aspec-man-thing

[aspec-man-thing]

Obviously I'm all for gay rights and stuff but as an aroace person I really wish we would stop acting like certain things are automatically romantic. One example I can think of is with Patroclus and Achilles, people often say that Achilles wouldn't have been so incensed with rage and killed so many Trojans after Patroclus' death if they weren't lovers. And I'm not saying they weren't, but can we not pretend that there aren't people who would do that for their friends? Because there absolutely are. I'm so fucking tired of people who claim that romantic love is inherently stronger or deeper than platonic love because it's NOT.

[aspec-man-thing]

I'm forever "alone" and I'm happy about that

[aspec-man-thing]

Like: this is the first time I've felt this in my 25 years! I feel fluffy and silly, and I just want him to be happy and laughing all the time. I want to hear about all his interests and know everything about her!!

He's so cute and funny, and I'm so scared of making her uncomfortable...

I think I might be actually some type of grayromantic... I think I'm falling in love with a friend of mine. I don't know what to do with that...

[aspec-man-thing]

I think I might be actually some type of grayromantic... I think I'm falling in love with a friend of mine. I don't know what to do with that...

[aspec-man-thing]

If you're one of those who are constantly saying I'm sorry I'm sorry, you definitely ARE annoying as hell

I'm sorry, but that's not how decent people work. I'm not bothered, so it's reasonable to think other people won't be unless they're not good for my trauma.

Stop sending this ask, you're not helping anyone!

[aspec-man-thing]

I recently joined an aro Discord server, trying to find community, and try to make significant bonds with other aros. But it's been triggering a lot of thought spirals. Types I thought I was done with...

Everyone's being nice! But my brain's insisting that they're lying to me, and that I'm actually bothering them...

I'm going to talk to my therapist about it next week. There is a chance I'll leave that server tho... I think I feel too safe and I'm just not used to it so my brain is acting like there's something wrong. That's it has to be me that's wrong...

Idk, I just wanted to share with someone...

[aspec-man-thing]

BREAKING NEWS: "progressive" and "sex positive" individual who claims the asexual community is full of homophobes upholding purity culture becomes the world's most pearl clutching prude the moment they're subjected to the idea of an aromantic person not being asexual

[aspec-man-thing]

know abt stereotype "aspec = emotionless / cold"

know it's harmful. recognize it's harmful. stereotypes are harmful. generalizations are harmful. saying any group shares any trait without exceptions is harmful. because everyone is different and individual.

but like. at the same time. wanna mention that being emotionless is ok. being emotionless is morally neutral. being emotionless doesn't equal being evil.

some aspecs aren't emotionless. they shouldn't be assumed emotionless because aspecs. they shouldn't be fakeclaimed if are emotional. they shouldn't be hated because seen as emotionless.

and some aspecs actually are emotionless. they shouldn't be called bad representation. they shouldn't be hated because are emotionless too. they shouldn't be erased because stereotypes. emotionless aspecs aren't the ones who promote amisia. amisics promote amisia and use ableism towards emotionless people to promote amisia.

emotional aspecs are aspecs. emotional aspecs are valid as fuck. emotional aspecs deserve visibility. emotional aspecs deserve respects.

emotionless aspecs are aspecs. emotionless aspecs are valid as fuck. emotionless aspecs deserve visibility. emotionless aspecs deserve respect.

no actual aspecs are "stereotypes." no actual aspecs are "bad representation." every actual aspec is important. every actual aspec have their place in community and make community better because they're here.

[aspec-man-thing]

Gender and orientation are such a complex topic, yet some individuals are acting like they know it like the back of their hand! When I don't even know, I can't even figure out my sexuality. I've been trying to figure it out for 6 years!

You can't change anyone's minds by policing who can be themselves, so why do it? Why assume the worst in someone's identity?

[aspec-man-thing]

I'm going to try to spend the rest of the day writing, but real quick!

If you're not a purely Gender-Conforming Straight Anthro/Solid/Mono/Binary/Cis/Het/Allo/Dyas, you're queer!!

And I mean this in an all-incompassing way.

Gender-Conforming: an individual whose pronouns and self-expression is considered typical for their gender.

Straight: an attraction that is not queer attraction or in between. Opposite of queer attraction.

Anthro: within human understanding of the subject. Opposite of Xeno.

Solid: Orientation and gender being unchanging. Opposite of fluid.

Mono: Orientation and gender identity being single. Opposite of multi.

Binary: Existing perfectly in the binary system. Opposite of non-binary.

Cis: Someone who's cisgender and cissex. Identity matching their assigned sex at birth.

Het: Someone who is hetero for all oriented attractions.

Allo: Someone who is not aspec.

Dyas: Another word for perisex. Opposite of intersex.

If you don't fit in one of these, you're queer unless you don't want to describe yourself that way.

[aspec-man-thing]

I'm the kind of aplatonic who doesn't know if they feel platonic attraction. it could be platonic, it could be familiar, it could be both! it could be some other type of emotional attraction don't know of.

What I do know is I only seek out "friends" when I'm lonely and I don't miss anyone.

And if someone proves to be bad for me, it's easy for me to let them go. Because I don't have that bond.

Therapist says I need to make friends, but I don't care to.

This could be all neurodivergency and past trauma. I could be aplatonic. I don't care either way.

Sorry, I just have to rant about something for a bit.

I was watching a video that was like a compilation of smaller videos about neurodivergence. And one of the videos said that one of the greatest tragedies of neurodivergence is the inability to make and keep close friendships. Not “struggling to get a job so you can feed yourself”. Not “having behaviors that make you fear getting police called on you”. The inability to make and keep close friendships. And then they said how horrible this is, not for the child, but for the parents watching this happening. Like parents feel like failures if their child doesn’t have friends.

Can society stop putting friendship on a pedestal? Not having friends is not the worst thing in the world. I know some neurodivergent people do want friends and are lonely, and I do feel bad for them. But framing lacking friendships as the worst consequence of neurodivergence gives me all kinds of ick. Could the person who made this video possibly comprehend that some neurodivergent people don’t want friends? I’m guessing no. It’s just so annoying to watch the platonormativity around you and feel alone.

[aspec-man-thing]

I'm also an aspec (more arospec I think? Still working on that.) man type kinda neurodivergent thing and I just wanted to tell you that you're cool. *Awesome fist bump*

*Awesome fist bump* 😎 You're pretty cool yourself, my dude!

[aspec-man-thing]

HEY! HEY YOU

if you like using microlabels and feel like they fit you better so that's what you use, YOU ARE VALID!

if you don't like using microlabels and prefer the general labels because that what you feel like fits you better, YOU ARE VALID!

remember, its YOUR box and YOU are the only one who gets to choose how you identify and what labels you use!

[aspec-man-thing]

I'm going to use this as a jumping off point. Yes! a queerplatonic partner can be your best friend, but I would not consider my best friend my queerpatonic partner.

A QPR has a range of emotions that can create it outside of romantic and sexual, just it's most commonly platonic and sensual.

Everyone defines it differently, some it's just the feeling of a best friend that you hold the relationship with very highly. But as someone who has an nebulous attraction towards individuals, for me it's more like: the most intense feeling that someone is special to you. And them seeing you as just a special.

It can be someone dating someone else despite there being no romantic feelings or what romantic feelings there are, are unrequited.

It could be just a desire for it to be a QPR.

It's basically putting a non romantic relationship to the standards and status of a romantic one.

"isn't a queerplatonic partner just a best friend" please tell me the difference between a girlfriend and a wife aside from the paperwork

[aspec-man-thing]

Of course! I'm always happy to answer questions<2

Nebul-omniaspec: I confuse all my attractions for each other / my attractions are nebulous due to neurodivergency.

Aceflex: fluidly moving across the entire ace-spectrum.

Bellusro: does not experience romantic attraction but does desire a romantic coded relationship without the Romantic feelings.

Cupiosen: does not experience sensual attraction but has a desire for sensual relationship.

Me: *existing as AAAA battery* (nebul-omniaspec, aceflux, bellusro, cupiosen)

Asshole people:

[aspec-man-thing]

Is this a safe space for aplatonics? I'm not even aplatonic personally, I just worry about them because they seem to get pushed out of aroace spaces a lot.

Yes

[aspec-man-thing]

AROMANTICISM. YOU AGREE. REBLOG