arilesser

[arilesser]

Maybe if you knew she would grow older

Missing you with every second

Bearing grief on her small shoulders

A prodigy, a force to be reckoned.

Maybe if you knew when he would grow

He could be mistaken for his father long gone.

Familial love can’t replace the love you showed

But it is all that is left for him to lean on.

Maybe if you knew he would change

Attempting to flee the memory of that day

Life without his constant was too strange

Color was drained and all was grey.

Maybe if you knew what your mothers all said

To the girl whose heart kept breaking

Love doesn’t translate when whispered from the dead

Maybe if you knew, we wouldn’t be left here aching.

Maybe if you knew.

[arilesser]

She is hungry

Not just for tangled sheets

And touches of sin

This deep night she starves

To feed her soul within

It’s always about the chase

About the hunt, the thrill

Skin bare, torn though lace

Thirsty, drinking their fill

In the moment she isn’t alone

But after the sparks will the dark return?

Unable to handle this chance blown,

Will her flame be doused or brightly burn?

[arilesser]

The Learning Curve

I didn’t mean to cry

I didn’t mean to “pout”

Waves, uncontrollable

Discovered a way out.

Attempted to rebuild the dam.

New leaks threatening to form

With every hit of your hand,

A catalyst for the next storm.

Now let’s drown in drink

Fade in the smoke

Soak in the inability to think

Numb yourself before you dare emote.

Too callous and cold

Nothing behind this empty gaze

The spark of life was stole

Wishing for poison at the end of the maze.

The higher the wall, the longer the fall

Decades old in the making

Light within reach if I answer the call

On the edge, ready but shaking

Your pleads fall on deaf ears.

Haven’t you learned there’s no crying here?

[arilesser]

Stuck on a pendulum,

Swinging between light and dark,

Tiring of the adrenaline,

Dimmed to a simple spark.

Steady me and light me on fire,

Envelop me in an orbit of our own making,

Soaring higher and higher,

Only exsisting before, now finally awaking.

Let our shadows slow dance,

In harmony, steps ablaze,

Entertain my plea,

We could be alive all our days.

[arilesser]

Sea Of Loss

Throat clenching, can’t breathe

Too many stones on top of me

As the roaring tsunami comes

Treacherous grief coming undone

Brace for the inevitable, swallow down flames

That steal my air as I choke on your names

My soul being ripped apart without warning

Remembering the bitter taste of mourning

There is no prelude, no way of escape

Surrender to the drowning, beneath the wave

Eventually I will be released from the pit

Spit out, devastated and split

Tears blurring my vision, the sea of loss retreats from me

Leaving me alone with nothing but our memories.

[arilesser]

Hey 😏 it’s good to be back

[arilesser]

Head Case

You use your dirty fingers

To stir up my head

Whispering sweet nothings

To slither into my bed

What could have been

Dreamy ghosts of ash

Almost like a past promise

A check too late to cash

You desire sweet surrender

Assuming I’ll submit.

I’m not the girl you used to know

A snake can still get bit.

It won’t be loud and crashing,

Quietly you’ll bleed

Keep your hands out of my head

Or you’ll be the one to plead

I could make every wish come true

Fulfill your every last desire

If you’re a man of your word

But I think you’re a liar.

A.L.

[arilesser]

Insatiable

Siren 

Drown men in desire

Lost in waves of lust 

Suffocate in sensations of pleasure

Succubus 

Seduce men in their hunger 

Feed them their darkest desires

To awaken, finding just a dream 

Medusa 

Charm and lure, a tempting promise on her lips 

Freeze them to stone, lust forever forsaken 

Weapon and a curse

Insatiable thirst unable to be quenched 

Sinking, phantoms, and statues 

Are all that’s left.  

[arilesser]

Ghost

Stab in the back

Punch in the dark

Know where you come from

Know who you are

Foe dressed as friend

Knife hidden in your hand

No longer stealthy

Won’t catch me again

No more power

Under the ban

Forked tongue silent

Gag shoved in

Though power depleted

Still in my head

Voice is haunting

Back from the dead

Need an exorcism

Tired of this duality

Banish endlessly

From my reality

[arilesser]

Still don’t.

[arilesser]

I miss summer 💔

[arilesser]

Dark

Do we make love to the body

Or the person within?

Do we love a sunset for the glory

Or the colors that splash the sky in sin?

Do we worship heroes for their bravery

Or the delight of evil’s end, blood on the wall?

Do we await the future impatiently

Or desire increased distance from the past, too painful to recall?

Do we love chaos or calm

The dark or the light?

Again and again we prove

What none will admit outright.

We love to toe the line

We love danger and thrill

Mixing dark with light

Knowing it’s kill or be killed.

[arilesser]

Four years

I should have come to you

Like I desperately wanted

You would have known what to do

Like we had never parted.

Some may assume

I don’t know enough about it

It’s not for them to presume

How you and I felt, why we split

Cliche to say it was always you

It felt like only you were the fix

I wanted to come by,out of the blue

Fear of judgement got in the mix.

I know you would have listened

Maybe held me tight.

From there we could’ve petitioned

Our hearts to fight.

I wanted your touch and lips

I wanted you by my side once more

Now it’s an empty eclipse

What if’s, onto year four.

You came in a dream

Where I could feel your heart beat

All I imagine it to mean

That now we are both incomplete.

I’ll always love you

Thoughts swirl all the time

I wish I could go back to

The time when you were mine.

I wonder if it’s just me

Thinking you felt the same

But the way you’d look at me, they would agree

On that last day, those thoughts have no claim

Should have stopped, should have said.

Now I have a soulless body

And you are dead.

[arilesser]

[arilesser]

imagine how powerful i would be if i felt completely comfortable with my body and mind and actually had a sense of self esteem

[arilesser]

Waiting.

Trying to break the pattern of my painful past,

Authenticity is often questioned,

Former liars, a long shadow cast.

What would I gain from lying?

Pretty much everything

Without much trying.

How could I do that to you?

This world revolves around getting cake

And eating it too.

Maybe you aren’t like the rest,

Of which, you constantly insist

And I consistently put to the test.

But this is what I fear,

Maybe you are better at hiding what you are

And you just tell me what I want to hear.

These thoughts I cannot shake,

For when it’s too good to be true,

It often means it’s fake.

Perhaps it’s presumptive on my part,

To keep seconding guessing,

Waiting for a broken heart.

[arilesser]

Through the days long,

The nights alone.

Peace cannot find me,

For I am not home.

Sleep escapes me,

Runs to the stars, to hide in the sky blue.

Across the mountains, the place I should be,

My home, and settles in the empty space beside you.