ask-a-radqueer

[ask-a-radqueer]

Hiya! I can’t tell if this was made constructively or hatefully based on the language, but I decided to approach it as if constructive and not intending to insult

1. I did not utilise “want to be but you’re not” language here! I listed various ways that people define transids, and it’s not hard to notice that people often define them differently than transgender and others define it the same way, so I included multiple approaches. To quote myself: “transintersex refers to:

- those who feel they should be intersex (most common definition in my experience)

- those who identify as intersex whilst not having intersex traits (references identity vs body, acknowledges that they identify as intersex and are, they just don’t possess intersex traits, which is perfectly fine to acknowledge and is done with transgender people)

- or those who otherwise identify as intersex in a transid way (super open alternative definition, includes trisintersex and others)”

I don't think I could've made that any more broad really. Even when I summarised this down, I used these definitions: “if you are transintersex, this means:

- you feel as if you should have an intersex variation or several (again, most common definition)

- and/or identify as having one in a trans way (super open definition, acknowledges that they identify this way and are this way in a trans sense)"

I wanted to correct that point because I don’t like being misrepresented, and ‘wanting to be but not actually being’ is not how I view transids at all as a transid person and I did not say it once. The word ‘want’ doesn’t occur in my post at all.

2. I made points about how desiring both perinormative fully-functional sets of genitals and other fictional concepts would not be considered transintersex because, largely, they’re not considered intersex and the intersex community doesn’t like them being considered intersex. There are other terms for this (eg. Bigenital, salmacian, altersex, xenosex, varsex also includes this)

The community for a while now hasn’t liked how fictional concepts are grouped in with very much real people, because it misrepresents what is humanly possible and contributes to misinformation about being intersex. It also contributes to people claiming intersex representation when the representation in question actually doesn’t represent any existing experience because the it’s fictional. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this, but I really do think it’s for the best that people don’t conflate real intersex traits with fictional sex variations

You can use anything to describe whatever, you have freedom, my post is just guidance

3. I expanded on this point here (link), I think my wording of it wasn’t the best I’ve done and this is better explained. In short, I do not think it's the best practice to tell any group, especially marginalised ones, that you're jealous of them without knowing they're entirely fine with it first. Even less so if they're talking about their struggles when you decide to say it.

If you're wanting to express that you wish something was the case for you, I just don't think jealous is the word to use. In an intersex context, it's a phrase that's been so commonly used against us that it's especially hard to hear. Telling us this with no further context or insight into how you're really feeling will come across as insensitive.

You can be jealous, but it's important to be conscious of where and why you're saying it, whether it's really the word you want to use, and to ensure the other party understands what you really mean.

Things the Transid Community Needs to Understand About Intersex!

A little PSA by a transid cisintersex person about how intersex people are talked about in the community and how we can make it better for cisintersex and transintersex people alike!

Intersex refers to people born with sex characteristics that don't fit the typical 'male' or 'female' sexes, also called wolffian and mullerian

Transintersex refers to those who feel they should be intersex, identify as intersex whilst not having intersex traits, or otherwise identify as intersex in a transid way

If you are transintersex, this means that you feel as if you should have an intersex variation (or several) and/or identify as having one in a trans way

Transintersex is not the word to use if you feel as if you should:

Be bigenital and having both fully-functioning, perinormative, genitalia. This is a fictionalised concept, not an intersex variation! Ambiguous genitalia exists and people can have both sets, but it does not present in the perinormative way you see in NSFW fiction - Alternatives: transbigenital, salmacian

Have any other fictional sex traits or sex trait combinations. This includes the fictional sex characteristics you see in omegaverse and similar NSFW content - these are not intersex variations - Alternatives: transids specific to these fictional sex traits

Have things like an androgynous facial structure, a beard whilst AFAB, and other independent traits that aren't inherently caused by being intersex. This doesn't apply if you feel like you should have an intersex variation on top of these things - Alternatives: transids specific to these traits

I recommend really looking into what makes you feel connected to the intersex identity / experience and see if you're maybe reducing intersex down to a certain trait, or if you actually feel as if you should have an intersex variation

It is still insensitive to say "I'm jealous of (cis)intersex people" even if you are transintersex. We are not a monolith - all of us have different experiences and intersex variations, and many of us have had our bodily autonomy stripped away, gone years not knowing who we truly are, faced deep oppression and dis/misinformation, and so on

Addon for para communities especially: Bigenital fictional characteres are not intersex! NSFW content featuring bigenital characters is not intersex NSFW content! Do not tag it as intersex! Also, the Japanese word for these characters is an intersexist slur just like the H slur! End of post yay

[ask-a-radqueer]

Q: Is it wrong for transid people to express jealousy towards cisid people?

My replies are broken, might be shadowbanned? So I'm using this to respond to @rqcalt's comment! Made the title a bit more broad since my response applies to everything basically

I think saying you're jealous of any community when faced with its members should be done with extreme caution because, ultimately, you don't know what someone is going through and communities of people aren't a monolith - there is no singular experience to be jealous of.

If you're still wanting to express this kind of thing "I'm jealous of intersex people" and "I'm jealous of cis women" aren't the best ways to go about it and it's very likely someone will feel like they're being perceived as having privileges or advantages that they don't have. After all, jealousy is usually "feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages" and it'll be people's instinctive response to just being told that out of the blue.

Jealousy is characterised by resentment and in excess it can become a really unhealthy emotion.

If you're wanting to express that you wish something was the case for you, I just don't think jealous is the word to use. "I feel like I should've been born a woman" or "I feel like I should've had PAIS (my intersex variation)" is the best option in my personal experience. I still think we need to be aware of who we're saying these things to and the context of the conversation, though.

For example, intersex people especially have been told for so long that people are jealous of us because they think being intersex is being 'naturally non-binary' and a way to pass as non-binary and so on, which is not true and paints us as a monolith. Telling an intersex person you're jealous of them with no further context will come across as equally insensitive.

I also want to add that, in the transid community especially, it's not uncommon to see people who aren't also transexperience towards the discrimination and hardships that come with being cis- their transids, so the person feeling like they should've undergone medical abuse isn't unlikely - I just think jealousy is the wrong word to use if you want to communicate your experience with little offence and misunderstandings.

[ask-a-radqueer]

I despise the notion that it makes you "less radqueer" to not accept everything. Just because you do not support one thing does not mean you are less radqueer than someone who does. Radqueer is not a static thought process. It is understandable if certain things bother you, it is understandable if you cannot will yourself to support a group of people. You and your identity are both still valid. Anyone who is unsympathetic to your ideas is, objectively, an asshole. Regardless of if "radqueer" means "radically accepting" or not. It is a label, it is a construct, and you are fully allowed to have your own thoughts outside of it. Speak your mind, Radqueers!

[ask-a-radqueer]

No, sorry, I don't "owe an apology" to people who have dysphoria over not being a nazi

Follow-up from this post

Transharm terms were not being coined until very late 2022 (when transcriminal and transmurderer came about). Transn*zi didn't come about until early 2023. Transharmful and transhateful terms were not what the MOGAI community was attacking and invalidating at the peak of transid discourse.

This is exactly the sort of erasure I'm talking about when I say this. I'm sick of people acting like the MOGAI community's only problems with these identities was the radqueer community, or transharm, or whatever else. It wasn't. The community attacked and spread misinformation about all transids, all radqueers, all big-3 paraphiles, sometimes even all paraphiles and all pro-para folks.

The MOGAI community owes an apology to the people it supports now, but who had to go through all of that infighting and fakeclaiming and invalidation in order for it to come to that conclusion years down the line, and proceed as if nothing happened. It's hypocrisy. It should not be surprising that some people still feel unsafe in the MOGAI space because of this.

Plus, if you're not a member of the MOGAI community who has grown to be accepting of divergent/atypical dysphoria or paraphilias, my post was explicitly not aimed at you.

[ask-a-radqueer]

^^^

I might make a bigger post on my personal experiences being pushed from the MOGAI community - I actually had a pretty big and recognisable account in 2020/21

But I experienced a lot of the same things, where showing any sort of support or even nuance towards transids was treated like a betrayal to the MOGAI community and I was harassed, mass-reported, banned from spaces, so on.

I know of so many people who were beloved MOGAI creators, but got terminated or shamed for just relating to the transid experience or having a paraphilia. It feels like the community has just sort of moved on as if it never happened.

A message to the MOGAI community on 'atypical' dysphoria and para acceptance:

If you were there in 2021 and 2022 saying that people using transids are liars and attention seekers, that people can't have dysphoria about disability or race, that being pro-para means encouraging abuse, that radqueers are wrong for supporting these experiences, and you've changed since then - that's great. You were wrong about transids. You were wrong about paraphilias. You were wrong about radqueers. That's okay to admit.

I'm tired of people acting like the MOGAI community has always been an accepting space for people to be openly transid, a paraphile, or someone with divergent dysphoria, and being surprised when people say they feel safer identifying this way in the radqueer community.

The MOGAI community hasn't always been accepting of these experiences. It still isn't guaranteed to be. It's good that you changed, but let's not act like you were always in the right on this topic.

It's obvious when you're trying to to erase this fact in order to act like radqueers have brought nothing good to the MOGAI space. We can see when you're doing it. Even today, even if you don't like us, you cannot erase history. Your problem with us wasn't always the community; it was also that we supported those with divergent dysphoria, transid users, and paraphilies.

You owe these people an apology for how unsafe they were made to feel, and may still feel, in the MOGAI space. That is how you go about repairing the damage.

Keep making your community more inclusive and accepting, but in the meantime, remember that you don't have to be pro-radqueer to acknowledge that we stood up for identities and experiences you once refused to have any respect for.

[ask-a-radqueer]

A message to the MOGAI community on 'atypical' dysphoria and para acceptance:

If you were there in 2021 and 2022 saying that people using transids are liars and attention seekers, that people can't have dysphoria about disability or race, that being pro-para means encouraging abuse, that radqueers are wrong for supporting these experiences, and you've changed since then - that's great. You were wrong about transids. You were wrong about paraphilias. You were wrong about radqueers. That's okay to admit.

I'm tired of people acting like the MOGAI community has always been an accepting space for people to be openly transid, a paraphile, or someone with divergent dysphoria, and being surprised when people say they feel safer identifying this way in the radqueer community.

The MOGAI community hasn't always been accepting of these experiences. It still isn't guaranteed to be. It's good that you changed, but let's not act like you were always in the right on this topic.

It's obvious when you're trying to to erase this fact in order to act like radqueers have brought nothing good to the MOGAI space. We can see when you're doing it. Even today, even if you don't like us, you cannot erase history. Your problem with us wasn't always the community; it was also that we supported those with divergent dysphoria, transid users, and paraphilies.

You owe these people an apology for how unsafe they were made to feel, and may still feel, in the MOGAI space. That is how you go about repairing the damage.

Keep making your community more inclusive and accepting, but in the meantime, remember that you don't have to be pro-radqueer to acknowledge that we stood up for identities and experiences you once refused to have any respect for.

[ask-a-radqueer]

It really is a new low to threaten radqueers with death via Trump in the current political climate

What interesting words.. I think I heard them before.. just a little differently but the same meaning..

[ask-a-radqueer]

this is the first time I've seen a radqueer who's so like...self aware? I guess? of the community's problems

following on from your intersex post are there any other things you have an issue with in the community? and why don't you think other radqueers talk about these problems?

Follow-up from this post!

I'm glad to be able to bring a fresh perspective :)

I find that I don't tend to fit the 'vibe' the radqueer community has made for itself at all, but that gives me even more reason to openly identify with the label and break down those stereotypes. I have lots of problems with it, but I have lots of problems with the LGBT community, the MOGAI community, the Arab community, all my communities. I think everyone can relate to there being unaddressed (or improperly addressed) issues in their communities.

Lots of what I said about intersex talk in the transid community applies to all of my other ones too, it's just especially less talked about here because there's even less people to talk about it. All I really did for my post was make it more specific for the ways intersex gets brought up in a transid context.

I'd actually say one of my biggest issues with the radqueer space is the lack of radqueers talking about their issues with the radqueer space, ironically enough.

There's also just this energy of don't start discourse, like there is in lots of other queer spaces too. Tumblr is an exception to this almost because you can sort of do whatever, but it's definitely a rule in lots of Discord servers.

Discourse often turns to arguing because people don't get the difference between a discussion and an argument, and that also means so many people on radqueer Tumblr still won't speak out. This already-small community gets even smaller for you if you 'exclude' people (even if by excluding those people, you're making your space safer) and it's isolating enough as it is. Attempts to raise concerns may just be met with arguing and people assuming you hate them and so on.

I still believe that the most argument-causing thing you can do in relation to radqueers right now is say you have positive (or maybe even just nuanced) views on them whilst being active in the MOGAI community, not raise an issue you have with radqueer whilst being radqueer, but I digress.

In conclusion, and summary, people should talk with nuance about their own communities and how they can make them safer, better spaces more often.

Are you a radqueer with an answer to this question? Feel free to answer it with a reblog or comment, or submit a post to my blog!v

[ask-a-radqueer]

Things the Transid Community Needs to Understand About Intersex!

A little PSA by a transid cisintersex person about how intersex people are talked about in the community and how we can make it better for cisintersex and transintersex people alike!

Intersex refers to people born with sex characteristics that don't fit the typical 'male' or 'female' sexes, also called wolffian and mullerian

Transintersex refers to those who feel they should be intersex, identify as intersex whilst not having intersex traits, or otherwise identify as intersex in a transid way

If you are transintersex, this means that you feel as if you should have an intersex variation (or several) and/or identify as having one in a trans way

Transintersex is not the word to use if you feel as if you should:

Be bigenital and having both fully-functioning, perinormative, genitalia. This is a fictionalised concept, not an intersex variation! Ambiguous genitalia exists and people can have both sets, but it does not present in the perinormative way you see in NSFW fiction - Alternatives: transbigenital, salmacian

Have any other fictional sex traits or sex trait combinations. This includes the fictional sex characteristics you see in omegaverse and similar NSFW content - these are not intersex variations - Alternatives: transids specific to these fictional sex traits

Have things like an androgynous facial structure, a beard whilst AFAB, and other independent traits that aren't inherently caused by being intersex. This doesn't apply if you feel like you should have an intersex variation on top of these things - Alternatives: transids specific to these traits

I recommend really looking into what makes you feel connected to the intersex identity / experience and see if you're maybe reducing intersex down to a certain trait, or if you actually feel as if you should have an intersex variation

It is still insensitive to say "I'm jealous of (cis)intersex people" even if you are transintersex. We are not a monolith - all of us have different experiences and intersex variations, and many of us have had our bodily autonomy stripped away, gone years not knowing who we truly are, faced deep oppression and dis/misinformation, and so on

Addon for para communities especially: Bigenital fictional characteres are not intersex! NSFW content featuring bigenital characters is not intersex NSFW content! Do not tag it as intersex! Also, the Japanese word for these characters is an intersexist slur just like the H slur! End of post yay

[ask-a-radqueer]

This might feel like I’m vaguing someone. So feel free to ignore this ask if you want.

But what are your thoughts on someone identifying with a more “out-there” transid (think transharmed or transharmful, one of the terms that took a while to gain acceptance) while speaking negatively about transids like trace and transage (more “established” transids). I know you’ve spoken about how more acceptance is never a bad thing. But… it feels a bit like a betrayal.

We were some of the transid community’s founding members. We built up the landscape of personal identity into a world where transharmed and transharmful would be able to exist. Shutting us out… it feels like you just view transharmed/transharmful as “sadomasochism but extra”. And you’re not actually going to respect the communities they come from.

I don't know who you could be referring to here so please don't assume I'm talking about anyone in particular, I don't know what's going on there!

What are your thoughts on someone identifying with some transids whilst speaking negatively about more established ones?

I see this more than I like, though never from the transharm community that's a new one for me. I usually see this from people who might identify as non-transabled/non-trace transids and then talk a lot of hate about those two.

As said previously, I do overall think that acceptance for transid experiences in any capacity is good, but I don't like to see negative talk towards these identity labels as it is so often rooted in misunderstanging. The whole 'these transids are good and those are bad' seems to stigmatise the 'bad' ones even further than they already are. We stop viewing them as real people's identities attached to real people's experiences then.

The fact that you're specifying someone who identifies as transharm speaking against trace/transage makes it a bit more sad to see because transharm receives similar assumptions/misinfo. People view each transid and its ethics so differently and tend to get caught up on transitioning ethics, so I expect some people to have a big difference of opinion on them if they decide to dislike them based on transitioning ethics or the fact that the transid covers a sensitive or taboo experience. Transharm labels get this same treatment, however, so it'd certainly be unexpected to see.

As someone who's pro-transid, I view all transids as equals in terms of how real the experiences are and how they don't have any inherent transitioning methods or ideologies attached. I wish that more people saw things like that and it really can feel a bit like a betrayal when a transid (especially more problematic transid) person talks bad about trace/transabled/transage people, considering we paved the way for the recognition of their identity, but I don't think they're obligated to support us either.

I do have transids that I think would be better off less specific or worded in a more sensitive way, but that doesn't make me talk negatively about them as identities or about the experiences attached. I wish that people who are critical acted more critical and less outright hateful because that usually results in assumptions and misinformation being spread.

----

a more simplified summary of this response:

It's sad to see this sort of thing. I think acceptance for transids is good and I don't think anyone has to to support all transids, even if they use transids themselves, but talking bad around trace/transabled/transage especially often seems to go hand-in-hand with misinfo, making assumptions about transitioning, and making these experiences seem taboo or sensitive.

It's unexpected for a transharm person to be spreading this sort of thing because transharm labels get it so so often, and it can feel a bit like a betrayal because of what we've done for creating and pathing the way for transharm labels to exist, but that shouldn't mean they're forced to support us.

I wish that people who are critical acted more critical and less outright hateful because that usually results in assumptions and misinformation being spread.

Are you a radqueer with an answer to this question? Feel free to answer it with a reblog or comment, or submit a post to my blog!v

[ask-a-radqueer]

Is it ok to use transIDs for myself without actively engaging in the radqueer community?

Absolutely! That's it, end of answer!

I'm kidding I never shut up

TransIDs existed far before the radqueer community, we just popularised and coined a lot of them. Just like I can use any term I like without supporting the coiner or engaging with any associated communities, so can you! They don't come with an in-built ideology

I actively encourage it actually because I think people who relate to transids should be able to use them without fear of being assumed to be radqueer or pro-this and pro-that

[ask-a-radqueer]

I hugely prefer this actually! It's a great alternative word

for those who don’t like the term atypical dysphoria I propose a new radqueer friendly term: Divergent Dysphoria!

here is the divergent dysphoria flag!

[ask-a-radqueer]

Another question about radqueer flags:

What responsibility do coiners have to design a flag respectfully and with the message it sends in mind?

Example: I was looking through transid flags today, just for fun. And I came across a flag for “transchildpornstar”. Now, I can start by picking apart that name. But I’m not going to. I’m focusing on the flag. It’s… very visually bright. Not too bright. But pleasantly bright. Nothing about its symbols or design suggests it represents something terrible. And… the alt flag is even worse. Pastels. Which might be worse. Both flags have hearts on them. Which is… certainly a design choice.

Vexillology is my special interest. I can yap about flag design for ages. I’m obsessed with flags and the symbolism behind them. Because, at the end of the day, a flag isn’t just a rectangle. It stands for something. And you should be mindful of how you’re representing that thing. And the radqueer community… makes flags centered around some very dark themes. Purely by the nature of the terms coined within it.

I’m not saying these terms shouldn’t exist. Or that flags representing them shouldn’t be made. I connect with a lot of “darker” transids. I also understand that a lot of flags for trans(thing)s are made by someone who was cis(thing). And in the case of darker labels, some people might be coping by romanticizing their trauma. I understand that. And won’t deny them that coping mechanism. But you’re not just making a flag for yourself. You’re making a flag for a community, a flag that represents that community to the world.

What I get from the flags I used as an example is that CSEM is not that serious and/or not inherently negative. Which is not the message I think should be sent. Obviously. I don’t know if this was willful malice or just a misunderstanding of vexillology and symbolism. But I want to know your opinion on obligation. Obligation to do a flag right.

What responsibility do coiners have to design a flag respectfully and with the message it sends in mind?

Like MOGAI, we're not a vexillology-first community and most of our flag makers aren't particularly interested in flag-making as a professional artform, they just like putting colours and patterns and symbols together.

I do think that this community has a problem with using certain motifs insensitively in transid flags. A big part of that probably comes from how we're often viewing these things from the perspective of someone who identifies with but hasn't fully experienced them. I think that can make the way they're constructing the flag a lot less based around the dark realities of it. Whilst the reality may be dark, that reality is also in some sense desirable or euphoric or otherwise fitting to the coiner if they identify with it. Sometimes there's also that self-romantisisiation or self-sexualisation/fetishisation aspect too.

I feel like we'd have the opposite problem if that flag was super dark and scary to look at or evoked some sense of dread, though. Some people may find that validates how they feel about their identity even more, others may find it uncomfortable especially if they're using it to reclaim their trauma in some way. But others using it for the same reason might find a flag with hearts on it to be disturbing.

With darker MOGAI flags, I'm especially thinking about xenogenders related to dark things like this, I find there's less use of symbols which is probably for the best. I'm not sure where our love for symbols comes from it might just be force of habit since our community's always had some 'big' flags with lost of assets.

---

Overall, I don't think there's an obligation for coiners to make a fitting flag and the community doesn't enforce any such thing (I also don't think the MOGAI space enforces or discusses this idea much more really). I think people have the right to express themselves creatively in any form, and I don't think there's an invalid way to feel that your identity is best represented - that's why alternative flags exist.

I personally think that when it comes to sensitive things, we should be mindful in some ways, especially if we don't have experience with that thing, and even more so if we don't identify with it. I'm also aware though that this conversation has never really been had in the community, so I like that I've gotten to have a think about this and talk about it!

the 2 paragraphs above also work as a summary ^^

Are you a radqueer with an answer to this question? Feel free to answer it with a reblog or comment, or submit a post to my blog!v

[ask-a-radqueer]

Hi! so this is a question about the radqueer community, as someone who's only ever seen it described from outside sources as a terrible cult (where honestly, with the sources provided, I can't really disagree) where everyone in the community agrees with that. But i can't help feel that's maybe? The more extreme harmful parts? Or that maybe there's more nuance to this than "every single radqueer is a cultist"

so I guess my question is how divided IS the community? I know everything like this will have it's extremes both ways and discourse will probably always be present, but would you say there's general collective opinions that are shared? Or is it entirely divided. Not how Bad are the Bads, but how many rqs actually follow these things?? yk? I don't want to end up hating an entire group because there was fucked up people in there, and people saw the whole community through a tainted view

Is radqueer a cult?

The thing about this claim is it's perfect for making people stop believing people in the community when they have productive things to say, and for that it's a malicious claim even if some people are coming from a somewhat earnest place. I know people have had negative experiences, but a lot of the points made by these people can be applied to any space with a shared ideology of sorts - there will always be people who over-enforce it.

Extra reading on this point from @theproblematicnerd: here - he debunks this post on radqueer being a cult quite well

I also know that not many people genuinely hold this belief because they don't view us as victims, they view us all as the collective organisers of this supposed 'cult' and the only people they view as victims are people who aren't radqueer anymore.

If they genuinely thought we'd been indoctrinated, more their posts would be comforting us and making us feel safe to leave. Instead, they're convincing us even more that we wouldn't be accepted for the most part outside the radqueer space.

How divided is the radqueer community? How many radqueers actually hold harmful views?

It's definitely hard to say, especially because what people consider to be harmful views varies. From my experience, the community is majority contact complex, anti-abuse (not including anything consensual), pro-consent, and of course pro-transid and pro-para. Tumblr is never a good place to show the community because it's not vetted - Discord server rules and environments work a bit better to guage common ideologies.

(be aware however that the top Disboard server in the radqueer tag has only recently turned itself into pro-violence propaganda and used to be a general anarchism server, hence the insane member count. I've heard it's not very active)

There's definitely division on contact, there's a lot of variety in contact stance and more specific views on contact - this is carried over from the para community. There's some division in areas of abuse/consent because there's a small subsect of pro-abuse, consent-neutral/anti-consent people here. Our community was born on being pro-transid (or at least the existing transids at the time) and pro-para and not much else, some fit the more in-depth first definition, but not many reference it.

I do want to say that just because other communities haven't got established words for people who are pro-abuse doesn't mean those people aren't in those spaces. I actually quite appreciate that some people will just outright use a label that says they're pro-abuse in this space, great for blocking. I don't like that we've ended up here but I'm not handing my community over to that sect and neither are more of us.

I just keep uptalking my friend's work here haha, but his section on community fragmentation is ideal for this: here

----

a more simplified summary of this response:

Radqueer is not a cult, but that claim is supposed to make you not believe me. People have had bad experiences, but lots of the traits they list about us apply to lots of communities with a shared ideology and there's always people who over-do it. If people actually saw us as victims of indoctrination, they'd design their posts to help us feel safe leaving. Instead, they see us all as cult organisers because it villainises and generalises us

The most common beliefs here from my experience are complex contact, anti-abuse, pro-consent, and of course pro-para and pro-transid. Just because other communities don't have established words for being pro-abuse doesn't mean there aren't pro-abuse or abusive people in them. There's a lot of differences in opinion here because what originally united us was support for paras and the existing transidentities at the time, not really anything deeper than that

Are you a radqueer with an answer to this question? Feel free to answer it with a reblog or comment, or submit a post to my blog!v

[ask-a-radqueer]

hey btw i did your survey and lowkey it helped me understand trace people a bit. I’m rroma but didnt grow up in the culture and i really feel like I want to be more connected. They way you described the trisracial identity resonated with me a lot. I’m still rq-complex or critical but I do understand a but better now.

Ty for this page.

Thanks so much! We really wanted to make sure we included a variety of trace experiences without making the survey too long, and hopefully we managed that quite well

I think so many trace related surveys and explanations don’t humanise the concept, it’s just sort of “what do you think of trace as a term?” “Is it okay for trace people to do this?”, when it just goes to show that context matters

I’m excited to do more surveys where we’re able to give the people behind these terms a bit more context and personhood before their hypothetical actions are judged

The survey is still open if you haven't taken it! Here it is

[ask-a-radqueer]

Trace (Transrace) Transitioning Morality Survey

Me and @ask-a-radqueer came together to make this thing!

Who can take it? anyone

What is it about? what your moral views are on certain attempts to transition into another racial identity

What will happen with the data? it's public to view and the results link is here. Either of us may also make posts about the data and things we find interesting about it!

Tagged for reach!

[ask-a-radqueer]

sorry if you cant answer this or we're breaking boundaries. but we're kind of losing it right now and are struggling with identity and stances again (heres some small context before we begin : we're a diagnosed DID system with amnesia between ourselves, so of course we have divided opinions. however we're collectively pro endogenic but our stances on radqueers and transids has been divided. some of us are still heavily anti rq and anti transid while some others of ourselves are experimenting with transids. yes this is all important for this text below)

alright. we already questioned before our stances, which lead to us breaking away from being completely anti rq and anti transid. but as of now we keep researching and learning about the radqueer community to get both sides of the story and its just so complicated because we're so used to being anti radqueer- "they groom minors into thinking this is okay" and "they dont support consent" and "they are ableist towards those who actually experience it" and more of that kind of thing are just things that have been engraved in stone into us.

but every now and then we kind of just look at the radqueer community and go "what if we're wrong? what if theyre actually nice and we're wrong?" and then the response thats been engraved into us is like "no, thats what theyd want you to think, theyre grooming you" or shit like that and its so frustrating we're clawing at ourselves just to get a good stand point. we're so frustrated.

we spend more time researching and actively even stalking more than we'd like to admit. although we mightve become a bit less up tight about transids we've just always known radqueers as the "evil people that want to normalize child exploitation and harm, theyre a cult". i think what we're looking for is a TRULY NEUTRAL standpoint in all of this so we can know what being radqueer is. but we can also ask you about this too, a radqueer, so you could give your side of the story; we're so afraid of making the wrong choice. stay anti-radqueer and beings like you hate us forever. the "anti-queers". or we potentially become radqueer after learning something that could change our mind collectively and we become the very thing we swore to destroy; as well as those in our community or people we used to associate with will hate us forever too. it'll be something we can never tell anyone.

is being radqueer good? will we be seen as the bodily minor groomers every other anti-radqueer sees you as? are we misunderstanding radqueers by a million miles? we've done all the self research we can. we stalk the radqueer tag every day. we absorb and learn more and more, trying to understand where we should stand on this. we hate how much we feel hatred towards radqueers, why are we so interested and obsessed with what we've been doing? at this point we just need direct advice. or standpoints. we've already been on the anti-rq side, and we've researched the rq side as much as we could and we havent gone anywhere. maybe we internally programmed ourselves to be anti-radqueer and its harming us more than doing good. so sorry this is so long but a response would be so helpful. /gen thank you.

This question is hard to summarise so I'll just be sectioning out my answer and referencing parts of your message for the titles!

"I think what we're looking for is a TRULY NEUTRAL standpoint in all of this so we can know what being radqueer is"

One of the most valuable reads for this might just be this Notion page by the lovely @theproblematicnerd aka @nonconformityhub. It's extremely lengthy and not even finished yet, but it's nicely sectioned out so you can find the info you want.

It's a pretty neutral commentary on the state of the radqueer community and all of its aspects and history as observed by someone who's got an autistic special interest in this area. Alex isn't radqueer himself, but is pro-atypical dysphoria and pro-para. I highly recommend it and I'll link more specific parts of it here if needed!

It's also just a fun read, he's funny, eg. "There may come a time where this entire page being named ‘radqueer’ goes redundant (darn it)", "They even got autism, whatever will we do?!", and "I don’t plan on establishing my view on any of it here, that’s boring, I just want to infodump in your face about it. That’s what you came here for after all, right?"

----

"is being radqueer good? will we be seen as the bodily minor groomers every other anti-radqueer sees you as? are we misunderstanding radqueers by a million miles?"

Depending on the crowd, you may very well be seen that way, and I know plenty of people who don't use the word radqueer for those reasons. For me in particular, I feel strongly about identifying this way for the purposes of proving that this isn't what radqueer is about

I think Alex's segment on community fragmentation summarises my response to the dark parts of this community quite well:

"what on earth are you supposed to do when the label and culture of your community, which you didn’t create, makes it so that your community can be used as a safe space for those with dangerous views? For some, it’s drop the label entirely or specify being a ‘non-community’ radqueer, but others would see that as ‘handing radqueer over’ to a group of people that may support exactly what anti-rqs have been trying to argue that radqueers support. It would create a self-fulfilling prophecy: anti-radqueers say that radqueers support abuse, radqueers that don't support abuse leave the community, radqueers now support abuse, anti-radqueers now have to deal with what they mistakenly thought they already had - a community of abuse supporters."

It's always important to remember that this community was founded on the lack of support for transids and paraphilias and similar identities, and it existed to create support for them. The community has changed a lot now and there are a lot more non-radqueers who support these things, but I'll always be proud to know that I was radqueer when everyone else thought the worst thing about us was that we supported people.