ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

Foamy + PSG = best friendship?

More like best friends-with-benefits-ship.  We knew each other pre-sburb bullshit. Met fighting over some asshole in a strip club. Gal knows how to use her fists.

Ya gotta respect that. I did.

Anyone with a good left hook and a great sense of humor's fine in my book. Nice to see her okay and not blown to smithereens.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

/You whistle long and slow at watching Panty strip and cleave through two enemies simultaniously./

Hot fuckin' damn, I'll say you still do! You've been workin' out, haven't you?

/You duck under a swing an imp attempted to get on your from behind. Good thing you have sensitive ears and the paranoia of... well, a squirrel. You whip around, slicing through the imp's head with the metal edge of your crop, before groaning and captchaloging it./

Ya know, what? Fuck it, I'm getting out the big guns. Can't be shown up by even you, babe.

/With a smirk, you uncpatchalog a much longer weapon; a real whip, but with spiky thorns on it and dozens of small, black nubs. A flick of the wrist and your whip has found its way around an unsuspecting imp, and another expert flick causes the spikes to suddenly shoot out, impaling the creature immediately and reducing it to grist./

That's how you do it!

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

And at least this place has some color. It's either Land of Cum and Nuts or Tar and Thorns. And let me tell you, babe, all that blackness is really fucking tiring after awhile. I think I'll take you up on the home offer, actually. until the freak who broke into my house lets out some steam.

Honestly, he can steal whatever the fuck he wants, I got all the captchalogue card numbers in a binder in my sylladex for whatever important shit I had. Social Security and credit card numbers be damned in Sburb.

/You grin, glancing around and finding your first target; an amalgamation of a dead rabbit, Chuck, and the freak who used to stalk you on Earth./

Oh shit, dibs on that guy!

/You run off towards him, yelling angrilly and whirl about, beating the man-imp thing upside the head, on the back of the neck, and finally swinging the metal-plated crop sideways through the guy's head, cutting into his skull and causing him to disappear in a poof of smoke and drop some pretty crystals on the ground; grist./

Alright..! That felt good.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

Fuckin' hell, you know I'd love that. But I've given myself this little challenge. Asshole went hiding under an anon mask and hid his quirk an' has been trying to talk to me for awhlie now.

So I'm taking special, considerate care to ignore the fuck out of him in any and all given situations. He even got into my house, I said fuck it, and badda boom badda bing I've been home-jumping since.

./You grin, glancing around and already a little more twitchy in the ears and tail than normal. You're ready to beat the shit out of the first imp that comes by./

I went to my old buddy Nny's place. It's alright. Gothic mansion, lots of rooms, only problem is there's this little fuckin nine-year-old in a pink sweater running around so I have to 'censor myself' around the little fuck.

Imagine that, a guy called Johnny the Fucking Homicidal Maniac telling ANYONE to censor themselves for a fucking kid. Ain't like they aren't gonna hear it elsewhere.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

/Unaware of the terrorist act laid upon your home, you continue your journey outside and quickly find a tall tree to expertly scale. You reach the top in seconds, hiding in the crown of leaves, before jumping up through the top into a portal to another land.

This guy can do whatever the fuck he wants to your disgusting house. Your room on the Land of Tar and Thorns or sharing a house with your friend with benefit's on the Land of Ghosts and Lingerie were more entertaining to you. And rewarding, being around people you enjoy who won't blow up your house in an envious rage since they can't get your attention.

A rough, dry chuckle leaves your throat when you hear a loud thunderclap as you leave your land.

Flash flood season.

Vaguely you wonder how a troll could handle a rainstorm of thick, salty, goopy jiz,one of which starts just as you leave. Good timing../

TF: LisTen, I'm noT going To Take no for an answer on This, so me and you are going To Talk Foamy. We WILL Talk nice and peacefully, Ok?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

/Though, it's hard to really make you uncomfortable. You're, as usual, more annoyed than angry at a home intruder. Not that you haven't had your fair share of them; stalkers, weirdos, anyone who doesn't like fandoms or furries. Not that hard to make enemies, especially with how blunt you are.

Scattered around your rather dark and horribly lit home, there are dressers, empty beer cans and bottles, and even dirty laundry stained with crusted jizz that you haven't bothered to wash off yet. You'll get to it at the end of the week. Sunday's cleaning day.

When you hear the creaks, you take the moment to calmly get up, put your magazine down, and simply walk out the front door. Nothing much for  him to do in your already ripped apart and nasty house, save for steal the small fortune of sex toys in your room. But you've already capchalogued all of them at least once and know the codes to punch into an alchemeter.

Once your house started caving in from cum, you decided to make a book of notes with all the codes of your favorite things in case they need to be re-made. You keep the catalog in your sylladex at all times to keep it safe and sound.

Outside, you shrug and walk off, jizz squelching under your foot as you've long ago given up caring about your cute, furry boots. You might as well go check on your friends, maybe they're up to something interesting./

TF: LisTen, I'm noT going To Take no for an answer on This, so me and you are going To Talk Foamy. We WILL Talk nice and peacefully, Ok?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

/You turn the page in your magazine, lazily flipping pages. You've been in Sburb for far too long for anything of these to be up to date, or even relevant with how destroyed Earth must be by now. In the back of your mind, you vaguely wonder what the noise on your wall is, but for now you're putting your top-notch ignoring skills to the test.

In the distance, masses of flesh and tentacles dressed up in corsets and fishnets wander, creating horrifying shapes on the horizon. They're rather harmless, really; by now you find them a nusiance more than anything with their 'quest' bullshit. Luckily none approach the house right now./

TF: LisTen, I'm noT going To Take no for an answer on This, so me and you are going To Talk Foamy. We WILL Talk nice and peacefully, Ok?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

You bet your fuckin' ass we can kick some ass!

I need to let off some steam, 'specially after having to deal with another stalker. You'd think I'd be safe moving into Sburb with less people, but nooo-ooo, some weirdo hiding behind an anon mask won't leave me be.

/You uncaptchalogue your weapon of choice, a very familiar riding crop, but with flexible thin steel plating now on the end to beat the shit out of anything you find less than appealing. It's half a moment before you uncaptchalogue a second one and wield twin weapons, one in each hand./

'Sides, I need some more grist anyway for my alchemeter. Haven't been out on a good fight for weeks. 

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

You sigh and go to sit on your couch, pulling out a magazine by an end table and flipping through it while ignoring the nut at your door. He can dig around all he wants around your front door; by the nature of your planet, everything is covered in jizz with acorns floating in it.

That certainly won't stain at all on his fancy clothes.

Your windows have long been boarded shut to stop the hooker horrorterrors that your consorts are from getting in, and even though the roof is collapsed in your kitchen, you've boarded up that door as well to stop floods of spooge from entering your house, too.

It helps you feel safer.

TF: LisTen, I'm noT going To Take no for an answer on This, so me and you are going To Talk Foamy. We WILL Talk nice and peacefully, Ok?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

TF: LisTen, I'm noT going To Take no for an answer on This, so me and you are going To Talk Foamy. We WILL Talk nice and peacefully, Ok?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

Yeah, it's fuckin' malarkey is what it is. Cum always seems to shoot out at me when I don't fucking want it to. Just my life.

But I think I'll be a little more consolable about it now that I know you're okay. You, and that guy with the leather jacket I told you about a few years ago. The pale kid with the shitty hairstyle.

Found out at least one other friend's alright. It looks like things are finally starting to look up for this squirrel here.

'Specially now that I have a good sparring partner again. You feel like wreckin' some shit again? Each others, some imps, or a little of both?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

As well as a lady can be on the Land of Cum and Nuts. Actually just the other day my fucking roof caved in because an overpour of spooge-rain. Trust me, babe, you don't know the meaning of shit-hole unless you've seen a fucking hooker eldrich horror strip-dancing in cum-rain. Fucking delicious.

Other than that, I've kicked more imp ass than any other squirrel-fandom hybrid this side of Sburb. Just as I would think you're doing?

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

Holy tit-fuckin' whore...

Panty! Babe! Izzat you? Holy fuck, how long has it been? I ain't surprised you've made it here, I guess I should've just been wonderin' where the fuck you'd show up!

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom] Where the fuck am I now? Jesus H. Jimeny Christ, the one time I find a portal to somewhere I've never seen it's the second creepiest fuck of a place I've ever seen.

P&S: Well shit, pardon me. If I had known some furry fucker was going to stroll in, I would told the ghosts to fold the panties. My fucking bad.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

So how are thing going?

As well as they can when my roof's fallen in for the sixth time from an overload of jizz-rain.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

WHER U GO R U DED???? PLSZ DON'T BE DED.

Jesus fuckin' Christ, I leave for a few weeks and anons think I'm toast.

Don't worry, kid. I'm still here.

[ask-foamy-the-squirrel-fandom]

Did you have a very merry Thanksgiving this year miss squirrel? Was the food nice? Did you rant everyone's ear off at the dinner table?

If by everyone, you mean me, myself, and the fucking poledancing eldrich horrors, then yes. I ranted everyone's ears off. And it was alright. Not too fond of meat, surprisingly enough for a fucking squirrel-person.

Did have some great nuts though. Alchemized some great walnuts and macadamias.

...

Didn't... Uh... Didn't realize how quiet a table can be when I'm the only one talking.