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A variation I suggested in the notes, to Russian it up just a bit more: top with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of caviar.

(And you know what, yeah, I'm declaring this a candidate for my fictional foods tag.)

Penne alla Goncharova

Ever since Tumblr rediscovered the lost Scorsese classic Goncharov a couple years ago, I’ve been playing with the idea of Russian-Italian fusion food for a themed dinner accordingly. I recently learned of a retro version of pasta alla vodka with smoked salmon that was once popular at Italian discos, and it struck me as an absolutely perfect dish to go with your next showing of this iconic 1973 Mafia movie.

Ingredients:

1 box of penne (or other short, shaped pasta)

1 8-oz package of smoked salmon, chopped into bite-sized pieces

1 ½ cups heavy cream

2 tsp concentrated tomato paste

4 garlic cloves, finely minced

2 tsp butter

2 shots vodka

Pinch or two of red pepper flakes, to taste

Finely minced chives, for garnish

Directions:

Boil a pot of salted water and cook penne to ‘al dente’ according to package instructions.

Meanwhile, melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat, then add garlic and saute until the garlic shows a hint of golden color. Add red pepper flakes, if using.

Add the tomato paste and allow it to fry for one minute, then add the vodka and stir to deglaze the pan.

Next, add the heavy cream, stir to mix, and reduce until the sauce coats the back of a spoon.

Add the salmon and allow to cook for one minute, then add the cooked, drained pasta to the vodka sauce and mix. If sauce is too thick, add a little reserved pasta water to thin it and help it stick to the noodles.

Ladle generously into bowls and top with finely minced chives.

Serve with a nice Italian rosé or some ice-cold vodka, and dig in — remember, the clock is ticking.

[animatedamerican]

Hozier hadn't been born yet when I was in middle school.

just read the sentence “if you didnt listen to hozier in middle school-” and i stopped bc i blacked out. im loggin off. how fucking old are you guys

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Tagged by @captainlordauditor.

The rules: Post a picture of your OC and then 4 (or whatever number you'd like) random photos with no explanation that conveys their vibe.

I'm gonna give you Azimar, my tiefling bard, designed in HeroForge.

And some vibes:

Tagging ... @tanoraqui @bcgphoenix @acleverforgery

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Pesach Recipes: New for 2025

Once again it's time for a new round of additions to my tumblr collection of Pesach recipes! What have we got this year?

(Click through for: Velvety Mushroom Soup, Lox-Avocado Salad, Ground Beef Pie with Matzah Crust, Chicken with Tomatoes and Beef Bacon, Carrot Kugel, and Dairy-Free Chocolate Mousse.)

Velvety Mushroom Soup (adapted from here)

Ingredients

6 tablespoon butter, margarine, schmaltz, or olive oil

2 tablespoon fresh sage chopped

1 lb mushrooms sliced

4 cups vegetable or chicken broth

Salt and pepper to taste

½ cup heavy cream or full-fat coconut milk

Directions

In a large pot, heat butter over medium heat until it begins to brown and turns fragrant, 3 to 4 minutes. (If not using butter, just heat fat of choice.)

Add sage and cook one minute.

Add mushrooms and stir to coat, then saute until mushrooms are tender and lightly browned, 4 to 5 minutes.

Stir in stock and bring to a simmer. Cook 4 to 5 minutes more.

Transfer to food processor or blender (in batches, if your processor is not large enough). Blend until very smooth. Pass through a sieve if desired.

Return to pot and stir in cream. Serve immediately.

—–

Lox-Avocado Salad ("Lox & Friends") Serves 4 to 5 people as an appetizer.

Ingredients:

3 to 4 ounces of lox or smoked salmon

1 large or 2 small avocado, very ripe

Lemon juice

Tomato paste

Directions:

Finely chop the lox – not minced, but until each piece is not much bigger than a lentil. Set aside.

Finely chop or mash the avocado. Stir with a drizzle of lemon juice to keep the avocado from turning brown. Set aside.

To serve molded: Line a small ramekin or deep sauce dish with plastic wrap to serve as a mold. Spread a thin layer of tomato paste on the bottom of the dish. Press a layer of chopped lox onto the tomato paste, then a layer of avocado over the lox. Invert a salad plate on top of the dish and quickly overturn the entire assemblage, then carefully lift off the ramekin and leave the plastic wrap in place to cover the molded serving. Repeat for each serving.

To serve unmolded: For each serving, scoop a generous spoonful of avocado onto a salad plate or into a cocktail dish. Carefully press a layer of chopped lox onto the avocado, then spread a thin layer of tomato paste on top.

Serve alone or with crackers/matzah.

—–

Ground Beef Pie with Matzah Crust

Ingredients:

1 medium-large vidalia onion, chopped

1 spoonful minced garlic

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 small carrot, peeled and chopped fine

1 small zucchini or yellow squash, chopped (optional)

1 small bunch baby bok choy, chopped fine (optional)

8 to 10 oz. fresh mushrooms, chopped

1.5 to 2 pounds ground beef, or beef and chicken mixed

black pepper, fresh thyme and/or rosemary, dried sage, dried savory, coriander, sweet paprika, smoked paprika to taste

3 to 4 sheets matzah, or more as needed

Olive oil, schmaltz, and/or margarine for frying and for greasing pan

Directions:

In a large skillet, heat cooking oil/s of choice. Cook onion over alternating high heat and low heat until deep golden and beginning to brown. Add garlic and cook a little longer, then pour off into large mixing bowl. Cook celery until deep green and fragrant, then return onions to skillet and cook a little longer before pouring off again. Repeat these steps with zucchini, bok choy, and mushrooms, before pouring all off into the mixing bowl.

Add ground beef to skillet and cook, stirring and breaking up with spatula or spoon to keep it from clumping. Season with spices of choice and continue until meat is cooked through. If skillet is large enough, return vegetables to skillet and combine with ground beef over heat; if not, pour off ground beef into mixing bowl and stir together there.

Dip the matzah into warm water and cover loosely with damp paper towels. Let sit for a few minutes until softened. Grease a deep baking dish.

Gently press the softened matzah into the baking dish, making a single layer (overlapping as necessary). Spoon the meat and vegetables into the dish until full. Add another layer of softened matzah over the top, and brush with more oil of choice; if desired, garnish with a sprig of fresh thyme. Bake for about 20 to 25 minutes, or until top crust is crispy. Serve hot.

Cottage pie variation: If preferred, omit the matzah and instead prepare enough mashed potatoes to make a single layer over the top of the baking dish. Grease the baking dish, spoon the meat and vegetables in, press the mashed potatoes into a top layer, and brush or spray with oil of choice; if desired, garnish with a sprig of fresh thyme. Bake for about 20 to 25 minutes or until mashed potato layer is slightly browned. Serve hot.

—–

Sheet-Pan Chicken With Tomatoes and Beef Bacon (adapted from here)

Ingredients

1 chicken in parts or 1½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs

½ teaspoon kosher salt, plus more as needed

9 whole unpeeled garlic cloves

2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for drizzling

1½ tablespoons fresh lemon juice, plus more for serving

2 teaspoons sweet paprika

1-2 teaspoons smoked paprika

1 teaspoon fresh thyme

½ teaspoon dried parsley

1 tablespoon brown sugar

½ teaspoon ground coriander, or to taste

scant ¼ teaspoon ground cumin, or to taste

1 pint cherry tomatoes (preferably different colors), halved

4 ounces diced beef bacon

¼ cup (or more) chopped basil, parsley, and/or other fresh herbs, for serving

Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Heat oven to 425 degrees.

Season chicken all over with salt, and place on a rimmed baking sheet.

Smash all the garlic cloves with the side of a knife and peel them. Finely grate or mince one garlic clove and put it in a small bowl. Stir in the 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1½ tablespoons lemon juice, brown sugar and spices. Pour over chicken, tossing to coat.

Add tomatoes and remaining smashed, peeled garlic cloves to baking sheet, spreading them out around the chicken. Season tomatoes lightly with salt and drizzle with a little more olive oil. Scatter beef bacon on top.

Roast until chicken is golden and cooked through, about 30 to 35 minutes. After 15 minutes, stir the tomatoes and beef bacon, but don’t disturb the chicken.

Transfer chicken to plates. Stir the tomatoes and beef bacon around in the pan, scraping up all the delicious browned bits from the bottom and sides, and stir in the herbs and black pepper to taste. Taste and add salt, if needed, and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, if you like. Spoon tomatoes, garlic and beef bacon over the chicken to serve.

—–

Carrot Kugel (adapted from here)

Ingredients:

5-6 cups chopped carrots, approximately 2 pounds

¼ cup honey or agave nectar

½ teaspoon ground nutmeg

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon orange rind

3 large eggs

¼ cup almond flour

Directions:

Steam carrots until soft, about 20 minutes.

In a blender or food processor, puree carrots, honey, nutmeg, cinnamon, orange rind, eggs, and almond flour.

Grease an 8x8 inch baking dish, and spoon carrot mixture in. Smooth out and sprinkle additional cinnamon over the top, if desired.

Bake at 350°F for 1 hour, until browned around the edges and solid in the center.

Serve warm out of the oven, or allow to cool, then refrigerate overnight and serve cold.

—–

Dairy-Free Chocolate Mousse

Ingredients:

10-12 oz. bittersweet chocolate chips (sugar-free if desired)

2-3 tbsp. hot water

1 tbsp. cocoa powder

1 tbsp. vanilla extract

6-8 jumbo eggs, whites and yolks separated

¼ cup sugar (or other granulated sweetener of choice)

Directions:

Melt chocolate with water, vanilla, and cocoa powder over low heat or in microwave. Remove and stir well until smooth.

Add the egg yolks to the chocolate, one or two at a time, mixing well after each one.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form, then add the sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Add the chocolate and mix well; the mixture will be liquidy.

Pour into serving bowl or into individual cups and refrigerate until set.  Serve cold. (Optional: spoon over sliced oranges, fresh berries, and/or sliced bananas.)

[animatedamerican]

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

[animatedamerican]

Oh that's not bad -- except the second-to-last line needs to rhyme. (With what, you ask? With the same line in every verse -- see "as a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating" / "I'm especially good at expectorating" / "I use antlers in all of my decorating" / "And his marriage we soon will be celebrating" in the original.)

So perhaps swap that out with For who else would the King be appreciating?

Also: happy ten-year anniversary to this silly song, and so many thanks to everybody who's suggested additions.

so tonight I’m at synagogue, listening to the Purim Night reading of the Book of Esther, like you do

and near the end of this chapter my brain presents me with the following:

nooooo ooooone plots like Haman calls the shots like Haman plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman

(It only works with the Hebrew pronunciation of Haman, which, like Gaston, is accented on the second syllable.)

By the time we get home my brain has added:

for there’s none so well-favored and kingly yes, we all can be certain of that he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat

*face in hands*

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I love this stop and haven't been there in way too long.

Lovely Subway Tile Art at 81st St B,C stop at Museum of natural history

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i'm in this picture and desperately want out of it

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This also keeps happening to all the words for "place where you poop". The word "bathroom" is perceived as indelicate even though it literally means "room where you bathe". Likewise the word "toilet", for both the room and the piece of plumbing. I'm not sure I could define the literal meaning of "commode" on a bet.

We've got so many layered euphemisms that when I read Le Guin's The Dispossesed and encountered the wholly non-euphemistic term "shitstool", I was genuinely shocked to realize I had never heard a non-euphemistic term for it before.

One of the many problems with using euphemistic language is that the euphemism eventually just becomes the new word for the thing. We can't use "ejaculated" as a dialogue tag anymore because that's just the normal word for nutting. We can't refer to a dialogue as an "intercourse" anymore because that's just the normal word for fucking.

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listen have you ever analyzed the rhyme and meter schemes of some of those zemirot? amazing. flawless. so gratuitously complicated. love them so much.

man I miss being able to sing these with family and friends in multipart harmony. it's been too long.

My toxic trait is that I don't have a strong emotional connection to Hallelujah. It was never in the repertoire of Jewish Music when I was growing up (heck not even so much now), so I don't find great religious meaning in it, nor do I particularly begrudge Christians liking it. The tune does slap hard for Lecha Dodi though.

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Taliesin as Percy saying "That'll do."

Also "Time is a weird soup."

What completely random and mundane line from Crit Role do you repeat way more frequently than you ever would have thought when you first heard it? Bonus points if absolutely no one around you knows you’re quoting anything.

Mine is using the exact same intonation as Lou Wilson in Calamity to say “It’s beautiful!”

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I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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heirloom farmer Bettinakbh in Denmark

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oh, headcanon ACCEPTED

Inquisition should have let me start the Protestant Reformation. There should have been an option for my mage Trevelyan to derail everyone's politics by telling them Andraste thinks they're a little bitch and to free the mages

[animatedamerican]

Lorraine Baines McFly and Female Autonomy

Hello. I have spent the past month slowly losing my mind about Lorraine Baines McFly, Marty's mom in Back to the Future, so I am finally trying to articulate some of the reasons I'm so feral about her.

There's a quote from Lea Thompson, the actress who played Lorraine, that goes, "The three parts that women usually get to play are virgins, whores, and mothers, and in Back to the Future Part II, I got to play all three." While this is commentary on Hollywood and the limited roles that fictional women get forced into, I think it's also interesting to think about it in terms of how these roles are reflected onto actual women and used to limit their personhood and confine them to a very narrow range of acceptable behaviors . . . and then in turn to think about how the character interacts with these roles on a Watsonian level. They're affecting not just Lorraine the character as she was written, but Lorraine from an in-universe perspective trying to navigate life as a woman in a patriarchal world. Some of the sexism she faces is a deliberate narrative choice and some of it is a result of the writers' blind spots, but for the purpose of this essay I'm less interested in teasing out which threads are which and more in looking at it holistically.

Because the thing about Lorraine is that she's aware of what the acceptable roles and behaviors for women are, and the versions that we see of her across the various timelines alternately fight against and capitulate to these constraints. What is a woman allowed to be? How much is Lorraine willing to break from those restrictions? How much does she allow other women to break from them? Does she resent her role or embrace it? I have a lot of thoughts specifically about how the different iterations of her interact with concepts of female agency and autonomy.

(Putting this under a cut because it is. Long.)

I started thinking about this when I was talking with my partner about 50's Lorraine. She's extremely active and driven and planning to Get What She Wants (in a way that is very scary, if you are Marty) . . . but at the same time she's clearly aware that she isn't supposed to be. A Good Fifties Girl is demure and passive. Lorraine isn't--but she's still trying to toe the line. I think constantly about the scene where she shows up at Doc's garage to be like "I followed you home . . . so that I can ask you to ask me to the dance." The girl can embrace borderline stalking but she draws the line at directly asking a boy out! She's exercising a lot of agency but views doing so as rebellious and subversive--and risky.

And I also want to talk about the whole "boy crazy" thing because like . . . society (especially in the fifties) tells women that the most important thing they can possibly do is find a good man and become wives and mothers, that this will define the success or failure of their entire lives (and given how many things were unavailable to single women at the time this is in many ways true) . . . and then relentlessly mocks and punishes anyone who actually takes an interest in pursuing this instead of just sitting back passively and waiting. She is trying to do what society says will make her happy! And even her desire for a white knight is very much based in the reality of her situation! She's getting sexually harassed at school and around town and she's doing exactly what she's supposed to and standing up for herself and saying no and fighting back--and this is not enough. She does need backup! Biff harasses her in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and Marty is the ONLY person who does anything! No fucking wonder she latches onto him as hard as she does! (There's. I promise this is related but there's a BttF parody musical on YouTube where when Strickland comes to break up the lunchroom fight he says, "Now, I can excuse sexual harassment, but LIGHT SHOVING?" and like it's a haha funny joke but also?? Yeah?? That IS how it works. The way Lorraine's being treated is so overlooked and normalized that the authority figure isn't going to step up the way he will when it's a physical altercation between two guys. Screams.) I wonder if part of the reason she stuck with George in the original timeline even though they didn't have a lot in common is that "I have a boyfriend" is a boundary that some people might actually take seriously whereas "I'm not interested" is not.

But. In general 50's Lorraine is very much about grabbing as much agency as she feels she's allowed to . . . and then Twin Pines Lorraine is what happens when she regrets the result of those choices (because while we don't see it, it's pretty obvious that in the original timeline she pursued George as aggressively as she pursues Marty in the new one), and so she decides to deny, not just her own agency, but female agency as a general concept. She leans so heavily on the idea that her relationship was "meant to be" because it absolves her of any culpability in creating a life she's unhappy with. She's rewritten her own past to view herself as a passive participant in something inevitable. (Exactly the view of womanhood that she was fighting so hard against in the 50's!) And she extends this idea of female passivity to the women around her: telling Linda that she should sit back and wait and a relationship will "just happen," actively resenting Jennifer for doing something as simple as calling Marty on the phone. It's a really interesting form of internalized misogyny, perpetuating these sexist ideas as almost a misguided form of self-defense.

And then for Lone Pine Lorraine this is completely flipped! She loves Jennifer for the same reason she disliked her in Twin Pines: because she reminds Lorraine of her younger self. And like . . . this is something of an extrapolation, but while obviously her husband and kids are still very important to her, it also feels like she has interests and friends and other things going on in her life, whereas part of the isolation of Twin Pines is that her life has shrunk down to the point where she's ONLY a wife and mother with nothing else to define herself by. And it also matters that in this timeline she has a partner that supports her, not just in the big dramatic moments (although also that), but you can easily see the dance as a catalyst for George actually learning to listen to her and stand up for her about smaller things as well. George McFly feminism arc. (I'm being slightly facetious but like. George starts off kind of shitty. The spying is actively Bad and I hope Marty chewed him out for it offscreen, but also his reaction to the harassment scene being "I think there's someone else she'd rather go with," implying that he sees what Biff is doing as like. Normal flirting that he expects to work. He doesn't GET it. Unsurprising because he is. A teenage boy in the fifties. But I do believe that saving Lorraine was something of a wakeup call and after that he listened to her about things that make her uncomfortable and gave her the support that she needed. Which would also give her a lot more freedom in this timeline because she has someone with more societal power who has her back!)

And then. Hell Valley.

If Lone Pine is the version of Lorraine who has the most freedom, the most opportunities to make decisions based on what she wants instead of What Is Expected Of A Woman, Hell Valley is the opposite. The things denying her agency in Twin Pines is largely societal forces (and herself); in Hell Valley she is actively being denied autonomy by her evil husband who functions as the personification of a bunch of sexist ideas.

She's been objectified to the point that she doesn't maintain control over her own body; Biff pressures her to get cosmetic surgeries so she can continue to look attractive to him because that's the only value he sees in her. Her physical appearance is entirely tailored to his preferences.

Biff's view of Lorraine is wife-as-possession. He treats her like a prize he's won and her kids like parasites. And he is NOT subtle about this. But Lorraine is still desperately clinging to the idea that she's wife-as-family. She calls Biff "your father" to Marty when he arrives, and talks about "our children" because she wants so so badly for this to be something different than what it is. It's especially terrible because this is a timeline where she got seventeen years of being happy with George, she knows what she's missing, and she keeps trying to force this new relationship into a similar mold even though Biff is openly contemptuous of her and especially her kids. It's been twelve years and she's still trying to pretend. To call back to that Lea Thompson quote: it's obvious where Biff thinks Lorraine fits on the virgin-mother-whore axis, while Lorraine is actively trying to centralize her motherhood partially because the kids really are that important to her and partially as a defense mechanism.

(And it's also such a bleak cautionary tale about how fragile women's stability can be when they're dependent on their husbands; Lorraine was happy with George and had a fair amount of freedom, but he was the only one with an income so when he died she was suddenly forced into a truly horrific situation because she had no other means to support herself and her three young children. Especially given that the Hell Valley universe is also worse in some broader political ways that mean there were probably even fewer social supports available than in real life 1973)

And god. It kills me the way that we see her lash out, the way she's clawing for autonomy when she threatens to leave . . . and then exactly how Biff levels all his axes of control against her. It's very interesting that his first tactic is consumerist (Who will pay for all your things? Who will take care of you?) and that doesn't work even though not being able to support herself is a very real concern. It's only when he threatens her kids that she folds. And then she immediately crumples and pivots to rationalizing Biff's behavior and blaming herself for her own abuse (in a way that is both HEARTBREAKING and also? surprisingly sympathetic and realistic for an 80's movie?). It's similar to the passivity we see in Twin Pines, but here we see exactly where it comes from. She doesn't have any way out so she has to pretend. It's the only way she can keep going. She has these flashes of rage but they're immediately snuffed out by despair and denial.

There's not a lot of talk about Lorraine and what there is tends to reduce her to "well she's Marty's mom" as if she's a boring character who doesn't have a lot going on. But even though most of her role in the movies has to do with her relationships with the various men in her life, those relationships are really interesting if you actually pay attention to them! She's not just (in the 80's) a wife and mother--she's someone who has a complex relationship with marriage and motherhood and the societal expectations surrounding them. She's not just (in the 50's) a vapid boy-crazy girl--she's doing her best to go after what she wants in a world that doesn't want her to (the fact that one of the things she wants turns out to be her time-traveling son from the future is unfortunate but not something she has any way of knowing!). She's stuck in a society that doesn't want women to be people, and she knows this, and because we see her across two different time periods and three different timelines you can watch how sometimes society grinds her down until she gives in and tries not to be a person. And also how, sometimes, she fights back.

[animatedamerican]

I read this aloud to spouse. He said "oh I don't think that's fair."

I proceeded to demonstrate by singing the opening lines of several They Might Be Giants songs while leaning sideways in my computer desk chair and addressing an imaginary cat.

Spouse conceded the point.

i don't really mean this as criticism but every They Might Be Giants song i've ever heard all share this same ultra particular vibe i can only describe as "this sounds like something a programmer started spontaneously singing around the house at like two in the morning because he was trying to annoy his girlfriend's cat"

[animatedamerican]