aro-problems

[aro-problems]

having a ponder about being aromantic and the kinds of friendships or qprs I might want to have

[aro-problems]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[aro-problems]

[aro-problems]

[image ID: Bernie Sanders meme with a small aromantic flag captioned “I am once again asking for you to include aromantics in your pride art/posts/merch” End ID]

[aro-problems]

"love is love" until it doesn't include sex

"love is love" until it lives in separate beds

"love is love" until it is queer platonic

"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity

love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships

"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable

Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer

[aro-problems]

"we need more weird queers!!"

you start parroting TERF talking points the milisecond someone says they are a lesboy or gaygirl

you cry when mspec lesbians/gays exist

you refuse to use neopronouns or it/its, even when those are a persons only set of pronouns

you expect a-specs to experience attraction in some way (yes, that includes platonic attraction)

you exclude intersex people

you can't even accept furries.

[aro-problems]

Me: *sees something green*

Me: *internally* 'dont say it you are not out to these people it will be weird-'

Me: "aro coded"

Me: *internally* 'goddamn it'

[aro-problems]

As someone who is aroace I just crave to have a friendship that won't ever change just because the other person gets a partner.

I am aware of the fact that most people feel romantic attraction and I will just have to live with all my friendships prioritizing their romantic partners over me, but knowing this doesn't mean I am ok with it or that it doesn't hurt when it happens.

[aro-problems]

Sorry for the long hiatus, I needed to take some time to figure myself out. As it turns out, I’m still more aro than I thought, and still just as confused.

[aro-problems]

"aPhObIa IsN't ReAl"

my best friend told me to my face, knowing that I'm aro, that aromantic is a label for people who can't get bitches and then say its because they don't want bitches.

she said it was a joke, and for everyone wondering what the big deal is, think about it like this.

let's say, a gay dude is talking to his best friend, who then says something like this "being gay is unnatural". as a joke. that would not be funny.

homophobic jokes are homophobic.

aphobic jokes are aphobic.

aros are valid. always.

[aro-problems]

I can’t stand forced romance in media. You’re telling me this man and woman who’ve barely spoken to each other, have not flirted at all and have barely been together for three scenes are in love??? Like am I just too aroace to see it?? I always feel so surprised

[aro-problems]

Being aro is so lonely. Not because you're not in a relationship but because everyone else is and it's the only thing they care about.

[aro-problems]

bitches will be like "oh yeah your heart beats really hard and you breathe faster, and you get, like, butterflies in your stomach" when you ask them what a crush is like no fam that is a panic attack

[aro-problems]

I’m glad this resonated with so many people. This is how I determined I’m actually demi and am now in my first relationship.

Since this blog is dedicated to aro problems, I am going to attempt to explain one of the biggest problems that I see people confused about, which is how to recognize romantic attraction.

Here are signs you are experiencing romantic attraction, from a fellow arospec person who started experiencing it out of nowhere:

1. You can’t stop thinking about the person. It’s nonstop. They’re stuck in your head and they won’t leave. Your brain keeps going back to them constantly. All thoughts seem to lead back to them. After a while, you really start to notice just how much you are thinking about this person.

2. You feel really intense emotions towards them. Like, more so than you would for anyone else. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a specific “romantic” feeling, your emotions are just suddenly over the top in regard to that person.

3. You want them really bad. Like, really bad. Craving being around them, feeling clingy, etc.

4. You let them get closer than you would anyone else. For some reason, you feel extra comfortable around them, and you can’t seem to explain why, other than you really want them around.

5. For some reason, their clothes make you feel safer and comfier. You generally feel very comfortable around them and get extra emotional at objects that remind you of them. Far more comfortable than you normally are.

6. If you’re autistic, they might not drain your social battery nearly as much as others would, or at all. You also feel “hyperfixated” on them, if that makes sense.

7. You can’t stop thinking about the things that make them happy. You are constantly thinking about that book they recommended you, or that show they like, for example. You are often thinking about new things they might like, because you want very desperately to get closer to them.

8. You have a very strong, overwhelming urge to get closer to this person, in any way you can.

In conclusion, romantic feelings are incredibly difficult to differentiate from platonic/acquaintance feelings for aros who are unsure. “Romance” as an overall concept is deeply complex. The key takeaway here is that whatever feelings and behaviors you might normally have for a person, will likely be strongly magnified once you experience romantic attraction. It even feels like obsession once you do feel it finally, because everything is suddenly so strong out of nowhere, if that makes sense. This has been my personal experience with it, and the best hint I can give to help you determine your own experience.

There is so much overlap between platonic romantic and platonic attraction, because you can feel similar levels of emotion in platonic friendships. This makes it very hard to tell the difference. Therefore, I also feel that romantic attraction is really only there if you want to define it that way. The catch here is that you might feel that your feelings can be described as platonic instead, so it’s really up to you to decide and define what you are feeling. I know that sounds confusing, but because of the overlap between platonic and romantic attraction, I don’t think there is actually a single, overarching way to experience romantic attraction. Instead, romantic attraction is highly personalized, and you can really define it in whatever way you feel makes sense to you.

[aro-problems]

You guys 🥺 I am dating them now

[aro-problems]

arospec people, whats your opinion on valentines day?

[aro-problems]

Help… I just confessed my feelings to them…couldn’t stop myself. WTF is happening to me 😣