bapfiction-blog

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I don’t think he heard you Jungkook…

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(assuming that you are a girl and probably older) Unnie-ah~ I love your writings and this blog too! You write so much better than most scenario writers! You are AWESOME! Fighting! <3

dsfljkfdlgalkg thank you so much for the message even though I barely update anymore ♥♥♥♥ 

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Where have you been all my life?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :) :) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Aaaw ♥♥ thanks for reading and liking! :)

[bapfiction-blog]

This Winter Day

Just a little drabble for valentines ♥ Hope you guys had a great day. :)

Credit for scan © B.A.P_R2

----

You shiver involuntarily when another breeze blows past, stinging the skin of your exposed cheeks. You didn’t mind winter, even thought snow was pretty, but too much of a good thing could turn painful as this long winter is proving to be. You huff, wishing the snow could just melt away this instant.

Youngjae seems to sense your dissatisfaction and he pulls you in closer.

“Cold?”

“Hmm,” you nod, concentrating all your efforts into trudging through the snow so you could make it back to your warm house faster.

He squeezes your shoulder again and you’re grateful for the gesture until you’re suddenly being pushed into a giant snow bank.

It catches you off guard and before you know it, you’re buried butt first in a mountain of snow. You hear a sort of manic laughter and you whip around to see your boyfriend doubled over and slapping his thighs. You glowered at him, hands already moving on their own to pack the snow beside you into a deformed snowball.

Without warning, you lob it at him, hitting him squarely on the crown and the snow disperses onto his dark hair. It doesn’t have the desired effect, however, when Youngjae merely starts laughing harder. His legs give way and then, he’s deposited into his own pile of snow, still giggling to himself.

You push yourself out of the snow and grabbing another handful, you dump it all into his lap with glee. You smirk at him, satisfied, but Youngjae has better reflexes than you give him credit for and he grabs your wrist, pulling you to land into the snow beside him.

You gasp at him but he just smiles wide and leans forward to peck your nose.

“You’re pretty in the snow.” He says, still smiling.

“Oh, am I?” You ask, smiling sweetly back at him before spraying him in the face with more snow. He sputters indignantly, reaching up to wipe it off his face and you make full use of the distraction. You push him backwards into the snow and lift yourself up and out of the little hole you’d made when you fell in.

You do your best to put as much distance as possible between you and him but he catches up anyway, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders from behind. He’s still chuckling, though out of breath but before you can throw his arms off, he surrenders.

“Alright, alright, let’s just get home.” He says, amusement evident in his voice.

He lets go of you with one last squeeze and comes to stand next to you instead, this time taking your hand in his.

“Are you mad?” He asks, with a twinkle in his eyes.

You hmph at him and try your best to look disapproving but he laughs, seeing through your act - He knows you had fun. Still, he pulls you in to kiss your cheek, “Don’t be mad. I’ll be your servant for the rest of the day okay?”

You scoff again and roll your eyes – it was already 8 in the evening and not many hours left in the day. You push him away with a hand to his chest but let him hold on to your hand and when you finally got to your home, you dangle the keys in his face.

“Open,” you demand and he chuckles as he takes the keys from you.

“Yes, master,” he bows dramatically before going to unlock the door.

The two of you keep up the charade as he holds the front door open for you and takes your coat when you’re both in.

“Hot chocolate,” you command your servant-boyfriend as you plop comfortably onto your sofa and he shakes his head with a smile, going into the kitchen to make your drinks.

“And don’t forget the extra marshmallows,” you call after him imperiously although it’s practically a tradition for the both of you and you know he would never forget your marshmallows.

You turn on the TV and Youngjae returns shortly, with two mugs in his hands. He places them onto the coasters you had laid out on the coffee table and then turns to you.

“May I have the honor of joining you for this drink, my highness?” He bows deeply, not looking up until you answer.

“Very well,” you say, scooting over to make space for him but then he tackles you so that you’re lying on your back and he’s hovering over you.

He smiles at you impishly and you can’t help but gape at him.

“Yoo Youngjae, you-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence as he leans down to press his lips to yours, drawing you in for a heart-stopping kiss.

“You what?” He asks when he pulls back, grinning like an idiot, but the question barely registers in your head and you just pull him back, reconnecting your lips to wipe that stupid, smug grin off his face.

He returns the kiss with just as much fervor, shifting slightly so that he’s lying next to you and trapping your body between the couch back and his own.

“I love you,” he says when he finally breaks the kiss; face so close to yours that the tips of your noses touch. He’s smiling, like before, but now you can feel his bliss practically radiating off him and you can’t help but smile back.

“I love you too.”

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Angel

So I'm a little late but this was inspired by the mv. :) Love the song so much and Himchan's acting akdlsajfdl;kfgkf ♥♥♥♥

Confusion, loneliness, regret, grief and despair. You are all of that. And they are all of you now. That is your curse.

----

Daehyun sighs as he enters the room; it’s been a long and tiring day but this has become a tradition that Daehyun has no intention of breaking. He looks over his collection of random and seemingly useless items arranged carefully on every surface of the room. Impassively, he moves around to place his new additions amongst them carefully. They serve no purpose really; Daehyun only relives the memories once, immediately after he touches them.

Daehyun isn’t particularly attached to any of them; he just likes knowing all the secrets behind them - their true value, and how much their original possessors had treasured each one.

Daehyun slips the first one out of his pocket - a small hand mirror with an ornate clasp.

It’s smudged with too many fingerprints, but Daehyun is satisfied when he sees his reflection in it anyway. He smiles wide, adjusting his collar. He absolutely cannot believe that he’s scored a date with you, the girl he’d been eyeing for months now through the window of the café. He gives himself one last look, one last pat down before snapping the mirror shut. You’ll be here any minute now.

  Any minute now. Youngjae feels like he’s going to explode any minute now. His head swirls; hurts and his face is pinched from the pain despite himself. It attracts the nurse’s attention and she greets him with a concerned look. She tells him that they’ve upped his dosage since the current one wasn’t helping and Youngjae just nods, trying his best to look grateful. He takes the pills from her, slips them into his mouth and gulps down the glass of water on the tray.

Then he leans back and waits until the woman is out of sight before spitting them all out and crushing them into the crowded crook in his bedframe. He sighs as he lets his head drop heavily onto his pillow. Youngjae doesn’t want to cause problems but he finds that whenever he takes his pills, his dreams turn out blurry as if screened and Youngjae hates it.

He hates that, no matter what he does, all he remembers of you are broken fragments. Hates living in this limbo between the glimpses of then and the nightmares of now.

But it’s all he has. These fragile wisps of a memory buried too deep within the recesses of his head, is all he has left. So Youngjae waits. Waits for the day he’ll break out of this prison that holds only reflections of the real you.

  Daehyun lays the mirror down and turns his attention instead to the steel castle sitting next to it. It’s still covered in the dirt Daehyun had found it buried in and he moves to sweep them off, letting the little particles fall onto the wooden floor.

  The dirt crunches under Daehyun’s feet and he’s somewhat aware that he’s probably ruining his shoes but he finds, to his surprise, that he could care less about that right now. He reaches for your hand, curling his fingers between yours and smiles when you tug at it excitedly, leading him towards the pink castle modeled after fairy tales. He has to admit- he had been a tad embarrassed to be here, but now that he’s with you, nothing else really matters anymore.

  Nothing. Nothing matters to him anymore. Yongguk grasps the neck of the heavy bottle tightly and pours himself what must be the hundredth drink of the day. He picks the glass up when it’s full and downs the liquid in one go, ignoring the burn in his throat as he does so. The ice cubes clink emptily around the glass when he places it down and the sound somehow reminds him of the echo in his heart.

Suddenly feeling sick, Yongguk shoots up, making the side table spin on its legs and the almost empty bottle tips, falls to the ground with a resounding crash. Yongguk stops in his tracks and grimaces to see the liquid seep into the grains of his hardwood floor - The sight looks too much like the loneliness that has crept into his life after you left.

Dazedly, he stumbles through the house, letting his palms drag over the surfaces of his home. Your home. The one you two should be sharing now. He sees the kitchen counter that you two would prepare breakfast at. He sees the little loveseat you would cuddle in while a movie plays on the TV. He sees the bed you would make love in and wake up in each other’s arms on.

Yongguk slides down into a crouch; unable to keep himself steady any longer, and buries his face in his hands. Everything just seems so empty without you. And nothing he does seems to fill that hole in his heart.

He misses you.

  Daehyun places the castle on the highest shelf and conjures a couple of miniature clouds from thin air. He gives them a little push, making them float between the cold, steel towers. It’s a pretty sight but it only fills Daehyun with a sense of melancholy and longing. He lingers to stare at it for a while until a clatter captures his attention. It’s another new addition to his collection – a toy wooden horse that has fallen from the turntable he’d placed it on. Daehyun climbs down the steps to pick it up and return it to its place, watching as it turns round and round with its brothers like a roofless carousel.

  The carousel. Junhong remembers it clearly, even as he fingers the picture of it stuck onto the wall on the far end of the room, amongst the many well wishing cards and handiworks of your friends. Junhong smiles to see the sheer number of them - a testimony to the number of lives you’ve touched. You’ve always been kind and caring, and altogether too loving. Especially to people who didn’t deserve it.

People like him.

Junhong goes to stand by your bedside, stroking your pale cheek with a thumb softly. So softly, as if afraid you might break into pieces with anything more. He sucks in a deep breath but it does nothing to stop the tears and they spill over all too quickly. Big, fat drops fall onto your pristine white blanket against Junhong’s wishes.

Junhong lets out a broken sob and he sinks to his knees, reaching out to hold your open palm in both of his. He buries his face in your hand as he cries and fills it with tears.

The memories are what torture him, because they remind him of everything that you’d had - Your first date, your first embrace and first kiss.

The first time he’d learned to treasure someone.

And the torture him, because they also remind him of everything he’s ruined. Everything he’s come to regret.

  Daehyun straightens suddenly, struck by a belated realization. He stops the turntable and turns each horse around. And when he starts it up again, the horses go forward, round and round. It registers, just barely, in Daehyun’s head that it’s right now but he feels little satisfaction and merely picks up the camera next to it; the spinning horses look like they might make a pretty picture, he thinks.

  Daehyun’s smile gets impossibly wider as he snaps the picture. The warm wind ruffles his hair just like how he remembers and he thinks maybe things cannot get any better because you were here – at his favorite beach, in his hometown, the bustling city of Busan. Daehyun hugs you to himself, the sounds of your laughter filling his heart to the brim. All of his favorite things were here, what more could he ask for?

  Only one thing. That you leave him alone. That’s all Jongup could ask for. It’s all he wants now. And yet, you still plague him. Day after day and night after night. You’re always there, here, everywhere. Even when he works himself to the bone or when he dances to the point of collapsing. You’re just there.

Jongup swears aloud and flips his desk over. Hot, angry tears roll down his cheeks as the occupants of his desk also roll off one by one to crash noisily onto the ground. He pulls at his hair in frustration. Nothing works, and every time he thinks he’s free; thinks he’s forgotten you, a random, abandoned memory will surface and he’s trapped yet again.

What’s worse is that Jongup just couldn’t understand why this was happening. Why couldn’t he just forget you? He had always been good at forgetting. He was rarely upset, rarely hurt. He always took everything in stride; not paying too much attention to the things that could hurt him.

Until now. Until you. And he couldn’t figure out why. Couldn’t understand when you had turned from being his angel, the light of his life, to this insurmountable wall of pain.

  Daehyun sets the camera down and turns to watch the movie playing on his wall. It’s his last item of the day and though it’s been a long time since he’s felt anything, he feels a stirring within him. Tears start to fill his eyes, without him knowing and without his permission. The movie plays on and Daehyun watches.

  Daehyun quickly realizes, with panic rising, that he’s paralyzed and that the only thing he can do is watch. The doctor and nurses fuss about him and they’re activity do nothing to ease his anxiety. One of them finally comes over to jab the button at his finger frantically. The effect is unbelievably quick as Daehyun finds himself floundering into his subconscious. A different movie plays there; choppy and disorganized; Daehyun feels incredibly disoriented and only manages to pick up a few pictures – A fight, a dance, an accident, a wedding… pain.

Death.

  Himchan slumps into the couch. He can’t remember when he’d put the film on, only knowing that it’s playing yet again. It’s reflex, he guesses, to turn it on the moment he wakes up… or maybe he just didn’t turn it off.

He watches anyway, as two smiling faces stare back at him. They look so happy, as if they owned the world and before he knows it, he’s crying again. The tears slip down his cheeks, unrestrained and Himchan can’t help feeling the betrayal that comes over him.

He’d thought he was done crying. He’d thought he’d cried himself dry. Thought he had stopped feeling.

But then anger fills him. Along with pain and confusion. And regret and loneliness.

Himchan blinks away the tears and stands purposefully. He strides to his chest, rifling through his drawers carelessly until he finds what he’s looking for. Himchan stares at the weapon in his hand for a moment, wondering if this is really what it would take for all of it to go away.

He raises it, takes aim and fires right into the wall to wipe away those stupid smiles. Those stupid smiles that bear no meaning any longer, except to fill him with despair.

Himchan puts the gun against his head, feels the cold, unyielding steel bite into the skin at his temple.

Is this really what it takes? For all the pain to go away?

He fires.

Only one way to find out.

He falls.

  Daehyun watches, mesmerized, as the last of the grains fall from one bulb to the other. In the back of his mind, he marvels at it all. How fragile humans are. How flimsy the notion of love is.

The last grain of sand falls to land together with the rest and Daehyun reaches for the hourglass. He turns it over and watches as it starts all over again, with tears in his eyes.

  ---

  “You understand what you’re giving up? You understand what this means?”

The voice booms from above, under, left and right and Daehyun resists the urge to curl into a ball or to cover his ears at least. The darkness and sheer raw power in the room makes him tremble and a sob escapes his lips, but he nods anyway. He’s already made up his mind; didn’t need to think about it because he’d sworn he would do anything for you and he intended to keep that promise.

“Very well,” the voice says and at its words, Daehyun feels a scalding pain on his back.

A scream gurgles in his throat and he’s forced into a sprawl on the cold tiled floor. He writhes as the burning sensation spreads all over his skin and inside his lungs. Hot, painful tears drip down his face, joining his drool into a puddle on the floor. Daehyun grasps, frantically, for something to hold on to, but all he can do is scrape at the floor with his nails, filing them on the unforgiving marble. Daehyun passes out soon from the pain and when he wakes next, he’s greeted yet again by the voice.

“It’s over now,” it tells him.

Daehyun sits up tentatively, stretching and testing his limbs, which are now covered entirely in black. He arches his back and a sudden force pushes him forward, making him stumble. Bewildered, he turns to see what it is and his eyes widen impossibly.

Wings of black stretches from the middle of his back, just below his shoulder blades, and open up into two identical walls of majestic feathers. He flexes them with awe and they spread wider, wider than an arm’s length.

“Confusion, loneliness, regret, grief and despair. You are all of that. And they are all of you now. Wherever you are, so they will also be.”

Daehyun blinks with each word, the amazement from before gone and instead he somehow senses that something is amiss but he’s unable to place what it is. And then, almost like a glass being filled with water, Daehyun is filled with all kinds of pain. He gasps and is brought to his knees again as the feelings intensify, overwhelming him from within and coating him without.

The walls of darkness that surround him fall, a blinding brightness replacing it. Daehyun cringes from the light and in his confusion, he hears the voice one last time.

“That is your curse.”

[bapfiction-blog]

The Definition of Love

Happy New Year guys!! Here's to another year of Best, Absolute, Perfect-ness. I'm just rambling now cause it's pretty late and harhar \o/. Hope you guys like this. :))

You and Himchan have different views about romance and love.

----

Himchan cursed under his breath, folding up the umbrella and making a mad dash for the next tree instead. Rain was pouring down hard and fast now in contrast to the light drizzle when he had just started out. Himchan thanked his lucky stars that your apartment was only a short trek away from their dorms before setting out again, holding both hands above his head out of instinct.

He’s drenched to the bone by the time he enters the lobby of your building and draws odd looks from the security ahjussi. He flashes him a small smile as he passes, shrugging off the stares but unable to stop the shivering from the cold. Himchan snuggles down into his hoodie, bouncing impatiently in place as the elevator takes him to your floor.

He walks down the hallway to your unit, wrinkling his nose at the way his feet squelches in this wet socks and shows. He’s unable to tamp down his excitement, counting down the seconds it takes for you to answer the door and it takes all his will power to not jump on you the very second he sees you.

“Hey,” he says instead, smiling gleefully at the blatant surprise on your face. He pushes his way in before you can even gather your wits, eagerly toeing off his shoes and leaving wet footprints on your shiny tiled floors.

“Can I uhh… maybe get a nice, fluffy towel?” He asks with a bright smile and not a hint of shame in his voice.

You let out a noise of disbelief but don’t deny his request, crossing the small hallway into your bedroom to grab a towel from your dresser. You toss it onto his head and start to dry his hair and face.

“Shouldn’t you be at a party celebrating you right now?” You mutter under your breath. His head pops up from under the towel, megawatt smile making your hands still.

“Yeah, but I wanted to see you.” He answers, voice low and husky. He brings your hands down by your wrists and you barely notice how hard you’re holding on to the towel. He pulls you closer and presses a kiss to your lips. It’s just an anyday kiss that you both have shared about a million times now but there’s a certain way Himchan does it that still makes your heartbeat speed up and your head spin.

He pulls away all too soon and there’s a smug grin on his face as he watched you catch your breath.

“Aren’t you glad I decided to grace you with my presence?”

Heat floods your cheeks and you pull the towel over his face. Taking two steps back, you cross your arms in a belated reaction to his visit.

“You should be resting! You have another performance in two days!”

Himchan just grins back at you, only now realizing that you’re in one of his sweaters that he’d left here after one of his many overnight stays. Though he loves it when you dress up, hair and makeup done, he thinks he likes this better – you in your most comfortable clothes, hair up in a messy bun and warm from your shower.

He shrugs after an extended beat, still smiling and his eyes are twinkling with mirth when he steps forward to kiss your forehead.

“Yeah, but I really wanted to see you.”

He lets himself into your bathroom without so much as another word and your find yourself rooted at the spot, heart wavering with the simple sincerity of his words. The sound of the shower turning on shakes you out of your trance and you sigh in resignation. Returning to your bedroom, you retrieve his sweats and t-shirt, laying them out on your bed for him.

“Have you eaten?” You call, even though you know he hasn’t and you’re already at your fridge when he answers ‘not yet’, implication clear in his tone.

You pull out the mountain of leftovers that come with living alone and heat up what you can. You know you could easily whip up some instant ramyun or jajangmyun but you know Himchan likes this better – familiar and traditional.

Himchan appears just as you are pulling the dishes out of the microwave. He dumps his clothes into the dryer before making his way to you, settling in the chair opposite of yours.

“Mmm,” he rubs his hands together appreciatively before digging in and soon the only sounds in your house is his quiet chewing and your breathing. The near silence is comforting and you relish the peace it brings but you can’t help the words that tumble through your lips. “You know, you could catch a cold running around in the rain like that.”

Himchan doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look up from his food and seems unperturbed by your scolding but you both know better. You both know the words he holds back at the tip of his tongue and now the mood has changed imperceptibly to something a little less comfortable.

You’re not angry and only mildly worried but your source of discomfort comes from a much deeper place. Maybe it’s disapproval, that he would so nonchalantly risk so much just to see you. Or maybe it’s disbelief, that he would risk so much just to see you. Or maybe, you’re just not sure if you would do the same for him were your places reversed.

Before you realize it, Himchan is clearing out the last of his dinner. You rise to your feet too suddenly and your chair comes close to tipping over. The awful scraping sound of its legs against the floor makes you wince and when you look up, you see Himchan’s guarded gaze aimed at you.

Blushing now, you stack up all the plates, artfully avoiding his eyes by turning around to drop them into the sink. You hope he goes away, to watch tv or something and let you stew in your thoughts alone but he assumes his place next to you with a dishrag and so the two of you work together in silence - Washing and drying on autopilot and you’re glad for the distraction that the task provides.

But the reprieve doesn’t last long and soon, you’re draining the sink while Himchan just stares at you. Awkward silence blankets the both of you until he reaches over to wrap slim fingers around your wrist.

“I didn’t come here to have that argument.” He tells you, fingers stroking over your pulse absentmindedly. He’s smiling just the slightest and the look in his eyes is kind when he pulls you into your living room. He plops down onto your couch, pulling you with him so that you’re lying nestled in the curve of his body. “I just really wanted to see you.” He says into your hair and sighs contentedly.

You know in the way his body relaxes that he’s done with the subject but there’s something in his assuredness that bothers you. It niggles at you so much that you sit up frowning, making Himchan sigh. He knew this was coming even though he hadn’t explicitly mentioned it once tonight.

“How is it not just a vanity exercise? How is it not just plain bragging? And why is it expected of you to share every aspect of your life? As if you haven’t shared enough of it. Isn’t it enough for you to know that I love you, so very much? Why does that rest of the world have to know that too?”

Himchan is quiet all through your rant, being unusually calm and patient tonight. A small, secretive smile forms on his lips as he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear.

When he speaks, his words come steady and slow. “It’s not just a vanity exercise and it’s not just bragging. I love you. And I’m declaring that in front of everyone important in our lives. It’s showing my parents how much of a man I’ve become. How I’ve learned to love someone else the way they love each other. It’s promising the other boys that I will teach them how to respect and honor a woman as the precious being she is and also as an equal. It’s how I will always be reminded to be the man worthy of everyone’s love and support by passing on that very same thing.”

Himchan watches you closely as his words sink in, his smile never once disappearing. “It’s alright, you know.” He says at last when you don’t speak.

“You come from a different end of the aisle. You think differently and that’s all right. I still love you. And I know you care too much to use that word lightly but I do love you. I knew the moment I saw you, I knew even more so after our first midnight coffee session, and even more after that each time I saw you. I love you, I love you, I do. So don’t stress and just think about it, okay?”

You blink at his face, only nodding slowly after a beat but that seems to satisfy Himchan as he pulls you in for another kiss and then tucks your head under his chin.

You do think about it. You’re thinking about it when you fall asleep caught in his arms and his sturdy warmth.

You think about it when he shakes you up too early in the morning. Pressing yet another kiss to your lips with promises to call you later.

You think about it all throughout the following days. You think about courage versus fear. And you think about love and romance.

You think about all the ways that Himchan has been the very definition of love to you.

It takes a few phone calls and much more courage than you thought you had. But two days later, you find yourself in a poufy short dress, hair done up and make up on. A black van picks you up from your apartment building at 12a.m and shuttles you down to the T.S offices. A friendly staffer shows you into a meeting room that has been turned into a party venue. There’s cake and some helium balloons and more friendly people that shoot you smiles and nods at you.

And when he comes in minutes later with about 15 other people, your eyes find his first. Your smile goes to him first. And your hands meet his first when he comes over to link your fingers together.

It’s a whirlwind; you meet about 30 people in the couple of hours, your legs are straining in your heels and you’re pretty sure your makeup has melted all over your face.

But you’re still happy. Because when Himchan hugs you to his chest and whispers a quiet ‘thank you’ in your ear, you realize that it’s all worth it. Even when you think about how you’re going to be meeting so many more people in the coming weeks and that they might hate you or curse you or think you’re plain not good enough, it’s all worth it in the end. This love, is worth it.

[bapfiction-blog]

If Only You Knew

I couldn't not write this after these pictures. He looks so darn good. /drools

Yongguk is running for president and has enough things to worry about without having to worry about your safety too!

----

You try not to stare at your newest charge for too long but it’s proving to be a difficult task. He looks his absolute best today, in his black turtleneck and warm tweed coat- perfect for his outdoor speech in the cold Korean winter. Not to mention, his also wearing his most winning smile as he cuddles a lucky toddler to his chest. The sounds of several camera shutters go off and he laughs good-naturedly before handing the child back to her mother.

He waves to the rest of the crowd and grabs as many hands as he can as he walks the rest of the carpet back to the motorcade. You follow, finally taking your eyes off him and scanning the crowd for any sign of a threat. His baritone voice calling your name makes you snap to attention and you see him signaling for you to get into the car with him.

You keep your frustration below surface level as you follow him in. The door closes shut behind you and you shoot him a questioning look. He rolls his eyes at your innocent mask, “did you see anything or anyone dangerous out there?”

You turn away, training your eyes on the crowd outside, “no, sir.”

You don’t see it but you feel him rolling his eyes again, “then maybe it’s time we dropped this charade that I’m an important person you have to protect with your life?”

You swallow the indignant protest that bubbles up in your throat and turn back to narrow your eyes at him.

“With all due respect, sir, you are a presidential candidate and a frontrunner to electoral race. If everything goes well, and I know they will, you’ll be Korea’s next president so maybe it’s time you dropped the charade that you’re just an average Joe when everyone in this country knows you’re not!”

You can’t help raising your voice; you’ve been through this argument ever since you were assigned to him and he’s still not letting up. An awkward silence hangs in the air after your outburst but you don’t regret your words, only that you let your anger get the best of you. You clench your fists and hope that he doesn’t get you reassigned for overstepping bounds.

He sighs tiredly at long last, nodding slowly, “alright… I get it.” He turns to face you and then as if a switch has been hit, his voice turns stiff when he thanks you and waves you out.

You get out as per his orders, entering your own car behind his and you take off. One of your colleagues asks politely if anything is wrong but you just shake your head. As wrong and unprofessional as it is, your feud with Yongguk is a personal one.

Bang Yongguk, presidential candidate and South Korea’s next president (you just know it in your bones), also your best friend since 5th grade after you beat up some schoolyard bullies who were trying to steal his lunch money. Currently, he’s also the number one complainer about your choice of profession. He’d always thought becoming a member of the blue house’s security department was beneath you, as if he hadn’t given up the offer to become director of some top American firm to do the work of his country.

You huff into your office, raging inwardly about the unfairness of it all. Why couldn’t he understand that you felt the same sense of duty that he did only in a different manner? You had always been good at sports and after seeing your father at work in this very position, you had decided that no other path would satisfy you. You squeeze the bridge of your nose in an attempt to calm yourself down. You could only hope that Yongguk would come to the same understanding soon and stop bothering you about this.

  He doesn’t, as you soon find out when you race into his office just a few days later. He’s startled by your urgency but when he catches sight of the papers in your hands, he asks lightheartedly, “aah, come to hand in your resignation papers?”

You scowl at him, “now isn’t the time for jokes, sir.”

The head of the security department clears his throat, “you’ve got a death threat, Mr.Bang.” He lays the printouts of e-mails and various anti-government websites that speak of vicious plots against Yongguk’s life.

Yongguk lifts an eyebrow as he glances across the info and the director continues, “we’ll be upping your security, sir. And until these guys have been caught, we hope you’ll refrain from outdoor events.”

There’s a frown etched into Yongguk’s forehead even as he nods in resignation. “Very well, we’ll do what you think is best, director Kim. Thank you.”

He signals for the director to leave and when you start to follow, he calls you back, waiting deliberately for the door to be shut before he speaks to you.

“Don’t you think now is about the right time to send in your resignation?”

Anger flashes through your veins at his words and you grit your teeth. “No, sir. In fact, I think now is about the right time to see if I can move faster than a bullet,” you answer acerbically.

He laughs, voice strained as he turns away from you and busies himself with the folders on the shelf behind him. “You’re being a little dramatic, don’t you think?” He asks quietly.

Another spark of anger flashes through you and you feel tears prick the back of your eyelids despite yourself. “I don’t think so, sir. I’m merely doing my duty, as I always have. I do, however, think you’re being a very big jackass. And if you really want me out, then you’d do well to go against the orders of the director because nothing short of a bullet is going to make me leave!”

You storm out before he gets a word in edgewise, not caring in the least if you’d crossed a line because he did it first. What’s more, you think you might actually cry if you had stayed in there any longer. It hurt that Yongguk had asked you directly to quit and even more that he didn’t even have a good reason to. And even though it isn’t supposed to, it hurt even more that you were friends. You lock yourself in a bathroom stall, allowing yourself a couple of minutes to reign your emotions in again before getting back to work. You had to prove your self and your worth if you wanted Yongguk off your back.

  Your exclamation seems to have work as Yongguk spends the final stretch of his campaigning indoors. He doesn’t stray too far into the crowd like before and still manages to look likable with his gummy smile and infectious laugh. He loves the people and that sincerity shines through across podiums and velvet line barriers and today was the perfect example of that.

Yongguk delivers his final lines and begins to wrap up his speech while you scan the crowd. Today’s event has drawn many into the stuffy high school gymnasium and you want to make sure that you don’t miss anything. Your eyes go from one corner of the square to the other, scanning every face for any possible threats. They lock onto a young man with his head shaven when it happens.

The glass of a high window to your right is blown from its pane, shattering into a million tiny pieces and raining down on you. There is chaos within seconds as people scramble- citizens running, trying to get out and agents rushing to do their jobs. You don’t remember making the decision to, but you dive for Yongguk, pushing him down as a second bullet sails through the newly made hole in the wall.

You land on your elbow and you hear a loud crunch. A jolt of pain travels up your arm all the way to your head. You grimace but sit up, cradling your arm to you and leaning on your hip as you pat Yongguk down.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” You both ask, voices and concern overlapping. He looks at your arm worriedly but you ignore him and slip your good hand up his sides, breathing a sigh of relief when you find no blood. He frowns at you and you can tell that he’s angry but before he can say anything more, two other agents are by his side. They lift him easily and put him into a car. Another comes for you, helping you up and into another car.

The mess is swiftly organized and information starts to trickle in slowly. The shooters were from the North and had been unhappy with some of the things Yongguk had to say about national security that they targeted him. Luckily, the group was small and had had very little training. They were shot and killed by the agents on site within seconds and no one at the event had been hurt save from some scrapes and bruises.

Later, an agent drops by the infirmary to confirm that Yongguk is also unharmed and you heave a big sigh of relief when you hear the news. The doctor smiles up at you when he hears it, “well, I guess that makes you the biggest victim of today’s happening.”

You give him a sheepish smile that in turn makes him chuckle. “You’re in luck too, nothing’s broken, just a dislocated elbow and a sprained wrist.” He gets to fixing your arm, putting your elbow back into place with a painful push and then wrapping up your wrist. You thank your lucky stars for the umpteenth time today that dislocated joints were something you were used to and that the pain wasn’t as bad.

The doctor makes you stay as he goes off to get more supplies but when the door opens next, it’s Yongguk that you see entering.

You straighten up at the sight of him, “sir?”

He doesn’t respond and you trace his line of sight back to your bandaged arm. You deflate, pulling your arm into your tummy, wishing desperately that you could hide it now.

“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly and you perk up. A pair of sad eyes meets your surprised ones and makes them grow wider.

“I know I hurt you before, with the things I’ve said,” he explains. You’re speechless so you blink at him, bewildered.

He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a noise of frustration before taking a step towards you. “It’s just… you’ve always been protecting me. You’re always the stronger one and you’re just- you’re always… there- here, with me.”

His frown deepens, the creases in his forehead multiplying and he looks so much more tired now that he has put down pretenses. He swallows loudly before continuing, taking another step forward, “and now, thinking that you might… that I might lose you. And because of me. It drives me nuts.”

He’s standing right in front of you now and this up close, at this height, you can’t help but look at his lips. So full and looking so soft. How would they feel against yours? You blink and force yourself to look up, but you see that his eyes are also drawn to your lips. You look away quickly, wishing you could erase the images in your head. Of his lips and of his eyes. He brings as hand up and you feel his fingertips on your cheek. Sparks of electricity unfurl with his touch, spreading along your jaw and deep down into the recesses of your heart.

“Look at me,” he whispers and his low voice makes you shiver. You steel yourself and look up, the mixture of desire and sadness in his eyes almost knocking you over. He steps forward again, coming incredibly close and it’s too much, too sudden. You back away, saying his name in a startled breath but he kisses that away with his lips on yours and all those emotions from years and years ago come flooding through you.

You feel as if your entire body is on fire and every little touch of his is a flame blazing through the walls you had built up. It’s tender and rough in a way that only Yongguk can manage and when you break apart, it’s as if the life has been sucked out of him. He slumps over you, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

His hand slips down your back to rest on your waist while the other lay by his side, unmoving. “I know it’s what you want and I know how hard you’ve worked for it. But knowing that your job is to jump in front of a bullet aimed at me is- is torture.”

He pulls back, breath ragged and agony plain in his eyes. It makes your breath catch; never in a million years would you have expected this.

“I-I’ll be careful, I promise.” You say, even though you know it’s not enough to put him at ease.

Still, he nods and carefully wraps his arms around you, being mindful of your injuries. “Please,” he pleads, making you nod vigorously into his shoulder. You rub down his back until you feel him press a kiss to your neck and then several more at your jawline.

“Please be careful,” he exhorts as he claims your lips once more. “I love you,” he tells you in between kisses and you respond in kind, drawing him closer; repaying him for his worry with attentiveness and gentleness. Letting all your previously hidden love show freely.

[bapfiction-blog]

Try

Umm hi... remember me? hurr. Sorry for my absence, I'm really trying. :'(

----

You fidget with your fingers under the table as you watch him down your soup with gusto. Any other day, this would be a happy time- one of those rare times you get to spend with him. Yet, today you were just about dying from nervousness and fear. It has taken you 3 long and agonizing weeks to come to this decision but in the end, you were sure you have made the right one.

You look across the table at him; at his wide, goofy smile that you had fallen in love with in the first place and your heart breaks again. The anxiousness must show on your face, because his smile fades and slowly turns into alarm.

“What’s wrong? Y-yah, what’s with that face?”

You squeeze your eyes shut and breath in deep. If you didn’t tell him now, you’d never be able to do it. Opening your eyes again, you let it fly, your voice sounding too loud as your confession bounces against the walls.

“I slept with someone else.”

You watch his smile reappear slowly on his lips and he chuckles, “yah, even as a joke, that’s too much.”

You can only stare back at him; a huge lump suddenly lodged in your throat, stopping any sort of explanation or answer. You try to swallow, but it hurts too much so you watch helplessly as his expression changes again. You see the recognition forming in his eyes and realization filtering through his brain. It takes a long while, because he has never expected this.

He puts his spoon down next to his bowl and lets out a small laugh. “You’re not joking. This- this isn’t a dumb trick from the boys. You- you sl-” He chokes on his words and looks away.

“Himchan-ah,” you call his name even though you know there’s no way to make him calm down. No way to retract what you’ve just confessed even if you wanted to.

He lets out another bitter laugh before looking back at you, his expression nothing short of livid. “Why?” Is all he asks and you wonder where to start. How do you defend yourself? What excuse can you give him that would satisfy either of you?

Still, the words pour out, because you have to try.

“I- It’s- you’re never around and I know it’s not an excuse but there are times I feel like I’m the only one holding on to this relationship. And- and I start to wonder if you’ve ever loved me or if it’s just me being delusional. I know how hard you try, I really do! But there are times when it’s hard on me too!”

The tears start to pour down your face and no matter how hard you try, they don’t go away. This isn’t how you’d imagined things to go, you had sworn to be strong and you’d prepared yourself for his anger. Shouting, screaming and breaking things but instead, his face has turned stony and he doesn’t say a single word. So you take another deep breath before doing the only thing you can do- apologize.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Himchan, I really am. I didn’t mean for it to happen and it didn’t mean anything.”

You stare back into his eyes with all your sincerity, steeling yourself to not look away under his hard glare. You had never meant to end things. You love Himchan and though things got difficult sometimes, they aren’t enough to make you want to give up what you two had.

“Fine,” he says with a nod, voice dripping with acid, “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I’ve made things difficult. I know- I know my schedule isn’t… ideal. I just didn’t know you hated it this much.”

“Himchan, I-” Your voice breaks but it’s okay because you didn’t know what to say anyway.

He looks up at you and that little bit of sadness in his eyes makes your breath catch in your throat.

“And I’m sorry you felt like you were the only one holding up this relationship… I never meant for you to feel that way.”

You shake your head to refute his words but nothing comes out from your mouth. Himchan turns away anyway, grabbing his overnight bag and is out the door before you can find your voice.

You stand in the middle of your small dining hall, as the weight of your deed and words come crashing down on you like a ton of bricks. He’s gone. Maybe forever. You crumple to the floor, gasping for air and sobbing noisily like a child. You had expected this. Himchan didn’t forgive easily; he valued trust above all else and you had betrayed his all too easily. Still, you stood by your decision to tell him the truth.

Still, none of it prepared you for the pain.

You ball into a fetus position and let your agony take over, crying yourself to sleep on your cold tiled floor.

----

Himchan is more than angry. Weeks later and still this whirlpool of emotions swirls low in his stomach, making him sick. Betrayal, anger and disappointment. Everyday is a living hell as he’s constantly being tugged between hating you and hating himself. He can tell the boys are getting sick of him and he doesn’t blame them- He’s starting to get sick of himself too. He’s sick of the moping and the anger that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what he does.

He’s so angry with you. So angry at the fact you could just so easily throw away the love you had cultivated over the last year. Hates that you had so easily made a fool of him and all his efforts to keep the two of you together. Hates that no matter what he did, he still sees you everywhere in his miserable life.

“Himchan-ah,” Yongguk’s deep voice calls from the living area. “She sent more.”

Himchan rolls over in his bed and draws the covers over his head. He’s just not up for a conversation today. Not about you and not with Yongguk.

Still, he feels a weight settle next to him and his mattress dips down with it. “Yah, shouldn’t you at least call her?”

Himchan doesn’t answer, holding his breath when he hears a sigh in response to his silence.

“Well, come have some of the soup at least.”

The weight lifts and Himchan hears the door creak shut. He bites down hard on his lips, willing the tears away and falls into yet another fitful sleep.

  Himchan doesn’t have any of the soup despite Youngjae’s constant nagging. When he finally comes out of his cocoon, stumbling groggily into the kitchen, he finds that it’s all gone anyway; empty container already washed and laid on the counter. Beside it, many other similar ones are stacked into a lopsided pyramid. Probably the work of one of the maknaes who’ve gotten bored.

The sight of them all gets Himchan’s blood boiling again. Why do you keep sending him things? Food, funny pictures, messages that tell him to take care of himself. In a fit, Himchan finds a huge bag and scoops up all the food containers into it. Not bothering to change out of his t-shirt and sweats, he storms out, slamming the door behind him.

It’s already 7p.m but Himchan knows you must still be at work. He races to your office building, cursing at the after work traffic. How is it that he both needed to see you so bad and yet loathes the mere sound of your voice at the same time? By the time he gets to your floor on the building, he’s out of breath, heart and mind racing; this is the first time he’s seeing you after that night in your apartment.

He spots you quickly and stalks across the hallway, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to where he knows your office is. He dumps the contents of his bag onto your desk and before you get a word in, levels a glare at you.

“Why are you doing this?”

You blink, taking in all the containers, thinking of all the time you had spent cooking. At least they were empty.

“I didn’t eat any of it.” Himchan says, reading your relief right away.

You start to protest but he cuts you off by demanding again. “Why are you doing this?”

You stare back at him. Seeing his beautiful face twisted in anger like this makes the regret and guilt flood you once more.

“I didn’t mean for us to end. I- when I told you, I didn’t mean to lose you.”

He scoffs loudly, but you ignore him and will yourself to go on. “I told you because you needed to know. I told you because I wanted to be able to look you in the eye when we talk across the dinner table.  I want us to grow from this and-”

You see him shaking his head, refusing your words and you yell at him. “Damn it Himchan, I want to be worth the trust you put in me!”

You’re breathing hard as well by now, face already a few shades redder than before. Agitated and frustrated, the sudden, muffled ringing from inside Himchan’s pocket startles you.

You brake away from his stare and look towards the floor to hide the tears creeping up behind your eyelids. “You should take that.”

Himchan pulls out his phone and the ringing is amplified within your office but he hears a small voice in his head.

‘People change.’

Yongguk had said that in one of his attempts to pull Himchan out of his funk and Himchan had resented the words, thinking of how you’ve changed and how your love for him must have too. But now looking at his phone, he’s reminded of the many times he’s had to leave you for phone calls like this. A dinner here, a movie there and so many coffee dates; how many times has he bailed out on you before?

Himchan was a romanticist. He loved the idea of love. Celebrated the fact that he’d found it when he met you. So when did all that passion burn out? Where along the lines did he stop loving?

The realization hit him hard, and tears formed in his eyes. He opens his mouth, only to snap it shut again when he notices that you’ve already left the room. Himchan snaps, spurring into action. He shuts off his phone and chases after you, slipping his hand into yours and spins you around to face him.

“Come with me.” He says with conviction and you see that he’s holding your handbag in his other hand. Without giving you time to say anything, he leads you down and takes you to the nearby park, where you’ve had so many dates before.

The cool air is bracing and does well to clear both your heads, so you’re both silent, wrapped up in your respective thoughts. After many beats, you tug on his hand that’s still holding on to yours.

“You might not believe me, but I do still love you,” you whisper. You look up to check for any reaction but his face is turned away from you, shielded in the shadows that surround you.

Silence blankets you both until he finally lets out a sigh and then turns around to face you. “I believe you. I- I do.”

A little spark of hope within you comes alive at his words and you spring up eagerly. “I’ll try hard, Himchan-ah, I promise I will.”

He looks up then, scanning your face with concentration. “We both will,” he says shortly, bringing his hand up to brush your stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry too, it- this wasn’t all your fault. And we’ll both try harder.”

You nod, fresh tears springing up. He smiles with sadness and relief before pulling you into his arms, holding you for the first time in too long.

“I love you.” He whispers shakily in your ear and you can only nod into his chest, wrapping your arms tight around his waist, determined to never let him slip out of your hands again.

[bapfiction-blog]

Hi guys, I'm feeling really down about my writing and I'm starting to really hate myself. Any words of encouragement? :'(

[bapfiction-blog]

Pocket!Jae Drabble #1

Inspired by this and conversations with Minnie. ^^ All you guys who sent me messages, I'm working on them!

--

Youngjae lugs the toy mouse across the hall, panting tiredly as the squeaky toy proves a little too heavy for his tiny body. Youngjae is persistent if anything though and manages to drag it all the way to the door of the metal cage.

The snow-white kitten inside perks up at the appearance of Youngjae and the toy. The slight movement makes Youngjae smile widely- it was as if all his tiredness had suddenly faded away. He gives himself a mental fist pump and with renewed energy, pushes the mouse closer to the door of the cage.

He climbs onto the toy so that he is level with the catch. Brows furrowed in concentration, Youngjae gathers all his strength and lifts the latch. The door swings open and bumps the mouse, making Youngjae lose his balance and he tumbles to the floor. But the fall doesn’t faze him in light of his success and he picks himself right up. He walks up to the open door of the cage and smiles shyly at the kitten.

“Hey… I- my name is Youngjae… Annyeong…” He lifts up a hand to wave at the kitten, which blinks owlishly at him.

He takes a tentative step forward, extending one arm towards the kitten when it suddenly hisses. Alarmed, Youngjae steps back quickly, waving both hands in front of his body frantically.

“No, wait! I won’t hurt you!” He cries but is ignored as the little cat glowers at him and crouches into an attacking stance.

Youngjae stumbles backwards and is nearly in tears when the kitten finally strikes. He scrambles to hide, pushing his little legs to run as fast as they could across the tiled floor. He crawls into the small gap between two wooden shelves that, thankfully, is too small for the kitten to squeeze into. Youngjae presses his hands to his chest, breathing heavy and heart pounding from the fear and physical exertion.

The kitten gives Youngjae one last glare through the gap before slinking off and Youngjae lets out a breath of relief. He brings his knees up and wraps his arms around them, feeling the tears prick at the corner of his eyes. His lips are trembling when he hears Daehyun coming in, calling his name.

“Daehwunnie?” Youngjae calls back in his tiny voice, sniffling a little. He sees Daehyun’s black work shoes stop in front of the shelf and he calls again, “Daehwunnie!”

The tears finally spill over when Daehyun crouches down and Youngjae can see the concern written all over his face.

“Youngjae? Are you okay? You’re not hurt?”

Youngjae runs onto Daehyun’s extended hand, clutching the boy’s forefinger to his body.

“I’m sowwie!” Youngjae sobs into his hands and Daehyun sighs, stroking at the tiny boy’s hair with his other finger.

“I told you it’s dangerous to go near the cats, Youngjae.” Daehyun reprimands the younger lightly while still rubbing his back gently.

“I know…” Youngjae replies, rubbing his fists over his face to dry his tears. “I just thought since she was tiny she wuld want to be fwiends wif me.”

Daehyun frowns at Youngjae’s words- he knows the other boy is often lonely when he had to work and Youngjae has always loved cats more than any other animals so he’d try to make friends with them. Youngjae is kind and generous and is more than willing to share all his toys with the felines so Daehyun’s heart breaks for him every time one of them tries to claw at the defenseless boy.

Daehyun sighs again before brushing the sticky hair off Youngjae’s forehead, “Youngjae-ah, you know I love you and I want to keep you safe right?”

Youngjae nodded and Daehyun continued, “So you understand why I forbid you to go near the cats?”

Youngjae hangs his head, sorry that he had disobeyed Daehyun, and nods again.

“Then I need you to promise that you won’t try again until I tell you to.”

Daehyun holds out his pinky finger and Youngjae touches the tip of his own to it after a moment of hesitation. “I pwomise, Daehyunnie. I’m sowwie I didn’t wisten to you.”

Daehyun smiles gently at the other boy, “it’s okay Youngjae-ah, I forgive you. Now let’s go home and have some barbecued meat okay?”

Youngjae smiles back and nods enthusiastically and the two of them set out on their way home after Daehyun locks up the shop. Daehyun straps the tiny boy into his custom made seat on his bike and they whizz along the streets back to Daehyun’s apartment complex.

When they finally get to Daehyun’s apartment, Daehyun clears his throat to speak up.

“Jae-ah, would you like to go get changed first, before we have dinner?”

Youngjae frowns at Daehyun’s odd question but the nervous and over-eager look Daehyun has on his face stops him from asking any questions and he plays along.

“…Okay Daehwunnie…let me down at my hwouse.”

Daehyun’s smile is almost blinding when he bursts into his own room, taking excited steps to where Youngjae’s dollhouse sits on his dresser. Youngjae casts the other a strange look until he sees a little metal cage sitting next to his house. His eyes grow wide and he gulps, tripping on his tiny feet when Daehyun let him down.

He looks back at Daehyun with a questioning look, “Daehwunnie?”

“I know it’s not a cat, but rabbits are tamer… and I thought it would make a better pet for now… do you like it?”

Youngjae turns back to look at the white fluffy bunny and tears start to form in his eyes again, “I wove it! Is it really mine? I- I can touch it?”

Daehyun laughs at Youngjae’s reaction and nods, “mm! It’s a he and he’s all yours! I’ll help you feed him and I’ll need to supervise you but you can touch him and play with him as much as you want.”

Youngjae has to bite his lips to keep the tears from flowing down as he runs to hug Daehyun’s finger. “Thank chu Daehwunnie! I wove chu!”

Daehyun laughs again and presses a soft kiss to Youngjae’s crown, “I love you too, Youngjae-ah. So much!’

[bapfiction-blog]

MY FIRST FOLLOW FOREVER?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Thank you!! ♥♥

So I hit 1k followers last month I think, but I never actually got around to making a decent post for it ;___;

this isn’t even decent idk how to make graphics or anything so all you get is this shitty list

So here’s my first follow forever ^^ italics are my favorite senpais.

...

[bapfiction-blog]

Hi everyone! So sorry for not being around lately! I've been really preoccupied and fell into a slump with my writing. I'm slowly getting it together again and I really hope to be writing more now. Thank you for being patient and for your messages! ♥♥♥

I also got a twitter account, so come say hi @yoopabo!

[bapfiction-blog]

Pocket Dae Drabble

Credit for original idea: ♡

I only wrote this because Fuji told me to. D: (She also coached me in the cute-speak cause I'm not cute enough to have it inbuilt ):)

~

“Yah, Jung Daehyun, let go!”

“Nuu! I’m not letting chu go without me.” Daehyun shouted back petulantly as he held on to Youngjae’s forefinger.

Youngjae narrowed his eyes at the pocket Daehyun and gave him a low warning. “Jung Daehyun, let go of me now.”

Daehyun glared back at the other boy before slipping down reluctantly onto the wooden floor of his dollhouse. His lips jutted out in a pout and he had to blink the oncoming tears away.

“Fine, l-leave me here all a-awone again. See if I care.” He sniffled as he stomped into his tiny bedroom, regretting the fact that he didn’t have a door to slam. He settled for burying himself under his covers instead.

Youngjae sighed and poked at the little Daehyun ball gently, “come on, Daehyun, you know you don’t mean that.”

He stroked Daehyun’s back through the covers and tried to urge him out, “Daehyun-ah, I’ll be back before you know it. Just come out and say goodbye?”

Youngjae bit his lips and sighed again when Daehyun didn’t respond. “Fine, goodbye Daehyun. I’ll be back before dinner. Rest well.”

Daehyun chewed at the insides of his cheeks to keep from making a sound as he heard Youngjae shuffle out and closed the door behind him. He hated fighting with Youngjae because he knew how much the other boy loved him and how much he constantly sacrifices to take care of him.

But he really couldn’t help it this time. Youngjae had worn his best suit, which meant that he was going to some fancy event… or even a date. Daehyun kicked the covers off and scowled – it had to be that Zelo guy from his company. He wasn’t all the good looking, being freakishly tall and gangly limbs everywhere, but he was cute.

And Youngjae had a thing for cute stuff.

Daehyun kicked his bedside table angrily (and a little jealously), “stwupid Yoo Youngjae.”

  It was almost 2 hours later when Youngjae got back and when he went to check on Daehyun, the little boy was asleep in his bed. Youngjae smiled to himself at how cute he looked curled up in his sheets and hair splayed over his pillow.

He nudged the boy, gently waking him up, his heart aching a little to see the dried up tear streaks on Daehyun’s face.

“Daehyun-ah? Daehyun-ah, it’s time to wake up.”

Daehyun stirred and rubbed his hand over his eyes, “Youngjae? Chur back?”

Youngjae smiled and hummed, “mm, I promised didn’t I?”

Daehyun didn’t smile back and he didn’t try to climb up Youngjae like he normally would. Instead he sat at his bedside and picked at his covers.

Youngjae cocked his head to the side, “is something wrong, Daehyunnie?”

Daehyun didn’t dare look up at Youngjae, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. “I’m sowwie. For shouting at chu just now. I just-“

Youngjae smiled as he lifted the tiny boy with his palm, “it’s okay Daehyun-ah, I know you get lonely. And I’m sorry I have to leave you alone sometimes… that’s why I prepared a surprise for you today.”

Youngjae started walking out of his room, as Daehyun’s eyes grew wide.

“Chu pwepared a shurprise for me?” He squeaked.

Youngjae nodded, the corners of his eyes creasing as he smiled. He walked into the dining room and let tiny Daehyun jump of his palm onto the dining table.

Daehyun’s mouth hung open as his eyes swept over the huge spread before him. There was everything he loved – chicken, Korean beef, freshly cooked rice with fried tofu, chocolate ice cream and basically everything but the kitchen sink.

He looked back up at Youngjae, eyes shining with grateful tears. “Youngjae, I- thank you, for everything…” Daehyun went and wrapped his tiny arms around Youngjae’s fingers, “I wove chu, Youngjae.”

Youngjae chuckled at the boy and stroked at his hair, “I know, I love Daehyunnie too. Now go eat, before the food gets cold.”

Daehyun shot Youngjae another grateful look before going back to the food, literally not knowing where to start. After a moment of hesitating, Daehyun finally sat down and took a bite of the soft tofu.

“Yumm! This is sooo gwooood Youngjae!”

Youngjae couldn’t hold back at the other boy’s delight and the room was filled with the sound of laughter. Daehyun enjoyed his food and Youngjae kept watch over him, and the spent their night happily together.

[bapfiction-blog]

do u think daehyun would date someone 4-9 years younger than him? haah i dont know if u do this kinda stuff but... just wondering

Who knows? He might! ^^ truthfully I can only see all the B.A.P members dating younger girls (despite what they say) and as you grow older, the age gap will grow smaller and less apparent :)  p.s.: all my followers are welcome to talk to me about anything, so don’t hesitate to send me any kind of message :) ♥♥

[bapfiction-blog]

Just sat for my final final paper. I just can't express how relieved and happy I am right now. I'm done with uni!

[bapfiction-blog]

Manhwa be Damned

Jongup's ideal type: Someone I would look at even if my manhwa is interesting. ♡  ♡   How much cuter can this kid get?

*

Jongup looks down at the manhwa in his hands and realizes that he has been reading the same page for about 20 minutes now. To be quite honest, he can’t even remember the last 15 pages he had read.

Jongup couldn’t help the grin that spreads across his lips as he glances back at you sitting at the desk. For the past 2 hours, he’s been sitting around waiting for you to finish that pesky report you have due tomorrow and oddly enough, he found he didn’t mind that very much at all.

He had known you would take a long time, considering how much of a perfectionist you are, and so he’d brought a whole stack of comics to entertain himself with. But unknowingly, he had spent almost the entire time just looking at you and smiling like an idiot.

He didn’t know what it was, but there is just something very alluring about you. Something that makes him want to just look at you and do nothing else… even if you are just staring at a screen with a scowl on your face like you do now.

Jongup couldn’t hold back his giggle even if he wanted to and the small sound catches your attention. You whip around and frown at your boyfriend, who is stretched out on your couch, forgotten comic in his lap and crinkled eyes staring back at you.

“Moon Jongup, did you just laugh at me?”

His eyes grow wide at your angry tone and he stammers to answer you. “Uh… um… I was, yeah? You looked funny…”

Your frown deepens at his words. You are already frustrated with the assignment, trying your hardest to finish it as quickly as possible so you could finally spend time with him even though you are dead tired after missing out on so much sleep.

You feel tears prick painfully at the corners of your eyes and you stand up angrily, “thanks, Jongup, but you didn’t have to tell me that, I’m very well aware that I look like a mess right now.”

Alarmed, Jongup springs up, throwing the book aside and running to stop you before you could get away.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way!”

You narrow your eyes at him but don’t pull away. “Then what did you mean?”

“I meant you looked…cute. Like… Like I could stare at you forever.”

There is a hint of a blush on his cheeks and you definitely feel yours heating up as well. If it had been anyone else, you would have chalked it up as mere flattery but Jongup is possibly the most straight forward person you know and you have no doubt he is telling you how he truly feels, straight from his heart.

It is his turn to frown as he looks back at your computer screen, thinking hard for a way to help you.

“Maybe… maybe you could take a break?” He tries, looking back at you somewhat helplessly.

“A break?” You repeat, an inevitable smile already tugging at your lips. No matter how hard you try, you could never stay angry with your boyfriend for longer than a few minutes.

“Like a nap, or something…” He trails off, eyebrows drawn and looking quite upset at himself.

You can’t help but smile at his sweetness and reach up to pull at his collar, guiding his head down so that his lips meet yours. You take your time, kissing him slow and deep, loving the way his breath hitches and the little moans that come from his throat.

You pull back when you feel your lungs screaming for air and it delights you to see your boyfriend staring back at you with dazed eyes. He’s breathing hard as well and his already plump bottom lip looks a tiny bit swollen.

“A break like that?” You whisper, grinning mischievously at him.

“Umm… y-yeah. Like that.” He blinks a couple of times, as if to clear his head before he could even comprehend what you were saying.

Your smile grows wider as you pull him backwards into your bedroom.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a break.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t hurt,” he echoes with a dreamy smile, leaning down to claim your lips in a soul searing kiss, not stopping for a moment even as he kicks the door shut with a foot.

[bapfiction-blog]

Just Like a Child

Pure Daehyun fluff, because I can.

You hear the front door unlocking and you can’t help the smile that forms on your lips. Soon enough, a pair of hands is winding around your waist and you feel the familiar body heat enveloping you.

“Tiring day?” You ask, needlessly. He nods without a word and his chin digs into your shoulder.

“Well, dinner’s almost ready. Go wash up and then we can eat.”

Your boyfriend shakes his head, nose brushing your neck with the motion.

“I’m lazy today,” he says tiredly and you can already imagine the pout on his lips.

“So you’re not even gonna wash up?” You ask incredulously.

“Mm, I want you to do it for me.”

You laugh and push him off gently, “you want me to bathe you?”

He doesn’t look at you, busying himself with setting the table instead and saying, “mm, but we gotta eat first, so hurry up.”

He carries the dishes into the dining area and sits himself at the table before looking over expectantly at you.

“What are you doing? The dishes are gonna go cold.”

“Ookay,” you say, still apprehensive but going over to sit with him anyway.

He smiles brightly at you as you start on your dinner but just as you are lifting a piece of meat into your mouth, he intercepts you with his chopsticks.

You look up at him in surprise and your eyes grow wider to see him with his mouth open.

“Aah.”

“Yah, Jung Daehyun, are you sick?”

His mouth snaps shut and he frowns at you, “can’t I get my girlfriend to just feed me a mouth of my dinner?”

It’s your turn to frown but before you get to say a word, he already has his mouth open and is nudging you with his chopsticks again.

You cautiously place the meat in his mouth and he gobbles it up happily.

“Mm, dewicious! Thanks, yeobo.”

“Yeobo? Daehyun, is something wrong?” You ask, wondering at your boyfriend’s newfound ease at displaying affection.

He looks up at you innocently, “nope, nothing. Why do you ask?”

You shake your head quietly and dinner resumes with some sense of normalcy as he tells you about his day.

When you finish, he stands by your side, drying the dishes while you wash them and when that’s done, he leads you into the bathroom, tugging eagerly at your hand despite your protests.

“Daehyun, are you serious? Do you really expect me to wash your face for you?”

“Yes,” he answers stoutly, pouting indignantly before adding, “and my hair.”

You laugh, taken aback by his attempt at aegyo but agree to his ridiculous request anyway. You push his face away, still chuckling, “fine, fine, let me just change into something else first alright.”

He grins and releases you happily but that smile is replaced with a look of surprise instead when he see you walking in wearing one of his oversized t-shirts.

 “It’s comfy,” you explain. “And besides, I won’t care that much if it gets wet.”

You expect him to get a little upset at that but he just shrugs, “hmm, whatever, as long as you’re washing my face.”

His smile is blinding as he lifts you up and places you on the bathroom counter next to the sink. The smile doesn’t go away even after he closes his eyes and sticks his head out at you and you can only laugh at the entire situation.

You get to work, figuring there was no harm in spoiling your boyfriend every now and then, especially since he has never been this attached or needy for attention before. For a while, you wonder if there was something up at work or with the group but then you push that thought aside. You’re determined to make him happy and at least for tonight, he won’t have to worry about a thing.

You start with the make-up remover, gently rubbing off the remnants of his eyeliner and tint. Then, you move on to the cleanser, smoothly cleaning away the sweat and tiredness. You dry him off with a fluffy towel and then lean forward to peck his nose.

“Happy?”

“Very.”

He undresses as you fill the bathtub, making sure there are extra bubbles this time. He sighs contentedly as he lowers himself into the tub, relishing the effect of the warm water on his sore muscles.

You lather up his hair in shampoo, fingers massaging his scalp to relieve the tension that has piled up during the day. He purrs unabashedly at your ministrations and you can’t help but chuckle at him.

He lets you off the hook when he rinses off and gets dressed but pulls you in again to dry his hair. Sitting at the edge of the tub, he wedges you in between his legs and keeps curiously still the entire time you’re blowing his hair.

When you’re done, he hugs you to himself, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your abdomen, right below your breast. You run your fingers through his freshly dried hair, loving how silky smooth it feels against your skin.

“You’re right. This shirt is comfy,” he says, rubbing his face into your belly.

You giggle at the ticklish sensation and gently push at his head.

“You know you’re acting very much like a kid today? or a cat?”

He perks up at that, blinking owlishly at you, “a cute one?”

You don’t even try to smother your laughter this time and you lean down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“The cutest,” you tell him before you have time to cringe and regret even saying it.

He beams at you, eyes crinkling cutely, and stands, taking the dryer out of one hand and then grabbing your other, he leads you out and into the bedroom. Settling on the bed with a heavy ‘oomph’, he rolls over to the other side and then pats the empty space, inviting you to join him.

You climb on and immediately he pulls you in with a hand on the small of your back. He tucks your head under his chin and hugs you to his chest, almost smothering you with his tight grip.

“Daehyun, are you sure everything’s okay?” You ask worriedly, though your voice is muted.

He finally lets you go and you breathe a sigh of relief when you see an easy smile on his lips.

“Everything’s fine.” He assures you and after a pause, “was I really that bad today?”

You squirm a little when you hear the hint of hurt in his voice. “No, that’s not- It was just unexpected…”

You smile as you remember the various faces your boyfriend had put on today and you reach up to brush his fringe off his forehead, revealing an earnest look behind it.

 “You were such a kid. You don’t usually do that.”

He looks down sheepishly, “Yeah, well, I just felt like it…” He stops and looks up pointedly at you, “and besides, I’m lucky enough to have someone who can put up with it.”

You snort and start to call him out on his flattery but he stops you with a short kiss on the lips and when he pulls back, he stares straight into your eyes.

“I’m serious. Thank you for putting up with me… and for everything.” He says as he brushes your cheek with his thumb.

“I love you, so much.”

And he leans down, drawing you closer at the same time until your lips meet. It’s heaven when his lips move so deliberately over yours, every move sending tingles up and down your spine, and igniting sparks at every nerve ending in your body.

He breaks the kiss and gives you some time to replenish your oxygen supply but it’s not enough time to calm your racing heart before he slips a warm palm up your shirt to caress your bare stomach.

“I was acting like a kid, you say? Let me show you how much of a kid I am now.”

The last thing you register is a smirk on his face and his lips coming down to devour yours before you give yourself wholly to his wishes once more.