ballerwizard

[ballerwizard]

everyone say in the tags what their current custom discord status is

[ballerwizard]

I worry that it may perhaps clash with my many orbs, but I could try to find a place for it.

Moving into a wizard tower outside the city what should I install?

I already got orbs. Lot of orbs. Need something other than orbs.

[ballerwizard]

does anybody else drunk night sword

[ballerwizard]

Look man, sometimes you pull an all-nighter on a cocktail of potions, rum, and 5 hour energy, and by the time you wake up you have zero memories of the night and one notebook containing the newly invented "Invert Teeth."

So I've been scouring the ancient library in order to start my spell collection and came upon something peculiar in the young caster section, a transmutation Spell book made by an unnamed wizard

So, apparently in his novice days, this wizard created a bunch of spells, some of which are:

Skin to honey

Hair to silver

Flesh to chocolate

Lungs to diamonds?

Blood to cheese?!

[ballerwizard]

The embrace of one's companions and compratiots is pretty good when you don't have a cursed amulet on your ear telling you shit.

[ballerwizard]

Moving into a wizard tower outside the city what should I install?

I already got orbs. Lot of orbs. Need something other than orbs.

[ballerwizard]

Yeah well dont let the ominously creaking door hit you on the way out

[ballerwizard]

[ballerwizard]

Slightly less horribly crushing!

FINALLY GOT A REAL JOB! NO MORE WIZARD CRAIGSLIST FOR ME!

I have INSURANCE now! I don't have to just cure wounds all my problems anymore! Fuck yeah!

[ballerwizard]

FINALLY GOT A REAL JOB! NO MORE WIZARD CRAIGSLIST FOR ME!

I have INSURANCE now! I don't have to just cure wounds all my problems anymore! Fuck yeah!

[ballerwizard]

Is entrapping people in a massive spider web and lighting it on fire illegal in the state of Massachusetts?

Time sensitive question.

[ballerwizard]

I live in a part of the country where most teleportation is illegal. I'm pretty sure your spells are considered crimes against humanity.

hey is like. arsenic lung an illegal spell? is cyanide blood illegal?

will i have my floating cartoon head on a platter if i, god forbid, transmute necessary body parts into common deadly poisons? i wanna made a guy sweat poison ivy oil

[ballerwizard]

No can do, the Wizard of Interesting Failure already got the curse and put her in a new tape. You'll have to take it up with them.

Bought an old VHS tape online and used Remove Curse and it FUCKING. WORKED. There was a CURSE on the VHS tape wth who tried to curse me.

[ballerwizard]

I also sobbed when I saw barbie appreciating an old woman, sitting beside her on the bench, because that's what a woman is and that's what being human is, and that's what life is and she saw imperfection and age and realized it was beautiful.

She was so scared of being imperfect and having cellulite and aging and dying, and then she saw how beautiful all of those things could be, and she cried, and I cried.

And I understood. And I felt understood.

[ballerwizard]

I also sobbed when I saw barbie appreciating an old woman, sitting beside her on the bench, because that's what a woman is and that's what being human is, and that's what life is and she saw imperfection and age and realized it was beautiful.

She was so scared of being imperfect and having cellulite and aging and dying, and then she saw how beautiful all of those things could be, and she cried, and I cried.

And I understood. And I felt understood.

[ballerwizard]

Yep, that's exactly what Steve said. I miss Steve.

hey @the-gnomish-bastard why are you killing so many gods people are going to war against you. they were my pals. thats not cool man. not cool. :(

[ballerwizard]

You made sure to get the proper licensing and certifications for the Thing, right? I'd hate to see a repeat of last time.

hey @the-gnomish-bastard why are you killing so many gods people are going to war against you. they were my pals. thats not cool man. not cool. :(