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[azazals-queer-bookstore]

To be honest, after the (in my opinion) dissapointment that was the Loki TV show (not to bash Loki themself, im a Loki Kin lol) I did not expect Black Widow to be good. Yet hear i am, rewatching it for the fith time.

[azazals-queer-bookstore]

not me wondering how to attend a Royal Wedding to tumble over $75000 cake with my arch-nemesis.

[azazals-queer-bookstore]

Years Ago I Met A Prince

A partial book review and mostly just rambling, by a very sleep deprived Azazal

              “Years ago i met a prince” this is a quote from page 373 of a book titled “Red White And Royal Blue.” That book, and that quote in particular, are why I am writing this. As a bisexual, Trans man, i’ve never seen myself in media, I’ve never related to a main character before, especially not in any romance book. Romance, a genre overwhelmed with shirtless men on book covers, normally with a helpless damsel in a nightgown draped over their arms. For most of my life I hated this genre, I thought to myself “Who would willingly read this?” Romance was a downside to a piece of media in my mind, never a plus, and never, ever, a main plot point, until I read Red, White, And Royal Blue.  I had heard so much about this book on the internet, and it piqued my interest. As far as i knew, it was a simple romance book, only thing different was it was gay. I didn’t think I'd like it, didn’t think it’d be as momentous as it was. I’ve read love stories before between 2 men, or 2 women. My AO3 history can back that up, but never a real, paperback, officially printed romance book. Not to say i hadn't read stories with LGBTQ characters in them, The Mortal Instruments and the Magnus Chase series to name two off the top of my head, but it was never a main plot point. Why would it be? Romance books were marketed to teenage girls, to swoon over a handsome, yet mysterious stranger, and in other genre books, romance was a side plot, not as important as saving the world from destruction or, i don’t know, going to a wizarding school? But not this book, this book, though the setting may be outlandish, a First Son and a Prince, the skeleton of the story, woven into every page, was a story i, and i know many other queer teenagers, can relate too. This book wasn’t written to swoon over, it was written as an escape, for teenagers like myself, who’s lives don’t allow us to love so freely, sometimes out of religion, or hundreds of other variables. We can see ourselves in this book, relate to Alex being oblivious, or to Henry quoting his favorite poets, Because, at the core of this story, it’s down to earth. It’s written for people like me, and thats not a luxury many queer teens can experience. 

The “Oh” Moment

                     The book starts like how I'd imagine lots of romance stories start (pardon me for not being to read up on the genre) Alex Claremont-Diaz,  the headstrong, cocky first son “confronting” his (self proclaimed) arch nemesis Henry Wales. After a photographed altercation between the two main characters, Alex’s publicity team scramble to cover it up, and therefore, forcing Alex and Henry to smile for the camera, and pretend they’re best friends. To any well read person in pretty much any fandom, I’m sure those story beats I just listed are ringing a bell, the “fake relationship” tag on AO3 to spiecify. Only it gets more complicated, as that fake friendship morphs into a much more real one, Alex is seemingly caught off guard by how utterly normal the prince is, having imagined him as some snooty, saltine cracker of a person ever since their first meeting at the Rio olympics a few years prior. Not to hate on saltine crackers. As they grow closer, Alex finds he finally has someone who relates to what he goes through as the first son, Both Henry and Alex thrust into a country-wide spotlight in teendom (and Henry a bit earlier.) Alex has to re-contextualize everything, after Henry kisses him at a new years party. The “Oh” Moment.

You all know the scene, our main character has some big thing revealed and, with everything going on in their head, all they can muster up to say is “Oh.” You all know that moment because most of us have experienced it. The final puzzle piece clicks into place after months, maybe even years of confusion, everything becoming more clearer as the big revelation finally dawns on you. Old memories you hadn’t thought about in years, brought to the surface as you see them in a new light. And through all of that, as you can really say (or think) is “Oh.” Because, Oh. Oh shit sometimes, but that Oh moment is so common in queer media, because of how common it is in queer lives. For Alex, that Oh moment comes at the aforementioned new years eve party, where Henry kisses him out in the gardens of the white house. The next pages of the book filled with Alex fitting everything together, finally having a name of so many experiences in his life, and for many a queer reader, painfully relatable.