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This feeling that's eluded me is strong.

at the mercy of the waves my will is gone

the secrets Autumn breathes imply

the sun won't always satisfy

and everything that's beautiful will die

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If I never get to LA tell my momma that I love her

Why do I stick with what's so painful and familiar

Imma live so fast but I'll haunt you when it's over

Forever on my lonely still an Iowa lover

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But it tastes so sweet to be alone

when bitter thoughts crash through my dome

but I can't tell you that

This brittle shell is all I've known

you look right through my monochrome

but I can't tell you that

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I'm getting used to losing friends

I'm losing weight and confidence

I'm at arms length and on my knees

my final fight my last defeat

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My heart is getting used to hardening

But you feel just like heroin

This world is such an ugly thing

It hurts so much less when let you in

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Oh light of my life I am hurting again

I was alone with familiars on Saturday when

The feeling washed over me silent and slow

I'm languid from running away and it shows

Draw near me and offer me comfort and peace

I promise to love you if you never leave

Oh light of my life I am swallowed in pain

The path lay before me obscured in the rain

Don't follow my lead if you value your health

But I'm pressing onwards until my last breath

If you've had enough I swear I'll understand

Leave me behind and let go of my hand

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