finally reached spencer at the aisle with rossi standing behind. aaron giving the young girl a kiss to the forehead before giving some words of love and wisdom to both spencer and francesca. then, aaron handed the girl over to spencer and walked back to his seat so the wedding could finally start. 

looking at one another in pure astoundment, it finally became real for spencer and francesca. rossi getting everyone to sit down and started the wedding officially. 

"...welcome to all family, friends, loved ones and ones that were found at the steps of the fbi building *giggles*. we are all gathered here today to celebrate the union of dr spencer reid and miss francesca saint laurent. to support their commitment of love and to share the joy of the life of the two of them together as they choose to spend the rest of their lives with one another," rossi introduces with a smile as everyone watches keenly

"spencer and francesca, your marriage will be a lifelong promise to love, respect, trust and honour one another through the good, bad, unexpected and expected. this union represents your commitment to support one another as individual persons but to also share your joys, sorrows, trials, tribulations and dreams as one. a strong bond works in unison, not only to nurture the best parts of your personalities but to also understand each other's differences and flaws...not that you two really have any *giggles*. you are committing yourselves to learn how to grow with one another whilst remembering to keep open minds throughout this journey of life together," 

"today you gain an equal partner who you will confinde in, who will defend you to the ends of the earth, who'll protect you and motivate you through every aspiration, goal and success. you will celebrate each accomplishment whilst also providing peace through each setback. but most importantly, give each other love and support during life's biggest and smallest moments," 

"the two of you are creating a new home together, where love, trust and loyalty are the foundations. no matter what the future throws at the both of you, rely on those foundations and you shall only see your bond grow stronger and your souls also grow," 

"whilst marriage isn't easy, from experience, there's no way that it's something that will easily break you both. you two show care, compassion, love and empathy. you trust one another but most importantly, you are each other's best friend," 

rossi then ordered for the two to join hands and look at one another. giggling, the two listened and did as they were told. holding hands and smiling, they looked over to rossi as he told them to recite the traditional vows before reciting their own handwritten ones. 

"...francesca alaia saint laurent, you were my very first best friend from when we were kids and we did everything together." spencer begins in a matter-of-fact tone with a smile

"you refused to leave my side at high school when we were twelve. even when i was being bullied and used as the centrepiece joke. you couldn't stand it, the fact a group of kids who were four/five years older than us who were in the same grade as us were so immature that they thought bullying two twelve-year-old kids who didn't ask to be in the same grade but were was a smart idea. you also refused to let them lay a hand on me and that was when i realised, for the first time ever that i was important. before then, i don't think i even considered myself as a 'someone'. i had always let people do whatever they wanted to me because i never wanted to make a fuss or confirm people's suspicions that they had about me." spencer's voice got quiet as his emotions became lodged in his throat

"i never thanked you at the time for that. it wasn't because i wasn't thankful but because i never knew how to tell you much less show you just how thankful i was for how you saved me. i've always loved you, francesca, it was something we said to each other every single day, even when we knew it would cause rumours around the office. we just didn't care. however, during that undercover mission we went on together, that was when i did start to really care about those three words we were telling each other everyday with such ease. i was already in love with you but, that day really sold it for me that if i was to fall in love with anyone, it was always going to be you. you are my sun, moon and my stars, fran." 

"i was always told 12-year-old spencer struggled without you but, 27-year-old spencer struggles even more without you. i can barely function without you as though you were a cup of my daily coffee *giggles*. i promise to always love you, even when the world makes it difficult to. the way i love you i can't ever describe, even though i'm the smartest in this room academically and statistically. when it comes to you though, my intelligence no longer exists and i'm just spencer. and sometimes, i forget that with you, i don't need to be dr reid with the 187 iq and the eidetic memory. with you, francesca, i can just be me. just spencer." he concludes as a single tear streams his cheek as francesca smiles, wiping it away with a tilt of her head 

now it was francesca's turn for her vows. at first, she had everything handwritten that her maid of honour emily had handed her. however, she no longer needed it as she handed it back. she just knew that saying whatever came to her mind and heart was better. what she wrote down she could give to her new husband after the ceremony.

"growing up, english literature was my favourite subject. and when i got to high school, grade 12 specifically, that was my best subject next to psychology. i remember in my english lit exam there was a word and a definition and the word was one i hadn't seen before. which was strange since at that age, i was like a human dictionary. but, this word was different, rather than seeing it as just a word, i saw it as a person. spencer." 

"like mentioned countless times, me and spencer grew up together. it had never been anyone else, just the two of us and that was just the way we liked it. no one new that we had to worry about to ruin our dynamic. no one new who would be jealous about the way spencer and i were with each other. no one new that would take away our love for each other."

"my dear spencer, if only i knew what words to say about you, i'd have said all of them already. however, i'm at a loss for words because there are no words that could describe what i feel for you. whilst i may be a human dictionary, i express how i feel for people through my actions and my acts of service. whilst words are powerful, they are just words at the end of the day. most of the time, it isn't words that make things happen, it's actions. my mom always told me she loved me but her actions always told me the opposite and i always loathed her for it because what mom that loves her child would only have it to harvest their body, blood and marrow for their dying father?" 

"however, when spencer told me he loved me, he wasn't just telling me he loved me, he was showing me. he was braiding my hair, he was giving me flowers and other little gifts, he was helping me shower when i couldn't. he was washing my clothes when he knew it was another thing that had been forgotten about. spencer didn't just tell me he loved me and stopped at that. he made sure to show me, he made sure i knew just how much he loved me. he did all of this because he knew that love was more than just words..." 

"the word i was referring to in the beginning of my vows that i first saw back in high school, is redamancy. it's definition in the oxford dictionary is the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full. and if there is anyone in this life who represents that exact word, it's my husband and the person i'm always going to return my full love to, spencer." finishing her vows, it was silent before everyone cheered

of course, it was emotional and a few tears escaped from spencer's eyes. wiping them away, it was time for henry and michael to walk down the aisle together with the rings. handing over the rings, the little boys bumbled back over to sit with their daddy in the front row whilst waving at their mommy who was aunty 'cesca's bridesmaid. 

"your rings represent this promise to one another. this never-ending circle is a symbol of an infinite, unbreakable love," rossi started, smiling

"spencer, take this ring and place it on francesca's finger..."

now that spencer and francesca had exchanged rings, it was now time for the moment everyone had been waiting for the entire ceremony. 

"...having pledged your love and promise to one another today in front of all your friends and family, by the power vested in me and the state of virginia, i now pronounce you husband and wife. you may now kiss your bride, spencer!" rossi exclaimed, stepping out to the side as the photographer captured the beautiful moment of dr and mrs reid's first kiss as husband and wife

dipping his wife to the floor, spencer couldn't have been happier right now. here he was, with his wife and so many people they loved surrounding them as they got married. squealing, francesca held spencer tight so he wouldn't drop her. 

"it is my honour to finally introduce you to dr and mrs reid!" applause followed as the married couple interlocked hands as they ascended the aisle together

after a night of speeches, dancing, laughter, joy and tears, the wedding of spencer and francesca reid was over and it no longer felt like a dream. it was finally concrete that they were staying together forever. 

pregnancy 

the reids weren't even married for a full year before they started to actively try for a baby. for so many years, after everything that had been medically done to her, francesca fought with herself if she wanted to ever try for a baby. especially after the things that her mother had done to her. so when francesca, emily and jj took a pregnancy test in the bau girls bathrooms, her eyes lit up in excitement before widening in shock of her being pregnant with her and spencer's first baby. 

remembering quickly that these bathroom walls were not soundproof, all the women fought extremely hard to not scream the building down. it wasn't a secret to anyone the fears francesca had about the probability of not being able to have kids which was spencer's biggest dreams. but, now, the dream was no longer a dream. much like their wedding day. 

rushing out of the bathroom, to avoid suspicion, the three girls went back to their desks to finish their paperwork. for a split second, francesca did have the impulsive choice to just chuck one of the pregnancy tests onto spencer's desk. however, she decided against it. 

it wasn't until the husband and wife arrived home that francesca finally revealed it to spencer. and the way she revealed it was the sweetest way possible. she managed to find some infant size converse and hid the pregnancy test in one of the shoes.

"...hey, babe, why is there a used pregnancy test in a pair of converse meant for babies?" spencer questions, the thought of he and his wife so suddenly becoming parents not registering straight away

francesca was just about to explain that it wasn't just anyone's used pregnancy test but, spencer's eyes widened quickly. he had realised whose pregnancy test it was as his face almost split from how big his smile got. 

"is...is this a used pregnancy test?" spencer squeaked, his voice raising an octave as francesca couldn't resist the head nod as her smile spread across her face

"uh-huh, it is...it's ours and it's positive. we're pregnant, baby!" francesca stammered excitedly as spencer's eyes widened again as he dropped the test and converse, rushing over to pick up his wife

squealing, the husband and wife celebrated as they quickly booked a doctor's appointment with the family's OB to see how far along francesca actually was. 

present time 

it was nine beautiful months later that francesca gave birth to her and spencer's beautiful baby girl. the entire team had made their way to the hospital in excitement but, no one had more honour and excitement then mr derek morgan and miss emily prentiss. the two agents that baby reid was named after. emily morgan reid was born during a cold december's day in the early morning and her birth plan was seamless and the exact way spencer and francesca dreamt of it going. 

unit chief hotch had graciously given both parents paid maternity and paternal leave, francesca for a year permanently but a second year if she chose to and spencer twelve weeks plus more if he chose to. spencer went back as soon as his twelve weeks were up because francesca requested him to and francesca returned after a year and two months. and of course, baby reid was always being brought into the office, a transportable cot moving between penelope's bat cave, hotch's office and the space between spencer and francesca's desks. 

life with a daughter was so much happier and blessed for spencer and francesca. whilst francesca was worried that their jobs as bau agents would accidentally take priority over their baby, it never did. hotch was always so perfectly understanding, as a father himself, that sometimes, one parent always had to leave early to pick up baby emily. and that would be switched every week and this week, it just happened to be that spencer was leaving early to pick up baby emily from her aunty's house. 

it was in that moment as the rest of the team watched the way spencer said goodbye to his wife before promising her that he'd be safe and by the time she gets home, he and baby emily will be home safely. 

"...reid's a good dad, isn't he fran?" derek suddenly comes up from behind francesca but she doesn't scare as she smiles and nods her head

"he's more than just a good dad, morgan. he's a perfect dad," francesca's voice was calm, like it always had been but this time, it was lighter and she sounded young again 

"do you think he'd ever leave the bau to take care of baby emily full time?" derek suddenly asks as francesca turns around this time

"we've talked about it, why derek, you scared he's going to leave you?" francesca joked softly, a cheeky smile playing on her lips but her voice still calm 

"no *giggles*. it just seems as though his focus is no longer on solely being here and swallowed up by it. and honestly, i thought i'd never see the day where he had more than just us to live for..." derek's voice serious as francesca smiled again and nodded her head

"...yeah, baby emily has really changed his perspective and, i think he's loving it. he's been telling me that he's been getting job offers at some local colleges as a criminology professor and he's seriously thinking about looking into them further..." francesca trails off as derek raises his eyebrow

"...what's stopping him from pursuing it then if he's serious about it?" derek questions although he knew the answer, his heart just didn't want the heartbreak of actually hearing it, therefore making it true

"leaving the people who became the family that loved him first..." francesca sighs, giving derek one last look

she then turns away and walks towards hotch's office, an envelope in her hand with her husband's name on it. his future resignation papers in it when he decides to fully take the plunge and leave. but for now, he wasn't still quite there yet. 

fin

oof, this took the whole day and it wasn't even because i edited this, it was because i've been out the whole day. i genuinely love this version way more than my first and i am still considering a part two but am unsure of what it'd look like.

ciao ciao

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

mrs reid🫶

pairing : dr spencer reid x married reid!fem reader

summary : you're married to dr spencer reid and this is your insta feed

warnings : none lol

a/n : love this idea and it's time i add in a fluffy, lovey-dovey fic since it's so close to valentine's day

liked by ynreid, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia, aaronhotchner, davidrossi and 100 others

drsreid the wife caught me reading a case file during an active case

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ynreid yeah cause you're weird baby

drsreid ynreid fair point babe

derekmorgan and let me guess, it had no correlation to the current case we're supposed to be actively solving?

drsreid derekmorgan you are actually wrong this time morgan! this is the case file for the case we're meant to be solving now

penelopegarcia it's thrown me off so badly that he's posted this during an active case...

aaronhotchner reid, as much as i love that you are becoming less of a technophobe, please go back to the geographical profile

drsreid aaronhotchner yes sir!

davidrossi never did i think i'd see the day he'd post a photo during work hours...

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, penelopegarcia, jenniferj, derekmorgan and 100 others

ynreid this was just the first bag we brought home

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drsreid we had at least another four in the car

ynreid drsreid how do we have the money to continously buy more books we don't really need?

emilyprentiss jesus christ you guys! i forget the fact you're the definition of bookworms

penelopegarcia just looking at this photo hurts my eyes and frontal cortex

jenniferj ahh, that's where all the books have gone

derekmorgan that's only the first bag? how many books did you buy?!

ynreid derekmorgan maybe a little too much...

liked by ynreid, derekmorgan, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, davidrossi, penelopegarcia and 100 others

drsreid i guess the wife and i are parents now!

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ynreid best decision we've ever made husband!

drsreid ynreid i have to agree with you wife!

derekmorgan ok that's just adorable. but, is it a dangerous breed?

drsreid derekmorgan she is a little cutie and no, morgan. she isn't dangerous, she's just a puppy!

emilyprentiss omg omg omg. i'm going to need to meet this puppo immediately and what is its name?!

drsreid emilyprentiss absolutely, you need to meet her immediately and her name is dolce, like dolce & gabanna

aaronhotchner genuinely not joking when i say getting a pet before having children is really good practise! the dog is adorable, reid!

davidrossi i can't lie, the puppy is very cute but it's really throwing me off seeing you in a hoodie and without your fbi credentials

penelopegarcia OMG it's so cute spencer! what's its name?! i need to meet the dog immediately!

drsreid penelopegarcia emily said the same thing haha! her name is dolce like dolce & gabanna, if it wasn't already obvious, wifey named her!

liked by drsreid, ablake, ellegreenaway, willlamontagnejr, katecallahan, ashseaver and 100 others

ynreid everybody meet baby dolce, me and husband's new child! and yes, she's named dolce like the designer, dolce & gabanna, obviously because i couldn't name my future human child that name!

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drsreid no but calling our puppy dolce makes so much sense!

ablake oh isn't little dolce just adorable, y.n!

ellegreenaway oh okay, now i have to catch up with you guys, dolce is just adorable!

willlamontagnejr dolce is the cutest thing ever! the family will have to meet her!

katecallahan oh dolce is just gorgeous you two!

ashseaver that's why you posted that thing on your story! you were adopting a puppy! omg dolce is beautiful, y.n!

liked by ynreid, jenniferj, aaronhotchner, penelopegarcia, derekmorgan and 30 others

drsreid pumpkin szn

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ynreid i apologise but your hands look so sexy in this photo, i just had to say it

jenniferj why on earth are you holding the pumpkin like you've got two kids at home?

drsreid jenniferj maybe because i do

aaronhotchner that's a good pumpkin, good pick reid!

penelopegarcia what will you do with them, reid?

drsreid penelopegarcia i think we're just gonna have them as decorations in front of the house and then buy carving pumpkins later

derekmorgan that is the biggest pumpkin i think i've ever seen!

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, ashseaver, jenniferj, penelopegarcia and 100 others

ynreid happy spooktober my dear children

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drsreid queen of pumpkin carving!

ynreid drsreid says the king of pumpkin carving!

emilyprentiss you carved that yourself? wow y.n, that's amazing!

ynreid emilyprentiss yes i did, em! and thank you, it took me ages!

ashseaver happy halloween, y.n!

ynreid ashseaver happy halloween, ashley!

jenniferj that is so cool, y.n! henry and michael find it so cool too!

ynreid jenniferj thank you, jayje. and i'm so glad the boys find it cool too!

penelopegarcia woah, that is insane, y.n! could you teach me how to do that?!

ynreid penelopegarcia thank you pen! and of course i can!

liked by ynreid, ellegreenaway, aaronhotchner, emilyprentiss, davidrossi, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 80 others

drsreid throwback thursday to that one day in the office that our section chief brought in some puppies to work! i think they were in training to be therapy dogs, which makes a lot of sense looking back! but i do wonder and think about this lil guy every so often and hope he's doing good!

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ynreid oh i remember that day so clearly! literally one of the best days i've had working in the office during a day of paperwork!

drsreid ynreid thank god it was only a paperwork day otherwise i would have cried if we had been sent out on a case!

ellegreenaway omg i remember that day so clearly! i swear that dog loved you, spence!

aaronhotchner oh this was a great day at the office! last i heard, i actually think that dog passed his qualifications and is now a therapy dog in hospitals!

drsreid aaronhotchner that is amazing to hear! i think we should seriously get some therapy dogs for the fbi and bau!

aaronhotchner drsreid sounds like a very good idea, i'll look into it!

davidrossi omg you look so young, reid! now you've grown up to be an amazing man! oh and the dog is adorable as well

derekmorgan oh how could i forget this day! this was such a great day! so glad we didn't get called in for a case!

penelopegarcia i remember this day omg! we got to meet all the dogs that were in training to be therapy dogs!

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 80 others

ynreid firstly, i want to apologise to my husband, spencer because he didn't want me to post this but, my husband sleeps with a lil lion teddy when we're away from one another 🥹

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drsreid normally, i'd kill someone if they did this but because it's my wife posting this, i can't even think about being mad!

emilyprentiss oh isn't that just adorable, y.n!

aaronhotchner i think jack had a lion teddy similar to that when he was a little boy!

derekmorgan i'd usually make fun of pretty boy over a photo like this but i just can't do it. he looks so peaceful and calm!

penelopegarcia omg he looks so sweet and precious!

liked by ynreid, penelopegarcia, davidrossi, ablake, katecallahan, jenniferj and 40 others

drsreid wifey wanted to take a photo of me

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ynreid so you turned into a chipmunk spence like that makes any sense! and you're a genius as well!

penelopegarcia and it's posts like these that remind me why you and y.n are married, spencer!

davidrossi ahh, the famous chipmunk cheeks, never lost them have you, reid?

ablake am i the only one that finds this completely adorable?

drsreid ablake no, y.n and penelope do as well, you're not the only one alex!

katecallahan i did this all the time as a kid

jenniferj nice look spence

liked by drsreid, aaronhotchner, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 100 others

ynreid a kiss, for me?

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drsreid yes sweetheart, a kiss all for you and nobody else!

ynreid drsreid yayyy! love you baby

aaronhotchner glad you guys are having some good time off to relax

ynreid aaronhotchner we are hotch, thank you so much!

derekmorgan we used to do that all those years ago too 🥹

ynreid derekmorgan not anymore you do though

penelopegarcia cuties

ynreid penelopegarcia it's in our bau contract to be the cutest couple in the entire unit!

fin

this was so much fun and cutesy to write. especially when this new tumblr has started so sad and angsty! i think since i've only written for spencer, mgg as well as the bau team as a whole, i think this would be a great intro to writing for the rest of the team individually!

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

a little too late part two💔🫶

pairing : dr spencer reid x fem!reader , fem!reader x divorced!male reader & bau team x platonic!fem reader

summary : after he thought he waited too long, spencer never expected to see you on his front door step in the rain looking like a mess...

warnings : unrequited love turned into requited love? marriage problems, mentions of abuse, abusive husband's name is tyler 

a/n : this is the part two to the one-shot i just published but this idea is purely my own and was not taken from someone else. 

spencer thought he'd never see you again after nearly confessing to you at your wedding that he was in love with you.

 sure, he never actually got to say the words "y.n, i'm in love with you" but, it seemed as though it was obvious once you recognised the look in spencer's eyes. however, he never imagined after less than a month of you and your husband being married, that he'd open his front door on a cold, rainy day to see you cowering over yourself with red cheeks and mascara running down your cheeks. 

it seemed as though as soon as your wedding and honeymoon was over, your husband's true colours really showed who he was. and he was an abusive, intimidating and aggresive man who couldn't control himself most days which is why you were currently turning black and blue and crying off your mascara. however, this was the first time it had gotten this bad and violent. until now, he had never ever put his hands on you and the second he did, you booked it out of your house, running to your car that you left out on the side of the street and drove straight over to the first person you could think of...

which is why you, an FBI agent with their violent crimes unit, were standing in front of a moritified spencer right now in the pouring rain as you hugged yourself tighter, the rain pelting on you even harder as you continued to cry. 

"...oh my gosh, y.n, what are you doing here? are you okay? where's tyler?" spencer asked in worry as you shivered, shaking your head as tears covered your face 

seeing you struggle with your words, spencer didn't hesitate, one hand grabbed one of your hands and the other one wrapped around the back of you as he carefully guided you into his apartment, which you had been in many times before that you practically knew like the back of your hand, way more than you knew of your own house with your husband. wrapping you up in a warm towel that had coincidentally just came out of the dryer, spencer carefully sat you down on the couch and sat down on the floor in front of you, his hands resting on your knees as you started to calm down. 

"y.n, what happened? did something happen between you and tyler?" spencer was careful with the way he worded the sentence as you nodded your head

"mhm. he...he..." as you attempted to tell spencer what had happened, the trauma of it all hit you in the face again 

"...it's okay. you don't need to explain it to me straight away. because it doesn't matter right now. all that matters is that you are not safe at that house right now so you will be staying here with me for as long as you need to. i think i still have some clothes from when you first helped me move in here from years ago now. besides, your clothes are wet and whilst you do have a blanket on, staying in those wet clothes isn't going to help. i invited derek and his partner savannah and hotch over and they are about to arrive so, how about we wait for them and then savannah can help you in getting changed and if you want us to, hotch, derek and i can stop past your place to grab some extra clothes and things?" spencer offered as you smiled, appreciative of your childhood best friend and nodded your head 

"thank you spence. that would be very helpful. just, make sure when you do drop past mine that tyler isn't there. i don't want you, derek or aaron to be abused either. or derek beating him up..." you trailed off as spencer smiled and nodded his head as he pulled you closer to him 

"...i'll try to prevent derek and hotch beating up tyler and i doubt he's still home because i remember you telling me he always works in the evenings," spencer smiles as that shocked you even though it shouldn't anymore since he has an eidetic memory and remembers everything

"you remembered that?" you muttered softly as spencer smiled and nodded his head as he turned on the tv for you 

"of course i did. i have an eidetic memory, it's kind of my best quality. but, even if i didn't have it, i'd always remember everything about you," he smiled softly as the same foreign feeling you got at your wedding hit you in the stomach again 

"well, thank you spence. i appreciate it," you whispered as you focused your mind on the show that was playing on the tv as spencer smiled, leant forward and gave a small kiss to your forehead before he messaged for derek, savannah and hotch to see if they could arrive a bit quicker and that it was an emergency 

thankfully, it didn't take much longer for the three to arrive to spencer's place and straight away, they jumped into action at seeing the state you were in. without so much as a first introduction, savannah immediately took you upstairs to get you into some dry warm clothes. placing the wet ones into the dryer whilst she wrapped you back up into the blanket as the two of you came back down the stairs to see the three FBI men only just stepping out of the front door to drop past your place. 

it was during this time, when the men were grabbing a bunch of stuff from your place that savannah spoke up. 

"...y.n, you do realise why spencer's doing this right? why he's helping you?" savannah was already a sweet girl that you couldn't help but already love as you nodded your head, wrapping the blanket around you slightly tighter 

"of course i do, savannah, he's always helped me with everything! he's my best friend and has been since we were kids..." you trailed off, kind of worried about where savannah's thoughts were heading with this conversation 

"...i know he has but, don't you remember what happened at your wedding? what he was about to confess to you when you two danced together?" savannah trailed off, not wanting to sound completely ignorant when you remembered you had already met savannah before today

"i do, savannah. i think about that moment all the time and to be honest, i felt those butterflies the entire time. i didn't realise that maybe, spencer could have saved my life before it even happened yet, tyler was too quick in grabbing me back for another dance before spencer got to tell me..." you trailed off with a sigh as savannah felt bad as she hugged her newest best friend 

"...but, you escaped, y.n! surely you're not going to return back to tyler after that, are you?" savannah wondered, just hoping that her friend wouldn't go back to her abuser as you smirked and shook your head 

"absolutely not, savannah! and i'm sure spencer, derek and aaron are going to make sure that i never go back to him. especially because this wasn't the first time it's happened but the first time he raised his hand at me and i said never again so i drove over here in the rain since i didn't know where else to go and spencer didn't hesitate..." you trailed off as savannah smiled, tilting her head as she blurted it out 

"...because he's head over heels in love with you, y.n. he's the one for you, not tyler. spencer will never ever lay a hand on you nor would he even think to raise his voice at you. sure, he's helping you because he's always done that but, he's also doing it because he loves you and wants you to know that he'll always assist you in your time of need... as insensitive as it sounds, he's doing it because he truly loves you. didn't he tell you that after he left your wedding that he cried the whole drive home?" savannah's voice softened at the end as she whispered as you were suddenly in shock - spencer cried too? 

"spencer cried too? i thought it was just me that was devastated that he left..." you whispered back as savannah shook her head 

"...no love, spencer was devastated. he...he was worst than devastated actually, he was inconsolable, he only stopped crying once he fell asleep but, even then i swore i could hear him crying in his sleep. you need to divorce tyler, report him for domestic violence and then move on with spencer, the man who you were always meant to be with...i think that's why your parents refused to be kind to tyler. i truly think they saw the truth before you did and just couldn't tell you in time," savannah whispered as the girls suddenly heard car doors slam shut 

derek, aaron and spencer had returned home from you and tyler's house with at least five bags of stuff they had returned back with for you. that obviously made you and savannah feel better and made you realise that she was right and that feeling you felt on your wedding day wasn't a fluke or just wedding nerves. it was love. it was you re-falling in love with your childhood best friend. so, that was when you decided to jump up from the couch and rush over to spencer. obviously not expecting it, it completely shocked spencer when you pulled him close to you by his shirt collar and kissed him passionately on the lips whilst still being technicially married to tyler. 

however, it wasn't until savannah cleared up the obvious confusion. 

"...she's divorcing tyler and reporting him to the police for domestic violence..." 

fin

ok, that was lowkey a very vague ending but i'm pretty sure you can tell where the rest of the story would have ended up being. so, i decided to cut it short so, yeah. 

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

a little too late💔

pairing : dr spencer reid x unrequited lover fem!reader & bau team x platonic!fem reader

summary : on your wedding day, your childhood best friend dr spencer reid waited a little too late to tell you he was in love with you...

warnings : unrequited love, wedding, tears, waiting too late 

a/n : this was not originally written by me so credit goes to its original owner but this is my version of it. 

it's the biggest day of your life. you're finally getting married to the love of your life. 

the one who loved you for you. who loved every inch and part of you. who shared many memories with you. the one whom you were sure to spend the rest of your life with. 

you and your partner have finally exchanged your vows and rings. the night was still young and the now-married couple was about to share their first dance of the evening. your partner takes your hand ever so delicately and guides you to the dance floor. suddenly "slipping through my fingers" by abba starts playing. your now-husband holds you gently in his arms as you sway left and right, smiling at one another. you peak over your husband's shoulder to only find your best friend making his way to the dance floor as he sings the first verse. 

"schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..." 

your eyes grew wide. you weren't expecting your childhood friend, spencer reid to show up so suddenly at your wedding. you hadn't seen him in a while because he was busy at work as an FBI agent with their behavourial analysis unit. you had also worked there, hence why you had invited him and the rest of the team, leaving because you moved to a different unit, where in which you had met your now-husband. but of course, he was the one who had to let you know that he wouldn't be able to show up on your big day. spencer flashes a smile at you as you feel tears starting to form in your eyes. you missed him like crazy and you were so happy to see him. spencer walks up to the stage whilst the band continued to sing their tribute to abba with slipping through my fingers.

you and your husband keep on dancing as the guests watch you both dance the night away. your husband was having a good time, knowing that he's now going to spend his whole life with you. he couldn't stop smiling at you and you would smile back at him. you both turned your attention to the stage and watched the band sing. the song was slowly reaching an end and the lead singer sang his verse...

"slipping through my fingers all the time, schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning. waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..."

you and spencer locked eyes and as he mouthed the verse, you could've felt something erupting inside of you. he lowered his gaze and let the band continue the song till the end. the song finally came to an end and the guests cheered and applauded for the tribute abba band. the band politely thanked the crowd and slowly the other couples gathered on the dance floor to slow dance with their lovers. you continued to dance with your man, ignoring this foreign feeling you were feeling inside of you. the look spencer gave you felt familiar but you thought it was wrong to think about it when you were dancing with your husband. 

"may i share this dance with y.n?" 

you turn around to find spencer, standing with his right hand out, waiting for your husband to let you dance with your best friend. your partner nods and smiles as he pats spencer's back. he hands your hand to spencer and goes to share a dance with his mother. you're now all alone with spencer as he held you close to him. you breathe in his familiar scent as you gently close your eyes. you definitely missed this smell of his. the smell of spices, with notes of vanilla, amber and cinnamon the main three you always smelt the most. you lift your head to look at him, and he was already staring down at you. an innocent blush crept down on your cheeks. 

"missed me?" he asked with his voice hoarse from his wonderful singing. oh, how you missed the sound of his voice too. 

you nodded and smiled at him. "i'm glad you and the team were able to make it in time. thank you spence." 

he spun you around and held you tightly enough. you laid your head on his chest, feeling a huge wave of comfort washing over you. something you've never felt but definitely craved for it. you felt secure in his arms. he calmly hummed to the classical music playing in the back as he rested his chin on top of your head, careful to not ruin your wedding hairstyle. you closed your eyes and could hear his heartbeat. you realised how your heartbeat matched his and you found yourself smiling. this foreign feeling you felt earlier came back and you only felt butterflies going sideways inside of you. you looked up to him once again and you both stared at one another's eyes for what felt like hours. his eyes looked like they wanted to tell you something but you couldn't figure out what. 

spencer spoke up, breaking the silence lingering between you. "y.n, i have something to tell y-" 

was the only thing he was able to say before your husband came, asking spencer if he could have you back so he could share one more dance with you. as always, spencer smiled politely and handed your hand to your partner. your eyes followed spencer's and you found yourself in your man's arm as you watched your childhood best friend slowly walking away. 

"-you okay there, love?" your husband asked as you rested your chin on his shoulder, staring at your almost gone best friend. 

you nodded silently as tears rolled down your cheeks. you tried to not make a sound as your heart broke in many pieces. spencer was long gone from your vision and you felt loneliness creeping in. you didn't feel safe in your man's arms just like how you felt in spencer's. you knew it was too late for being honest about how you truly felt about him...

all these years, you've ignored your feelings for spencer because you knew he wanted something else in life which was to stay with the behavioural analysis unit for a while longer, especially due to the no-fraternization rule within the unit, meaning you guys wouldn't have been able to date anyway. which was also part of the reason why you moved from the bau to the violent crimes unit. you knew he'd be busy with his life at the bau and that both of you wouldn't work out as a couple. that's why you looked elsewhere and found your now husband at the violent crimes unit. 

on the other hand, spencer loved you to the moon and back but he knew it was already too late for him to confess his true feelings. he had to let you go because his happiness was yours. he knew you were happy with the life you were about to live as a newly wedded woman. he wish things turned out different so you could've been his and not a stranger's. he thought telling you how he felt on your wedding day would've been perfect but he didn't want to be a home wrecker so he knew better. as he walked out of the venue, his heart broke in a million of pieces as he cried uncontrollably. he got into his car and drove off, somewhere far where he knew he won't see you ever again...

fin

don't worry, there will be a part two where you and spencer see each other again and things change dramatically!

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

(not exactly) hysterical 💔

pairing : dr spencer reid x bau!fem reader

summary : "you could've just stopped laughing at me!" agent gianna dicarso mispronounced a word during a profile delivery at the local police station.

warnings : the humiliation of a female fbi agent, a pinch of bullying due to laughing at said female fbi agent, ableism, tears

a/n :  i just thought this would be less heavy and depressing but still an important reminder that humiliation and bullying are not okay, and it still can happen in very important establishments like the fbi and government-issued jobs like the police force.

she had never felt so embarrassed in her entire career as an FBI agent for the behavioural analysis unit. she was delivering her part of the profile to the nebraskan police department when she mispronounced and continued struggling with pronouncing a word correctly.

important in noting that because this was a case involving children, it meant this case was time-sensitive which meant that agent gianna dicarso and her team were trying to hurriedly give out their profile with as least amount of time possible. however, as soon as gianna struggled with pronouncing a word, the bullpen began to roar with laughter and time began to slow down.

the worst part about the laughter wasn't the nebraskan police department laughing, it was the fact the majority of her own team was also laughing. everyone except for dr spencer reid, aaron hotchner and david rossi, the latter two helping their technical analyst penelope garcia. spencer could tell that this situation was upsetting her and making her deeply embarrassed and all the laughter wasn't helping her feel better at all.

even if the laughter, especially her own team's laughter wasn't intended to be taken as them making fun of her, spencer could still tell that they were unintentionally humiliating her as well as NPD's intention of humiliating her.  

so, spencer decided to shut them all up, "okay enough, do we want this case to be solved or do we want us to find our victims dead? don't forget that we're talking about two kids that were snatched from their homes, so shut it, okay?" spencer's voice had never been so loud or authoritative before

"agent dicarso is going to continue the profile without all of your childish gigglings and snickering and we are all going to listen, alright? come on, we're law enforcement officers, not kids in elementary school!" everyone's mouth shut at spencer's order as gianna continued

smiling at her boyfriend, gianna continued with the profile. this time purposefully skipping over the word she struggled in pronouncing and finished the profile without any other giggles or interruptions. the way she should have been from the beginning.

by the time the profile had finally been delivered, every single officer in the NPD and BAU had been given a job. due to it being a time-sensitive case, no one wasted time in making sure that the job they had been given was completed as quickly as possible and correctly. one of spencer and gianna's job was victimology which could be done alongside garcia in the comfort of NPD's bullpen which is what they did.

but, it was obvious. what happened during the profile briefing was still bothering spencer's girlfriend, "...gia, you okay?" spencer asked softly, even though he knew the answer, he still thought to ask

"yeah, i'm fine. just...i just wish they'd all stop laughing at me..." the young agent trailed off, never thinking that her own team would laugh at her over something that she's suffered with regularly since childhood 

it was even in her own record that gianna used to have a stutter and whilst it was majorly gone, it still did come back once in a while, this was, unfortunately, one of those moments and, it was humiliating for her that she was being laughed at. she could take being laughed at by the nebraskan police department because it was very well-known from the beginning that a lot of their police officers were rude, sexist and ableist like that and, all the agents were expecting that when jj put them on this case.

however, what gianna wasn't expecting was her own team laughing at her over something that they used to always call out other police departments if they made fun and now, they were also the ones making fun of their fellow agent and best friend. 

"...i know gia, and i am so sorry that they were laughing at you. that's not fair and it's not okay. they of all people should know not to laugh at you. yes, so what if you struggled in pronouncing a word, they should have helped you the moment you started to stumble over it and i am sorry that i didn't help," spencer was still mad, just like gianna was still humiliated but, it made her smile in knowing that her boyfriend was still just as mad as he was earlier on 

"don't apologise, spence, just hearing you tell them off like a school teacher tells off their students made me feel heaps better. it was kind of funny actually seeing how they stopped laughing as soon as they saw your face change and the way you came out with that "enough". next time, i'll start laughing when officer warne messes up a word or trips over a sentence, see how he likes it, the piece of shit!" gianna mumbled at the end as she giggled which shocked spencer which didn't last long as he also started to laugh as well as they then went back to working on the geographical profile 

by the time the rest of the team had returned, the moment they saw spencer and gianna build up the geographical profile and clearly excelling at it, they felt awful for the way they just laughed at their fellow agent as she struggled to pronounce just a simple word. one simple word that any of them could have helped her in pronouncing instead of completely humiliating her in front of an already judgemental and ableist police department a whole two hours and forty-two-minute flight away from quantico.

but, no one apologised since it wasn't the right moment to do so, the geographical profile had quickly been finished and made up as had every other job that could help them catch their unsub faster and everything had to happen as quickly as possible so they just didn't take the time when in truthfulness, they did have the smallest slither of time to apologise right now. 

instead, hotch, who was still unaware of the tensions within his team, just divided the team into the pairs they were already in and sent them off to see if any of the pairs were fast enough to catch the unsub and save the two children from their potential looming death. so, when it was figured out that agents reid and dicarso were the closest and fastest in their FBI issued SUV's in arriving at the house that the unsub had held the victims hostage in, the NPD and BAU really saw how good and amazing, agent dicarso was. even though she struggled sometimes with her stutter and the pronunciation of certain words and scientific terms. because, the moment reid and dicarso stormed the house, the rest of the BAU and NPD wasn't that far behind. they all watched the way the two young agents communicated with each other and how they decided who was going where. as though it was a masterclass for the two law enforcement units. 

"...brock stanford, this is the FBI!" dicarso yells out, her foot kicking in the door as other NPD officers fall in behind her, just watching the agent do her job, in wait in case their reinforcement was needed 

spencer had come in from the side entrance, letting gianna know that the top level of the house was clear, "the top level's clear, dicarso, check the living room!" so, spencer let his girlfriend take charge and be the person to finish the job by preventing the entire situation ending in a suicide-by-cop and rescuing the kids in the very end 

dicarso smiled, thanking her boyfriend for the tip because he was right. brock stanford and the two children, brother and sister, ivory and samuel fields were in the living room, stanford standing as he held ivory by her throat whilst sam, barely harmed other than some bruising to his face and arms, helplessly watched his younger sister be choked by who the two kids trusted as a family member, their own uncle on their mom's side of the family.

lowering her gun into her holster so as to not frighten the 12 and 13-year-old, she successfully got stanford to surrender, preventing him from blowing out the brains of his 12-year-old niece whilst sam had since run off to spencer, who checked out the 13-year-olds minor injuries. whilst they had saved samuel, gianna still needed to stop stanford from choking his niece to death now that his gun had been taken away and disarmed as she holstered it on her belt. so, she decided to mention something that she had only mentioned in passing to spencer and in full detail to her unit chief, aaron hotchner to brock and what was also a secret about the unsub himself as to why he wanted to choke his niece to death if he couldn't shoot her. that very thing being the key that led dicarso to finding out it was brock stanford as their unsub. 

breathing in and out, gianna spoke up, "brock, this isn't the way to go. i know what happened to you as a kid and i am so sorry that your uncle took advantage of you whilst your older sister watched helplessly, not able to even stop it. but why does that mean you need to do the same thing to your own niece and nephew?" gianna questioned, brock unable to react as his eyes bugged out in fear

"please, brock, let ivory go, can't you see that she's turning purple? you are preventing her from breathing, can't you see that you're going to kill her from asphyxiation if you don't release that pressure?" gianna's voice was soft and empathetic, just like a mother would be to her child as everyone watched on with their guns at the ready from nearly every angle of the stanford home, all aimed at brock 

brock then whimpered and faltering, he really didn't want to hurt nor kill his niece, his sweet little ivory, he didn't even know why he was holding his own sister's children hostage. he was just in pain and had been the whole time these crimes had taken place and unfortunately, his niece and nephew were now in the wrong place at the wrong time.

so, he lessened his grip but was still holding ivory in what was a less extreme version of the chokehold so she could at least breathe as gianna nodded her head and breathed out a breath of relief, at least the little girl wasn't going to die anymore. 

she then smiled again, readying herself to tell a piece of her that, in all honesty, she wasn't even ready to talk about yet but, did so anyway because it may just be the thing that snaps brock out of it and saves the little girl from losing her life, "brock, do you wanna know something that i've never actually told anyone except for maybe one other person in full?" again, gianna's tone was soft and empathetic and mom-like as she watched how brock's entire body language and facial expressions changed 

he nodded his head and a small "mhm" came out of his mouth as he spoke up again, "what is it?" he questioned as his body softened, slowly starting to relieve more and more pressure off of his niece's neck, the purple and blue colour fading away back to her original tanned skin tone

"when i was around the ages of sam and ivory, i had a family member similar to you...actually, she was exactly identical to you, brock. she was a very troubled lady, growing up in an abusive and broken home, constantly having to go from foster home to foster home until she was eighteen. she never knew what it felt like to grow up in a home that was healthy and loving so, anytime she was over visiting my family, she always took a liking to someone and that someone in the family was me, her niece. and, do you know what she did every single time she would come over?" gianna questions as brock shook his head

the scared look gianna saw etched in little ivory's face mirrored the same exact look of fear that 12-year-old gianna shared. all those years ago when the BAU agent went through the same thing.

brock shook his head timidly, wondering what gianna's aunty did to her every time the elder would come over, "what...what did she do?" he asked softly as once again, he released more of his grip on his niece as gianna wasted no time in saying it 

and, it shocked the other BAU and NPD agents, "i would be choked and abused the same way you were as a kid, brock and in the same way you're choking ivory right now. i'd be screaming, crying, kicking left and right just trying to escape my aunt's grip but, i couldn't because i was never strong enough. she always outweighed me in strength until i became a teenager and started learning self-defence."

"my screaming was never loud enough because she would cover it with either her hand or a cloth, leaving my screams muffled every single time. and every single time my parents or siblings asked what was going on, my aunt always said that i was having a tantrum and refusing to listen to my aunty and, because they had to, they always believed her until one day, i forced them to believe otherwise when my aunty accidentally went too far this particular day and nearly killed me..."

"...just like you would have killed ivory if i hadn't convinced you otherwise and let her go because, in all truthfulness, you never actually wanted to hurt anyone, let alone your own blood. you're not a sadist, you're not a serial killer, brock, you are a victim of the worst kind of humans in this world, but do not let that trauma turn you into the same things that your uncle and my aunty were."

"you were just a kid, weren't you? just a little, small, defenceless boy who didn't know any different but to comply with your uncle's wishes. and, i didn't deserve it either, i didn't deserve to be violated or almost choked to death. but, the most important thing is, ivory and sam don't deserve to go through that either. you need help, brock, that's what you need, you don't need imprisonment because that's what your uncle needs..."

"...brock, what you need is therapy and justice for everything that was done to you as a kid by your uncle and your parents for being so negligent in realising what they were unintentionally hiding. so, please brock, i'll ask you one last time, let go of ivory because you don't really want to hurt her and you want to be the start in breaking generational trauma..." gianna trailed off as brock gasped out a sob, his release on ivory faltering straight away and the little girl wept as she immediately ran over to gianna 

picking her up straight away, gianna held her tightly, her middle captured by the small legs of the 12-year-old girl who cried loudly. her painful and frightened sobs into the crook of the neck of the agent who undoubtedly saved her and her brother's lives. 

morgan had then stepped forward to arrest brock whilst spencer and gianna consoled the very obviously traumatised sam and ivory the agents hushing their pained sobs and hugging them tightly. both of the agents promising the kids that they weren't going to let them go until they were safely reunited with their mom and dad at the police station.

but, that didn't seem comforting to either child, but most especially to ivory, because to that little girl, how could she trust her own parents if they weren't doing anything to prevent their brother and brother-in-law from abusing their own daughter and subjecting their son.

making him watch it all and be forced to be potentially influenced by it in the same way their uncle brock was. and, spencer and gianna agreed with ivory's distrust of the kids' parents. it made them worry whether or not their parents did actually know what was going on and if they were hiding it to protect brock or if they were seriously unaware of what brock had been doing to their kids. 

🚨

three hours later and with ivory and sam now fast asleep in hotch's office back in quantico, virigina, the team could all rest easy knowing that not only did they save two kids but also their unsub with checking him into a mental hospital rather than a jail cell.

the two youngest agents, reid and dicarso became foster parents to the two kids. it had been unearthed by gianna's own mini-investigation into the parents of ivory and sam with penelope garcia's help that they had known about this entire ordeal and had been helping brock, without the poor guy even knowing.

helping brock by not informing any of the police officers or BAU agents when questioned on the topic. this in turn made the judge helping in on the case deem mr and mrs fields unfit to have legal custody over ivory and sam, the legal custody was temporarily given to spencer and gianna until the two could either permanently adopt them or have someone else adopt them. but, right now, these two kids were just glad to be away from the horror of their biological family, feeling a lot safer in the office of the man who was the unit chief of their foster and hopefully future adoptive parents, dr spencer reid and gianna dicarso. 

gianna also still hadn't talked to the rest of her team (excluding hotch, rossi and garcia), spencer periodically listening in whilst keeping an eye on the two children. making sure they were staying asleep or comfort them if something had woken them up in a fright.

gianna still struggled to make peace with her team and the thought that they would always defend her against other rude and ableist police departments when they instead ended up turning on her and started to join in on the laughter. 

she didn't even want to look at the rest of her team until she was forced to when emily confidently walked over to her, "...please go away em, i don't want to talk to any of you right now," gianna breathed out so she wouldn't yell at one of her best friends who sighed back 

"and, that's okay, you don't have to but, can you just listen whilst i talk and explain my side of the story?" emily could very easily sway the young agent and it was a great trick for prentiss to have when the young girl was mad

however, always believing in the philosphy that every story has two sides to it, gianna nodded her head and, emily started to explain her side of the story.

"gianna, i know why you're mad and, quite honestly, you have the right to be mad. what happened in that room back in nebraska during that profile debrief was unacceptable and it shouldn't have continued for as long as it did. none of us in this team should have allowed it to continue. and we should know better more than anyone else to laugh at one of our own. we all know that it's not okay to laugh at someone's disability or a struggle they have that cannot be controlled..." emily trailed off, worried that gianna wasn't listening but she contined anyway

"...you should have been met with love, care and assistance during that moment but what you got back was unacceptable. we used your disability against you and threw it back in your face by joining in the laughter of an already ableist and sexist police department. and quite frankly, i don't even know why we joined in, because the situation wasn't funny at all and i have no idea why i was even laughing..."

"...i...i can't explain why and i don't know what else to say except that i am so sorry. but even then, that would never be enough to explain properly at how disgusted i feel with myself and the rest of the team by thinking it was hilarious that you couldn't pronounce a silly stupid word. if only there was anything other than sorry i'd say it but i..."

"...em...emily, please, calm down. i forgive you, i really do. my anger isn't even directed at you, not really. it wasn't your actions that had me humiliated and upset. it was the way derek giggled and didn't do anything to stop the NPD when it had always been him that refused to let anything like this to happenn to me. it was always derek because he never let spencer do it, knowing that spencer would cause WWIII if it was up to him..." gianna's voice shook as she got upset all over again

"...derek would always beat spencer when people would laugh at me when i'd stutter so the fact that today it was spencer that had to tell everyone off, not just the police department but also our family to not laugh at me...that was what made me so humiliated and upset. in my whole career with the BAU, i've never felt more humiliated in my life..." gianna sniffled, her eyes watering as emily pulled her in for a hug when emily then noticed derek, jj and ashley seaver who was in her last few weeks with the team

it was those three that laughed the most at gianna. like mentioned, emily didn't actually laugh at all, gianna noticed that the raven-haired girl became uncomfortable during the profile debrief. all the older agent could do was just awkwardly laugh. but still, it really spoke to emily's judgement with how bad she felt for awkwardly laughing due to not knowing how to react.

and rightfully pissed off, emily broke the hug and gestured to gianna to look behind her. and exactly like emily was, gianna was almost on fire in anger to see derek, jj and ashley all of a sudden apologetic for their enagement in the humiliation of one of their own.

with another look to hotch's office, where rossi and spencer stood, it had always become clear to both emily and gianna that hotch had been told. and because of that, had conversations with derek, jj and ashley.

looking back over, derek was about to open his mouth to apologise when gianna stopped him immediately, "...you could've just stopped laughing at me!"

everyone watching as the usually level-headed agent ran off, her hands covering her face as they all heard the girl run into an office. the office that used to be jason gideon's, the door barely slamming shut behind her.

and it was true, they could have just stopped laughing at her.

fin

ok, i have to admit that i really do love this fic. workplace bullying is a real-life thing that happens and i think this was a perfect example of it. showing that bullying doesn't just happen in schools to children. it also happens to full-grown adults that have well-established important jobs, like law enforcement.

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

i'll look after you💔

pairing : dr spencer reid x bau!fem reader

summary : two years after the death of spencer's dad, he has to watch his mom get killed by an unsub

warnings : spencer crying, major character death, his girlfriend consoling him but, other than that, just the regular cm warnings

a/n : and yes, i'm writing out all the sad fics now so they are mostly out of the way cause you can't get happiness without saddness right?

falling to the floor, spencer wept as his girlfriend and fellow agent ellianna johnston consoled him. his mom diana had just been murdered in front of him, his dad william dying two years prior. not that spencer cared, he hadn't seen his dad since the riley jenkins case so it wasn't much of a loss in his eyes. but, losing his mom was like his whole world collapsed around him, taking him down with it.

throughout spencer's entire life, it had always been him and his mom after his dad left them that was until it was him, his mom and the behavioural analysis unit in qauntico. sure, his mom was institutionalised but, it was only because he had no other choice because, he was eighteen and, at the time, he was doing what he thought was the smartest idea. because it was supposed to help make her better. he never would've imagined that he'd have to watch the murder of his own mom right in front of his own eyes alongside the rest of his team during a case that wasn't even originally connected to his mother, that was until it was when ellianna made the connection as to who the unsub was. 

two hours earlier 

this case couldn't have been any worse than any other case the BAU had ever done before. they were in portland, oregon trying to solve a case, their unsub would kidnap his victims and then would kill them with poison and then, shoot them after the fact. however, what had thrown the team off was still trying to figure out why the unsub was shooting them after poisoning them.

what was the need for such overkill when this unsub had only just restarted their crimes up a month ago? they had only profiled the unsub to be around their early to mid-twenties in age and possibly a white male. but even then they had absolutely no idea if it was a man or a women or how old they even were. 

ellianna, irritated, threw down a case file, "jayje, i can't find anything on this unsub, let alone if it's actually a man or if it's a woman, can you?" the young agent grumbled as jj shook her head, also throwing hers down onto the table 

"nada, rossi?" jj sighed, looking over to their senior supervisory special agent who also shook his head 

"zilch, prentiss?" rossi sighed as prentiss was seconds from responding, also shaking her head

spencer and aaron hotchner walking in and noticed their girlfriend and agent, ellianna suddenly staring at a file that everyone had seemingly missed earlier. 

hotch eyed the young agent before speaking up, "you alright, johnston?" hotch questioned as he held another pile of files given to him from the portland police bureau as spencer placed muffins and coffees across the table for the team as ellianna nodded her head 

"uh...yeah, i'm fine hotch, just, this case file, this one's new. it wasn't a file we were originally given by portland when they first gave us all their initial files to the case!" ellianna stuttered out before she then picked it up, quickly flicking through it before stopping 

her eyes widened as she saw one specific name in the file and it quickly caught the team's attention, "what is it, el? do we need to involve garcia?" spencer spoke up as ellianna shook her head before jumping out of her seat and running out of the bullpen of the portland police bureau 

eyes wide, the rest of the team followed after their youngest agent. following after her, they never imagined or expected to see her squared up to the head police sheriff of the portland police bureau.

"sheriff brooks, where did this file come from and why was it not given to us at the beginning with the rest of the case files?" ellianna demanded, after she quickly recognised the name in the file, sheriff brooks looking at the FBI agent in genuine confusion

"i...i'm sorry, agent johnston?" officer brooks questioned with confusion before ellianna softened slightly and opened the file to show her 

"sheriff brooks, this case file...my whole team and i haven't been able to get a lead let alone figure out whether this unsub is a man or a woman. but now, seeing this file, i think i've not figured it out and it lies in this file. everything we've needed from the beginning is in here but where did it come from? it was not one of your people that gave this case file to us so, please, where did it come from? is it one of your case files from this case or is it not?" ellianna requested as the sheriff was in shock when she read the name in the file

it had been years since she had seen that name or that case file. it was a case she genuinely thought had been put away into the archives years ago.

"it...it's a case file from a previously archived case. it was from a case that was solved years ago back in the late 90s, or so we thought had been solved..." brooks trailed off as ellianna let the sheriff continue

"...we had been told by washington police, who joined us for the case, that they hailed the case as solved. they had been informed that the unsub had...you know...killed himself so we just put the case file away into our archives after being ordered to by washington police..." hearing that had ellianna and the rest of BAU agents concerned

"...why are you asking, agent johnston? do you think this case file and archived case has something to do with this current case?" sheriff brooks questions at the worried looks as ellianna nods her head

"that's exactly what i think, sheriff. i don't think robert from this late 90s case just killed himself, he seems too proud of himself and has too much care for how everyone perceives him to even think about suicide being an option..." ellianna profiles as the sheriff just listens as does the rest of her team

"...he takes too much enjoyment in his crimes from what's written in his case file...but also when he isn't suffering from his illnesses he's quite empathetic and is aware of his crimes...the unsub has to be him. we need to find him and it has to be now. otherwise it won't just be the state of oregon that could be in potential risk. oregons surrounding states, washington, idaho, nevada and california could all potentially be in serious trouble, got it?" ellianna ordered the sheriff as she nodded her head, reminding hotch that he did a good job in allowing ellianna to take charge for this case

"find your communications liasion and with ours, jennifer jareau, the two of them will communicate and liaise with the other police departments in those neighbouring states and get as many alerts out as possible, got it?" ellianna ordered as jj and sheriff brooks nodded their heads and left

walking back over to the bullpen, sheriff brooks and jj walking in the opposite direction, she noticed how shocked everyone was. giggling, she slid the case file of a man named robert donahue onto the table.

"what? stop looking at me like that!" ellianna jokingly orders, confused at the stares from the rest of her team

"nothing at all. just, how the heck did you recognise the name in the case file so quickly? we were struggling for hours and then, suspiciously at the right time, you just find that case file and figure the whole thing out?" emily prentiss was gobsmacked as ellianna giggled, ringing up their tech analyst penelope garcia who was in quantico

silencing the rest of her team, hotch silently observing in the background, garcia responded to ellianna, "what do you need my little flower petal?" smiling at the nickname, ellianna went straight into the action, telling garcia the important information 

"garcia, i found a new case file in the middle of the ones we had been given by sheriff brooks and, it seems as though this was the missing link as it has given everything we needed because it sounds as though our unsub could be a man in his early to possible mid fifties by the name of robert dona..." 

"...robert donahue..." 

"...how...how did you know that garcia?" ellianna stuttered in shock as she looked at the rest of her equally as shocked team and garcia chuckled 

"washington and nevada police departments had faxed over a copy of the exact same file to me thanks to our lovely jj and the portland communications liasion. both departments in washington and nevada back in the 80s and 90s had this guy as a suspect during the massive kidnapping, poisoning and shooting spree during that time in the late 80s and early 90s throughout oregon and the neighbouring states, washington, idaho, nevada and california..."

"...on the back of the envelope, it's written that it is highly suggested that the unsub we're looking for in this current case is robert donahue, the unsub responsible for those crimes back in the eighties and nineties who was said to have "mysteriously" killed himself after that spree he went on..." garcia trailed off as ellianna scoffed, shaking her head as the rest of the team was shocked by this new revelation  

"...but, why wait this long to start back up again? why wait, what, two decades before coming back? why stage your own suicide to only then start the crimes back up again?" ellianna questioned as her team shook their heads, not knowing until garcia spoke back up

"because he has an inflated ego and has to know what everyone says about him. if he fakes his death, makes people believe the threat was gone, giving everyone a false sense of security he'd come back after a while and he'd...oh no..." garcia trails off as her eyes widen as she reads what's on her screen

"...what garcia? what's happened, talk to me?" ellianna stood up from her position from leaning on the table when garcia just pointed everyone's attention to the television in portland's bullpen 

"just...watch this...it was just sent in from the unsub himself...he clearly knows we're here..and he's clearly tech-savvy..." garcia's face turned away as she just pressed play when screams filtered through the bullpen of portland's police department, scaring the entire team and making them jump out of their skin 

the screams just weren't any person's screams, they were the screams of spencer's mom, diana reid. diana had been kidnapped to be the unsub's final victim, that was robert's end goal all along.

that was why ellianna had immediately recognized the man the moment she opened up that case file and showed sheriff brooks. robert was a former patient in one of diana's mental health facilities back in nevada after he had discharged himself from bennington sanitarium where they both resided in. 

"diana..." ellianna whispered, her hand covering her mouth and garcia speaks up again, filling the silence 

"...i found where they are and the address has been sent it all of your phones! i want all of you plus diana back safely, please!" garcia pleaded and the agents stood up without another beat to wait as they rushed out, everyone but spencer and ellianna 

spencer was frozen, it was as though he couldn't move, he genuinely thought his mom was safe in nevada, in bennington, robert donahue not ringing any sort of alarm bells or bells at all that he was the unsub let alone had any connection to his mom. ellianna knew she had to get her boyfriend to move quickly otherwise his mom would be dead and, that was anything but the outcome they wanted. although he wasn't cut up about his dad's death two years ago, he didn't need to be parentless at thirty years old. 

"come on spence, we have to go! we don't have a lot of time before you could potentially be faced with the dead and mutilated body of your mom! we need to hurry up!" ellianna's voice was unusually frightened but she didn't care, because she was truly frightened to find the potential dead body of her boyfriend's mother 

spencer then nodded his head and quickly got himself prepared for the fact that he was about to save the life of his own mother. 

one hour later 

it had taken almost an hour to figure out how to unlock the loft in which robert had kept diana in but, the moment they did get themselves in, it took a special sort of strength in the team for them to not outwardly react to the way in which robert donahue had brutally injured diana. it was clear she had been beaten black and blue, her face barely identifiable, she was dehydrated, it had looked as though she had been sexually assaulted by the way she couldn't lay comfortably. a few more bruises littered over her from being beaten most likely more than just the one time yet it didn't look as though robert had gotten to the stage of poisoning or shooting her, whether that was coming next or not, they had no idea. 

ellianna decided to take charge since she was the one most familiar with robert and his connection to diana, even more than spencer had and she spoke up, "...robert donahue, my name is ellianna johnston and i'm with the FBI's behavioural analysis unit, do you know what that is?" her voice unsure but filled with somewhat of strength as her team watched, robert groaning as he lay next to a beaten and unconscious diana reid 

the man refused to even look up at the agent, "no, why would i want to know?" he was vicious as ellianna took in another breath and she refused to point her gun at him but, she kept it close just in case she would need to use it 

"wouldn't you want to know why you're hurting someone you consider a close friend of yours?" she spoke softly which got robert's attention as he stood up from the ground to face the young agent 

"i...i beg your pardon, do you think i'm actually hurting diana? how dare you think that? she's just asleep because we've been out all day running errands!" robert found it extremely insulting that ellianna would even allud that robert would harm diana  

"yes, i...i do think you're hurting her robert. and do you want to know how i know that you're hurting her and that she isn't actually sleeping like you're trying so hard to make us believe she is?" ellianna raised her voice slightly as the rest of her team looked on in worry, spencer barely even able to look 

"mhm," the middle-aged man mumbled out as ellianna exhaled before she nodded her head and continued her profile

"if you look closely, whilst you can see that diana is still breathing, it's not in the same rhythmic pattern that it would be if she was asleep. the way that she is breathing though lets us know that she's struggling. she is finding it so hard to breathe properly that it's shallow and it's most likely causing her a great deal of pain. she is also completely face down, and her airways are being squashed which is also another reason why she's finding it so difficult to breathe and why it's so painful for her..." ellianna trailed off as robert continued listening, the rest of the team also listening

"...she's also been severely beaten and she's severely dehydrated and sexually assaulted due to the infected and inflamed bruises around her crotch area, near her genitals. you have seriously hurt diana, robert..." ellianna's voice softens as she tries to humanise the unsub

"...she is bleeding, robert. have you noticed that she's losing all this blood and nothing's been done to help her stop that bleeding? why did you hurt her robert, i thought diana was your friend. you don't hurt your friends." ellianna kept her voice soft as robert got defensive

this caused the young agent to reach and pull out her glock 26 just in case robert became physically defensive.

"i didn't hurt diana!" robert was clearly deranged and psychotic, his hands over his ears as he was clearly experiencing a psychotic break of some sort

ellianna stepping back and gestured for the team to also step back. all of them following her orders, hotch also following them even though he was still the unit chief, he had given permission for ellianna to take charge over the case.

taking one last breath, ellianna continued chatting to the unsub in an effort to de-escalate the situation, "you did hurt her, robert. whether it was something you were doing consciously or not, you have caused her serious harm. she needs medical attention and she needs it quick otherwise she's going to die robert, do you want diana to..."

before ellianna or her team could do anything else, robert removes his hands from his ears and grabs the gun from his back pocket, "...robert...wait...no!" ellianna shouted, the direction of the gun unknown by the agent as she had closed her eyes and turned her head the other way

the rest of the team also turning their heads away, only praying to whatever god that was left to believe in that it didn't hit anyone. much especially diana or one of them.

opening her eyes, ellianna realised she hadn't been shot but was confused as she was still covered in blood, all of it splattered onto her face and hands. but it wasn't her blood she was covered in, she knew that because there was no blood spraying out of her. she then noticed the two people that laid lifeless on the ground in front of her.

the blood that covered her was the blood that slowly flowed out of diana and robert's bodies...diana...diana was the one that got shot, not ellianna. once again, ellianna's profile on robert was wrong, because not only did he murder diana, he killed himself.

which completely scratched out the profile that robert had such a big ego that he wouldn't kill himself because of the fact he had too much care of what other people said about him even though that's what penelope also thought. if he commited suicide, he knew people would talk about him and say just how selfish he was. and he didn't like it when people called him selfish. but seeing this bloody scene in front of her, it made ellianna realise just how wrong she was about her and the team's profile about their unsub.

ellianna stood in shock, covered in blood as she lowered her gun, narrowly missing her holster, the gun almost slipping to the floor. gulping before she turned to hotch, nodding his head, allows her permission to get robert and diana's pulses to see if they were alive or not.

no one had to see ellianna's face to know whether or not both the unsub and diana were still alive. they all saw how ellianna's body faltered, her hand limply falling to diana's cheek as she stroked it softly. lifting her head up, she noticed that spencer, the son of diana, was now on his knees inconsolable.

present time

spencer had been silently crying for what had felt like hours now. it felt like his entire world had been stolen by that gunshot that took away the life of his beloved mother. he didn't want to be too loud, the entire state of oregon didn't need to know his wails were because of him losing his mom.

sitting next to her boyfriend, ellianna reassured the rest of their team that they could leave now that robert and diana had been removed from the crime scene. promising them, hotch specifically, that when spencer was ready, she'd make sure the both of them would leave the loft safely. the team left, even though they still didn't feel comfortable to and let hotch know that she and spencer would meet the rest of them on the jet later.

she then made her way back over to where spencer still sat on his kness, meters from the almost dried-up blood puddle that his mom died in next to robert. meeting her distraught boyfriend at his level, she cradled him and hugged him tightly. letting him know he didn't have to be quiet anymore. he could be as loud and ugly as he wanted. and he did.

"i've got you spence, i'm right here..." ellianna whispered over again as spencer wept, grieving the loss of his beloved mom

the one case that took spencer way too long to realise was connected to his mom was the one that ended her life and not the alzheimer's

"...i'll look after you..."

fin

have to admit, this isn't my favourite ending but every author on this app has to have at least a couple of these endings so it's only fair.

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared, i-i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" part two 💔🫶

pairing : criminal minds cast x cm cast!fem reader

summary : tiahni garcia, actress who plays SSA savannah o'keefe in criminal minds films her final ever episode for the final and 15th season of the show she grew up on.

warnings : death, blood, tears, angst, swearing, depressing - the usual criminal minds warnings

a/n : this is part two of the previous one-shot! the filming of the episode will be in italic lettering and everything else will be in normal font unless said otherwise.

tiahni's pov

if you had told me fourteen years ago i would be finishing my fifteen-year run on CBS' criminal minds, there would be no doubt in the world that i would be hysterically laughing in your face right now. i say that because i was 18 years old when i started the show in 2005 and i am now 33 years old and filming my last ever episode on criminal minds today with the rest of the remaining cast.

and, in all honesty, i find it absolutely insane to think that for fifteen years of my life, this has been the only thing that i've known since whilst i have done other projects, none of them had been as long as this one with criminal minds which has been all i've known. so, in that aspect, today was a very strange day and concept to think about. like, whilst i didn't want today to happen nor want it to end, i don't think i'm at the point of breaking down into tears over the fact that i'm actually leaving the show for good. 

i was already dressed and grabbed my very vanilla iced chiller when i looked at the clock, the time reading 10:00 am. i was needed in hair and makeup now that i had changed into my classic agent savannah o'keefe tight-fitted white blouse, dark blue dress pants and booties so i could complete the savannah look and have the classic curled hair that really turned me into the fbi agent. 

"good morning tiahni," joe mantegna, who plays agent david rossi, smiles as he walks over to me with his coffee in his hand as i still held my vanilla iced chiller

"good morning grandpa joe," i smiled as i picked up my speed, running over to him as he pulled me in for a cosy hug straight away, placing our drinks down on the table next to us 

"how are you feeling about today's filming schedule?" he pulled away with a soft smile, knowing what it was we were filming today as i nodded my head with a soft chuckle 

"yeah, i'm feeling good about it," i trailed off, zoning out for a moment and took as much of everything around me in as i could 

i then filled the silence by speaking up, "what about you? as we're all technically leaving since today's the last day of filming," i sighed as joe breathed in slowly and chuckled 

"it's bittersweet, that's for sure! i mean, it is a bit strange but, it's worth it, without a doubt," joe smiled as i nodded my head in agreement, taking another second just to let everything sink in as he placed a comforting hand on my back 

"yeah, for sure," i smiled as i placed my head against joe's shoulder which made him chuckle softly as he reciprocated the action before it was suddenly time for us to start filming 

🎬

now it was time for the moment that no one was ready for, the first and only death scene for the very last episode of criminal minds was being filmed tonight and it was savannah's death scene meaning that this scene was going to be tiahni's last ever scene i'll ever be filming for criminal minds. it was the moment in which no one in the cast and crew was ready to film because, in all honesty, they didn't want to say goodbye to one of the very few actors that had stayed the entire fifteen years.

even though it was the series finale and everyone was leaving, they were still having to farewell me because, as previously mentioned, my character was going to be the only one that didn't get to survive and make it out to the end of the series and get that happy ending like everyone else that made it to the end did. 

as the director called for action, the actors and actresses all got into our places and the camera started rolling. 

𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐡'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

i knew i needed to be careful, everyone in the fbi knew how careful you needed to be with unsubs or even the victims that the unsubs had held hostage, however, it seemed as if it hadn't crossed my mind at how desperate the child who was currently being hostage was to escape. 

"...agent o'keefe, are you okay? do you need any assistance?" supervisory special agent dr spencer reid, my boyfriend, questioned, his head turning over his shoulder since his back was turned away from me as i stood in front of the unsub, the poor kid was being used as a body shield

"ahh...no, i...i should be fine agent reid but, do see if you can get a clear shot and see if maybe prentiss and alvez can too!" i turned to smile at my brown-haired, nevadian boy genius boyfriend, feeling a surge of confidence that i could take down the unsub whilst also making sure the child stayed alive 

except when it came to the planning of my takedown, i wasn't as careful as i thought i was. 

i was quite well known to be very confident in my profiling skills and my fieldwork. i was told i was utterly outstanding in my marksmanship and was highly skilled, which was why me and dr spencer reid, made an excellent team since we are both skilled in the field and as profilers. not only were we dating each other, but we were also both child prodigies from las vegas, nevada and childhood best friends who joined the FBI academy together at the ripe young age of 22.

a special request from senior supervisory special agent jason gideon who at the time was the unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit. and this was because spencer and i were still too young to join the unit since the official age to join the FBI was at least 23 but younger than 37. however, sometimes, due to me being human, i would sometimes get blindsided which would cause me to miss my usual quick snap-of-the-finger reaction time. this time, my small misjudgement, and not being able to realise the unsub's intentions had huge consequences because i was not quick enough. 

"...cut!" glenn kershaw, our director of this final episode, called out as everyone released the breath they were holding too and i smiled as it only now started to become real that me and everyone else standing in front of me was leaving criminal minds 

"holy crap...this is getting so real now!" i turned to see matthew, my dr reid and he was obviously not excited about filming today knowing that the way my character was leaving in the one way that no one else wanted me to end my time on the show with - having only just missed out on a happy ending 

"i know, it is getting real matthew, it's kinda scary," i giggled softly, my hand out for matthew to grab a hold of, knowing the comfort it'd bring him would help him a lot 

a five-minute break was then granted before we started the next scene which was going to be savannah's actual death scene so, what glorious fun it's going to be to film. 

"action!"

𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐡'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

the unsub had a realisation of what was about to happen to her, now out of her psychosis she knew the people in her house were FBI agents. she then noticed one of them, me, unlike the rest, wasn't wearing their bulletproof vest, in a bid to be unsuspicious to the unsub. then, all of a sudden, the unsub brought her gun up ready to shoot me, the unsuspecting agent whose back was facing the unsub. communicating with my fellow agents luke alvez, emily prentiss, jennifer jareau and dr spencer reid.

the kid, how had now managed to grab the other gun that hadn't be declared by us but seized by the unsub, tried to shoot their captor who had been stepping ever so closer to me. only for my boyfriend spencer's loud warning that ended up alerting both the unsub and the child. this then caused the huge consequence that ended with me getting shot just below my chest.

the little boy, 8-year-old jasper had fired the gun, completely fearful and eyes closed. only hoping his aim was at the right person, his abductor. after another shot was fired, the person loudly falling to the floor, clutching the leg that had been shot, that was when the little boy opened his eyes as they widen, tears welling in his eyes as he realised it was he had shot in the chest and who spencer had shot in the leg.

jasper had accidentally shot me, the agent who had been trying to save him and talk down the unsub. spencer had shot marianna cunningham, the unsub who had been holding the boy hostage and moments from shooting me. spencer shooting marianna in the leg so as to not kill her but make it easier to arrest her and subdue her.

a gasp of air then came out of my mouth from the reverberation of the gunshot wound through my chest. the little boy wept having no clue who it was he had shot in his desperation of wanting to be rescue and found alive. the second i began to fell to the floor, spencer chucked his gun to the floor after shooting marianna. luke, jj and emily holstering their own as they also rushed over to spencer and i. only hoping they could save my life whilst a police officer had come to take little jasper to safety.

"savannah!" spencer yelled, his gun aimlessly falling to the floor as he dropped to his knees, grabbing me as i bled and softly adjusted me to his lap before i could even properly fall to the ground 

jj, emily and luke follow after spencer. all of them seprately calling out for medical assistance. the little boy finally taken by the police officer.

"agent is down, i repeat we have an agent that is injured. agent o'keefe. unsub is injured and has been removed. the child taken by the unsub has been found and removed safely. we need a medic!" luke and jj scream into their wires as emily and spencer try everything possible to stop me losing blood from my gunshot wound

i was fading pretty quickly as i struggled to catch my breath, my own blood starting to choke me as spencer didn't know what to do.

"what did you do, sav? what...what even happened? you turned away for just a second to talk to me...what..." spencer panicked, he wasn't thinking straight as he frantically tried to stop the bleeding

i struggled, trying my hardest to keep my eyes open. emily also starting to panic as she watched the all so familiar scene play out in front of her.

"...i...i didn't do my job correctly apparently, spence..." i responded, a small and cracked sounding laugh ecohed from my throat

i tried my best to stay positive, sarcastic and sassy. and maybe a pinch of stubbornness as spencer and emily continued in trying to help me.

"...don't you do this to me, sav. not right now! what did you do, what even happened? we were right there with you, tell us, we want to help you!" spencer grumbled out in distress, trying his best to remember protocol

he hated crying at the best of times but, whilst at work was the worst time to be vulnerable. angrily wiping away a falling tear with his shoulder, spencer and emily continued to press on my gunshot wound.

"oh, spence, i'm sorry, i was really just trying to be funny..." i trailed off after getting a death stare from spencer

"...but, if you really want to know what i was doing, i...i was trying to silently communicate with you without being too suspicious. i was clearly way over my head since it was clear the unsub took notice of my deception and tried to take me down for it. but...the little boy jasper...he...he must have been so scared and desperate to get out and he must of been trying to aim at marianna but..." taking a big breath in, which was getting harder for me, i continued

"...instead of aiming for marianna, with his eyes closed, he had no idea where i was from where marianna was standing. he must have confused the two of us. he hadn't meant to shoot me, spence, you know that. we all know that, you could tell he hadn't meant to shoot me. he was scared, spence, so scared that he just closed his eyes, turned his head away and pulled the trigger, only hoping it was in the right direction..." i was once again out of breath as spencer whimpered in fear, emily clenching her jaw

emily then speaking up, "he...he must have become frightened when you raised your voice spence when you noticed that marianna was about to shoot savannah...he never meant to shoot savannah at all..." emily almost gasped as she watched at the way spencer's face changed

"it...it was my fault...i did this...i'm the reason why jasper shot you..."

"...no, spence, we're not going to have this conversation! it was not your fault at all. i had taken off my bulletproof vest and unfortunately, the way jasper aimed the gun, no matter if i had the vest on or not, the place where he shot me, this still would have happened..." i refused to let spencer put the blame on him as spencer finally noticed that i did in fact not have my bulletproof vest on

"...savannah, why did you take your bulletproof vest off?" spencer whimpered, emily also coming to the sudden realisation no one else had picked up on

spencer and emily still trying their hardest to keep me from bleeding out to death in their lap. i smiled sheepishly at my boyfriend and best friend.

"i...i didn't want a distressed reaction from marianna after coming out of her psychotic break. if she saw the FBI logo, i knew how she'd react. she isn't intellectually challenged like we originally profiled her to be, she is a highly skilled and intelligent schizophrenic, just like your mom, spence..." hearing that last sentence, 'just like your mom' really hit a chord for spencer, he really hadn't recognised his own schizophrenic mother's symptoms in our unsub

"...it was clear that she had knowledge that law enforcement was coming for her, even in her psychotic break. and it was why i did what i did, i didn't want this exact sitation to happen so, in order to make her surrender calmly after coming out of her psychotic break, i made the decision to take off my bulletproof vest. just to see if i could talk her down myself and have her give us jasper without the excess use of anymore force or harm..." i shook my head, even that hurt me as i winced in pain, emily and spencer hiding their tears as they shook their heads and scoffed

"...you do realise how stupid that sounds right, o'keefe, especially for someone as skilled as you?" luke alvez then tearfully spoke up as i smiled 

"yeah, you think i didn't know that, mr smartarse!" i weakly clapped back as i went to start laughing only to start coughing up the blood that was starting to block my airways as the agents started to panic

emily and jj screaming for the medics again. why were they taking so long, there were supposed to be waiting just outside of the bloody building

"please don't laugh sav, it...it'll only make your pain worse..." spencer squeaked out as i nodded my head, trying my best to keep as calm as i could  

except, it didn't last for very long when we heard a bright but confused voice reverberate around the room. then we remembered who else in the team could have potentially had eyes and ears in this case since there was only one person who had the skills to hack into the unsub's live feed... penelope garcia, our technical analyst who had been there the entire time. 

"don't make who laugh, what will make what pain worse?" garcia's voice sounded with worry but her usual cheeriness as the agents all shared worried looks with each other 

"cut...one more break before we do this next scene without any more breaks!" glenn's voice rings out from behind the camera and almost straight away, everyone rests and i take in a deep breath and remembered that i was having all of my lasts and that thought was hurting more than the actual filming of my final scene

"how on god's green earth are you not crying your eyes out right now, tia?" matthew whines as he furiously wiped away the tears that welled in his eyes as i chuckled softly, giving him a hug 

i shrugged, "i don't really know, goob, maybe it just hasn't hit me as hard yet," i comforted matthew and hugged him as tightly as i could as for those who weren't aware, those who were pisces' are very emotional people and, can you guess what star sign matthew is? if you said pisces, ding ding, you are correct! 

"when do you think it'll hit you then, tia?" adam rodriguez, our resident luke alvez, questioned as he sat next to matthew and me making me giggle 

"honestly? most likely when the episode comes out and we watch it together?" i shrugged again as the two boys smiled, telling me that we'd for sure watch the episode together 

"yeah, that fits your personality alright, and of course, we'll watch it together, we always do!" adam smiled even though it was easy to tell it was a forced smile as he posed with his arms on his hips and his legs jutted out like a 12-year-old girl trying to act sassy

i chuckled softly, shaking my head but couldn't find the proper words to give adam a good enough explanation 

then, the cast all took a moment to look at each other, all of us reminding ourselves of the fact that this was indeed our last 5-minute break between scenes with my character alive. matthew and aj, the two emotional ones, sniffled quietly as we then moved to our places. taking in one last deep breath, i realised how unsure i was about how i was going to deal with this. 

"action!"

𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐡'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

emily gulped but spoke up, "garcia...how...how long have you been watching through this live feed?" emily's voice was steady but fearful as she awaited penelope's response

penelope shouldn't have to watch via video call the brutal death of one of her very best friends by the underage kid who had accidentally misfired. only hoping that he was shooting his abductor, not the people who were trying to save him 

"after it was confirmed that the little boy was saved and that marianna had been injured on the scene, why? is everyone okay, did all of my crime fighters make it out alright and alive?" penelope questioned, just praying on whatever god she still believed in that all of her furry crime-fighter friends survived another case and unsub takedown 

"umm...how...how many gunshots did you say you heard, penelope?" luke then questioned as he turned around to look at spencer and i, closing his eyes briefly before turning back, his face returning to emotionless and stoic 

"one...why? is there something i haven't been told, alvez?" penelope's voice raised slightly, her jokingly disappointed voice making an appearance as luke visibly gulped, slyly nodding his head when penelope saw the ever-so sly nod and her facial expressions immediately changed 

"umm... maybe there..." 

"...penelope, there were two gunshots heard. one hit and injured marianna, delivered by spence and the other...the other one hit savannah, delivered by jasper. the little boy that was marianna's last victim that we managed to save without any fatal injuries. he...the little boy wasn't trying to shoot her, he...he was...he had his eyes closed and his head turning away only hoping that he was aiming for marianna but instead he misfired and shot savannah..." emily shakily explained as penelope felt like she was choking as she spoke up 

"...is...is savannah okay? like is...is she still alive, emily?" penelope dared to ask, her voice fearful but filled with some of her selfish hope that once again, i would remain indestructible just like i always was to penelope and the rest of the team 

"pen...she...savannah hadn't gone in with her bulletproof vest, she was struck just underneath her chest. spencer has her bleeding out in his lap, we...we're not sure where our medics are and we...we aren't really confident in savannah having a good enough chance for survival if the medics don't show up in the next three or five minutes. please, pen, contact or wire us through to tara, dave and matthew, we need as much help as we can get!" emily, who wasn't mentioned earlier but is now the unit chief of the bau, was panicking as spencer, her and luke desperately tried to get my blood loss under control 

whilst those three were doing that, jj was running around like a headless chicken trying to contact and find those goddamn medics and see if she could see them coming. 

"pen...penelope, are...are you still there?" my voice was the quietest and weakest it had ever sounded, so quiet however everyone could still hear it, penelope included as their hearts shattered 

"yes baby cakes, i'm still here, i'm not leaving," penelope spoke up sweetly as tara and matthew barged into the abandoned school gym marianna had been keeping her victims in 

emily then reported back to penelope that tara and matthew had arrived and rossi was helping jj figure out where those damned medics were. 

"spence...spence?" i whimpered out, trying to lift my head up as spencer's tear-filled eyes made contact with my dying ones 

"yes, love?" spencer whimpered out, his breath shaky as i took in a sharp breath before continuing 

"where...where's dave and...and jj?" i whimpered, every other agent besides jj and dave was now either wired or physically with me in my final dying moments and it scared me 

i didn't want to die without all of my BAU family with me, meaning that if i could have derek morgan, aaron hotchner, jason gideon, elle greenaway, kate callahan and alex blake with me as well. that would have been even better because that for me equated to me dying alone and that, dying alone, was my biggest fear. 

"they...they're trying to find the medics sweetheart, they'll be back soon just, please...please hold on a little bit longer," spencer sniffled as he held his girlfriend closer to his chest, not bothered by the blood from me that covered his cream-coloured button-up shirt 

"i...i'm so sorry spence...i...i shouldn't have tried to be the hero. i shouldn't have taken my bulletproof vest off...i...i just wanted jasper to be safe..." i trailed off, my voice terrified and regretful as it continued to sound weak and quiet 

"...oh...sav...don't apologise sweetheart. you...you didn't think this was going to happen..." spencer's mind and his 187 iq were completely slashed due to the trauma and his mind splitting off in different directions

his emotions becoming the thing that controlled him as i smiled. holding in a laugh that would cause me to cough up more blood.

"...no, i didn't think i'd be getting shot at or dying today at all, spence. i mean, i know it wasn't...wasn't on my 2019 bingo card to die but, look at where we are i guess.." i weakly sighed as i then turned my head to spit out some blood that caught in my throat, spencer choking back a sob 

"no...no, it...it wasn't...i'm sorry sav..." the boy wonder swallowing himself up as he cradles me closer to his chest, bringing his knees up to support the back of my head and using his hand as another support 

"...where are these bloody medics?!" luke screamed as he sat directly opposite spencer and i as jj and dave shrugged their shoulders simultaneously 

no one knew where these bloody medics were. surely they hadn't gone too far considering they were given specific rules. rules by police and the FBI to follow their strict orders. to stay in close proximity to the school gym just in case marianna escalated at any point.

"luke...luke, s...stop, please," i croaked out, reaching my hand over to my fellow agent who had become one of my closest male friends besides spencer, derek and matthew 

"what...what? no..no, sav, please...let the medics help you! they...they can't be too far away now!" it was a complete and utter delusion of spencer to say that out loud but he wasn't going to give up on his person

the person who had constantly stayed by his side during every single life event. significant or not from childhood to the both of us joining the FBI together. spencer was not going to allow the love of his life, his favourite person in this universe, to leave tonight. not on the watch of himself or the rest of the team.

"i...i said no, spencer! luke, stop it! i order you to bring jj and dave here right now. tell...tell them to stop trying to get the medics here! if...if i'm going to die, i don't want any of my team to be gone. if...if i am going to die, which, i...i will be tonight, i...i want to die with all of us together one last time, please..." i spluttered out as spencer's tears became uncontrollable, nudging his teary cheeks closer to my face, making me smile under the wetness of the tears that cooled me down 

"i don't fucking care, savannah, you are not going to die! i...i am so sorry, i didn't give you the help you clearly needed. i...i shouldn't have ignored you even though you said you had it under control...i should have fucking known the second it became too quiet and that you didn't have your vest on that i should have become more aware and turned around and reacted quicker than i did..."

"...i should have made you mad over me helping you take down marianna and have you still alive than having you bleed out to death on my lap. i mean...what would you rather me be doing? watching you die in my lap or watch yourself yell at me because you always and continuously show everyone how invincible you are and how incredible you are at handling every single unsub on your own...i mean, i know what i'd prefer, do you?" spencer was going mad, he was hyperventilating and panicking, his tears falling like raging waterfalls now as he realised he was no longer going to have his person alive any longer 

he wasn't going to have his number one support person, the girl that he loved more than he loved anyone in the entire world die. the girl that he wanted to get married to and have kids with and continue to take down even more unsubs as his chest suddenly constricted in pain all at the same time. 

"spencer...spence, please calm down babe, everything is okay. i'd of course rather be doing anything else but this...but, there was clearly a reason why i wasn't paying much attention and lost all of my reaction time...there is a reason why jasper frantically and accidentally shot me in the mistake of marianna. i don't know what reason since it's a pretty messed up reason and i know hardly any of us here believe in this crap...sorry em...but i...i do believe it was a sign telling me that it's my time to go and let my boyfriend and the rest of my glorious and smart team grow up and transform into something even better..." 

"...i...i don't want something better..." spencer choked out as his lips trembled, still holding me tight and the rest of the team nodded their heads in agreement, penelope included through the live feed

this team didn't want better they wanted me and they wanted me alive. they didn't want the thought of having to introduce a new team member who would probably never live up to the expectation and skill level that was their savannah o'keefe. 

this made me smile with a hint of sadness, "i'm sorry but...i think this was the sign to tell me that i should have left the BAU and i should have left ages ago. emily, grab my gun and credentials since i'll no longer need them anymore..." i finished off what spencer interrupted as he continued to shake his head and cry softly 

i was the behavioural analysis unit's best profiler and field agent that they had ever seen, even when i first joined when me and spencer were 22. my smile was radiant, it lit up every room or scenario i walked into and it was the best consolation for families of the victims of the unsubs we fought almost every week. i've been told that i was easily the glue that kept the team together during the difficult times and it was obvious i was very loved by everyone.

i've also been told that i was also the most gorgeously made girl as well, my blonde hair so long it was often mislabeled as a wig (derek getting a lot of heat for his comment about that), my blue eyes the prettiest and deepest blue ever seen and the most enchanting. my nose the cutest button nose anyone had ever seen and my entire face filled up with small golden blonde freckles that always sparkled in the sunshine. it was also well known how intelligent i was, just like my boyfriend and fellow genius dr spencer reid. i was just the best person anyone could meet and the one that was the most reliable in the whole entire BAU. 

this was why, at any time, i was placed in a high-risk, dangerous situation, the team hoped and prayed to a god that sometimes even they struggled to believe in for the hope that once again, i would remain indestructible and walk out of the school shooting or bomb siege as if nothing bad had happened. however, this time, clearly, i was very much not invincible or indestructible. sure, i was smart, unbelievably gorgeous and the best FBI agent the BAU had ever had. but, that meant nothing to a schizophrenic 30 year old lady who was kidnapping kids under the age of ten after she lost her own child whilst experiencing schizophrenic breaks.

the cause of the crimes being committed. in the eyes of marianna williamson, i was nothing but a threat to her that was going to cause harm to her and then take away whom, in her schizophrenic break, thought was her son and that was something she couldn't allow again. that was until jasper raised an undeclared second gun and accidentally shot me, with his misfire thinking it was marianna that he had shot. when it came to my final goodbyes to my boyfriend and team, it was extremely hard to watch the girl that was usually so untouchable finally start to deteriorate and not have the opportunity to save her. 

for spencer, knowing that we would never watch our favourite geeky shows together or read their geeky books together or have the ability to talk smack about the other FBI divisions or go on undercover missions together. or to have the chance in being the best tag team ever again made his insides twist as his chest constricted in pain again. for the rest of the team, jj, luke, emily, tara, penelope, matthew and dave, knowing that they'd never get to watch their resident badass kick down the doors and talk the unsubs down again or play endless games of drunk never have i ever or drunk truth or dare on the jet home from a tough case. or just the simple family things they all did as a team made them wish they did those drinking games and simple family things a whole lot more often.

all the things they suddenly regretted and wished they could have done with me were now all surfacing and the physical pain it gave them was undeniable, and it made them feel sick to their stomachs that they'll never get to do those things they wish they got to do with me ever again. tears sprung to their eyes that, after this, they would be returning back to penelope and quantico with all but their full team alive, breaking their promise to penelope that they'd all come back alive. like the promise, they made to each other that they'd come home safe. 

"...luke promise me something...okay?" my voice deteriorates with every word and breath, trying my hardest to say all my goodbyes, everyone listening in so they didn't miss one single thing i have to say before it's too late 

"anything, what do i need to promise, sav?" luke questions as he makes direct eye contact with me as i faintly smile 

"please...please re...remind spencer how much i love him and that...i...i'm sorry that i broke my promise of us coming back home alive together..." my entire body rattled as the bloody cough left my mouth and i continued, spencer's cries shaking the both of us as he holds me 

"...he...he needs to know that this was never my intention but that i...i don't regret what i did and the things i said to him before we came here. i really did want to step down from the team for a little bit and get married and then have a couple of kids and lay low until they were old enough for me to slowly start to come back. i'm just...i'm so sorry that spencer's never going to fulfil that life with the girl of his dreams which is how i know he saw me...i'm just sorry that he's lost another person in his life that he's loved," i grimaced as i felt my entire body become weaker as spencer bit his lip, trying to hold back another sob 

"but please...please promise spencer something..." i squeaked out again, luke nodding his head as everyone watched, struggling with their own emotions as well 

"what is it, bubs?" luke spoke up, his bottom lip trembling as he tried hold back tears and i smiled at the use of the team's universal nickname for me 

"i...i want you guys to promise spencer that, even though he can't have his true dream life with me, he can still have it with another girl that he falls in love with. i...i want him to get married to another girl, i want him to have kids with her, i...i want him to be happy. i want to be able to look down on him and see him laugh to the point where he's crying and i want him to cry so much that he doesn't have any more to cry but ends up laughing afterwards so it doesn't look like he's a wuss *tearful giggles* even though we all know he actually is, okay? i...i just want him to be happy after i'm gone, i don't want to die and then watch him let his life go to shit just because i'm gone, okay? can...could you promise that for me, luke?" i begged weakly as luke nodded his head, the rest of the team also nodding their heads promising to me that they would make sure that our boy wonder doesn't end up wasting his life away 

"i promise bubs," luke whispered as i smiled before moving over to my boyfriend for one last verbal goodbye since i knew that the others didn't need a goodbye said to them, they all knew how much i meant to them and how much they meant to me

i suddenly panicked for a second because i couldn't see the camera or hear where penelope was in the same way i could with the rest of the team, "pen...penelope, where are you?" taking a breath before responding, penelope composed herself 

"i'm right here dollface, i'm still here, i haven't left you," penelope assured me as i just squeaked back in response before directing myself towards my boyfriend, saying my final farewell to him

 "spencer, spence, spencaroo, my precious boy wonder. you've been my best friend my entire life and i thought i was going to marry you and have our future children someday. but i thought my life couldn't have been any better because i knew that with you by my side, i was invincible and i was able to do everything and anything i put my mind to..." it was quickly getting increasingly more difficult for me to talk but i didn't give up just yet

"...i cannot thank you enough for...for the happiness and life you brought to me every single day throughout our beautiful friendship and our relationship. have...having you as my boyfriend has been nothing but the best part of my life and i wish i could spend the rest of my days with you but, i can't and i am so beyond sorry that due to my own stupidity that i'm just another person in your life that you've gotten close with and had a precious relationship with only for me to just have it taken away from you again like all the other ones..." for once, i could see that spencer didn't feel like he was being abandoned, even though i was the one person he really didn't want to lose

"...i am so sorry that i won't be able to marry you or...or have beautiful kid wonders with you... i...i'm sorry that i'll never get to cuddle or kiss you again. i'm sorry that i'll never get to call you spence or spencaroo ever again...i'm sorry that i'll never get to make you breakfast and coffee in bed ever again. i'm...i'm also sorry that i had to do the one thing i promised you i'd never do. i am so sorry that i'm leaving you all...all alone after i promised you i never would...i'm so sorry spencer reid..." i was struggling, everyone could tell i was struggling but also that i was trying to hold on for just that little bit longer just in case the medics did end up arriving and got me to a hospital 

my speech was slurring, i was choking on blood more frequently but trying to hide it by attempting to keep the coughing at a minimum and i was fighting my hardest to keep my eyes open for longer. and spencer was beside himself as he sobbed, his brain in a complete and utter mental breakdown, malfunctioning in overstimulation of emotions. his knowledge of statistics of what to do completely gone out of the window so he had nothing that could possibly provide him with any comfort. 

"why aren't you scared to die, sav? please...please don't die, sav! don't leave me!" spencer wept as he tried to hold my dying, heavy body closer as i weakly and unattractively giggled

then, my mouth opened and i uttered my last words with the last part of whatever remaining strength i had left as everyone watched, tears leaving their eyes, penelope the only other team member weeping apart from spencer. 

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the FBI...if i was scared, i...i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" i croaked out, wanting to make my team laugh just one more time before my death 

my entire body all of a sudden relaxed in spencer's grip as my eyes closed, my mouth upturned into a small smile as my final breath came and went just as quickly as spencer had the time to comprehend my last words. my last coherent sentence with that last burst of strength that i had accumulated out of god knows where. 

"...and...cut!" glenn shouted as silence filled the sound stage

it was a silence that in my entire 15 years on criminal minds, i had never heard before after 'cut' being called. then, i sighed loudly as i looked to see that matthew was still cradeling me. and quite honestly, it was quite comforting for me. however, i knew it was even more comforting for matthew, i mean, jeez, did you not just hear and see all that crying and fantastic acting he had just done for that whole scene?

and i have no doubt that those tears weren't real since i knew matthew and i've known for him, it wasn't whether or not he was trying to make himself cry but rather trying to stop himself from crying. so, i just stayed in my position a little longer, letting matthew relax a little bit longer and to allow him some calm.

"...i'm sorry matthew, i know this is hard!" i whispered as matthew nudged closer to me as i smiled softly as he then hid his face in my hair

out of nowhere, after a sweet moment with matthew, i feel a sudden pressure over matthew and i. i look up to see it was adam rodriguez who plays luke alvez that had joined us for the hug which made me smile.

"aw, hey buddy, what's up?" i whisper, realising matthew had now calmed down but kept his eyes closed before adam sat with us

"glenn says we're about to finish the rest of the scene soon. but, i also wanted a hug," adam let out a shameful giggle as i pouted softly

i genuinely began to hate how upset everyone on our set had been getting consdering today was the last day on set for us all, my death scene being filmed today on top of everything.

"well, you know the rules, serial killers never take a holiday!" i huffed as adam and i pulled out of the hug as we chuckled at the joke 

i then lowered my face closer to matthew's hair, giving it a kiss as that touch forced matthew to open his eyes as he nodded his head, understanding instantly, his permanent sad puppy pout still etched into his smile 

"places everyone and...action!"

𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

...and straight away, everyone gulped and tears streamed down our faces as we remained silent and calm, spencer in frantic panic mode. everything he knew normally had suddenly gone flying out of the door, he was trying everything and anything he could to try and get savannah to wake up. shaking her, hitting her, yelling at her, spencer was trying every little thing he could, breaking FBI protocol. he was trying everything he could to force savannah to wake up. however, nothing was working because savannah's heart had stopped beating, her lungs stopped producing oxygen to her brain...savannah had just stopped entirely. 

"sav...sav, come on now! savannah! wake up!!" spencer screamed, his voice becoming louder and more distressed as he continued to shake the body of his deceased girlfriend to no avail as his sobs became louder and louder 

no one could watch this go on any longer so, i took control, unable to stomach spencer's grievous screams and wails anymore. so, without a word or point of eye contact with matthew simmons, the two of us decided that matthew was going to pick up savannah and move her away to cover her up so the medics, who had only just now decided to show up could hand her to the coroner's office. i then went over to calm down the distraught boy wonder who just wished that for once, his bloody girlfriend had hesitated to take off her bulletproof vest so that she didn't have to die from a stupid and easily avoidable gunshot wound to the chest. 

"spencer...spence...reid! stop it...just stop!" i called out before i could get the screaming, thrashing and sobbing agent, my best friend to calm down and just stop

"luke...she...she's gone!" spencer wailed as he tried to pull out of my strong grip and i nodded my head as i held the more experienced younger agent closer 

"i...i know spence, i know. i know she's gone and it hurts, it hurts like hell but, what sav said before she died is absolutely correct. she knew, just like we all did, what she was signing up for when she joined the FBI...when you both joined the FBI together and if she was scared, she would have already left. and now more than ever, we can't stop just because she's gone. we have to keep going because they're will always be another child or another innocent life that needs to be saved and another unsub that needs to be caught," i tried my hardest to soothe the younger agent and calm him down but, there was no easier way to console him 

spencer then became mad but he didn't say anything even though i could sense that spencer wanted to question why on earth savannah did it but, he refrained from saying such a sentence because he could never totally question something his girlfriend did. especially if it was a matter of life and death and children were involved somehow. but, he just wished that savannah had paid more attention or at least kept her bulletproof vest on so that even if she was in this situation, she could have survived. even with the medics taking their sweet old jolly time as though they too weren't racing against the clock of life and death themselves. 

"...cut!" 

🎬

then, it came to the second part that matthew was anything but excited for in regards to savannah's death and, it was truthfully understandable, most especially when the whole entire cast that wasn't involved in the episode and the crew were going to be watching, this was going to be a painful watch. 

"and...action!" 

𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

24 hours later and the BAU was still in sarasota, florida. the team were still needing to question marianna cunningham after she had been seen by the medics and formally arrested by the sarasota police and also question the little boy, jasper collins.

a visit to the medical examiner was also needed so they could check out the coroner's report of savannah to then add it into the report on it back home in quantico, virginia. it had also been a whole day since spencer had his girlfriend die in his arms, her blood still unwashed from his cream button-up shirt and grey coloured dress pants that he had worn the previous day.

the poor boy couldn't even fall asleep that night because he knew that the exact moment his eyelashes touched each other for even a blink, he'd go back to that moment. the moment he saw savannah being shot, the crimson liquid leaving her chest as he caught her, lowering the both of them down to the ground all over again.

whilst the rest of the team were finishing up marianna cunningham and jasper collins' case, spencer sat in the sarasota police departments bullpen in silence. even though he knew he was the smartest in that room after a regular case, because this case ended with him losing the love of his life, he wouldn't be the smartest nor the greatest deal of help. especially after having to witness the death of his girlfriend right in front of him.

none of us blamed him in the team for not joining us in the bullpen. as his unit chief but most importantly as his best friend, i knew from experience that a loss and grief like this wouldn't be easy to recover from. especially within 24 hours of the loss happening so, we allowed spencer to sit out of the debrief, especially in regarding to the new photo we had to add on the wall of our unsub's victims.

all he would do if he even looked at the photo of his girlfriend, which was the new sticky taped photo next to the other victims of marianna's crimes, on the whiteboard. he would break down and cry hysterically and inconsolably. although it did get joked about a lot, this moment had truly shattered spencer's 187 IQ and the rest of his encyclopedic knowledge. he felt the most useless he had ever felt now that savannah was dead and it felt like he was all alone again.

on my way out of the rooms that had marianna and jasper detained, i walked past spencer to check in on him. sliding down the wall, i joined him, my legs folding over themselves as i slowly moved my hand closer to spencer's. when i saw no hesitation or signal for me to stop,i continued and linked my fingers with his. 

"...you're still thinking about sav, aren't you spence?" my voice was soft, understanding but filled with my own grief for my friend as spencer's lip trembled and he nodded his head, his eyes darting all around the sarasota bullpen 

"emily...i...i'm so tired but i know that if i go to sleep or even just close my eyes for a second, i... i'll watch sav...her...get shot again as i catch her, her blood covering my shirt and pants as i lower the both of us to the ground. how...how do i move on from her...how do i move on from this, em? i...i'm so lost and not a single statistic or smart remark that i'd normally have can save me...what do i do?" spencer's voice was quiet as tears that he thought had been cried all night last night trailed down his cheeks and he simply refused to close his eyes to stop them

i take in a big breath before i squeeze spencer's hand, "she knows that spence, but she also knows that you'd hate yourself even more, for the rest of your life, if you wasted your life away. savannah wants you to be happy and to someday leave the bau. she even made luke promise you that you would have kids, get married and have that grandiose house. just, with a different girl that's got you so head over heels and tied down to the point where even after three years of marriage, you still stutter your words and trip over your own feet because you're still so in love with her," i spoke softly as i caressed spencer's trembling hands because i knew that everything i had just said, spencer wanted with savannah and now, he had to find with someone else? 

"she's allowing you to move on because she knows how miserable you'll be if you don't allow it for yourself," i continued, a small smile on my face as spencer finally looks at me and nods his head timidly 

i then got us both standing and i pulled him into a hug before whispering something into his ear. 

"sav loved and still loves you so much, spence. she may not have said it verbally but, she made the entire team promise her that we would make sure you find another girl. she even made luke promise her that he'd tell you that she does love you and how sorry she is that we couldn't all come back home alive," me and spencer pulled out of the hug as i gave my friend one more comforting look and spencer nodded his head, speaking up softly 

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared...if i was scared, i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" he tearfully whispered, choking up on his words as he and i giggled softly at the choice of words our fellow agent and girlfriend had picked for her last words reminding us that we'd never forget how comedic the young agent could be, even in what was a scary and heartbreaking moment 

even though it did make me laugh, it still hurt hearing spencer repeat those words only twenty-four hours later since losing her.  

"we do know what we signed up for, spence. but, i think that in her last moments, if...if my profile is correct, i'd say that savannah was scared and this was her way of leaving the BAU the way i left after the doyle case. except, i don't think there is any way she faked her death, because i do know how excited she was to leave...just, not like this..."

"...she never wanted to leave her beloved BAU by dying due to a little kid accidentally misfiring a gun," i stammered, my own tears welling up in my eyes as i wiped them away discreetly

my hand in the pocket that held the last two things that savannah had asked me to take. her gun and FBI credentials as spencer cocked his head to the side in confusion 

 "huh? why was she so excited? what did she tell you that i stupidly missed out on?" spencer whimpered as i felt bad, i knew that i shouldn't have kept this from him for so long from the perspective of a friend but, from the perspective of his unit chief, i had to but now, it was time i had to tell him 

catching one of spencer's tears with my finger i just told him why savannah was so excited at the possibility of leaving the BAU, "she knew that if she left now when she still had the chance, her fear of being killed would go away..." i choked out as i struggled to not cry for spencer's sake and he just stumbled towards the wall, which thankfully stopped him from falling 

i then grabbed ahold of him as he struggled to catch his breath, "...her biggest fear is what killed her..." spencer choked out as he could no longer breathe due to his tears as i hugged him tightly 

then, i pulled him out of the hug and held out his hand. he gave me a conflicted and confused look before i handed him his girlfriend's gun and FBI credentials so that he still had those things of hers with him. 

"...cut!" 

tiahni's pov

as soon as glenn had yelled cut, i bolted from behind the camera and over to paget and matthew to pull them in for a hug. aj, aisha, joe, daniel and kirsten were all sitting together as they watched the scenes they weren't in from behind the camera. i had felt terribly awful that everyone in the cast was either teary-eyed or full-on crying and then there was me who wasn't crying at all. if i had any little faith in myself and my emotions, maybe the tears will start during the other final scenes or the very final scene that was being filmed today but, as of right now, i was completely okay and my emotions weren't out of wack or heightened at all. 

giving another hug to paget before she rushed off to aisha and kirsten, i didn't let go of matthew, who physically relaxed in my embrace as i held him tightly. matthew then started to cry on my shoulder as his breath remained shaky. i could tell that scene as well as all the other ones had completely taken it out of him. i then noticed that aisha and kirsten were doing the same thing for paget but on a much simpler level since she didn't seem to be as devastated and exhausted as matthew was. 

"fucking hell...that sucked!" matthew sniffled, whispering as i smiled into his hair

"i was only watching it but, it really did suck!" i whispered with a small smile, nudging matthew closer as he then pouted, i didn't add in my usual, "and swallowed" joke 

"was lowkey expecting to hear the and swallowed joke, not going to lie," matthew muttered as i softly giggled as i ran my fingers through his fluffy and messed up curls 

"i did think about but, nah, it doesn't feel like it's the right time to say it," i muttered softly, it now hitting me that me and the rest of my cast were finishing our special little crime show

there was no way i could make a dirty joke after what was scene after scene of emotional torture. not at all, maybe later but, not right now. there was always a time and place.

"do you ever think you'll cry over this at some point, today, tia?" matthew mumbled softly, finally looking up at me as i made eye contact finally as well, a small smile on my lips 

"hmm, yeah, at some point or another," i nodded, hugging him tighter whilst matthew just nodded his head and smiled as he relaxed again back into my embrace 

🎬

the last ever scene for criminal minds, our special little crime show, had just wrapped up and what was a farewell party for penelope garcia as she leaves the BAU for a different job. the team also had a funeral/memorial for savannah towards the end of the episode as well with some very special cameos but, that was before they farewelled penelope.

the last ever shot of the episode is of the BAU taking their maiden voyage together for one last time and the first time without savannah, them stepping into the elevator as penelope waves goodbye at them. the moment in which the elevator door closes, penelope is seen walking to her desk and shutting off the computers, turning off the lights and leaving the room. a small post-it note stuck in between the desk for the next technical analyst as she shuts the door behind her and then a black screen follows that. 

i had leant up against a wall alongside matthew as they were filming kirsten's final-ever coverage for her last few scenes after the elevator door closes and i felt my eyes slowly start to tear up. matthew was still crying silently and i could hear his little sniffles as he leaned against me as i smiled. 

the final "cut" had just been called and everyone just erupted into cheers and everyone applauded. when, all of a sudden, i had been pulled into the middle of what i had now noticed was a group circle by matthew and i, all of a sudden, become embarrassed. knowing exactly what was about to happen, i compartmentalized to make sure my teary eyes didn't allow any tears to escape or be noticed as i giggled. 

glenn and erica messer, our criminal minds showrunner joined me in the middle of the circle as i smiled and just shook my head. they were wanting to give me a special series wrap because i was the one character (that had been with the show the entire fifteen years) to die in the final episode and this "special series wrap" was something that everyone else had agreed to without any hesitation. i smiled over at erica who i could tell was trying her absolute hardest to not cry which made me giggle as i rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet to distract myself. 

"whilst we are series wrapping everyone in this cast, i wanted to dedicate a very special series wrap to the very talented miss tiahni garcia who has been with us, and our little crime show since the very beginning 15 years ago and was so open to the idea...to the idea of having her character getting killed off with only 20 minutes left of the episode being finished..." erica tearfully trailed off as i pouted with a small giggle as i bit my lip as she continued 

"...tiahni, when she found out, that we were going to be killing savannah off, she didn't hesitate to include herself and collaborate with kirsten and me on how she wanted her character to die and how her fellow characters should farewell her. tia never once complained that savannah wasn't going to survive the last episode of the series and was in fact really excited to be killed off *tearful giggles*," erica trailed off with a tearful giggle as everyone else laughed tearfully and i just laughed and shook my head, my head pointing down to the floor in pure embarrassment 

"and in all honesty, i think that just shows how involved each of our wonderful, talented actors and actresses standing right here in front of all of us are with their characters. tia wanted to make sure that she said goodbye to savannah in the best way possible and, she did. i mean, watching her film her final scenes with matthew and the rest of the team was heartbreaking *choked up laughter* but those scenes were also my favourite scenes to watch..." erica, once again, got the cast and crew to get choked up but laugh at the same time as i remained with my focus being purely on the ground below me when all of a sudden, erica made me look up to look at her 

"...tia, my darling girl...i love you so much and i am forever grateful you were with us for 15 years and made it to the very end, even if it wasn't with your character surviving. watching you grow over these last 15 years from when you were just 18 to 33 has been an absolute honour and a pleasure of mine. so, thank you so much, tiahni! and now, i'm afraid guys, as much as it hurts, it's time that i say..." 

"...nooo erica! don't say it!" everyone cried out as erica and i giggled but she still said it anyway despite everyone's petitions otherwise

"it is a series wrap on miss tiahni garcia!" erica choked out, tears resting on her chees and i couldn't help but feel a warmth in my chest as she pulled me in for a hug  

however, it quickly turned into a group hug when matthew, paget, adam, aisha...bloody the whole cast and crew ran over and joined the now group hug as more tears from everyone started. and our special little crime show was finally over! 

"...did we get her?" 

"bloody hell...no matthew, tia didn't cry once today so, you now owe everyone, including tia, in this cast $50!"  

"oh for fucks sake, come on, tia!" 

"sorry guys! didn't know i was supposed to cry!" 

fin

i've always loved this little ending part in italics since i feel like the cast of criminal minds definitely did something similar. maybe not exactly like this but, i feel like they had a bet for someone during the filming of those last 10 episodes

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared, i-i would have made the decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" 💔

pairing : bau team x bau!fem reader

summary : set in season 15, SSA savannah o'keefe is killed by a child held hostage by their latest unsub. what follows is sure to devastate the entire team.

warnings : death, blood, tears, angst, swearing, depressing - the usual criminal minds warnings

a/n : as mentioned in the description, this is set in season 15 so, for the next chapter, i'm going to do a part two to this except, it'll be savannah's actress, tiahni who is being killed off/ saying her final goodbye to the show so, enjoy this chapter

savannah knew she needed to be careful, everyone in the FBI knew how careful you needed to be with unsubs or even the victims that the unsubs had held hostage. however, it seemed as if it hadn't crossed her mind at how desperate the child who was currently being held hostage was to escape. 

"...o'keefe, are you okay? do you need any assistance?" supervisory special agent dr spencer reid, savannah's boyfriend, questions

spencer's head looking over his shoulder since his back was away from savannah. savannah stood in front of the unsub, the poor child was being used as a body shield by the unsub.

"ahh..no, i..i should be fine reid but, do see if you can get a clear shot and see if maybe prentiss and alvez can too!" the agent turned to smile at her brown-haired, nevadian boy genius boyfriend, feeling a surge of confidence that she could take down the unsub whilst also making sure the child stayed alive

except when it came to the planning of her takedown, agent savannah o'keefe wasn't as careful as she thought she was. 

supervisory special agent savannah o'keefe was quite confident in her profiling skills and her fieldwork. she was utterly outstanding in her marksmanship and was highly skilled, which was why she and dr spencer reid, made an excellent team since they were both skilled in the field and as profilers. not only were they dating each other, but they were also both child prodigies from las vegas, nevada and childhood best friends who joined the FBI academy together at the ripe young age of 22.

a special request from senior supervisory special agent jason gideon who at the time was the unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit. and this was because they were still too young to join the unit since the official age to join the FBI was at least 23 but younger than 37. however, sometimes, due to being human, agent o'keefe would sometimes get blindsided which would cause her to miss her usual quick snap-of-the-finger reaction time. this time, her small misjudgement, and not being able to realise the unsub's intentions had huge consequences because agent o'keefe was not quick enough. 

the unsub had a realisation of what was about to happen to her, now out of her psychosis she knew the people in her house were FBI agents. she then noticed one of them, unlike the rest, wasn't wearing their bulletproof vest, in a bid to be unsuspicious to the unsub. then, all of a sudden, the unsub brought her gun up ready to shoot the unsuspecting agent whose back was facing the unsub. communicating with her fellow agents luke alvez, emily prentiss, jennifer jareau and dr spencer reid.

all of a sudden, a loud bang was heard and everything fell into slow motion. the kid who had somehow managed to grab the other gun that had been seized by the unsub attempted to shoot them. in an attempt to save savannah, however, with spencer's loud warning to his girlfriend, it ended up alerting both the unsub and the child. which was what caused the huge consequence that ended with savannah getting shot just below her chest.

the little boy, 8-year-old jasper had fired the gun, completely fearful and eyes closed. only hoping his aim was at the right person, his abductor. after another shot was fired, the person loudly falling to the floor, clutching the leg that had been shot, that was when the little boy opened his eyes as they widen, tears welling in his eyes as he realised it was he had shot in the chest and who spencer had shot in the leg.

jasper had accidentally shot savannah, the agent who had been trying to save him and talk down the unsub. spencer had shot marianna cunningham, the unsub who had been holding the boy hostage and moments from shooting savannah. spencer shooting marianna in the leg so as to not kill her but make it easier to arrest her and subdue her.

a gasp of air then came out of savannah's mouth from the reverberation of the gunshot wound through her chest. the little boy wept having no clue who it was he had shot in his desperation of wanting to be rescue and found alive. the second savannah began to fell to the floor, spencer chucked his gun to the floor after shooting marianna. luke, jj and emily holstering their own as they also rushed over to their fellow agent. only hoping they could save her life whilst a police officer had come to take little jasper to safety.

"savannah!" spencer yelled, his gun aimlessly falling to the floor as he dropped to his knees, grabbing his girlfriend as she bled and softly adjusted her to his lap before she could even properly fall to the ground 

jj, emily and luke follow after spencer. all of them seprately calling out for medical assistance. the little boy finally taken by the police officer.

"agent is down, i repeat we have an agent that is injured. agent o'keefe. unsub is injured and has been removed. the child taken by the unsub has been found and removed safely. we need a medic!" luke and jj scream into their wires as emily and spencer try everything possible to stop savannah losing blood from her gunshot wound

savannah was fading pretty quickly as she struggled to catch her breath, her own blood starting to choke her as spencer didn't know what to do.

"what did you do, sav? what...what even happened? you turned away for just a second to talk to me...what..." spencer panicked, he wasn't thinking straight as he frantically tried to stop the bleeding

savannah trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. emily also starting to panic as she watched the all so familiar scene play out in front of her.

"...i...i didn't do my job correctly apparently, spence..." the dying girl responded, a small and cracked sounding laugh ecohed from the girl

she tried her best to stay positive, sarcastic and sassy. and maybe a pinch of stubbornness as spencer and emily continued in trying to help her.

"...don't you do this to me, sav. not right now! what did you do, what even happened? we were right there with you, tell us, we want to help you!" spencer grumbled out in distress, trying his best to remember protocol

he hated crying at the best of times but, whilst at work was the worst time to be vulnerable. angrily wiping away a falling tear with his shoulder, spencer and emily continued to press on savannah's gunshot wound.

"oh, spence, i'm sorry, i was really just trying to be funny..." savannah trailed off after getting a death stare from spencer

"...but, if you really want to know what i was doing, i...i was trying to silently communicate with you without being too suspicious. i was clearly way over my head since it was clear the unsub took notice of my deception and tried to take me down for it. but...the little boy jasper...he...he must have been so scared and desperate to get out and he must of been trying to aim at marianna but..." taking a big breath in, which was getting harder for savannah, she continued

"...instead of aiming for marianna, with his eyes closed, he had no idea where i was from where marianna was standing. he must have confused the two of us. he hadn't meant to shoot me, spence, you know that. we all know that, you could tell he hadn't meant to shoot me. he was scared, spence, so scared that he just closed his eyes, turned his head away and pulled the trigger, only hoping it was in the right direction..." savannah was once again out of breath as spencer whimpered in fear, emily clenching her jaw

emily then speaking up, "he...he must have become frightened when you raised your voice spence when you noticed that marianna was about to shoot savannah...he never meant to shoot savannah at all..." emily almost gasped as she watched at the way spencer's face changed

"it...it was my fault...i did this...i'm the reason why jasper shot you..."

"...no, spence, we're not going to have this conversation! it was not your fault at all. i had taken off my bulletproof vest and unfortunately, the way jasper aimed the gun, no matter if i had the vest on or not, the place where he shot me, this still would have happened..." savannah refused to let spencer put the blame on him as spencer finally noticed that savannah did in fact not have her bulletproof vest on

"...savannah, why did you take your bulletproof vest off?" spencer whimpered, emily also coming to the sudden realisation no one else had picked up on

spencer and emily still trying their hardest to keep savannah from bleeding out to death in their lap. savannah smiling sheepishly at her boyfriend and best friend.

"i...i didn't want a distressed reaction from marianna after coming out of her psychotic break. if she saw the FBI logo, i knew how she'd react. she isn't intellectually challenged like we originally profiled her to be, she is a highly skilled and intelligent schizophrenic, just like your mom, spence..." hearing that last sentence, 'just like your mom' really hit a chord for spencer, he really hadn't recognised his own schizophrenic mother's symptoms in their unsub

"...it was clear that she had knowledge that law enforcement was coming for her, even in her psychotic break. and it was why i did what i did, i didn't want this exact sitation to happen so, in order to make her surrender calmly after coming out of her psychotic break, i made the decision to take off my bulletproof vest. just to see if i could talk her down myself and have her give us jasper without the excess use of anymore force or harm..." savannah shook her head, even that hurt her as she winced in pain, emily and spencer hiding their tears as they shook their heads and scoffed

"...you do realise how stupid that sounds right, o'keefe, especially for someone as skilled as you?" luke alvez then tearfully spoke up as savannah smiled 

"yeah, you think i didn't know that, mr smartarse!" savannah weakly clapped back as she went to start laughing only to start coughing up the blood that was starting to block her airways as the agents started to panic

emily and jj screaming for the medics again. why were they taking so long, there were supposed to be waiting just outside of the bloody building

"please don't laugh sav, it...it'll only make your pain worse..." spencer squeaked out as savannah nodded her head, trying her best to keep as calm as she could  

except, it didn't last for very long when they heard a bright but confused voice reverberate around the room. they then remembered who else in their team could have potentially had eyes and ears in this case since there was only one person who had the skills to hack into the unsub's live feed... penelope garcia, their technical analyst who had been there the entire time. 

"don't make who laugh, what will make what pain worse?" garcia's voice sounded with worry but her usual cheeriness as the agents all shared worried looks with each other 

emily gulped but spoke up, "garcia...how...how long have you been watching through this live feed?" emily's voice was steady but fearful as she awaited penelope's response

penelope shouldn't have to watch via video call the brutal death of one of her very best friends by the underage kid who had accidentally misfired. only hoping that he was shooting his abductor, not the people who were trying to save him 

"after it was confirmed that the little boy was saved and that marianna had been injured on the scene, why? is everyone okay, did all of my crime fighters make it out alright and alive?" penelope questioned, just praying on whatever god she still believed in that all of her furry crime-fighter friends survived another case and unsub takedown 

"umm...how...how many gunshots did you say you heard, penelope?" luke then questioned as he turned around to look at spencer and savannah, closing his eyes briefly before turning back, his face returning to emotionless and stoic 

"one...why? is there something i haven't been told, alvez?" penelope's voice raised slightly, her jokingly disappointed voice making an appearance as luke visibly gulped, slyly nodding his head when penelope saw the ever-so sly nod and her facial expressions immediately changed 

"umm... maybe there..." 

"...penelope, there were two gunshots heard. one hit and injured marianna, delivered by spence and the other...the other one hit savannah, delivered by jasper. the little boy that was marianna's last victim that we managed to save without any fatal injuries. he...the little boy wasn't trying to shoot her, he...he was...he had his eyes closed and his head turning away only hoping that he was aiming for marianna but instead he misfired and shot savannah..." emily shakily explained as penelope felt like she was choking as she spoke up 

"...is...is savannah okay? like is...is she still alive, emily?" penelope dared to ask, her voice fearful but filled with some of her selfish hope that once again, savannah would remain indestructible just like she always was to penelope and the rest of the team 

"pen...she...savannah hadn't gone in with her bulletproof vest, she was struck just underneath her chest. spencer has her bleeding out in his lap, we...we're not sure where our medics are and we...we aren't really confident in savannah having a good enough chance for survival if the medics don't show up in the next three or five minutes. please, pen, contact or wire us through to tara, dave and matthew, we need as much help as we can get!" emily, who wasn't mentioned earlier but is now the unit chief of the bau, was panicking as spencer, her and luke desperately tried to get savannah's blood loss under control 

whilst those three were doing that, jj was running around like a headless chicken trying to contact and find those goddamn medics and see if she could see them coming. 

"pen...penelope, are...are you still there?" savannah's voice was the quietest and weakest it had ever sounded, so quiet however everyone could still hear it, penelope included as their hearts shattered 

"yes baby cakes, i'm still here, i'm not leaving," penelope spoke up sweetly as tara and matthew barged into the abandoned school gym marianna had been keeping her victims in 

emily then reported back to penelope that tara and matthew had arrived and rossi was helping jj figure out where those damned medics were. 

"spence...spence?" savannah whimpered out, trying to lift her head up as spencer's tear-filled eyes made contact with her dying ones 

"yes, love?" spencer whimpered out, his breath shaky as savannah took in a sharp breath before continuing 

"where...where's dave and...and jj?" she whimpered, every other agent besides jj and dave was now either wired or physically with her in her final dying moments and it scared her 

savannah didn't want to die without all of her BAU family with her, meaning that if she could have derek morgan, aaron hotchner, jason gideon, elle greenaway, kate callahan and alex blake with her as well. that would have been even better because that to the young agent equated to her dying alone and that, dying alone, was the agent's biggest fear. 

"they...they're trying to find the medics sweetheart, they'll be back soon just, please...please hold on a little bit longer," spencer sniffled as he held his girlfriend closer to his chest, not bothered by the blood from his girlfriend that covered his cream-coloured button-up shirt 

"i...i'm so sorry spence...i...i shouldn't have tried to be the hero. i shouldn't have taken my bulletproof vest off...i...i just wanted jasper to be safe..." savannah trailed off, her voice terrified and regretful as it continued to sound weak and quiet 

"...oh...sav...don't apologise sweetheart. you...you didn't think this was going to happen..." spencer's mind and his 187 iq were completely slashed due to the trauma and his mind splitting off in different directions

his emotions becoming the thing that controlled him as savannah smiled. holding in a laugh that would cause her to cough up more blood.

"...no, i didn't think i'd be getting shot at or dying today at all, spence. i mean, i know it wasn't...wasn't on my 2019 bingo card to die but, look at where we are i guess.." savannah weakly sighed as she then turned her head to spit out some blood that caught in her throat, spencer choking back a sob 

"no...no, it...it wasn't...i'm sorry sav..." the boy wonder swallowing himself up as he cradles savannah closer to his chest, bringing his knees up to support the back of her head and using his hand as another support 

"...where are these bloody medics?!" luke screamed as she sat directly opposite spencer and savannah as jj and rossi shrugged their shoulders simultaneously 

no one knew where these bloody medics were. surely they hadn't gone too far considering they were given specific rules. rules by police and the fbi to follow their strict orders. to stay in close proximity to the school gym just in case marianna escalated at any point.

"luke...luke, s...stop, please," savannah croaked out, reaching her hand over to her fellow agent who had become one of her closest male friends besides spencer, derek and matthew 

"what...what? no..no, sav, please...let the medics help you! they...they can't be too far away now!" it was a complete and utter delusion of spencer to say that out loud but he wasn't going to give up on his person

the person who had constantly stayed by his side during every single life event. significant or not from childhood to the both of them joining the FBI together. spencer was not going to allow the love of his life, his favourite person in this universe, to leave tonight. not on the watch of himself or the rest of the team.

"i...i said no, spencer! luke, stop it! i order you to bring jj and dave here right now. tell...tell them to stop trying to get the medics here! if...if i'm going to die, i don't want any of my team to be gone. if...if i am going to die, which, i...i will be tonight, i...i want to die with all of us together one last time, please..." savannah spluttered out as spencer's tears became uncontrollable, nudging his teary cheeks closer to savannah's face, making her smile under the wetness of the tears that cooled the girl down 

"i don't fucking care, savannah, you are not going to die! i...i am so sorry, i didn't give you the help you clearly needed. i...i shouldn't have ignored you even though you said you had it under control...i should have fucking known the second it became too quiet and that you didn't have your vest on that i should have become more aware and turned around and reacted quicker than i did..."

"...i should have made you mad over me helping you take down marianna and have you still alive than having you bleed out to death on my lap. i mean...what would you rather me be doing? watching you die in my lap or watch yourself yell at me because you always and continuously show everyone how invincible you are and how incredible you are at handling every single unsub on your own...i mean, i know what i'd prefer, do you?" spencer was going mad, he was hyperventilating and panicking, his tears falling like raging waterfalls now as he realised he was no longer going to have his person alive any longer 

he wasn't going to have his number one support person, the girl that he loved more than he loved anyone in the entire world die. the girl that he wanted to get married to and have kids with and continue to take down even more unsubs as his chest suddenly constricted in pain all at the same time. 

"spencer...spence, please calm down babe, everything is okay. i'd of course rather be doing anything else but this...but, there was clearly a reason why i wasn't paying much attention and lost all of my reaction time...there is a reason why jasper frantically and accidentally shot me in the mistake of marianna. i don't know what reason since it's a pretty messed up reason and i know hardly any of us here believe in this crap...sorry em...but i...i do believe it was a sign telling me that it's my time to go and let my boyfriend and the rest of my glorious and smart team grow up and transform into something even better..." 

"...i...i don't want something better..." spencer choked out as his lips trembled, still holding his girlfriend tight and the rest of the team nodded their heads in agreement, penelope included through the live feed

this team didn't want better they wanted savannah and they wanted her alive. they didn't want the thought of having to introduce a new team member who would probably never live up to the expectation and skill level that was their savannah o'keefe. 

this made savannah smile with a hint of sadness, "i'm sorry but...i think this was the sign to tell me that i should have left the BAU and i should have left ages ago. emily, grab my gun and credentials since i'll no longer need them anymore..." savannah finished off what spencer interrupted as he continued to shake his head and cry softly 

savannah was the behavioural analysis unit's best profiler and field agent that had ever seen, even when she first joined when she and spencer were 22. her smile was radiant, it lit up every room or scenario she walked into and it was the best consolation for families of the victims of the unsubs they fought almost every week. she was easily the glue that kept the team together during the difficult times and it was obvious she was very loved by everyone.

she was also the most gorgeously made girl as well, her blonde hair so long it was often mislabeled as a wig (derek getting a lot of heat for his comment about that), her blue eyes the prettiest and deepest blue ever seen and the most enchanting. her nose the cutest button nose anyone had ever seen and her entire face filled up with small golden blonde freckles that always sparkled in the sunshine. it was also well known how intelligent she was, just like her boyfriend and fellow genius dr spencer reid. she was just the best person anyone could meet and the one that was the most reliable in the whole entire bau. 

this was why, at any time, she was placed in a high-risk, dangerous situation, the team hoped and prayed to a god that sometimes even they struggled to believe in for the hope that once again, savannah would remain indestructible and walk out of the school shooting or bomb siege as if nothing bad had happened. however, this time, clearly, savannah was very much not invincible or indestructible. sure, she was smart, unbelievably gorgeous and the best FBI agent the BAU had ever had. but, that meant nothing to a schizophrenic 30 year old lady who was kidnapping kids under the age of ten after she lost her own child whilst experiencing schizophrenic breaks.

the cause of the crimes being committed. in the eyes of marianna williamson, supervisory special agent savannah o'keefe was nothing but a threat to her that was going to cause harm to her and then take away whom, in her schizophrenic break, thought was her son and that was something she couldn't allow again. that was until jasper raised an undeclared second gun and accidentally shot the FBI agent, with his misfire thinking it was marianna that he had shot. when it came to the girl's final goodbyes to her boyfriend and their team, it was extremely hard to watch the girl that was usually so untouchable finally start to deteriorate and not have the opportunity to save her. 

for spencer, knowing that they would never watch their favourite geeky shows together or read their geeky books together or have the ability to talk smack about the other FBI divisions or go on undercover missions together. or to have the chance in being the best tag team ever again made his insides twist as his chest constricted in pain again. for the rest of the team, jj, luke, emily, tara, penelope, matthew and dave, knowing that they'd never get to watch their resident badass kick down the doors and talk the unsubs down again or play endless games of drunk never have i ever or drunk truth or dare on the jet home from a tough case. or just the simple family things they all did as a team made them wish they did those drinking games and simple family things a whole lot more often.

all the things they suddenly regretted and wished they could have done with savannah were now all surfacing and the physical pain it gave them was undeniable, and it made them feel sick to their stomachs that they'll never get to do those things they wish they got to do with her ever again. tears sprung to their eyes that, after this, they would be returning back to penelope and quantico with all but their full team alive, breaking their promise to penelope that they'd all come back alive. like the promise, they made to each other that they'd come home safe. 

"...luke promise me something...okay?" savannah's voice deteriorates with every word and breath, trying her hardest to say all her goodbyes, everyone listening in so they didn't miss one single thing their girl has to say before it's too late 

"anything, what do i need to promise, sav?" luke questions as he makes direct eye contact with the girl as she faintly smiles 

"please...please re...remind spencer how much i love him and that...i...i'm sorry that i broke my promise of us coming back home alive together..." savannah's entire body rattled as the bloody cough left her mouth and she continued, spencer's cries shaking the both of them as he holds her 

"...he...he needs to know that this was never my intention but that i...i don't regret what i did and the things i said to him before we came here. i really did want to step down from the team for a little bit and get married and then have a couple of kids and lay low until they were old enough for me to slowly start to come back. i'm just...i'm so sorry that spencer's never going to fulfil that life with the girl of his dreams which is how i know he saw me...i'm just sorry that he's lost another person in his life that he's loved," savannah grimaced as she felt her entire body become weaker as spencer bit his lip, trying to hold back another sob 

"but please...please promise spencer something..." savannah squeaked out again, luke nodding his head as everyone watched, struggling with their own emotions as well 

"what is it, bubs?" luke spoke up, his bottom lip trembling as he tried hold back tears and savannah smiled at the use of the team's universal nickname for her 

"i...i want you guys to promise spencer that, even though he can't have his true dream life with me, he can still have it with another girl that he falls in love with. i...i want him to get married to another girl, i want him to have kids with her, i...i want him to be happy. i want to be able to look down on him and see him laugh to the point where he's crying and i want him to cry so much that he doesn't have any more to cry but ends up laughing afterwards so it doesn't look like he's a wuss *tearful giggles* even though we all know he actually is, okay? i...i just want him to be happy after i'm gone, i don't want to die and then watch him let his life go to shit just because i'm gone, okay? can...could you promise that for me, luke?" savannah begged weakly as luke nodded his head, the rest of her team also nodding their heads promising to their best friend that they would make sure that their boy wonder doesn't end up wasting his life away 

"i promise bubs," luke whispered as savannah smiled before moving over to her boyfriend for one last verbal goodbye since she knew that the others didn't need a goodbye said to them, they all knew how much she meant to them and how much they meant to her

savannah suddenly panicked for a second because she couldn't see the camera or hear where penelope was in the same way she could with the rest of her team, "pen...penelope, where are you?" taking a breath before responding, penelope composed herself 

"i'm right here dollface, i'm still here, i haven't left you," penelope assured the dying girl who just squeaked back in response before directing herself towards her boyfriend, saying her final farewell to him

 "spencer, spence, spencaroo, my precious boy wonder. you've been my best friend my entire life and i thought i was going to marry you and have our future children someday. but i thought my life couldn't have been any better because i knew that with you by my side, i was invincible and i was able to do everything and anything i put my mind to..." it was quickly getting increasingly more difficult for savannah to talk but she didn't give up just yet

"...i cannot thank you enough for...for the happiness and life you brought to me every single day throughout our beautiful friendship and our relationship. have...having you as my boyfriend has been nothing but the best part of my life and i wish i could spend the rest of my days with you but, i can't and i am so beyond sorry that due to my own stupidity that i'm just another person in your life that you've gotten close with and had a precious relationship with only for me to just have it taken away from you again like all the other ones..." for once, spencer didn't feel like he was being abandoned, even though savannah was the one person he really didn't want to lose

"...i am so sorry that i won't be able to marry you or...or have beautiful kid wonders with you... i...i'm sorry that i'll never get to cuddle or kiss you again. i'm sorry that i'll never get to call you spence or spencaroo ever again...i'm sorry that i'll never get to make you breakfast and coffee in bed ever again. i'm...i'm also sorry that i had to do the one thing i promised you i'd never do. i am so sorry that i'm leaving you all...all alone after i promised you i never would...i'm so sorry spencer reid..." savannah was struggling, everyone could tell she was struggling but also that she was trying to hold on for just that little bit longer just in case the medics did end up arriving and got the agent to a hospital 

savannah's speech was slurring, she was choking on blood more frequently but trying to hide it by attempting to keep the coughing at a minimum and she was fighting her hardest to keep her eyes open for longer. and spencer was beside himself as he sobbed, his brain in a complete and utter mental breakdown, malfunctioning in overstimulation of emotions. his knowledge of statistics of what to do completely gone out of the window so he had nothing that could possibly provide him with any comfort. 

"why aren't you scared to die, sav? please...please don't die, sav! don't leave me!" spencer wept as he tried to hold savannah's dying, heavy body closer as savannah weakly and unattractively giggled

then, her mouth opened and she uttered her last words with the last part of whatever remaining strength she had left as everyone watched, tears leaving their eyes, penelope the only other team member weeping apart from spencer. 

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the FBI...if i was scared, i...i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" savannah croaked out, wanting to make her team laugh just one more time before her death 

her entire body all of a sudden relaxed in spencer's grip as her eyes closed, her mouth upturned into a small smile as her final breath came and went just as quickly as spencer had the time to comprehend savannah's last words. her last coherent sentence with that last burst of strength that she had accumulated out of god knows where. 

and straight away, everyone gulped and tears streamed down their faces as they remained silent and calm, spencer in frantic panic mode. everything he knew normally had suddenly gone flying out of the door, he was trying everything and anything he could to try and get savannah to wake up. shaking her, hitting her, yelling at her, spencer was trying every little thing he could, breaking FBI protocol. he was trying everything he could to force savannah to wake up. however, nothing was working because savannah's heart had stopped beating, her lungs stopped producing oxygen to her brain...savannah had just stopped entirely. 

"sav...sav, come on now! savannah! wake up!!" spencer screamed, his voice becoming louder and more distressed as he continued to shake the body of his deceased girlfriend to no avail as his sobs became louder and louder 

no one could watch this go on any longer so, luke took control, unable to stomach spencer's grievous screams and wails anymore. so, without a word or point of eye contact with matthew simmons, the two agents decided that matthew was going to pick up savannah and move her away to cover her up so the medics, who had only just now decided to show up could hand her to the coroner's office. luke then went over to calm down the distraught boy wonder who just wished that for once, his bloody girlfriend had hesitated to take off her bulletproof vest so that she didn't have to die from a stupid and easily avoidable gunshot wound to the chest. 

"spencer...spence...reid! stop it...just stop!" luke called out before he could get the screaming, thrashing and sobbing agent, his best friend to calm down and just stop

"luke...she...she's gone!" spencer wailed as he tried to pull out of luke's strong grip and the older agent nodded his head as he held the more experienced younger agent closer 

"i...i know spence, i know. i know she's gone and it hurts, it hurts like hell but, what sav said before she died is absolutely correct. she knew, just like we all did, what she was signing up for when she joined the FBI...when you both joined the FBI together and if she was scared, she would have already left. and now more than ever, we can't stop just because she's gone. we have to keep going because they're will always be another child or another innocent life that needs to be saved and another unsub that needs to be caught," luke tried his hardest to soothe the younger agent and calm him down but, there was no easier way of the comfort to console him 

spencer then became mad but he didn't say anything even though luke could sense that spencer wanted to question why on earth savannah did it but, he refrained from saying such a sentence because he could never totally question something his girlfriend did. especially if it was a matter of life and death and children were involved somehow. but, he just wished that savannah had paid more attention or at least kept her bulletproof vest on so that even if she was in this situation, she could have survived, even with the medics taking the sweet old jolly time as though they too weren't racing against the clock of life and death themselves. 

🚨

24 hours later and the BAU was still in sarasota, florida. the team were still needing to question marianna cunningham after she had been seen by the medics and formally arrested by the sarasota police and also question the little boy, jasper collins.

a visit to the medical examiner was also needed so they could check out the coroner's report of savannah to then add it into the report on it back home in quantico, virginia. it had also been a whole day since spencer had his girlfriend die in his arms, her blood still unwashed from his cream button-up shirt and grey coloured dress pants that he had worn the previous day.

the poor boy couldn't even fall asleep that night because he knew that the exact moment his eyelashes touched each other for even a blink, he'd go back to that moment. the moment he saw savannah being shot, the crimson liquid leaving her chest as he caught her, lowering the both of them down to the ground all over again.

whilst the rest of the team were finishing up marianna cunningham and jasper collins' case, spencer sat in the sarasota police departments bullpen in silence. even though he knew he was the smartest in that room after a regular case, because this case ended with him losing the love of his life, he wouldn't be the smartest nor the greatest deal of help. especially after having to witness the death of his girlfriend right in front of him.

all he would do if he even looked at the photo of his girlfriend, which had now been sticky taped next to the photos of the other victims of marianna's crimes, on the whiteboard. he would break down and cry hysterically and inconsolably. although it did get joked about a lot, this moment had truly shattered spencer's 187 IQ and the rest of his encyclopedic knowledge. he felt the most useless he had ever felt now that savannah was dead and it felt like he was all alone again.

on her way out of the rooms that had marianna and jasper detained, emily walked past spencer to check in on him. sliding down the wall, the raven-haired girl joined him, her legs folding over themselves as she slowly moved her hand closer to spencer's, when she saw no hesitation or signal for her to stop, she continued and linked her fingers with his. 

"...you're still thinking about sav, aren't you spence?" emily's voice was soft, understanding but filled with her own grief for her friend as spencer's lip trembled and he nodded his head, his eyes darting all around the sarasota bullpen 

"emily...i...i'm so tired but i know that if i go to sleep or even just close my eyes for a second, i... i'll watch sav...her...get shot again as i catch her, her blood covering my shirt and pants as i lower the both of us to the ground. how...how do i move on from her...how do i move on from this, em? i...i'm so lost and not a single statistic or smart remark that i'd normally have can save me...what do i do?" spencer's voice was quiet as tears that he thought had been cried all night last night trailed down his cheeks and he simply refused to close his eyes to stop them

emily takes in a big breath before she squeezes spencer's hand, "she knows that spence, but she also knows that you'd hate yourself even more, for the rest of your life, if you wasted your life away. savannah wants you to be happy and to someday leave the bau. she even made luke promise you that you would have kids, get married and have that grandiose house. just, with a different girl that's got you so head over heels and tied down to the point where even after three years of marriage, you still stutter your words and trip over your own feet because you're still so in love with her," emily spoke softly as she caressed spencer's trembling hands because she knew that everything she had just said, spencer wanted with savannah and now, he had to find with someone else? 

"she's allowing you to move on because she knows how miserable you'll be if you don't allow it for yourself," emily continues, a small smile on her face as spencer finally looks at her and nods his head timidly 

emily then got them both standing and she pulled him into a hug before whispering something into his ear. 

"sav loved and still loves you so much, spence. she may not have said it verbally but, she made the entire team promise her that we would make sure you find another girl. she even made luke promise her that he'd tell you that she does love you and how sorry she is that we couldn't all come back home alive," emily and spencer pulled out of the hug as she gave her friend one more comforting look and spencer nodded his head, speaking up softly 

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared...if i was scared, i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" he tearfully whispered, choking up on his words as he and emily giggled softly at the choice of words their fellow agent and girlfriend had picked for her last words reminding them that they'd never forget how comedic the young agent could be, even in what was a scary and heartbreaking moment 

fin

so many of my sad criminal minds fics are so similar to one another but, i just love them all the same for some demented reason lol.

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

panic room (alt ending) 💔🫶

pairing : bau team x platonic!fem ssa reader

summary : what if supervisory special agent alaia saint angelis survived peter saint angelis' torture chamber?

warnings : normal criminal minds warnings, torture, angst, loads of tears 

a/n : whilst i do love the original fic, i of course had to write an alternate ending of her surviving.

ssa alaia saint angelis knew she couldn't stand quietly and let this unsub get away with his crimes. however, with that, she really should have been more thought out with her decision-making skills. most especially as an fbi agent with the behavioural analysis unit.

yet, if agent saint angelis' decision was later questioned, it would be 100% defended by her team and say that whilst it could have absolutely been more thought out, her plan was still the most logical idea as well as the only way in which the unsub was going to meet his end as a serial killer.

now, in her almost ten years with the bau, alaia has been through many a torture chamber but none were as horrific as the one that currently had her hanging by her wrists which was attached to the top of the ceiling of an old warehouse. refusing to show the fear that she didn't have, she put her life on the line so many times at this point that it almost becomes something of a dark joke within the bau that acted like therapy and to make light of all the times the thirty-year-old had been kidnapped and tortured whilst on a case.

however, this torture was the one case that wouldn't ever be a laughable one, even in the far-off future. this was for sure the one case that alaia knew she wasn't going to come out of alive. this warehouse was the panic room that haunted alaia's dreams every single night. and this was with the constant denial to her fellow agents as well as herself regarding the nightmares she'd have about this warehouse.

the unsub that alaia and dr spencer reid, who was also her boyfriend, were tasked to capture was a 60-year-old male, just shy of 6ft tall with shaggy brown hair and dirty brown eyes that looked black at the right angle with the stench of a garbage collector. the unsub's name was peter saint angelis meaning he was related to the bau's youngest agent, alaia's paternal uncle.

it was this reason that had her throwing herself into the danger zone over the rest of her team. but, that didn't mean that alaia threw herself into that warehouse on her own, she had her boyfriend spencer with her as her second. she made a promise to her whole family that even if it killed her, it would be her that would disolve her uncle's 30-odd year reign of terror as a serial killer. restoring the safety to the wider state of virginia and country of united states of america.

"...why is it that you always have to sacrifice yourself for your team, alaia? is this something that gives you a buzz? an excitement?" the gruff voice of alaia's uncle peter made the girl's entire body shiver as she grunted, really showing off her body strength as she held herself up

"now i get it when non-american's tell us we're stupid. this is my job, of course it doesn't give me excitement!" the 30-year-old spat back, not wanting the niceties to be much longer, the man understanding that almost straight away

"how could i forget, alaia! you've always wanted to prove to the family that you could catch me and throw me away for my crimes. only taken thirty years to have anyone to match my intelligence clearly since you don't seem to mind that you'll be my final victory before getting locked up for good!" the man snarled as alaia dryly chuckled at her uncle, reminding her once again of his insanity

"i don't want to nor do i need to prove anything to anyone! i promised my family years ago, even before i joined the academy that i would find you and i would be the one to arrest you. and now that it's finally happening, i'm just happy that you're finally getting locked away for good! i was 19 then when i first joined and now i'm 30 and only one small thing has changed about that statement" alaia huffed out, her attitude really testing her uncle's patience, just like it did when she was younger as the older, grotesque man crossed his arms over, daring to challenge his fed niece

"okay then, enlighten me my dear niece, what's changed in the last 10 years, alaia saint angelis?" peter teased as alaia chuckled to herself, always up for the fun that was challenging her dad's older brother

"the fact i no longer care knowing that you'll kill me tonight before my team lock you away for the rest of your life. as long as the rest of my family are alive to see you be thrown into that dirty and unkept prision cell and finally have their chance to be heard and have justice brought to then, it doesn't bother me that i'll have died. because it'll mean that i died a hero and not for nothing, they'll know that it was me that saved our family and helped them get their justice for the crimes you've commited for 30 long years. a decision you made because you couldn't shut those little voices up in your head any longer, the voices getting so loud that you couldn't handle it any longer, unable to deal with them so you began to murder and torture people just for the fun of it because you are sick!" alaia spat, not caring at all that she was already covered in blood, blood that was dripping from her forehead and feet

the only thing she cared about was her family and all the other families finally getting the justice they deserved years ago. this was the moment when alaia wished that she had eidetic memory since she couldn't even remember that her own boyfriend had come with her into the warehouse, also getting caught by her uncle. though spencer was only restrained to a metal chair in front of her as he opened his eyes, making eye contact with the woman he loved.

a flash of memory then came across alaia as she moved to make eye contact with him. she knew he'd be just as terrified as she would be. wordlessly, without peter realising since he was distracted, alaia comforted spencer, letting him know that whilst it looked like it hurt from the way she was hanging by her hands, she was completely fine and that she was able to handle it. the moment that she got the confirmation head nod from spencer, she focused back to peter, who had seemed to suddenly remember also, that he had kept spencer restrained to a chair sitting right in front of alaia, whilst he had stood slightly off to the side.

"...huh, seems like you hadn't forgotten about spencer like i would have thought you did, i mean, i forgot about him for a second because of how quiet he is..." peter trailed off in a taunting voice as alaia rolled her eyes

when all of a sudden the sounds of the warehouse lights sounded, the burst of light making both agents turn away due to how bright it was and how their eyes still needed adjustment.

"...of course, i didn't, you douchebag! now, what are you going to do to him, peter?" alaia started to slightly panic but didn't show it, hoping the team, whilst wired and connected, were still close by

as well as able to have the opportunity and chance of rescuing spencer, her worry not even about her.

"absolutely nothing, alaia. i mean, it's not like i've forgotten, nor has spencer, the speech you screeched to me and anyone who cares to watch this live feed at the beginning of this whole ordeal..."

"...but in case you have forgotten, let me remind you. you screamed for spencer not to be hurt nor touched and i haven't. i haven't laid a single finger on dr reid and i won't because i'll be too focused on disfiguring you to the point you're unidentifiable to even think about giving that squib a second look..." peter trailed off, spencer letting out a wrangled cry which made the uncle and niece snap their heads

peter moving closer to his niece to move a strang of her hair behind her ear. alaia immediately trying to console spencer. even the most experienced law enforcement officers and fbi agents got scared.

"..ssh, spence, please, it's okay! i'm okay, i promise, he hasn't hurt me!" alaia tries to convince her boyfriend that the torture wasn't painful at all as spencer could only trust her since she hadn't screamed once

"she's right pipe cleaner, she hasn't screamed. not once, not since she begged on her knees for me to hurt her instead of you..." peter's voice was no longer a snicker but monotone which was even worse

spencer's mind relaying that moment back in his head. he had never seen his girlfriend beg like that in their entire time at the bau together and neither had the rest of the team. they were watching this happen via the live feed that penelope hacked into after getting the link by peter since he knew they'd try to hack into it anyway.

🚨

"...please, peter, i beg of you, take me instead and leave spencer alone! torture me, whatever it is you want, do it to me cause i can take it! spencer and the rest of my team have done nothing wrong to deserve this, keep your hands off of all of them, not just spencer!" she begged, tears almost welling in her eyes as she fought against them

she had never sounded so sure but pained at the same time as she saw her uncle drift closer to her boyfriend as though a taunt to his niece. in her almost decade of serving as a federal agent with the fbi's behavioural analysis unit, ssa alaia saint angelis had never begged an unsub for anything. let alone for her boyfriend ssa dr spencer reid to be spared by the unsub.

the rest of spencer and alaia's team; derek morgan, emily prentiss, jennifer (jj) jareau, penelope garcia, david rossi and aaron hotchner watched the security camera live footage with anxiety and uncertainty for their two youngest members. the team was usually so fearless so whenever something bad happened to either spencer or alaia, the team was always at their most vulnerable. the girls had tears blurring their vision and the guys held their tears and their anger as the team sat in silence. none of them making a sound as they watched the live feed that had been sent to penelope for this very reason. making the team's blood boil.

peter was still not budging on his niece's pleas to leave spencer alone. neither spencer nor alaia had been restrained as yet as they had just arrived but peter had already thrown things at them and given both of them minor concussions.

if it took alaia begging on her knees to get peter away from spencer, she would do anything to make sure he stayed safe. and that's what she did. getting down to her knees, alaia raised her hands in the air and placed her gun from its holster and discarded it to the floor. begging her uncle to leave her boyfriend alone and to take her as his hostage, torturing her so that her boyfriend would be safe and sound. having more of a chance of making it out alive even if it meant alaia losing her life.

"come on peter, please! stay away from spencer, don't even think of going near him. torture me and use all your toys because you'll have so much more fun hurting me then you would hurting spencer. please, let me take spencer's place, he has so much more life left to live and new things to research and find out about life. he...he has to take care of his mom, he has to find a cure for her! please, leave him alone!" alaia begged again, this time on her knees as peter finally caved, his mind changed as alaia eased

however, that didn't stop peter from shoving and tying spencer into a chair, right in front of the chains that were about to suspend alaina into the air.

spencer had never felt or seen such fear in his life until this moment in front of him. it wasn't even him being tied up to the chair that terrified him. the thing that scared him the most was having to watch the love of his life, the girl he wanted to marry be tortured and killed right in front of him with a front row seat to the show. their team also helplessly watching, their fellow agent being killed by someone who once loved her and who once would do anything in his means to protect her.

"alaia, what are you doing?" spencer whimpered, his voice unable to mask just how afraid he was, alaia smiling softly

"i'm saving your life, spence. i can't let you die, you mean way too much to me. you've been through so much and it's time i received some pain, i'm lessening the load," alaia smiled, keeping up her strength as peter drew ever so closer to his niece so he could start assembling the torture machine

peter then grabbing her and chucking her against a wall. spencer and the team flinching as they watched, the noise alaia's body made as it connected with the wall wasn't good at all. more blood beginning to pool at the back of her head, matching the blood that now trickled down her forehead from the force of the push.

the metal chains loudly clasped her hands above her head as she hung with her feet no longer touching the ground beneath her as she remained tough and unafraid. a smile suddenly formed on the young agent's face as she suddenly giggled at how unflattering this pose must have looked to spencer and the team at the angle they were watching it at. saying it in a way to make the horrific situation more comedic, however, it of course didn't land as well as she wanted it to land.

"this pose must look very unflattering to you guys right now..." alaia giggled suddenly as she then looked down, the mortified look of her boyfriend, spencer, as well as her team who she couldn't see, didn't find it as comedic as she thought they would have

halting her laughter, alaia quietly gulped, not knowing what else she could say to fill the suddenly eerie silence that fell throughout the abandoned warehouse. peter ignoring the exchange as he continued to set up his torture chamber.

🚨

alaia's begs to save spencer in replacement for her was working. she smiled to herself that her boyfriend was safe, though he was having to watch his girlfriend be tortured right in front of him whilst restrained, he was safe.

no more than a second longer did peter wait before his homemade torture equipment was powered up before it started to tear into and shock alaia's body. the equipment varied from kitchen appliances like knives and screwdrivers and forks to none kitchen appliances like ice picks, and a baseball bat.

an electric wire would end up being bound around alaia's legs as well as other things that burnt into the agent's skin. alaia's entire body was being torn into and was on fire however that gorgeous, loving, caring, bright smile remained etched on her face. not once letting it falter or letting herself scream out in pain for her uncle to switch the torture equipment off.

alaia knew that it bothered her uncle immensely that she wasn't reacting to the torture. she knew he always thrived off the pain of his victims. yet she'd always been known to have the physical and mental strength from the beginning of her life to be able to withstand whatever he tortured her with. so, alaia could tell that her uncle was a firecracker about to explode and about set the whole warehouse ablaze because he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted from his victim.

however, peter wasn't stupid. he was still smart enough to figure out the possible weakness of his niece and that was seeing her boyfriend weak and freak out. alaia's kryptonite was seeing her boyfriend or anyone she loved in pain. whether it was seeing them cry, sick or in pain, seeing anyone but spencer especially in some sort of pain made alaia vulnerable.

it was most definitely her biggest weakness but it was never something to worry about. this was the first time an unsub had a personal connection to one of the agents. so, that was when peter decided to use it against his niece to see how she'd react by turning up the level of pain on the equipment that she was hooked up to. which of course effectively made spencer thrash around in his seat, crying out for peter to stop.

the rest of the team barely able to continue watching as peter turned up the dial on the power grid and they heard it. spencer's screeches for peter to stop. the worst part of all of it was that penelope and the rest of the team were still nowhere near close enough to finding the goddamn adandoned warehouse in downtown virginia.

"alaia! peter, stop it...please, leave her alone! you've done enough, you've hurt her enough! she's bleeding, peter! please, peter....put...put her down! you're hurting her! please...stop...peter!" spencer sobbed, the hot tears streaming down his face as he thrashed around in the restrains that were stopping him from saving her himself

"spence, please, it's okay! it doesn't hurt, i promise, i can't even feel a single thing!" alaia attempted to comfort her devastated boyfriend as peter groaned

both his plans of inflicting the most pain on his niece and making her scream and cry weren't working and it pissed him off. so, that was when he decided he needed to go a step further and bring out the big guns

"is it bad that she can't feel it, hotch?" jj questioned, the tears she had fought hard to keep at bay streamed her cheeks

her head turned away, no longer looking at the screen but at her unit chief, aaron hotchner, the man not knowing how to respond.

"i...i don't know jj but, just trust alania. trust that she knows what she's doing," hotch gulped nervously, only praying that his not-so full proof statement was correct

unable to know how he'd react if one of his beloved agents didn't make it out of this dangeorus situation alive. let alone if she was safe, especially after he promised that he would keep her safe.

whilst hotch was correct that alaia knew what she was doing, it still didn't mean that the hope for alaia to come out of this torture alive was a strong hope. it looked as though in the small slither of alaia making it out alive, she'd be fighting for life in a hospital bed for at least a couple of weeks. then suddenly it seemed, out of nowhere, everything happened so quickly.

it was as though the team and spencer had just blinked before they heard a gunshot ring through the warehouse. spencer's heartwrenching screams from his gut followed shortly after as he helplessly tried tried to free himself from his restraints to shoot peter.

from the time it had taken the rest of the team to locate the banged up industrial warehouse that peter was commiting his murders in, it felt like time had slowed down. it literally felt as though spencer had only blinked before one more shot rang out. derek and emily had rushed in within seconds, derek delivering the shot that shattered peter's leg, slowing the aging man so the arrest would be easier.

emily then quickly rushed over to spencer to untie him from the restraints. however the only thing that accomplished was spencer collapsing to his knees as more sobs and screams left his mouth. derek moved to see if he could discover a pulse from alaia. in his desolate world, spencer thought the worst and that peter's quick and sneaky gunshot trick had killed alaia. emily tried her best to console spencer and it seemed as though the only thing that could console him was the possibility of a miracle. a miracle for alaia to have survived.

it was as though the angels, saints and gods had heard the cries and pleads because morgan did find alaia's pulse. whilst it was weak, it was still a pulse and alaia still had a chance of survival meaning that peter had not won. pulling out of the hug with spencer, prentiss had figured it out from morgan's relieved smile whilst he spoke to the medics on the scene about how they needed to be careful in releasing alaia from her restraints. alaia had a pulse and still had a chance and immediately, prentiss knew she had to tell spencer. knowing that even the weakest pulse would be the best news for spencer to hear.

"...spence, i need you to look at me. derek is with alaia right now with the medics, a pulse was found. alaia is still alive, she still has a chance of recovering, okay?" emily whispers to her distraught agent who perks up slightly

"wait...what? she...she's alive?" spencer stammered, his voice scared and hoarse from his screaming and crying as emily smiles small and nods her head

pulling spencer in for another hug, she reassures him, "yes, spence but she does need to be transported to a nearby hospital for treatment. what peter put her through isn't just something that's a quick healer," emily whispers as spencer nodded his head, sniffling softly as he tried to wipe the tears off of his cheeks 

the rest of the bau had been called into the scene now that peter had been seized and taken into police custody to then be later interviewed. rossi and hotch rushed over to spencer, to take him to safety, which was the awaiting ambulance that was going to patch up the lesions and lacerations on his wrists, and ankles from being tied up to the chair and the cut on his forehead from the concussion he had received. 

emily, jj and derek then had the worst task of all and that was having to turn off every single piece of equipment used by peter over his 30-year reign of torturous terror. including on his own niece in his victim pool. the agents having to wait a couple of minutes so they wouldn't blow themselves up or the entire rusting building. then, after everything had cooled down, derek who was the strongest out of the three agents was able to release the agent from the ceiling restraints. derek also carrying her out to the ambulance to then be transprted to the hospital. and that was where they hoped they could keep her alive and heal her.

aaron and david, with spencer in tow, were now walking over to the second ambulance. managing to successfully coerce the boy genius into getting properly checked out by the medics. making sure his superficial injuries were purely just that and weren't at the risk of infection. usually in a situation like this, spencer would be fighting tooth and nail to be by his girlfriend's side. however, this time, he was way too weak to even scream anymore. let alone even try to fight or cry to be placed into the same ambulance, which had now already taken off to the nearest hospital anyway. aaron and david carefully walking with spencer out of the warehouse and to the ambulance. watching as the other one that carried alaia sped down the street with lights flashing and sirens screeching for the entire block to hear.

"...reid, are you alright?" hotch questions his fellow agent, the younger paying the chief no attention, the only thing he could think about was alaia and whether or not she would stay alive

"hmm?" the younger agent hums as he finally faces hotch's worried look before responding for a second time

"i...i'm just...i hope alaia's okay," spencer sighed tearfully as he meddled with his fingers to keep himself occupied as hotch sighed softly as he sat down next to the boy genius

"we all wish the same thing, reid. but, she's a strong girl, she'll be able to recover and she'll be back on the field with us in no time," hotch smiled softly, placing his hand on the upset boy's shoulder to provide some form of comfort that wasn't too invasive 

"i just...why...why did she have to throw herself in the middle of peter's torture over me? i...i could have handled it too..." spencer trailed off, even though he knew he was lying due to how he reacted watching alaia go through it

he knew there was truly no way he could have handled that torture any better if it was him hanging by his hands and, hotch knew that as well.

"...reid, she put herself in danger because of how much she loves you. i know that you two have said those words to each other and this is why she knew she had to throw herself in danger. because she loves you and she also didn't want anyone, even if the person was related to her, to cause you any harm. she'd rather get hurt by her own family than let them hurt you. she'd always put herself above you because she loves you and would do anything to protect you from the horrors that those in her family can show," the unit chief explains to the boy wonder who sniffled as tears still streamed his cheeks

nodding his head, spencer finally understood why alaia did what she did in place of him and it was all thanks to hotch's explanation.

"oh..." spencer sniffled before looking down at his pair of converse that was now very dirty and needed cleaning 

"we're about to take the suvs to the hospital, do you wanna come with us, spencer?" hotch then asks, spencer's head shoots right up, a hint of a smile on his lips as he nods his head

hotch then smiles at the way spencer stands up to walk back to their fbi issued sport issued vehicles so they could drive to the hospital. whilst he didn't have his pep in his step like normal, he was still able to carry himself without his feet coming from underneath him like they were moments earlier. which, was a very good sign not just for the medics but also for the rest of the team to see that spencer no longer needed someone to help him walk. 

🚨

from the outside, spencer looked as calm as you could look in a hospital waiting room. however, you didn't have to be a profiler to see that his body language was completely different to the calm look on his face. his right leg was bouncing, he was twiddling his fingers and his eyes couldn't stay in the same spot for more than a couple of seconds.

he would also slightly flinch whenever a doctor walked past the group and he stayed silent and didn't want to talk to anybody. he was absolutely losing his mind on the inside which was identifiable by small idiosyncrasies in spencer's body language that he couldn't ever hide from anyone on the outside. 

"family of supervisory special agent alaia saint angelis?" a nurse calls out, spencer immediately standing up alongside the rest of the team, all of them just hoping that she was okay 

"i...i'm her boyfriend, umm, her parents are out of state but her siblings are on a plane as we speak right now to virginia. so...is...is she okay?" spencer stammered out, the nurse smiling softly, for it wasn't her first rodeo dealing with federal agents and their families 

"due to all of her injuries, theoretically, she shouldn't be alive right now..." the experienced nurse trailed off which made the group absolutely terrified, tears building in spencer's eyes yet again after he had only just managed to cease the crying 

"...however, defying all of my team's odds, agent saint angelis is completely fine. she'll need a few more blood transfusions due to how much blood she lost from the two head injuries and the gunshot wound but other than that, all her injuries have been tended to and stitched up..."

"...she is, however, asleep and a bit high on some pain medication but you guys are more than welcome to visit her. she has full recollection of who she is, her job, what happened to her, where she is and you guys. not that amnesia was anything that worried us but, just in case it worried you guys due to her head injuries, i'd thought it'd be something worth mentioning," the nurse explained, a small smile covering her face as everyone exhaled as tears streamed down spencer's cheeks out of pure relief that his girlfriend was okay and that she had, in fact, survived  

the nurse had started walking back to alaia's room when hotch ushered for spencer to follow her, "go, spencer, we'll visit alaia later!" nodding his head, spencer sniffled before following the nurse as she led the two of them to alaia's hospital room 

it was as if he could feel his heart drop to the floor. he hadn't ever seen his girlfriend look so peaceful yet in so much pain at the same time. no matter how many times she had told spencer that she wasn't in pain, they both knew it was due to the adrenaline pumping through her veins. at the time whilst she didn't feel anything, she knew she would eventually begin to feel it since it wasn't her first rodeo on the torture train.

sniffling as quietly as he could, he hesitantly walked over to the hospital bed, "hello sweetheart," spencer couldn't help but feel bad as though his heart had been stomped on 

without thinking, spencer grabbed alaia's hand that laid backside down, palm up, against her hospital bed and just started muttering apology after apology repeatedly until he had found himself falling exhausted and then shortly thereafter, asleep. 

🚨

mumbling and slightly restless, alaia found her eyes fluttering open and looking around as she tried to recognise the surroundings of the hospital room and the person who was loosely holding her hand.

she couldn't hide the smile that formed on her face at seeing her boyfriend sleeping and looking so flustered and adorable. spencer's hair was messy, his hand was holding alaia's and his head and some of his body was resting on the empty part of the slightly large bed that alaia was laying in.

with a slight squeeze of his hand from alaia, spencer's head shot right up. his eyes widening and his pupils dilating, loose tears still trickling down his cheeks.

"al..alaia? sweetheart, you're...you're awake!" spencer whispered frantically as she smiled small and pouted as she watched the new and old tears that littered her boyfriend's face 

she smiled with a small groan, prompting spencer to get up to get the nurse. erratically wiping his face of the tears he'd seemed to be crying all night, he went to get the nurse. 

"i'm just going to grab the nurse and tell them you're awake. i love you lia," spencer whispered as alaia nodded her head, a small smile on her lips as she watched spencer leave the room with the slightest pep in his step

no less than a minute later, the nurse came in and after the rest of the blood transfusions, and some visits from the team, alaia was cleared to be discharged from the hospital. with the exception of returning in a week's time to remove her stitches, it seemed like alaia made herself and the rest of her team promise to each other to steer clear of hospitals now...

at least for a little while. 

🚨

a month had quickly passed since peter saint angelis' trial wrapping up and he was now serving 25-life sentences. that along with the possibility of being placed on death row due to the consideration of him possibly being extradiated back to his original hometown outside of virgina. where the death penalty was legalised.

it haunted the minds of the bau team to think about the fact that they nearly lost alaia during that case. and it was all due to how unstable and sick her serial killer uncle actually was. they're usually prepared for everything and anything but they were not prepared for how erratic and unstabled that man was. especially since he was so different to the rest of alaia's family, meeting them throughout alaia's service with the team.

yet no one was more haunted by that case than spencer. he couldn't control nor help it when his mind would go back to that day. the trial date especially when his girlfriend had to take the stand. testifying against the serial killer that was once her loving and happy uncle on the things he did to her. all in the hopes that he would kill her and come out with one last final victim before his 30-year reign of terror was finished.

spencer wept that day as he listened as his girlfriend took the stand and testified. spencer wasn't the only one, derek cried, aaron cried. as did emily, jj and penelope. but for spencer, this was something that would haunt his nightmares for years to come.

"...agent saint angelis, what did peter saint angelis do to you?" the high judge questioned, a worried look planted on his face as the young agent gulped

still not able to mentally comprehend that she was having to say it out loud. she knew she wasn't ready, when would anyone ever be ready to testify against their abuser? but alaia knew this was her only chance to finally have that man locked up forever.

"peter had me suspended in the air, by my wrists that were tied together by rope, at that point my legs weren't at all tied up but i guess they were at some point as they were very red...and itchy. as though they had been burnt by something or lacerated. i...um, i was struck by a baseball bat, stabbed with an ice pick and a couple of butchers knives. i recall there being an eletric wire at some stage that electrocuted me which i think is what my feet ended up being bound by at one point. which is why i think explained the red and itchiness of my feet as though they'd been burnt..." alaia felt ashamed as she testified, all of these things making her feel like she wasn't able to save herself

"...and then...he shot me in the stomach, not so much at point blank range but not that far from it. and this was something when my team and i were discussing in our victimology and his modus operandi, we never came to the realisation that after he had tortured his victims that he would shoot them and that being their cause of death. the other police departments that were put on this case before my fbi team hadn't seemed to make the connection about the gunshot wounds to the stomach either. that was until i was placed into that situation and my partner, ssa dr spencer reid had watched it happen that we finally realised it was this fatal and final torture device, a single gunshot wound to the stomach that was the main cause of death for the victims...i...i think..." alaia suddenly trailed off, she had been doing brilliant until something or someone caught her attention

this someone scaring her, making her unable to continue as she suddenly felt the burning eyes of her uncle watching her from his locked up defendant box.

"...you can continue agent, mr saint angelis cannot do anything to harm you. he is locked in his box, all he can do is stare at you and try to scare you. he is only trying to elicit a reaction, it's a scare tactic that all criminals do which you would be very familiar with. you can continue, darling," the judge spoke calmly, letting alaia know she could continue and was safe to continue, reminding her that she was safe 

"thanks your honour...um, what i was going to say was, i think from the differences in equipment that he used in this specfic case over his 30 years of terror, this wasn't the first time i had been exposed to it..." alaia paused, this was a new piece of evidence that could further peter saint angelis' guilt and crimes

the rest of her team gave her looks of shock. this was the first time they were hearing anything about the possibility of this torture happening to her before.

the judge swallowed, his eyes wide before speaking, "what else has your uncle done to you, sweetheart?" completely disregarding alaia's professional title and any sort of court ruling, the judge was worried for the young agent 

"when...when i was a teenager and still allowed to visit him, i would stay over at his house. i'd have my own room, my own bed. my own wardrobe. heck, i had a whole section of the house to myself everytime i visited him. it was why i loved him so much and why i claimed to everyone in the family that he was my favourite uncle growing up..." she trailed off before continuing as the judge listened

"...it was late one night and it was just me and uncle peter at his house. we were watching a movie together, can't remember which one but, he was so immersed in it and i wasn't that i got up and walked away because i hated it. it had taken me until that moment that i realised the movie was very gross and almost pornographic. i was on my way back to my room when i caught a glimpse of uncle peter's basement..."

"...and that was when i saw it...the bloody clothes of his last victim before it almost became me. i don't even know why i was visiting uncle peter since i'm an adult and no longer feel the need to stay over at the houses of my relatives unless they require their kids being babysat and need a safe person. of course, because of my job, everyone in my family with kids straight away thinks of me. but, i don't know why uncle peter invited me over that night or why i even accepted his offer. i'd been having suspicions for years since maybe high school and the beginning of FBI academy that maybe uncle peter wasn't who he said he was. however, i always brushed it off thinking i was going insane until that day that i saw those bloody clothes in his basement..."

"...what did you do after you noticed those clothes in the basement, agent saint angelis?" the judge questioned as alaia's eyes widened as though it scared her all over again

"...i...i tried to run...i tried to explain to uncle peter that i had forgot that i had invited my team over for a movie night but, he stopped me before i even had the chance to escape..." alaia's voice came out numb as she froze as the judge sucked in a breath before asking his next question

"...what happened after that, agent? did the defendant hurt you physically or sexually?" he questioned as alaia's lip shook as tears began to well in her eyes

"for years, uncle peter would touch me in...in places that made me feel gross and uncomfortable. even in adulthood, even after joining the fbi and bau, he would find his way into my house after i stopped visiting him...even when i moved and changed the locks he still found a way..." alaia's voice shook as the judge was shocked, this man had a whole web of things that he did, more than just the tortures and killings

"...that was how he figured out that me and my team had caught him and were actively searching for him. i had provided some samples of my own clothes as well as the bloodied clothes of the victim i found in his basement..."

"...and what were the results, agent?" the judge dared to ask as alaia shut her eyes and turned her head away

"...the fibers on my clothes and the clothes of the victim i found were a match that led us straight to uncle peter..."

"...were these fibers the same fibers that were found on the door knobs of all the houses you moved to whilst you were running away from the defendant?" the judge asks as alaia nods her head

"yes your honour...his...his fibers were also found on...on me..." alaia's breath was shaky as she revealed that as the judge hated the next question he had to ask

"...did he ever rape you, agent saint angelis?" the judge questioned, hating it since it had been alluded to the entire time alaia had been testifying

"yes...your honour..." alaia was quiet and ashamed as her head looked down to the floor as tears spilled down her cheeks

"...was it over the course of your childhood and adulthood or just once?" the judge asked again as alaia sniffled before responding

"as a kid, it was very regular since i'd visit him up to three to four times a week but as i got older, one day, he just stopped..." alaia struggled to explain as the judge was afraid to ask

"when did the raping end, agent saint angelis?" spencer closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he heard the judge ask another question

"the day i joined the bau, your honour," alaia whispered as she couldn't bare to look anyone in the eyes as her team all cried silently

"did you ever find out why he stopped or were you just grateful that he had finally stopped and was no longer hurting you, especially knowing that you were now a federal agent at that point?" the judge almost cried as he asked that question as alaia finally had the courage to look into the eyes of her team, her unit chief and spencer specifically

"i...i didn't think to ask because i knew i wouldn't see him again for years after and i...i was just so relieved that it was finally over. i no longer had to rub my skin raw and red to feel clean again that i just didn't ask him why. and i just didn't tell anyone because...because i knew i couldn't tell my team since reid and i had only just started and they'd straight away start asking questions. my family...if i told my family, they'd know straight away that uncle peter had something to do with it..." alaia's voice wobbled a little but refused to let herself cry again as the judge nodded his head

"...agent saint angelis, even though he's taken away your childhood, your adulthood and further tortured and abused you and those you love, you still refer to him as your uncle. why would you degrade yourself like that all for a man that wasn't your uncle in the first place but a serial killer and torturer?" the judge felt sick to his stomach, why did alaia degrade herself so low for her uncle? at this stage, he didn't even deserve that title and hadn't for years

alaia smiled sadly as she huffed, finally having the courage to face her uncle, staring straight into his souls. tears no longer filling her eyes as she just hoped what she would say next would just get through to the man who caused so much pain and trauma to so many people.

"because...as much as he doesn't deserve it, he is still my uncle. and there is still that little 3-year-old alaia somewhere in me who loves her uncle peter. and somwhere, inside of that horrible man, there is the uncle peter who loved his niece and did everything in his power to protect her from people like him..."

despite the pain and heartbreak peter saint angelis had caused to so many people, his own family included, alaia couldn't help it. she couldn't help it but still find that little girl that still lived inside of adult alaia saint angelis who loved her uncle.

whilst he caused so much pain, hurt and trauma for the abuse, murders and tortures over 30-years, he was still a man who was once a family man. a man who once truly cared and loved his family, putting his life on the line to protect them. but, that also ended up being his downfall as that was the whole reason he turned into the monster that became him. and why he was now in jail for the rest of his life or until his death row sentence. and this was something that comforted the bau, the saint angelis family and every other family who had been affected by peter's crimes.

fin

part two is now completed! wowzers that was a lot but once again, very proud of this rewrite for tumblr and i hope you guys also enjoy it. especially after part one took ages to finish.

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

panic room💔

pairing : bau team x platonic!fem ssa reader

summary : agent alaia saint angelis is murdered by an unsub who just happens to be someone a little too close to home

warnings : murder, guns, blood, crying, character death, torture, grief

a/n : reworking this for my new criminal minds tumblr is a dream tbh and it sounds so cheesy!

ssa alaia saint angelis knew she couldn't stand quietly and let this unsub get away with his crimes. however, with that, she really should have been more thought out with her decision-making skills. most especially as an fbi agent with the behavioural analysis unit.

yet, if agent saint angelis' decision was later questioned, it would be 100% defended by her team and say that whilst it could have absolutely been more thought out, her plan was still the most logical idea as well as the only way in which the unsub was going to meet his end as a serial killer.

now, in her almost ten years with the bau, alaia has been through many a torture chamber but none were as horrific as the one that currently had her hanging by her wrists which was attached to the top of the ceiling of an old warehouse. refusing to show the fear that she didn't have, she put her life on the line so many times at this point that it almost becomes something of a dark joke within the bau that acted like therapy and to make light of all the times the thirty-year-old had been kidnapped and tortured whilst on a case.

however, this torture was the one case that wouldn't ever be a laughable one, even in the far-off future. this was for sure the one case that alaia knew she wasn't going to come out of alive. this warehouse was the panic room that haunted alaia's dreams every single night. and this was with the constat denial to her fellow agents as well as herself regarding the nightmares she'd have about this warehouse.

the unsub that alaia and dr spencer reid, who was also her boyfriend, were tasked to capture was a 60-year-old male, just shy of 6ft tall with shaggy brown hair and dirty brown eyes that looked black at the right angle with the stench of a garbage collector. the unsub's name was peter saint angelis meaning he was related to the bau's youngest agent, alaia's paternal uncle.

it was this reason that had her throwing herself into the danger zone over the rest of her team. but, that didn't mean that alaia threw herself into that warehouse on her own, she had her boyfriend spencer with her as her second. she made a promise to her whole family that even if it killed her, it would be her that would disolve her uncle's 30-odd year reign of terror as a serial killer. restoring the safety to the wider state of virginia and country of united states ofd america.

"...why is it that you always have to sacrifice yourself for your team, alaia? is this something that gives you a buzz? an excitement?" the gruff voice of alaia's uncle peter made the girl's entire body shiver as she grunted, really showing off her body strength as she held herself up

"now i get it when non-american's tell us we're stupid. this is my job, of course it doesn't give me excitement!" the 30-year-old spat back, not wanting the niceties to be much longer, the man understanding that almost straight away

"how could i forget, alaia! you've always wanted to prove to the family that you could catch me and throw me away for my crimes. only taken thirty years to have anyone to match my intelligence clearly since you don't seem to mind that you'll be my final victory before getting locked up for good!" the man snarled as alaia dryly chuckled at her uncle, reminding her once again of his insanity

"i don't want to nor do i need to prove anything to anyone! i promised my family years ago, even before i joined the academy that i would find you and i would be the one to arrest you. and now that it's finally happening, i'm just happy that you're finally getting locked away for good! i was 19 then when i first joined and now i'm 30 and only one small thing has changed about that statement" alaia huffed out, her attitude really testing her uncle's patience, just like it did when she was younger as the older, grotesque man crossed his arms over, daring to challenge his fed niece

"okay then, enlighten me my dear niece, what's changed in the last 10 years, alaia saint angelis?" peter teased as alaia chuckled to herself, always up for the fun that was challenging her dad's older brother

"the fact i no longer care knowing that you'll kill me tonight before my team lock you away for the rest of your life. as long as the rest of my family are alive to see you be thrown into that dirty and unkept prision cell and finally have their chance to be heard and have justice brought to then, it doesn't bother me that i'll have died. because it'll mean that i died a hero and not for nothing, they'll know that it was me that saved our family and helped them get their justice for the crimes you've commited for 30 long years. a decision you made because you couldn't shut those little voices up in your head any longer, the voices getting so loud that you couldn't handle it any longer, unable to deal with them so you began to murder and torture people just for the fun of it because you are sick!" alaia spat, not caring at all that she was already covered in blood, blood that was dripping from her forehead and feet

the only thing she cared about was her family and all the other families finally getting the justice they deserved years ago. this was the moment when alaia wished that she had eidetic memory since she couldn't even remember that her own boyfriend had come with her into the warehouse, also getting caught by her uncle. though spencer was only restrained to a metal chair in front of her as he opened his eyes, making eye contact with the woman he loved.

a flash of memory then came across alaia as she moved to make eye contact with him. she knew he'd be just as terrified as she would be. wordlessly, without peter realising since he was distracted, alaia comforted spencer, letting him know that whilst it looked like it hurt from the way she was hanging by her hands, she was completely fine and that she was able to handle it. the moment that she got the confirmation head nod from spencer, she focused back to peter, who had seemed to suddenly remember also, that he had kept spencer restrained to a chair sitting right in front of alaia, whilst he had stood slightly off to the side.

"...huh, seems like you hadn't forgotten about spencer like i would have thought you did, i mean, i forgot about him for a second because of how quiet he is..." peter trailed off in a taunting voice as alaia rolled her eyes

when all of a sudden the sounds of the warehouse lights sounded, the burst of light making both agents turn away due to how bright it was and how their eyes still needed adjustment.

"...of course, i didn't, you douchebag! now, what are you going to do to him, peter?" alaia started to slightly panic but didn't show it, hoping the team, whilst wired and connected, were still close by

as well as able to have the opportunity and chance of rescuing spencer, her worry not even about her.

"absolutely nothing, alaia. i mean, it's not like i've forgotten, nor has spencer, the speech you screeched to me and anyone who cares to watch this live feed at the beginning of this whole ordeal..."

"...but in case you have forgotten, let me remind you. you screamed for spencer not to be hurt nor touched and i haven't. i haven't laid a single finger on dr reid and i won't because i'll be too focused on disfiguring you to the point you're unidentifiable to even think about giving that squib a second look..." peter trailed off, spencer letting out a wrangled cry which made the uncle and niece snap their heads

peter moving closer to his niece to move a strang of her hair behind her ear. alaia immediately trying to console spencer. even the most experienced law enforcement officers and fbi agents got scared.

"..ssh, spence, please, it's okay! i'm okay, i promise, he hasn't hurt me!" alaia tries to convince her boyfriend that the torture wasn't painful at all as spencer could only trust her since she hadn't screamed once

"she's right pipe cleaner, she hasn't screamed. not once, not since she begged on her knees for me to hurt her instead of you..." peter's voice was no longer a snicker but monotone which was even worse

spencer's mind relaying that moment back in his head. he had never seen his girlfriend beg like that in their entire time at the bau together and neither had the rest of the team. they were watching this happen via the live feed that penelope hacked into after getting the link by peter since he knew they'd try to hack into it anyway.

🚨

"...please, peter, i beg of you, take me instead and leave spencer alone! torture me, whatever it is you want, do it to me cause i can take it! spencer and the rest of my team have done nothing wrong to deserve this, keep your hands off of all of them, not just spencer!" she begged, tears almost welling in her eyes as she fought against them

she had never sounded so sure but pained at the same time as she saw her uncle drift closer to her boyfriend as though a taunt to his niece. in her almost decade of serving as a federal agent with the fbi's behavioural analysis unit, ssa alaia saint angelis had never begged an unsub for anything. let alone for her boyfriend ssa dr spencer reid to be spared by the unsub.

the rest of spencer and alaia's team; derek morgan, emily prentiss, jennifer (jj) jareau, penelope garcia, david rossi and aaron hotchner watched the security camera live footage with anxiety and uncertainty for their two youngest members. the team was usually so fearless so whenever something bad happened to either spencer or alaia, the team was always at their most vulnerable. the girls had tears blurring their vision and the guys held their tears and their anger as the team sat in silence. none of them making a sound as they watched the live feed that had been sent to penelope for this very reason. making the team's blood boil.

peter was still not budging on his niece's pleas to leave spencer alone. neither spencer nor alaia had been restrained as yet as they had just arrived but peter had already thrown things at them and given both of them minor concussions.

if it took alaia begging on her knees to get peter away from spencer, she would do anything to make sure he stayed safe. and that's what she did. getting down to her knees, alaia raised her hands in the air and placed her gun from its holster and discarded it to the floor. begging her uncle to leave her boyfriend alone and to take her as his hostage, torturing her so that her boyfriend would be safe and sound. having more of a chance of making it out alive even if it meant alaia losing her life.

"come on peter, please! stay away from spencer, don't even think of going near him. torture me and use all your toys because you'll have so much more fun hurting me then you would hurting spencer. please, let me take spencer's place, he has so much more life left to live and new things to research and find out about life. he...he has to take care of his mom, he has to find a cure for her! please, leave him alone!" alaia begged again, this time on her knees as peter finally caved, his mind changed as alaia eased

however, that didn't stop peter from shoving and tying spencer into a chair, right in front of the chains that were about to suspend alaina into the air.

spencer had never felt or seen such fear in his life until this moment in front of him. it wasn't even him being tied up to the chair that terrified him. the thing that scared him the most was having to watch the love of his life, the girl he wanted to marry be tortured and killed right in front of him with a front row seat to the show. their team also helplessly watching, their fellow agent being killed by someone who once loved her and who once would do anything in his means to protect her.

"alaia, what are you doing?" spencer whimpered, his voice unable to mask just how afraid he was, alaia smiling softly

"i'm saving your life, spence. i can't let you die, you mean way too much to me. you've been through so much and it's time i received some pain, i'm lessening the load," alaia smiled, keeping up her strength as peter drew ever so closer to his niece so he could start assembling the torture machine

peter then grabbing her and chucking her against a wall. spencer and the team flinching as they watched, the noise alaia's body made as it connected with the wall wasn't good at all. more blood beginning to pool at the back of her head, matching the blood that now trickled down her forehead from the force of the push.

the metal chains loudly clasped her hands above her head as she hung with her feet no longer touching the ground beneath her as she remained tough and unafraid. a smile suddenly formed on the young agent's face as she suddenly giggled at how unflattering this pose must have looked to spencer and the team at the angle they were watching it at. saying it in a way to make the horrific situation more comedic, however, it of course didn't land as well as she wanted it to land.

"this pose must look very unflattering to you guys right now..." alaia giggled suddenly as she then looked down, the mortified look of her boyfriend, spencer, as well as her team who she couldn't see, didn't find it as comedic as she thought they would have

halting her laughter, alaia quietly gulped, not knowing what else she could say to fill the suddenly eerie silence that fell throughout the abandoned warehouse. peter ignoring the exchange as he continued to set up his torture chamber.

🚨

alaia's begs to save spencer in replacement for her was working. she smiled to herself that her boyfriend was safe, though he was having to watch his girlfriend be tortured right in front of him whilst restrained, he was safe.

no more than a second longer did peter wait before his homemade torture equipment was powered up before it started to tear into and shock alaia's body. the equipment varied from kitchen appliances like knives and screwdrivers and forks to none kitchen appliances like ice picks, and a baseball bat.

an electric wire would end up being bound around alaia's legs as well as other things that burnt into the agent's skin. alaia's entire body was being torn into and was on fire however that gorgeous, loving, caring, bright smile remained etched on her face. not once letting it falter or letting herself scream out in pain for her uncle to switch the torture equipment off.

alaia knew that it bothered her uncle immensely that she wasn't reacting to the torture. she knew he always thrived off the pain of his victims. yet she'd always been known to have the physical and mental strength from the beginning of her life to be able to withstand whatever he tortured her with. so, alaia could tell that her uncle was a firecracker about to explode and about set the whole warehouse ablaze because he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted from his victim.

however, peter wasn't stupid. he was still smart enough to figure out the possible weakness of his niece and that was seeing her boyfriend weak and freak out. alaia's kryptonite was seeing her boyfriend or anyone she loved in pain. whether it was seeing them cry, sick or in pain, seeing anyone but spencer especially in some sort of pain made alaia vulnerable.

it was most definitely her biggest weakness but it was never something to worry about. this was the first time an unsub had a personal connection to one of the agents. so, that was when peter decided to use it against his niece to see how she'd react by turning up the level of pain on the equipment that she was hooked up to. which of course effectively made spencer thrash around in his seat, crying out for peter to stop.

the rest of the team barely able to continue watching as peter turned up the dial on the power grid and they heard it. spencer's screeches for peter to stop. the worst part of all of it was that penelope and the rest of the team were still nowhere near close enough to finding the goddamn adandoned warehouse in downtown virginia.

"alaia! peter, stop it...please, leave her alone! you've done enough, you've hurt her enough! she's bleeding, peter! please, peter....put...put her down! you're hurting her! please...stop...peter!" spencer sobbed, the hot tears streaming down his face as he thrashed around in the restrains that were stopping him from saving her himself

"spence, please, it's okay! it doesn't hurt, i promise, i can't even feel a single thing!" alaia attempted to comfort her devastated boyfriend as peter groaned

both his plans of inflicting the most pain on his niece and making her scream and cry weren't working and it pissed him off. so, that was when he decided he needed to go a step further and bring out the big guns

"is it bad that she can't feel it, hotch?" jj questioned, the tears she had fought hard to keep at bay streamed her cheeks

her head turned away, no longer looking at the screen but at her unit chief, aaron hotchner, the man not knowing how to respond.

"i...i don't know jj but, just trust alania. trust that she knows what she's doing," hotch gulped nervously, only praying that his not-so full proof statement was correct

unable to know how he'd react if one of his beloved agents didn't make it out of this dangeorus situation alive. let alone if she was safe, especially after he promised that he would keep her safe.

however, hotch couldn't have been more wrong in his hope for alaia to come out of this torture alive. making him wish he never said anything and just kept his mouth shut. making him feel like it was his fault.

what happened next came so quickly it was like everyone blinked before they heard a gunshot ring through the warehouse. spencer's heartwrenching screams from his gut following shortly after as he helplessly tried to free himself from his restraints and shoot peter.

from the time it took the rest of the team to finally locate the banged up industrial warehouse that peter was commiting his murders in, it felt like time had slowed down. it literally felt as though spencer had only blinked before one more shot rang out. morgan and prentiss had rushed in within seconds, morgan delivering the shot that shattered peter's leg, slowing the aging man so the arrest would be easier.

prentiss quickly rushing over to spencer to untie him from the restraints. however the only thing that accomplished was spencer collapsing to his knees as more sobs and screams left his mouth. morgan quickly discovering that alaia's pulse was gone and she was deceased. peter had been killing his victims with the singular gunshot wound, not the torture equipment. doing the very same thing to his niece, not wanting to stray away from his m.o at all. panicking after hearing morgan and prentiss storm the building, not wanting to be caught with his final victim still alive.

biting his lip, morgan turned to spencer, "...she...alaia's dead, reid..." he whispered out, the older agent becoming numb as he watched his best friend weep over the loss of his girlfriend

reinforcements, including the other members of the bau, excluding penelope, and the coroner had been called to the scene. david rossi and aaron hotchner rushed over to spencer, trying to convince him to stand up off the floor. and get him to the safety of an awaiting ambulance to patch up the lesions on his wrists and ankles and the dried blood on his forehead from the mild concussion. usually, in a situation like this, spencer would be fighting tooth and nail to stay with his girlfriend. however, this time, he was way too weak to even scream anymore, let alone fight against his chief in command and most senior agent as they carefully helped the grief-stricken boy walk out of the warehouse and to the ambulance.

whilst rossi and hotch coerced the broken spencer out of the warehouse, prentiss, jj and morgan had the awful task of having to shut down each individual piece of torture equipment. having to wait a couple minutes for each of them so they wouldn't blow themselves and the entire rusting building up. after they were sure that everything was turned off and no longer a danger, it was time jj and emily could release their best friend and fellow agent alaia saint angelis from the ceiling restrains. unable to completely ignore the large gunshot wound that was right in the middle of her chest.

it was obvious however that even together, emily and jj were not physically strong enough to get alaia down from the ceiling on their own. so, they asked morgan for help as he grabbed her carefully and carried the girl to the medical examiner, placing her body into a body bag as she would then be transported to the coroner's office for an official autopsy.

the task after that was to then make sure all of the injuries and causes of death are checked out, matching her sustained injuries. and this meant that spencer with emily was assigned the job of visiting the coroner's office, making sure alaia's autopsy was done correctly and could be used as evidence against her uncle. the psychotic man that had finally, after thirty years, been caught.

"...what was the official cause of death, doctor?" emily asks, the silence unbearable as spencer tried to hold himself together

it was hard for him no matter what. the tears burning the back of his eyes as emily kept a close eye on him. it was as though spencer was stuck in time, unable to say or process anything.

"traumatic brain injury due to insistent trauma and blood loss from the gunshot wound to her stomach. the brain injury started the moment she got the first knock to the head and then the second one only made it worse. the ongoing trauma after the knock to the head only worsened the trauma which caused internal bleeding along with external bleeding from the back and front of her head as well as her stomach after the gunshot. she didn't feel anything because her body was in survivor mode and overcompensating with the adrenaline that would have been pumping through her veins as she compartmentalised her pain and chose to prioritise her strength," the medical examiner, a 5'3 asian female spoke softly but professionally, emily nodding her head whilst spencer looked as if he was watching ghosts

"thank you, doc. would...could you excuse us, please?" emily was soft in her question as the examiner nodded her head, not hesitating for a moment to give the two fbi agents time alone

"of course," the examiner spoke softly and escorted herself out of the room

"thank you," emily spoke quietly, the examiner now out of the room, the door closing quietly behind her

this leaving only emily, spencer and the deceased body of bau agent alaia saint angelis that rested on the cold metal slab. her body covered with a white sheet that was covered with bloody splotches on her head and stomach.

grabbing a soft hold on spencer's hand, emily knew it was now time to focus on bringing some comfort to her devastated best friend.

"did you hear any of that?" emily's voice soft but heartbroken and strength as a shaky breath left spencer's mouth his hands stuffed into the jacket he'd been wearing since getting his once over from the medics

"she wasn't in any pain, spence," emily knew telling spencer that his girlfriend didn't feel a thing as she died wasn't at all going to bring the boy genius any comfort but, she knew she had to repeat it to him

silence was what emily got in return from spencer other than the single tear from the corner of his eye. more tears came after that first one as spencer slowly crumbled in front of emily, the tissue in his hand only able to wipe away so many tears. emily swallowing the inconsable spencer into her arms as he sobbed into her shoulder.

his crumpled-up tissue covering his face as he tried to conceal the noise his sobs were making. this was not what emily had invisioned happening when hotch gave the case debrief to his team, warning them that this time, the case was personal due to the fact the unsub was related to one of their own. the most painful thing being that alaia through herself head first into the case knowing she wouldn't make it out alive, not even promising it to anyone knowing it would broken anyway.

now she wasn't alive to see her uncle get his just desert in court or rot away in prision. the only one able to testify a witness statement other than a small group of survivors of peter's being spencer himself. peter's last one and the most powerful one dead.

🚨

derek morgan

derek's grief over alaia's death was unusual for him. in a way he had never felt before. this pain he felt hurt in a different way that wasn't what he was used to. and it hurt more than he'd like to admit it hurt him. because that's the type of person derek was. he wasn't the biggest fan of showing his vulnerability so, as he grieved over the loss of his best friend, ssa alaia saint angelis, he tried his absolute hardest to hide it like he always did.

however, this time, it was different and, he wasn't able to be as discreet about his grief as he usually was. there were times that he would have trouble just looking at certain nooks and crannies around the bau building because so much of that building was alaia and was too reminiscent of her. however, unlike the other team members, derek only openly cried thrice over the death of alaia. the first time was at the funeral, of which he, himself was physically and consciously aware of his tearful reaction.

the second time was during a small memorial that the entire bau building had hosted for the young agent and this was a moment that derek wasn't consciously aware of his tears. not until a tissue from penelope was offered to him did he realise he was even crying. the third and final time derek cried over alaia's death was during the court date of her uncle peter saint angelis. this was the worst of the three times that derek had cried. he would have thought hearing spencer, three of dozens of peter's victims, alaia's older and younger brothers and aaron hotchner say their witness statements wouldn't have affected him in any certain way but, they did.

whilst the statements from three of peter's dozens of victims, hotch and brothers of alaia's was heartbreaking, it wasn't until spencer's statement which had the detailed way that peter murdered alaia through his own sobs that had derek also crying.

hearing spencer weep as he spoke of the way peter teased and tortured his own blood relative, his brother's own daughter was enough to bring derek to tears. tears that had been held away for years. however, a month or two after, derek's life was beginning to continue somewhat normally. for he was no longer teary eyed when he looked at alaia's empty desk, now a memorial for her, a spot which would never be used for any new agent that would step foot into the bau.

jennifer jareau (jj)

similar to derek, jj's grief over alaia's death was strange. everyone's grief is strange since it's not normal when really thought about. however, in jj's case, she straight up denied her grief over alaia's death. and this ended up causing so much in-team fighting and aruging that jj was suspended for a week. the complete opposite of deek who did come forward to say he was struggling, jj refusing to say she was struggling.

she had tried so hard to push her grief aside so she could console and nuture everyone else around her, spencer her number one priority until he wasn't. after jj's suspension, hotch had told emily to be the one to watch over spencer meaning he no longer needed jj.

and this caused more arguing because jj took offence that spencer no longer needed her but needed emily. this was when everyone in the team along with her own husband and sons noticed that jj was struggling and still refusing to open up and say that she wasn't as okay as she made herself out to be.

when jj did take care of everyone and spencer, she'd either be spending time at the bau outside of working hours, just calmly sitting with her legs crossed in front of alaia's desk. the photos and bits and bobs staring back at her, where jj knew she'd be alone and unable to get caught. before emily took over her role, she'd be locked up in spencer and alaia's house, trying her hardest to comfort an inconsolable spencer. hugging him as tightly as she could muster as he sobbed rivers upon rivers, grief, despair and anguish over the loss of his girlfriend.

until she couldn't any longer, she'd be the one to hold the tissue box for everyone if they needed it, she'd be the one to provide and initiate the hugs. she'd be the one (alongside spencer and then later emily) to check up on alaia's family, her siblings most especially, and she would be the one that drowns herself in everyone's paperwork because those were all distractions.

these things were all distractions to stop jj from wallowing in her own grief that she was still so stubborn about admitting to everyone, but most especially to herself. however, it wasn't until her regular check-in call with her husband, will, that she finally admitted to him and herself that she really wasn't okay even after trying to initially deny it once again. as soon as that phone call to her husband was over and jj found herself unable to stop crying, that was when everyone turned in support for jj. showering her with the same love and comfort that she showered them in. emily telling jj that she could now grieve as emily took over all of jj's old jobs of taking care of spencer and alaia's family until jj was able to stomach it all again.

emily prentiss

emily was one that struggled with the loss of alaia in a major way. the thing that hurt emily the most about the loss of alaia was that the older girl still had so much more things left that she wanted to say to the young thirty-year-old that, she could no longer tell them to her. it broke emily's heart into pieces knowing that the only thing she had left of the young girl who she saw as her sister were the photos, videos, text messages and voicemails they shared together.

it was in times like this, times of immense grief, that emily just wished she had an eidetic memory like spencer. she'd only wished that so she could remember every single thing, small, medium and big about alaia. all she wanted was just to remember the reason that she made alaia smile or laugh on the fifth day of the sixth month one year ago. and it was all because emily's biggest fear was forgetting everything about alaia, the young agent that just wanted to fix the wrongs of her family and stop other families going through the same as she did.

whilst it was known how well emily could hold back and supress her emotions, doing it well especially when she forced jj to step back and took her place, consoling spencer and alaia's family. when it came to the loss and grieving process of alaia, it seemed like everything about her best friend for a while made the raven haired girl teary-eyed. one of the many things that would consume emily's time and grief was when she wasn't visiting spencer or the rest of alaia's family, was to watch back those videos. read back those text messages and listen to those voicemails left behind by alaia.

when emily was looking through her phone to find her favourite voice message alaia left her, she hadn't noticed that on the day emily ran away due to ian doyle, alaia had called her, leaving a voice message. before this voice message, emily had only listened and known about penelope's voice message when she ran away after ian doyle. and seeing this voice message was just enough to tear open emily's heart and make her cry. however, it wasn't until her shaky fingers pressed the play button to listen to the voicemail. hearing her best friend's voice again was really what made the older agent cry more.

"em, it's me alaia. i know hotch asked penelope to go through all of your old numbers and listings but i don't think either of them remembers that i've got both of these phone numbers. but, like penelope already told you, if you've even listened to that voice message, please come home..."

"...i know what it's like to always have to watch over your shoulder and having to go back and forth from different identities so you can't be traced. but, jesus christ emily, what have you done? why did you think this was a smart thing to do? i was so pissed off at you, and i'm sure you got a whole lot of angry penelope as well but then, through remembering how scared i was and penelope reminding me, i remember just how scared you must be. having to constantly be on the run and in the dark and all alone...but, like penelope said, you're not alone. you've never been alone in this! we are trying so hard to find you, we are sending you signals and calling out your name. so...please...emily, even if you can't see us and only hear us, please find your way home. if you can't find us, we'll find you and please, just stay alive because just like penelope and everyone else has told you, we are coming and we're going to find you and bring you back home!"

emily thought she had heard all of the voice messages, tears welling in her eyes as she remembered penelope's voice message from when she had run away. she was about to turn her phone off until she noticed the most recent voice message from alaia. she hadn't realised that alaia had rung her the morning before they left for that downtown virginia case that killed her.

"...hi emily, it's me again. i know you never pick up calls or messages from this phone number but, i thought i'd just try again because i know you still have this phone with you. so, i just wanted to tell you that i already have a feeling that i'm not going to come out of this case alive. my uncle isn't someone who just gives up or stops when he's told to. that's why he's been going on for so long, for 30 whole years. even though i know that i'm going to die during this case, i want you to know that i don't regret it. i don't regret dying on duty if it means making sure my uncle never has the chance of being released and having the opportunity to hurt anyone else..."

"...em if...if i don't make it out of this alive, please don't grieve and cry over me for too long. otherwise i'll feel as though i died for nothing and that just makes me feel scared that when my uncle does murder me, that you guys won't be able to recover from it. and i don't want you guys to let that take over your guys' lives. i want you guys to continue with the bau, i don't want you guys to give up just because i'm gone. i never thought i'd be able to find a family that was loving and kind and supportive. but, as soon as i joined the bau with spencer, i did...i love you guys all so much, being part of the bau for the last 10 years has brought me some of the happiest memories even with all the horror and trauma we see everyday. if i could repeat this all and go back in time to the beginning, i would do it all over again if it meant i could spend more time with you guys..."

"...i just love you all so much and promise me you'll never stop smiling cause i'll notice and it'll be hell for you...oh and please, reconsider your resignation. i don't want you to leave, especially if it's because of my death. this team will need you more than ever after i die if i do die today. and, i also wouldn't wish for you to resign so early in your career when you've still got so much power and love for this job left in you. okay, umm, i got to go, i'm getting strange looks from spencer...oh, spencer...this is going to kill him knowing that he couldn't save me in time..."

"...please, em, take care of him cause this will destroy him more than anything ever has. i promised him that nothing bad would happen to me and just like everyone else in his life, i broke my promise. however, do let him be happy again, make sure he falls in love again because he deserves to fall in love, be happy, get married and have kids. spencer deserves all the happiness in the world and i know he felt his happiest when we were together and, i've always felt the same way. but, i seriously doubt i'll be making it out alive today and, i'm okay with that because i know i wouldn't have felt anything and i died happy knowing that this man is no longer going to reign anymore of his terror and he'll be locked away for life. but, anyway, i really have to go now but, i love you emily, i love all of you guys so much and, i can say with full confidence and my whole entire soul and heart that it has been a real pleasure to be apart of this family. goodbye emily..."

this voicemail broke emily's heart as well as everyone elses. emily playing this voice message to the rest of the team as it ended up bringing a lot of comfort to them. however, the biggest promise that emily kept was revoking her resignation from the bau, deciding to stay with them. not only because it was her best friend's final wish but because emily knew that alaia knew that the resignation wasn't actually going to ever happen, hence why alaia mentioned it.

dr spencer reid

from the very beginning, it was quite obvious that spencer would be the most affected by alaia's murder. spencer's grief started the moment alaia sacrificed herself to save his life and spencer was scared and already begun to grief in anticipation. he knew from the beginning that he wouldn't be able to save her and neither could the rest of the team. too slow in finding the warehouse in time to save them both and that devasted spencer the most, that as his main reason for the heightened grief and devastation.

spencer was swallowed up in grief for days that spanned over weeks and then months. over those months, he had cried tears that could have also been tears shed due to all of the other past traumas he had kept inside and pushed down, only resurfacing because of the death of the girl he loved more than anyone else. whilst he appreciated the comfort that jj, emily and the rest of the team provided him with, nothing they were doing was going to bring alaia home.

no one else's shoulder brought spencer the same amount of comfort that his girlfriend's warmth and light gave him. spencer lost count of how much he had cried, just knew that he was crying a lot and it was exhausting for him. he never liked crying but he also knew that it was what he needed so he let himself to just cry until he could cry no more. the hardest part about alaia's death wasn't the fact that he wept his way through the entire funeral, barely able to stay on his own two feet without collapsing whilst saying the eulogy.

it was the court date for peter saint angelis' trail where spencer, amongst others from alaia's family, aaron hotchner and some of peter's survivors, took to the witness stand and testified against the serial killer. proving evidence and taking down the serial killer's defense, making sure that this serial killer wouldn't be able to see another slither of daylight ever again. spencer remembering just how awful that day was. he had never been so helpless, vulnerable and empty in this entire life until that moment. that day he had to tell not just the court judge but the entire court from beginning to end of alaia's torture and murder since he, other than peter himself, was the only other witness to the serial murder who was able to testify against the man.

emily and jj also attempted to be allowed to testify but unable to since they already had aaron hotchner as well as spencer. and also because they didn't actually witness peter murdering his niece like spencer had. spencer wept as he attempted to get through his witness testimony, trying his best to calm himself down to a state where his speech could be understood clearly. and he did, it all of a sudden became unbearable for the judge and jury to hear the horror that had happened to the young fbi agent without feeling sick or bursting out into their own tears.

by the time peter saint angelis' trail had finished and he was finally found guilty, after one hour of deliberation and a life sentence with a possibility of death row, it felt like all the tears spencer cried weren't for nothing. finally, after 30 years of alaia and her family being haunted by peter's reign of terror, it was now over. peter would no longer have the power to torture and kill anyone else.

the one positive of alaia's death for spencer was the fact that her family and all the other families of peter's deceased and surviving victims were also finally given justice. these families and survivors receiving peace and closure on what happened to their loved ones that never had the chance to come home like alaia wasn't allowed to.

fin

rewriting for criminal minds on tumblr on its very own tumblr page is something i'm so excited about! because yes, i have deleted every other post on my formula 1 tumblr that isn't formula 1 written. i may also write fics for the actors as well as the characters but that may come a little later on but do be on the lookout!

©⠀amberscriminalmind's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

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things i do write: fluff, a lil smut/spice, angst, smaus, blurbs.

things i don't write: too much smut, anything that involves nonconsensual and things i may deem too uncomfortable for me.

who i write for: criminal minds since i have now gotten back into watching it again. the characters i do write for are mostly the core group (the team as a whole, spencer, jj, emily, derek, hotch). but do check my masterlist cause that can change overtime for who i write for.

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before you leave: don't forget to reblog and like. it is so helpful and is actually something that gives us writers motivation to continue our craft.

please don't forget: even though i have bursts of moments when i have all the inspiration to write and write, these are few and far between these days. i am twenty-two, and i'm now working full-time hours, only with a select amount of free time. please have courtesy and patience when a request or a fic you've been waiting on hasn't been published as quickly as you want it to. but, if you have anything you want to talk about, whether it's personal or not, please reach out. i am not someone to be scared of. if you are in need of a safe space, you have come to the right place because here you are welcome and forever safe here!

one last thing: every single photo used in my fics are either my own (very rarely) and pinterest. and because all of these fics are my own, please don't copy or translate any of my work without coming to me first with permission!

© amberscriminalmind, 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

amber's masterlist

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RATING SYSTEM:

💔 - angst

🥹 - comfort

🫶 - fluff

🌶️- smut/suggestive

COLLECTIONS:

bau team:

panic room 💔 alt ending 🫶💔

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi..." 💔 part two

(not exactly) hysterical 💔

you said what, kid? 🌶️ ft derek morgan & the bau

dr spencer reid:

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi..." 💔 part two ft the bau

i'll look after you 💔 ft the bau

(not exactly) hysterical 💔 ft the bau

a little too late 💔 ft the bau part two🫶

mrs reid🫶

a love returned in full 🫶

"we got to get her out of here, okay? it's really cold in here for her and I just don't--"💔

i'll always come back for you 💔🥹 ft emily prentiss

you said what, kid? 🌶️ ft derek morgan & the bau

my love, my life 💔🥹

emily prentiss:

i'll always come back for you 💔🥹 ft spencer reid

derek morgan:

you said what, kid? 🌶️ ft derek morgan & the bau

jennifer "jj" jareau:

luke alvez:

aaron hotchner:

© amberscriminalmind, 2025

[amberscriminalmind]

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about me amber. she/her. australian italian. twenty-two. first aider. music and film lover. if it's not f1 it's criminal minds.

reqs: open masterlist inbox guidelines