anti-endo-haven - Tumblr blog

[anti-endo-haven]

ur acct is a safe space for me /pos

I’m glad!!!! :D

[anti-endo-haven]

Helloooo we found a popular template blog?? and theyre so cool so uhhh @crows-templets !! theyre anti endo and make so many cool templates!!!

:3

[anti-endo-haven]

Hey so we have a question. We have a bunch of groups of fictives where when the form from the same source and we were a big shipper of them the alters kinda date too? Like one group before we realised we were plural we were big on the poly ship and now that we know we have all of them they all kinda date/are married and we were wondering if that's normal? Or because when they formed we were so set on them being in love the alters just formed already believing they were romantic partners.

It can be normal or believed that they’re already romantic partners. There’s no really set way for fictives to form. They can form with or without relationships.

Even our group of fictives from a source are sorta becoming like a poly couple and working together. Just really depends on the system, I suppose.

[anti-endo-haven]

This is the second Discord anon here. I hope you don't mind this,,,

This is a long shot, but if that friend is somehow reading this blog, we're still here. We used to be called The Star System back when this all happened. We'd like to get back into contact, if possible. If you guys don't want that, at least know that we're still out here and miss you all and hope you're doing well.

I hope your message in a bottle can get found and reconnection is possible if wanted.

[anti-endo-haven]

hey guys it took me 6 whole ass years to be able to handle learning about my headspace and 5 years of intensive around the clock therapy to handle learning about my parts . so perhaps consider your not faking for not knowing every thing . maybe believe if DID/OSDD is hard on others its hard on you. idk wild thought i can wait

[anti-endo-haven]

Hey Discord anon, we just wanted to say that we totally get why you'd be worried.

A couple years ago, we used to have a friend who was a mod in a Discord server, and he got banned because someone in the friend group manipulated the rest of us when said friend had a psychotic episode and the other person weaponized their delusions.. :( We tried to help fix things after all the chaos settled but it just made stuff worse. We eventually lost contact with that friend when the system deleted their Discord account. We think about them pretty often.

Yeah, some Discord servers can be terrible. Like even with it saying it’s a safe space, it turns out to not be that.

I’m sorry that you and your friends experienced the behavior of that one person (the manipulative one). I hope everyone is doing a bit better now.

Sorry for not commenting on much as well. (Allergies -> major headache)

[anti-endo-haven]

on one hand i dont wanna be seen as causing drama & i sure as hell dont want to be attacked for it but on the other hand...i had a very bad and triggering experience in a system discord server (one that is linked on tumblr) where i was targeted with ableism and then banned despite being the one who was intentionally triggered and i dont want that to happen to anyone else...idk if i should talk abt it. i dont want to get that treatment again either :(

I mean, it depends? If you just want to dm to talk it out to someone, feel free to dm me. Otherwise, if it’s not something I deem can be posted and you send an ask for it, I’ll just delete it.

[anti-endo-haven]

Once I have the mental capacity to think, I’ll answer more asks. I answered the one because I saw it last night and wanted to respond.

Other than that, I’ll be non-existent for a while.

[anti-endo-haven]

this isnt an attack, im genuinely trying to share my thoughts. if we just need to agree to disagree, sure. but hopefully someone understands where im coming from.

this is about tagging dormancy and fusion as "tw (dormancy/fusion)". i will be talking about what others have said and our personal experience. this is warning enough. please do not tag this post as "tw (dormancy/fusion)". i find that disrespectful, considering what im about to discuss. if you tag the words without tw, fine. but i do not want you putting a trigger warning on my healing journey.

as a system who have had their fair share of negative experiences with both dormancy and fusion, i understand how those subjects can be distressing. as a system who used to be scared of both of those things, i understand.

so, tagging the words? fine. it helping just filtering posts for other reasons too. but i heavily dislike the push to make everyone tag it as "tw (dormancy/fusion)". here are my reasons why:

- obviously the first is that, dont ask people to trigger warn their own healing? i know for some people these things aren't necessarily "healing" but it is healing for a lot of people, us included. and just because you don't have that as your experience as healing, doesn't mean i have to trigger warn my own progress. we've found emdr incredibly triggering and unhelpful for us, but we dont go running around telling everyone to tag it as "tw emdr". thats not fair. emdr helps a lot of people. our bad experience doesn't affect their good one.

- continuing on from that point. i have not seen a single person ever tag a post as "tw functional multiplicity". why do we have to tag one healing option but not the other? what about people who want to see how things go? do they need to say "tw unsure healing path"? if majority of people genuinely want to start forcing people to tag any kind of healing they are doing, im all for it. but i heavily doubt that'll happen.

- the "its anti-recovery" debate. i agree with this statement somewhat. is it necessarily anti-recovery? no (so yeah sure, i agree with that one anon a few asks back). but we found the more people tagged it, even for good things, it was so demonising and ostracising. it made us stress MORE by seeing the warning. it made us feel so incredibly guilty for having fusions and having people go dormant. because how dare we experience and enjoy something that is so triggering for others?

additionally, yes, absolutely rejecting that fusions will happen, is anti-recovery. we are and always have been aiming for functional multiplicity. over time we are more accepting and encouraging for fusions because that will almost always happen when healing. no, im not saying "its inevitable you will all fuse no matter what". what im saying is "it will genuinely surprise me if you go through the healing process and didn’t fuse at least once".

- if you are in a period of your life where the mere mention of it triggers you, block as many of the tags as you can. genuinely. block "dormancy". block "fusion". because i see at least majority of people tag that, even without the "tw" beforehand. if it is that bad, and tumblrs little "this post contains #tw dormancy" bothers you, get off tumblr because you actually cant avoid that happening.

- "its a common trigger, its courteous that people tag it with "tw"". while yes, common triggers are of course courteous to tag, but i dont think you're the majority here. at least from what we've seen. idk could be wrong. please tw things that obviously need warnings (if you wanna argue over what counts, fucking go for it). but as always, you are still responsible for the content you engage with. if you see a post where in the first few sentences looks like itll talk about fusion or dormancy, or even if you see the word out of context on the post. go ahead and scroll or block that post for all i care.

if i made a post saying "i talked about some dormant alters in therapy today" or "that fusion between x and x finally happened" or even "im really proud of how far weve come, weve made good progress with integrating certain alters and maybe i wanna fuse soon". and you have an intense triggered reaction, that is your responsibility to deal with. if you cannot be safe online with the content you may view, you should not be going online. block tags, block creators. do things to keep yourself safe, but you need to be okay with the fact that you still have a chance of running into triggers.

again, you can tag this post as dormancy and fusion, but im going to feel disrespected if you go against my wishes and tag it as "tw (fusion/dormancy)"

- JADS

I understand where you’re coming from, and the push for censoring it is harming those that do have it as a healing method.

And I won’t trigger warn this post since you’ve requested it not be warned, but I’ll still add the dormancy and fusion tags.

I completely understand the points you made, but I also want to further explain why I add the tw here on the blog.

It’s not meant as a means of demonizing a healing process, it’s to cover bases for those that just don’t want to see it or have forgotten to add “dormancy” or “fusion” as a single filtered tag. It’s not meant as a mean ordeal or as anti-recovery. It’s there for those that just can’t deal with it currently or the talk of it has issues for them.

Am I responsible for what is on peoples dashes? No. But I am responsible for the tags that I use, something that I like making sure bases are crossed on so everyone can stay safe.

As someone who has had dormancy and fusions happen, it causes a mental strain for us to think on it. Does that mean we trigger warn it? No. We don’t even have the tags filtered because it’s something that can happen. But do we warn it for others that might not be ready or are currently dealing with a lot of things already? Yes.

Again, it’s not for anti-recovery, and it might seem that way. But I like knowing what’s being talked about when I’m scrolling through tumblr or sysblr as a blanket statement on if I can read it or not.

Such as if we’ve currently had someone that’s helped the system so much that just goes dormant and leaves multiple parts heartbroken? I won’t be in the spot to read anything about dormancy but I’m glad that others are able to heal and continue healing with it. But at that time, we have felt like someone close to us has gone, even if they can come back, but they can come back different or not the same.

I don’t know if any of that made sense or provides any extra insight on why the TW for both is here on the page, but hopefully it helps some?

I do appreciate you putting your views on it. But I also want to state that everyone will view things differently and different times and that’s alright.

I know some might also have some situations where dormancy and fusion just doesn’t seem fun due to final fusion being seen as the catch all healing option rather than functional multiplicity, but the community really just needs to do better as a whole of letting people heal in a way that works best for them rather than trying to force a healing path on someone else. (Not an attack on you, just a general statement because I feel like the healing options have become a zone of constant belittling to others about).

[anti-endo-haven]

its regretevator!! its on roblox, and its currently our biggest hyperfixation rn

okay so basically the main point of the game is that you get on an elevator and it takes you to a bunch of different floors! they have a lot of different challenges you have to complete, like clicking a bunch of buttons, escaping a flood, etc. its rlly fun!

also theres npcs! they can get off at specific levels and enter the elevator with you, and if you have two or more they can talk to eachother!! our favorites are poob, lampert, and infected. fun fact! our signoff is actually inspired by two of the characters, infected and lampert!!

its not super grindy but also doesn’t have a main goal, besides just seeing how many floors you can get through.

also theres a bunch of lore with the npcs that’s currently being revealed, though that would take hours to explain fully. Akshkdhdjd sorry im totally infodumping

-🩷🔌

It’s fine! Infodump away! We don’t play any Roblox games so it’s interesting to hear about them!

I hope the game is good!!

[anti-endo-haven]

THERE ARE NOSTALGIA HOLDERS????

.....looks at the alter we have that is literally just host at 9 years old

ohhhh nooooo

There can be any type of holder as long as your brain seems it necessary. :D

[anti-endo-haven]

Hopping on another anon, im just too good.. source mates is such a strange topic no matter where you go and there's so many communities that use that and actively harm recovering systems. AND if you tell them its anti recovery, they're like YOU'RE SUCH A DOWNER, YOU'RE A SYSMED, ETC ETC.

I've been at the ends of the traumatizing and toxic relationships, even FORCED relationships the sourcemate recon has brought upon communities.

I've also had my eren jaeger fictive be at the hate and attack, rebuttal of eremika shippers for seeing her sister as HER SISTER and not someone she wants to love. Like she's in a very committed relationship of 6 years, married with a kid and you were still worried about her seeing mikasa as her sister? weird!

Man, the sourcemate channels in some Discord servers… they do more damage than good and I know some alters might miss people from source, but you do not know the other person and trying to know someone simply just from source isn’t always going to work out.

I despise sourcecall channels with a passion for what they do to systems and alters in general. It’s terrible.

[anti-endo-haven]

pretty much, but she bought like 200 bucks worth of it

Oh… that’s not good…

[anti-endo-haven]

Before we realized we were a system, and after the inside out movie came out, when we were stressed/feeling bad the Jost at the time would imagine herself at a desk and talk to her brain to try and calm down, same with the SpongeBob clip of all the mini hims running an office in his brain. We look back at that now, just knowing we did that and not what was talked about/who was seen and go "huh that's... funny"

The SpongeBob one is such a relatable thing at this point for us. Even without an IW or being able to see it, it really shows how systems can be.

I’m glad that you can look back at those things and I’m glad that it’s helped, especially Inside Out being a helping hand with the board meeting room.

[anti-endo-haven]

Lmao imagine being so unhappy with yourself and your relationship status that you have to go try and ruin other peoples relationships? imagine, on top of that, doing it all on anon? Get a life nerd /nay

anyways here’s some silly stuff with the babes because we need happy positive sturf here!

(Context: you get none)

This was so long ago for what this ask is towards so there’s also no other context :3c

But yeah. Having people try and ruin others relationships is just a waste of time and it doesn’t accomplish anything. Especially when both parties are heavily anxious with severe separation anxiety so.

Yeah.

[anti-endo-haven]

im getting fuckin bullied n shit bc i asked you what an endo is

I’m sorry :(

I know that the best you can do is block and report accounts for the harassment that they do.

You don’t deserve the harassment or bullying. You asked a simple question, one from a place you potentially trusted.

I’m sorry that you’re being met with behavior like that. You don’t deserve it.

🫂

[anti-endo-haven]

Our little bought a bunch of pediasure because she.formed wben we like lived on thag help

Those are like the uh… protein shakes right?

We love protein shakes a little too much. Always makes us sick with how many drink. But they’re good.