anxiousaprilaries

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Would you live in the darkness? To walk miles and miles, holding onto the hope that it will be worth it in the end? Searching for the light even though you don't remember if it actually exists?

Or would you live in the light, blinding yourself forever and ever? To live indulgently and forget your purpose? Clinging to such desires that you can't see that your path was never finshed?

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Thinking about how if Vanitas was the one to survive instead he'd live as a ghost, pretending Noe never existed and laugh thinly when he was mentioned, smile so fragile everyone can see through it.

He'll be shattered to the point where he can't find his pieces anymore.

He'll act like nothing was wrong, living his days like normal while their friends grieve. They don't understand why he's so unaffected, and assumes that Vanitas really didn't get attached to Noe like he'd claimed.

Nobody notices until months passed that he seems to be going through his life like a machine. He'll say the same words every conversation. He'll stop in front of stairs and will stare blankly at them as if he sees Noe in them. He'll order sweets at a cafe and set it to the seat next to him instinctively, always leaving the staff baffled when he exits without touching the treat.

[anxiousaprilaries]

hot take but i FIRMLY believe vanitas gets no smooches (or anything beyond that) but he lies about it bc he'd rather die than admit it i mean, just LOOK AT HIM!!

(not the best panel for this thought, but you get the point) my boy has a deep fear of being vulnerable. like, i firmly believe he would unironically rather jump off a roof and die than to be vulnerable when anyone is around (at least pre-noe)

and then we have noe. and boy- is this a man who loves and loves fiercely. y'know the hozier song "someone new"? yeah, that basically describes how noe approaches love in my mind. i firmly believe noe has had a couple of experiences (i don't think he's like super ✨experienced✨, but bros defo at least kissed a few people) and will drag vanitas kicking and screaming into being open and vulnerable.

"the moon looks beautiful" is a love confession, and noe is the only vampire to love the blue moon (vanitas, in this metaphor)

i just-

noe is so full of love, and vanitas needs so much love. they're perfect for each other.

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Congratulations! New brainrot acquired!

Achievement : Looping EPIC the musical album for a week.

[anxiousaprilaries]

Astolfo in modern au. I drew eyeshadowed-eyes once and imagined of him as an emo art major that wears a soft pink sweater.

[anxiousaprilaries]

Picture this with me :

Noe being stiff and awkward around Vanitas, avoiding eye contact with him because in their first meeting... he grabbed his ankle. The ankle of all things! Yes, he didn't have much of a choice since he wanted to save him but he's a gentleman! Teacher taught him better than that! Ankles were scandalous and that's the first place he touches him? Where had his decency gone?

Vnc is set in 19th century, after the victorian era so it could technically work.

[anxiousaprilaries]

No thoughts, just the certainty of Vanitas always making sure to present himself as immaculent, nails cut and taken care of despite being hidden under his gloves, clothes always pressed and ironed the first thing in the morning, hair is smooth and silky despite the pain it is to maintain, yet his lips are always bleeding and chapped because he bites and peels at them whenever he's thinking about something. His plans, the nearest escape route, Noe.

[anxiousaprilaries]

So idk if this is an actual au or not but hear me out : Fictional character au. Wherein person A is a real life person infratuated with person B who is a fictional character. Yes, exactly like how you simp for an anime character.

Now depending on your ship I suppose you can end it in this hopeless one-sided pining or maybe the rl person actually finds and falls in love with someone who is exactly like the fictional character.

(Yes I did come up for this for Vanoe what did you expect? Can you imagine? Noe being a fanboy for this one book character and buying their merch and simping so hard that when he met/fell in love with Vanitas he thinks the universe shoved him into his life for Noe to adore. Like full on drown him in much needed love.

And meanwhile Vanitas who just begrudgingly accepts this idiot's affection since obviously he's never going to leave him alone anymore for the rest of his life. Not that he minds since he's also grown fond of him)

[anxiousaprilaries]

Ya'll remember Noe's narration in chapter 1 when he told us that he killed Vanitas? Well, I have finally found time to watch ep 1 of the anime and boy was calm af when making that truthbomb. Have to say, I kinda expected that but also really surprised me.

Cause when I read the manga first I had initially thought he had gotten over his death and was simply recording down his time with Vanitas. But then Plot was revealed and shit went down and it never hit me until i watched that scene again in the anime.

Y'know all the assumptions flying around speculating that the reason Noe killed Vanitas was because of Ruthven's hypnosis bullshit? Well, i don't think he would handle the grief well, especially if the dead person in question is the dude you've formed a sudden and dependent attachment few months ago and promised to kill. And especially not if it mirrors a past favor from a (also dead) friend which you've failed to honor. And add on the fact that he (probably) did the deed on the influence of the hypnosis is like the cherry on top of this explosive sundae.

My point is, how do you think this sunshine boy would have coped with all that trauma :)

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Fic Idea : For the Domijeanne fans, I think that the ship will do well in a Mizisua au. Idk, The thought of Dominique crying over Jeanne's dead body just came to me and it was devastating. The other part of my brain though, says that Jeanne is quite alike to Mizi, like I can see Jeanne strangling alnst Luka if he was mocking her about Dominique's death.

Anyway, this could be established relationship or pre-feelings revelation while they're living in the orphanage. Honestly, I don't think Vanoe would fare any better in this but i'd love to see it anyway if anyone writes this.