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taakitz is actually extremely funny in the context that both taako and kravitz seemingly gravitated towards each other because they were longing for an anchor, something stable and simple as a break from their chaotic and incredibly high stakes jobs that had taken over their lives, and for this they both chose the weirdest most insane goddamn person theyd ever met. and it worked

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UNDERTALE is finally here.

In this jRPG, you don’t have to kill anyone. Instead, you can make friends with your enemies.

About 5-6 hours long. No grinding. No fetch quests. With random encounters that will make you smile instead of screaming. And the soundtrack contains 70+ tracks worth of music by “Toby Fox” of Homestuck fame.

Please check it out. http://undertale.com

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late thought abt undertale but listen, lots of people talked about intention to kill/violence itself making the hits powerful in great genius detail and then a lot of people made jokes abt 1 hp sans dying from Papyrus passing him the remote so what im saying is for monsters, as long as you dont intend to hurt someone you can use as much force as you like and they wont be harmed so you get hilarious scenarios like hyped up Undyne punching sans through a wall into the living room and Toriel and him have a “Hi Ron” “Hey Billy.” situation. Toriel drunk chucking pizzas at him so hard that one that misses him breaks clean out of the window hes just sitting there smiling fondly. 1 hp sans is safe because he is surrounded with people that love him

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Slams desk MORE WEAPONS

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Buck Up And Drive | indiegamelover.com/BuckUpAndDrive

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i want a 10k fic that’s just kravitz chasing barold j bluejeans around for the 10 years before the taz balance arc starts because barry is literally the only one he can actually chase with any sort of success but barry is also a wicked talented wizard and necromancer and always escapes before kravitz can actually catch him (methods of escape include: being crushed by poisonous vines and peacing out in his lich form; yelling ‘look over there!’ and then when kravitz ACTUALLY looks he casts blink and is gone before kravitz knows what’s up; yelling ‘look out!’ and then when kravitz laughs like ‘lol not falling for that’ krav just gets hit by a like, train or something and gets blasted back to the astral plane so barry escapes; literally just barold saying ‘can we PLEASE do this another day i’m too tired’ and then kravitz being so shocked that he just kind of. lets barry go before he realizes what happened; barry actually getting into a huge magical fight with kravitz and you get a super old reaper fighting a super talented necromancer with at least 100 years of practice and it’s honestly a great battle; kravitz trying to grab barry’s soul while he’s still in his human form but lich!barry left a message on the stone of farspeech saying ‘if a super handsome dude in a cloak with beady eyes and looking like he could be pissed about a spell you used to kind of kill his corporeal form once just comes up to you, kill yourself immediately, just trust me’; and other similar sorts of hilarity that leads to barry probably tripling his death count at LEAST)

anyway if you think about this, that awkward little wave that barry gives kravitz in story and song is way more fucking hilarious in this context

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be honest are you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it and Magnus mayhaps???

4. be honest are you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it

--

If there was anyone you didn't want to run into on your midnight run around the moon, it was your boss. The only thing that could possibly be worse than just running into your boss on your midnight run (while you are, notably, not wearing a shirt and also incredibly sweaty) is running into your crying boss on your midnight run.

And yet, here Magnus was.

The stars were bright up here on the moon, much brighter than they ever were planetside. Even through the glass dome that covered the quad, there was just enough light to run in without having to turn any lights on. It wasn't nearly enough to know exactly what was going on, but Magnus had been around here in the day enough times to know where he generally wanted to go.

But if anyone asked, he screamed to give the Director the satisfaction of thinking she got the jump on him, not because he hadn't seen her in the dark.

"What the actual hell are you doing?" the Director asked. Magnus, who had flung a knife towards her, felt a little bit embarrassed. Not that he'd ever admit that.

"Do you, uh, do you have my knife, or-?"

"Here," the Director said. There was a soft thud against the ground and a few balls of light popped into existence, hovering a few feet off the ground. Magnus blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to it. When he finally got used to it, the Director was yanking his knife out of the nearest tree.

"I meant to do that," Magnus said as she got it loose.

"Of course you did," the Director said, sounding like she didn't believe him in the slightest. She handed the knife back over to him and pretended not to watch him drop the other two knives he had with him while trying to put it away. He didn't know if it'd be more mortifying if she did say something, but her standing there awkwardly wasn't helping in the slightest.

"So, uh," Magnus said, standing back up. He had dirt stuck to his knees from where he had knelt down but the Director didn't comment on it. Her face was drawn tight and her eyes were brimmed with red. She looked... awful.

"You look awful," Magnus said.

"Thanks."

"No, I mean-!" Magnus groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. Great, now there was probably dirt on his face too. "You look... sad. Are you good, or...??? Did I interrupt something?"

"I-"

"Be honest," Magnus said. "Were you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it?

"Was I what?" the Director asked. And then, as she realized what he meant, "the Fantasy ASPCA one? With all the kittens stuck in the cages?"

"Yeah," Magnus said. "I cry about that one all the time, there's no reason to be ashamed-"

"I wasn't crying about the Fantasy ASPCA commercial, Magnus," the Director said.

"But you were crying?"

"Fuck," the Director said. "No, I wasn't."

"I'm pretty sure you were crying," Magnus said, bouncing on the tips of his toes. "D'you wanna talk about it?"

"That would be- unprofessional of me," the Director said. "So no, but thank you."

"Directoooor," Magnus said sweetly. The Director had the gall to roll her eyes at him.

"Magnussss," she said back, in the same tone. "No. I'm sorry, but no. I'm not actually that sorry, that's a lie. Listen, hey-" Magnus struggled to keep a laugh down. "What are you doing? You have training tomorrow."

"You're training us!" Magnus said.

"Fuck," the Director said again, with much more feeling. "You're right. Magnus, as the person who's training you tomorrow, and also as your boss, I command you to go to bed. Now, preferably."

"As the person you're training," Magnus shot back. "I command you go to bed."

"That's- that's not how this works," the Director said, but she was smiling now, so Magnus felt accomplished.

"Well, then we've reached a stalemate," Magnus said. The Director huffed, looking notably less awful than before. She turned and took a seat under the tree Magnus's knife had hit. A few of her joints popped as she slid to the ground. She patted the ground next to her and Magnus took her up on the offer, sitting down too.

The night sky was bright and the real moon was waning away, almost at another new moon stage. The Director set her staff at her feet and looked up, closing her eyes. The stars above their heads twinkled.

"I feel like there used to be more stars," Magnus said.

There was a beat before the Director responded,

"Growing up can make everything else seem a little smaller."

"True," Magnus said. He let his eyes slip close as well. Behind his eyelids, a small, skinny kitten stared pleadingly back out at him. "Well, now I'm thinking of the Fantasy ASPCA commercial."

"It really pulls at your heart, doesn't it?" the Director said.

"I just wanna help all of them!" Magnus said, already feeling close to tears himself.

"It's quiet time," the Director said. "Shh."

Magnus let out a little breath of annoyance but shut up all the same. He opened his eyes to look up at the sky again.

He didn't feel any more grown up than a minute ago, but he could have sworn there were a few patches of stars missing.

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:0 mayhaps 30 (hey bud. I didn't mean to reveal that I can read minds but I gotta know what in the actual hell is going on in your head, do you live like this? always??) and blupjeans please??

30. hey bud. I didn't mean to reveal that I can read minds but I gotta know what in the actual hell is going on in your head, do you live like this? always??

(no longer accepting but u can find the prompt list here!)

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The worst thing about being able to read minds, Barry thought, was that he had no context to go with anything he heard.

Maybe he should have been concerned about the invasion of privacy or the fact that he had to look directly in the person's eyes to actually be able to read their mind (which was pretty shitty, actually) but at this point? He honestly could care less. He didn't try to look in anyone's eyes anyway, eye contact was a pain even on a good day. He did not enjoy going to job interviews and hearing what the interviewer thought about him as Barry tried to maintain Professional Eye Contact with them.

Shouldn't humans, as a society, have moved past needing to look each other in the eyes by now?

No, the worst thing was definitely the lack of context. It was even worse when driving because Barry did not want to hear other people's music, filtered through the person's mind. He has rickrolled himself at least a dozen times already. And just meeting someone's eyes on the street? Awful. The number of times he has been subjected to the sudden "look away, look away" makes it almost not worth it to leave his house. And Barry needed a lot of motivation to leave his house.

So when he met the eye of the woman sitting next to him on the bus (after a whole day of interviews and random music and trying to order himself some McDonalds like a fucking regular person) something inside him snapped.

She was listening to Never Gonna Give You Up.

The Kermit the Frog version.

"Hey- hey bud?" Barry said, catching her attention. She took an airpod out, raising a single eyebrow at him. "I didn't wanna reveal that I can read minds but I gotta know what in the actual hell is going on in your head. Do you live like this? Always?"

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Why in the absolute hell are you subjecting yourself to this?" Barry asked, gesturing to her phone. She hit pause on the music. "Why does anyone subject themselves to it? It's not even a good song, can I just get a moment of rest?"

He leaned back in his seat, putting his hands up over his eyes. There's an ache growing at his temples. Barry groaned.

"Are you... cool?" the woman asked. Barry had almost forgotten she was there. "'Cus like, normally I'd just blow whatever that was off, but, uh. You needa talk to someone or like...? I have a subway coupon if you want it?"

"I'm good," Barry said, feeling very not good at all. "Sorry."

"It's cool, my man," she said. And then, "the reading mind thing was like, a joke, right?"

"I wish," Barry muttered.

"What number am I thinking of?" she said. Barry rolled his eyes. He didn't even have to look at her for this one.

"Four-twenty," he said.

"Damn," she said, sounding impressed. "You're good."

"You've got a weed necklace," Barry said, peeking out from beneath his hands. She looked down at her necklace.

"That I do," she said. "What's your name?"

"Barry," he said, sitting up a bit, because he was a goddamn adult and won't allow himself to have a breakdown until he gets home. "Yours?"

"Don't you know that already?" she asked, grinning at him. She laughed at his expression. "Joking, homie. It's Lup."

"Nice to meet you," Barry said. He took a deep breath, massaging his temples. "I'm sorry for insulting your music taste."

"Do you wanna listen?" she asked, offering an airpod to him. Barry hesitated and caught her eye for just a second- a very bad version of Wonderwall was now playing. He sighed.

"Yeah," he said, taking it and popping it into his ear. "Can't be any worse than just sitting here."

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New superhero: Crime Man.

He stops crimes exclusively by comitting crimes. He out-crimes the criminals.

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okay so keeping in mind the idea that the twins picked their own birthdays (yes, plural) because they don’t know when the actual date is:

since kravitz died such a long time ago, he also doesn’t quite remember when his birthday was. i was going to say that taako makes him pick a new one. and it’s very sweet, kravitz is touched, it’s been so long since he’s gotten to care about stuff like this, like yeah, sure, of course,

but in addition to that they also celebrate his death day. this one is lup and barry enforced, taako approved. they dress in black and hold a wake. but like, kravitz’s wake. it’s a wake for kravitz. occasionally they make him lay in an open casket and try to figure out who “killed” him, murder mystery party style. 

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stolen century story where magnus, davenport, and the twins are on some crazy adventure to find the light planetside but it occasionally cuts back to the starblaster where merle barry and lucretia are just chilling

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i've always liked the hc that no one knows barry's lactose intolerant until a few cycles in bc it's just so fucking stupid. like why would he need to hide this??? taako and lup are literally the assigned chefs of the mission n he's just like :) they dont need to know this very important thing about my diet.

barry, facing the apocalypse every year: this is fine

barry, at the idea of telling someone he needs specific lactose free food: this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me

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one of my long running headcannons for Stolen Century is that whenever the crew misplaces Taako he kinda just… invents a new persona for the cycle. And it makes him nigh impossible to find again.

I mean, sometimes, he just opens a restaurant, or starts a weird cult of personality, and those times they can probably track him down. But the rest of the time he ends up in completely random situations/identities, such as;

Fisherman: They found him after a handful of the crew go overboard during a storm. Taako and a crew of alien fisherpeople scooped them out of the water. The aliens thought that Taako’s name was Diego. He kept talking about the sea like he didn’t refuse to go near the water for six months in cycle 56 because he saw a weird, translucent eel in the shallows. He’s wearing bedazzled rubber boots. 

Auctioneer: which wouldn’t be too weird if it was just a hussle, but. He seems serious? This is a charity auction? Someone hired him, Taako, to do this. No one knew he could talk fast like that  (he’s cheating with a haste spell).

Actual, Literal Doctor: Apparently Taako got admitted to a hospitable and somehow ended up taking over by sheer force of personality. He keeps walking around with a limp and diagnosing people with incredibly rare diseases. He has done so many medical crimes, but somehow he keeps being right. 

Truck Driver: Taako has always been the worst driver and yet someone gave him a 80k ton vehicle that he’s not even proficient in. It is absolutely full of candy wrappers and take out. He’s wearing overalls and he keeps saying “over” and “copy” even when he’s talking to the crew face to face. His Trucker Name is Ed.

Judge: The crew didn’t find him until they got into hot water with the local law enforcement and had to go through a hearing. Taako walked into the court room and everyone lost their goddamned minds. He pronounced them guilty on the spot. 

HR management: What are you doing at a desk job, Taako? Why aren’t you focusing on our world saving mission, Taako? The new hires aren’t going to make it past probation if we don’t find the Light, Taako. What do you mean we need to sign a form in triplicate? Did you design this form, specifically for this situation? Why does this look good? Your resume was one page of purple comic sans covered in scratch ‘n sniff stickers and cheeto dust. You’re making the Captain cry, Taako.