annoyingchocolatebar

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Saw this not even 20 minutes after buying 4 skeins of yarn for a project that doesn’t need 4 more skeins of yarn

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

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Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

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That’s it. Lilo & Stitch has one of the worst synonyms for eyes that even fanfiction writers can’t top.

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How come semi trucks in Europe look like “toot toot :)” and in North America they look like “HONK HOOOOOOOONK >:|”

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A group of twelve year old boys was trying to explain Minecraft to me on the train, explaining creative and survival mode, and I was playing along, acting like all of this information was new to me. But all I could think was:

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     “Cats are cold, detached & unloving.”

     “Cats are not loyal.”

     “A cat will not greet you at the door.”

     “You can not train a cat”

     “Cats aren’t that smart.”

     “Cats aren’t that good with children.”

     “Cats don’t miss you when you’re gone.”

     “Cats don’t comfort you when you’re feeling down.”

What a load of crap !!!  One thing for certain… cats don’t give a rat’s ass what B.S. you tell about them. They refuse to care less, either about what you think of them, or about the people they love.

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My mom saved up brushings from her cat (Penelope) and gave me a whole 2.5 oz, which is now 136 yards of very fluffy yarn. Current plans are to make a hat for Penelope!

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that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

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I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?

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Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’ We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.

It’s a really long time guys.

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god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass

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flower language has always been an intense source of disappointment for me

like, they all mean really generic things like “love” or “forever” or “i’m sorry” 

i thought you could combine flowers

like you could just send someone a bouquet and from the combination of hibiscus and posies and tulips they’d understand “the rebel leader is dead, rendezvous at the docks at 8, bring the dog, you will need lighter fluid and  a large tomato”

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Making gifs is hard

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