an-unoriginal-username-yep - Tumblr blog

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

Men are told “men don’t cry” because crying is seen as a female (ie subhuman) behavior and men are expected to adhere to the dignity of their class which confers the right to be considered fully human. If a man displays feminine behavior he’s punished because he is adopting the traits of second class citizens and not fully living up to his societally granted right to be considered superior. This is not a punishment for men. This is the subjugation of women that backfires in men’s faces because they’re too stupid and myopic to realize that everyone needs to express emotional weakness from time to time to be mentally healthy

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

just saw one of those “progressive” shaving commercials where it shows women with body hair shaving it off and the comments were like “disgusting” and “why are you showing me this” and “body hair shouldn’t be that long [note: the body hair was so fucking sparse]” and like ???? even when women are conforming to beauty standards and making ourselves hairless, ppl will still find the basic existence of female body hair as fundamentally wrong.

which is exactly why discussions about whether shaving is empowering and how it’s “not our job as feminists to question makeup, shaving, heels, etc” are USELESS. bc you can’t have a fair discussion when these societal standards have warped our images of adult human females. how can there ever be a “choice” between embracing your natural body and performing femininity when ppl are unable to even fathom body hair or a bare face or practical clothes on women. when ppl think we naturally look like this—completely divorced from our natural bodies.

and frankly, THIS is what objectification is: being stripped so much of personhood that any hint that a woman isn’t a consumable, docile, item, any sign that we’re actual human beings with human bodies, is met with vitriol and backlash.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

Now that I think about it, not once have I ever heard about a celebrity who was “cancelled” for misogyny? For instance if a (straight white) male rapper wrote about black or gay people the way they wrote about women, I feel like they’d at least face some degree of backlash - but somehow it’s acceptable for literally every male rapper to constantly write songs like “I have shallow gold digging barely legal b*tches clinging to my arm because of my performative wealth, aggressive dominance and large cock”

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

We need to do better.

Some of y'all will sit by and watch black men say the most misogynist, vile, disgusting, rapey shit and just tack on "white" in front of it, and everyone is too afraid to call it out because "they're just venting about their oppressors, right?"

Learn the difference between venting and masking misogyny under "woke" language. If you think judging women by how fuckable they are only affects white, cis women, then fucking talk to trans women. Talk to black women. Ask them how microaggressions like that affect them. When you see vile shit in your community call it out instead of letting it fester.

I'm sure shit like this happens in other communities, but I can only call out what I see happening in mine. Y'all aren't afraid to say "just because you're a woman doesn't mean you can't be racist/ableist/transphobic etc". Stop being afraid to apply the same thing to men. You are not immune to being misogynist. Hold men in our community accountable. You aren't the only ones affected by racism, your black sisters are also facing racism and now gotta deal with your misogyny on top of that. Stop using white feminism as your scapegoat to get away with saying misogynist shit in front of black women. If you want to critique white feminism, do it without resorting to misogyny.

Black women deserve better than this.

(Non-black people can rb)

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

I'm just going to say it, I've seen zero receipts of alleged harassment from racist Sarah Z fans provided by the person who initially critisized her for liking Lorde's new album.

While I'm sure it's certainly scary to have a large creator respond to you directly saying "no, I actually never defended Lorde trivializing BLM by using audio in the backround of her music", and while I'm sure there were many people jumping to her defense, it's important never to take any claim at face value. If the original critisizer provides screenshots of the alleged misgendering and being called racial slurs, I will delete this post. But I'm not hopeful that I wouldn't just be accused of trying to retraumatize/upset him for not believing claims without evidence. And I'm sure I'll get a lot of angry people in the replies for thinking it's possible that a person on the internet would stretch the truth, but if they sent death threats/suicide bait/racial slurs/misgendering, I would simply screenshot it and add proof of that harassment to this post. It's really not that hard to take a screenshot.

Additionally, the person who made the initial criticism is romani, not black. If non-black POC could stop using black people and black issues as tools for internet points against white women they don't like, that would be rad. We aren't your pawns. Maybe let actual black people make criticisms instead of speaking over us and doing it on our behalf.

One can argue that it can potentially open up a person to harassment if a large creator responds to them. While this is certainly possible, to imply that a person doesn't have the right to respond to criticism creates a fucked up dynamic of "if you're too well-known, people can hurl whatever abuse or accusations they want, and if you respond or block them at all, *you're* the bad one!" I think a good solution for creators is to respond to criticism with censored screenshots so that there can't be any allegations of sending harassment to the way of the critisizer.

This whole thing is stupid. Using black people for your weird parasocial clout-chasing internet games is gross and stupid. Stop.

*non-black ppl stfu on this post, thx*

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

Anyway! Resources!

How Narcissists Use DARVO to Escape Accountability

What is gaslighting? The 1944 film Gaslight is the best explainer

Flying monkeys (popular psychology)

Dealing with Difficult Family Members: Dont Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain

What is the grey rock method?

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

Today I am wishing love and peace to any victims of narcissistic abuse recovering from false allegations.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

"Video game is bad because I personally don't want to fuck the main femoid character" bro I don't want to fuck Mario but that doesn't make Mario games bad.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

I realize that this is a little bit of a different subject for those with social media accounts made with the express purpose of sharing ones opinion.

I understand that if one has a discourse or opinion blog, it can can create an echo chamber which isn't productive or helpful to anyone, or that it can be frustrating to write out a long, heartfelt, well-researched response only to find that one has been blocked, but at the end of the day there's nothing one can do about it. Fuming over getting blocked or laughing about "HAHAHAH I GUESS THEY COULDN'T HANDLE MY BASED OPINIONS" is only going to hurt you and make you feel resentful, or give that person a persecution complex of "Look! They're trying to get people to harass me!!"

I'm going to make an effort to engage with people who disagree with my opinions on this blog, since the purpose is to attempt to better understand those I disagree with, but not everyone is that way. Some people have discourse blogs only dedicated to a certain topic, and don't want to engage in debates about other topics.

If someone engages with me in a way I consider to be rude or disrespectful, I am under no obligation to engage with that person. There is nothing shameful about being sensitive, it is only human to have feelings. You are never obligated to engage with someone who is seeking to make a personal attack rather than speak about the subject at hand. It doesn't matter if they walk away feeling smug amd triumphant because you didn't want to engage with them. Let them be toxic, let them he angry. You don't owe them anything.

There are so many fun and productive things to do on the internet, and fuming over someone not wanting to interact just doesn't seem healthy to me. If someone is unhealthy or toxic and blocks you despite feeling as though you were perfectly respectful and productive, then the best thing you can do for yourself is move on.

You are not a coward or afraid of confrontation for using the block feature, and there is no shame in using the block feature.

Social media is there to enjoy, you can block anyone who slightly annoys you for any reason, whether you just dislike their typing style, or their profile picture.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

You are not a coward or afraid of confrontation for using the block feature, and there is no shame in using the block feature.

Social media is there to enjoy, you can block anyone who slightly annoys you for any reason, whether you just dislike their typing style, or their profile picture.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

I really strongly dislike the idea of "male and females are biologically different, therefore X behavior is completely nature and not nurture".

No one is arguing that hormones don't have an affect on your brain(will 100% confirm that taking testosterone made me more confident and aggressive), but do you really expect me to believe that being color coded as infant so that strangers could treat me differently based on my genitals, made fun of during childhood for being too outgoing or "masculine" for a female, and having the bullying completely stop once I complied and behaved in a stereotypically feminine manner played absolutely no part in being a passive and "agreeable" adult?

When Peterson argues that women are less likely to receive higher up places in companies due to being more "agreeable" and less assertive about things such as pay raises or promotions, I find it disappointing that he fails to account for the affect that socialization has on behaving in a more "feminine"(or masculine) manner when he points out this trend.

[an-unoriginal-username-yep]

I really strongly dislike the idea that just because X exists in nature, it is automatically good.

"Lions have hierarchies" okay and? Male lions will literally kill a litter of cubs just so that he can mate with their mother what's your point???

Just something that exists in human society also exists in nature doesn't automatically make it an inherently good thing.