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[anasrbu]

Who am I in this Country to say anything?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, do I have the right to post anything about this.

Is this something that supposed to be written on my page, given the content I make?

Been doubting for a quite few days now, justifying it… Well, I don’t have a huge platform does it really matter what I think anyway?

And you know what?! Enough of BS.

Yes, this topic is above all the professions and success in the world.

Yes, this is something we all have to work on. We have to acknowledge that we all are involved in this mess on one way or another.

Yes, Imma say something!

Because, I do have the power in my hands and I do have the same rights as others to stand for what I believe in, regardless of where I’m coming from.  Honestly, I don’t care what consequences might be reflected back on me, I will do what I have to do. I will do my part.

This is the first time in my life I’m deeply feeling the calling from those who need my help, and it is my obligation to be there for them! Not as an artist, but as a human being.

Allow me start. 

Facts:

Black innocent man was brutally killed in a middle of the day by 4 cops. All recorded and clearly seen.

Nobody could pretend anymore that racism doesn’t exist.

I think every human being who saw that video realized that the whole system is broken and the way police is treating black community is disgusting and unacceptable.

People immediately went on the streets to protest against dysfunctional system we live in.

Meanwhile, they only charged one outta four with the 3rd degree sentence! After 4 days. Seems like if it weren’t for the Public’s eyes they wouldn’t bother to do so in the name of justice. And these are the people we rely on? The same ones who swore to serve and protect us? Whaaaat?

Police officer was kneeling on George Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds!!!!! He kept kneeling on unconscious, powerless man, until he killed him. Sorry gov, but this isn’t for the 3rd degree. What about two others holding him tight on the ground and the fourth one who was making sure that people around who were watching, don’t get involved? This isn’t good enough of proof to charge all partners in crime?

If were the opposite we would probably have the guy behind the camera in prison too. Same day!

Double standards NO MORE. Piece of clothing and badge doesn’t give any right to kill the innocent.

  I remain politically neutral, but this has gone way too far.

Unfortunately, this is the language of America for a very loooong time. And we all ignored it. The whole World ignores it and participated. No innocent country I heard of.

But we don’t care when it’s happening to someone else. We are sharing emotional, cute videos when the Military dad comes back to his 2 years old son.  Do we think about the kid on the other side of the border? Does he still have a father to hug?

Now, our own Country is against its own people. These very same guys in the uniform are protecting us from us, from the truth, from the justice and peace. Censuring the free speech and communication on social media… Who thought this could be happening in America?

Well, now we see it clearly in front of our eyes.

 Government is saying: “Looting can’t bring back his life.”         (Very true, but..?!)  Also, the same government: Bombs a Middle East even tho it can’t bring back the 9/11 !!!!

Also, fights other countries in the name of democracy and peace (please think how ridiculous and absurd this sounds?!!!) Go to war to make the peace. Really?

My small county of only 7m people was bombed too, half of Americans don’t even bother to know. We are so used to bombing all the time, giving pain to others, we don’t even keep the track no more of 

Where?

When?

Who?

Why?

This phase is called acknowledgment.

That’s why is loud.

We are hurting.

That’s why we see many protests in America and all around the planet basically. People are tired of everything. Insured buildings can be easily fixed but lives not. We cannot replace one lost innocent life.  

We cannot lose one more chance to STOP the hate and injustice.  

That’s why, NOW is the time to speak up, to unify, and to show them what we think and what we can do together. We are walking for all of the victims from the past. And unfortunately the majority is from Black community.

Anger is what you see.

Love & compassion is what we feel.

Let that sink in.

 There’s no gene to racism and hate. Where did we learn all this from? Let’s reconsider all prejudices we have. Starting from art, our music industry and movies we watch every night. Who is the gangster...black boys? Who’s a bad guy.....Russian? Asian? who’s a terrorist.....Muslims? and so on... Then we have the media and other powerful forces which are constantly presenting all of us in a much stigmatized way.

People, don’t you see? We are boxed.

We incorporated hate to our reality. We made this shit outta nothing! To the point that we completely separated ourselves.

Than we have a year of 2020. To enter new decade stronger and smarter. Time to burst this bubble of fear. Time to appreciate beautiful differences we have. We got to protect our harmony at all costs.

This topic is so complex I cannot write everything I want to…..these are just the few examples that came on top of my mind, It’s not like I am blaming media and creative industry for all madness.

I just want to encourage people to take responsibility for their part.    

I personally grew up rarely seeing black people. But I remember when I did - they were treated like superstars. Literally. I’m not lying or exaggerating.         We all wanted to take pictures with them and were trying to teach them to say something on our language to look even cooler with a cute accent. And for sure, that we can say that we have a black friend. It was a pride in a way to be around authentic people.

And I swear, this is how I expected to be in here too. For my 3 full years in US, believe it or not, I’ve only met 2 black guys. Wondering why? We don’t go to same clubs, we don’t hang at the same places, we have no chances to meet and be friends. They are afraid to step in “white” neighborhoods, somebody might call a police on them. Sounds beyond belief, but after seeing brutality over George Floyd. Now I understand why.

For so long this Country has been my heaven on the earth. I have to admit, I ignored all of the bad things I’ve ever heard about US on purpose. Thought, when I go I’ll see it myself. I knew that a  few bad leaders don’t represent the whole nation.                                                                                                        As a teenager, I was dreaming about how amazing it would be to one day be the part of great America.

Now, I am ashamed.  

Yesterday, I walked in to the store, saw few people of color in a line and I lowered my head. I can’t look them in the eyes anymore. I am guilty for allowing this to be happening to anyone. And I am discussed by all of the things I’ve seen lately. As someone who has traveled through EU & US and as an immigrant to this country, I saw undeniable difference in treating “different” people whether we talk about the people of color or LGBT or based on religion or nationality. And all I want to ask you now…

Is this what we call the FREE COUNTRY?  

A modern and developed World?

Is this superior human evolution?

 We failed.

And If we don’t learn from our mistakes and horrible history.                              We will fail again.

You know what you gotta do. 

Do it.

 ************************************************************

God bless America

Lend that I love

Stand beside her and guide her

Through the night with the light from above

This land is your land. This land is my land.

This land was made for you and me.

One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL. ♥

  Ana Srbu

Journey To Becoming a Better Human

[anasrbu]

Two Incredibly Stupid Mistakes I Made (again)

First and foremost I don’t believe in mistakes but I use that word so others could get the point I want to make. I caught myself in early stages because I’ve made these mistakes many many times in the past and I am a PRO now :)  haha    

First one:  I wanted to create better quality videos.                                          And the reason why I consider that as a mistake - not an opportunity is TIMING. I Gotta be honest with myself and y’all.

That is more than I can give at this moment in time. :(

Every time I’m highly motivated, (and for sure I was when I started this), I tend to take more steps than I am actually ready for and able to jump.

How do I know that?

Simply - this idea brought me anxiety and stress,… and not joy and enthusiasm I imagined. I started procrastinating the actual realization of the video I wanted to make for a couple of days -until I gave up. Meanwhile I stopped doing the ‘regular videos’ because I wanted to do this one first, and so on….

And It is not like I avoid being out of the comfort zone, the truth is I already am totally out of my comfort zone by doing all of this publicly!  And enough is enough. It’s all I can do now. It is also the best I can do now. And it is enough!!!  

I didn’t give up on evolving, I gave up on the struggle.

I made some videos in the past by pushing myself on unhealthy way and not only that I’ve lost emotions while singing the particular song 50 times all over again (trying to reach to perfection),  but now when I re-watch these videos I feel the same frustration regardless of how great was my singing nor my looking.

My cycle used to be: Push – Frustration - Regret –Embarrassment - Delete – Disappointment – Push

I didn’t want to make another video like that. I want all of this to be a happy place for me and others. I want to be true to who I am no matter what. This is raw material on purpose, I want to protect realness’s at all costs.

My cycle this time was: Feels good - I want better - Push – I know where this all is going – Chill out- Try to motivate yourself or you’re not gonna record – Give up - Go back to where it feels good.

Therefore, this ‘mistake’ was a win over myself.

I know that I will do amazing stuff in the future, for sure, but I want to do it when I feel it is easy, natural, and logical for me to pass to next level, not only because my Ego wants me to!

Second one: I became obsessed with the numbers. I really care about this project so much and I want to spread the word and reach as many people as I can, because I know how beneficial it will be for all of us. To that point that I was constantly thinking about marketing and how can I do things better. Literally, from the morning till the next morning my mind was searching for info, keywords, funnels… I joined many fb pages, groups, connected with people like never before. And there were 3 days in a row where I woke up soooo tired- with little to no energy, felt like I was thinking all night long - not sleeping and resting my body and mind.

That is another reason I needed a break before I burn out too early.

Both sides of my mind are not so much in harmony, and if I gotta choose from… Numbers are not the price I want to pay for my creativity.

 Now everything is back to normal, I am glad to be where I was before the storm.

Ana Srbu ♥

See videos at:  https://www.facebook.com/anasrbu/

May 26th, 2020

[anasrbu]

I gotta be honest, there have been certain things I def didn’t expect to see in the first week!

Outside not so much has changed, but I have that great feeling, deep inside of me that tells me I’m on the right path - my path!

When I uploaded my first video ‘’Go Big or Go Home” I was super excited and motivated but also VERY scared of all reactions I’d possibly get from the people I know! In a career that I’ve chosen to pursue I’d be ‘dead’ if I don’t learn to listen to myself no matter what ! So I pushed myself to find the way to overcome my fears and not let others opinion of me being on my way.

That’s why I wanted to break the ice first !  The best part is that I got an amazing feedback from people I didn’t even expect to hear from and a total strangers! :) How exiting is to reach 4k people from 25 Countries in a first week? 

Mind Blowing.

On the other hand, some of the people I consider as friends got me very surprised with their ignorance on what’s going on and for not being there to support the hard beginning.                

I guess this is how it supposed to be.                                                                 

I remember, that was also the case when I was moving to LA too. It is not something I have never experienced, but I secretly hoped that they’ve changed. Unfortunately, I was wrong. 

Just to be clear, I don’t want to make anyone to worship me nor my work, I just want to be around  people who believe it before they have to see it!            People who are happy for others, not jealous. People who help each other and support one another. People with dreams and visions. 

Honest. Brave. Authentic. Positive. 

If that means I’m gonna have 200 followers - I am fine with that.                           It’s an honor to have you! I am preparing myself for a long Journey and I don’t want to focus on the things & people that make me worrying or doubting my worth. As I started uploading, every next video got easier to make & share and I felt some sort of a relief. I dropped all the weight I was carrying for so many years. Can’t even count how many videos I never shared because of others…this is gone now. This is Freedom. I feel the Power and boost. I’m still not a 100% completely anxiety free but I’m going in that direction and it feels sooooo so damn good! I think there’s something so powerful in practicing and going forward.                                  

With a video “Who is Ana Srbu?” I wanted to talk openly about my life experiences and there’s soooo much more I want to tell you. I plan to pass my knowledge to others so they can learn from my mistakes. (Expect further uploads on that topic!) 

After working 12+ hours a day (for the first time in my life I was doing that willingly! )   ..first 4 days I was doing amazing, but on the day 5th the level of my dopamine subsided and my body felt very low -  therefore I allowed myself a break. 

Again, there’s no success and content consistency that is worth of my peace & happiness! 

What an Emotional ride.

Eager for more.

Ana Srbu ♥

May 18th, 2020