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[astriloquus1]

What goes around comes around Like I drowned. So do I let you in? Do I fall back to your pinky and spin?

Oh she’s gone again Darling I’ve fallen all over again I tell you it won't happen again. Been there, done that. Yet again, You quietly call the bluff in my voice. Again and again and again And again.

A million times, I’d choose you if I could. But I never did decide. Cause falling isn't a choice, I understood You walk in and I realize There you stand, And here I am, damned.

What goes around comes around. Pretty much how you downed. So do you get another chance? Was any of this ever a romance?

[astriloquus1]

The boy from forever

WHy do we not have center align.

[astriloquus1]

hold on a second man…

[astriloquus1]

Look at the moon and think of me Think of how I kept you up on your birthday Stayed up all night dreaming when i heard you say 'This might actually work' (Too afraid to stand up after we fell face first)

Ask a question and think of our games. Think of how my cheeks flared when I caught your stare. Favorite colors and food, 3 things i love? 'You, you and you.' (Now that answer just might be the worst)

I hope you hear a laugh and think of mine Take a picture and think of mine Watch a movie and think It should've been with me.

I hope every time you say that one word you feel you throat dry down, eyes well up and you think, She used to be mine.

A table or Taylor swift. Library or late nights. the sky and a sunset. Pasta or brownies. Your little snores when you fell asleep and my sighs you always felt were something else

Read every story, that could've been us. If only we weren't fucked up But I know I'm not to blame you I know this was karma's fated due These poems are turning into my infamy I sit here, waiting for you to stir back our alchemy

So I hope, when you think of us there's a little smile on your face. And then you realize I'm all you want I'm where you want to sit at the restaurant You know my smile is everything you ever wish to see And baby i really hope, every damn minute, you think of me.

[astriloquus1]

My world goes around Yours turned upside down.

My love couldn't make you stay Yours made you step away.

The blame game has finally settled. For once, I win. and its left me stiffled. Gave you space enough to fall now the void has me threatened.

The anchor snapped in the storm. Always, I'd be there, But only in your dorm You grew sick of this house when you lost your home

This broken boy is new. Baby, I've got no idea what to do.

A picture put us at the start Then the verity pulled it apart.

Left in the epilogue Places I'll never go, Words I'll never hear Colors I'll never see Your Love, that I'll never feel.

[astriloquus1]

Let the nails scratch in too deep,

From the crescents against blood streams You build moons and shooting stars Won't let yourself see the scars.

How far along is the deceit,

Believing this game of make believe Afraid to let the rose lenses leave Let your heart off the sleeve.

I love the living hell of you, {I'm afraid I mean that too much.}

Show's over, doodle your own receipt,

Lost enough of your life Can't let this pathetic love connive Over this fever dream of a discerning housewife.

Please don't make this the end effete,

Lived through a love That most only heard of Its time to get over what should've.

"Now I have to remember you longer than I've known you,"

[astriloquus1]

Can I fall into you now? I'm nothing if not yours.

Can you hear me at all? Standing behind these doors.

Can you feel the tug? Every time it's your name I curse.

Can I drown in you finally? The void just keeps getting worse.

Can you hold me when I break? Not strong enough to stay away.

Can you stop hurting me now? Promise to let you have your way.

None of me rhymes without you, Nothing makes sense.

Can we be us forever? I can't do it anyway else.

[astriloquus1]

undeciphered stares hold declarations unspoken

almost touching hands leave lingering temptations

unkept promises hide dangerous hope

stars light years away illusioned together by constellations

threads of the souls woven and torn by heart

[astriloquus1]

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

— Benjamin Franklin

[astriloquus1]

The Villain

He was bright and terrifying

like the sun to arrive.

He was ice and a burn

like shades of blue brought alive.

He'd burn the world

and you'd drown in his smile.

Passion and torment?

walk right down his aisle.

He was ambition and the woods

a mess of suits and cuffs and neck ties.

He was a pretty face and a gentleman

with a dangerous gleam in his sordid eyes.

He was crooked lines cut razor sharp just too bit.

Don't try to soften the edges, he's not a broken boy to fit.

Falling for him was easy, Allure to the darkness and all.

But standing straight was hard, love is too deep a fall.

It wouldn't sit right, so you'd change the script,

A hero you'd worship and make to believe;

all that he'd shatter and leave you to grieve.

And laughing at the grave he'd come to visit,

Oh darling, The villain writes his story;

and you watch and romanticize all his glory.

[astriloquus1]

“Connection is either there or it’s not.”

I heard that this morning, and all I can think about since, is how some people have no idea what deep connection feels like. They carry on, sipping their tea, smiling at the sunset in the company of a stranger, and they long for nothing. I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t envy something about that. Because once you know deep connection, surface level feels like drowning. And well, I’ve been gasping for air for quite some time now.

[astriloquus1]

Growing up is when my favourite season changed from spring to fall.

[astriloquus1]

Today, I need someone to wrap me up in their sweet words

Letting me pour all over their hands

Instead of the ground

Letting me fall into them

Instead of the sound

Of my own heart beating

Far too fast

Today, I need to feel loved

Seen

Heard

Today, I need to be touched

Kissed

Moved

Today, I need to be free of all of the mental constraints

That continue to pull me under

Today, I need to see myself

In a way that I believe is true

Today, I need to see myself

In the way that I see you

[astriloquus1]

I feel wicked contempt

crawling underneath my skin

Your fingernails dig into my flesh

to let it raise, make me loathe you

But you strike my veins by accident

and it gushes out, the shameful love I hide.

More sickly than the hatred

leaves me only a bundle of nerves

You pick out my broken heart

claim it as a trophy and make leave

I beg you to slit my throat, tear my lungs

you only stare, for me to fathom

what lies in those lifeless eyes.

[astriloquus1]

Timing is a funny thing

She’s there

He’s not

She leaves

He knocks on the wall

Both of them moving at rapid speeds

In different directions

With the same white door at the end of the hall

Tell me, did you ever fully walk inside?

I left you a note in the crack of the floor

That way you’ll never feel alone

Not like I did

[astriloquus1]

Why throw tomato soup on The Sunflowers?

Go demolish private jets or something dude.

What'd Van Gogh do?

[astriloquus1]

"I gave my heart to a boy who threw it away. Now I simply don't have one." "Thats alright, keep mine."