aspiringjester

[aspiringjester]

"i kissed my partner at midnight, how did you start the new year??"

me and the boys (people of culture):

[aspiringjester]

humbly,,,,, what if skinja,,,, needs a skinhyuk

(i love him sm he's precious hgfhfhgf thank u for the food)

Of course how can Skinja survive without his Life and Death companion

Skinja

[aspiringjester]

hi, what is stopping you from creating skin dokja

I fear the orvies aren't ready for something as beautiful as the skin creatures....but I can't live my life with the question of "what if..."

Behold

Skinja

[aspiringjester]

i fully judge the quality of a svsss fic based on the directly proportionate quality of how much i want to smack shen yuan upside the head for being a fucking idiot (the more i do the better i KNOW this fic is about to be)

[aspiringjester]

i'm back!! (and about to be worse than ever)

[aspiringjester]

I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING (cumplane) BUILDING AGAIN

anyways I need a regular world au where people know what SQH looks like bc idk he tried to make it on social media as a writing influencer or did live streams or something BUT he has no idea what peerless cucumber looks like bc bro is ANONYMOUS

SQH is picturing between the username and the vitriolic comments about how awful the porn is that he's either some bitchass teenager or a middle aged man with nothing better to do and he seems to be So Annoyed at being called his "cute hater/#1 fan" so if course he has to be something lame right? Right?

imagine SQH's (horny) shock when they meet through whatever slapstick circumstances follow these two clowns every day of their lives and mr hater is in fact the Prettiest Twink he's seen in a MINUTE and is so easily flustered and quick to be a BITCH to him--

yeah no he needs to make this cute pretty thing his IMMEDIATELY lmao

SY of course has no idea and thinks all the time this hack author is staring at him in silence while he rants means he's making Flawless Arguments and SQH simply has nothing to fight back with so TAKE THAT HAHA YOU DUMBFUCK AUTHOR

(he doesn't get a clue for a While)

[aspiringjester]

important information has anyone written a bichen esque situation with jiuyan where shen yuan transmigrates into xiu ya and shen jiu,,,, well,,,

and if not does anyone want one-- *gunshots*

(listen trust me there's a version in my brain of humanized weapons in this setting but uh I'm Not Talking About That)

[aspiringjester]

been holding it in for so long but i think it's finally time to live my truth.... i'm coming out as a bottom mobei-jun truther 🫣

(part of this is influenced by a GALAXY brain take on an omegaverse fic i read a while back where the logic was mbj HAD to be an omega so that fans wouldn't see him as alpha competition for lbh AND YOU KNOW WHAT i see the vision--)

ANYWAYS mobei-jun is actually the world's prettiest ice queen of a wife to shang qinghua's That Guy husband energy and SOMEDAY i will fulfill my vision

also i am not immune to the sheer power of the mobei-jussy-- [gunshots]

[aspiringjester]

if you run a gimmick blog with a patreon and start whining about the gofundmes of refugees I think at the bare minimum you should be legally required to get PIG tattooed on your forehead in large bold letters with reflective eye-catching ink

[aspiringjester]

YOU GET IT

top sy truthers unite 💪

jiuyuan fires the same brain neurons to me as ranwan and so for that reason i think shen yuan should be allowed to destroy the bitchass old man twink's pu-- *gunshots*

[aspiringjester]

(crackfic warning)

personally I think the Funniest Possible Thing that could happen in mdzs fics is for study arc wangxian to end up in some situation where they can read each other's mind ESPECIALLY reading teenji's mind

bro was a 6 ft walking tower of gay emotional repression and I DESPERATELY need wwx to find out that lwj can't decide if he wants to hit him or kiss him with equal amounts of ferocity and they both just have to LIVE with that knowledge

OR EVEN BETTER:

lwj gets cursed to speak his mind or something and shenanigans ensure as he can no longer hold back behind a secretly cool mature mask and instead starts having major beef with jiang cheng and now they're both just being bitches to each other and lwj is constantly knocking himself out to avoid spilling his guts to his wei ying (it's not working)

just in general everyone learning the brain behind mr. "every day is every day" is the second jade and not his disaster twink is PEAK OKAY DON'T @ ME

[aspiringjester]

average cumplane interaction

[aspiringjester]

jiuyuan fires the same brain neurons to me as ranwan and so for that reason i think shen yuan should be allowed to destroy the bitchass old man twink's pu-- *gunshots*

[aspiringjester]

thinking back on it i genuinely think one of the funniest things that ever happened to me was reading on the sv wiki (?) (don't quote me it's been a minute) that lqg was canonically straight and people were upset that his pining was passed off as just bro things™️ only to actually get around to reading the books and realising NO it's just SHEN QINGQIU who thinks he's straight and this man is in LOVE

sqq you unreliable narrator i love you and i also want to strangle you <3

[aspiringjester]

hey you guys ever think about the idea of ladies at the warm red pavilion who love their shen jiu so much and care for him when he takes refuge there because he, like them, has been victim to the cruelty of man and one day that they have no way of knowing they said goodbye to him for the last time and would never see him again because shen yuan has no way of knowing anything about that so they're just waiting for a friend who will never return, who CAN never return

no? just me? cool cool cool cool cool

[aspiringjester]

not enough people put into practice the concept that in a complete identity reveal mobei jun can flex on binghe that lbh might be the protagonist but HE'S god's (daddy's) favorite

[aspiringjester]

food.... water.... jiuyuan with bottom shen jiu.....