atlas-collections - Tumblr blog

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-Rox

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-Rox

UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! #intears #lmao 

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-Rox

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Leaving the house:

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that comorbidity feel when you can’t tell which disorder is the reason ur doing what ur doing 

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OCD

Well, I apparently have OCD. Which makes sense because it’s the first diagnosis I ever recieved nearly 10 years ago. I always disregarded it because it was like OCD and hypochondriasis had a baby out of wedlock.

But recently my eating disorder has gotten much better. Everything has gotten much better. Except now I have overwhelming thought anxiety that is torturous and the obsessive thoughts are no longer about health issues. I’m scared that I’m gonna get hit by a car, die in some horrible accident, cause a car or bus crash, accidentally kill someone, accidentally kill a kid, be unable to perform cpr or first aid correctly, kill someone by doing cpr or first aid incorrectly etc. etc.

My psychiatrist asked if I had any compulsions and I said no. And then I started noticing them. Obsessively reading first aid manuals (multiple), checking to make sure cars aren’t coming multiple times, checking locks, checking ovens, checking my backpack to make sure I have my first aid kit even though I checked five minutes ago.

Here I thought it was just normal anxious thoughts. And I don’t know what to do. I’m practicing mindfulness of thoughts and self soothing mostly but the thoughts won’t stop and it’s horrible and I’m constantly afraid. My sleep has been terrible because I’m afraid we’ll all die in a fire. This is horrible and frightening but I’ll get through it somehow. I really don’t want another med though.

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Unhelpful mental health professionals

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Bootsie Life | #31 | 17.02.15 | Would You Really?

-this comic is about Dissociative Identity Disorder and in response to a comment from a doubtful family member- 

-ok 2 rb if you dont have DID-

-THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ABOUT KINTYPES- do not tag as oc or kin-

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♡ No Gender, No Problem! ♡ 

Please don’t remove this caption! ☆

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Lilo

It is so fucking exhausting fighting your brain every day dude

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signal boost: there are massive floods in kerala, india because of the monsoons. 77 people have died. here’s how you can help.

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Haven't Been Out in Awhile

Hey, Rosemary here! I've been out for a bit here and there but this is the longest in awhile. The room looked like a hurricane hit it...a massive hurricane. Cleaning is a massive trigger with him when it's anything other than minor cleanup. In exchange I picked out a meal. Mordecai relapsed with the eating disorder massively, and we will likely have to go back to residential. He promised not to use behaviors after this, so at least I got some nutrition into this body.

Especially since we're dealing with Mitochondrial Myopathy, which gets worse without proper nutrition. He had a lung functio test on Monday and did so poorly that the computer wouldn't even record his breathing.

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TW SI, Sexual Assault

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A few days ago I wrote a suicide note, which I've never done before when suicidal. I've been starting to accept that I was sexually assaulted in January. And with that I feel hopeless that I will ever be strong. I feel like I can't defend myself at all and that I'm too weak to exist. I believe that it will happen again and again, and I can't do anything to stop it. Rosemary came out and notified the staff of my worsened suicidality. She handed over the note and talked to one of the therapists. She suggested I talk about it during group processing. This scared the shit out of me. I did discuss it, but only the therapist replied. No one else has anything to say. Support felt absent. I feel like it did not help me at all. But I am trying to fight it.

Now I'm on sharps restriction. No knife use during cooking group. I don't think I can use scissors. All glass and sharp things are locked up. Frequent check ins from staff. And if gets worse or I become more unsafe then I'll be transferred to a hospital inpatient psych unit. Which would be counter productive. Their groups suck and are barely helpful, I wouldn't have the same compassionate staff support, I'd isolate more, I'd be alone more often, and I'd have insufficient or absent support with eating and no weight checks or nutritional supplementation.

So, in that case I might as well not be anywhere.

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Can you like/reblog this post if you’re part of a system and your body is over 20 years old? I’m tired of how we’re seen as cringey because we’re “too old to be multiple” when treating systems as cringey really just reveals that people think systems are fake.

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A reminder for DID/OSDD alters

You’re real

You matter

You are so helpful

We couldn’t do this without you

We love you

(if you’re not a system feel free to still reblog because we need positivity from people outside the DID community as well)

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It’s so important to accept systems with nuanced experiences with disability.

Like when one alter is mute and the rest of the system isn’t.

When the system is autistic (cause the whole brain is), but some alters show more symptoms than others. Same with ADD/ADHD.

When one alter has a diagnosis (like BPD, schizoaffective disorder, etc) that the others don’t.

When an alter gets sick when they’re up front, but the rest of the system is fine.

When alters have different allergies.

When some alters are mobile and others are not. 

When one alter is blind or deaf and the others are not.

And anything else like this. Each disability affects each alter in a unique way. These nuanced experiences are all possible.