bad-similes-blog

[bad-similes-blog]

Avatar is like Pocahontas dipped in blue Kool-Aid... plus sex.

[bad-similes-blog]

Tripe tastes worse than Hitler's exposed ass crack.

[bad-similes-blog]

Twizzlers are like child leashes for fairies, except child leashes don't make me salivate. Oh wait... yah they do......

[bad-similes-blog]

Thanksgiving dinner is more delicious than a bypass surgery is necessary.

[bad-similes-blog]

Being away from you makes my heart into a melted puddle of low fat, non dairy, margarine spread with no bagel to disperse myself over.

[bad-similes-blog]

I miss you like a man with no teeth misses creamed corn.

[bad-similes-blog]

Going through airport security is like smangin' the Tang chimpanzee with a dirty plastic spork.

[bad-similes-blog]

Katy Perry is hotter than a frozen fish stick that has been thawed, microwaved, heated in the oven at 450 degrees Fahrenheit, saved in a tupperwear container for later, and re-microwaved during that ten minute break you have between classes next wednesday.

[bad-similes-blog]

You smell like a honey coated turkey crossing the interstate highway.

[bad-similes-blog]

The sound of your voice is like the sound of a kitten in a garbage disposal.

[bad-similes-blog]

Watching Fox News is like being tied to a radiator and graped in the mouth with conservative politics.

[bad-similes-blog]

Comma splices are like two janky puzzle pieces that are saturated with Welch's grape juice and toddler drool, they just don't fit together how you expect.

[bad-similes-blog]

Marti Gras-- it's like high school prom, but stickier.

[bad-similes-blog]

Eating at Taco Bell is like Christmas, except the Christmas tree catches on fire and instead of presents you get a cock-slap from Santa Claus' older brother in prison that the family doesn't like to talk about.

[bad-similes-blog]

Listening to that Nickelback song was worse than having my tongue cut off, shred into little pieces, coated in honey, and fed to a rabid badger who was given a taste for human flesh.

[bad-similes-blog]

Eating my grandma's green bean casserole tastes like being crucified.

[bad-similes-blog]

My teeth are shinier than a freshly buffed floor at New Seasons.